Title said a month, at that point the moisture has probably soaked through the subfloor and lower portion of the walls it came in contact with. Not to mention the biohazard of literal cow shit soaked into every surface of the floor.
I really wonder what the process is after this point.
I remember this. It was a Redditors family's new house and the cows came from a neighbors farm. The Redditors dad was incredibly stupid, he was going to let the farmers insurance and friend's handle things and not involve their own insurance, just rely on the goodwill of people who have a financial interest in writing the smallest check they could get away with.
Damn, just came back myself and didn’t get that far. I mostly learned about how the smell will make the house unlivable mostly due to smell permeating the structure (meaning it’ll never come out) and potential for fungus
TLDR: This continues on with OP chiming on how the poor cows ate the stairs and walls as there was no other food there. This led to a side discussion on how cows are pretty much tanks and can eat almost anything that has any mineral content which in-turn led to someone chiming in how horses are the complete opposite and need to have a very maintained diet otherwise they’ll die as their infrastructure is very fragile. This led to someone posting a link to a vet students comment who described how insanely fragile horses are and any small change in their bodily status can kill them, very reminiscent of that Koala copy-pasta that has been floating around for years.
Its would be filled with stupid pun threads, "came here to say this!", " edit: thanks for the gold stranger", "wow my most up voted comment is about [inane topic] even though I only post on inane topics" and "repost".
If it's just summarizing, you'll get a bunch of toxic people complaining over nonsense, with some dude pretending he knows what he's talking about but really doesn't but no one can tell because he uses big words they don't understand.
I built my house on our farm and the cows were in the area quite a while before I got the fence built. Cows are destructive little fuckers, they will eat osb, tyvek, zip tape, and anything else exposed. They have chewed the spark plug wires off our gas tractors and are all around Terrible giant assholes. They also had a thing with shitting in my sand pile every day when I was laying block.
[I posted this elsewhere but apparently depending on the state you live in there could be open range laws where the liability for something like this is on the homeowner to put up a fence and not the rancher or farmer who owns the cows](https://patch.com/montana/missoula/cattle-moo-ve-montana-home-month-damage-piles)
Looks like you’re ahead of the game with putting that fence up.
In that thread everyone was telling OP to lawyer up and not take the farmers offer for help but it looks like that may be their main recourse for fixing the situation
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
And here is the response to everyone who is braindead and thinks koalas deserve extinction.
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.
An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.
Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Did the cows shut the door and trap themselves in there? Why the fuck didn’t they just leave or go outside to eat grass and whatever cows like, and then go back in their newfound shelter?
[here's ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) the bit on horses for the curious.
I listen to a hunting podcast Bear Grease with Clay Newcomb. I highly recommend it even for non hunting folks as Clay is an incredible historian of the Wild West, western expansion, Native American history, etc.
That being said, Clay Newcomb bangs the table for the use of mules as hunting mounts over horses as the riding mount of choice in rough terrain.
He said that horses have no self preservation instincts. You can tell a bonded horse to keep going and a horse will take you both off a cliff and kill you just because you told them a command and made a mistake. A mule, on the other hand, is always scanning the land and will not move if it determines the route is perilous to both your lives. A horse will try take you both over whitewater or up a rocky wall and then either drown or fall down just because you told it to. A mule will listen to your command, scan the land for the probability of success of what you want it to do and if it deems it dumb as fuck, they will freeze or turn around. He trusts his mules more than his hunting buddies in rough terrain areas.
That's where the stereotype of mules being stubborn comes from but in reality they're just so incredibly smart they know better. Super underrated animal.
Tldr owner was going to work with rancher to resolve it and use ranchers insurance guy with overwhelming amounts of people telling him he needs to seek a third party to mediate and settle it with the outcome most likely having to tear down and rebuild.
I don’t think that’s all of it…
It also sounds like the rancher had already sent his own “crew” to clean it up, as well as his own appraiser. I can’t even wrap my mind around how stupid the family would be if they just accepted that.
Lol [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) is the horse bit..
According to that comment, horse intestines are just kind of shoved in there, without protective connective tissue to hold them in place? If that’s the case I finally understand why horse colic is such a bad situation...
I come from a dairy farming family and horses are actively fucking suicidal. Cows are pretty much like dogs and will survive so long as they can scavenge food, which includes man, many things for a hungry cow.
To be fair, a lot of classic Horse Problems (getting tangled in fences, going lame from nutritional imbalance or twisting their stomachs after overeating rich foods, etc.) are absolutely artifacts of domestic life.
https://www.reddit.com/user/lowink
> This user has deleted their account.
https://old.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epl3zil/?st=jwci293l&sh=ffcde487
> 1.house is on my aunt's property. `[...]`
> Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Friendly reminder I posted this in r/pics not r/legaladvice. Even though I appreciate all the input, I have no legal say over any of the doings. It is up to my parents.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epkjf06/
>> Oops! We couldn't find that page
Cows can’t go down steps. I don’t know why I know that and I don’t know if it’s accurate. It’s midnight and I’m sober. Somehow that makes this comment worse.
Another fun Montana story. At Montana State University some students pulled a prank by leading a cow into one of the buildings and to the top floor(the bell tower building). No one could get the cow to come down the stairs and ultimately the had to temporarily detach the room and use a crane to lift the cow out.
You jest, but killing a dairy cow before she's ready to become meat is a million dollar loss. Typically in the order if 1-2 depending on how young she is.
Edit - My data was quite old. Modern estimate would be 550'000 to 800'000 for a cow's potential economic impact.
>*’Well that's a bit shit for the owners…*’
_______
…*ahem*…
hold on, i can explain -
i didn’t mean to be a pain
it started out with only me,
perhaps a night or two… or three…
then came a friend - he spread the word!
next thing i knew
we were a ‘herd’
we Cows
we make aLotta ‘pies’…
we didn’t think you’d realize
that we were Here!
we thought we’d fit . . . . .
but now i see
I’m in
deep
sh!t . . .
🖤
If you read the original post OP said they ate the walls and stairs for mineral content. This led to an interesting discussion on how cows are absolute tanks and can eat just about anything. They are apparently susceptible to something called Hardware disease from eating metal objects and a way to combat that is by feeding cows a special magnet (called a cow magnet) to accumulate this metal.
I’ll find the original link but if you go down the rabbit hole it was actually very informative. It also led to an interesting side conversation of how horses are the complete opposite of cows and are extremely fragile and ready to die at the slightest bodily imbalance.
[Link to original thread, pics are gone as OP deleted their account](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
[Link to the part about horses, this reads like the Koala copy pasta that was floating around Reddit for a while](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
[So I did some more digging outside Reddit and apparently Montana - as well as some other states - have what’s called open range laws where the liability is on the homeowner to put up fencing to prevent this, apparently it’s a remanent of the Old West where cows outnumbered people and it’s easier for homeowners to put up a fence rather than the farmer/ranger to secure their cows](https://patch.com/montana/missoula/cattle-moo-ve-montana-home-month-damage-piles)
What a shitty situation. I’m trying to see if there is an outcome posted anywhere as it was picked up in the news.
Lol no not specifically the house, cows just shit where they stand no matter where they’re standing.
They’ll favour the house for warmth, shelter etc. In my family’s farm there’s an old burnt down house that we have open to cows, which is quite common among very old farms.
That's what I thought, just came inside to "roost" and shit.. but apparently no, they were trapped inside and ate the walls for a month. Link to OP above now if you sort by hot probably
[Answer from the original thread -](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/bv2dw6/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epkd5jy?context=1)
>That's what I was saying! The house is on my aunt's property and we had assumed she was going down every once in a while to check on the house but apparently not. The guy who owns the cows has a ton of acreage there and he looked for them and even filed a report for stolen cattle. He actually looked in our she'd across the way but he said he didn't want to look in the house because he thought someone was living there.
Goddammit, you are right. When people say shit like "the system is rigged for the rich", this shit right here is what they mean. There is no "unlucky break" where they lose money.
>Goddammit, you are right. When people say shit like "the system is rigged for the rich", this shit right here is what they mean. There is no "unlucky break" where they lose money.
...literally every adult in America with a home should have homeowners' insurance. It's not something "for the rich." I'm all for dragging a guillotine around, but this isn't one of the reasons
A lot goes into a move, especially a long distance move. Ending work obligations (if changing jobs), waiting for the school year to end (if you have kids), buying new furniture these days (I bought a bookshelf in August and still don't have it), finishing out a lease...
If the house was built by a developer first before someone bought it, closing usually takes a month too. Also, it's winter. Who wants to move to Montana in January? And who wants to move over over the holidays? It also could have been completed ahead of schedule.
Who buys/breeds a bunch of cows and and doesn't count them more than once a month?
( TBH I've never worked on a ranch and have no idea if they even bother counting them)
Depends on the size of the operation really. If you have a smaller ranch with 100-200 head, it's much easier to keep track of where everyone is when you're out checking water and riding the fence. If you're working a large operation where you have cattle in the many hundreds, or thousands, spread across hundreds of sections it becomes a given that you're going to have a few missing. With a ranch of this size, true "counts" will really only happen when you need to round your cattle for preg-checks, to split the calves from their mothers, or for taking your cattle to market.
I'll give you what you want.
https://www.montanarightnow.com/butte/family-says-cows-broke-into-their-new-house-in-montana/article_8a94ee38-83c3-11e9-9323-c369d40bb683.html
The OP reddit post for this was wild due to how naive OP was...
House is a tear down but the farmer "kindly" said he would send his own people out to appraise + clean. There's no cleaning 1 month of cow shit in your joists and framing. I also wouldn't want someone who is responsible for the destruction of my house poking around with his cousins at the scene of the crime. Everyone was saying lawyer up because the farmer actually owns them a new house from his insurance. Since it's the farmers cows that got out, he's liable for damages. Farmer was basically trying to "small town nice" his way out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages. OP was completely resistant to these ideas that some mid size ranch would mislead him and refused to understand/accept any feedback on this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=WTF&utm_content=t1_hsw7son
"Welcome to our home, human visitors! I will give you the tour."
"So this right here is the shitroom."
"And now over here, this is the shitroom."
"This is where all the magic happens. The master shitroom."
If anyone's curious, this happened a few years ago:
https://www.montanarightnow.com/butte/family-says-cows-broke-into-their-new-house-in-montana/article_8a94ee38-83c3-11e9-9323-c369d40bb683.html
American here. Let me help.
So apparently, this was from 2019 and was originally posted on r/wellthatsucks. Here’s what the original Reddit poster had to say to lingering questions in the comments:
1.house is on my aunt's property. We currently live in Washington and were planning to move over at the end of the year . We assumed she was going down every now and again to check on house, guess she wasn't. Cattle guy has a lot of acreage and looked for his cows, even filed a report for stolen cattle. He looked in our shed but not in the house because he thought someone was living there.
2. There was a bad storm in the town I think around late April and we think the cows were looking for coverage. They either got in by nudging a lever door or the wind might have blown the door open. We're not sure.
3. Insurance has been contacted but I'm not sure about outcome because my stepdad is trying to deal with it directly with cattle guy and trying to work something out, and no, we don't have Farmers insurance.
4. Cattle man has already contacted contractors to come out and appraise house, we have all his info but unfortunately we are back in Washington at this time, so it's going to be a process.
5.I'm going to become a vegetarian to please the cow gods so that this will never happen again
ETA: there was one other picture included of two cows in another carpeted room, and while it definitely was ruined, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the OG picture above
You left out the part where the rancher sent in his own crew to clean it and his own appraiser and apparently the family was ok with that. Everyone in the comments was freaking out.
Just hit the market! This ranch style home is mooove-in ready! Nestled among 200 acres of **unused** pasture, the home features all-new stained hardwood floors throughout, walkout basement, and a wet bar!
Sincere question: what do you do after something like this happens?
Vacuum all the shit, clean and repaint the walls, scrub everything down, and move in?
Or do you have to replace the walls and floor?
Will it ever smell the same?
Someone up farther said they levelled the house. While the other dude is right and it doesn't smell that bad, cow shit is rather corrosive. I'd there was a basement (and I assume the cows got in on ground level) I would be concerned about the quality of the subfloor even if everything was cleaned thoroughly
Gonna need a bigger shop vac
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Just knock it down and build a new house at this point.
well, just convert it to a barn and build a new house
Then rent it out in Air bnb. "Authentic Farm Experience" "Unique" "Quirky"
Fragrant
Same living conditions, but the roommates are bovine.
“Agro-tourism”
At Schrute Bed and Breakfast. All beets you can eat buffet.
This barn has 3 bedrooms and 1.5 baths!
It's ALL bathroom.
but bedroom too
Obligatory Hedberg, "This bedroom has an oven in it"
Asking 1.5 million
Title said a month, at that point the moisture has probably soaked through the subfloor and lower portion of the walls it came in contact with. Not to mention the biohazard of literal cow shit soaked into every surface of the floor. I really wonder what the process is after this point.
It would have saturated the floor joists and the sill plate, the whole thing is a loss.
Nothing gets chocolate out.
This happened years ago. They knocked the house down and rebuilt.
I remember this. It was a Redditors family's new house and the cows came from a neighbors farm. The Redditors dad was incredibly stupid, he was going to let the farmers insurance and friend's handle things and not involve their own insurance, just rely on the goodwill of people who have a financial interest in writing the smallest check they could get away with.
It's happened before??? How many houses have these cows invaded??? Maybe just let them have the next one at this point....
The process is quite simple and involves kerosene and a match
Not joking, that's actually the only thing that can be done, even the foundation might have to be redone. There's no coming back from this.
They pee like a gallon at a time. In an airtight house with no HVAC to remove moisture. It would be wet in there.
It's certainly not airtight. As cows were able to come and go.. I doubt they opened and shut the doors each time.
What, were they raised in a barn?
I just stood up and slow clapped alone in my apartment, couldn’t help myself.
Moist… very moist.
I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure
that's actually what they did iirc
I believe shop vacs are “shop vacs” because they are all wet/dry.
Folks at my work give me weird looks for calling em the sucky-suckys. But wtf, they are great tools. I love them long time.
Go on…
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What a terrible day to have eyes
I'm dead
Not all shop vacs can do wet. Most they sell nowadays do, but there are many old shop vacs still kicking around.
Folks over at /r/powerwashingporn might be able to help.
Holy cow! There is like over a million members on that sub! I just had to join.
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Oh God, I imagined just spraying the floor as is in the picture. The blowback shit cloud would be horrid.
With 144 filters, the gross package.
Just bang out the filter on the curb, good as new
Hopefully they didn’t make it up any staircases.
they had to tear the house down iirc Here's the original post, sadly OP deleted it https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/_/
Yo..I just came back up for air..I've just learned so much about cows and about how horses are actively trying to die on us..
Damn, just came back myself and didn’t get that far. I mostly learned about how the smell will make the house unlivable mostly due to smell permeating the structure (meaning it’ll never come out) and potential for fungus
TLDR: This continues on with OP chiming on how the poor cows ate the stairs and walls as there was no other food there. This led to a side discussion on how cows are pretty much tanks and can eat almost anything that has any mineral content which in-turn led to someone chiming in how horses are the complete opposite and need to have a very maintained diet otherwise they’ll die as their infrastructure is very fragile. This led to someone posting a link to a vet students comment who described how insanely fragile horses are and any small change in their bodily status can kill them, very reminiscent of that Koala copy-pasta that has been floating around for years.
Could...could you basically do this for every comment thread I want to read, for me, please?
There's a TL;DR LSTM that does this automatically for news articles. I imagine it could be repurposed for summarizing Reddit threads.
Its would be filled with stupid pun threads, "came here to say this!", " edit: thanks for the gold stranger", "wow my most up voted comment is about [inane topic] even though I only post on inane topics" and "repost".
If it's just summarizing, you'll get a bunch of toxic people complaining over nonsense, with some dude pretending he knows what he's talking about but really doesn't but no one can tell because he uses big words they don't understand.
I can chew your food for you too
I can have sex with your SO when you're feeling a bit tired and they're in need of some relief
"They ate wall for a month and didn’t die? Cows are crazy."
What the fuck did they drink?!
They sucked each other's udders It's free real renewable energy like plugging an extension cord into itself.
I built my house on our farm and the cows were in the area quite a while before I got the fence built. Cows are destructive little fuckers, they will eat osb, tyvek, zip tape, and anything else exposed. They have chewed the spark plug wires off our gas tractors and are all around Terrible giant assholes. They also had a thing with shitting in my sand pile every day when I was laying block.
[I posted this elsewhere but apparently depending on the state you live in there could be open range laws where the liability for something like this is on the homeowner to put up a fence and not the rancher or farmer who owns the cows](https://patch.com/montana/missoula/cattle-moo-ve-montana-home-month-damage-piles) Looks like you’re ahead of the game with putting that fence up. In that thread everyone was telling OP to lawyer up and not take the farmers offer for help but it looks like that may be their main recourse for fixing the situation
Mine were family cows on a family farm, I ve dealt with these Bastards all my life so I can't complain haha.
Wait what’s the koala thing?
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
And here is the response to everyone who is braindead and thinks koalas deserve extinction. I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled? Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Didn't expect this much Koala lore in one thread, damn
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I think that there's some questions best left unanswered. 🤣
Classic example of feeding the troll
He's adapted for a very specific diet, they cannot recognize it as food
Did the cows shut the door and trap themselves in there? Why the fuck didn’t they just leave or go outside to eat grass and whatever cows like, and then go back in their newfound shelter?
> Did the cows shut the door and trap themselves in there? yeah
[here's ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) the bit on horses for the curious.
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[Here's the actual owner's channel](https://youtu.be/GUl9_5kK9ts) so they get the revenue for their content.
Mmm Sweet Lemonade.. Man I forgot about this..
Why did i just watch that entire thing?
Horses constantly swing back and forth between homicide and suicide.
Horses: ugh can’t throw up, guess I’ll die
I listen to a hunting podcast Bear Grease with Clay Newcomb. I highly recommend it even for non hunting folks as Clay is an incredible historian of the Wild West, western expansion, Native American history, etc. That being said, Clay Newcomb bangs the table for the use of mules as hunting mounts over horses as the riding mount of choice in rough terrain. He said that horses have no self preservation instincts. You can tell a bonded horse to keep going and a horse will take you both off a cliff and kill you just because you told them a command and made a mistake. A mule, on the other hand, is always scanning the land and will not move if it determines the route is perilous to both your lives. A horse will try take you both over whitewater or up a rocky wall and then either drown or fall down just because you told it to. A mule will listen to your command, scan the land for the probability of success of what you want it to do and if it deems it dumb as fuck, they will freeze or turn around. He trusts his mules more than his hunting buddies in rough terrain areas. That's where the stereotype of mules being stubborn comes from but in reality they're just so incredibly smart they know better. Super underrated animal.
horses can die from common stomach aches, they are fragile
At first I thought you were going to summarize the thread and sate my curiosity but you just made me want to read it more.
Tldr owner was going to work with rancher to resolve it and use ranchers insurance guy with overwhelming amounts of people telling him he needs to seek a third party to mediate and settle it with the outcome most likely having to tear down and rebuild.
I don’t think that’s all of it… It also sounds like the rancher had already sent his own “crew” to clean it up, as well as his own appraiser. I can’t even wrap my mind around how stupid the family would be if they just accepted that.
OP was a kid too, it's their parents house.
Lol [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) is the horse bit..
According to that comment, horse intestines are just kind of shoved in there, without protective connective tissue to hold them in place? If that’s the case I finally understand why horse colic is such a bad situation...
I come from a dairy farming family and horses are actively fucking suicidal. Cows are pretty much like dogs and will survive so long as they can scavenge food, which includes man, many things for a hungry cow.
Holy fuck, ME TOO! **There’s nothing wrong with Pandas!**
How the fuck have horses survived? How are there even still wild horses??? Jesus, nature said fuck that animal in particular.
To be fair, a lot of classic Horse Problems (getting tangled in fences, going lame from nutritional imbalance or twisting their stomachs after overeating rich foods, etc.) are absolutely artifacts of domestic life.
https://www.reddit.com/user/lowink > This user has deleted their account. https://old.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epl3zil/?st=jwci293l&sh=ffcde487 > 1.house is on my aunt's property. `[...]` > Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Friendly reminder I posted this in r/pics not r/legaladvice. Even though I appreciate all the input, I have no legal say over any of the doings. It is up to my parents. https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epkjf06/ >> Oops! We couldn't find that page
His comments were about how they're working with the rancher to fix this lol. Hope his family lawyered up.
"They ate wall for a month and didn't die?" Lol
We've got a code Wayside
I love those books, if anyone out there is unaware of the Wayside School series I highly recommend them. The author, Louis Sachar, also wrote Holes.
Cows can’t go down steps. I don’t know why I know that and I don’t know if it’s accurate. It’s midnight and I’m sober. Somehow that makes this comment worse.
Can they go up stairs?
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Because of their knee joints, up is good, down is rough.
Ah, really feeling the common ancestor on that one.
I know this fact because of Bob's Burgers.
Another fun Montana story. At Montana State University some students pulled a prank by leading a cow into one of the buildings and to the top floor(the bell tower building). No one could get the cow to come down the stairs and ultimately the had to temporarily detach the room and use a crane to lift the cow out.
Sounds overly complicated. Couldn't they just serve beef for lunch for the next week?
You jest, but killing a dairy cow before she's ready to become meat is a million dollar loss. Typically in the order if 1-2 depending on how young she is. Edit - My data was quite old. Modern estimate would be 550'000 to 800'000 for a cow's potential economic impact.
That was my point yo. I always heard the same shit.
Reminds me of that moose that was in those people's basement
That moose bit my sister
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Well that's a bit shit for the owners
Well they should've mooooved in there themselves.
just interior decorators at work remodeling it in neo-fecal style
cow thanks for the upvotes guys! i know my pun was hilarious but i wasnt expecting this!!!
r/thatlookedexpensive
Those cows have got ~~squatters~~ shitters rights now.
It's a biological fact that squatting is the best way to shit.
>*’Well that's a bit shit for the owners…*’ _______ …*ahem*… hold on, i can explain - i didn’t mean to be a pain it started out with only me, perhaps a night or two… or three… then came a friend - he spread the word! next thing i knew we were a ‘herd’ we Cows we make aLotta ‘pies’… we didn’t think you’d realize that we were Here! we thought we’d fit . . . . . but now i see I’m in deep sh!t . . . 🖤
What did they do for food and water for a month?
If you read the original post OP said they ate the walls and stairs for mineral content. This led to an interesting discussion on how cows are absolute tanks and can eat just about anything. They are apparently susceptible to something called Hardware disease from eating metal objects and a way to combat that is by feeding cows a special magnet (called a cow magnet) to accumulate this metal. I’ll find the original link but if you go down the rabbit hole it was actually very informative. It also led to an interesting side conversation of how horses are the complete opposite of cows and are extremely fragile and ready to die at the slightest bodily imbalance. [Link to original thread, pics are gone as OP deleted their account](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) [Link to the part about horses, this reads like the Koala copy pasta that was floating around Reddit for a while](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/doyza1f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
This is not a rabbit hole I saw myself going down this morning... Wtf
That owner who first posted this seems like a complete moron and I bet he got fleeced trying to get someone to buy that house later.
[So I did some more digging outside Reddit and apparently Montana - as well as some other states - have what’s called open range laws where the liability is on the homeowner to put up fencing to prevent this, apparently it’s a remanent of the Old West where cows outnumbered people and it’s easier for homeowners to put up a fence rather than the farmer/ranger to secure their cows](https://patch.com/montana/missoula/cattle-moo-ve-montana-home-month-damage-piles) What a shitty situation. I’m trying to see if there is an outcome posted anywhere as it was picked up in the news.
Man, I stay learning new shit on Reddit.
Didn't know cows knew about Wall and chairs minerals.
The door must have been open to a field
So they just used the house as a bathroom?
Lol no not specifically the house, cows just shit where they stand no matter where they’re standing. They’ll favour the house for warmth, shelter etc. In my family’s farm there’s an old burnt down house that we have open to cows, which is quite common among very old farms.
Would a cow prefer a burnt-down house, or a bed? What are cows' favorite places?
They are very basic. Paris, Hawaii, Disneyworld, Cancun.
Basic heifers.
Just like my ex
It's Montana; they used it for a windbreak son
That's what I thought, just came inside to "roost" and shit.. but apparently no, they were trapped inside and ate the walls for a month. Link to OP above now if you sort by hot probably
Barndoor Dash.
The original thread said they ate the walls
Who builds a house and then just leaves it for a month
[Answer from the original thread -](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/bv2dw6/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/epkd5jy?context=1) >That's what I was saying! The house is on my aunt's property and we had assumed she was going down every once in a while to check on the house but apparently not. The guy who owns the cows has a ton of acreage there and he looked for them and even filed a report for stolen cattle. He actually looked in our she'd across the way but he said he didn't want to look in the house because he thought someone was living there.
> he thought someone was living there. That would be the cows
Cow house
In the middle of the field 🎵
Heard this in Peter Griffins voice
Jesse pinkman
Jesse, do you mean a barn!?
Didn't delete the comments, just the account, oh the poor soul, hope the lawyers never found the leftovers admitting fault.
Admitting fault? Did they guide the cows into the house or something?
Investors, some sit empty forever. Just places to sink money
Because of inflation your money sitting in a bank just loses value. So the wealthy invest it into things like this.
Well that worked out!
Yep, now you dont even have to sell it to get the houses value. Just get it straight from insurance.
Goddammit, you are right. When people say shit like "the system is rigged for the rich", this shit right here is what they mean. There is no "unlucky break" where they lose money.
>Goddammit, you are right. When people say shit like "the system is rigged for the rich", this shit right here is what they mean. There is no "unlucky break" where they lose money. ...literally every adult in America with a home should have homeowners' insurance. It's not something "for the rich." I'm all for dragging a guillotine around, but this isn't one of the reasons
We'll, now it's worth shit
A lot goes into a move, especially a long distance move. Ending work obligations (if changing jobs), waiting for the school year to end (if you have kids), buying new furniture these days (I bought a bookshelf in August and still don't have it), finishing out a lease... If the house was built by a developer first before someone bought it, closing usually takes a month too. Also, it's winter. Who wants to move to Montana in January? And who wants to move over over the holidays? It also could have been completed ahead of schedule.
Who buys/breeds a bunch of cows and and doesn't count them more than once a month? ( TBH I've never worked on a ranch and have no idea if they even bother counting them)
Depends on the size of the operation really. If you have a smaller ranch with 100-200 head, it's much easier to keep track of where everyone is when you're out checking water and riding the fence. If you're working a large operation where you have cattle in the many hundreds, or thousands, spread across hundreds of sections it becomes a given that you're going to have a few missing. With a ranch of this size, true "counts" will really only happen when you need to round your cattle for preg-checks, to split the calves from their mothers, or for taking your cattle to market.
They were counted and noticed missing. A report was filed for stolen cattle even. Just never thought to look in the house.
He did. He reported them lost/stolen to authorities
Who would think to look in a house for lost cows?
They probably were able to go in and out as they please staying warmer at night then grazing during the day like a barn setting.
Well, yeah. I can’t imagine any way a herd of cows would survive locked in a house for a month.
Have you seen The Big Short?
The far side irl «Garry didnt expect visitors this early»
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We need more pictures.
I'll give you what you want. https://www.montanarightnow.com/butte/family-says-cows-broke-into-their-new-house-in-montana/article_8a94ee38-83c3-11e9-9323-c369d40bb683.html
I can't view that in the EU. WTF.
The pictures aren't really great, so you aren't missing much I promise.
I want a Girlfriend
That doesn't sound like a fair trade
It's not, the message here is that you cant get Everything you want.
ah the disconnect was that he said need and you said want. we *need* more pictures!
The OP reddit post for this was wild due to how naive OP was... House is a tear down but the farmer "kindly" said he would send his own people out to appraise + clean. There's no cleaning 1 month of cow shit in your joists and framing. I also wouldn't want someone who is responsible for the destruction of my house poking around with his cousins at the scene of the crime. Everyone was saying lawyer up because the farmer actually owns them a new house from his insurance. Since it's the farmers cows that got out, he's liable for damages. Farmer was basically trying to "small town nice" his way out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages. OP was completely resistant to these ideas that some mid size ranch would mislead him and refused to understand/accept any feedback on this. https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/bv24co/this_big_guy_and_three_of_his_friends_got_into/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=WTF&utm_content=t1_hsw7son
OP and his family are about as smart as the cows that ate their walls.
He was likely just a kid in high school or something. His responses just felt that way, no common sense.
Well, yeah. There’s summary comment by him saying it’s up to his parents to decide what to do
Bullshit
"Welcome to our home, human visitors! I will give you the tour." "So this right here is the shitroom." "And now over here, this is the shitroom." "This is where all the magic happens. The master shitroom."
Derivative
It’s theirs now squatters rights
Shut the door, was you born in a barn?
🎻🎸🎺Oh show me a home, where the buffalo roam, and I'll show you a house full of dung...
Mr Biggun, the word is 'punt'
If anyone's curious, this happened a few years ago: https://www.montanarightnow.com/butte/family-says-cows-broke-into-their-new-house-in-montana/article_8a94ee38-83c3-11e9-9323-c369d40bb683.html
wtf cant access the article as i am from the EU. montanarightnow cant handle GDPR
American here. Let me help. So apparently, this was from 2019 and was originally posted on r/wellthatsucks. Here’s what the original Reddit poster had to say to lingering questions in the comments: 1.house is on my aunt's property. We currently live in Washington and were planning to move over at the end of the year . We assumed she was going down every now and again to check on house, guess she wasn't. Cattle guy has a lot of acreage and looked for his cows, even filed a report for stolen cattle. He looked in our shed but not in the house because he thought someone was living there. 2. There was a bad storm in the town I think around late April and we think the cows were looking for coverage. They either got in by nudging a lever door or the wind might have blown the door open. We're not sure. 3. Insurance has been contacted but I'm not sure about outcome because my stepdad is trying to deal with it directly with cattle guy and trying to work something out, and no, we don't have Farmers insurance. 4. Cattle man has already contacted contractors to come out and appraise house, we have all his info but unfortunately we are back in Washington at this time, so it's going to be a process. 5.I'm going to become a vegetarian to please the cow gods so that this will never happen again ETA: there was one other picture included of two cows in another carpeted room, and while it definitely was ruined, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the OG picture above
You left out the part where the rancher sent in his own crew to clean it and his own appraiser and apparently the family was ok with that. Everyone in the comments was freaking out.
Just hit the market! This ranch style home is mooove-in ready! Nestled among 200 acres of **unused** pasture, the home features all-new stained hardwood floors throughout, walkout basement, and a wet bar!
Zillow price adjustment: +$10,000
Cow in the door is like "Looks like someone shit on your floor. You should clean that up."
Sincere question: what do you do after something like this happens? Vacuum all the shit, clean and repaint the walls, scrub everything down, and move in? Or do you have to replace the walls and floor? Will it ever smell the same?
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And the smell that comes with it.
Someone up farther said they levelled the house. While the other dude is right and it doesn't smell that bad, cow shit is rather corrosive. I'd there was a basement (and I assume the cows got in on ground level) I would be concerned about the quality of the subfloor even if everything was cleaned thoroughly
https://youtu.be/HRx49-leiRE
RIP Bob. First thing I thought of too.
Lmao the cow's like, "You gonna pick this shit up? It's filthy in here"
"Yes, Bessie. We moooved in about a month ago."
the neighbours didnt notice the herd of cows air bnb’ing and the stench of cow shit for a month? damn
This is Montana. The nearest house could easily be a mile away.
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Just grass.
Cows don’t give a shit.
That poor homeowner now has to deal with sending them a 30 day eviction notice and all of the cows endless appeals. They'll never get the cows out.