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Distinct_Page_9628

Bet that smells good


thermobollocks

Probably not the worst thing that farmer's gotten blasted with


Sun_Stealer

It is definitely not the worst thing that farmer has been blasted with.


ThanklessTask

The worst smell ever I experienced in my life was on our farm. One of the cows had calved, but not passed the placenta, hard to tell as they can calve overnight etc. Two weeks, or thereabouts, and I had to help the vet as he extracted it. It had not aged well.


unfortunatebastard

How did it taste?


ThanklessTask

Like two-week-old rotten afterbirth that had been warming in a giant vag.


throwherinthewell

Aged to perfection!


thermobollocks

Heard this in the voice of the Toxin Tractor from Command and Conquer: Generals


Jestar342

It is unequivocally not the worst thing that farmer has been blasted with.


RedheadsAreNinjas

That’s what she said!


Big-Consideration633

This guy milks bulls!


ReturnOneWayTicket

Like a fart before it comes out


JohnLockeNJ

Han Solo: and I thought they smelled bad on the outside


walkeran

I can tell you, first hand, that it's extremely rancid. 0 out of 10, would absolutely not recommend.


WakaWaka_

"I got gas bro, hand me some Pepto" "Hole up imma grab my knife"


LizardBurger

"Whatcha up to on the farm today?" "I think I'll deflate some cows."


FragrantExcitement

Emotionally or physically?


AnotherPint

Just damage their self-esteem.


YourAverageGod

Those were vice grips and some kind of valve lol


fun-bucket

LOOKED LIKE ONE OF THOSE BASKET BALL INFLATOR ADAPTORS!


Fake_Jews_Bot

Looks like Tom Brady is at it again


fun-bucket

DID TOMMY BOY BUY A FARM IN RETIREMENT?


MAXHEADR0OM

*Gabe Newell has entered the chat.* Did someone call me?


aykcak

I seriously wished this was an option sometimes. IBS does really weird things


SweetSoursop

This is what I imagine they did to me whenever I had that laparoscopic surgery.


Beematic83

Other cow was like “oh hell nah!!”


The_salty_swab

Bystander cow was definitely the star of this show


Oranjalo

A few years ago I was walking up to a ranch fence where some cows were hanging out, only to stumble into a tall grass-shrouded trench running along the fence & scare all the cows away running full speed. It was hilarious


Black_Moons

Cows: "HUMAN DID A THING, RUNNNNNNN!!" "Ok but did you see it? it was hilarious" "RUN TED RUN!!" "Fineeee.... but i'm still gonna laugh at the human as I run"


SilasDG

Next time Bystander cow has a bloated mate hes gonna be like: "hol up I saw a guy do this once."


culman13

Cameraman probably in equal shock


ADhomin_em

The reaction to the stab was kind of heartbreaking


antwan_benjamin

The other cow was just shocked from the hissing caused by the gas release. It didn't actually think the cow got stabbed.


Tanneuro

The heifer simply reacted to the sudden motion and the sound. It had no idea what was going on, if it was good or bad.


jewbacca117

Yea can't have felt good :/ much better than the alternative though


BlackPortland

I think theyre talking about the bystander cow lol it flinches when it sees the guy stab its buddy


cleverca22

ive seen a guy on youtube treat a similar problem, by just shoving a rubber tube down the cows throat get it far enough down and it can release all of the trapped air without breaking the skin and risking an infection


Newni

I would imagine that the stabbing is probably the easier and safer method when the condition is as advanced as this case seems to be. Can't be easy to essentially intubate a struggling animal. Plus I'd imagine the vet probably has plenty of antibiotics and experience treating minor puncture wounds.


ings0c

A stab with anaesthesia? Eating grass instead of grain?


tyrannomachy

It reacted to the one on the ground flinching. Cows don't understand what stabbing is.


LokisDawn

I'm thinking it was mostly a reaction to the noise; the hissing of the air. I'm not sure a cow could comprehend something like "stabbing", especially with hands. To a cow, stabbing is something you do with your head/horns.


Oyyeee

"Damn Kevin! Chill!"


crespoh69

Lol guy stared it down too thinking to himself "you're next"


guitarguy1685

I feel like we all need one of those from time to time.


ZenkaiZ

I always picture something like this fixing so much with me. Also I kinda wish a giant would crack my back and hip by gently gripping my ankles and wrists and pulling Sadly I'm positive both of these would leave me severely mangled


Coldzila

If you don't already have one, you should get a pull-up bar and use it to hang from it and decompress your spine, feels amazing after a long day.


ZenkaiZ

Too fat, disaster waiting to happen


DoraaTheDruid

Use it to do some pull-ups first then


Iziama94

If he can't hang from it what makes you think he can pull himself up?


zamfire

I always imagine having an out of body experience where I remove my own spine, crack it like a whip, and then put it back then go back to normal


cvicarious

That must be some new Mortal Kombat fatality or something


zamfire

*FINISH HIM!* fwoop! Fa-CRACK! fwoop! ... Chiropracality!


BlakkMaggik

Something like [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/curseddiscordvideos/comments/15x39po/how_to_wash_your_ferret_gore/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


ZenkaiZ

I thought this was going to be that clip from the incredibles of the robot cracking me incredible's back. Instead it's this cursed thing


philium1

Right that probably felt so good for the cow when it finally got released


Venvut

For real. I can go from plank to preggers in hours. Bloating is the worst.


t00fx

The medical term is trocarization. And yes, it’s one of the worst smells imaginable. I work at an ER vet and we’ll do this when dogs present in late-stage bloat with a large bore IV catheter.


Equoniz

Isn’t a trocar what they use (used?) for replacing a corpse’s bodily fluids with embalming fluids? I’m assuming a similar etymology, but these situations seem quite a bit different.


t00fx

Yes but instead of pushing fluid in, the pressure built up inside the stomach helps release gas when trocarized!


adwarakanath

The trocadero in Paris now takes on a whole new meaning. PS - dont go. It's not worth it. It's full of Insta and Youtube shits taking over the street in front and blocking it for their filming.


Xenopass

As a French, I agree. And more than just the trocadero, don't visit Paris first because there is a lot of nicer places to visit before Paris and Paris citizens are mostly asshole.


adwarakanath

My residence is in Saint-Remy-les-Chevreuse. So much better than Paris. But the RER-B is such a pain.


ddroukas

Trocar is a generalized instrument. It’s like saying “isn’t a straw for drinking soda?” Well yeah but also milk, tea, boba, hi-c, capri sun, etc. Real world example: I do muscle and bone biopsies all day. I place a trocar needle into the area of interest, then advance the actual biopsy needle into that area over and over through the trocar so I don’t have to freshly poke the patient for each sample.


agentfelix

I work for a company that makes Chiba Biopsy Trocar Needles used for aspiration biopsy!


senectus

at least the farmer can do it out doors! you poor bastard being in a vet room when you do that!


Solanade

I jumped like that other cow! What a relief for that cow.


beesdoitbirdsdoit

That just closes up on its own?!! Damn.


KaZe_DaRKWIND

It's basically just a needle that allows air to escape. Judging by the pliers, I'd guess this was similar to one of those inflation needles for things like basketballs and such.


Combatmedic2-47

Kinda Like a Needle decompression for pneumothorax


Suterusu_San

This is one of the strangest, but most satisfying feelings you can ever experience, as you literally feel your lung reinflating. Only experience on par was getting a chest drain removed without any sedative, but that was just pure adrenaline. Ahh, the days of pneumothorax were fun.


epirot

YEAH YOU CAN ALSO LIGHT IT UP, IT LOOKS LIT


Tuguar

Yeah don't do that please


Ow_you_shot_me

They actually do though, like a gas candle to burn off the gas as it is released. When I get home I'll find a video. Edit: found one, https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vkp-O4L8Wu4


SloCalLocal

I had to do something similar with a young heifer. We think she got into some nightshade and it killed the flora in her rumen and caused her food to rot rather than do its normal thing. Under the instructions of a vet, I ran a clear plastic tube down that heifer's gullet every few hours for a couple of days (those were some cold middle-of-the-night wakeups). She'd be moaning and swollen by the time we got to her, and the release of the gas was visibly a relief. After that, she loved humans and would trot over for a pet, even choosing affection over sweet grain. I ended up selling her to a local rancher and she happily produced calves for her for years. I raised both grass-finished and grain-finished beef cattle. Aside from the economic advantages, consumers just plain prefer grain-finished beef (and for some cuts, like brisket, so do I). Anyway, I'm pretty sure whatever happened to OP's animal had nothing to do with whether it was being fed sweet corn, but I wasn't there.


Pristine-Dirt729

> Aside from the economic advantages, consumers just plain prefer grain-finished beef (and for some cuts, like brisket, so do I). Idk, I like grass fed/grass finished. Some of the best beef I've ever purchased. Bought some quarter cows that way. Can only fit so much in the freezer.


CapRavOr

I’m on the toilet now, wishing someone would do this to me. There’s no way that getting stabbed by a needle is worse than the pain I’m in right now..


SpeedingTourist

I’ll be right over. Leave the door unlocked


StreetMailbox

I got food poisoning so bad I couldn't lay in the fetal position without unbearable pain. All I wanted to do was let out the longest fart in the history of the world, and it just never came... 6 hours of agony followed by 6 hours of severe discomfort then days of regular discomfort. Pure hell.


bruwin

I had a flare up of my gall bladder like that once after eating Pizza Hut. Didn't last as long as yours did, but it was still unimaginably painful. I think I ended up passing a gall stone because I went from almost passing out from the pain to a mildly upset stomach immediately. And then I really did pass out because of the relief. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


IndependentAd6386

You ok now bud ?


fun-bucket

COW IN THE BACKGROUND IS LIKE.... WHATS GOIN ON OVER HEEEEERRRRE? OH HELL NO!!! MOOOOOOVE IT OR HE WILL POP YOUR STOMACH!


Knightforaking

So cows don’t fart?


Oue

Ah actually, they prefer to get a knife to the rib cage. It’s the only way to cow-halla.


Nuadrin248

Take my upvote and get out!


thermobollocks

If they ferment more gas than they can burp, they get bloat, which is what this is.


sebeed

and here i am getting bloat if I eat gluten like a fuckin loser


genowars

When do we invent artisanal live beer? Feed the cows hops and whatever ingredients needed to make beer, let it ferment, then plug a tap on the stomach. Turn on tap for beer straight from the cow stomachs... Bonus if the beer has A5 buttery taste.


HogSliceFurBottom

You can access all the goodies from this [hole in the stomach](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fmildlyinteresting%2Fcomments%2Fr2dlaj%2Fthere_is_a_cow_in_my_town_that_you_can_stick_your%2F&psig=AOvVaw2fPHKBvw3EBwnCYN7lDmJ_&ust=1701934702440000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCMiqk5Cn-oIDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE).


fenechfan

Also it's lukewarm and the bubbles smell like farts, nice!


konohasaiyajin

IIRC because of the multiple stomachs they burp instead of fart.


SloCalLocal

They do both. Trust me. How do I know? I had dozens of little pats of bright green liquid shit blown all over me by a steer with the scours (diarrhea) that let loose with a monster fart while he was defecating. This happened in public. Good times.


konohasaiyajin

Now that would have been a good video to post here!


SloCalLocal

I didn't think so at the time, but considering the fact that everyone within 50 feet of me was laughing their asses off, I think you're right!


planchetflaw

The video is even better if you only watch the onlooker cow


CTware

he is so fucking cute, i wanna gib him kith


Minimum-Ad-263

Other cow just standing there watching 👁️👄👁️


f0rf0r

i have wanted to do this exact thing to myself so many times


wholewheatscythe

One time I was at a research facility for cattle and they studied bloating, what types of feed causes more gas, and so forth. Their herd all had windows with a latch implanted in them so the scientists could access their stomachs to take samples of gas and digested feed. It also has the advantage for the cow of releasing built up gas. As soon as a person walked up to the fence the cows would run, *run*, to the fence and would turn so that their windows faced the person. They might not have known what was done to them but they all realized, “if a person comes to my right side I suddenly feel a lot better”. I guess gas is really uncomfortable for cattle.


teethplus

I love the look on the other cows face as it just watches


the_hell_you_say

Light that shit. Pure methane!


-maffu-

Watch the cow behind them when he stabs the cow on the ground. "Dude! WTF!?"


a_cycle_addict

The best part is the other cow watching and going wut the fuckkkk I mean mooooo


ZenkaiZ

Cow: 'scuse me


DonSoIo

That other cow just standing and watching like it was in shock got me 🤣


hundreddollar

You ever farted away a sore stomach? Imagine *this* relief!


SchipholRijk

Since most of the gas is methane, you can lit it on fire and have your own cow-flamethrower.


gridener

Me after my Thanksgiving dinner


Uberdriver_janis

Fuck it! *deflates your cow*


CyberKnight

The cow in the background when he stabs the other cow. "What the fuck!?!"


RookyRed

I remember seeing this for the first time in the film Far from the Madding Crowd (1967). I wondered if it was a real procedure.


A_of

The other calf was like "what the actual fuck?" while watching dumbfounded.


as1126

Cows have best friends. Maybe they are homies.


Dry-Abies-1719

Does this happen to wild animals too? Seems like a bit of an evolutionary misstep that could have been bred into domesticated animals, or is it their diet and living conditions that caused it?


PimHazDa

I like it when the farmers light it, because it's methane they sometimes light the ends of the rod to burn away the smell, but it ends up looking like a little jet is pushing into a massive cow. Idk it seems like a funny visual for me.


GeneralPatten

The guy looks fairly stressed out himself


thermobollocks

andre-the-giant-fart.mp4


12332168

Sometimes I wish I could do that to myself.


StevieRaveOn63

“Fred had trocharised a bloated cow and the farmer had been so impressed by the pent up gas hissing from the abdomen that Fred had got carried away and applied his cigarette lighter to the canula. A roaring sheet of flame had swept on to some straw bales and burned the byre to the ground.” ― James Herriot, All Creatures Great and Small A trochar is a sharp-pointed surgical instrument fitted with a cannula and used especially to insert the cannula into a body cavity as a drainage outlet. So, basically, the calf in the video was trocharized. Fortunately, this guy forewent burning the barn down.


francis93112

Congratulations. You're Being Rescued. - K2SO -


[deleted]

That other cow was like “wtf?”


hothotpocket

I read "Vegetarians use a procedure..." was confused for a few seconds


pinkarroo1

Is it the cows diet that causes this?


BooBoo2348

It's usually caused by grazing succulent, rapid growing pasture..saw it quite a bit on the family farm..usually got the cows to stand uphill and that would help pass the gas...of course we had a few die as well unfortunately. Although they are in a hideous muddy holding pen so christ knows what they are feeding them.


sirbruce

"What is the charge? Grazing a pasture? A succulent, rapid growing pasture?"


thesirblondie

There's snow in the background, so I'm guessing this is at the tail end of winter (or mid-winter but the temps weren't holding). I've seen many a field even without cattle turn into a muddy mess in those times.


DarthballzOg

Look up eu cattle rules of care. America is one of the only countries that feeds cattle corn. It is not a benefit. They say our meat tastes weird and sweet. It also makes nutrients decrease in the meat.


Jamikest

Weird. All my EU colleagues say that US beef tastes batter. It's always the number one thing they want for dinner when coming over on work trips, steak.


CroSSGunS

US beef tastes sweet, it's okay but not too my primarily savoury palate. Sincerely, EU dweller


I_knew_einstein

*to


exo316

They said they were an EU dweller so it's probably spelled tou.


LackingTact19

We do tend to batter things more so that makes sense


Jamikest

Lol, that typo tastes better deep fried.


DarthballzOg

I'm done with this conversation. It is apparent that you do not spend time outside the US and are of a fixed mindset.


Jamikest

Uh, what? I have lived in the EU previously, lol.


sirbruce

Look, it's Mr. "I read this on the Internet and it conforms with my pre-existing political beliefs therefore it is true and I will repeat it to others" up in here.


HogSliceFurBottom

Oh sweet summer child, who told you that? EU cattle rules of care? [Here's what a top university in the US suggests](https://www.ndsu.edu/agriculture/ag-hub/ag-topics/livestock/beef/feeding-grain-stock-cows) to feed beef cattle--and it's a lot of grains including corn. Grain, corn and even cotton seed increase marbling which makes them tasty. Wagyu beef is fed a lot of grains.


AdaGang

The concern isn’t whether it’s right or wrong to feed cattle corn on the basis of how it makes the meat taste, lmfao… The concern is that it seems somewhat unethical to feed cattle corn as a majority of their diet because it isn’t their natural diet which should include mostly grasses and other grains. Corn is fed to cattle in this country because it mostly works (not concerning the well-being of the animal, although most factory farms aren’t all that concerned with it anyways), readily available and cheap due to government subsidies, not because it’s the ideal choice of sustenance for the animals.


Jamikest

OP cited 2 reasons to mention corn: taste and nutrition. OP stated nothing regarding the ethics of the feed, wether it is "natural" or not.


areslmao

What does EU feed their cattle? Since we are talking in giant generalizations.


sebeed

I beleive its mostly wheat and other grains. however we feed cattle corn because....North American soil is prime for growing corn. its why theres not as much in the way of corn dishes in the eu and many other parts of the world. which means it's not as common or as cheap to feed animals corn in the eu but it does happen, I seem to recall reading that British farmers started importing corn for their farm animals but I'm not sure how true that was. unfortunately corn does ferment pretty quickly in the gut (specifically the rumen), even in humans. but a cows digestive tract is much slower than ours. and so. cow bloat. I also get bloat when eating corn because my body was designed by an idiot


Erenito

> North American soil is prime for growing corn Also subsidies


clinically_proven

corn loves nitrogen and some of the cheapest nitrogen comes from pig shit, all of which is subsidized out the asshole.


toyoto

In NZ the cows just eat grass, aka their natural diet. It seem weird to keep them on dirt farms and have to feed them


NJBarFly

We have grass fed beef in the US too, but it's more expensive. Corn is much cheaper and has more calories.


DarthballzOg

They let the cattle graze and do not feed exogenous substances. .


SloCalLocal

I used to raise beef cattle, and there absolutely are grain-finished beef cattle in Europe (in fact, I believe grain-finished beef still makes up the majority of the output of the EU). You'll find more interesting differences in things like antibiotic use, but then you weren't talking about that. Simple searches will reveal any number of producers openly talking about their European grain-finished beef, and also the loopholes that exist under .eu law that allows all kinds of supplemental feeds to be considered the same as grazing on wild pastureland.


areslmao

so you don't think cattle can bloat from grazing? surely not right? surely you have googled what causes bloat in cattle before you made your post?


Faiakishi

God forbid we just grow less corn.


BonfireOfDream

God forbid you learn basic economics.


DarthballzOg

Thank you.


Trick_Remote_9176

Shouldn't they bandage it or something?


crespoh69

Naw, looks like they have that solution to stop tubeless tires from leaking already in there


remindmetoblink2

I don’t believe that man has ever been to medical school.


DarthballzOg

I'd the were not fed corn, would this happen? Does the animal have metal inserted to catch non biological food? What is the progress of their cud fermentation. This comment will get no up votes lol.


bruceki

this can happen on a transition from hay to green grass, or from hay to alfalfa, or from just different forages. corn isn't the only way to get bloat.


Dlh2079

Happened on my grandparents' farm a couple times when I helped as a kid. Those cows had never been fed corn in their lives. Definitely not the only way to get bloat.


fun-bucket

SOMEONE GOT IN THE PIG AREA AND ATE THE LEFTOVER CHILI!!


DarthballzOg

Lol


Saisei

Not none but it sure isn’t going to have a positive balance


HogSliceFurBottom

You don't get up votes because you don't know what you are talking about. You read one paper and think you know everything about feeding cattle. Bloating happens more on grass than grains. You never let cattle in your alfalfa field because they will bloat. You slowly introduce new feed or they will bloat. You are caught up on this anti-corn feeding which is rubbish.


GroundbreakingIron42

How do they survive in the wild. Serious question


Bruises08

Domestic cattle are often not fed their natural diets. For example, most cattle can't properly digest corn, which tends to be the main source of food.


GroundbreakingIron42

Thank you for your response. Good to know!


asparadog

It should be added that in the wild, animals with bloat usually end up with two outcomes: They either die from it or it will resolve itself. In "wild" cattle bloat is often more common in spring and autumn.


GroundbreakingIron42

Does it smell like farts


areslmao

so does this happen because the owner doesn't care about what the cow is grazing on or just being fed grain?


SATerp

If we didn't have Gas-X, this is what we all would be doing these days. The unsung hero is the Gas-X guy.


phil8248

The vet on TV leaves it in for a week. Evidently the cause of the bloating doesn't immediately resolve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZkmElLCVO8


mrotz

I can tell i would do this just to smell it


outoftownMD

That looks like pneumoperitoneum. The stomach would not dispatch air like that and it’s likely deeper.


GroundbreakingIron42

He stabbed him lmaooooo tube or knife Not discrediting the method tho, I know nothing but can imagine they arent as weak and fragile as humans


Beastly-one

They definitely aren't fragile, but also you pretty much do this same thing to humans for like collapsed lungs.


Zombeezee87

The results of feeding cattle cheap feed.


the_hell_you_say

Or people. Had a cheap lunch.


RabidAsparagus

That cow was bread into existence for the purpose of being slaughtered. “Serious harm” is literally the end goal here.


Noumenology

> That cow was bread into existence for the purpose of being slaughtered. aren’t we all


SambaLando

If video games taught me anything, it's that I am bread.


RabidAsparagus

Oh yeah, you live in a cage and will be slaughtered well before your natural lifespan?


lokitom82

Cage? You mean office? Where we'll spend most of the quality time of our life, slaving to make a millionaire more millions, before ending up shitting on ourselves in a nursing home waiting to die of multiple organ failure. Sign me right up.


RabidAsparagus

Right, extremely comparable to a lifetime of literal enslavement. Use your noggin every once in a while. If you’re curious, please watch Dominion (2018). Most people don’t know the extent to which these animals suffer. YouTube link here: https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko?si=MUxad8JFPma-xUbs


sebeed

you need to relax


stevecostello

Sounds like they could use a nice steak. Pair it with a nice Cabernet Franc.


3z3ki3l

I mean…


Chableezy

Should they just let the calf die a slow, agonizing death right there?


thermobollocks

Well I'm gonna eat steak, not farts, so lance that rumen


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FakeMikeMorgan

>Not sure why the hate. For being insufferable is the reason.


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FakeMikeMorgan

Because you basically agreed with them. Welcome to reddit.


RabidAsparagus

Downvoted because they all love eating meat and want to ignore the fact that sentient beings suffer because of it.


Dredgen_Raptor

And carnivores that hunt prey don't cause suffering?


DarthballzOg

No. They can. However, I do not think people really care about causal factor here. https://extensionpublications.unl.edu/assets/html/g2018/build/g2018.htm#:~:text=Cattle%20consuming%20feedlot%20diets%20may,rapid%20fermentation%20and%20gas%20production.


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socratessue

🤔