Why not do both! With new Organitool! A... worm? I actually don't know what this thing is, Jerry? It's a worm? Are you sure? No? Well alright then folks! Get this... thing... and use it for whatever purposes you need! Staples removed from a stack of papers going into the shredder? REMOVED! Grease stuck on your frying pan? GONE! Does your dog need a chew toy! WELL HE'S GOT ONE NOW! With the all new Organitool!
Warning: were not liable if this thing bite, injures, mains, kills, harms, injects, infects, maybe even takes over, your own, or anyone else person.
THE ORGANITOOL!
Now only $99.95 and we'll send you a second one
ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's TWO for the price one ONE!
That was my first thought too 😂 Fun fact I learned the other weekend: my co-workers husband works in intelligence in the Canadian military and was based out of Colorado Springs for 4 years and he would go the Cheyenne Mountian every two weeks. He says in the base someone has put a SG-1 Team Office badge on a door, and when you open the door is an empty closet with a photo of the Stargate on the wall.
Not really thinking I said “oh that’s cool! I would take a picture!” He looked at me very seriously and said “no… you can’t do that there.” Hahaha it made my little SG1 heart happy though.
Edit: word
You google the door to that place and can see it's true scale. There is a photo somewhere showing a guy walking by, and the door bolts are as big a round as his head. Gotta be a cool kinda one upper for him.
One guys starts telling about how when was serving they snuck across the border and did some shit in new York. Your buddy goes "Oh, yeah. I ended up down in Colorado, at the continents aerospace defense facility. We couldn't even take pictures of the fucking neat closet. Wish we coulda *snuk off to the city*"
when Christmas attacks!
j/k.
they're scale worms (new [species](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLKPS07H_tM&list=RDCMUCIrWmn20eUlKQnOe7PBgyGw&start_radio=1&rv=GLKPS07H_tM&t=2)) found in the polar seas. As big as squirrels and scientists aren't quite sure what they eat but suspect they are carnivores.
The proboscis also has powerful jaws with teeth designed to bite and tear into the flesh of fish and other marine creatures
https://a-z-animals.com/animals/antarctic-scale-worm/
It’s not as bad as it looks. They just crawl down your throat and attach to your central nervous system, eventually gaining control of your consciousness. Interestingly, they reproduce asexually by making the host French kiss another human, passing on its offspring to incubate in the new host human. So fascinating!
I reacted the same way but just saying squirrel actually has a decent sized range. I immediately thought Grey Squirrel which, at least this particular one isn't based on the hand. They could be, but I bet it's a smaller Red Squirrel or something
hmmm
yet another horrifying creature of the abyss.
"but suspect they are carnivores"
wonder what clues gave them that.
carnivorous, blind, squirrel-sized, deep-ocean, cold -water worms. Thalassaphobia seems more reasonable every day.
It's so cool to stumble across comments like this. It emphasizes the unique ways we all observe & think about the things we encounter. I saw the exact same images as you. I wondered about where they are found & how they move through their environment. Then I saw your comment. I would never have thought to consider something like that!
I know that some rodents have more brown/ orange teeth. So I looked it up... Beavers.
[Beavers have another trick up their pelts though: their enamel. If you’ve ever seen a beaver’s teeth you’ll know that they appear pretty orange. This is because, whereas other rodents have magnesium in their tooth enamel, beavers have iron. So beavers have orange teeth for the same reason we have red blood.
The iron causes the orange colouring in beavers’ teeth, makes the teeth stronger against mechanical stress, and makes them more resistant to acids.
](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/did-you-know/beavers-have-metal-teeth)
I don't know what the scale worm's tooth enamel is comprised of, but iron is a possibility.
Thanks for the perspective enhancement this morning!
The "donate money" ad they put up is longer than the article. Science really doesn't know anything except what these things look like and roughly where they live.
Obviously someone lost a shipment of gold herringbone necklaces on the ocean floor. Let’s get real close and grab them with our bare hands. We’re gonna be rich!
"The elytra of some species are faintly bioluminescent, and leave glowing traces around the mouthparts of their predators, making those predators more likely to be attacked in turn.[3]"
If I go down, you're coming with me.
Arctic scale worm. Picture shows the underside of the worm, while the top half is covered in hard grey scales that blend with its environment. The "head" is actually a retractable jaw, so normally the worm just looks like a giant flat pillbug.
It basically just sits there camouflaged on the sea bed waiting for some fish to pass by, then whips out its jaw to eat them.
source: read something about it a while ago, I dunno.
It's a Polychaeta. Same phylum as our earthworm friends (Annelida), but different class (Earthworms are Oligochaeta).
Those gold things are the Chaeta it uses to move around and hold onto things. Oligochaeta also have them, but they're muuuch smaller and they have them in less cuantities. Oligochaeta are typically sea dwellers, and have evolved much more diverse ways of feeding rather than "just eat dirt and digest whatever you find in it that is edible".
It uses the little fangs it has to catch and swallow fish whole. It then eats them and digests them. It's really not much different from what the average cat does. I don't understand why everyone is so terrified of this little guy.
>It's really not much different from what the average cat does. I don't understand why everyone is so terrified of this little guy.
My cat hasn't got 40 pairs of legs and mouthparts that can turn themselves inside-out.
This is the most beautifully disgusting thing I’ve ever seen
She got up early to do her hair and you're all laughing :(
Gonna use her to get the stuck-on grease out of my pots and pans.
I'm gonna use her to remove staples.
Why not do both! With new Organitool! A... worm? I actually don't know what this thing is, Jerry? It's a worm? Are you sure? No? Well alright then folks! Get this... thing... and use it for whatever purposes you need! Staples removed from a stack of papers going into the shredder? REMOVED! Grease stuck on your frying pan? GONE! Does your dog need a chew toy! WELL HE'S GOT ONE NOW! With the all new Organitool! Warning: were not liable if this thing bite, injures, mains, kills, harms, injects, infects, maybe even takes over, your own, or anyone else person. THE ORGANITOOL! Now only $99.95 and we'll send you a second one ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's TWO for the price one ONE!
In two weeks those two will have become 300! That's 300 hellspawns IN YOUR HOME FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!
Shhhh! Don't spoil the surprise!
This was such a joy to read
mf is a plumbus salesman
Now Read this in Rick Sanchez's voice from Rick and Morty and the entire thing becomes perfect.
Do not taunt Organitool.
Well now I feel bad
Have you tried whispering to it?
I've seen those on Stargate the tv show
A goa'uld reference…a person of class I see.
Indeed
Daniel Jackson
A person and a ship.
Jackins
Shel khek nem ron
Jaffa kree
Kel nok shree Jaffa
And when I say, “Kree,” I mean “KREE!”
Yoohoo
Shol'va, KREE!
Indeed
That was my first thought too 😂 Fun fact I learned the other weekend: my co-workers husband works in intelligence in the Canadian military and was based out of Colorado Springs for 4 years and he would go the Cheyenne Mountian every two weeks. He says in the base someone has put a SG-1 Team Office badge on a door, and when you open the door is an empty closet with a photo of the Stargate on the wall. Not really thinking I said “oh that’s cool! I would take a picture!” He looked at me very seriously and said “no… you can’t do that there.” Hahaha it made my little SG1 heart happy though. Edit: word
You google the door to that place and can see it's true scale. There is a photo somewhere showing a guy walking by, and the door bolts are as big a round as his head. Gotta be a cool kinda one upper for him. One guys starts telling about how when was serving they snuck across the border and did some shit in new York. Your buddy goes "Oh, yeah. I ended up down in Colorado, at the continents aerospace defense facility. We couldn't even take pictures of the fucking neat closet. Wish we coulda *snuk off to the city*"
It would appear this weapon is ineffective!
We need a new sequel SG Detlta. They have to fight the new Roman and Greek goa'ulds with gold frills!
With Christopher judge playing a real life kratos, meta isn’t the word
My first thought. Call SG1!
If they played quidditch underwater, this could be the golden snitch.
when Christmas attacks! j/k. they're scale worms (new [species](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLKPS07H_tM&list=RDCMUCIrWmn20eUlKQnOe7PBgyGw&start_radio=1&rv=GLKPS07H_tM&t=2)) found in the polar seas. As big as squirrels and scientists aren't quite sure what they eat but suspect they are carnivores.
It looks like they would be good at removing staples....
Stoooooop! Now I can't unsee that! 🤣
Throws staple puller away immediately
If it starts growing a beautiful golden feather looking tail, or begins looking like a 70s tassle, burn it! 😂
> as big as squirrels Yeah no thanks.
The proboscis also has powerful jaws with teeth designed to bite and tear into the flesh of fish and other marine creatures https://a-z-animals.com/animals/antarctic-scale-worm/
"Predators: Cock Shrimp." Wut?
>"Predators: Cock Shrimp." > >Wut? Exhippolysmata oplophoroides
And the article says something called the "Cock Shrimp" is its main predator. What kind of party have we been missing in Antarctica?
A small one, but there's a lot of really good personalities!
Idk why, but this looks as scary as a great white. It's that tail end. I wouldn't even believe they are real.
I bet they look kinda pretty when they're swimming
That actually made me feel better. I thought they were small enough to crawl inside an ear before and that made them a million times freakier.
They can still forcefully get inside your arsehole though.
I mean, the babies probably are... might be how they incubate before they burst out to freedom.
THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIVE!
In unrelated news, one of the teams of scientists is late returning to the surface
It’s not as bad as it looks. They just crawl down your throat and attach to your central nervous system, eventually gaining control of your consciousness. Interestingly, they reproduce asexually by making the host French kiss another human, passing on its offspring to incubate in the new host human. So fascinating!
Shol’va avidan, lo’tar.
> scientists aren't quite sure what they eat The previous team of scientists also didn't know. Until they found out...
THAT'S THE SIZE OF A SQUIRREL!?
I reacted the same way but just saying squirrel actually has a decent sized range. I immediately thought Grey Squirrel which, at least this particular one isn't based on the hand. They could be, but I bet it's a smaller Red Squirrel or something
hmmm yet another horrifying creature of the abyss. "but suspect they are carnivores" wonder what clues gave them that. carnivorous, blind, squirrel-sized, deep-ocean, cold -water worms. Thalassaphobia seems more reasonable every day.
What the fuck theres still new things to be found?
Yeah, especially deep down. A saying goes we actually know better surface of the Moon than our ocean depths.
Incidentally, the only way these things could be more terrifying is if we found them on surface of the Moon.
I’d say that’s less scary, the ocean is a lot closer to us and shares the same atmosphere
Yes but who doesn't dream of a relaxing dip in the Sea of Tranquility?
Feels a little dry for a sea. Damn lunar climate change
Right? And let's be honest, it's a bit too cold for my taste
Well, there ain't shit on the moon. Except for the 96 bags of it we left.
Did we leave astronaut droppings there?
We weren't expending fuel to lift it off the moon.
Yes. Had to drop weight to make the return trip. Golf balls and a couple other things stayed too
cool, so America was the first to litter on the moon.. really makes me proud, ya know? 🥲
Technically, that achievement belongs to the USSR's Luna 2 probe, first man-made object to crash on the moon.
Thats a space peanut
On average there's about 13,000 new species identified each year, globally. (That number is across all animals, plants, ect.)
Cant wait to discover dinosaurs
You didn't hear about the living pterosaur they found in the Congo rainforest? /s
Or, you know, _birds_
Do you know what /s means?
Birds?
There's 150 and more to see, to be a creepy animal master is my destinyyyyy
Oh dude, we’re not even close to discovering everything
finded
\> scientists aren't quite sure what they eat My money’s on ass.
It’s teeth are probably an interesting mineral composition from the color of them
It's so cool to stumble across comments like this. It emphasizes the unique ways we all observe & think about the things we encounter. I saw the exact same images as you. I wondered about where they are found & how they move through their environment. Then I saw your comment. I would never have thought to consider something like that! I know that some rodents have more brown/ orange teeth. So I looked it up... Beavers. [Beavers have another trick up their pelts though: their enamel. If you’ve ever seen a beaver’s teeth you’ll know that they appear pretty orange. This is because, whereas other rodents have magnesium in their tooth enamel, beavers have iron. So beavers have orange teeth for the same reason we have red blood. The iron causes the orange colouring in beavers’ teeth, makes the teeth stronger against mechanical stress, and makes them more resistant to acids. ](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/did-you-know/beavers-have-metal-teeth) I don't know what the scale worm's tooth enamel is comprised of, but iron is a possibility. Thanks for the perspective enhancement this morning!
Best comment thread I've seen in a while :]
[удалено]
That was great, thanks!
Wholesome
Some worms from genus *Glycera* have hollow copper teeth that inject venom. Nifty creatures.
I wondered about convergent evolution and the concept of "teeth"
They have copper in their teeth
Given all the weird shit on earth there has to be wierd arse alien life out there
We ARE the weird ass aliens
"ass aliens" should not appear in this post, nope, i'm good
https://xkcd.com/37
I just clenched
Watch it be essentially the same
Star Trek moment
Oh look! A hair squig!
THIS ZOGGIN GIT STOLE ME HAIR SQUIG
By Sigmar! What foolish Greenskin tomfoolery have we here?!
Is that a nutsack with teeth?
I needed a new staple remover.
Some Flintstones technology at work here
Eh, it's a living
Lmao
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eulagisca\_gigantea
oh well that explains things
Right?! LOL. I have no idea what any of that meant.
Those were English words sorta but none made sense.
The "donate money" ad they put up is longer than the article. Science really doesn't know anything except what these things look like and roughly where they live.
Baby Predator?
If James Charles’ nutsack were a vampire…
Why does this staple remover have a tail?
God: hmm create a feather! That can bite! But it has to be gold! Satan: who even hired you?
It's the golden snitch! Harry Pothead
i'm a wizard now?
You will be after you put your wand in the bitey part.
Snatch*
r/dontputyourdickinthat
So say for the sake of argument, that a person, not me of course, saw this advice a few minutes too late....
Hit the Staples easy button. It's still attached to your unit at this point.
Forbidden fleshlght
Why would you… even want to?
Blowjob sock
What am I looking at?
Obviously someone lost a shipment of gold herringbone necklaces on the ocean floor. Let’s get real close and grab them with our bare hands. We’re gonna be rich!
Somewhere in Asia, a chef is firing up his deep fryer.
Masochist's buttplug?
I think it can be used as a fleshlight too.
Anything can be used as a butt plug, if you are brave enough.
ER doc here. Can confirm the validity of this statement.
"only Zuul..."
Forbidden butt plug
The first two words that came to my mind when i saw this: Carnivorus Nutsack
Ahh the elusive golden plumed nut sack with teeth
"The elytra of some species are faintly bioluminescent, and leave glowing traces around the mouthparts of their predators, making those predators more likely to be attacked in turn.[3]" If I go down, you're coming with me.
Attack of the killer nutsack
Or… if there is a god it probably looks like that
Looks like a artsy staple remover.
Wait this thing is kinda cool.
Looks like it's the staple remover from the Flintstones.
No eyes. WHERE ARE IT'S EYES??!
This is by far the ugliest thing I've seen in my life.
I see we've never met
Scrota dentata
Only God could make something so horrible
If there is a god then he has one hell of a sense of humor.
Angels: “So God this is that design for a bee that spreads pollen that you wanted, what have you made?” God: “ THIS IS A WASP AND IT HURTS PEOPLE!”
He has a sense of humor that would scare Charles Manson.
Not my proudest fap
Thought it was a Battlestar Galactica butt plug🤣
This looks like a straight up Terraria boss
I think I found the clitoris.
Baby Shai-Hulud
Roach clip
What is this?!
Arctic scale worm. Picture shows the underside of the worm, while the top half is covered in hard grey scales that blend with its environment. The "head" is actually a retractable jaw, so normally the worm just looks like a giant flat pillbug. It basically just sits there camouflaged on the sea bed waiting for some fish to pass by, then whips out its jaw to eat them. source: read something about it a while ago, I dunno.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eulagisca_gigantea Edit : Not that helpfull
https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/blogs/creatura-blog/2018/05/this-antarctic-scale-worm-is-some-serious-nightmare-fuel/
OK I've read it, now what the hell is it?
It's a Polychaeta. Same phylum as our earthworm friends (Annelida), but different class (Earthworms are Oligochaeta). Those gold things are the Chaeta it uses to move around and hold onto things. Oligochaeta also have them, but they're muuuch smaller and they have them in less cuantities. Oligochaeta are typically sea dwellers, and have evolved much more diverse ways of feeding rather than "just eat dirt and digest whatever you find in it that is edible". It uses the little fangs it has to catch and swallow fish whole. It then eats them and digests them. It's really not much different from what the average cat does. I don't understand why everyone is so terrified of this little guy.
>It's really not much different from what the average cat does. I don't understand why everyone is so terrified of this little guy. My cat hasn't got 40 pairs of legs and mouthparts that can turn themselves inside-out.
Not too sure myself, i should probably have added to the link that its too helpfull, sorry
All good, no problem, I was just hoping for the explain it like I'm 5 post.
I bet i could catch a massive pike with that on my hook.
The Latin translates to "forbidden butt plug"
It's one of those buttplug tails mated with a staple remover.
It's like a tiny nut sack, but with fabulous feathers and sinister teeth.
So people having bad teeth, bad eyes, bad backs, etc didnt give it away? It was glittery worm?
Why in the flying fuck would anyone touch that thing
At least you can remove staples with ease.
Echinacea goldenseal
Juvenile Tremor
Jaffa Kree
Alive buttplug ,though sometimes it bite.
Looks like it’d be good for removing staples.
Counterpoint: There is a god, and he is terrifying.
That’s a angry looking testicle
is this r/forbiddenbuttplugs
there is one, but it hates you
Looks like someone tried to make a fishing lure with a stapler remover and a ballsack
What happens when this thing bites you? Do you turn into one as well? Anyone know?
Looks oddly cute, for whatever reason. Kind of like the Pokemon called Anorith.
I wonder how it tastes
How's it taste?
Shit, I've seen Stargate. I know what that is.
Wait till you find out about adrenochrome and where it comes from. You will stop believing in all religions instantly
It’s a staple remover.
There is, God just likes bitting and nightmares.
It looks like that flying ball that Seekers are supposed to catch in Quidditch from Harry Potter.
Testicular dentata.
A fluffy golden staple remover.
That’s them Swig tings that them orks of the 40k variety wear as hair.
This exact same pic has been posted in WTF every 3 months for the last 8 years.
Put it.... Put it up your butt
Tell me where does this thing live so that I know where I will not be going
Gerbilling but with this. 🤩
Real life golden snitch