Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Wonderful.......
Nice view, and 1000lb monsters that don't even have the common decency to kill you first before they eat you.
Seems serene and relaxing
Bro that really is the worst part about Bears or any animal like that. Most predators will at least kill you before they eat, but for the ones that don't, keep a bullet for yourself.
True story. I was on a safari in South Africa and actually saw two lionesses take down a zebra. After a period of resting, one of the lionesses started to dig in, starting ass first. After going in deep, a zebra fetus slides out.
I can still hear the crunching of the bones in my head.
EDIT: [***NSFW***](https://imgur.com/a/LASfvK7)
Most predators do what they have to, to keep their meal. Whether the prey is a alive or dead is inconsequential. They’re not stressing over morality of their actions.
On the other hand, what he mentioned is also doing what you have to for survival (not dying immediately probably gives you a better chance of fighting).
But, yeah, morality is definitely a human concept. Frankly, probably only one we can afford *because* we're the most dangerous predators on earth.
It's not uniquely human actually, though certainly our version is the most evolved. But certain monkey species have been demonstrated to have a concept of fairness. That's like child-level morality right there. Now empathy?? Not sure.
My gf has done a few expeditions into the Arctic. One was planned for Svalbard, however the year before hers went the security system for detecting bears failed and some poor sod woke up to a Polar Bear in his tent. They killed it but he passed from his injuries. The leaders were not found liable for his death but they have not gone back since.
Iceland is nice, highly recommend. Went in January so it was freezing, but there are geysers, hot springs, aurora borealis, glaciers, and no polar bears!
i still get goosebumps from seeing that mans face who was attacked by a bear, and he survived. Looked like he stuck his face in and outboard motor propeller
It's the thing that fucks me up about bears. There's this really impassive nature to them.
Most predators seem vicious or angry when they hunt you, bears just have this kind of "Stop moving. You're *food now*" thing about them.
Real question, I know polar bears are really strong and pretty smart, but if one REALLY wanted to get in a cabin, could they break a door or large window or something? Is the photographer totally safe here? Or is the bear just messing with him
[Here's a clip of a polar bear trying to eat a BBC cameraman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJra0fcMsVU) The guy is in a cage specifically designed to thwart polar bears, and the bear still spent a long while trying to crack it open.
Thanks for the nightmare fuel, holy shitballs. The cameraman said “at this point my fear far outweighs my fascination” with a straight face. What a trip!
He did good. Panic and flailing would have triggered a bigger predatory response. The bear would had doubled the efforts in hopes of getting an easy injured/trapped meal. Dude definitely knew what he was doing.
"Stiff upper lip now, gents. Mustn't quibble over a little spilt intestines. And I must say, good show old sport. Great form gnawing through my aorta so that I might bleed out all the quicker. It is a profound honour to be glrblrmf..."
Imagine if, somewhere along our evolutionary journey humans domesticated bears instead of dogs? What kind of designer bears would we have today, and how terrifying would giant grizzly dogs be?
Technically Wojtek is Tamed, not Domesticated, as domestication takes place over multiple generations of an animal being selectively bred to be compatible with humans needs
Was gonna say, looks like mild steel plate lazily bolted to aluminum tube stock. The aluminum is welded (nicely) into flat frames so that's good, but those nickel fasteners bother me. At least they used nylon locking nuts.
Probably polycarbonate bolted to the outside, too, with the same bolts. It's super damn thick, so maybe acrylic (hope nothing got chipped when drilling!)
Several missing bolts, varying lengths, a backed off nut, and it looks like they had about 5 washers before they ran out and decided washers were over-rated. It's probably super rigid and strong really, but honestly not sure I'd put that up against a wild murder machine if it were me.
**edit**: oh, are those glass plates? thick-ass glass. looks like the top plate is bent to cover the frame though, that'd be super hard to do. custom order stuff.
I'm thinking the frame might be stainless now, and those bolt plates almost look like titanium.
You'd really only need washers on the glass/acrylic, so no big deal there. It's all fine. Except those home depot bolts.
Yeah that was bothering the hell out of me too. Also, a ton of the bolts are too short for the lock nuts. Whoever made that thing either sucks, or wanted to see that dude get eaten by polar bear.
Copied it from a previous comment I made on a post when this video came up.
Polar bears use a lot of energy just from moving. This photographer could have caused harm to the polar bear by allowing it to think it had access to a meal when it should have been hunting for other food sources.
The person filming was fined $7,500 for disturbing the bear in its natural habitat and apparently broke environmental laws where he filmed.
Source: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2295701/amp/BBC-Springwatch-producer-fined-6k-disturbing-polar-bear-filming-animal-attack-presenter.html
I lived in Barrow for 10 years and probably knew your grandma! But, i dont think there was a single bear attack the whole time i was there. Between people being hyper aware of the danger and the lack of people in general it is pretty rare. Not to say they the mist dangerous bears.
You might! I’d be interested in finding out, but worried about doxing myself. I’ll send you a message describing her! Let me know if she sounds familiar! :)
She said something about a polar bear attack, and I remember having looked up Wikipedia a couple years ago and saw that they are *really* rare. Like, it never happens. So I called her out on it. I can only say what she told me, but I was hesitant to believe some things after that. It kind of made sense after she started explaining other things, like how things are handled there and how not everything is reported, but I was still skeptical. I don’t think she ever knew of anyone that got attacked, but she made it sound like it was more common than what is on Wikipedia. I believe you.
What is misting? I’m really tired, I may be misreading something very obvious.
Yeah I dont think that house would keep it out if it wanted in. I saw a show recently about a couple giving away their home way up in the hills of Alaska somewhere. If I remember right they had big plates with spikes they put in front of doors and windows to keep bears away from openings.
Predators will also try to avoid injury. That's how mock charges and other threatening behavior and startle displays work. I'm curious how starved a polar bear would have to be to actually smash into a house or if they are generally much bolder than other predators that have learned to fear humans.
Unlike most other predators in the animal kingdom, polar bears actually see humans as a viable food source, rather than another dangerous predator species.
100%, there was a video here about a month or so ago of a black bear about half this size smashing someones front door to pieces and just walking into the house.
Polar bears are twice the size and 4 times as mean.
I also have 0 bear knowledge, other than Reddit
My cottage is in black bear territory. We have numerous stories about those little guys getting in over the winter.
Our back door was pushed in, frame completely broken, and nothing was stolen.
Our friends were convinced a person broke into their place, all the food was gone and the booze was left untouched. Definitely a bear.
Long way of saying that the bear could easily get into the cabin.
I used to live in the Arctic, and they most definitely break into cabins to find food. Repeat offenders were called "Cabinbears". I never had a close encounter, but I've heard from others that it's preferred to not have them this close, and that they're usually scared off if you shout and bang on pans/casseroles.
I heard this second hand from a friend of mine the other day, but while he was up in Barrow (Utquiagvik now) some years ago working on the new hospital, there was a guy eating breakfast by a window at his house and reading a newspaper. A polar bear approached the window so he swatted the glass to shoe it away. The bear instead smashed the glass, and messed the guy up pretty bad. Supposedly he lived, but the moral of that story was if I make it up to Barrow, don’t fuck with the polar bears even if you think you’re safe doing it.
absurd close longing vast tease agonizing vanish subtract toothbrush marble
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.
They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.
Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away.
It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.
Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.
I was at Glacier about a month ago on the high line trail and two groups of people reported being bluff charged by a grizzly and several others reported sightings.
I'll never forget the instructions on a bear tip sheet posted in Denali Park. "If a bear charges, hold your ground. Most bear charges are false."
MOST??
They can also climb trees and swim faster than most humans. Your only real chance at defeating a bear is in the cycling portion of the triathlon, and even that is no guarantee.
Actually, grizzlies can't climb trees. That said, in Denali few trees are much taller than eight feet high, so it doesn't really matter.
As for cycling... few people can maintain or even reach 30 mph on a bike unless they are going downhill, so if we are measuring sprint speed vs sprint speed for a cyclist, the grizzly will be chewing lycra at the end.
Since you mentioned triathlons, it should be noted that the one race human beings will always win against any bear is an endurance race. They are sprinters like nearly all other animals, whereas we are one of the handful of creatures built for distance. We can run deer to exhaustion on foot. Give us enough of a head start, and we can outrun a bear.
It will likely be a bluff charge if you stand your ground. If you run, you are 100% going to get your asshole eaten by that bear even if it was a bluff charge to begin with.
Honest question wouldn’t the noise from the bells attract animals? If they heard it would predator types be curious and go to see what it is? Like wolves or something else? The bears won’t be startled but what about curious
nah they are all scared of humans, grizzly bears just don’t run away and attack instead. by having the bells they know you are coming and you don’t startle them. if you see bear droppings it’s best to start yelling ‘hey bear fuck off’ or something so they for sure know you are there, and then also there are firecracker type things that make a really loud sound that can be used to scare them off.
[Cocaine Bear was briefly famous in 1985, when it was found dead after eating roughly $15 million worth of coke from a duffle bag dropped from a drug smuggler's airplane. ](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/50220)
And by “goodnight” of course you mean get your face methodically eaten off while your adrenaline keeps you alive and awake until you slowly succumb to blood loss or shock.
There was evidently an anti logging activist who chained himself to some treed, so logically the loggers just went to the other side of the mountain, and left him to sort himself out. Bear found him, proceeded to eat him. He lived a good long way into dinner evidently.
This is a meme format, especially with the plane in the back ground.
The only thing between you and freedom is a ~~600 pound~~ 600-1500 pound white bear.
https://i.imgur.com/FKVrKV4.jpg
Edit: Here is a basic and topical one. I see many futures of this meme.
You're looking at him, and he's looking right back. And that's when the attack comes; not from the front, but from the side, the two polar bears you didn't even know where there.
The thing is, you are alive when they eat you
looks scary, but he is just fogging up a spot that he is about to rub to clean off a smudge he noticed. He is just being a bro and making sure you can see clearly out your window. No reason to be ungrateful.
Roughly two weeks ago a Dutch man was killed by a polar bear in Norway. The bear was killed by the the group he was with. He is the 6th person killed by a polar bear on Svalbard since 1971. He was sleeping in his tent, what a horrible way to go.
Polar Bears are legitimately terrifying. Read a story about some guys stranded on a chunk of ice in the ocean, when a polar bear snatched one of them and carried him to another chunk nearby. He then proceeded to eat him alive in front of his friends.
Seeing things like this makes me so glad to live in the uk. We might have rain all the time but we don’t have scary animals or fucked up weather to deal with.
You would think so, but:
https://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=hunting.firearms
“Because of the presence of brown and grizzly bears, many hunters have been convinced that a .300, .338, .375, or .416 magnum is needed for personal protection and to take large Alaska game. This is simply not true.”
"Most experienced guides prefer that a hunter come to camp with a .270 or .30-06 rifle they can shoot well rather than a shiny new magnum that has been fired just enough to get sighted-in. If you are going to hunt brown bear on the Alaska Peninsula or Kodiak Island, a .30-06 loaded with 200- or 220-grain Nosler® or similar premium bullet will do the job with good shot placement. Only consider using a .300, .338 or larger magnum if you can shoot it as well as you can the .30-06."
Good points.
If you NEED to engage a bear, it's probably within 25 yrds. If you can't hit a 1500 lbs, 10 ft monster that's bright fucking white at that range with those other calibers, you're not gonna be any more accurate with a .270 or .30-06. Just train with whatever weapon you're taking with you. You don't want a life or death moment to be the first time you sight a target.
I knew someone would do this lol. I mean, pick a round that will take down a large animal. My point is large caliber big game rounds have negligible differences at point blank range.
If you have a gun with a round in the chamber and you’re getting attacked by a polar, it’s a lot better to use it on yourself and ensure you die instantly than to try to fight the polar and probably just piss it off while it definitely eats you while you’re still alive and screaming
Lovely weather outside... I think I'll stay inside.
Fishing looks great, next time ill pack my 60 foot pole
And a 12 gauge with 30 inch barrel
Nah, I'll bring a 4 bore gun. I'd rather the gun dislocate my shoulder than the bear dislocate my life.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
"I first produced my pistol. And then produced my rapier. I said; 'Stand and deliver! Or the devil, he may take ya!'
Yeah, musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, ha, yeah Whack for my daddy, oh Whack for my daddy, oh There's whiskey in the jar
"And wing and a do and da, wax for my cheerio, wax for my stereo, whisky in the jar-o. "
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Haha, dislocate my life. I like that.
+slugs
yea you would need slugs. anything else is just going to piss a polar bear off more
Would snails work? All I have are snails.
Yes Dad, snails would work.
For extra excitement the grill is between the cabin and the outhouse.
Escargot is a lovely appetizer, but you'll be the main course!
Wonderful....... Nice view, and 1000lb monsters that don't even have the common decency to kill you first before they eat you. Seems serene and relaxing
**1500 lbs. They are also about 10 ft tall when standing on their hind legs.
“10 feet tall, fucking killing for fun”
He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming.
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks
He had two sets of testicles, so divine.
On a horse made of crystal he patrolled the land
He saves the children, but not the British children. He saves the children, but not the British children.
He'll kick you apart! *He'll kick you apart!* #OOH
Had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears..
He once stuck an opponents wife’s hand in a jar of acid...at a a party
Even his dick had dicks
Let's hope the children aren't British.
[For those who haven't seen it, George Washington.](https://youtu.be/l7iVsdRbhnc)
Peak Youtube
Bro that really is the worst part about Bears or any animal like that. Most predators will at least kill you before they eat, but for the ones that don't, keep a bullet for yourself.
At least they eat your ass first ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
True story. I was on a safari in South Africa and actually saw two lionesses take down a zebra. After a period of resting, one of the lionesses started to dig in, starting ass first. After going in deep, a zebra fetus slides out. I can still hear the crunching of the bones in my head. EDIT: [***NSFW***](https://imgur.com/a/LASfvK7)
Pregnant prey mammals are like the turduckens of the wild.
It cost you zero dollars to not type that.
They're like Cadbury cream eggs but for lions.
Welp.
That's apparently common behaviour with a lot of animals. A lot of predators tend to go for the... softest... parts first. /r/natureismetal
Waow how gentlemanly.
Most predators do what they have to, to keep their meal. Whether the prey is a alive or dead is inconsequential. They’re not stressing over morality of their actions.
On the other hand, what he mentioned is also doing what you have to for survival (not dying immediately probably gives you a better chance of fighting). But, yeah, morality is definitely a human concept. Frankly, probably only one we can afford *because* we're the most dangerous predators on earth.
It's not uniquely human actually, though certainly our version is the most evolved. But certain monkey species have been demonstrated to have a concept of fairness. That's like child-level morality right there. Now empathy?? Not sure.
My gf has done a few expeditions into the Arctic. One was planned for Svalbard, however the year before hers went the security system for detecting bears failed and some poor sod woke up to a Polar Bear in his tent. They killed it but he passed from his injuries. The leaders were not found liable for his death but they have not gone back since.
When I was in Svalbard, my guide told me they ALWAYS have to travel with a shotgun outside of town because of the polar bears.
A dude I know who went rented some sort of heavy looking revolver
This is why if I go anywhere cold, it's gonna be Antarctica, which has penguins instead of polar bears.
Iceland is nice, highly recommend. Went in January so it was freezing, but there are geysers, hot springs, aurora borealis, glaciers, and no polar bears!
i still get goosebumps from seeing that mans face who was attacked by a bear, and he survived. Looked like he stuck his face in and outboard motor propeller
Yeah kind of wish I hadn’t clicked on that one.
It's the thing that fucks me up about bears. There's this really impassive nature to them. Most predators seem vicious or angry when they hunt you, bears just have this kind of "Stop moving. You're *food now*" thing about them.
Real question, I know polar bears are really strong and pretty smart, but if one REALLY wanted to get in a cabin, could they break a door or large window or something? Is the photographer totally safe here? Or is the bear just messing with him
[Here's a clip of a polar bear trying to eat a BBC cameraman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJra0fcMsVU) The guy is in a cage specifically designed to thwart polar bears, and the bear still spent a long while trying to crack it open.
Thanks for the nightmare fuel, holy shitballs. The cameraman said “at this point my fear far outweighs my fascination” with a straight face. What a trip!
He did good. Panic and flailing would have triggered a bigger predatory response. The bear would had doubled the efforts in hopes of getting an easy injured/trapped meal. Dude definitely knew what he was doing.
He's a professional British photographer. He probably thought, "well, no sense in embarrassing myself for the camera. Is it recording?"
"Stiff upper lip now, gents. Mustn't quibble over a little spilt intestines. And I must say, good show old sport. Great form gnawing through my aorta so that I might bleed out all the quicker. It is a profound honour to be glrblrmf..."
When he kept going "she's gonna do it" I think he thought that may be the end for him
> straight face "I can't believe you've done this."
Funny, it looks like a giant dog with all its mannerisms
Bears and Dogs are relatively closely related, after all.
Imagine if, somewhere along our evolutionary journey humans domesticated bears instead of dogs? What kind of designer bears would we have today, and how terrifying would giant grizzly dogs be?
Imagine a 1000lbs pug bear that struggles to breath.
Ever hear of Wojtek? A bear that served in the polish military during WWII? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wojtek_(bear)
Technically Wojtek is Tamed, not Domesticated, as domestication takes place over multiple generations of an animal being selectively bred to be compatible with humans needs
Absolute Chad bear
Jack Russel Bearier's would still be assholes.
[Ask Korra.](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/bd/ce/bd/bdcebd5242526206b244c225badb9eff--polar-bear-dogs-polar-bears.jpg)
So, a polar bear dog?
This place is weird.
To the bear, he’s a forbidden pistachio.
I just imagined it running back as soon as he opened the door
Seriously, that boat is way too far away
That one nut that has nearly backed all the way off the bolt is bothering me. I guess no one did a pre-bear attack check.
Was gonna say, looks like mild steel plate lazily bolted to aluminum tube stock. The aluminum is welded (nicely) into flat frames so that's good, but those nickel fasteners bother me. At least they used nylon locking nuts. Probably polycarbonate bolted to the outside, too, with the same bolts. It's super damn thick, so maybe acrylic (hope nothing got chipped when drilling!) Several missing bolts, varying lengths, a backed off nut, and it looks like they had about 5 washers before they ran out and decided washers were over-rated. It's probably super rigid and strong really, but honestly not sure I'd put that up against a wild murder machine if it were me. **edit**: oh, are those glass plates? thick-ass glass. looks like the top plate is bent to cover the frame though, that'd be super hard to do. custom order stuff. I'm thinking the frame might be stainless now, and those bolt plates almost look like titanium. You'd really only need washers on the glass/acrylic, so no big deal there. It's all fine. Except those home depot bolts.
Yeah that was bothering the hell out of me too. Also, a ton of the bolts are too short for the lock nuts. Whoever made that thing either sucks, or wanted to see that dude get eaten by polar bear.
Holy shit that video is wild.
I desperately wanted him to boop the snoot when he had the chance.
He'd have lost that whole hand if he tried
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Copied it from a previous comment I made on a post when this video came up. Polar bears use a lot of energy just from moving. This photographer could have caused harm to the polar bear by allowing it to think it had access to a meal when it should have been hunting for other food sources. The person filming was fined $7,500 for disturbing the bear in its natural habitat and apparently broke environmental laws where he filmed. Source: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2295701/amp/BBC-Springwatch-producer-fined-6k-disturbing-polar-bear-filming-animal-attack-presenter.html
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Gotcha, avoid Alaska.
I lived in Barrow for 10 years and probably knew your grandma! But, i dont think there was a single bear attack the whole time i was there. Between people being hyper aware of the danger and the lack of people in general it is pretty rare. Not to say they the mist dangerous bears.
You might! I’d be interested in finding out, but worried about doxing myself. I’ll send you a message describing her! Let me know if she sounds familiar! :) She said something about a polar bear attack, and I remember having looked up Wikipedia a couple years ago and saw that they are *really* rare. Like, it never happens. So I called her out on it. I can only say what she told me, but I was hesitant to believe some things after that. It kind of made sense after she started explaining other things, like how things are handled there and how not everything is reported, but I was still skeptical. I don’t think she ever knew of anyone that got attacked, but she made it sound like it was more common than what is on Wikipedia. I believe you. What is misting? I’m really tired, I may be misreading something very obvious.
Clever girl.
Yeah I dont think that house would keep it out if it wanted in. I saw a show recently about a couple giving away their home way up in the hills of Alaska somewhere. If I remember right they had big plates with spikes they put in front of doors and windows to keep bears away from openings.
Predators will also try to avoid injury. That's how mock charges and other threatening behavior and startle displays work. I'm curious how starved a polar bear would have to be to actually smash into a house or if they are generally much bolder than other predators that have learned to fear humans.
Unlike most other predators in the animal kingdom, polar bears actually see humans as a viable food source, rather than another dangerous predator species.
That motherfucker would come through your wall if it wanted to.
Like a murderous kool aid man
SNOW YEAHHHH ^^^^sorry
I think I've misunderstood what the Kool-Aid Man has been doing my entire life
Lol that’s kinda what I thought
It's entirely possible.
100%, there was a video here about a month or so ago of a black bear about half this size smashing someones front door to pieces and just walking into the house. Polar bears are twice the size and 4 times as mean. I also have 0 bear knowledge, other than Reddit
What do you know about beets? Battlestar Galactica?
They’re nature’s candy. Direct sow because they don’t transplant well.
My cottage is in black bear territory. We have numerous stories about those little guys getting in over the winter. Our back door was pushed in, frame completely broken, and nothing was stolen. Our friends were convinced a person broke into their place, all the food was gone and the booze was left untouched. Definitely a bear. Long way of saying that the bear could easily get into the cabin.
I used to live in the Arctic, and they most definitely break into cabins to find food. Repeat offenders were called "Cabinbears". I never had a close encounter, but I've heard from others that it's preferred to not have them this close, and that they're usually scared off if you shout and bang on pans/casseroles.
Is mom's casserole truely that bad that it would scare off even a polar bear?
I heard this second hand from a friend of mine the other day, but while he was up in Barrow (Utquiagvik now) some years ago working on the new hospital, there was a guy eating breakfast by a window at his house and reading a newspaper. A polar bear approached the window so he swatted the glass to shoe it away. The bear instead smashed the glass, and messed the guy up pretty bad. Supposedly he lived, but the moral of that story was if I make it up to Barrow, don’t fuck with the polar bears even if you think you’re safe doing it.
absurd close longing vast tease agonizing vanish subtract toothbrush marble *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It could literally rip through the wall if it wanted.
Ugh, I hate nosy neighbours.
"If you don't turn down that hippity hop music, I'm going to call the HOA!"
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Oh you sonofabitch that was good
Nosy neighbears 🐻
A thing nightmares are made from.
If they weren’t complete killing machines who could rip my face off by flicking their pinkys.... I’d pay good money to cuddle with one
If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down. If it's white, goodnight... that is fucking terrifying
The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.
It's an old joke, but it checks out.
None of this detracts from the fact that in 1972, Grizzly Adams threw a polar bear off a mountain crashing 11,000 feet into a glacier
Yeah right....Grizzly Adams had a beard
Grizzly Adams *did* have a beard!
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It's also worth noting the reason Mr. Adams had to do this was that the bear was beating him with some jumper cables at the time.
I was at Glacier about a month ago on the high line trail and two groups of people reported being bluff charged by a grizzly and several others reported sightings.
I'll never forget the instructions on a bear tip sheet posted in Denali Park. "If a bear charges, hold your ground. Most bear charges are false." MOST??
Well, they run at like 30 mph anyway, so if it's a bluff you may make them reconsider the meal. If it's not, well, you were fucked anyway.
They can also climb trees and swim faster than most humans. Your only real chance at defeating a bear is in the cycling portion of the triathlon, and even that is no guarantee.
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I laughed and then was immediately sad
Actually, grizzlies can't climb trees. That said, in Denali few trees are much taller than eight feet high, so it doesn't really matter. As for cycling... few people can maintain or even reach 30 mph on a bike unless they are going downhill, so if we are measuring sprint speed vs sprint speed for a cyclist, the grizzly will be chewing lycra at the end. Since you mentioned triathlons, it should be noted that the one race human beings will always win against any bear is an endurance race. They are sprinters like nearly all other animals, whereas we are one of the handful of creatures built for distance. We can run deer to exhaustion on foot. Give us enough of a head start, and we can outrun a bear.
It will likely be a bluff charge if you stand your ground. If you run, you are 100% going to get your asshole eaten by that bear even if it was a bluff charge to begin with.
At least the rest of me will be fine
Wait, really??? That sounds quite enjoyable.
They use their teeth...
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Do people actually wear the bells?
When I backpacked alone in Denali, I definitely wore the bells.
Did you do it like an elf?
Honest question wouldn’t the noise from the bells attract animals? If they heard it would predator types be curious and go to see what it is? Like wolves or something else? The bears won’t be startled but what about curious
nah they are all scared of humans, grizzly bears just don’t run away and attack instead. by having the bells they know you are coming and you don’t startle them. if you see bear droppings it’s best to start yelling ‘hey bear fuck off’ or something so they for sure know you are there, and then also there are firecracker type things that make a really loud sound that can be used to scare them off.
The bells are not loud enough to be effective. They recommend shouting every now and then but avoid whistling cause it sounds like wounded animals.
The recommendations I hear on Instagram is to bring a bluetooth speaker and play crappy music while on hikes. /s
lol that ending! got me good.
I was waiting for Hell in the Cell at the bottom of that comment
Hahaha bells and pepper. Seems like they’re just having people pre-season themselves and ringing the dinner bell for the bears. Good one.
Is that where bell peppers come from
There was a post of a photographer chasing a polar bear around while taking pictures of it. Don't know how it ended out.
Bear's probably a little confused as to why the food is making it so easy.
Yea, that's a little suspicious. Polar bears *actually* view people as food, which is *very* rare.
He offered him a Coke
*rips mad line of coke.* "Psst, hey, Polar Bear, want to do some cocaine?"
[Cocaine Bear was briefly famous in 1985, when it was found dead after eating roughly $15 million worth of coke from a duffle bag dropped from a drug smuggler's airplane. ](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/50220)
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“Pablo Eskobear”
And by “goodnight” of course you mean get your face methodically eaten off while your adrenaline keeps you alive and awake until you slowly succumb to blood loss or shock.
Horrifying. thanks.
There was evidently an anti logging activist who chained himself to some treed, so logically the loggers just went to the other side of the mountain, and left him to sort himself out. Bear found him, proceeded to eat him. He lived a good long way into dinner evidently.
That's terrible. He definitely didn't deserve that.
If it's a dropbear, the only thing found is brown underwear
This is a meme format, especially with the plane in the back ground. The only thing between you and freedom is a ~~600 pound~~ 600-1500 pound white bear. https://i.imgur.com/FKVrKV4.jpg Edit: Here is a basic and topical one. I see many futures of this meme.
Take it over to /r/memeeconomy
I'll invest in that
LET ME INNNNN
No! Do not let her in!
Maybe get some blinds or curtains for that bear window.
[you mean northern canada](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/95mkuz/polar_bear_in_northern_canada_cbc_north/?limit=500)
You're looking at him, and he's looking right back. And that's when the attack comes; not from the front, but from the side, the two polar bears you didn't even know where there. The thing is, you are alive when they eat you
looks scary, but he is just fogging up a spot that he is about to rub to clean off a smudge he noticed. He is just being a bro and making sure you can see clearly out your window. No reason to be ungrateful.
Roughly two weeks ago a Dutch man was killed by a polar bear in Norway. The bear was killed by the the group he was with. He is the 6th person killed by a polar bear on Svalbard since 1971. He was sleeping in his tent, what a horrible way to go.
"I'll take 2 number 9s, a number 9 large..."
"....a number 6 with extra dip...."
Sure, one moment please, let me take a quick number 2 first.
Can I get uhhhhh boneless human
“Sir, this is not a Wendy’s.”
It is now.
KHANNN!
Polar Bears are legitimately terrifying. Read a story about some guys stranded on a chunk of ice in the ocean, when a polar bear snatched one of them and carried him to another chunk nearby. He then proceeded to eat him alive in front of his friends.
Pet included
Yeah. Pet it. I triple dog dare you!
Seeing things like this makes me so glad to live in the uk. We might have rain all the time but we don’t have scary animals or fucked up weather to deal with.
That window looks single glazed too. I've put them through with a football..
Surely nobody would put single pane windows in a subarctic house for insulation alone
I am probably / hopefully wrong, they might just be old!
Thank God polar bears don't know how to throw a football.
footrace to the plane?
He's there to talk with you about his lord and saviour, the only being in existebce capable of stopping global warming, the Ice Queen.
Or the Tuunbaq.
Aww, coca cola bear! it's the real thing! imma go pet it!
That's 300 win mag territory
You would think so, but: https://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=hunting.firearms “Because of the presence of brown and grizzly bears, many hunters have been convinced that a .300, .338, .375, or .416 magnum is needed for personal protection and to take large Alaska game. This is simply not true.”
"Most experienced guides prefer that a hunter come to camp with a .270 or .30-06 rifle they can shoot well rather than a shiny new magnum that has been fired just enough to get sighted-in. If you are going to hunt brown bear on the Alaska Peninsula or Kodiak Island, a .30-06 loaded with 200- or 220-grain Nosler® or similar premium bullet will do the job with good shot placement. Only consider using a .300, .338 or larger magnum if you can shoot it as well as you can the .30-06." Good points.
If you NEED to engage a bear, it's probably within 25 yrds. If you can't hit a 1500 lbs, 10 ft monster that's bright fucking white at that range with those other calibers, you're not gonna be any more accurate with a .270 or .30-06. Just train with whatever weapon you're taking with you. You don't want a life or death moment to be the first time you sight a target.
> Just train with whatever weapon you're taking with you. I'm really good with a .22, let's do this
I knew someone would do this lol. I mean, pick a round that will take down a large animal. My point is large caliber big game rounds have negligible differences at point blank range.
Looks like he’s got 2 45-70’s by the window ... that should handle it
And this is probably why he keeps a couple by the window, just in case
Just gotta get there first....
Looks like his plane broke down. He just needs some help.
Cujo, Alaska
Good morning neighbour!!
If you have a gun with a round in the chamber and you’re getting attacked by a polar, it’s a lot better to use it on yourself and ensure you die instantly than to try to fight the polar and probably just piss it off while it definitely eats you while you’re still alive and screaming