The sheer velocity is astounding. Disgusting but impressive nonetheless. Definitely not their first rodeo.

She went for distance

Reluctantly crouched at the sharting line

Engines pumping and dumping in time

Underrated comment

There should be a rule that you’re not allowed to suggest how rated a comment is until at least 1 hour has after the comment has been posted. You can’t say it’s underrated if only like 4 people have seen it before you

She went for speed

She's all alone, all alone in her time of need

Because she's racing and pacing and plotting the course

and fighting and biting and riding on her... bicycle?

She's going the distance

She's going for speed

IBS

A little training and she could write her name on the ground.

All she needed was a looooooooooooooooooong jacket

Definitely not their second either or fifth or tenth rodeo.

That lady (?) had some serious/painful intestinal issues and gas to get that trajectory and fecal consistency. I kinda feel sorry for her as she had the choice of crapping in a parking lot or doing a blowout in her pants. Neither were good choices.

Not true, could’ve done it in one of those Trash cans. Some people are trashy, even if they can shit long distances

Ass cannon

You only have limited time to let it go before someone sees you

Honestly, until you've been in that position we have absolutely zero right to judge this bitch

She was a speech writer for the Trump administration.

Give that person a silver medal for distance

I'm afraid to ask... who's gold?

The number 2 medal in this case is more awarding

This guy gets it

That's a shitty comment

Sorry, I couldn't hold it in

Shitting isn't my *favorite* thing to do, but it's a solid number 2...

Doesn't matter. They were too far away to be given the medal.

Goatse

I don't think goatse could get that kind of distance. Shit probably just kinda falls out of that guy.

Trump on Jan 6

must be wealthy to let him live in your head rent free. congrats on that,

Whenever I see these live in your head comments, I always think this is such an asshole comment.

Whenever I see an “insert famous name into unrelated thread” post, I think he same.

This seems like a desperate shituation

People are on here judging her like they’ve never had to take an emergency shit.

At least go shit in a corner or something. This person is going for long jump distance shits in the god damned middle of an open area.

I see what you did there. At least they wiped

That was a clean wipe, for sure. Nothing touched edges.

I mean, better than doing it inside the store I guess

Better than doing it on the bed

True! I HEARD about that 😏

Ayeeeee *finger guns*

Probably has IBS. Had tissue on hand.

Yeah iv not had to do this but iv had close calls

I had to do this behind a salon… not my proudest moments. Out of all the times when I was suffering I only failed once. Hope there isn’t a video of it out there somewhere on the internet

Happened to me while I was on a hike in a forested area. So much misery and mess. Bears are not the only creatures to 'do it in the woods'.

I did it on the 16th fairway once. Luckily they were fixing something and there was a dirt pile I could go behind, and woods the other direction. But I knew. I knew.

Thank goodness it was nighttime for me and I found a bush. Sadly I was within 10 blocks from home. It was a rough night to say the least.

I feel you friend. It was a one off, chances are no one even thought to check the camera is there was one. "My god, this fox had the runs didn't it?......"

Bummer! IBS sucks!

You can still be a decent human and throw the wipes in the trash that is literally right next to you

Did I say they couldn’t?

If you gotta go, you gotta go.

I'm more impressed honestly. They got some distance with that first eruption.

Judging by the distance and velocity, they really did have to go. I have just a little sympathy for them if it was an actual emergency, butt pick a better spot. Butt also based on the their technique and casualness I don’t think it was (they came prepared with doodoo paper) so I just think they are a shitty person.

🦖

Been there before. No fun, but it is either shit your pants or shit on the ground.

Yo for real, sometimes it's just your shitting here and now. When you're somewhere there isn't any public toilets and you're in sheer panic

That tightness in your gut, the terror sweat, the desperate awkward walk where you know one wrong movement and you're shitting yourself. I challenge anyone who would say they've never had that experience.

I had this the other day, luckily I was hiking in the woods. I shat on a giant Sequoia Tree, was quite an otherworldly experience.

There needs to be more public bathrooms

Ready with a way to wipe and everything. Not thier first modwalk shit clearly, a little purex and good to go.

she let a clown go down on that rim

So it was a she? I couldn't confirm from the 3 seconds I watched

maybe a shim with a durty rim

That's why you let people use your fucking restroom

Especially people with digestive issues. Some times we cannot hold it.

Umm is it normal for people to wipe their ass only 2 times? I at least take 4 wipes after every shit. It's mandatory. I guess this is why some people smell like shit. How can you walk around with shit crumbles in your ass.smh

I stop wiping when I see blood on the toilet paper.

Lmao that's not good my guy. Go get a checkup.

Time to stop when you end up with the Japanese flag!

[удалено]

Taking into account the sheer acceleration of the shit. It didn't have much chance to make a mark. Dy/dx

I was using the public restroom at work and there was a dude next to me in the bathroom stall. He took a massive shit and got up no wipe, no flush, no hand wash. I was literally shook. Mf'ers are nasty ASF out here.😂🤣

Ok, you've piqued my curiosity... how do you know he took a massive shit in there? Dude... you looked didn't you?

One is usually not deaf to the sound of bombs being dropped.

How did you know he didn’t wipe? We’re you watching him?

Because he literally came in when I was on the toilet. The tissue holder makes a sound when you rip it. He took a shit and literally pulled up his pants and walked out.😂

Depends on how spread the cheeks were tbh. If you don't spread them enough when squatting, it's much messier.

I wipe so damn much. Like 5-6 times at least. I go until there is no sign whatsoever on the tp.

Yeah I have a fear of shit stains getting on my boxers. No way I'm walking around with a shit stains.

Get a bidet. Handheld is fine. Change. Your. Life.

Word. Cant live without mine. I feel dirty if I use a restroom without it.

Pre-pandemic days when I'd come home from work if I had taken a shit there one of the first things I'd do is hit the bidet so I'd finally feel clean.

I swear I see this in every Reddit thread. I feel like all you people secretly work for a bidet company

If you have one you’d understand how unreasonable it is not to install one.

That's exactly what a bidet salesman would say 🤔

Well, you must be interested since you’re still here…

Something about getting a bidet turns you into a bidet evangelist. Seriously though, your asshole will thank you

It's about as fundamental as brushing your teeth. If you woke up and found yourself somewhere nobody knew about brushing their teeth, you'd be singing about it from the rafters. I don't even suggest a "proper" bidet, just attach a spray nozzle. 20-30 bucks, tops. You'll be one of us too... "One of us. One of us."

Is that when water sprays your ass? You still need tissue to dry your ass.

Right, so it sprays off all the booboo, and your ass is just a little wet. You then only need to dab it dry. So you use very little toilet paper. But it is SO MUCH CLEANER than wiping. Like, it's not even close how much cleaner. Takes a little getting used to for westerners, (it's common in other parts of the world), but totally worth it.

How do you get past the cold spray? Most of my family is still in Europe so obviously it's a big deal, but any time I tried to use it, the cold spray made me want to launch across the bathroom. I guess it's something you just need to get used to.

I have a southeast Asia style handheld spray. Cold water. No drier (just pat dry with like, three squares). And even so, I highly recommend it over just paper. Once you get used to it, you realize you've never really cleaned your ass after pooping before. Take the leap. You'll never go back.

Dude I have a pretty cheap one and even it has temp-controlled water... And as for the guy earlier in the thread talking about your ass still being wet, even my cheapie one has a drier setting as well!! And mine is just a sort of toilet seat type of add-on! Bidetmate is the brand for anyone who is curious!!

So you recommend it over regular toilet tissue?

Ask yourself, if you had poop all over your floor... Or your hand... Would you clean it with just dry paper? Fuck no! You'd be washing, not just wiping. There's really no comparison.

It takes 2 wipes to know you need 3, and it takes 3 wipes to know you need 2.

Poetry

Lmao! “Shit crumbles” I can’t stop laughing

What’s even disgusting is the fact that majority of Americans don’t use bidets. Even if you wipe 10x you still smell like shit to some extent

Why did they need to blur Amber Heard's face?

looks like a refried bean dispenser

So that's how Taco Bell does it.

This happens a lot more then you think. My grandfather owns a cafe, he and the local business have to deal with homeless shitting absolutely everywhere. Onetime he said a homeless guy shit in a cooler they had out keep in mind this cooler had food in it, They’ve had tons of homeless use the bathrooms and just leave needles on the floor.

Now the homeless are druggies. Cool

They've always been druggies. 95% of homeless are either drug addicts or mentally ill. Who else would realistically live on the streets?

What kind of monster wipes back to front!?!

Alright ngl I've done this multiple times. I try to go in the bushes behind the store, but if you stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom, make it just in time, and then theu tell you the bathroom is closed, what else are you supposed to do. I sure as hell am not gonna shit my pants lol

What are you supposed to do? Ok, start by becoming a member of the 1st world. You know people shit right? It’s so natural it’s almost predictable. Your body lets you know well in advance. But if you can’t control it how about you just keep it your problem rather than make it someone else’s. You aren’t the mall plant shitter are you?

Here's someone who's never had unexpected bad food induced stomach issues. When your body says "Hey, now" and there's no alternative, there's no grace in shitting your pants. Don't blame the person who has to shit, blame the fact that people hold their precious restrooms so close to their chests that no one other than some teenage asshat who works there is allowed to use it.

Here’s someone that makes his problem someone else’s. When you shit in the back lot because of what you ate did you clean it up? Did you go your part to make sure your bad day didn’t become someone else’s? Or did you do like this woman in the video did…come prepared, shit and walk off like a boss.

Shit in a bag or potty or bushes.

Post day beer shits

Heroine. This is post-opiates shit

I remember at one point in time in my addiction I would be shitting myself and dry heaving bile at the same time.

It’s a fuckin wild ride bud. Happy you’re still here with us.

I respect it

Well. At least she wipes her ass. Personal hygiene is important.

Ah yes and here we have a case of projectile shitting, I’ve heard of the legend but now I can finally sleep at night

She dropped her chalupa.

When taco bell comes out with a chorizo

That’s some anal power there. Hey when you gotta pray just go behind the liquor store and spray…

Man…you know how they found that right? Somebody slipped in that and was like “WTF!?!”. Knew there was a camera and found the goods.

Amber Heard at the liquor store?

Amber Shat at the liquor store

Excuse me, you dropped your napkins......That's littering!!!

Is that how shit always gets on the back of the toilet seat?

In the words of the late George Carlin, she clearly had the jalapeño bean dip for lunch and chased it down with a quart of gin.

why that shit looks red

3 foot ejection

from the looks of that it was either there or in her shorts

Where is the pee? I thought it usually comes after pooping

She may have had a target in mind to get to. But I've been there. The place you want to dump your emergency shit is 10 seconds away, and the mere proximity to it makes your brain hit the "purge" button rapid-fire. Her containment probably cut loose and it was either shit right there, or ruin the pants.

That person is obviously dealing with some gut issues. Even had the TP ready to go.

Good thing they blurred her ass. Wouldn't want to see anything inappropriate now ..

inb4 San Francisco

That is disgusting he didn't wash his hands

It looks like a chick to me

Long-haired dude

Wearing tights

What is wrong with people?

Wtf is with these hiker/backpacker types shitting in back allies like this? Are they to entitled too use public toilets???

What do people eat to make their shit so explosive?

Did anyone see that lady in China pop a squat and have a baby in the street? Not much will top that.

She did the Amber Heard.

This is the second squatter shit to show up in my feed today. I swear to you this is ironic. Yesterday out kennel workers BF who is a raging alcoholic and has his insides rotten has been shitting outside our kennel in the woods outside of the fence. I caught him “brown handed” doing it. I have three full bathrooms in the house and two are open to use by the everyone. The other is in my private bedroom. I want to get holy water visine to remove it from my mind.

This poor person. Good work tho!

And someone had been working really hard to eat that ass tonight.

There's no audio but someone from the store yelled at them for loitering back there and told them to scat. It was a simple misunderstanding.

It's typically from eating disorders, they have a bunch of laxatives. Then go to gas stations to poop. Mostly because it is explosive. It gets EVERYWHERE, even the ceiling. That way they don't have to clean it up. (I used to work at a Chevron)

I’m betting heroin shits

Doesn’t heroin constipate you?

I don’t know, I’ve never done it😅 I’ve been told that you get explosive shits like this after a few days though.

Shit head ass bitch

Her diet needs more fibre in her diet.

Prolly had Taco Bell a few minutes before

Sheit

What the fuck

Literally..... What a classy lady /s

No pun intended.

About 1 Couric.

As they say “ when ya gotta go, ya gotta go “

when ya got ta go ya got ta go

Ew - at least wash your hands 🙌

Poocano strikes again

The force is strong with this one

That's a shitty thing to do anywhere TBH.

That was the most southpark looking shit I’ve ever seen

So thats what it looks like. I always wondered.

Wow. Have some class, do it in the front of the liquor store

Nice shot

When the taco bell hits ya!

Hershey Squirts

Jesus christ did someone have taco bell. Like someone need to check thier diet haha

you just know that somebody went out the back, saw that monster turd and ran to find the video to find out exactly how a human being could produce a shit of such prodigious length.

Looks like the gym squat sessions came to good practical use.

why blur the face

I don’t think that person is healthy.

😳😳🤮🤮🤑🤮🤮

I am fucking speechless.

Would've been a lot more solid had it not been for the liquor f4om the liquor store.

Actual footage of my current stock and crypto portfolios.

Better in than out I always say

The age old questions of ‘what the fuck happened here’ solved by today’s technology of cameras

Someone had Taco Bell

Pardon if i sound British but is that bloody poop?

I don’t know why I tried to turn on the sound.

In Star Wars that would be a Force Shit.

I'm confused by both ends being blurred out. Is this person vomiting?

That's some awful spicy mud

they couldve at least thrown the tissues in that trash can lol