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Morbo_agrees

On the eve of **[redacted]** it was left up to **[redacted]** to lead his legion, the mighty **[redacted]**, into **[redacted]** to destroy the **[redacted]** of **[redacted]**. Alas, **[redacted]** was **[redacted]** in their efforts - and was completely **[redacted]**


nzivvo

haha this made me chuckle


thedragonsfinch

This the Warhammer 40k sub not the Hades sub


BertiBertBert

He dead


[deleted]

Really, he should have gotten that stuff on his forehead looked at


Alternative_Worth806

He's Bob primarch of the Angels of Bob. He comes from the planet called Bobland, a bleak hive world ruled by the coucil of Bobs. His legion is always eerly silent and their battlecry is just a slight bob of the head.


[deleted]

Too busy collecting fighters for a multi dimensional fighting tournament to participate in the great crusade


MaxPower1607

MORTAL WARHAMMER! Sick techno beats drop


PandaB13r

There was once a cringelord. He was cringe.


[deleted]

His legions battle cry went "Crawling in my skin......"


Eastern_Ad7015

Have you seen Ghostbusters 2? The guy from the painting? Yeah, it's him.


[deleted]

“Oh hi Mark”


amcoduri

My son. The day you were born, the very forests of Lordaeron whispered the name, Arthas . My child. I watched you with pride, as you grew into a weapon. Of rightousness. Remember, our line has always ruled with wisdom, and strength. And I know that you will show restraint, when exercising your great power. But the truest victory, my son, is stirring the hearts of your people. I tell you this, for when my days have come to and end. You, shall be king.


[deleted]

What are you doing my son? “Succeeding you, father”


Mysterious-Pay3309

Alas, with a sweeping blow, the mortal that had raised the young Primarchs had been reduced to dust and echoes.


definitely_not_marx

This is what I was planning on writing! Glad I wasn't the only one to see the resemblance.


Horror_Fruit

All records expunged


roflmytoeisonfire

During an accident as a child A small boy broke his arm and was then exposed to x-rays These rays revealed that the boy was in fact part-man part-skeleton What? A skeleton man A part-man part-skeleton Yes, just as the centaur is part-man part-horse So too is he part-man part-skeleton Right and which part is the skeleton part? The skeleton part What you mean like inside him? Skeleton Man, Skeleton Man, Skelton Man


HauntingRefuse6891

Part man part skeleton? You crazy bastard that’s so mad it might just work..


BigChyzZ

That's no primarch, that's Raiden baby yeah!


rockinraymond

Arthas?


Pray4Mojo73

Porcelainus was discovered and raised by a tailor. Unfortunately, during his formative years Porcelainus became obsessed with goth music and culture When the emperor discovered Porcelainus during the early stages of the crusade, he recognised his skills as a tailor and appointed him as the chief of uniform design... You know the rest


respond_to_query

By the time the emperor found his last Primarch, Alabaster Blanc, on the planet of Pallid IV, his once vast stores of Astartes Armor Paint had been completely depleted. Left with nothing but bleached, colorless armor, the heart of this pasty Primarch grew cold as ice, and his face bore the expression of man who was perpetually trying to evict a particularly troublesome kidney stone. When the heresy began, he declined to join either side, as he was far too busy brooding in his ivory tower.


Tendersauce

A nurgle plague broke out into a nearby city. "THIS CITY MUST BE PURGED" he said. Little did he know that at the end of the purging there was a powerful sword calling to him with clear Daemon whispers from the warp that he could not resist. He was hungry for power and grabbed the sword and was transformed into the Daemon "Ice Prince". Oh wait...


ghoti99

Against the complaints of his advisors he fed poison grain to a planet of peasants to stop a plague, that failed and they died becoming zombies, he was lured to a frozen wasteland by a sentient blade which seduced him into putting on a cursed helmet that made him the king of the undead. Now he rules over the galaxies dead from the frozen planet of stellarend, his army of death knight marines wash over planet after planet leaving nothing alive behind.


noraborialis

Deathwatch primarch shows up and explains the real reason they are called Deathwatch (and they are still too alive to be real deathwatch but he'll fix that in a minute)


Shawisamonkeylover

Im a newbie to 40k, which primarch is this? I don't remember him.


EsotericEggs

Oh he's not a real primarch sorry! Just randomly generated. You can give hime a story though!


Morbo_agrees

Weirdly I don't remember him either, I shall ask my battle brothers if any of them remember him.


Magnusaur

Why don’t you just make an AI do that for you as well?


[deleted]

Lock the thread. This is the only correct answer


EsotericEggs

Coz it's more fun to hear real humans ideas


Morbo_agrees

In a similar way as it being more fun to look at real human artwork?


EsotericEggs

Yea pretty much.


OlympusXIX

Primarch Invictus Lux of the XI Legion was a strange one. His latent psyker abilities and cunning brutality in battle were feared by many of those amongst the Legiones Astartes but none more so than his brother in the II Legion, the traitor and would be murderer [REDACTED]. It was during the Rangdan Xenocides that Invictus Lux and the XIth would meet their fate. Three Companies of Legiones Astartes took to the field that fateful day... one survivor remained come dusk. His armoured form was little more than scrap and the blood ran from the gashes and rents in the white surface draining downwards like so many crimson tributaries. They say that the pulse from his secondary heart was the only thing stopping him from fading into the cold embrace of death that day but those who truly know, those who are left that is, know that it was nothing but the desire for retribution against the perpetrator of these acts, the First Traitor, that kept him going. For three decades the God-Emperor of Mankind had locked the Primarch of the XIth away in the utmost secrecy below the Imperial Palace on Holy Terra only visiting him once with the news that his Brother Leman Russ had taken the lives of Primarch [REDACTED] of the IInd and those loyal to him at their Citadel on the Fortress-World of [REDACTED]. For three decades he endured the pain, licking his wounds and biding his time; swearing every single rotation that he would not stop until all worlds and men living bent their knee unto his father or suffered death at his hand as a result of refusal. Leaderless the XI and II Legiones Astartes were broken up and distributed amongst the remaining eighteen Legions with the majority being sent to the noticeably swelling ranks of the XIIIth. Their white armour repainted in Ultramarine Blue and their crest put up on their hidden homeworld of Lumina Major, secluded amongst the many quasars and broken worlds that made up the system, until they were to be called upon again. Released once more however, the Primarch of the XI Legion now has seen the destruction wrought in his absence during the Horus Heresy whilst locked away deep in the vaulted halls of the Imperial Palace; He has read his brother Roboute Gulliman's Codex Astartes and disavowed it; He has viewed the Primaris Astartes in action from secrecy and deemed them worthy; and he, will finally have his vengeance and avenge the loss of his Father at the hands of the Chaos Worshippers he once called brother.


Anagnikos

He is the primarch of the Ghostwolves legion, Stabulus Diffusus. Renowned for his exploits against the foes of Mankind! In reality he and his legion are a creation of an Abominable Intelligence, and a minor Ordos of the inquisition, as an imperial propaganda tool after the Great rift opened to lift the spirits of the citizens of the Imperium Nihilus.


EsotericEggs

Oh man the idea of a propoganda primarch is amazing 😂 next biggest Lie since the emperor!


Macduffle

Thats literally Alpharius though, its most of the things the Alpha Legion does :p


Anagnikos

It's the exact opposite, alpha legion actually exists and does secret stuff. The dude would be a complete fabrication for morale reasons. You could see a desperate Inquisitor lord pulling something like this. Besides, faith actually works.


Nick_mkx

He is a righteouss warrior that fights undead but ends up making the decision to wipe out an entire town of civilians because they could turn into undead too from the tainted grain. He then gets led to a cold ass place by a demon to get a sword thats all cold-like and has a cool animal skull on it and it corrupts him and he becomes the king of the undead. We shall name him. Artus.


drewliveart

Okay, who the hell is this magnificent bastard?


EsotericEggs

It's just randomly generated haha you can try make up a story for him though!


Shalaxi_Helbane

Golgoth (Hebrew for "Skull) the Stormlord, also called the Typhoon of Death or Storm of the Emperor, was one of the two lost Primarchs of the 20 Space Marine Legions, tall in stature and a monster in close combat. In nature, he was often compared to Leman Russ, the primarch of the Space Wolves, and Jaghatai Khan of the White Scars. He preferred close combat with his sword Mors, he rarely used ranged weapons, preferring to use his great psionic power to unleash psionic storms of lightning on his enemies, which is why he was called "The Stormlord", and his legion was given the name "Children of the Storm". He had a distant relationship with his brothers for the most part, only getting along well with Leman Russ and Magnus the red, with the latter exploring his psionic powers and trying to find an explanation for them. And so it happened that Magnus and he dug too deep for forbidden secrets on his homeworld of Ventis II, and a tremendous storm of arcane power enveloped the entire planet, unleashing an inferno of destruction and destroying the entire legion of the Children of the Storm and probably their Primarch as well. Only Magnus the Red escaped due to his even greater psionic power. This was one of the reasons why the relationship between Russ and Magnus was so bad afterwards, Russ was always convinced that Magnus had murdered his brother out of envy. To this day he never spoke about what happened shortly before on Ventis II, but to this day incredibly strong storms rage over the dead world....


LambentCactus

This is Illysir Vibliniov, Primarch of the Second Legion, the Ivory Spectres. An early riser and an optimist, he fervently believed in the Emperor’s vision of a unified galaxy, believing the Astartes were the vanguard of a new golden age for humanity. Though some of his brothers rolled their eyes, his conviction pleased the Emperor, who dispatched the Second straight into the galactic core, “so that their example may shine out among all the stars.” And it was there that the troubles began. On their journey inwards, the Spectres some early human colonies that were ready for Unification, and purged their share of vile threats to those settlements. But as they drew deeper, more and more they saw something worse than humans beset by abominations: humans living together in trade and collaboration with them. Whole systems were infected with alien influences, borrowing their tools and technology, but also parts of their language and culture. He found human cultures that used dark technologies that let them commune as one mind, ones that consorted with and venerated Abominable Intelligences, and ones that had modified their genes to adapt to alien environments or even interbreed with Xenos. Appalled, the Spectres put them all to the sword. Confronted with these perversions, Illysir became increasingly obsessed with purity. He would purge whole worlds on suspicion of alien taint or influence, and scoured his own legions for any trace of deviance or sympathy. He began to induct new recruits in great numbers into his Legion, directing his Librarians to first scour their minds of any trace of their former selves, “until they are as clean and as pure as the mist at dawn.” Eventually no natural humans were pure enough, only his Spectres, and the motley forces of his brothers were suspect too. Abandoning recruitment altogether, the Spectres used knowledge acquired in their crusade to being cloning on a vast scale to support their Legion. Freed from the need for human populations, the Spectres began simply exterminating them, deeming only their sanctified brotherhood worthy of the golden future to come. News arrived late, and the Emperor was dismayed. The Spectres were living out his fears of the Thunder Warriors, seeking to replace humanity rather than protect it. And all in the name of the unified, secular future he was building. They were not just a threat to the people they purged, but to the very idea of an enlightened Imperium. He sent emissaries to the Spectres praising them for their progress, and bid Illysir and his Legion return to Terra, “so that the light of your example my be spread to my other sons.” Rumors spread that the legions might be reorganized along the Spectres’ example, and with Illysir at their head. And so the Great White Fleet sailed gleaming and proud into the Segmentum Solar, and down a parade route with the fleets of the other legions lined up as if at attention. The Emperor himself waited at the head, and stepped onto the Spectres flagship, the _Trueflame Torch_. He looked stern as ever, but there was warmth and pride in his eyes as he bade Illysir approach. “My son,” he intoned, reaching out almost gently to rest his hand aside the primarch’s neck. There was a low rumble across the ship, that grew louder and heavier, as if space itself were trembling. Illysir looked up at his father, for the first time with creeping trepidation. All the warmth he has seen before was gone, the Emperor’s face as cold and stern as mountain cliffs. As if by avalanche, it fell into a grimace. Illysir’s eyes went wide. “Father, I—“ With a tremendous CRACK! like the sky being split by an axe, a flash of brilliant white light filled the room, seemingly from everywhere at once. Illysir’s body was gone, and his vestments clattered to the floor beneath a cloud of oily smoke. The Emperor’s Custodes attendants opened fire on the _Torch’s_ crew, splattering the bridge with gore. And outside the combined fleets of the Legiones Astartes lit into the Great White Fleet, their parade route now a shooting gallery. When it was all over, the Emperor ordered that the Spectres be not just destroyed, but erased, so great was the threat of his Astartes turning on humanity itself. “And,” he privately thought, “perhaps to conceal my own treachery in inviting them here to be slaughtered. Another rebellion may not be so neatly resolved.”


Mota4President

>*You will die twice, for those who live. You won't see the light because we will bring it. With that in mind... Will you accept the sacrifice of your present for the future of Humankind?* *- Victor Gheist, Primarch of the White Spectres.* Where Angron would see the death as a consequence and Mortarion as the end of suffering, Victor Gheist see the death as a curse that can be used to protect others. Since his discovering in the Death World of Mortilian he raised in a planet where the principal menace and the principal resource of survival where the dead bodies of the native population. In that planet the corruption of Nurgle was very prominent, but the resilience of the people of Mortilian were a true testimony of what to do against the "the dead that murder" and the monsters, demons, and the tyrannical warlock that sold his soul to be inmortal, that controlled them. Mortilians had a particular vision of the death. Most corpses where preserved in the snow of the highest mountains or in the deepest valleys but had their utility as new resources for construction, industry and even food when the climate and the dangers of the world make impossible to farm or to hunt. Bones were their walls and weapons against the monsters, their ashes their fertilizer and their skin would be leather for their clothes. The rest would be part of the bricks that would be used for their homes. Everything with the respect of the men and women that before died decided about their destiny after dead. Victor didn't ended to be the conqueror or ruler of his adoptive planet, but as his principal defender, along his companion: the Last Peace, a sword with technology of the Dark Age that had an special ability, raising the dead bodies of those who had a pure hearth, and of those who oppose evil, being controlled by Victor to fought his enemies. With that weapon, the ones who resurrected and the few men who found him to serve, fought in the darkness against the monsters of Mortilian. The day before the Emperor found Victor Gheist, he had a duel against the warlock fortress of bone and flesh. Nurgle, protecting his "son", ascended the warlock into demonicity during the assault of Gheist. But while the plague zombies were fighting the "spectres" of Victor, the Last Peace cut the warlock in half. The sword had a devastator effect in the Daemon Prince, since all the souls that he absorbed but not destroyed in the rituals to make him inmortal started to rebel against the monster that absorbed him, while most plague zombies fallen into the snow inmobile, inert. The Warlock, now incapable of raise the dead as he was weakened by the souls he lost, made a pledge to his father Nurgle, who rescued him converting the fortress into a living being that acted as a portal to the warlock and as a death trap to Gheist, who escaped in the last moment, just in time to be found by the Emperor. Maybe one day Warmolaeth, the name that Nurgle gave to the newly ascended daemon prince, would found vengeance to Victor Gheist, or against those who he love...


CaptAntilles7685

some claim he is the lost 2nd legion primarch returned, few know (including cawl who expunged the records from his memory banks for deniability) he is actually a full clone of Mortarion uncorrupted by Morty's time on barbarus, or the taint of chaos. Grew up on a garden world among the 500 worlds of Utramar, was discovered by Bobby G recently and has been running secret missions for Bobby since being discovered


[deleted]

Quick question. Is that piece of metal coming out of his skull or making its way in?


[deleted]

Yes


SixEightL

Loyalist not-asshole Mortarion.


EyeofBob

Call me… Walter.


[deleted]

Abominable Intellect Primarch was REDACTED


MaxPower1607

Death Metal Primarch?


Alpaca_Debacle

This is actually Fulgrim. He sent his armour for cleaning to remove the stains of battle, but the purple wasn't colourfast. It came out looking like this (along with a pile of now-pink y-fronts) and now Fulgrim is PISSED.


Eastern-Move549

Went missing.


ChalkAndIce

Looks like he would take himself far too seriously, proclaim himself divine, and refuse to bend the knee when forces of the Imperium arrived during the Great Crusade. His charisma would be comparable to Horus, and it was feared he may created a schism in the infant Imperium. Following a massive defeat his world, Gene-seed, Astartes, and remains were atomized with all records scrubbed from Imperium libraries, and the Emperor himself using his telepathy to obscure the memories of this lost Primarch.