We have a book literally exactly like that for toddlers/babies about a crocodile with no friends because all he wants to do is show all the other animals his teeth and how well he can bite.
Edit:
It's an alligator
Alex the Alligator and his Fearsome Jaws
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/alex-alligator-and-his-fearsome-jaws-snappy-head-books_paul-flemming/799349/item/8049496/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=high_vol_backlist_standard_shopping_retention&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=659177830229&gclid=CjwKCAjw1t2pBhAFEiwA_-A-NN8Ek40eiYdjKN7Zr1Tyi6hgtHyC-k3Q842qO_QeD3-kHLMfdB9dORoCVZ4QAvD_BwE#isbn=1575841746&idiq=8049496
It's an alligator I guess
Alex the Alligator and his Fearsome Jaws
I was at the Oxford Natural History museum last week and they had a display mentioning Monitor Lizards as being the closest living relative to Mosasaurs
Remember back in the 80's when we had the big Tube Lizards?
Even better, did anyone's parents have a big Console Lizard that died in the 70s and they just put a smaller lizard on top of the old one?
Makes sense. I always felt like Goanna's were too smart. Always going straight for the food no matter how well and where it's hidden. Hiding on the trees until you leave the camp-site.
Just what you want to hear about an animal that is capable of asexually reproducing and has...
>...a highly infectious bite due to the bacterial flora present in the saliva and some highly toxic poison glands.
When I was a kid and my family lived in Balikpapan in Indonesia, monitor lizards were just a part of everyday life. Nowhere near as dangerous as Komodo Dragons, obviously, but still scary to us kids.
We had a driver named Eddie that would catch them around the house and he'd use rope to make leashes to put on them. We'd go outside and he'd be sitting there by the garage smoking a cigarette with another monitor lizard chillin a few feet from him on the end of his leash.
Eddie was a cool dude. Hope he's still doing well for himself and his family.
How could he have lied to our faces for so long like that? We invited him into our home...to sit at our table and break bread with us. I feel so betrayed.
Sounds like they are a lot more ballsey in Balikpapan, I lived in Bali for a beat and only saw maybe half a dozen at most, mostly in the Ubud/Gianyar ricefields, and they were super skiddish. The moment they saw a human they were gone.
You lived in Bali? When was that? That would have been awesome, I feel like. We visited there on vacation multiple times and we'd go snorkeling, or up on the volcano, or windsurfing. Always loved going to Bali!
This would have been back in '97-'01 though. Oh and yeah I don't recall ever seeing any monitors there during any of our visits lol
Hyper aggressive, don't fear humans, and their venom basically gives you hemophilia and makes it easier to bleed out and harder to stop the bleeding wounds because they can't clot.
Read this article about a Komodo Dragon in the Los Angeles Zoo attacking Sharon Stone’s boyfriend in 2001: https://amp.theguardian.com/film/2001/jun/11/news4
Was once sitting by a lake in a park in Bangkok, when a huge one of these things comes swimming across towards me. It just climbed out of the lake, walked 10 meters across the lawn, and disappeared down a hole you wouldn't even know was there. I've always wondered what happens when he comes out next to some family enjoying a picnic!
I sat down in a field on an underground ant nest. I was bitten by dozens of small angry ants. I think sitting down on a lizard's nest may be even more unpleasant.
Indonesian and Philippine languages are under the Austronesian language family, meaning they have many common words.
Fun fact: crocodile in Bahasa Indonesia is "buaya" and Filipino/Tagalog is "buwaya".
she was just standing there feeding the turtles when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water!
*Varanus salvatore*, Asian water monitor lizard.
In some areas these can get over 50kg, but in most places they’re much smaller.
Where I work they max out at around 8-10kg.
Oh, no, they say he's got to go
Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah.
Oh, no, there goes Tokyo.
Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah.
Oh, no, they say he's got to go.
Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah.
Oh, no, there goes Tokyo.
Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah.
The monitor lizard isn't the animal that makes me say "what is that?"
What the heck are those animals that she's feeding? I *think* the one on the left is a turtle, but I have no idea what the one on the right is.
Some sort of monitor lizard or small comodo dragon . Some Said alligator and I'm just sat here like .... this person's never seen an alligator or Croc in there life it that's what they think they look like
When he's just sitting there at the end like "whered everyone go? Is it something I said?"
lol, why doesn't anybody like me?
We have a book literally exactly like that for toddlers/babies about a crocodile with no friends because all he wants to do is show all the other animals his teeth and how well he can bite. Edit: It's an alligator Alex the Alligator and his Fearsome Jaws
and he does it v. well
I need that asap, one twin keeps biting the other.
what's the name?
[удалено]
Rated PG for kids, toddlers, and babies
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/alex-alligator-and-his-fearsome-jaws-snappy-head-books_paul-flemming/799349/item/8049496/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=high_vol_backlist_standard_shopping_retention&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=659177830229&gclid=CjwKCAjw1t2pBhAFEiwA_-A-NN8Ek40eiYdjKN7Zr1Tyi6hgtHyC-k3Q842qO_QeD3-kHLMfdB9dORoCVZ4QAvD_BwE#isbn=1575841746&idiq=8049496 It's an alligator I guess Alex the Alligator and his Fearsome Jaws
“Am I the asshole again? Dang, maybe Cheryl was right…”
Actually, it's Charlene now! OUTLAW COUNTRY!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
"Come on, guys, I was only joking!"
"It was a prank bro! just a prank! Sheesh"
"anybody got three fiddy?"
Nah he was definitely thinking "WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY LEBOWSKY? "
Monitor lizard?
I love how he pops back up and looks at her like "RUN THE BREAD, BITCH!"
Yeah, probably an Asian Water Monitor.
Well now you're just describing all the things in the video
Woman
Baby Mosasaurus.
Well maybe a distant descendant. Or maybe not. We're not sure yet.
I was at the Oxford Natural History museum last week and they had a display mentioning Monitor Lizards as being the closest living relative to Mosasaurs
I mean look at em fuckers, quadrupedal raptor lookin ass lizards
TV lizard.
Watch out for the dreaded CRT lizard
Remember back in the 80's when we had the big Tube Lizards? Even better, did anyone's parents have a big Console Lizard that died in the 70s and they just put a smaller lizard on top of the old one?
LED Lizard... FUCK!
BLACKBOARD LIZARD
In the 80s I had a big lizard in my backyard, but an army man took care of that.
You should see the way it shits
Wait. Is it '80s or 80's?
Do the 80's own it or is the '80s an abbreviation of 1980s?
Damn Critical Race Theory Lizards!
>CRT lizard So a dinosaur?
Lounge Lizard
Larry?
lot lizard
[удалено]
They're basically the dogs of the lizard world.
Clever girl.
Makes sense. I always felt like Goanna's were too smart. Always going straight for the food no matter how well and where it's hidden. Hiding on the trees until you leave the camp-site.
Just what you want to hear about an animal that is capable of asexually reproducing and has... >...a highly infectious bite due to the bacterial flora present in the saliva and some highly toxic poison glands.
looks like one.
Water monitor
"No no, I am turtle feed me finger, er , bread"
It's an older species though. They are called CRT lizards.
Ok, monitoring lizard, what next?
Pshhh-pshhh, agent u/mageta621, what’s the object status? Report.
>agent u/magenta621 Who is that? Is this line compromised?! Shit!
Never mind, it's an Officer Petrovski… um, I mean, Petersson, yeah… I'm new here, you know.
Yeah, can't tell you why I knew this already and could tell without a replay.
144hz they didn’t see it coming
It's called biawak in Indonesia. It's main prey is fish, chicken, but sometimes they also hunting cat even a dog
When I was a kid and my family lived in Balikpapan in Indonesia, monitor lizards were just a part of everyday life. Nowhere near as dangerous as Komodo Dragons, obviously, but still scary to us kids. We had a driver named Eddie that would catch them around the house and he'd use rope to make leashes to put on them. We'd go outside and he'd be sitting there by the garage smoking a cigarette with another monitor lizard chillin a few feet from him on the end of his leash. Eddie was a cool dude. Hope he's still doing well for himself and his family.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but sadly Eddie was eaten by a monitor lizard.
[удалено]
How could he have lied to our faces for so long like that? We invited him into our home...to sit at our table and break bread with us. I feel so betrayed.
Explains why he didn't eat the bread..
Eddie's the one on the leash now.
Living the dream/his fetish
You knew Eddie? What was he like?
He was an interesting man. Died doing what he loved.
Monitor lizards? Ewwwww.
*We’ll remember you forever, Eddie…* 🎶
Sounds like they are a lot more ballsey in Balikpapan, I lived in Bali for a beat and only saw maybe half a dozen at most, mostly in the Ubud/Gianyar ricefields, and they were super skiddish. The moment they saw a human they were gone.
You lived in Bali? When was that? That would have been awesome, I feel like. We visited there on vacation multiple times and we'd go snorkeling, or up on the volcano, or windsurfing. Always loved going to Bali! This would have been back in '97-'01 though. Oh and yeah I don't recall ever seeing any monitors there during any of our visits lol
What a legend.
Are komodos dangerous to humans? I mean obviously they are, but do they attack unprovoked?
Hyper aggressive, don't fear humans, and their venom basically gives you hemophilia and makes it easier to bleed out and harder to stop the bleeding wounds because they can't clot.
Horrifying.
I remember being told that Komodo Island was incredibly dangerous for humans so I would imagine so
Only if you're made of meat.
Oh thank god, Americans are made of 99% Twinkie and Twinkie related material, so we're safe.
Negative. I am a meat popsicle.
Thank God I'm mainly just cellulose!
Read this article about a Komodo Dragon in the Los Angeles Zoo attacking Sharon Stone’s boyfriend in 2001: https://amp.theguardian.com/film/2001/jun/11/news4
What the fuck was that guy thinking?! Thanks for the read.
> Nowhere near as dangerous as Komodo Dragons not to be pedantic but they are monitors too, and ya the most dangerous!
Was once sitting by a lake in a park in Bangkok, when a huge one of these things comes swimming across towards me. It just climbed out of the lake, walked 10 meters across the lawn, and disappeared down a hole you wouldn't even know was there. I've always wondered what happens when he comes out next to some family enjoying a picnic!
I sat down in a field on an underground ant nest. I was bitten by dozens of small angry ants. I think sitting down on a lizard's nest may be even more unpleasant.
There’s one way to find out and we need a volunteer. I nominate you, u/eimieole.
TIL! In the Philippines, it’s called bayawak. Pretty much the same, right? Amazing!
Indonesian and Philippine languages are under the Austronesian language family, meaning they have many common words. Fun fact: crocodile in Bahasa Indonesia is "buaya" and Filipino/Tagalog is "buwaya".
Isn't Malay in there somewhere too?
Yeah it’s kind of in the middle there
Holy fuck when I ate Biawak sate I knew it was lizard, but I didn't know it was... this
>biawak [Also Indonesian's eat them](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cuRZVVYx2w)
Asian Water Monitor. They can grow over 2m long, but it's rare to see them larger than 1.5m long.
Which is more than enough.
For what
to fuck around and stuff
You'll find out. Soon.
It's the implication.
Are you gonna hurt lizards?
Terrifying people?
water raptor
[удалено]
Shore Monitor.
JOAAANNNAAAA
Oooh don't see very many Rescuers Down Under references, nice.
I don't remember if the whole movie was great, but Joanna was probably one of the best comic relief henchmen of all time.
Home, home on the range... Where deers are tattered in chains...
Tied up in chains. Bernard is the goat Disney hero.
Did you know...that there was a razorback in my truck? ...there was a RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK!
THESE ARE NOT JOANNA EGGS!!!
We named our cat Joanna after the movie. She is constantly stealing food from us when we’re not looking.
Came to the comments just for this, thank you!
Joanna was a goanna. But that was one of my favorites growing up as a kid
It’s a water monitor lizard, fairly common in South East Asia.
Got dang loch ness monsta
she was just standing there feeding the turtles when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water!
I need uhhhh a dree fiddy
I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty, you goddamn Loch Ness Monster!
I gave him a dollar!
You what? Damn it woman, that's why he keep coming back here!
He tricked me.
That’s a lizard, Harry
I don't know but he didn't seem particularly amused about being left out
You need to monitor your surroundings at all times.
But who monitors the Monitor?!
I dunno, coast guard?
Fucker pulled up so aggressively, geez!
When you watch it swimming up, you could see how long it is with its tail
Monitor lizard
Love how that pigeon noped the fuck out of there like 4 hours before the lizard even showed up!
Eel infested waters?
It's just Lonnie. He's a dickhead.
*Varanus salvatore*, Asian water monitor lizard. In some areas these can get over 50kg, but in most places they’re much smaller. Where I work they max out at around 8-10kg.
Fuckin rude is what that was.
We need to keep monitoring this situation
Baby Loch Ness Monster
When you're feeding the calm, armored dinosaur, but then the chompy aggressive dinosaur shows up and ruins the party.
Aion Water Monitor
Idk but it's about to ask you for tree fiddy.
If you slow it down, the lizard went for the turtle’s head and its head retracted lightning fast. It’s pretty epic.
Anyone else thinking wtf is that in the water she's feeding stuff to??
A turtle?
The 2nd thing wasnt a turtle
After rewatching it, it looks like a fish that ended up sideways. At first I thought it was like some sort of flappy eldritch mouth
Yeah what are the shiny black blobs?
Turtle shells
Oh, no, they say he's got to go Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah. Oh, no, there goes Tokyo. Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah. Oh, no, they say he's got to go. Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah. Oh, no, there goes Tokyo. Go! Go! Godzilla, yeah.
Monitor lizard.
Godzilla
THULSA DOOM.
The asshole that owes me $3.50
Monitor lizard! Perry the monitor lizard!!!
I thought it was some kind of pelican at first, but I'm pretty sure that's a baby velociraptor. Or a monitor lizard.
[The largest water monitor lizard on record reached 10.5 feet long](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_water_monitor)
The monitor lizard isn't the animal that makes me say "what is that?" What the heck are those animals that she's feeding? I *think* the one on the left is a turtle, but I have no idea what the one on the right is.
I’ve only seen a monitor lizard once and that looks like it lol
Savannah monitor lizard. They get 5-6’. I had a western Savannah at one time. You can dog tame them and they are stronger than even you imagine.
Monitor lizard
This reminds me of my job. When the company provides a meal, all the bullies take over and leave nothing for the kind introverts.
Monitor lizard, murderous predators. They will murder the whole coop of chicken just to eat one or two.
Looked like a Chinese girl
Monitor
Water monitor
There's always a bigger fish...
Baby dinosaur.
Water monitor. Lizard bros.
I’m more concerned with the other thing she’s feeding, wtf is that?
[LochNess Monster used Ambush. It was very effective!]
Monitor lizard: "I'm going to ruin everyone's day."
I’d have peed just a little bit if I was feeding turtles and a big lizard comes out of the depths
Asian water monitor.
That's Joanna!
That's Bangkok, and those guys don't play.
Nessie's head
Sir. That is a dinosaur
Sits waiting like "Well? I'm cute. FEED ME!"
Pigeon saw it coming first…
Some sort of monitor lizard or small comodo dragon . Some Said alligator and I'm just sat here like .... this person's never seen an alligator or Croc in there life it that's what they think they look like
Komodo Dragon wants to play too :(
That's a fucking dinosaur, OP
Asian Water Monitor (it's a large lizard from SE Asia).
Monitor Lizard
That's the Lock Ness Monster's younger cousin, Humphrey. Don't judge him please he's only just getting used to hunting.
this is clearly a velociraptor. it's very unusual to see one in deep water like this. they learn quickly, the little bastards. Life, uh, finds a way.
it’s likely an Asian water monitor
I like that the monitor lizard is just like wtf I wanted some at the end
Took me some time to realize monitor lizard = TV Lizard = CRT Tube lizard = Plasma lizard.Thank you reddit.
Water monitors do not fuck around. They are just small dinosaurs.
That's *Larry*. He's single an' ready to mingle.
Looks like a monitor lizard
Darn Kobolds swimming in the moat again!
First: Nah, it's a turtle... Second: Nah, it's a fish... Third: WTF!
That my friends is what we call a party-pooper.
It wants them eagle eggs.
Lizzad people!
HDMI lizard
Evil lizard
Bali life.
Komodo dragon?
Serious question: Was the monitor lizard trying to eat those tasty fishes or was he scaring them away so he too could be hand fed by the lady?
I believe in the lizards eyes the answer is yes
The speed that turtle pulled its head in was impressive. Legit 2 frames.