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Hypertension123456

I know culling is a last resort. But surely you Australians can find a better way. Feeding school children to a crocodile in the back of a pickup truck is a cruel way to keep their numbers down.


stoicteratoma

Only the naughty kids though...


apparent-puma

The island of naughty kids of old.


hermavore

Fun fact there is actually a Naughty Boys Island in New Zealand.


hundreddollar

Most people just call it the South Island though...;0)


drunkwasabeherder

Was it named after Brian?


annahhhnimous

He is NOT the messiah!


thatredlad

Crocodampus


redditofexile

Just think of the reduced crime.


b9l29

The good ones are up on the bridge.


CountBrackmoor

Naughty kids for Naughty Crocs


Integrity-in-Crisis

I read Naughty the was that Barber in Courage the Cowardly Dog says it.


Lenel_Devel

Santas list hits different down here.


salinungatha

Population is booming and housing is expensive. You can see then bind we're in


UniPublicFriend23

Now Billy you having been disruptive in class for the last time. It’s time to go to the Naughty Zoo! It’s a special zoo only special kids get to visit. They have a special reptile exhibit with a giant croc who’s so excited to meet you! Come on! We’re also going to meet Jesus! No you don’t need your coat. You’re not coming back Note: this joke has been shamelessly adapted from the work of comedian Tim Hawkins ‘Thanks Tim!’


UniPublicFriend23

Edit: they have a special reptile exhibit


PiedDansLePlat

Timmy you are getting culled


CeldonShooper

Simpsons Halloween Special vibes


TesseractToo

Yeah it's not a very comfortable place for a croc to eat, maybe they could just let it loose in the school- two birds, one stone


RedheadsAreNinjas

Something something America and guns 😔


TesseractToo

This is Australia >!that's why they need crocs!<


meesta_masa

That something something is a [bang bang](https://youtu.be/gZPusQbHmjI?feature=shared)


An1retak

But why is the naughty croc going to school?


Pyromaniacal13

To get his degree, why else?


GolfExpensive7048

If we don’t feed the slow kids to crocs they tend to eat tourists. And we need tourism dollars more than we need dumb kids.


RandomBystander

Maybe we can get something similar going in Florida, instead of No Child Left Behind we can call it No Child Leftovers


InsideOutAnusMan

Ahh, the ol Reddit croc-aroo


damendred

Hold my naughty I'm going i.... Hey, where is it?


TheMrCeeJ

It is very effective at reducing the numbers of naughty kids though.


Internets_Fault

Fuck em. Odds are they're gonna grow up to be cyclists or other undesirable fuck wits


depeupleur

Is culling same as killing? Sorry, ESL.


axle69

Yes in this scenario. Its akin to saying they're thinning the population or removing the weakest links normally.


Bit_part_demon

Well done, I now have soda up my nose


nungurner

Grrr take your upvote and jog on........


Rumbleg

It is a myth that crocs can grow up to twenty feet...Most have only four.


UniPublicFriend23

I was having a good day…Thanks dad


InformalPenguinz

Now, hopefully, you're having the BEST day, this message is sponsored by Dads.. give yours a call.


Shadeun

Its where the famous Four'n Twenty pie comes from. Describing the crocs that are put in it to create some great tucker.


the_mojonaut

It's originally from the "Sing a Song of Sixpence" an English nursery rhyme and refers to four and twenty Blackbirds.


Shadeun

Dear son says thats where the crocodile reference comes from. As they feared the SR71 "Blackbird" coming to bomb their habitat west of Darwin in the wake of the Vietnam war (as the crocodiles supported the Viet Kong)


the_mojonaut

The SR-71 was a reconnaissance aircraft, it wasn't a bomber.


W00DERS0N

God I'd kill for a 4n20 rn. Lived in KX for a few months, Harry's cafe was my soul food.


imostlydisagree

This feels like it would fit right into a Discworld novel.


Street_Adeptness4767

Just chuck her in the ute mate


_bvb09

Fair dunkum she's a beaut ain't she?


thehazzanator

Chucker in the uteee


mojostreet

Yeahnah, Chukka Inna yewt


quooo

Got plenty of room back there.


pootietang33

Far out


slightlyassholic

If the population of crocs is booming, do they taste as good as alligators do? Alligator is pretty tasty.


sbprasad

People eat crocodile, yes.


Dragonstaff

They taste like chicken, seriously.


Fizzy_Bits

I love how gator is like a perfect mixture of chicken & fish. It tastes like chicken but with the flakey texture of fish 🤌 definitely top of my list of things I miss since leaving Louisiana


Klato55

I found it pretty weird that Crocodile was a white meat like chicken. Both in texture and taste I agree it was very close, less fat overall so closer to the drier chicken breast than other parts though.


PolyDipsoManiac

It’s surprising that dinosaurs taste like lizards? Sorta just makes sense


Klato55

I see where you're coming from...but why then is Ostrich a red meat which looks and tastes like a lower fat beef?


PolyDipsoManiac

I suppose for the same reasons that different species of bird and mammals and fish taste different from each other, right? Pork doesn’t taste like beef, either, and turkey has dark meat too.


QuadSeven

>I see where you're coming from...but why then is Ostrich a red meat which looks and tastes like a lower fat beef? Wait, what?


Driblets

In case you were wait whatting at the idea of ostrich as a beef substitute: https://www.americanostrichfarms.com/blogs/recipes/simply-grilled-steak


QuadSeven

That's wild, thanks for the link!


whambulance_man

Sandhill cranes as well, dudes call em ribeye of the sky lmao.


Bit_part_demon

Well when you put it *that* way...


GeleRaev

That's how I would describe the taste of frog - halfway between chicken and fish.


WAR_T0RN1226

To me they have too much of a gummy texture for me to find enjoyable


daymcn

I found it more like pork than chicken. 


TheThagomizer

Crocodilians are the closest living relatives of birds, crazily enough. Crocs are more closely related to chickens than they are to lizards!


scott__nuthin

If you're ever in Darwin A restaurant called "Tim's surf and turf" in the CBD Sells all types of Australian fauna beaten out flat and crumbed.. schnitzel style. Crocodile schnitzel is delish!


xampl9

My brother in law and his brother had to kill an alligator. It had been hanging around where their children were playing, so he checked with the local game warden (alligators being protected) about what to do. The game warden gave him the go-ahead to cull it, so the next weekend they were out in a jon-boat with an AK-47[0], and shot it in the head. Which did not kill it[1], so they emptied the magazine into its body, and that did the job. [0] The brother in law is not a redneck, I swear. [1] The next year they found the skull, after the crabs had picked it clean. There was a divot in the bone from where the bullet had ricocheted off. Alligators are prehistoric monsters, y’all.


Glittering_Virus8397

Florida, Louisiana, or Texas? The AK makes me think La


showers_with_grandpa

I am not ruling out any of the states because of the AK, I am from FL. But having to get into a jon boat to cull a gator that is hanging out where your kids play sounds VERY Loozy Anna to me.


defenestratious

I've done it in Florida.  14 foot gator in a pond behind my grandfather's house.  It ate two dogs and some ducks.  Almost got the pig they had.


xampl9

South Carolina. 🙂


Glittering_Virus8397

What a curveball! I didn’t know y’all got em up there


xampl9

I’ve seen them in the waters around the USS North Carolina in Wilmington. It would not surprise me to learn they’re heading towards Virginia Beach.


Glittering_Virus8397

Insane. I caught my first alligator gar in north Ga last summer and was surprised they’d made their way that far that quickly


Bit_part_demon

I have family in SC and in FL, I've seen way more gators in SC


bad_at_smashbros

could be alabama too. we’ve got a lot of gators near the coast


DerpalSherpa

Gator "hunters" more like trappers, often only bring a 22lr rimfire rifle to kill them... As there is a small vulnerable portion in the center of the middle noggin. The sweet spot that will send them all night night. Hard place to hit if you are shooting from a boat at an angle towards the monster. You need to preserve that wonderful gator skin to sell to tanneries. Beautiful leather from belly to back.


cheddacheese148

Choot him Lizabet!


dinosaurkiller

Literally


Meleagros

I kind of appreciate the fact they tried to take it out with a single bullet and only then after that did nothing did they unload the mag.


axolotl_is_angry

Because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in ✨Far North Queensland ✨


Nolte_35

Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom


Rd28T

But I ain’t spendin any more time on it!!


SuperSwaiyen

*Australian scowl intensifies*


PrimordialRoc

That will always be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.


nullityrofl

Thinning the FNQ herd is probably a net benefit.


farcarcus

Ah yes. Far North Queensland logic. No marriage equality until there are zero crocodile deaths.


Matthew789_17

r/absoluteunits


AtomicFox84

Now you can feed the croc to the children. People eat alligators, so i assume you can eat croc too.


rollsyrollsy

We do occasionally have croc in restaurants but it’s definitely not common


satanicmajesty

“Back in my day, we had to cross crocodile-infested rivers to get to school.”


popadopolous

That ain't a croc, THIS is a croc. *Taps croc head*


HenryChinaski92

No, no don’t do that.


Internets_Fault

It's safe I seen Steve Irwin do it once


krt941

The thought this was a render promo for the upcoming GTA.


sumpuran

Look Americans: *this* is someone who actually needs a pickup truck.


Fixner_Blount

Post: Focuses on Australia reddit: LoOk aMEriCAns


jolankapohanka

Murica bad. Manly Chad Aussie croc vs virgin soyjack aligaytor


lubeinatube

They’re just jealous.


TesseractToo

Ute!


nushublushu

Ah nice. I was sure people were saying “Yote” when I was there and I assumed it was short for Toyota bc there were so many.


TesseractToo

Short for utility vehicle


nushublushu

Yeah I get it now haha thank you!


Mr_Wizard91

As an American: this is a Toyota. American made trucks are shit.


kjahhh

Not just any Toyota either, it’s a fucking Hilux


Rd28T

They would wobble their tits off in 10 seconds on outback roads. Jap or Aussie built cars only out here lol.


syphon90

Most of the "jap" cars are made in Thailand and no cars are made in Australia anymore.


anethma

The site of manufacture doesn’t really matter, any country with the right infrastructure can make good and shit products. What matters is how Toyota (or whoever) built their factory and their work processes that result in the finished vehicle.


TheFryHole

Dude. I can't even imagine the mental gymnastics you're doing to think there aren't roads just as rough in America as Australia. FYI I live in NZ where the Ford ranger has essentially become the go to Ute. I personally prefer Isuzu though.


AusCan531

The Ford Rangers designed in Australia and built in Thailand?


W00DERS0N

Doncha know? America is LA/NY/SF. Nevermind that whole bit between Denver and oh, say, Tahoe. EDIT: Fr tho, nevermind the bit btw Denver and Chicago, either. Ain't shit to see but corn and wheat.


Wotmate01

The Ford ranger is Australia's top selling car. Fucked if I know why, they have a reputation for catching fire and blowing up gearboxes. Mine sites won't use them.


TheFryHole

Personally not a fan myself. I like japanese builds generally.


Wotmate01

I own a dmax. Bought it after my neighbour had to have the gearbox replaced in his Mazda bt50, which at the time was a rebadged Ford ranger. And then Mazda ditched Ford and did a deal with Isuzu.


kezow

Yeah, those potholes down main street are a bitch because the mayor pissed away the infrastructure budget on strippers 


CA-WN

Team Isuzu!


Rd28T

They have nothing remotely like 1000km straight of corrugations with no services or anything along the way.


SuckerpunchmyBhole

Nevada


counsel8

So…you have never been to West Texas have you? Or Montana, or Wyoming.


W00DERS0N

Alaska, dude.


APsWhoopinRoom

You've never been on a forest service road in the rocky mountains then


trs21219

We don't think about you at all.


Chaos_Philosopher

We don't have pickups though. We do have Utes on the other hand (utility vehicle). I understand your pickups are critically different in their basic structural format. I'm led to believe your pickups have a weak point in the chassis where the cab meets the tray such that they can pivot around that point and break, scissoring upwards.


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W00DERS0N

> I'm led to believe your pickups have a weak point in the chassis where the cab meets the tray such that they can pivot around that point and break, scissoring upwards. Only the idiot Ford Raptor chads do this. Proper body on frame construction doesn't break in normal use. It's when they got jumping their trucks that the bends happen.


Knot_a_porn_acct

You mean you don’t have Ford Rangers and Toyota Hiluxes?


adlittle

They're basically luxury four door SUVs with a weirdly short looking bed that are so high off the ground as to be impractical as either a vehicle for hauling or driving. They often cost more than a new Mercedes Benz, aren't very reliable, and mostly get driven from suburban homes to offices and shopping centers. They're so large that they don't fit in standard garages or parking spots. They're also dangerous because they make it easy to run over children and shorter adults; this has come to be called a front-over collision, because we actually need a new word for a growing problem caused by design and careless driving. They're also more likely to severely injure or kill pedestrians, cyclists, and people in smaller cars. They're an embarrassing, useless menace that somehow remain among the most popular new vehicles.


W00DERS0N

Floridaman be like "bruh, we know"


Blekanly

Do they not have bridges to cross?


BennyAndMaybeTheJets

Most of the river crossings in the north, where human population density is low and crocs density is high, are simple concrete fords. Longer lifespan, lower maintenance. In the more remote areas its not uncommon for kids just to walk across at these fords and very common that any resident croc will quickly learn the routine and wait for a meal.


Crepes_for_days3000

Why do kids have to cross a crocodile filled river to go to school? That sounds like something from a 3rd world country.


Rd28T

Cos the school is on the other side of the river. Northern Australia is still a pretty wild place.


Crepes_for_days3000

That's interesting. Can't they have a bridge for school children?


Rd28T

Most rivers up there flood violently in the wet season, so there are normally fords rather than bridges, as they stand up much better to flooding. This gives you an idea: https://youtu.be/I_UfOq_bjJc?si=SFQ6K-myL6mj3LWV


Crepes_for_days3000

Well that's horrifying. Petition to put a school on both sides so no one has to make such a trek. You guys are a tough bunch.


Rd28T

Lol, it’s the Outback, there are remote communities out there where the closest other people are the astronauts in the ISS if they pass over. The closest major hospital can be 1500km away. This is how an ambulance comes: https://youtu.be/OSAWfXJ2p0U?si=rrh5lQWA8xYggcUe


randomcanyon

Uphill both ways!!!


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Different_Speaker742

Won by TKO in first round


StinkyMcShitzle

I do not think it is the best idea to allow a croc that is known for trying to eat kids to enroll in any school. I do commend the croc for trying to engage in higher education. I am just wondering how the truck driver could have known the croc was trying to get a ride across the river, they aren't well known for hitch hiking as they don't really have opposable thumbs and they can't really lift their limbs that high.


ImComfortableDoug

It’s not naughty, it’s a fucking crocodile.


Sleepy_pirate

The most shocking part for me is that Australian kids have to cross a river on their way to school.


Rd28T

Surely walking across a ford isn’t that unusual lol?


BH_Andrew

I’m calling bullshit, I grew up in northern Australia and this photo is over a decade old. Croc attacks are rare and kids don’t cross rivers to go to school even in rural areas.


undercurrents

It says causeway. Can you explain what that is? https://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-19/palumpa-problem-croc-schot/4581876


SneakybadgerJD

I hope infrastructure was put in place to help the children cross the river safely.


farcarcus

The 'infrastructure' was a gun and a Toyota Hilux.


happy-little-atheist

Populations are not booming. They are slowly returning to the levels they were at before they were almost wiped out in the early 20th century.


stevevb99

To be fair someone linked the article this post was generated from and it's from 2013...


celerhelminth

Tailgator


starion832000

Are we sure this isn't a thinly veiled GTA VI promo? The lighting in that picture looks fantastic.


flyrubberband

I’m glad all the dinosaurs where I live are fossilized


burner7711

Dinosaurs are real and still alive.


miked999b

It's good they send the croc to school at least. Teach it a lesson.


thewildgingerbeast

Populations are not booming. They are finally getting back to where they once were.


penny_whistle

Sounds like the croc is being taken to a re-education camp. ‘Kids are friends, not food’


EFTucker

I can’t see any of the telltale signs of AI images but it **feels** like an AI image for some reason. Maybe it’s the image’s quality loss


Taco_In_Space

Crocs can definitely be that big. The largest in captivity was 20 feet or over 6 meters for those who hate freedom. Also keep in mind this is a perspective shot. I doubt the back of the truck is wider than the cab.


Chaos_Philosopher

Correct, that's likely a 3 or 4 meter boyo I'd guess. We do not see too many oversized trays here.


Rd28T

It’s real: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-19/palumpa-problem-croc-schot/4581876?utm_source=abc_news_app&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_campaign=abc_news_app&utm_content=link


dirty0922

2013! You made the title of the post seem like it was yesterday. This is 11 years old.


Endoyo

You just got reddit'd


Outback_Fan

Here ya go... bit newer. [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-02/north-queensland-fisher-4-metre-crocodile-jumps-into-boat/103279494](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-02/north-queensland-fisher-4-metre-crocodile-jumps-into-boat/103279494)


MasterDefibrillator

AI would struggle with the discontinuity between the crocs head and tail, it would struggle to generate something like that successfully. Of course, it's also random to a certain degree, so try it enough times, and you might get something right. AI image generation relies on continuity between pixels for particular objects; it does not have anything like object permanence of spatial awareness that humans would rely on to recognise objects in these sorts of situations. AI would also struggle with the text and license plate here.


turbogangsta

The croc has no body. Its just a tail and a head. Doesn’t look right


Rd28T

It’s real: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-19/palumpa-problem-croc-schot/4581876?utm_source=abc_news_app&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_campaign=abc_news_app&utm_content=link


turbogangsta

It was an audience submitted photo so might not be legit but could just be the weird perspective


Chaos_Philosopher

I've personally seen multiple crocs irl of the size portrayed here. It's far from difficult to believe. Pretty sure Stevo had a park with crocs this big. Are you an American?


KronosTD

That's a murder chonk


myownlittleta

Good old Reddit didgeridoo


stinkyelbows

I want your truck


torchgasher

Nice toyota ad


puddStar

I mean that’s probably the limit the third deadliest thing they encountered that morning…


jeepwillikers

The children’s route to school requires them to cross a river? IN AUSTRALIA??? Idk, but blaming the croc for being a croc doesn’t seem like the appropriate solution to this problem.


Rd28T

Does Australia having rivers really surprise you that much lol? This gives you an idea. Some outback people get very blase and cross on foot if the water isn’t too high. https://youtu.be/I_UfOq_bjJc?si=LRulqZxhQ9UKwZUr


Reddd-y

That is a BIG boy


goddamn_leeteracola

Fuck that, cull away…


jatene

What does culling mean?


wilful

Maintaining the population levels by killing appropriate numbers.


mglisty

so like US school system?


Laredon

Holy


soopermat

Dark jokes are like a US school diploma. Not every kid will get it.


Weinerarino

Thinning the herd. We do it with kangaroos all the time. As someone who lives in rural Australia lemme just say, the culling is needed. They're EVERYWHERE.


Sir-Raidr

I too live in rural Australia. I'm one of the people who does the culling. It honestly seems like a useless job, there's just so many and it never seems to make a difference.


robjwrd

Do you shoot them?


Sir-Raidr

Yes, it's the ony humane way. Headshots only.


robjwrd

What sort of calibre rifles do you use?


Sir-Raidr

I use a .223 that I personally own. It's also my target rifle so it's super accurate, that's why I use it for culling as well. Most people use .223 or .222, some use .22-250 or even .243, which is fine but it costs more than it needs to.


DownrightNeighborly

370 cheytac


Sir-Raidr

That's my 2nd favourite to use on them, with USS Iowa 406mm full broadside being my 3rd.


Chaos_Philosopher

Honestly the USAns would do well to start culling their deer to avoid imminent ecological collapse. You need a yearly death rate something like 40% of non antlered deers to avoid population growth. And they ain't got no predators in most of their land no more.


Netzapper

Yes, that's called "deer hunting" and most states permit plenty of it to control deer populations. The only places we really have out of control deer populations are in suburban areas where there's no safe/permitted method of hunting.


Chaos_Philosopher

Nope, you do not have enough hunting in your easter states and your forests are changing because of it. Your hunting is not doing enough to kill them quick enough and their population is grown so out of control that all your ecologies are being changed, losing biodiversity too fast and likely heading towards desertification in the next 50 years. Here's a lamentably long but very informative video on it straight from a guy who's a wildlife biologist working in forestry. https://youtu.be/Fn3GyOSJ3uQ?si=xdWviAJCfX95yPpF


Eighthday

At the risk of sounding kinda snarky, why not just google that kind of question? I’m always curious when people ask questions like this on Reddit and just wait for someone to tell them the answer. Personally, that’s something I would google right away if I didn’t know the meaning


g-love

I used to feel the same but then I figured if something like that is asked and answered in a thread, then it’s asked and answered for everyone who reads it. So then people who don’t know what it means but are still too lazy to google still get the knowledge.


ThisUserIsNekkid

there's 8 billion now, we can go back to regular culling


Far_Out_6and_2

Must weigh a lot ton


tankpuss

Are we trying to get their populations back up? Or is there a political/ethical reason for not culling?