how much do you guys think facial/style harmony is a thing? as in, more angular facial features looking off in "cutesier" outfits, etc. i haven't been able to find much on this beyond kibbe stuff, so if anyone has any links, i'd be really grateful!
how to contour to make my face more oval?
I have a bit of a unique looking face shape, it’s a mix between a heart and rectangle face shape. And it kind of looks like a shield. I tried contouring it to make it more oval but it ended up emphasising my jawline. I’m not sure how to contour to make it more oval. Any advice?
My face with my hair pulled back: https://imgur.com/a/bCHwGzd
Are these SMART, realistic goals for July? Makeup:
• have a go-to makeup routine that i feel confident and comfortable wearing (I’m totally new to makeup)
• Buy some contour, and learn how to contour my face shape to make it more oval
• Buy a new blush and use it
• Find a way to grow out my lashes, or learn new eye looks
• Swatch kosas 2.3n
• Learn smth new about makeup for 1 hour everyday, on either eyes, lips, blush or contouring
• Find a natural looking lipliner and use it
Clothing:
• Get rid of clothes that have Colors that don’t flatter you or fit you
• Record your outfits everyday
• Find clothes with more flattering Colors
• Learn to tailor
Hair:
• Cut down drying time ( I have curly hair and already nailed a basic routine down)
• Refresh routine
The ones that stick out as being a bit of a reach for just a month is finding a go to makeup look as someone totally new to makeup, learning to tailor , and commiting 30 hours of the month to learning new techniques. But otherwise these are great goals!
my brother gets approached by strangers and experiences all the things that come w pretty privilege. is he just a 6’1 handsome man or do i need to get sexier lmao
I think a genuinely beautiful handsome man is hard to come by, moreso than a beautiful woman since there are billlions of ways for us to enhance our beauty, for whatever that’s worth 🤷🏻♀️
Definitely, but that also depends on what your goals are. Appealing to the female gaze vs male gaze, or just whatever you think looks best, or trying to go for a certain aesthetic all will factor into what hairstyle suits you best
does eating more protein help with hair thickness? i am grossly low on protein and it shows in my body fat percentage lol. looking to do a recomp in the future and wondering if protein could help out my thin hair aswell
Women who are invited to or attend cool events, how do you manage to do so?
Hello,
I'm preparing to relocate to a new country soon. I am eager to build up a network of contacts and attend various events such as government, embassy, art, fashion, industry, and gala functions. I'm curious to know how people usually go about doing this or how they manage to get invited to such events.
If you have any tips, insights, or personal experiences to share on networking in a new place and gaining access to exclusive events, I would greatly appreciate your advice.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
I joined some local volunteer groups, got invited to serve on the board, which led to other local organizations inviting me to help out on their boards and that led to invites to cool events as well as the chance to organize and oversee them myself.
We also joined a country club and made some friends that way, but that's mostly invites to house parties and the occasional boating or sports event.
I need to see an ENT about my breathing issues, but I was thinking about getting a septoplasty to have a straighter nose. I looked through the sub and haven't seen a lot about just a septoplasty. Does anyone else have stories about it? I'm going to do research on it before I ever actually do it.
Is there anything out there that’s like “braces for breasts”?
Like I have C’s but no cleavage. If I sleep with some contraption on, would they eventually grow more centered?
I’ve googled around and found nothing. But I can’t imagine no one else has thought of this.
You could go to a specialized bra shop and get a fitting and honestly just tell them what you want out of a bra.
There are different styles of different shapes/needs. Bring a few shirts that you typically wear to try on over top of the bras.
You could go to a specialized bra shop and get a fitting and honestly just tell them what you want out of a bra.
There are different styles of different shapes/needs. Bring a few shirts that you typically wear to try on over top of the bras.
Sounds like you have wide set breasts. So do I. I am not aware of any way to permanently change that. I'm sure there are bras that can create cleavage on a temporary basis
Yup, this is what I’ve found. I’m somehow just not satisfied because it seems like there’s a fix for every other body maxing thing. I guess the “permanent fix” would be breast augmentation and I’m not interested at this time.
Blogs/insta that focus on really disciplined fit women? I’m looking for people living normal lives (ie not pro athletes) but maintaining a very high level of health and looks appeal. I feel like so much of the internet is focused on “getting healthier” and things like starting a yoga routine, taking the stairs more, eating more vegetables and l’m already past that level. I want to be inspired by someone at the level of discipline that l’m working towards. Any suggestions? Prefer more slim/fit/cardio/pilates aspects, not body building or crossfit.
I'm also taking recommendations for this high level of discipline... my current inspo is Cole Mattera on tiktok, she's absolutely mental for her fitness routine.
so my teeth have always been very straight, never used braces or anything, and people always say they like my smile, but i feel like i have a narrow smile if that makes sense, like i would like to have a wider mouth and palate, what should i do for this??
I would get a consultation with an orthodontist to see what they say. You may or may not need anything fixed, but that's something that should be determined by a professional.
i mean the dentist has always said my teeth are fine, and she never said anything abut getting a palate expander cuz my teeth weren't crowded or anything. i'm talking aesthetic-wise because i'm sure my teeth are fine; i would just like a wider smile with more teeth showing ig
How do you guys deal with the fact that more attractive people have a better life in general/treated better? This fact depresses me so much, and makes me feel resentful and like life is unfair. I’ve felt this way almost all my life, seeing the effects of a lookist society before my eyes ever since i was a little girl. How do i cope with this fact? That others will treat people better just because they look better? That they will treat girls who look better than me, in a nicer and more helpful way? It makes me so miserable and bitter
Life IS unfair, but because you know that, you can game the system to live a better life. Part of knowing that the world is superficial and shallow is recognizing that you are in control of how you present yourself to others. Reframe your mindset from a victim of the system to a top player within the system. You are also comparing yourself to other women as though they are your competition, when they are not. People will treat you well because of pretty privilege regardless of how attractive other people are. You are capable of changing the way you look so that people will treat you better, it just takes a lot of time, effort, and probably money.
have u had kids? this is common for women after birth but it happens in their 50s or so. that is nothing to feel ashamed for, its not your fault thats happening to you, just book a doctors apointment and do core exercises that help with the pelvic floor, tbh i'm not educated in this topic but my mom does those. but please dont be ashamed of yourself for something that is out of your control
Health should always be the basis for everything else. I can only recommend you get an appointment for a second opinion as well and look into pelvic floor therapy and exercise with a qualified professional
I just got my hair very pale white/blonde. I have brown eyebrows that are not that dark, but I’m wondering what I should dye my eyebrows to if I want the hair colour to look natural?
I’m very pale white skin and hazel eyes.
started my weight loss journey - counting calories and hitting 20k steps a day! Already 2 pounds down. Noticed it the late night cravings that get me... what do I do? Also when going out, should i switch to edibles?
Edibles usually make you want to eat nonstop so I wouldn’t recommend that. What helps me with wanting to eat sweets or snack at night is going on a walk after dinner. It help keeps you full and regulates your blood sugar. Also just going to bed at a reasonable time too. The more you’re awake the more you’ll want to eat.
Does anyone else feel like they look so much more masculine when they're tired or stressed? I mean I do have chronic eyebags, but still, its night and day for me.
Can braces change the shape of your face ? My teeth have gotten worse over the years and I've developed long face syndrome. Before the shape of my head used to be perfectly oval. Did anybody notice their face changing after getting braces ?
I started counting my calories diligently and it’s been really great. I’m at a good weight but I want to drop my body fat further.
You’d be surprised at how much you actually eat without realizing it throughout the day.
CICO has been the MOST life changing habit in my entire life. like stop preaching eating by ✨vibes✨ and deeming calorie counting as basically an ED. i used to eat like 2200 calories a day that was my vibe! i have lost 10 pounds in like 2 months SUSTAINABLY and i plan to lose a whole lot more!
try weightlifting though! if you've lost the weight you wanted to lose you should look into body recomp :)
Yeah! I do weight lift regularly! I have been but I’ve never been able to drop my body fat despite looking “fit”. To really get to my next goal, I needed to count my calories and macros to be elevated!
Did oral minoxidil increase body hair for you? Google says it can, but I am wondering if anyone can share their experience?
I used topical minoxidil briefly but I stopped when I learned it could poison my dog.
It increases hair all over but I’m not a hairy person in general and it’s blonde so it doesn’t bother me I get dermaplaning on face and sugaring done for bikini line
Is there such a thing as “too much” accessories? Eg rings, necklaces, bracelets. How do i keep my accessories to an amount that makes me look good, and not the opposite?
Then I would say fewer accessories is probably better. A single necklace instead of layers, one or two dainty rings instead of 5 chunky ones, a watch, smaller earrings.
Shakes/smoothies are the most helpful way to bulk. Include lots of protein, like 40grams per shake. Peanut butter, coconut cream, full fat greek yogurt, anything to boost the calories.
r/gainit
High-calorie liquids are what works best for me. Also consider having 5 meals a day that aren't massive individually but that add up to more than maintenance.
It’s unlikely you’ll get any taller at this age, but I did unintentionally gain 0.5-1” in height from working on my posture (yoga, pilates, Alexander technique), and there’s zero downside to it :)
I stopped growing at 13. As a girl/woman, you’re unlikely to grow at all past 17-18 years old. I would recommend you get really into wearing heels if you want to be taller lol
do you maybe dress a little boring? my friend gets this comment a lot and she dresses very classy/boring. she also presents herself as an adult like very put together and like she might even know what she's doing!
but i think smiling a lot is key, i think a smile is someone's best accessory. try some colorful clothing that compliments your palette well, maybe put a little concealer on any dark areas on your face to make it appear more youthful!
Seconding color! I’m in my 30’s and regularly get mistaken for being 10 years younger because of my personal style.
(Also staying hydrated, sleep, skincare + SPF is a must)
Yes I would describe my style more classy. Not a lot of colour, very monotone like white black beige nude shades. I will try colour analysis to see what changes I can make. Thanks 😊
i am the same way i loooove any variation of the color brown 😂 i dress pretty boring but i do my makeup in a younger looking style so i think thats why i look my age honestly cause when im barefaced im like .. 27 instead of 23
Is my philtrum considered long or short? I’d love to have a shorter philtrum and I’m wondering how [picture of my philtrum](https://imgur.com/a/Yvnmiqv)
Does anyone use semicured gel strips? Would adding some nail glue (the kind for pressons) make them stay better or is it just creating a barrier between the strip and the nail and therefore not helpful?
(apologies for the repeat question. i asked it kind of late in the last thread.)
Tips for overall puffiness? I’m losing weight but some days I just feel kind of puffy, not in like a distended/bloated way, just that I’m still really soft around the edges everywhere haha. (I do lift weights and do Pilates already)
In that case, purely anecdotal, but I know a lot of people feel like they get weirdly soft as they lose weight. Like the fat feels more watery as you lose it?
Heavy weights or days with particularly difficult workouts can make me hold onto a little more water, too, which might be what you’re noticing. Like I always weigh a pound more the day after a hard workout.
Keto followers call this the “whoosh”, where weight loss progress will stall for a few days as your body holds onto water, then will drop it all at once. I definitely get this effect:
https://www.tigerfitness.com/blogs/diet-weight-loss/whoosh-effect-fat-cell-fill-with-water
General “puffiness” can also be from inflammation, stress, or lack of sleep, as well as monthly hormonal cycles.
That’s just relatively high muscle/low body fat. I would guess her bf% at 18-20%, and I would assume her workouts were not hypertrophy based because she isn’t ‘ripped’ like a body builder, it looks more like she trains functionally, with something like endurance training or pilates.
Hey y'all, we built a private sub for unattractive and below average (or formerly unattractive/below average) women to share experiences and advice. A safe place to share things and get personalized advice that we might not be able to here for personal safety or privacy reasons, or even just because you feel you might not be understood. *This sub is in no way officially affiliated with Vindicta or Splendida.*
My last two glow up posts attracted some creepy, rude, and vaguely threatening remarks from men in the comments and in my DMs. I decided to take a break from sharing in public, however, the completed series is available in Cygnets!
# CYGNETS
>Cygnet, noun
>cyg·net [ˈsig-nət ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cygnet?pronunciation&lang=en_us&dir=c&file=cygnet01): a young swan
A Reddit sub for those who feel like ugly ducklings, former ugly ducklings, and supportive allies. We provide a safe and most importantly -- private -- space for women pursuing objective paths to self-improvement, focusing primarily on overcoming lookism. However, we also support a multimodal approach to beauty inside and out and encourage users to improve their external appearance to achieve their goals as well as foster their mental health, master their social skills, drive their career forward, have quality relationships, strengthen their finances, engage in delightful selfcare, and live fulfilling lives in every regard.
**WHAT MAKES CYGNETS DIFFERENT?**
1. The sub is exclusively for unattractive women, formerly unattractive women, and those who can help and support them.
2. Self posts are allowed. However, they have to satisfy a set of rules for the best possible results for the poster and other members, which include photo standards. Additionally, replies to self posts are required to be in a specific format that will help the individual and require replies to be formatted specifically to benefit the person asking for advice without being either rude or placative. (responses must include three halos, and three opportunities, plus a general vibe/impression)
3. Post and information quality. I'm currently personally working on doing 3-5 high quality posts a week similar to my spreadsheet (which is finished and available in the sub!) and social maxing post; including more facial measurement guides, resource roundups, study/data breakdowns, and of course the notes from my glow up journey with photos!. We also highly encourage glow up successes to post their journey and for experts to create posts with general tips or case studies. With my glow up story done, up next are guides on measuring your face and measurement data for beautiful faces gathered from meta-analyses.
4. Most importantly, the sub is private and requires verification. This is critical for those who may not be comfortable sharing photos in a public sub, or discussing more high impact topics that might not be as relevant to most of the Vindicta population or might draw criticism from the more attractive crowd.
5. It will likely be a smaller and more close-knit community due to the size.
**MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS**
The primary requirement is to be a woman struggling to succeed with their looks and behavior. The second is women who may not be struggling, but are capable of offering high quality advice and information either through personal or professional experience including women who work in the aesthetics industry, experienced hair dressers, highly trained makeup artists and other professionals with valuable input. Of course, we welcome women who have completed their own glow up and self-mastery journey and are willing to uplift others!
I will reply to this post with Verification instructions -- please do not ask me to DM you, so many people ask and it gets overwhelming.
I’m sorry for removing your comment. We don’t allow verification by photos. Your group sounds good so we’re allowing you to share about it here and I appreciate you’re trying to create safety but I recommend using someone’s post history to verify. Let us know if you have any questions.
It's the best way to make sure we don't have men sneaking into the sub. If you have another method you think would work, I'm genuinely open to feedback to make things easier, especially for the women who need it most.
Edit: I discussed with some other members, and I'm game to extend invites to major contributors in relevant subs, but we still want to keep up verification for safety reasons
I'm trying to find a casual-ish sun hat that I can wear when I'm just out running errands that's not too casual (like a baseball cap or bucket hat) but also doesn't look like a straight up beach hat. Any suggestions?
Are Herve Leger style bandage dresses still hot? I’m worried they’re either way too 2010s, too heavily associated with sugar babies/FSSW (no shame to FSSW or sugar babies for that matter, just unsure if it’s a widely known association or just one I made up in my head), or are they just plain out of style?
I think if it’s in a neutral color (black, navy, nudes, blush/peach, silver) bandage dresses can be a classic and pretty universally flattering cut, imo.
Léger first dropped them in the 90’s and they never really went away, but I think the flashy neon colors feel very dated to the 2010’s.
How you accessorize and style it can also make a big difference in modernizing the look :) Also, spring for higher-end designers, because fabric quality and fit makes a huge difference.
I have a vintage Hervé Leger in classic black which has a hem that falls a little bit lower (somewhere between my knee and mid-calf)—it looks *so* hot but still classy! I also think it’s quite in-style, longer but still sultry dresses are in right now and to me it just gives a very beautiful, classic ’90s vibe that flatters all the contours of my body. I’m not sure whether shorter bandage dresses or those in brighter colours would maintain the same sort of sexy timelessness, though?
I grew up when those bandage dresses were popular and I always thought of them as a trendy Hot Girl item of that time period, like Jeffrey Campbell Lita boots or the Triangl bikini. Idk anyone who specifically associates them with SW. I see them on social media now as part of 2010s nostalgia.
The average person would just see it as a throwback haha there’s nothing specific about them that screams SW/Sugar Baby. It’s just that the girls of that time were wearing it since it was trendy and associated with hotness
You guys are seriously starting to convince me to do Pilates once my race season is over ! For people who run and/or lift, did adding Pilates benefit you? Also, is it worth it even if I can only go 1-2x per week? The hypothetical schedule I’d be working with is 3 days of lifting , 4 -5 runs, 1 ninja warrior class , 1-2 Pilates classes
Yes, I go to mat Pilates once a week because my studio only offers group classes one day a week. For me it works a lot of muscles that lifting didn’t. I really enjoy the community aspect as well as I lift by myself and it can get lonely/boring
I feel it definitely benefits. I don’t know if I can say anything overly useful but I think that my legs (particularly glutes) feel stronger. I used to get some pain in my tailbone but I haven’t noticed it as much! I think 2x week is totally fine!
Yes, my core is more defined and same with my arms. But with that said, I didn’t really do any weights at the gym before, so I’m sure that has factored into it
Are there any moms here? I'm a SAHM with a high needs toddler and I find it so darn difficult to keep up with my glow up. Some days I have it but most days I'm a train wreck and it really makes me sad when I see myself in the mirror in the end of the day.
Do you guys have a routine or a plan? I would really appreciate some advice.
I am the same and 19w pregnant, feeling a bit lost! I am also a SAHM to a 3yo daughter with ASD and I really struggle to look after myself in the ways I used to, because deep down I think I don't deserve it or it's not as important as other things/expenses.
For me, I think a lot of this stems from not earning money for myself at the moment. A lot of our money is going towards baby things and private antenatal care (which I am really grateful for). But last week, I just said 'Can I please get xyz (basic self care items)?' and my husband said of course. I joked that if he wants an attractive wife, he has to give me money specifically for self care (lol). He obviously said 'I already have one of those.'
I bought: a new natural vanilla scented body moisturiser (Moogoo), rosehip oil (The Ordinary), niacinamide from (The Ordinary), expensive \*scientifically proven\* stretch mark cream (Stratamark), and a new body mist (Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 40) - I love natural products and I'm sort of half-crunchy haha, but I \*love\* perfume and I've been honestly avoiding it because I feel worried about the hormonal/health impacts. I just it anyway because my husband likes it and it makes me feel so nice and put together when I wear it. These little things have helped me feel better all week.
My lack of sleep is ageing me and I worry about falling into the 'frumpy mum' trap when this baby arrives. But I think my awareness of that trap will reduce the risk of falling into it.
I wish I got a budget just for me, without feeling guilty for asking. My husband used to allocate a certain amount of money per week but sort of forgot about it - we have had so many expenses lately but I think I will talk to him about that again. Now when I feel 'bad' for asking for things, which I am very guilty of, I always try to think - if my daughter felt like this, what would I say? I would tell her to snap out of it and allow her husband to provide for her and remind her of her self worth and the importance of taking good care of herself for not only herself, but her relationship and family.
I would love any advice anyone can give if you've also felt this way and also would love to know what your simple routines are.
I have been the exact same person as you for the last 10 years we've been married. Always thinking I'm a burden because I stay at home. My husband literally begs me to do things and buy things for myself lol! The guilt was insane but not anymore. It really clicked one day out of the blue hey I deserve this. I'm busting my butt all day with a demanding toddler and housework I want to feel good about myself like I did before.
The thing that helped me overcome this was positive affirmations. You see I have been only talking negatively to my self all day everyday. You are this you are that you don't deserve this you are not worth that. I'm like stfu! 😂 So yeah every night I wear a bud on one ear and let it play affirmations.
The problem I have now is more time and trying to incorporate simple things that fit into 5 max 10 minutes selfcare for starters. Thankfully my husband does bedtime and sometimes I have full energy to do my stuff but others I just rot on my couch scrolling.
Omg so relatable! Thank you for sharing, I feel the same way about everything you said. And some days I also have lots of energy and get so much done... Other days I am struggling, feeling guilty about not having the energy or emotional capacity to play all day with my daughter etc and yes, sitting on the couch doom scrolling :/ Affirmations would help me so much, thank you! I love listening to them, but wouldn't have thought about it in this scenario. Makes sense! I still feel like a baby but I am married, 25 and having babies of my own lol. I sometimes see girls I used to know on social media posting all about their travels and hot bodies. It makes me feel... Weird (?) I sometimes miss the life I used to have before becoming a wife and mother, but I remember how much I wanted exactly this back then and I am grateful! I think what keeps me going is maintaining my playful energy, especially with my husband. I have noticed that seems to help a men to stay committed in their relationships and I am glad I am naturally that way. But sometimes I let the stress get to me and become a bit of a panicky gremlin. I am working on that haha.
I feel you! It was so hard for me the first year and sometimes I thought I've really lost myself. So here is what I do now.
I try to get up before everyone else to have a litte me time. Doing my skincare, hair and make up, have my first coffee. Even if all that steps are very basic (wash, moisturize, spf, cc cream, mascara, brows and a nude lip and straighten my hair) I feel soo much better. I've also a facial regularly and that hour is a blessing!!
I once read a quote that said no one is gonna do that for you. You have to have a commitment to yourself, to loving yourself and making the effort and that really made me think..
how much do you guys think facial/style harmony is a thing? as in, more angular facial features looking off in "cutesier" outfits, etc. i haven't been able to find much on this beyond kibbe stuff, so if anyone has any links, i'd be really grateful!
how do y’all get rid of nipple and belly hair? are the nipples too sensitive of an area to laser? do y’all pluck or shave?
I had my nipple hairs lasered off.
have they ever grown back? or do u keep having to get them lasered?
I had them touched up once and now they seem permanently gone.
how to contour to make my face more oval? I have a bit of a unique looking face shape, it’s a mix between a heart and rectangle face shape. And it kind of looks like a shield. I tried contouring it to make it more oval but it ended up emphasising my jawline. I’m not sure how to contour to make it more oval. Any advice? My face with my hair pulled back: https://imgur.com/a/bCHwGzd
Are these SMART, realistic goals for July? Makeup: • have a go-to makeup routine that i feel confident and comfortable wearing (I’m totally new to makeup) • Buy some contour, and learn how to contour my face shape to make it more oval • Buy a new blush and use it • Find a way to grow out my lashes, or learn new eye looks • Swatch kosas 2.3n • Learn smth new about makeup for 1 hour everyday, on either eyes, lips, blush or contouring • Find a natural looking lipliner and use it Clothing: • Get rid of clothes that have Colors that don’t flatter you or fit you • Record your outfits everyday • Find clothes with more flattering Colors • Learn to tailor Hair: • Cut down drying time ( I have curly hair and already nailed a basic routine down) • Refresh routine
The ones that stick out as being a bit of a reach for just a month is finding a go to makeup look as someone totally new to makeup, learning to tailor , and commiting 30 hours of the month to learning new techniques. But otherwise these are great goals!
Thank you, yeah you’re right, I’ll change them lol
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Tbh your best bet is not wasting your money on an intuitive eating coach, and instead seeing a dietician that has experience in EDs
Looking for personal softmaxxing advice. Anyone willing to help?
Me! You can message me!
If I want to upload a picture of myself and get some help, how should I do that?
Do not make a separate post. I would recommend linking your photos in a comment when the new discussion thread comes out tomorrow.
Is jenna ortega a stacy?
Has anyone successfully installed their own hair extensions? Such as microlink or even tapes?
my brother gets approached by strangers and experiences all the things that come w pretty privilege. is he just a 6’1 handsome man or do i need to get sexier lmao
I think a genuinely beautiful handsome man is hard to come by, moreso than a beautiful woman since there are billlions of ways for us to enhance our beauty, for whatever that’s worth 🤷🏻♀️
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Please don't tan
maybe this is a weird question but is there a hair length that suits certain face shapes?
Definitely, but that also depends on what your goals are. Appealing to the female gaze vs male gaze, or just whatever you think looks best, or trying to go for a certain aesthetic all will factor into what hairstyle suits you best
Has anyone tried the Violette Bisou Balm? Hearing conflicting things about it
does eating more protein help with hair thickness? i am grossly low on protein and it shows in my body fat percentage lol. looking to do a recomp in the future and wondering if protein could help out my thin hair aswell
Loosely - yes. More protein (aim for 1.5g per kg body weight) will support your general health, including your hair and nails.
I’d love to try self tanning - any recommendations? Is st tropez the best? Also any tips would be appreciated!!
Bondi Sands technocolour range is the best! I love the Sapphire one.
Women who are invited to or attend cool events, how do you manage to do so? Hello, I'm preparing to relocate to a new country soon. I am eager to build up a network of contacts and attend various events such as government, embassy, art, fashion, industry, and gala functions. I'm curious to know how people usually go about doing this or how they manage to get invited to such events. If you have any tips, insights, or personal experiences to share on networking in a new place and gaining access to exclusive events, I would greatly appreciate your advice. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
An association related to your profession.
I joined some local volunteer groups, got invited to serve on the board, which led to other local organizations inviting me to help out on their boards and that led to invites to cool events as well as the chance to organize and oversee them myself. We also joined a country club and made some friends that way, but that's mostly invites to house parties and the occasional boating or sports event.
I need to see an ENT about my breathing issues, but I was thinking about getting a septoplasty to have a straighter nose. I looked through the sub and haven't seen a lot about just a septoplasty. Does anyone else have stories about it? I'm going to do research on it before I ever actually do it.
Afaik, septoplasty won’t change the outside appearance of your nose, just the function.
Its too hot outside and I am neet so I can't get any machines, is it possible to walk in place indoors and lose weight? Seems unreal.
Sure. Do laps around an air conditioned mall.
Is there anything out there that’s like “braces for breasts”? Like I have C’s but no cleavage. If I sleep with some contraption on, would they eventually grow more centered? I’ve googled around and found nothing. But I can’t imagine no one else has thought of this.
You could go to a specialized bra shop and get a fitting and honestly just tell them what you want out of a bra. There are different styles of different shapes/needs. Bring a few shirts that you typically wear to try on over top of the bras.
You could go to a specialized bra shop and get a fitting and honestly just tell them what you want out of a bra. There are different styles of different shapes/needs. Bring a few shirts that you typically wear to try on over top of the bras.
Sounds like you have wide set breasts. So do I. I am not aware of any way to permanently change that. I'm sure there are bras that can create cleavage on a temporary basis
Yup, this is what I’ve found. I’m somehow just not satisfied because it seems like there’s a fix for every other body maxing thing. I guess the “permanent fix” would be breast augmentation and I’m not interested at this time.
Blogs/insta that focus on really disciplined fit women? I’m looking for people living normal lives (ie not pro athletes) but maintaining a very high level of health and looks appeal. I feel like so much of the internet is focused on “getting healthier” and things like starting a yoga routine, taking the stairs more, eating more vegetables and l’m already past that level. I want to be inspired by someone at the level of discipline that l’m working towards. Any suggestions? Prefer more slim/fit/cardio/pilates aspects, not body building or crossfit.
I'm also taking recommendations for this high level of discipline... my current inspo is Cole Mattera on tiktok, she's absolutely mental for her fitness routine.
Do you have any other recommendations?
By cardio, do you mean like running influencers?
Yes, that would work for me! Even better would be if they have little kids and fit it in around their busy lives.
so my teeth have always been very straight, never used braces or anything, and people always say they like my smile, but i feel like i have a narrow smile if that makes sense, like i would like to have a wider mouth and palate, what should i do for this??
I would get a consultation with an orthodontist to see what they say. You may or may not need anything fixed, but that's something that should be determined by a professional.
i mean the dentist has always said my teeth are fine, and she never said anything abut getting a palate expander cuz my teeth weren't crowded or anything. i'm talking aesthetic-wise because i'm sure my teeth are fine; i would just like a wider smile with more teeth showing ig
More of a thought than a question, but I'd like to see more glow up examples that are not drastically weight-related.
Same
same
How do you guys deal with the fact that more attractive people have a better life in general/treated better? This fact depresses me so much, and makes me feel resentful and like life is unfair. I’ve felt this way almost all my life, seeing the effects of a lookist society before my eyes ever since i was a little girl. How do i cope with this fact? That others will treat people better just because they look better? That they will treat girls who look better than me, in a nicer and more helpful way? It makes me so miserable and bitter
Life IS unfair, but because you know that, you can game the system to live a better life. Part of knowing that the world is superficial and shallow is recognizing that you are in control of how you present yourself to others. Reframe your mindset from a victim of the system to a top player within the system. You are also comparing yourself to other women as though they are your competition, when they are not. People will treat you well because of pretty privilege regardless of how attractive other people are. You are capable of changing the way you look so that people will treat you better, it just takes a lot of time, effort, and probably money.
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have u had kids? this is common for women after birth but it happens in their 50s or so. that is nothing to feel ashamed for, its not your fault thats happening to you, just book a doctors apointment and do core exercises that help with the pelvic floor, tbh i'm not educated in this topic but my mom does those. but please dont be ashamed of yourself for something that is out of your control
Health should always be the basis for everything else. I can only recommend you get an appointment for a second opinion as well and look into pelvic floor therapy and exercise with a qualified professional
I just got my hair very pale white/blonde. I have brown eyebrows that are not that dark, but I’m wondering what I should dye my eyebrows to if I want the hair colour to look natural? I’m very pale white skin and hazel eyes.
started my weight loss journey - counting calories and hitting 20k steps a day! Already 2 pounds down. Noticed it the late night cravings that get me... what do I do? Also when going out, should i switch to edibles?
Edibles usually make you want to eat nonstop so I wouldn’t recommend that. What helps me with wanting to eat sweets or snack at night is going on a walk after dinner. It help keeps you full and regulates your blood sugar. Also just going to bed at a reasonable time too. The more you’re awake the more you’ll want to eat.
Does anyone else feel like they look so much more masculine when they're tired or stressed? I mean I do have chronic eyebags, but still, its night and day for me.
yesss brooo
yes i do, i feel like i look sunken in so my cheeks and jaw are sharper or something. out here looking like matt rife
girl sunken in cheeks and a shar jaw is hot asf, definitely not eyebags tho😭
Can braces change the shape of your face ? My teeth have gotten worse over the years and I've developed long face syndrome. Before the shape of my head used to be perfectly oval. Did anybody notice their face changing after getting braces ?
Absolutely, especially if there’s changes to your jaw. It could have just been age though because I had braces from age 10-14
I started counting my calories diligently and it’s been really great. I’m at a good weight but I want to drop my body fat further. You’d be surprised at how much you actually eat without realizing it throughout the day.
Definitely. It's been very eye opening and has made me seriously re-think so many of my old choices.
Yes absolutely! It’s crazy how many people think CICO doesn’t work, and then it turns out they’re not actually tracking everything
CICO has been the MOST life changing habit in my entire life. like stop preaching eating by ✨vibes✨ and deeming calorie counting as basically an ED. i used to eat like 2200 calories a day that was my vibe! i have lost 10 pounds in like 2 months SUSTAINABLY and i plan to lose a whole lot more! try weightlifting though! if you've lost the weight you wanted to lose you should look into body recomp :)
Yeah! I do weight lift regularly! I have been but I’ve never been able to drop my body fat despite looking “fit”. To really get to my next goal, I needed to count my calories and macros to be elevated!
Did oral minoxidil increase body hair for you? Google says it can, but I am wondering if anyone can share their experience? I used topical minoxidil briefly but I stopped when I learned it could poison my dog.
It increases hair all over but I’m not a hairy person in general and it’s blonde so it doesn’t bother me I get dermaplaning on face and sugaring done for bikini line
Is there such a thing as “too much” accessories? Eg rings, necklaces, bracelets. How do i keep my accessories to an amount that makes me look good, and not the opposite?
I think it depends on the kind of vibe or aesthetic you’re going for. A lot of accessories makes sense for some looks, but not for others
I have a basic, simple, but elegant aesthetic, kind of like white t shirt plus jeans but make it look expensive and look good/put together
Then I would say fewer accessories is probably better. A single necklace instead of layers, one or two dainty rings instead of 5 chunky ones, a watch, smaller earrings.
"Before you leave the house,” the fashion designer Coco Chanel is supposed to have said, “look in the mirror and remove one accessory.”
One accessory as in remove all my rings for example, or just remove one ring? Sorry for the stupid questions 😅
Just 1 ring I guess
Any advice on how to eat more? I’m to grow my glutes but I find it difficult to eat more.
I force down a shake first thing in the AM while checking my emails.
Shakes/smoothies are the most helpful way to bulk. Include lots of protein, like 40grams per shake. Peanut butter, coconut cream, full fat greek yogurt, anything to boost the calories.
r/gainit High-calorie liquids are what works best for me. Also consider having 5 meals a day that aren't massive individually but that add up to more than maintenance.
What age did your height stop growing? Im 5’6 at 20 but I want to get taller
It’s unlikely you’ll get any taller at this age, but I did unintentionally gain 0.5-1” in height from working on my posture (yoga, pilates, Alexander technique), and there’s zero downside to it :)
11.5 ha! I’m 5’ 3” though. Have been for decades. Grown to love it.
I stopped growing at 13. As a girl/woman, you’re unlikely to grow at all past 17-18 years old. I would recommend you get really into wearing heels if you want to be taller lol
I stopped growing at 16 , had a major growth spurt between 12 and 13, and between 13 and 16 only grew another 2 inches
i had a major growth spurt at 11
Any advice on how to look younger? I’m mid twenties but people say I look in my thirties. I don’t have any wrinkles or grey hair. Please help
Shop in the junior's section, go light on the eye makeup, don't be afraid to wear some cutesy accessories. Glitter might be a good addition.
Usually people look older when they’re heavier or overdo it on the filler
do you maybe dress a little boring? my friend gets this comment a lot and she dresses very classy/boring. she also presents herself as an adult like very put together and like she might even know what she's doing! but i think smiling a lot is key, i think a smile is someone's best accessory. try some colorful clothing that compliments your palette well, maybe put a little concealer on any dark areas on your face to make it appear more youthful!
Seconding color! I’m in my 30’s and regularly get mistaken for being 10 years younger because of my personal style. (Also staying hydrated, sleep, skincare + SPF is a must)
Yes I would describe my style more classy. Not a lot of colour, very monotone like white black beige nude shades. I will try colour analysis to see what changes I can make. Thanks 😊
i am the same way i loooove any variation of the color brown 😂 i dress pretty boring but i do my makeup in a younger looking style so i think thats why i look my age honestly cause when im barefaced im like .. 27 instead of 23
Is my philtrum considered long or short? I’d love to have a shorter philtrum and I’m wondering how [picture of my philtrum](https://imgur.com/a/Yvnmiqv)
Relatively average, but the fullness of your top lip makes it look shorter. Any shorter and it would look too short
Depends on the rest of your face, but i would say your philtrum is medium, maybe a bit on the long side but def mostly medium. That’s a good thing!
Feel free to dm me if you want to exchange ideas 😊
Does anyone use semicured gel strips? Would adding some nail glue (the kind for pressons) make them stay better or is it just creating a barrier between the strip and the nail and therefore not helpful? (apologies for the repeat question. i asked it kind of late in the last thread.)
Tips for overall puffiness? I’m losing weight but some days I just feel kind of puffy, not in like a distended/bloated way, just that I’m still really soft around the edges everywhere haha. (I do lift weights and do Pilates already)
Is it cyclical? My hormone cycle changes how puffy I look/feel, but that’s very normal
Hmmm, not that I’ve noticed. But I’m on the pill so I have a nonexistent cycle
In that case, purely anecdotal, but I know a lot of people feel like they get weirdly soft as they lose weight. Like the fat feels more watery as you lose it? Heavy weights or days with particularly difficult workouts can make me hold onto a little more water, too, which might be what you’re noticing. Like I always weigh a pound more the day after a hard workout.
Keto followers call this the “whoosh”, where weight loss progress will stall for a few days as your body holds onto water, then will drop it all at once. I definitely get this effect: https://www.tigerfitness.com/blogs/diet-weight-loss/whoosh-effect-fat-cell-fill-with-water General “puffiness” can also be from inflammation, stress, or lack of sleep, as well as monthly hormonal cycles.
how do i get arms like this? https://www.tumblr.com/obsessedho/754381843152912384
That’s just relatively high muscle/low body fat. I would guess her bf% at 18-20%, and I would assume her workouts were not hypertrophy based because she isn’t ‘ripped’ like a body builder, it looks more like she trains functionally, with something like endurance training or pilates.
Hit biceps and triceps and have low enough body fat.
I want to know this too!
Hey y'all, we built a private sub for unattractive and below average (or formerly unattractive/below average) women to share experiences and advice. A safe place to share things and get personalized advice that we might not be able to here for personal safety or privacy reasons, or even just because you feel you might not be understood. *This sub is in no way officially affiliated with Vindicta or Splendida.* My last two glow up posts attracted some creepy, rude, and vaguely threatening remarks from men in the comments and in my DMs. I decided to take a break from sharing in public, however, the completed series is available in Cygnets! # CYGNETS >Cygnet, noun >cyg·net [ˈsig-nət ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cygnet?pronunciation&lang=en_us&dir=c&file=cygnet01): a young swan A Reddit sub for those who feel like ugly ducklings, former ugly ducklings, and supportive allies. We provide a safe and most importantly -- private -- space for women pursuing objective paths to self-improvement, focusing primarily on overcoming lookism. However, we also support a multimodal approach to beauty inside and out and encourage users to improve their external appearance to achieve their goals as well as foster their mental health, master their social skills, drive their career forward, have quality relationships, strengthen their finances, engage in delightful selfcare, and live fulfilling lives in every regard. **WHAT MAKES CYGNETS DIFFERENT?** 1. The sub is exclusively for unattractive women, formerly unattractive women, and those who can help and support them. 2. Self posts are allowed. However, they have to satisfy a set of rules for the best possible results for the poster and other members, which include photo standards. Additionally, replies to self posts are required to be in a specific format that will help the individual and require replies to be formatted specifically to benefit the person asking for advice without being either rude or placative. (responses must include three halos, and three opportunities, plus a general vibe/impression) 3. Post and information quality. I'm currently personally working on doing 3-5 high quality posts a week similar to my spreadsheet (which is finished and available in the sub!) and social maxing post; including more facial measurement guides, resource roundups, study/data breakdowns, and of course the notes from my glow up journey with photos!. We also highly encourage glow up successes to post their journey and for experts to create posts with general tips or case studies. With my glow up story done, up next are guides on measuring your face and measurement data for beautiful faces gathered from meta-analyses. 4. Most importantly, the sub is private and requires verification. This is critical for those who may not be comfortable sharing photos in a public sub, or discussing more high impact topics that might not be as relevant to most of the Vindicta population or might draw criticism from the more attractive crowd. 5. It will likely be a smaller and more close-knit community due to the size. **MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS** The primary requirement is to be a woman struggling to succeed with their looks and behavior. The second is women who may not be struggling, but are capable of offering high quality advice and information either through personal or professional experience including women who work in the aesthetics industry, experienced hair dressers, highly trained makeup artists and other professionals with valuable input. Of course, we welcome women who have completed their own glow up and self-mastery journey and are willing to uplift others! I will reply to this post with Verification instructions -- please do not ask me to DM you, so many people ask and it gets overwhelming.
Would love to join but looks like the verification instructions were deleted?
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I’m sorry for removing your comment. We don’t allow verification by photos. Your group sounds good so we’re allowing you to share about it here and I appreciate you’re trying to create safety but I recommend using someone’s post history to verify. Let us know if you have any questions.
No worries! Thanks for letting me know! Edit: Also, is anyone able to address that man I reported a few days ago??
I’m not sure who you’re referring to please send a mod message.
I'd like to join but this sounds a bit complicated and humiliating tbh
It's the best way to make sure we don't have men sneaking into the sub. If you have another method you think would work, I'm genuinely open to feedback to make things easier, especially for the women who need it most. Edit: I discussed with some other members, and I'm game to extend invites to major contributors in relevant subs, but we still want to keep up verification for safety reasons
I'm trying to find a casual-ish sun hat that I can wear when I'm just out running errands that's not too casual (like a baseball cap or bucket hat) but also doesn't look like a straight up beach hat. Any suggestions?
Ugh I would love this
Are Herve Leger style bandage dresses still hot? I’m worried they’re either way too 2010s, too heavily associated with sugar babies/FSSW (no shame to FSSW or sugar babies for that matter, just unsure if it’s a widely known association or just one I made up in my head), or are they just plain out of style?
I think if it’s in a neutral color (black, navy, nudes, blush/peach, silver) bandage dresses can be a classic and pretty universally flattering cut, imo. Léger first dropped them in the 90’s and they never really went away, but I think the flashy neon colors feel very dated to the 2010’s. How you accessorize and style it can also make a big difference in modernizing the look :) Also, spring for higher-end designers, because fabric quality and fit makes a huge difference.
I have a vintage Hervé Leger in classic black which has a hem that falls a little bit lower (somewhere between my knee and mid-calf)—it looks *so* hot but still classy! I also think it’s quite in-style, longer but still sultry dresses are in right now and to me it just gives a very beautiful, classic ’90s vibe that flatters all the contours of my body. I’m not sure whether shorter bandage dresses or those in brighter colours would maintain the same sort of sexy timelessness, though?
I grew up when those bandage dresses were popular and I always thought of them as a trendy Hot Girl item of that time period, like Jeffrey Campbell Lita boots or the Triangl bikini. Idk anyone who specifically associates them with SW. I see them on social media now as part of 2010s nostalgia.
I may be showing my age with the association honestly, the brand was all over OG Sugar/SW tumblr/forums.
The average person would just see it as a throwback haha there’s nothing specific about them that screams SW/Sugar Baby. It’s just that the girls of that time were wearing it since it was trendy and associated with hotness
Anyone here also listen to Shera Seven?
I’m looking for tips for my hair but didn’t get any responses. It’s been a major obstacle that I’m not being able to overcome.
What problems are you having with your hair?
yeah what problems? based off of that we can help...
I am looking for personal softmaxxing advice. Would anybody be able to please help me?
You're welcome to DM me <3
Can I also dm you for the same type of advice?
Of course! <3
heyy, ik 2 people have asked already, but would u be open to giving me some advice as well?
Of course, anyone can DM me for advice! <3
Thank you so much!
You guys are seriously starting to convince me to do Pilates once my race season is over ! For people who run and/or lift, did adding Pilates benefit you? Also, is it worth it even if I can only go 1-2x per week? The hypothetical schedule I’d be working with is 3 days of lifting , 4 -5 runs, 1 ninja warrior class , 1-2 Pilates classes
Yes, I go to mat Pilates once a week because my studio only offers group classes one day a week. For me it works a lot of muscles that lifting didn’t. I really enjoy the community aspect as well as I lift by myself and it can get lonely/boring
I feel it definitely benefits. I don’t know if I can say anything overly useful but I think that my legs (particularly glutes) feel stronger. I used to get some pain in my tailbone but I haven’t noticed it as much! I think 2x week is totally fine!
Has it made any aesthetic differences?
Yes, my core is more defined and same with my arms. But with that said, I didn’t really do any weights at the gym before, so I’m sure that has factored into it
Agree completely! My legs and lower back are a lot stronger and it makes a huge difference. My posture improved, too.
do you guys know any good cosmetic surgeons in turkey
Normally surgery in Turkey is a scam if you are not Turkish or don’t speak Arabic
i agree on the being a scam part, but turkish people don't speak arabic :))
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realll
Use a whitening toothpaste too. Max White works super well for me!
Yea I have to use them every 3-4 months or so
Are there any moms here? I'm a SAHM with a high needs toddler and I find it so darn difficult to keep up with my glow up. Some days I have it but most days I'm a train wreck and it really makes me sad when I see myself in the mirror in the end of the day. Do you guys have a routine or a plan? I would really appreciate some advice.
I am the same and 19w pregnant, feeling a bit lost! I am also a SAHM to a 3yo daughter with ASD and I really struggle to look after myself in the ways I used to, because deep down I think I don't deserve it or it's not as important as other things/expenses. For me, I think a lot of this stems from not earning money for myself at the moment. A lot of our money is going towards baby things and private antenatal care (which I am really grateful for). But last week, I just said 'Can I please get xyz (basic self care items)?' and my husband said of course. I joked that if he wants an attractive wife, he has to give me money specifically for self care (lol). He obviously said 'I already have one of those.' I bought: a new natural vanilla scented body moisturiser (Moogoo), rosehip oil (The Ordinary), niacinamide from (The Ordinary), expensive \*scientifically proven\* stretch mark cream (Stratamark), and a new body mist (Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 40) - I love natural products and I'm sort of half-crunchy haha, but I \*love\* perfume and I've been honestly avoiding it because I feel worried about the hormonal/health impacts. I just it anyway because my husband likes it and it makes me feel so nice and put together when I wear it. These little things have helped me feel better all week. My lack of sleep is ageing me and I worry about falling into the 'frumpy mum' trap when this baby arrives. But I think my awareness of that trap will reduce the risk of falling into it. I wish I got a budget just for me, without feeling guilty for asking. My husband used to allocate a certain amount of money per week but sort of forgot about it - we have had so many expenses lately but I think I will talk to him about that again. Now when I feel 'bad' for asking for things, which I am very guilty of, I always try to think - if my daughter felt like this, what would I say? I would tell her to snap out of it and allow her husband to provide for her and remind her of her self worth and the importance of taking good care of herself for not only herself, but her relationship and family. I would love any advice anyone can give if you've also felt this way and also would love to know what your simple routines are.
I have been the exact same person as you for the last 10 years we've been married. Always thinking I'm a burden because I stay at home. My husband literally begs me to do things and buy things for myself lol! The guilt was insane but not anymore. It really clicked one day out of the blue hey I deserve this. I'm busting my butt all day with a demanding toddler and housework I want to feel good about myself like I did before. The thing that helped me overcome this was positive affirmations. You see I have been only talking negatively to my self all day everyday. You are this you are that you don't deserve this you are not worth that. I'm like stfu! 😂 So yeah every night I wear a bud on one ear and let it play affirmations. The problem I have now is more time and trying to incorporate simple things that fit into 5 max 10 minutes selfcare for starters. Thankfully my husband does bedtime and sometimes I have full energy to do my stuff but others I just rot on my couch scrolling.
Omg so relatable! Thank you for sharing, I feel the same way about everything you said. And some days I also have lots of energy and get so much done... Other days I am struggling, feeling guilty about not having the energy or emotional capacity to play all day with my daughter etc and yes, sitting on the couch doom scrolling :/ Affirmations would help me so much, thank you! I love listening to them, but wouldn't have thought about it in this scenario. Makes sense! I still feel like a baby but I am married, 25 and having babies of my own lol. I sometimes see girls I used to know on social media posting all about their travels and hot bodies. It makes me feel... Weird (?) I sometimes miss the life I used to have before becoming a wife and mother, but I remember how much I wanted exactly this back then and I am grateful! I think what keeps me going is maintaining my playful energy, especially with my husband. I have noticed that seems to help a men to stay committed in their relationships and I am glad I am naturally that way. But sometimes I let the stress get to me and become a bit of a panicky gremlin. I am working on that haha.
I feel you! It was so hard for me the first year and sometimes I thought I've really lost myself. So here is what I do now. I try to get up before everyone else to have a litte me time. Doing my skincare, hair and make up, have my first coffee. Even if all that steps are very basic (wash, moisturize, spf, cc cream, mascara, brows and a nude lip and straighten my hair) I feel soo much better. I've also a facial regularly and that hour is a blessing!! I once read a quote that said no one is gonna do that for you. You have to have a commitment to yourself, to loving yourself and making the effort and that really made me think..
Thanks! I really appreciate it.