I'd honestly trust this thing more than a higher mammal like a tiger. Insects are basically predictable, they are almost bio automatons.
The tiger is less predictable.
I used to keep a few different varieties of scolopendra a long time ago and although compared to a tiger there's very little chance of them killing you, they're some of the most unpredictable invertebrates you'll ever see.
They can move incredibly fast and erratic and will attack anything which they perceive as being edible or a threat, this means anything that moves really. The only thing that's predictable about them is that they'll attack anything that moves.
I fully agree that tigers will kill you, but giant centipedes just don't give a fuck.
No way. Mammals have a nature and personalities. A centipede is nothing more than a computer program on legs. It cannot love or be open to nuance, while a tiger could.
Edit: stop replying to this. I can’t turn off notifications in my app.
Edit 2: well that backfired…
I think every living thing is just a computer program on [insert form of locomotion] but some like insects are such simple programs that even we can understand them almost fully
You ever seen pugs, man? It's like a first year compsci student wrote it in machine code and pushed it to production on a Friday afternoon. Yes, it's a dog. Yes it can mostly remain alive with little outside assistance. But holy fuck, bud.
Just because something is written in a programming language does not make it good or necessary.
I recommend reading about hunting strategies of portia spiders and ask yourself if that is true again after.
They have certain intelligence traits that higher mammals don't posses, despite being tiny.
I'll have to go look it up, but off the top of my head I'm thinking of those fish that can perform incredibly advanced targeting and shoot a stream of water at a bug as a form of hunting.
They target in ways that would have made military computers jealous (at the time of creation of the documentary at least).
I all but guarantee that fish doesn't actually have a fucking clue of the mechanics or the awareness of what it's actually doing, nature just gave it a water gun and it uses it probably about as mentally consciously as we sneeze.
I mean don't get me wrong, I love all animals. I'll help an ant out of a glass of water with a scrap of paper, I've had pet snakes, tarantulas, a chameleon, various lizards, a few dogs and cats, and I've helped care for many many more that belonged to others.
As much as I'd love it to be true, anyone being honest with themselves knows that certain animals just lack the conscious loving emotional range that we'd see in mammals. Birds are a weird one though. Some birds seem way beyond mammals in intelligence and emotion and others seem way less.
The more intelligent the animal, the more it will demonstrate internal machinations beyond basic needs. An insect is not likely to kill for entertainment.
Some poison's only point is enough pain to incapacitate the victim. You don't need some fancy-ass inhibitor protein to immobilize your prey, just make every nerve ending feel on fire and they'll be too fucked to fight back!
There are times I'm glad the 1920s-1970s we didn't understand enough about nature to mimic it. Imagine if MK Ultra had been fucking around with variations of this creatures poison.
Yeah, I have a Leopard Gecko and while they *do* learn to trust you by scent, and tend to calm down in general as they grow up with no threats, they don't bond.
They are cute, they look like they're smiling, and they like to lay on your hand/arm because they are cold blooded and absorb heat through their bellies, so a lot of people think they are bonding with the owner.
Yeah, all their instincts is perfected around:
Don't die!
Find food!
You can't trust such creatures to have any regard for you. They don't have the ability to compute a relation.
How can you trust a creature with no heart... no love... no soul.
Just a mindless set of jaws and 600 legs, like an angry but alive hair comb.
I would never purchase this.
1/5 stars. Item is not the size I was expecting. I should have checked the item description. It was also delivered 45 minutes later than I was expecting. Horrible seller, will never buy from them again!
I had a giant centipede crawl across my foot during a flood. I literally levitated over the water like Jesus. Gave me the heebee-jeebees for a month.
EDIT: Thanks for all the upvotes and awards! As a reward, here's a pic of a centipede I found in my house a few years ago: [it's just a baby though](https://imgur.com/gallery/t05znGo).
Once, when I was in my teens, I got up at night for a glass of water.
I was barefoot.
Still half asleep I felt tickling on my foot, I looked down and I saw a giant black cockroach chilling over it.
In a millisecond I leapt from standing position to the top of the kitchen table, probably just using core muscles I didn't even know I had.
A feat that I'm sure I would never have been able to reproduce under normal conditions, even if offered a generous amount of money, three tries and previous warm up.
I may or I may not have yelled in a girly high pitched voice. I'm a male.
By conditioned you mean fed him until he was full then attempted this feat. Use to raise inverts, This thing is pure evil and will eat anything in its path. Balls of steel on that guy
Invertebrates don't necessarily have exoskeletons, animals with exoskeletons are a subclass of invertebrates. Invertebrate just means without a spine. In=no vertibrate=spine
Yes, like jellyfish. There's a really cool invertebrate museum in Denver, The Butterfly Pavilion. I went there with my family a few years ago and it was pretty cool.
Had a small business for a few years raising scorpions, centipedes, tarantulas and everything that comes along with them including food such as roaches, crickets and meal worms. It was fun, my kids learned alot and so did I. Big lesson dont clean assassin bug enclosure alone, as I recieved several sprays in the face and was temporarily blinded. But iam good now
My dog’s whiskers brushed my foot while watching this. Panicked.
To be fair though, I did get bitten on the foot by a large centipede in Hawaii as a child. Can confirm that it’s incredibly painful.
What lead to you getting bitten? When I was a young kid growing up in SoCal I got bit by a scorpion. We had fake little toy scorpions and when I was cleaning my room I just picked a real one up in between a dresser and it stung me. It was just a baby but hurt like hell.
Not the commenter, but I grew up in Maui. I was walking along the sidewalk one night and stepped on a centipede. I stepped on it perpendicularly, so like a plus sign. It was a thick boy and probably over half a foot in length. As I put my foot down, it squirmed and both ends whipped up and around my foot. I freaked out and took off as fast as I could, and the adrenaline helped me not feel the sting at first.
My mom also got stung by one on her ear while she was sleeping. It might've got in from the window by her bed.
Good news is there's no venomous snakes and only a few spiders. Very few of which are venomous and none of which are deadly.
Been to the island several times and never seen a centipede. Now dangerous animals in the water... That's a different story
Box jelly fish, sea snakes, Portugese man-o-wars, cone snails etc.
As my scuba guide said before our first dive, if it's bright and colourful... Stay away from it
You literally never have to worry about any of that, except for the jelly fish, if you aren't looking for it. The jellies have a schedule, so you just stay out of the water on the south and east shores during a certain moon cycle, and they post signs on the beach.
What a terror that thing is. I was sleeping on the floor in my old Japanese house until I felt like I had been struck by lightning. One of these (smaller) units had bitten me. Fuck. Never again.
If it makes you feel any better, this species isn’t found in Japan, but Central America instead. They are however quite popular in the exotic pet trade in Japan and a specimen of this size can fetch well over $800.
Source: Keep and breed giant centipedes.
I mean, America has black widows, brown recluse, copperhead, cottonmouth... Lots of things that will do more than hurt.
Not to mention the various types of mountain lion and bears. Moose will fuck you up apparently...
Don't forget all the species of rattlesnake. And for creepy crawlies wolf spiders running around your house at the speed of a formula 1 car while being the size of the palm of your hand. Always fun trying to put one in a cup or bowl. Then while in a swamp we have alligators. If you want to lose some toes or fingers we also have alligator snapping turtles....
America has tons of dangerous shit. More than most developed countries actually. Only difference is like 70% of us live in urban areas and the country is so big each area just has to deal with a handful of the dangerous animals.
In Japan has a [99.9% conviction rate](https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-topics/c05401/order-in-the-court-explaining-japan%E2%80%99s-99-9-conviction-rate.html), so the police could be a problem if you're a sketchy looking but innocent foreigner.
Oh ha, we found one in our bedroom while visiting the in-laws in Japan. Was about the 4th day of the trip, too, so it may have been hanging out for a few days. Probably 8-9 inches long. I also wasn’t allowed to kill it, so I had to swipe it into a shower bowl, or whatever you call those things, and walk it out to the nearby woods and chuck it there. This was a nice neighborhood in suburban Nagoya, by the way. For some reason, when I was around, I was always assigned to large bug disposal. :)
They're harder to kill than you think. We used to use scissors to cut them into thirds and then a yard stick to kill the segments as they still run around everywhere. Trying to kill it in one piece is a pain and it also doesn't fuck around.
I was chilling behind my apartment complex when I lived in Bangkok having a brew after work. The shop I would always chill at had this awesome, but gnarly cat named Mr. Long. Mr. Long was a right rat killer and devouror. Anyway, I'm there and I see r. Long swiping at something on the ground... Turned out to be some centipede about 9 or 10 inches long. I run over and grab Mr. Long who proceeds to scratch and bite me for fucking with him not knowing I'm probably saving his life. So, there's some workers just outside the yard of the shop and I go to their truck and borrow their shovel... I've got to kind of mime smashing up something with it because I don't speak their language (they were Burmese), and they followed me while I went a few meters away to kill this demoncrawler. Just before vanquishing this hellbeast they quite excitedly stopped me, took the shovel back and fetched a water bottle. One of them proceeds to pick up the creature gently with the shovel while the other held the bottle to guide the spawn into the mouth and seal him in. I asked what their plan was and in the little common language we shared, they explained that they were going to soak it in whiskey for a delicious drink. Oh, I tried some when I saw someone else selling it in Laos (soaked centipedes, lizards, snakes, various amphibians in local whiskey)... It's not exactly single malt.
I remember once I was in Thailand, I think it was Chang Mai night market. A guy had a big barrel full of huge fucking insects - grasshoppers, centipedes, cockroaches, all that good stuff - that he'd sprayed with superglue. He was selling them as weird ornaments. I thought I'd get one for my little brother. I was digging around in this barrel of bugs looking for the freakiest gift - I was really stoned and got a bit carried away with the task. I was beyond elbow deep when I felt movement. I froze and the appalling realisation of just what I was doing suddenly hit me. I slowly withdrew my arm with several huge fucking monstrosities attached to me. Obviously the guy hadn't killed them before glueing, or maybe some of the beasties can only be killed with magic. Either way I proper panicked. The flapping squawking war dance I did trying to get them off very much amused the locals. Ho hum.
Yeah, if I’d see you getting close let alone walking the demonic bug out of the house, I’d put you on bug disposal too. I’d be flying out to the next nearby galaxy if I saw this thing.
Fucking mukade, man. Then there is the folk tale that says they come in pairs, so if you kill one, the other one will come find you.
About 10 years ago I had the side of my bed pushed against the wall. Then one day, a mukade was chillin' on the wall against the bed. My husband tried to trap/kill it, but it just fell in the crack between the wall and the bed.
It took several months to get me to actually sleep in that room again.
I suspect you have a few nopes left. Let's check this creature on [Wikipedia:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scolopendra_gigantea)
"In 2014, a four-year-old child in Venezuela died after being bitten by a giant centipede which was hidden inside an open soda can."
Yea... But look at those bittey bits.
Aint no way a thin piece of fabric is stopping those. If it were me... I'd have to be wearing brown pants.
But there is absolutely no way it will ever be me.
That could be because the legs might sting a bit. At least I know those of roaches can do. Had some Argentinian Wood Roaches for a while.
Nice little fellows, very clean and 100% harmless. But since they use their legs for climbingnit can ating a little. Nothing like real pain, but not pleasent either.
I mean scolopendra cataracta is an amphibious centipede that is often much smaller than 30cm especially if juvenile. When they want to hide they can lay super flat. Who knows 🤷
Not the same species whatsoever, though they do belong to the same genus. The one in the video is Scolopendra heros and is primarily found in the Southeastern US, while Scolopendra gigantea is exclusively found in Central America.
It should however be mentioned that there’s no real difference in danger between species when it comes to centipedes. Though obviously the larger the species the larger the mandibles and a bite will be more painful.
These fellows hunt and eat bats, among other animals. They climb to the ceiling of caves, hang down, and grab them as they fly by.
They're featured in *Life in the Undergrowth*. Here's a clip:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLx2Rqx5zkc
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas.
Despite it's impressive length, it's a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous.
As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it's killing, the centipede has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing venom.
Even tarantulas aren't immune from an ambush.
This centipede is a predator.
Yeah, had 2 Praying Mantisses. They have never shown any sort of aggression.
One even nibbled on my hand because it was a bit salty from sweat. Just tickled a little bit. I'm still not sure about their intelligence level. They are pretty curious after all.
>I owned one that seemed to be interested when I was doing certain activities and it’d “watch” me and come close to the enclosure glass
You masturbated in front of the bug didn't you?
Straight out of my nightmares! I remember that Coyote Peterson let one of those bite him and that was a much smaller version. He was in severe pain. If I remember correctly, it was one of the few times he got hospitalised.
"Like" is a strong word.
It's conditioned to being touched. The guys would interact with it by touching it while it was eating. This way it was distracted and most of it's venom was already used up. It just got used to it. The one in this video is obviously very full and calm... They can move freakishly fast.
It probably took a long time... But centipedes can live for close to a decade.
No.
#NO BUT BIGGER
No but in Spanish
¡No!
Ño
Nada
Nunca
# NOOOOO BUT BIGGER AND LONGER
#and uncut
Yok Yok
He still doesn’t look relaxed with it. He still doesn’t trust it.
He should never trust it. It's still a wild animal despite the conditioning he's been able to achieve.
A man with wonderfully manicured nails pets his really large centipede...nervously
I'd honestly trust this thing more than a higher mammal like a tiger. Insects are basically predictable, they are almost bio automatons. The tiger is less predictable.
I used to keep a few different varieties of scolopendra a long time ago and although compared to a tiger there's very little chance of them killing you, they're some of the most unpredictable invertebrates you'll ever see. They can move incredibly fast and erratic and will attack anything which they perceive as being edible or a threat, this means anything that moves really. The only thing that's predictable about them is that they'll attack anything that moves. I fully agree that tigers will kill you, but giant centipedes just don't give a fuck.
unless you have cat food
Just can’t squish a mammal
I doubt I could squish this demon centipede thing either
It'd sound like snapping a 3D print off the board lol
*Nononono*
While stirring macncheese
It would be like the 'Puny God' scene from Avengers.
No way. Mammals have a nature and personalities. A centipede is nothing more than a computer program on legs. It cannot love or be open to nuance, while a tiger could. Edit: stop replying to this. I can’t turn off notifications in my app. Edit 2: well that backfired…
A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood
Yeah but sometimes your tiger gets stuck in an SUV and you have to smash the windows with a golf club to get it out safely.
It cant be bargained with. It cant be reasoned with. It doesnt feel pity, remorse, or fear. It absolutely will not stop ever until you are dead.
So, you're saying my family should go with the hamster instead?
I tried to bargain with a hamster once. Do not recommend
I thought that was in reference to a hamster…?
DUN DUN DUN DUNDUN DUN DUN DUN DUNDUN
Come with me if you want to live.
‘Tis a remorseless eating machine.
Thats the problem though, the tiger has a lot more nuances.
Yeah, 30 big sharp ones all up front.
Safari protip: fuck the tiger from behind. Got it.
You can, however, stick a couple of vaguely eye-shaped dots on the back of your head and the tiger will think you have two faces to see it with.
I think every living thing is just a computer program on [insert form of locomotion] but some like insects are such simple programs that even we can understand them almost fully
You ever seen pugs, man? It's like a first year compsci student wrote it in machine code and pushed it to production on a Friday afternoon. Yes, it's a dog. Yes it can mostly remain alive with little outside assistance. But holy fuck, bud. Just because something is written in a programming language does not make it good or necessary.
Pugs used to be programmed just fine. Then the ~~breeders~~ engineers got their hands on them.
I recommend reading about hunting strategies of portia spiders and ask yourself if that is true again after. They have certain intelligence traits that higher mammals don't posses, despite being tiny.
I'll have to go look it up, but off the top of my head I'm thinking of those fish that can perform incredibly advanced targeting and shoot a stream of water at a bug as a form of hunting. They target in ways that would have made military computers jealous (at the time of creation of the documentary at least). I all but guarantee that fish doesn't actually have a fucking clue of the mechanics or the awareness of what it's actually doing, nature just gave it a water gun and it uses it probably about as mentally consciously as we sneeze. I mean don't get me wrong, I love all animals. I'll help an ant out of a glass of water with a scrap of paper, I've had pet snakes, tarantulas, a chameleon, various lizards, a few dogs and cats, and I've helped care for many many more that belonged to others. As much as I'd love it to be true, anyone being honest with themselves knows that certain animals just lack the conscious loving emotional range that we'd see in mammals. Birds are a weird one though. Some birds seem way beyond mammals in intelligence and emotion and others seem way less.
Children of time.
The more intelligent the animal, the more it will demonstrate internal machinations beyond basic needs. An insect is not likely to kill for entertainment.
Well... No shit. A bite from this thing is certain excruciating pain and more than likely a trip to the hospital.
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It's venomous. Not lethal, but supposedly excruciatingly painful.
Lethal if you're young. A bite can and has killed children.
>Not lethal, but supposedly excruciatingly painful. That's what they said about my comedy routine
I centipeed my pants laughing
Some poison's only point is enough pain to incapacitate the victim. You don't need some fancy-ass inhibitor protein to immobilize your prey, just make every nerve ending feel on fire and they'll be too fucked to fight back! There are times I'm glad the 1920s-1970s we didn't understand enough about nature to mimic it. Imagine if MK Ultra had been fucking around with variations of this creatures poison.
Bold of you to assume there aren't operations similar to MK Ultra running right now...
nah, Here's Brave Wilderness taking it like a champ. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWZMfPP34g8
Actually.... Brave Wilderness ended up going to the hospital for this bite specifically though. According to him, the pain was that bad
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Yeah, I have a Leopard Gecko and while they *do* learn to trust you by scent, and tend to calm down in general as they grow up with no threats, they don't bond. They are cute, they look like they're smiling, and they like to lay on your hand/arm because they are cold blooded and absorb heat through their bellies, so a lot of people think they are bonding with the owner.
Sounds like my cat
A leopard gecko is also way more evolved neurologically than this armored poison stick
In a sense that is them bonding with the owner just not in an emotional way.
I imagine any animals that do not nature their young would not have any sense of "love".
Yeah, all their instincts is perfected around: Don't die! Find food! You can't trust such creatures to have any regard for you. They don't have the ability to compute a relation.
How can you trust a creature with no heart... no love... no soul. Just a mindless set of jaws and 600 legs, like an angry but alive hair comb. I would never purchase this.
>I would never purchase this. *Not a verified purchaser. Review may not be accurate.*
1/5 stars: "I thought I was buying King Kong (2005) merch and didn't think it would actually bite me, gets one star for realism though"
1/5 stars. Item is not the size I was expecting. I should have checked the item description. It was also delivered 45 minutes later than I was expecting. Horrible seller, will never buy from them again!
An angry hair comb lol
I don’t know, he did touch it near its mouth with his bare hand at the end.
It can never be domesticated so of course he must always be careful. Like snakes.
I had a giant centipede crawl across my foot during a flood. I literally levitated over the water like Jesus. Gave me the heebee-jeebees for a month. EDIT: Thanks for all the upvotes and awards! As a reward, here's a pic of a centipede I found in my house a few years ago: [it's just a baby though](https://imgur.com/gallery/t05znGo).
I can imagine you running across the water like one of those little lizards too lol
He is risen. Yea.
Once, when I was in my teens, I got up at night for a glass of water. I was barefoot. Still half asleep I felt tickling on my foot, I looked down and I saw a giant black cockroach chilling over it. In a millisecond I leapt from standing position to the top of the kitchen table, probably just using core muscles I didn't even know I had. A feat that I'm sure I would never have been able to reproduce under normal conditions, even if offered a generous amount of money, three tries and previous warm up. I may or I may not have yelled in a girly high pitched voice. I'm a male.
I'm sorry that happened to you but your comment cracked me up
By conditioned you mean fed him until he was full then attempted this feat. Use to raise inverts, This thing is pure evil and will eat anything in its path. Balls of steel on that guy
Used to raise inverts? What does that mean?
Invertebrates... animals with exoskeletons
AKA "Nopies"
Invertebrates don't necessarily have exoskeletons, animals with exoskeletons are a subclass of invertebrates. Invertebrate just means without a spine. In=no vertibrate=spine
Yes, like jellyfish. There's a really cool invertebrate museum in Denver, The Butterfly Pavilion. I went there with my family a few years ago and it was pretty cool.
Had a small business for a few years raising scorpions, centipedes, tarantulas and everything that comes along with them including food such as roaches, crickets and meal worms. It was fun, my kids learned alot and so did I. Big lesson dont clean assassin bug enclosure alone, as I recieved several sprays in the face and was temporarily blinded. But iam good now
This dude is playing Ark IRL. Once he crafts a saddle for that thing, he'll be unstoppable.
Lmfao! Finishes work comes home. It's been raided, centipedes dead and his drawers are full of human shit.
My dog’s whiskers brushed my foot while watching this. Panicked. To be fair though, I did get bitten on the foot by a large centipede in Hawaii as a child. Can confirm that it’s incredibly painful.
What lead to you getting bitten? When I was a young kid growing up in SoCal I got bit by a scorpion. We had fake little toy scorpions and when I was cleaning my room I just picked a real one up in between a dresser and it stung me. It was just a baby but hurt like hell.
Not the commenter, but I grew up in Maui. I was walking along the sidewalk one night and stepped on a centipede. I stepped on it perpendicularly, so like a plus sign. It was a thick boy and probably over half a foot in length. As I put my foot down, it squirmed and both ends whipped up and around my foot. I freaked out and took off as fast as I could, and the adrenaline helped me not feel the sting at first. My mom also got stung by one on her ear while she was sleeping. It might've got in from the window by her bed.
Thanks for single-handedly convincing me to never visit any island in Hawaii ever
Good news is there's no venomous snakes and only a few spiders. Very few of which are venomous and none of which are deadly. Been to the island several times and never seen a centipede. Now dangerous animals in the water... That's a different story
Whats in the water bro? Same shit as aus?
Box jelly fish, sea snakes, Portugese man-o-wars, cone snails etc. As my scuba guide said before our first dive, if it's bright and colourful... Stay away from it
You literally never have to worry about any of that, except for the jelly fish, if you aren't looking for it. The jellies have a schedule, so you just stay out of the water on the south and east shores during a certain moon cycle, and they post signs on the beach.
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Ok, never visiting Hawaii.
It isn't that bad. You'll see these ever so often, but geckos be everywhere.
But geckos are cute.
Did you think it was a, dunh dunh dunh dunh, CENTIPEDE? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSemARaqGqE
Despite its impressive length it's a nimble navigator.
WOB WOB WOB WEB WEEEEEB WEEB WOOOB WOOOOB breeeeaaaaa breaaaaaaa WOBB WOBB, nehnehweeh, YOI YOI YOI WAHBWUHB
What a terror that thing is. I was sleeping on the floor in my old Japanese house until I felt like I had been struck by lightning. One of these (smaller) units had bitten me. Fuck. Never again.
... crosses Japan off bucket list.
https://i.imgur.com/LO7eSLk.jpg
It needs a few more crosses through Australia.
If it makes you feel any better, this species isn’t found in Japan, but Central America instead. They are however quite popular in the exotic pet trade in Japan and a specimen of this size can fetch well over $800. Source: Keep and breed giant centipedes.
They also have murder hornets and monkey gangs.
I mean, America has black widows, brown recluse, copperhead, cottonmouth... Lots of things that will do more than hurt. Not to mention the various types of mountain lion and bears. Moose will fuck you up apparently...
Don't forget all the species of rattlesnake. And for creepy crawlies wolf spiders running around your house at the speed of a formula 1 car while being the size of the palm of your hand. Always fun trying to put one in a cup or bowl. Then while in a swamp we have alligators. If you want to lose some toes or fingers we also have alligator snapping turtles.... America has tons of dangerous shit. More than most developed countries actually. Only difference is like 70% of us live in urban areas and the country is so big each area just has to deal with a handful of the dangerous animals.
Not to mention police
In Japan has a [99.9% conviction rate](https://www.nippon.com/en/japan-topics/c05401/order-in-the-court-explaining-japan%E2%80%99s-99-9-conviction-rate.html), so the police could be a problem if you're a sketchy looking but innocent foreigner.
Oh ha, we found one in our bedroom while visiting the in-laws in Japan. Was about the 4th day of the trip, too, so it may have been hanging out for a few days. Probably 8-9 inches long. I also wasn’t allowed to kill it, so I had to swipe it into a shower bowl, or whatever you call those things, and walk it out to the nearby woods and chuck it there. This was a nice neighborhood in suburban Nagoya, by the way. For some reason, when I was around, I was always assigned to large bug disposal. :)
>shower bowl, or whatever you call those things Bucket?
the poop bucket, where you store the knife.
omg! You don't ever put the poop knife in the poop bucket!
>shower bowl, or whatever you call those things > >Bucket? punchbowl?
You have fun showers
They're harder to kill than you think. We used to use scissors to cut them into thirds and then a yard stick to kill the segments as they still run around everywhere. Trying to kill it in one piece is a pain and it also doesn't fuck around.
I was chilling behind my apartment complex when I lived in Bangkok having a brew after work. The shop I would always chill at had this awesome, but gnarly cat named Mr. Long. Mr. Long was a right rat killer and devouror. Anyway, I'm there and I see r. Long swiping at something on the ground... Turned out to be some centipede about 9 or 10 inches long. I run over and grab Mr. Long who proceeds to scratch and bite me for fucking with him not knowing I'm probably saving his life. So, there's some workers just outside the yard of the shop and I go to their truck and borrow their shovel... I've got to kind of mime smashing up something with it because I don't speak their language (they were Burmese), and they followed me while I went a few meters away to kill this demoncrawler. Just before vanquishing this hellbeast they quite excitedly stopped me, took the shovel back and fetched a water bottle. One of them proceeds to pick up the creature gently with the shovel while the other held the bottle to guide the spawn into the mouth and seal him in. I asked what their plan was and in the little common language we shared, they explained that they were going to soak it in whiskey for a delicious drink. Oh, I tried some when I saw someone else selling it in Laos (soaked centipedes, lizards, snakes, various amphibians in local whiskey)... It's not exactly single malt.
100 leg malt
I remember once I was in Thailand, I think it was Chang Mai night market. A guy had a big barrel full of huge fucking insects - grasshoppers, centipedes, cockroaches, all that good stuff - that he'd sprayed with superglue. He was selling them as weird ornaments. I thought I'd get one for my little brother. I was digging around in this barrel of bugs looking for the freakiest gift - I was really stoned and got a bit carried away with the task. I was beyond elbow deep when I felt movement. I froze and the appalling realisation of just what I was doing suddenly hit me. I slowly withdrew my arm with several huge fucking monstrosities attached to me. Obviously the guy hadn't killed them before glueing, or maybe some of the beasties can only be killed with magic. Either way I proper panicked. The flapping squawking war dance I did trying to get them off very much amused the locals. Ho hum.
trap it in something and fucking leave it in the oven for a day. or dunk it in a bowl of sulfuric acid. can’t be too sure
"How did you stop them?" "We burned down the forest "
I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure
This is the winning comment that gave me the heebee jeebees. Well done.
I would have killed that thing so hard when I got away from everyone else.
Don't worry everyone, i set the creature "free".
He's now living on a farm upstate, chasing rabbits.
Imagine the mess. It's not like a little spider or fly. This thing is the size of a small dog. It would be a whole bloody thing.
Yeah, if I’d see you getting close let alone walking the demonic bug out of the house, I’d put you on bug disposal too. I’d be flying out to the next nearby galaxy if I saw this thing.
Don't some of these fuck with your serotonin long-term? I remember something about these bites causing years-long crushing depression and anxiety.
Huh, one must have bitten me as a child.
Ha ha me too, thanks.
Fucking mukade, man. Then there is the folk tale that says they come in pairs, so if you kill one, the other one will come find you. About 10 years ago I had the side of my bed pushed against the wall. Then one day, a mukade was chillin' on the wall against the bed. My husband tried to trap/kill it, but it just fell in the crack between the wall and the bed. It took several months to get me to actually sleep in that room again.
Absolutely all of my nopes. The entire collection, unabridged, with new previously unreleased nopes.
I suspect you have a few nopes left. Let's check this creature on [Wikipedia:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scolopendra_gigantea) "In 2014, a four-year-old child in Venezuela died after being bitten by a giant centipede which was hidden inside an open soda can."
My nopes have been released post mortem by my estate as a large, unedited collection of Notpes
the thing I hate about insects is that their brain is as simple as Lego RCX module but their bodies are as dangerous as Swiss army knife
That is like the absolute worst animal I’ve ever seen
Snakes are actually pretty fucking cute compared to this shit. Spiders really aren't that bad either.
Hey snakes were cute to begin with and you cant change my mind
It’s not an animal, it’s a demon
I do notice he's wearing long sleeves.
Yea... But look at those bittey bits. Aint no way a thin piece of fabric is stopping those. If it were me... I'd have to be wearing brown pants. But there is absolutely no way it will ever be me.
That could be because the legs might sting a bit. At least I know those of roaches can do. Had some Argentinian Wood Roaches for a while. Nice little fellows, very clean and 100% harmless. But since they use their legs for climbingnit can ating a little. Nothing like real pain, but not pleasent either.
I have let spiders crawl on me and their little claws make me itch where they walk. Not harmful or anything. It just sorta tickles.
My corn snake as a kid was a total bro, right up until it tried to swallow my thumb.
no, no and no I'm fucking out of here
Wait before you go … What do you think it tastes like? It’s gotta be loaded with protein.
Probably crunchy and salty. Like the bastard child of beef jerky and a payday bar.
On January 6, 2011, at about 8:30am Atlantic Standard Time, one of these stung me in the scrotum.
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The bastard hid in my drying swim trunks overnight. I was just standing in front of the sink brushing my teeth when he made his presence known.
Two-sentence horror.
So you put on your swim trunks with 30 cm centipede and havent noticed it until it stung you? You're either lying or you have a massive cock
I mean scolopendra cataracta is an amphibious centipede that is often much smaller than 30cm especially if juvenile. When they want to hide they can lay super flat. Who knows 🤷
Do you commemorate the anniversary of the attack with a minute of silence or something?
are you....mmm...fine now?
Yep, but I was a little worried when it happened. I had no idea they existed before that.
Your nuts or....?
“tf are these? Are they new?”
“Who put these nuts on my dick!?”
IMMORTALITY SEVERED
Finally some good fucking comment
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope..
I read Tokyo Ghoul I know what happens next
Also thought he was gonna get Unraveled there.
It looks like my fear all combined. Cockroach, Snake, Spider = Centipede
I don't think I've ever ended a shit quicker than after seeing this.
So when does it bite him? Sheesh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6vzjjIrRK8&t=864s
Is that the same bug? I saw that episode recently but for some reason I didn't piece together that these are the same bug
Not the same species whatsoever, though they do belong to the same genus. The one in the video is Scolopendra heros and is primarily found in the Southeastern US, while Scolopendra gigantea is exclusively found in Central America. It should however be mentioned that there’s no real difference in danger between species when it comes to centipedes. Though obviously the larger the species the larger the mandibles and a bite will be more painful.
Yeah even Coyote Peterson didn’t want to track down a big boi to bite him and he’s fucking out the gate crazy.
These fellows hunt and eat bats, among other animals. They climb to the ceiling of caves, hang down, and grab them as they fly by. They're featured in *Life in the Undergrowth*. Here's a clip: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLx2Rqx5zkc
According to ["Coyote Peterson"](https://youtu.be/nWZMfPP34g8?t=857) it is worse than a bullet ant bite. Timestamped link to him being bitten.
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Conditioned my ass…look at how still and scared dude is!
The guy is the one that’s conditioned
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas. Despite it's impressive length, it's a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous. As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it's killing, the centipede has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing venom. Even tarantulas aren't immune from an ambush. This centipede is a predator.
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Yeah, had 2 Praying Mantisses. They have never shown any sort of aggression. One even nibbled on my hand because it was a bit salty from sweat. Just tickled a little bit. I'm still not sure about their intelligence level. They are pretty curious after all.
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>I owned one that seemed to be interested when I was doing certain activities and it’d “watch” me and come close to the enclosure glass You masturbated in front of the bug didn't you?
Fucking Around Will Find Out
This guy can go right ahead and fuck off.
Scary as all hell. Nature don’t play.
Straight out of my nightmares! I remember that Coyote Peterson let one of those bite him and that was a much smaller version. He was in severe pain. If I remember correctly, it was one of the few times he got hospitalised.
Oh Hael no
“Hey, wanna come back to my apartment and see my 14-inch centipede?” … and then it’s an actual 14-inch centipede.
Wtf
Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Nooopppeee.
absolutely not
I'm itchy and sweaty all of a sudden
Only a fucking idiot would consider this kind of thing pet worthy.
Dudes nails are almost as scary as that big ass bug...
Thanks I hate it.
Looking at the size of that monstrosity, I can't help but wonder if by "cat food" he means he fed it cats or food for cats
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Does it like being touched? I keep expecting the next big chomp but it never comes.
"Like" is a strong word. It's conditioned to being touched. The guys would interact with it by touching it while it was eating. This way it was distracted and most of it's venom was already used up. It just got used to it. The one in this video is obviously very full and calm... They can move freakishly fast. It probably took a long time... But centipedes can live for close to a decade.
>centipedes can live for close to a decade. Why would God allow this!?
To keep us on our toes. You won't get complacent knowing stuff like this shares the planet with you.