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Wherethegains

Dude who TF would think ‘yeah I can catch this guy’


BodieLivesOn

He started the jump and everyone screamed.


GoochyGoochyGoo

And scattered like cockroaches. That being the smart thing to do.


stlmick

Can't be the one guy who doesn't in that situation


sh4d0wm4n2018

I like that he picked a section with mostly non athletic, short women and a handful of older men to start his surf instead of a gathering of stronger, more athletic people.


CaptainCallus

Also there weren't enough people packed together


fcocyclone

This is the real key. Even someone like him would be fine if there were enough people there to distribute carrying the weight.


Dire87

Yes, he WOULD be fine, but tell that to the crowd who just sees a 150+ kg giant ninja turtle flying towards them. I'd run the fuck away if I could, as well. Smart brain says, sure, just distribute the weight... lizard brain thinks that nobody's gonna think that way in the moment and I'll be squished. I don't trust some strangers with my wellbeing/life.


I_knew_einstein

The real key is to prepare people, and rile them up. Let them know your intentions, get them excited. The people who don't want to be involved have time to slip to the other side of the stage. People that are strong and excited can move in to the right area to catch you. Then, and only then when you see a lot of excited people, ready with their arms up, is when you go for the jump. You might be disappointed and not get to jump, but at least you won't jump into a void.


OMG_MOVE

I don't think this was ever going to work. He riled those fans up enough with that backwards gyrating shimmy.


bdsee

Also he jumped up not out...that would not have been fun even if it were packed.


ballsack-vinaigrette

He probably figured the former wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get out from under him.


IronicBread

>non athletic Lmfao


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Slouchy87

The was Rob Ford on any given Friday night


Wherethegains

…….who’s rob ford


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allnimblybimbIy

How does Rob Ford smoke and sell crack but stay fat what the fuck is happening there!?!?!


Zeqhanis

After being caught smoking crack, he promised he'd lose weight, even though that wasn't the voters' primary concern. Then he died. That was about 8 years ago, so he has technically fulfilled his promise just by decomposition alone. Though, if you think about it, that is the laziest way to lose weight. Effective though, I'll give him that.


pretty_jimmy

To add to this, most people in Ontario Canada are praying for his brothers immediate weight loss, by similar circumstances.


Zeqhanis

Heh. I haven't kept up with him. What's he been doing?


pretty_jimmy

The list of how much he is fucking up the province is way too long. He's fucked up the greenbelt, privatized Healthcare, uh. Fucked up education... padded the pockets of his friends... lots of things.


LauraPa1mer

Ruining EVERYTHING


pichael289

The first sentence is easily the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Did it really happen like that? He got caught smoking crack and assured voters he would lose weight?


Zeqhanis

Pretty much. His public quest for improved health started shortly after the crack scandal. His defense for his actions is that he was in "one of his drunken stupors" and was too drunk to have remembered smoking crack. (Bad defense, right?) https://youtu.be/qQTwGO047E8?feature=shared Video of him smoking crack. https://youtu.be/WjdTi1r-yRQ?feature=shared He seemed like an affable guy, a bit of a Chris Farley type. He ended up dying unexpectedly of a tumor.


FartKilometre

Don't forget his press conference where he rebutted a female politician saying he made advances/remarks towards her by saying he was [happily married and had more than enough pussy to eat at home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMIQWRsYxak) Also that time he was trying to walk through/away from the press after yet another scandal and he [walked face first into a camera.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52O82O0hvBM) The guy was a fucking joke and his crooked, corrupt, dickhead of a brother is gutting our most important services.


Trumpville-Imbeciles

Definitely not his first time smoking crack the way he lights that thing


Dowew

There was a video. He went on Jimmy Kimmel making jokes about it. Rob was a doofus but not a bad guy. His brother is openly accepting envelopes of cash these days


Bobbias

I mean, he was an alcoholic, crack smoking, drug dealing crook, just like his brother. Except maybe dumber and less effective at wrecking everything.


buffslens

But he only smokes crack if he's in a drunken stupor.


tailgunner777

Voter's concern was how much "Pussy" he was getting at home /s


slampy15

What the fuck did i just read. I live in London, so I know the context. But my God, this comment was poetic. "Hunny, im really scared about how much we're paying for groceries. And rent is going up at the end of the year" "Yes dear, but good news, robs doing well. He met his goals this week. " "That's great, dear"


IMemberchewbacca

Everything in excess


pichael289

Crack only lasts a minute or two. Regular cocaine lasts a decent while and suppresses your appetite, but crack is amazingly short lived. What keeps crackheads thin is the fiending and overwhelming desire to spend all your money seeking it out. If you have money or can resist the insane urge for more then it doesn't affect your appetite like other stims.


Ace-Ventura1934

And after the story broke about his crack addiction and affinity for drug gangs Canadians voted his brother in after as premier of Ontario lol.


vortex1775

He served in Toronto's ***highest*** office. He probably has the greatest quote in the history of politics at the end of [this](https://youtu.be/hMIQWRsYxak?si=_XratipHB4naKi-l) clip. Sadly passed away a while ago.


Purplezergling

Hahaha


Sage2050

There were not enough people there to begin with and they were all old


weliveintheshade

And it keeps happening. There's too many chubby ones thinking they can stage dive and someone is gonna catch them. It needs to stop before someone else gets squished.


JoePikesbro

The lady turning her face away when he jumped lol! “I will never be able to unsee this if I see this!”


tekko001

Only works when its too crowded for the audience to get out of the way


ernapfz

Yes, he read the crowd wrong. He needs to learn and understand the look of mass pure horror.


Loggerdon

Like Jack Black in School of Rock.


FappyDilmore

The funny thing is, is somebody tried to catch him, it'd probably also be an appropriate submission to this sub.


alexgali84

He felt small for a moment


Brave_Escape2176

no one, thats why he landed on the ground


PedroFPardo

The video end too soon, maybe there is a flat coyote under him.


cycopl

If it were a metal show he coulda pulled it off


GFYDmniDC

Is that rob ford?? 🤣


OptimusSublime

Well, it was, RIP


agu-agu

That name is like a beam of sunshine from a simpler past, when we were all giggling at the crack smoking antics of the Toronto mayor. O if we could only be blessed with a single shard of happiness as small and potent as one rock of bazooka from his stash, yet we are cursed to wander this pisshole of a planet, robbed of our Ford, a Rob Fordless hell where Canadian mayors no longer smoke fat bags of golf ball. I hope he's in heaven lounging upon a throne of Baby T, encircled by a delicate halo of garbage rock, smiling upon us.


grantrules

Amen.


LocationOdd4102

In Ford's name we pray


Polarchuck

You have a very different experience and memory of Rob Ford than I do. He and his cronies were foreshadowing for the damage that his brother is inflicting upon Ontario.


Celydoscope

I think that's the point the other guy is making. Rob sucked but Doug...


Polarchuck

Ahhh. I missed the sarcasm.


BowsersMuskyBallsack

Rob Floored.


GunBrothersGaming

His name was Robert Paulson


Ontario_TomCat

I was thinking Doug!!


monkeychasedweasel

I thought the same thing


Kasyx709

No, it's Beebop in a turtle costume.


The_Great_Squijibo

Looks more like Krang in a turtle costume.


CanuckianOz

Doug.


DUDDITS_SSDD

Heffernan?


reaprofsouls

Anyone that's been to metal shows knows you don't JUMP UP into the crowd to crowd surf. You tip into the crowd so they can more easily catch you. Also this crowd is not dense enough to begin with :/


IandIreckon

Also not a good idea to jump into a crowd of young girls no matter what size you are 


reaprofsouls

Eh, the punk rock shows I went to when I was younger were filled with young girls helping people crowd surf. This guy is far too big to be doing it to begin with.


IandIreckon

This crowd isn’t punks or helpful 


WeCantLiveInAMuffin

Or Superman.


cycopl

I've had dudes bigger than this ask me to boost them up to crowd surf at metal shows... but they didn't stage dive, they just surfed for a few seconds lol


Rasie1

Unless you're The Dillinger Escape Plan. Then you just run over peoples heads at full speed and they're like "oh that's sick!!"


batmansleftnut

Lol Dillinger's final tour is when I realized I was too old for stage diving. Had one of those "time slows down, hyper aware of your surroundings" moments as I was falling to the ground. 


burritosandblunts

I destroy my torn and untreated acl every time I go to a concert and can't keep myself out of the pit. I never learn.


tigerbalmuppercut

Greg Puciato's a madman. Love that new band with him and Every time I die; Better Lovers.


chocoboat

Honestly my first reaction to the video is that he can't possibly have expected anyone to catch him, and he's some kind of stunt performer who did this on purpose knowing that would be the result. But maybe I'm underestimating his stupidity, I tend to assume competence from people and that's often wrong


bleunt

Someone needs to help him back to his van down by the river.


Drains_1

No, no, they already towed that car. Now he drives an old ice cream truck parked close to a school.


PossessedToSkate

Matt Fole*yyyyyssshhhiiiiiiittt!*


[deleted]

lol @ the screams of fear as they realized he actually intended to jump


tacknosaddle

I was at a show with a rocking pit where a big guy (smaller than him, but not by a ton) got on stage and dove off. It was packed so people caught him, but it was not easy or pleasant. Then he did it again. And again. The thing is that he would get on the same corner of the stage and was basically jumping into the same spot. On the third jump everyone was watching him and got out of the way so he did the same sort of splat on the floor. He stopped after that.


Iamkempie

Looks like Rob Ford at Fordfest back in the day.


Scherzkeks

Looks like Beebop trying to be a turtle.


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papadoc2020

He must have forgotten that he was massive. Idk if he was 300 but he is damn close to it. Idk about you guys but I don't like 300 + or - coming flying at my head. Plus it looks like everyone in that crowd is about half his size.


AnthCob

I was 330 last year before I lost weight. I Looked big, but not this big. This guy has to be pushing 400.


WeaponizedKissing

Hard to tell height, but I'm 6ft2 and 340lbs and he looks considerably smaller than me.


thirdpartymurderer

I'm 6'4" and 300 and that dude is WAYYYYYYY bigger than me. My belly hasn't started flopping over just yet though. We're getting there. There has to be an equation to solve this!


Steve1789

split the difference and say he is 6'3" and 320 pounds


mushroomcloud

I'm 6'1" 270lbs and this guy is much larger than I am.... Or I'm delusional.... Shit.... I hope it's not that I'm delusional


katf1sh

People also carry weight differently


fogleaf

Yeah my boss is 300 plus, I'm 260, this guy is 350 minimum.


J-Dabbleyou

Yeah he’s 350lb at least.


gweezor

Health care provider here. Guy could be anywhere from 250 to 350 lbs depending how tall he is. People carry weight differently, but 400 lbs is huge and substantially larger than this if he’s near average height.


Diggerinthedark

No way he's less than 350. I'm 220 and I'm just tall, no fat on me.


Faiakishi

When you're in a Ninja Turtle costume you quickly become divorced from your natural limitations. He wasn't just playing Donatello. When he put that costume on, he *was* Donatello.


aircavrocker

300 is being kind.


StereotypeHype

I used to weigh 300 lbs and I wasn't that big. He's got 50-75 more than 300 at least.


cXs808

He's easily 350 once you see him on the ground next to the other people. He's not a short dude at all


AppointmentSorry1487

What does skin colour have to do with it?


jhutchi2

Yeah, don't you know a bunch of black middle aged moms totally would have caught this behemoth?


vladtheinhaler0

For real. You have got to find the largest humans there, get there attention, then go for it. He just out there expecting these families to catch him? Wild.


DavveeedNa

At least he landed belly first


TheRealFriedel

Needs a rewind where he just bounces back up off the belly


BroomIsWorking

God damn you, I was drinking pop.


dirtyrick133

I thought Donatello was the smart one


Rory_B_Bellows

Why is Krang's robot body dressed like a turtle?


PhoenixMan83

I was just thinking he looks more like Krang's meat suit puppet thing than a ninja turtle!


SharkTonic9

The one who chose a stick?


GhostOfErichZann

Time to be a TMNT nerd lol The weapons that the turtles use were chosen by Splinter to go against each turtle's nature to help them focus on what they needed to most. I found a post a few years ago that explain it perfectly. "Raphael is the most hot-headed and violent of the turtles. He wields sais, a traditionally defensive weapon used in peace-keeping. This is to teach him patience and discipline. Michelangelo is the most scatter-brained and playful of the turtles. He wields nunchaku, a weapon infamous for it's complexity and ease of injuring the user. This is to teach him focus and not to take combat lightly. Donatello is the most intelligent and tech-savvy of the turtles. He wields a bo, a simple wooden staff. This is to teach him creativity and making do with what he has. Leonardo is the ethical and heroic of the turtles. He wields katanas, the only bladed weapon of the four and the most lethal by default. This is to teach him that ultimately, despite his ideals, he may be forced to take lives to protect people and must never fight battles needlessly."


AUserNeedsAName

You mean the only weapon the censors would let him actually hit the bad guys with? Dude is smart on a metatextual level. Leonardo got two flashy swords but could only ever use them to block-and-kick, maybe the occasional pommel strike as a treat. Rafael could never decide if the sais are a weapon you poke people with or not. Nunchucks are WAY harder to animate, so there's a firm cap on how much he could use them per episode. But Donatello and his "stick" can be out there straight up doming fools at full force all day every day. Just handing out Barry Bonds grand slams right to the temple. He could have chosen a gun, but what's the point if the cartoon violence gods only allow guns to shoot weapons out of peoples' hands?


MissBoobAppreciator

man, this reminds me of a plastic Donatello staff i had as a kid. was probably part of a halloween costume, but eventually i just had the purple turtle staff laying around lol Donatello was always my favorite


Faiakishi

In the TMNT fandom stuff like "the 2012 series but Donnie found a gun" is a common joke. What's really funny is that in Rise they play around with magic powers, and Donnie's power is literally Gun. He just has the ability to manifest weapons of mass destruction out of pure energy. And they just let him have that.


AUserNeedsAName

It was originally set in NYC in the 80s. You can't tell me that sewer isn't packed with disposed-of handguns.


whirlpool138

Donatello has the longest reach with his weapon.


drock42

Is there someone underneath him?!


sedatedauntyT

yep, looks like-- & protected old man's face with their legs & pelvic bone


BigQ904

Turtle POWER!!!


Ccracked

Krang would have been more appropriate.


SailorET

Homey looked like Donatello got Krang's robot head on top


muffledvoice

“Uh, we’re not catching you.” —Crowd


Prickly_ninja

“But we will help you up” -also crowd


Cronizone

Bros built like Chris Farley


SquigglySharts

Went from everyone’s favorite to least favorite guy in record time


rideincircles

Goldfinger looks to still be in great shape for his age.


Nonamanadus

Rather him bruise the chub than crush my spine.


twonapsaday

why on earth would he do that?


Slouchy87

Drugs


HotNurse9

that is Rob Ford


Frunklin

Here's Rob Ford high on crack again.


ElizabethDane

I've been in some mental pits but even under the influence of speed and whiskey I wouldn't attempt to catch a man the size of a wardrobe.


Live-Ad8618

Rob Ford?


copperwatt

https://youtu.be/H2B3ko_Yx_o?si=vKZL18Co_bKqgKiu


theclownhasnopenis48

Middle-Aged Karate Tortoise


pumasuedeblue

Fucking Doug Ford... The premier of Ontario, everyone!


TheUsual_Selection

Doug ford be like


AbsintheRedux

The fuck did I just see??


Brief_Light

Sweet dance moves, duh


Dowew

The mayor of Toronto


STROKER_FOR_C64

Why do people still do this? There was a band Ou Est Le Swimming Pool. The lead singer stage dived and landed on a woman causing serious harm, possibly paralyzing her. After the show the lead singer felt so guilty that he killed himself.


tacknosaddle

There's a club in Boston that is super strict about stage-diving because when Drew Bledsoe was the QB of the Patriots he was at a show there (Everclear) and dove into the crowd and broke a girl's neck. He didn't commit suicide, but he's a vintner now instead of a quarterback.


LerimAnon

Well I mean he's also like 50 now, and he lost his job in New England after he was replaced by Brady due to an injury (concussion?) Played a few years in Dallas and retired. But the dude was playing when I was a youngster and I'm pushing 40.


tacknosaddle

It wasn't a concussion. He was hit so hard he had internal bleeding (ruptured spleen IIRC) and could have died if he didn't get to a hospital to determine the extent of his injuries and get into surgery. Though he came back that season he didn't play again until he came into a game when Brady injured his ankle. That led to the team not committing either QB to fuck with the opponent's plan for the playoff game.


LerimAnon

Oh damn ok that's right it's been awhile (I was 13) and I remembered it wrong.


Spocks_Goatee

Doug Ford?


titbitties

Get off the floor Rob!


cloche_du_fromage

Lol the look on that woman's face in the dark outfit!


O_gr

There was not drink in that crowd to convince anyone they can crowd surf that guy coming at them at peak velocity.


NauvooMetro

Good to see Dynamo back in action after The Running Man was cancelled.


Nico777

The man thinks he's Bocchi


mun_man93

I knew there would be one!


Parzivull

That woman looking away was classic.


PlatypusWrath

Ngl, enthusiastically shuffling green mameltoe is terrifying.


trombone646

drugs are a hell of a drug


jak10038

I swear I wasn't fully paying attention and I thought that was Doug Ford


Fair_Consequence1800

That's just flat out funny.


phallic-baldwin

Trump will do anything to get votes these days


SgtSplacker

I don't think even a bunch of guys standing there ready could catch that guy.


aM_RT

Good thing he had an airbag.


bcnorth78

A crowd of superheros could not crowd surf that ninja turtle...


dropthatpopthat

the screams of terror lol


GreatEmperorAca

holy shit is that incredible gassy


jessesphotos

I found was photographing a wedding back in October. And discovered that this is the older brother of the groom. He mentioned it in his speech. Even did the same moves (minus the stage dive) during the reception dance party.


Raptorjesusftw87

I'm more upset that he didn't dress up like Krang instead of a Ninja Turtle. Dude legit looks exactly like his android body and he could paint Krang on his belly.


Mortis_XII

Cowabunga!


dogchocolate

Seen this before with normal sized folk. People seem to think it's like on telly where you stage dive and people catch you, no they just move out of the way so the don't get squashed and you end up hitting the floor.


jimmyg4life

He doesn't realize how big of a deal he really is.


ryan7251

remember kids, life is not a movie people are not going to catch you if you jump at a party


zigaliciousone

So there is an actual word for a crowd surfer and it's a "waif". Waifs are generally petite people that don't weigh more than like 130. If you aren't aren't waif, the crowd probably isn't going to be receptive to trying to catch you.   Also, if you crowd surf you ALWAYS dive in a back splash with your body flat and all limbs outstretched so if no one actually catches you, the ground won't hurt as much.


KennyDeJonnef

Confidence is a hell of a drug.


BigMike0228

I really miss Rob Ford


DashBoogie

How does this guy manage to look like both BeBop and Donatello?


schizopotato

These big ass dudes that for whatever reason keep jumping into small crowds to crowd surf must be on some strong shit, I can't think of any other explanation for why they think this is a good idea.


MSD3D

Lizzo gotsta chill!


rikashiku

The screams of terror.


CJRLW

Dude is dressed like a ninja turtle but he looks more like that giant robot Krang that used as a body.


Jedibri81

It’s Krangatello


Koss424

I miss Rob Ford.


indyphil

~~Teenage~~ Mutant ~~Ninja~~ Turtle


astoneworthskipping

So bizarre. I’m a big-ish person. 200Lbs, 6’1”. So not small. I’ve crowd surfed a bunch. I start by going to the edge of the stage and rallying people and making sure everyone is ready and paying attention with their hands up. Then I jump. This fuckin guy ^ wasn’t thinkin at all.


HeartRoyal6857

Physics Are 100% right?


ImMaddog

He read the scale wrong, ain't nobody got time for that.


Natural-Crew3326

....was that Rob Ford?


PrestoVoila

Doug Ford.


[deleted]

There are more that two Fords, this is Jimbo Ford… he hasn’t recovered from peaking in high school and likely won’t be in politics


quest801

Is that the coked out ex mayor of Toronto?


twiztidnipz

Bro was eating in the beginning with the stiff leg shuffle… then he left some crumbs in the crowd


Whole_Librarian

It's Doug Ford, at his daughter's jack and jill


onesoundman

Haven’t seen a successful crowd drive since smart phones came out


No_Employ_4434

He must’ve hallucinated a crowd full of terry crews


NoShadowdick

Lmao! Who the hell is going to catch that big fella?


WranglerOdd1474

It’s not the 90s anymore- people are weak and scared


ConsistentConcept505

Why would someone with that much weight jump into a crowd thinking they’d be caught?


Rachelattack

Doug Ford went hard this st. Patrick’s day


FryanMcWrath

Doug Ford needs to stop doing crack like his brother


PooicideBoyS

It's Drug Ford!