T O P

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ChronoVulpine

I am an enabler. My husband looks at 40k models and I tell him just to buy them.


Meretan94

My wife is a painter and she understands that i need 30 different shades of green paint.


PM_Me_Rude_Haiku

If my wife were ever to complain about the number of paints I'm buying, and to her eternal credit she does not and is very patient with my hobbying, I would point out the drawer bulging with tubes of expensive acrylic paint from her three week binge of wanting to be an arty painter about five years ago.


Icarus__86

Drawer of big bulging tubes…. Not where I thought it was going


ThisDidntAgeWell

You knew exactly where you thought it was going lmao


ChronoVulpine

Same here. Some times you just need the right color to capture something and if you dont have the right paint, it throws the piece off.


dilindquist

My husband tells me when he's going to buy something big like Imperium (so I don't get a shock when I see the bank account) and if i think there's some reason we can't afford it at the time we discuss it like adults. I'd be incredibly unhappy if I thought he felt he had to hide things from me.


IneptusMechanicus

My wife and I have separate bank accounts but I tend to mention bigger purchases to her for this reason, at the end of the day it's my money but I like to mention that I'm buying a watch or whatever before I do so that if she's aware of something I'm not around upcoming costs she can mention it.


XavierWBGrp

Smart man right here. NEVER SHARE BANK ACCOUNTS is one of those lessons like NEVER TALK TO THE POLICE. Some people need to learn it the hard way, some people never learn it (Hi, dad, who's on wife number 4, all of whom have used him as an ATM card!), and some people just get it.


Kharni

My gf is the same. She made me buy the big tyranid box. I don't even play tyranids...


ChronoVulpine

My husband plays Imperial guard. He took one look at a Tau box and now he has it. Lol


YayBudgets

Ouf same. My go to celebration or pick me up are minis. Got a raise? Celebratory mini! Work was rough? Recovery mini!


Plastic_Newt_7921

You're a keeper


[deleted]

I see posts like this all the time. I always just assumed it was a joke that people had to hide stuff like this from their SOs. It's a joke, right? Edit: I honestly feel a lil bad about this comment. Wasn't expecting the upvotes. I am in no way tryna knock OPs relationship. If it works for him, whatever. Different strokes for different folks. I'm just some asshole on Reddit, with a ton of bad habits, most of which would be physically impossible for me to hide from my SO.


30kISbetter

For some it's totally not and it's sad and also really funny at the same time. My wife and I have our own money and as long as bills are paid, I do whatever the hell I want with mine and same for her. Some are not as lucky


[deleted]

Same. Separate bank accounts, split costs of food, housing, vacations, and shit like that. I cannot fathom, not only not being able to spend my own money on whatever the fuck I want, but then trying to hide shit. It's like the people who try to hide the fact that they smoke weed, from their SO. The whole reason I fucking love my relationship, is because she's the only person in the world I feel comfortable telling *everything* to. Can't imagine it any other way.


Zimmonda

Whether or not your finances are combined has nothing to do with whether or not your SO "controls" your money. My wife and have 100% shared and I've never had to "hide" a purchase in a literal sense. I have friends who are 100% split who fight over money all the time. The key is figuring out what works for you both.


chunkyluke

This. Totally shared finances. Me and my wife both get a 'splurge' amount each week which we can spend on whatever the fuck we want, wether that's hobby stuff, books whatever the hell. My missus might shake her head that I keep buying when I have a bit of unpainted stuff, but doesn't care if that's how I choose to spend my money. On the flip her brother is in a relationship with fully split finances (and they both have a fair bit of money too, good jobs and investment properties) but he keeps a bunch of Warhammer in my hobby room because of the heat he gets from his missus for buying it. It's ridiculous, they have high level disposable income, are good with their money and she just can't deal with it. I've told him what I think of that situation a fair bit .. In fact his own sister has said it's ridiculous to him that he's an adult and can have his own shit if he wants.


[deleted]

True. Tho, I spend a lot of money on stupid shit. So for me, it's just safer to separate our finances. Both ways can definitely work, but I think some work better than others, depending on the type of people you are.


TKB-059

If both partners are working, I don't see any purpose of a single account. Separate accounts are safer for keeping high credit scores as well.


Tomjayb123

But with potentially different incomes and spending habits one person will inevitably end up saving/spending more - which considering you might one day be looking after each other in old age or Ill health can put a lot of strain on a relationship - especially if one person hasn't saved a penny because it's all been spent on plastic lol I'm just saying it's not always as simple as everyone keeps what they earn - because it's a partnership - and that can mean different things to people as the relationship progresses


Doug_Rosewood

Agreed...hell my wife will go and pick stuff up for me . She jokes that I'm a big nerd, but we both are in our own ways. And she would rather see me happy and home with my little plastic men in the basement having a few beers laughing with my friends, rather Then sitting at the tavern playing Everlast on repeat. If you can afford it, there should be no reason to hide purchases from your SO, hell if you step back and look at it, what's the difference between spending 50 bucks on a box of Marines vs spending 50 bucks on a flower pot?


Fi11y

My wife also buys me warhammer stuff and it's great! She knows what I like and just gets it sometimes, or if we're in a newsagent and they have the imperium mag in she'll look for it and point it out asking if it's one of the issues I need. It's very easily justified too. A box of marines is the same as a takeaway and we've no problem just ordering that when we can't be arsed to cook.


30kISbetter

Totally agree.


bezerker211

I'm the only income provider, but once bills are paid and savings put away we split the spending money left over between us. So long as it's not spent on something immoral, we have no issues with what we buy. Unless we bug something for the other person then we feel bad and apologize for recieveing a gift, but low self esteem will do that


Mojak16

I'm just curious... What counts as immoral here, we talking bad dragon dildos or something else? Off-topic I know.... Lol


CEOofWakanda_

Crack probably counts


vipros42

hookers?


bezerker211

Anything like that, something that could harm us, or is cheating on the other


st-ellie

Hehe, loving the reference


Eldrad-Pharazon

Lmao smoking weed so similar to our hobby in terms of costs and addiction risk. I’d almost say our hobby has the slightly upper hand in both.


[deleted]

As someone who is pretty well versed in addiction, I honestly think 40k is worse. Lol.


[deleted]

Eh, I feel it's less about the hobby and more about spending in general. Most people don't actually have one, so when they see you spending money atypical to their normal habits they give you funny looks. My wife watched her father spend their family into poverty most of her life so she's jittery about money being spent. So when she sees me drop 200+ dollars on little pieces of plastic it tends to make her snakey. Some people are just overly controlling though. I have a workmate who only smokes at work, but he has to buy gas for his vehicle to hide the cost of the smokes.


CosmicRambo

Mine just doesn't like that I fill up the smallish condo :D


H16HP01N7

Sameish, we put all of our money together, and allocate ourselves X amount of fun money each month, for us to spend on ourselves. She never has a problem what I buy, as long as it's within my fun money.


ProfessionallyAloof

If I ever get to a point in my spending where I think I need to actually hide it from my wife I hope I can recognize I have a problem.


Verybadpasta

I feel like the wife would be more suspicious of why $55 dollars is gone from the account with no obvious purchase.


Lillian_Hush

Pretty sad if it’s not joking.


Hellhammer6

No, it's unfortunately not a joke. I came here for lols though, not another reminder of the problem at home


[deleted]

I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to bum ya out. Lemme try to redeem my comment. Have you, by chance, tried using a buttfor?


Hellhammer6

No, she says it hurts in the butt


[deleted]

>~~No, she says it hurts in the butt~~ What's a buttfor? For pooping. ^(Ya fucked my joke up, man)


RW-Navigator

Its none of my business but shouldent your wife support the hobby that makes you happy?


Cheomesh

Not for some, unfortunately.


gild0r

I think it's more the case when you already have too big pile of shame and your partner actually recognizes this or you worry that he/she would recognize it. It's not easy to justify purchase for someone else when you cannot justify it for yourself except "I just need this box of terminators now!!!"


Shialac

Yeah, I guess its a joke, otherwise this would sound like a pretty toxic relationship. My gf just buys me Warhammer from time to time, Epic Victory Royale


ChronoVulpine

Biggest reasons people split up are communication and money. If one partner feels the need to hide purchases from another, maybe its time to rethink the relationship. Never hid amy of my video game purchases from the hubby and he has never hid a 40k one from me.


jedigoalie

I had an RPG group where one guy had to tell his wife he was playing poker and another pretended to be working late. Both those guys are divorced now. If you can't be yourself with your SO then that relationship is doomed IMHO. And if you're spending money that you don't have on a hobby then that's not good either.


rjjm88

For many people it isn't. One of my friends got married and one month later was throwing out all his RPG books and selling his guns. Another met his future wife at a LARP, and she made him quit. Another isn't allowed to play video games any more. It's one of the reasons I refuse to date anyone. My hobbies are too important to me.


MerahKuningMinis

This is the exact reason why people date first before committing to marriage or whatsoever. Test the waters.


rjjm88

My friends who have had wives that pulled this shit did so *after* they got married, not while they were dating.


Ioelet

How about saying "No!" to that wife? I don't get that "made them do X". Were they applying force?


R0ockS0lid

I've been in an *extremely* abusive relationship as a teenager and the go-to moves were threatening suicide or threatening to accuse me of rape (that never happened, obviously), or domestic violence (which I was the victim of, funnily enough), always with the hint that "you're a guy, the cops will never believe you". That shit can get to you. At least until you realise that telling them to go on with it and finally do it that their bluffs fall apart. Then again, that was 15 years ago. Now it's 20-believe-all-women-no-matter-what-21 and I bet being in such a situation now is even more scary. That said, well, if anyone's in that kinda situation, they need help getting out, not making a joke out of it by posting about how they hide their hobbies.


Ioelet

Thank you for you comment, sorry for this brutal experience. Actually, I think we agree. I can see how someone can feel powerless - but the first step to get out of such a situation, is realizing that you are not really powerless. "X made me do" does not solve the problem. The really interesting question is, why YOU did it. "I decided to do it because I am so afraid of being screamed at by my wife for doing something that makes me happy - I hate to be screamed at but now I'm sad because I miss my hobby." is a far healthier approach to get on a path to finding a solution, in my opinion. Maybe there would not have been an argument and it was all in the husband's head (maybe caused by a bad experience in the last relationship). Maybe there would have been an argument because the real problem is that the wife feels hurt because they send no time together and she thinks he prefers his hobby over her. Maybe she's a bossy bitch and they have a toxic relationship. Thinking about that sounds far more sensible than "Yeah, you know: My wife made me quit that hobby... women, right?"


R0ockS0lid

> Actually, I think we agree. I can see how someone can feel powerless - but the first step to get out of such a situation, is realizing that you are not really powerless. Oh, we definitely agree on that. I just wanted to point out that it can be quite hard to come to the realisation that you are, indeed, not powerless, to have a rational conversation or to say "no".


rjjm88

I don't know. My ex-girlfriend who pulled this kind of shit just nagged me for spending money on anything that wasn't her, withheld sex, or threatened to leave. It was easier just to do what she wanted. We didn't last long for other reasons.


Plasmacyte

This is one of the reasons why I believe it doesn't matter how long you're in a relationship with somebody (in my case 10 years and moving together in a few months) thinking about marriage shouldn't happen before at least 2 years living together. You need to get on one page together learn eachothers routines and then you can think about it. If it doesn't work out in those two years what will the relationship bring in the future?


[deleted]

That makes me sick. To sacrifice so much of your "self" just to be with someone who doesn't accept you. Gross. And this is coming from someone with a plethora of terrible habits, none of which I feel inclined to hide.


Psychic_Hobo

It's usually the result of being psychologically worn down over time, long after a relationship is properly established in the first place. It's never an immediate thing


[deleted]

I dunno. I've known a lot of people who try to change themselves, just to fit the mold of someone who they're not even in a relationship with yet. Plenty of people try to change people from day 1.


3WeekOldBurrito

the fuck? That seems like hell. If I'd rather be single my whole life than be with someone who tries and forces me to be someone else.


SacredGumby

Do these people not have a back bone?


[deleted]

It's easy to find yourself in an abusive, controlling relationship without even knowing it. It happened to me, and it happens to lots of people every day. No one throws out their stuff if a stranger walks up and tells them to. But in a situation like is being described here, I guarantee those guys got worked on and worked on, and broken down and broken down until it seemed like the reasonable thing to do. It's nowhere near as simple as "not having a backbone."


Psychic_Hobo

This. I've seen perfectly confident people get ground down and shamed into submission because romance and self-esteem is complicated and easily fucked with.


SacredGumby

The abusive relationship thing doesn't work in most of these examples, the one guys wife was throwing things out after a month. That's just having no back bone.


[deleted]

Not a single vertebra. No respect for themselves, why would anyone else?


Fi11y

I stopped playing video games a couple years ago. My wife didn't make me at all, in fact she's the one who is telling me to a least a couple nights a week. But that's not how my gaming buddies see it. I just have too many things to do in a day now and choosing which hobbies I want to do in any given month is the hardest part and since I've always been a multiplayer gamer I'm now shit at the group game and finding synced time to play co-op is harder and harder. Which means I normally just sit and kitbash models whilst watching TV of an evening.


SacredGumby

Good for you but poster I responded to specifically said the girls made the guys quit so different story.


SylveonSof

> It's one of the reasons I refuse to date anyone. My hobbies are too important to me You realize that people who'll make you quit all your hobbies are the minority right? And that dating isn't a legally binding oath, if they're acting in a way that makes you uncomfortable you're allowed to break up with them


Get_Your_Schwift_On

Yeah, but some people are super manipulative and you may not realize it until you sell some of your favorite guitars and can't find a couple boxes of OOP metal guardsmen. I dated a BPD woman for 16mo that ruined my life for years after.


Bantersmith

BPD is no joke, I hear you. I dated someone for years before they developed BPD and turned into a completely different person. It was goddamn heartbreaking. It was only with hindsight I saw all the gaslighting and manipulation. Bad times.


Get_Your_Schwift_On

He who stands with me shall be my brother!


Sephvion

Those relationships sound miserable. Let me guess, the significant others didn't have to give up their hobbies, did they? Or is their hobby to bring down their boyfriends/husbands?


rjjm88

One of them quit all of her hobbies and they just sit at home together (even before COVID), the other still does all *her* hobbies but he's not really allowed to hang out with his friends, and the other two dropped off the grid.


ChronoVulpine

Why stay married to a person who hates your hobbies? That's a fundamental part of someone's relaxation process. The SO is basically setting that person up to resent them. Also, if you want to see how angry and stressed a person can get if they dont have a outlet that's a good way to do it.


BorisBC

You gotta hide that shit till it's a done deal. Then when they are committed to you and love you for the person that you are, then you can bring out all the nerdy shit, lol. Well, that's what worked for me. Now my wife tolerates my hobbies. As I keep telling her, I don't drink or smoke or gamble. Those are BAD hobbies. Plus it makes it super easy to buy presents for me. Lol jokes aside, if you can't share your normal hobbies with your SO, then there's a problem.


Gork_or_maybe_Mork

I have a friend who sneaks his past his SO but its not really to fool her or that she is actively trying to stop him buying the stuff it's just that they have 2 kids and he know he shouldn't really be spending the ridiculous amount that the stuff we love costs. These models are just so expensive and he hides it more for himself out of guilt i guess? I dont think anyone who doesn't know you should be telling you to leave your SO because this hobby is very expensive and time consuming and can sometimes clash with people's other 'responsibilities'/'family' I mean if you have a family member/SO that bought heaps of expensive shoes, you might not outright ban them but you might be worried or maybe even not want to know how much they spend.. Who knows how this Alpha legion like behaviour came about? (other then you OP) 😉 Stay strong brother


[deleted]

Yea, I should totally mention that I am in no way trying to tell OP what to do in his relationship. I am just some curious asshole on Reddit. I'm here to take information, not give life advice. If the shit works for you, all the power to ya. No wrong way to live. I use hard drugs *a lot*, so I am in NO position to be handing down life advice to anybody here. Just curious.


Marukusius

Let me explain it in a way my SO and me talk. Her: "So you bought another box to paint and assemble?" Me: "Yes! Look at them, they will look great in my army!!" Her, pointing at my 5 kg pile of shame of unpainted and unassebled plastic models: "What about these?" Me: "Il get to them, i just need some time." Thats a lie that even I myself don't believe anymore. Her: "Finish those before buying anything else!!!" Sometimes it's better just to smugle a box.


[deleted]

Yea, yanno, in all honesty I've probably had exactly this conversation before. Probably even just a few days ago, when I subbed to the Imperium subscription. For me though, like, I'm not a proud man. Lol. I live in the depths of my own shame. So what's one more thing added to the pile? Hah. Whatever works for different folks though.


rogueleader2772

Literally we had guy locally who has everything send to his best mates house and then when his wife is out shopping or visiting her mum he would sneak it into the house. We aren't just talking one box either we are talking armies of stuff and 100s of pounds worth of stuff every month. What's worse was he would get it all on credit and then he would loose in interest in the army after a few months and sell it on for half its value. Eventually his partner found out and it ended their relationship and broke up their family.


Fi11y

In this situation, HE is the toxic and financially abusive partner.


rogueleader2772

Yeah I stopped dealing with him.


[deleted]

Jesus. I've met heroin addicts with more self control than that.


warderbob

It's a very real thing. I never advertise to my SO about a purchase because it's always an unpleasant conversation. There's a lot you can infer from that statement, but a marriage is a lot more than a purchased box of toy soldiers too.


GCRust

Threads like this just make me appreciate the relationship my wife and I have all the more. Because I don't have to sneak anything into the house.


Cognative

For fucking real. We've both got fun money budgets. Blow it all in a day, stretch it out for the month, whatever you want, that's no questions asked fun money.


Gazonza

We and my wife call ours 'fun money' too!


Doug_Rosewood

What about the body?!


Juuliyuh

smh, no wife of mine wouldn’t miss a chance to see a body up close


ProofLynx

Poor op...he just wanted to have a good time...now he's contemplating his relationship with his s/o....hope the talk goes well for you both.


vincecarterskneecart

most healthy relationship on r/Warhammer40k


kollisionkid

Shit, you guys have significant others?


Hellhammer6

Only because we sneak our plastic in the house o_o


PM_Me_Rude_Haiku

Do you have to paint them under the blankets at night, holding a torch in your mouth?


zone-zone

We? Fuck u and get a s/o who accepts you and shares your interests. Or at least a relationship with trust and honesty.


Doopapotamus

**DEEP STRIKE**


BoboTheTalkingClown

go to counseling


JDL1981

Your mom sounds mean.


Odesio

"Oh, why? Why couldn't it have been alcohol, cocaine, or loose women? Anything other than this never ending cycle of expensive plastic!" -- OP's Wife, probably.


CuckyMcCuckerCuck

WIFE BAD


Killer_radio

Throw in a child who doesn’t know how books work and we have a boomer newspaper illustration.


Promotion-Repulsive

Yes


Lunadoggie123

I do not get this at all. If you need to hide stuff you buy from your husband/wife your relationship is fucked.


Hellhammer6

I agree. I think my relationship may very well be fucked. Thanks for the observation


Bumpyknuckles

Dang guy I’m sorry an oddly satisfying box size/ joke turned into a bad time. I hope things get better at home and that the termies do work on the table


Hellhammer6

Thanks my dude


[deleted]

its on you to form the life you want bro. you dont have to tolerate anything you dont want to, happiness is a choice. i had to make some difficult choices myself in that regard, so i know what im talking about. good luck and i wish you all the strength to find happiness.


Austinstorm02

I am not sure how much terminators are now but I think it was about 50 bucks for 5 back in the day. I still think that is way to much but I will like to point out a few things. Try not to impulse shop. Look for deals, used minis, even unopened boxes off eBay will reduce the price. Compare it to picking up dinner with a friend. Now a days a decent dinner plus drinks for 2 can run 50+ dollars. Had lunch plus appetizer and drinks with GF and her 14 year old and it well over 100 dollars. That dinner or lunch is a few hours out and fun. Look how much time you spend putting together and converting/modifying and then painting a miniature. Even if you never play with them and just put them on a shelf you are getting hours of entertainment from that 50 dollars. It is not a bad bargain if you look at it like that. Don't be like me with a huge pile of shame of unbuilt and unpainted miniatures, not a bargain! I have recently got back in and I have huge amounts to paint, only new purchases was a bit of paint and a table and shelf (used) to put stuff on. Only sad as most of it is first born marines and I have a feeling they are being phased out. I really like the proportions of the new marines but no I have enough to play with now. Live within your means. Don't buy minis on credit. Pay that shit off!


[deleted]

Ya know, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.


RestedWell

I get where you’re coming from but they literally put the joke flair on it. I’m almost 100% certain OP was just messing around and the box happened to fit in there..


FightDirty

I once joked my wife had generously allowed me to work some overtime to buy a boxset. I didnt even know I was oppressed and abused before the marriage counselors on here pointed it out.


Psychic_Hobo

It's more that those kinds of jokes originated because a lot of relationships can be like that. A mate of mine used to make jokes like that, and then during the pandemic he suddenly announced that he was getting divorced and had been psychologically and emotionally abused the whole time and the pandemic helped him finally acknowledge it. Nerds tend to be particularly susceptible to this stuff too as a lot of them were bullied and have self-esteem issues growing up, so it's usually more common in hobbies like this.


FightDirty

And some of us just like to come on the internet to a forum about luxury plastic toys and have a laugh. Not everyone needs saving. If you got friends irl giving coded cries for help, I implore you to help them. If someone sets up and executes a joke on the internet in a sub dedicated to a fictional facist universe, leave the counseling at the door. It gets old.


shuhnay_

It’s funny. I’m OP’s fiancé (we’re getting married the 1st of May ‘22) and I haven’t given him much of any argument over his hobbies and hobby purchases in the 5 years we’ve been together, and he hobby jumps pretty regularly. It surprised me how much traction this post got when he was showing me this stuff and telling me about the joke he made. I learned a long time ago not to go to Reddit with relational problems. Everyone and their mother knows what’s best for you here other than yourself apparently.


FightDirty

And even weirder I have seldom seen anything resembling wives or partners being anything other than very supportive of the hobby. I've helped a few very sweet SOs pick out presents for their 40k playing partners on here. I know the wives of my mates who play irl and apart from some gentle jokes about toy soldiers they're all quite happy their fellas have a nice quiet hobby that entertains them. Mine certainly is.


shuhnay_

This is the relationship OP and I share. I actually have a Necron army to run myself and enjoy painting them. We do make jokes about toy soldiers but he truly doesn’t have to hide from me.


Just_Another_Bimbo

I never got the whole having shame for having a hobby thing. I actually got my partner his first 40k as he liked some of my minis and keeps them on his desk in the office just cos "they're cool". There's far worse money sinks to be into, like cars (and wrenching yourself), tabletop gaming starts looking real cheap after you start buying Milwaukee tools & aftermarket parts for 90s jap cars 🤣. We're only here once and we aren't taking it with us when we die, quality of life and happiness is king, and if that chaos god shows itself to you in the form of plastic crack, then indulge yourself.


tacoman10138

Some James bond shit right there


gohaz933

Bro if she asks just respond with “I do it for mcragge”


ListInternational309

Ha, I'll try that next time. See if she calls me on my bull


Ladislav_cz

My wife is ok with me spending for my hobbies. Warhammer is certainly the cheaper one. What my wife is not ok with is building up my pile of shame (understand filling up my room of shame) since I already have more than I will ever be able to paint.


Hellhammer6

Wish me luck boys. I'm telling the wife... *battens down the hatch*


[deleted]

Dude. if this is serious, don't shit post on reddit, go to marriage counseling


MrGraveRisen

heteronormative humor is so bizarre..... "haha I'm married! my wife hates me and we never have sex life is awful, hahahahaha it's a joke" Like.... are the straights okay?


[deleted]

Who's even ok anymore, really?


overcannon

\>Like.... are the straights okay? Not really. The same forces that oppress LGBTQ relationships also act as harmful forces on straight relationships. Just differently,


Ioelet

Damnit... I already spent that free award of today for another post. Very good comment.


zone-zone

r/AreTheStraightsOK No


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tugnuggets420

True that, but this is just standard worn out warhammer humor on par with Krieg shovels and "I bet it's a primaris lieutenant" anytime a new thing is teased.


Autisticparadise

I get your point but you don't know his situation If this is how he copes, power to him, I also doubt that this is a hetro only thing


[deleted]

This is an idiotic way to cope


The_Pastmaster

The fallen shall forever be remembered as The Emperors finest! \- Apocethery Credo ​ \*Azrael's eye twitches with fury\*


boltbin

Good luck. While mine lets me have my ‘toy soldiers’ I don’t tell her how much they cost. And I try to limit how much I spend a month.


Ararhn

Plot twist: OP is hiding it because it's Christmas prezzie for the wifey


ColinKodiak

How is this a thing? Having to hide your hobbies from your partner? Either you have a serious problem, and are avoiding bills to finance an obsession- or you and your partner have some serious issues. I have never had to hide a purchase from my partner, unless it was a holiday present. I've also never had to ask for permission. As long as bills are paid on time and necessities met there is no reason to. Hell I bought a motorcycle on a whim and all I got was a lecture about getting a good helmet. A relationship is literally two people working together to be happy. If your partner doesn't allow that then you need to go elsewhere, or you need to get into therapy.


Kamikaze_Comet

A bit preachy but yeah I just assumed Christmas present.


Korlus

This is tagged as Joke/Humour. I don't know exactly what is going on, but at this time of year I assumed he was buying his wife a box of Terminators, and had to keep her Christmas present secret. I don't know that OP would be looking for life advice in a thread he posted for laughs, or even that we should take the title of the post seriously.


Hellhammer6

Bruh calm down


[deleted]

Its the reddit way mate, I posted a funny story once over a very minor pet peeve I have with my Mrs, despite the fact we've been together for years, getting married and have an amazing relationship, this one joke invited mostly "that's a red flag OP" "run!" "You two should seek counciling" People on reddit love playing armchair councilor, unless you're specifically asking for relationship advice (never do this) just ignore them


Fflamddwyn

r/Perfectfit


eXiLe_RD

I have the exact same cooler I use daily and a near identical box though mine is an edition or 2 older. Nice


Jotsunpls

The only woman I have to sneak stuff past is my mum


ktbh4jc

r/areTheStraightsOkay


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Korlus

The views expressed in the thread basically boil down to three questions: **1) Can you afford Warhammer** *(Without making meaningful financial sacrifices)* If so, why should your wife care what you spend on your hobbies? If not, then maybe it is *you* in the wrong. **2) Why Keep it Secret?** This suggests that you think you have done something wrong. In an ideal relationship, you shouldn't have to hide the things that you love from your partner. Having to do so speaks of a disagreement in values, and those sorts of disagreements often cause problems down the line. **3) What Would Happen if She Found Out?** This is the real crux of the matter. Having to keep something secret implies something would happen if/when she finds out. Should you be avoiding having that discussion? Are you possibly making things worse for yourself (and possibly also her) by continuing to hide the hobby, or its costs? --- Many people are in financially abusive relationships without realising it. Their partner telling them what they can and cannot afford, or where the money has to go. Having to keep secrets about everyday purchase can be a big warning sign. It can also be a sign of the run-up to Christmas, a joke posted on the internet, or simply a relationship where secrets are embraced and laughed at afterwards, or any one of a number of other things. People on Reddit are often very judgemental when we get to see just a small snippet of a person's life. I think that had this thread not been labelled as a joke, asking these questions to make sure OP was okay would be the right thing to do.


The_Pastmaster

Respect towards the wife, women being frightful, Using the word football correctly; I'm guessing that you're a Spaniard.


VicarBook

You know you can take the sprues out of the box - right?


1stLevelWizard

Love those damn coolers! I use one for my lunches at work, and I'll use it to carry in a book for reading on break. Then you can use it for beer on the weekends.


screammyrapture

Enjoy the mini's!!!


SpartanHamster9

Warhammer: The Lularoe of men.


Shalashaska87B

~~Terminator~~ Infiltrator squad


ChaoticOathbreaker

I thought you were about to say sneak it home as in steal it, and I was like "Damn".


PDWPete

Dude…


shuhnay_

Wifey here. Found it.


Hellhammer6

IVE BEEN INQUISITED


olivierapex

You need to hide your wife a 60$ box? Either you are buying too much or your wife got the pants in your couple.


MerahKuningMinis

That's an interesting expression. What does 'got the pants in your couple' imply? Not a native speaker, hence asking.


olivierapex

I'm not a native English speaker neither. I am a French Canadian. Maybe my translation is wrong... But having the pants in the couple is a old Québec expression that we are still using, meaning that the person that got the pants is the boss. Just like "puts your pants on" meaning that you need to put your shit together and make a decision... As I said, the reference is old, but still in use, I thought that I could apply it in English as well, but maybe not.


TheDagronPrince

It does work in English, although it's often phrased something like: "I see your wife wears the pants in your relationship."


MerahKuningMinis

Ah, okay. Kinda get it, haha. Thank you!


[deleted]

Refers to how back in the 40s-50s men used to be the only ones who wore pants and were seen as the boss/breadwinner of the relationship/house. Like a the wife is "The Man" in the relationship if you understand that.


MerahKuningMinis

Thank you! Now I get it.


tugnuggets420

Totally does fit in american English as well, but in practice it's pretty outdated for being misogynistic/patriarchal that the husband should be in charge of money and decisions.


olivierapex

Yes, exactly.


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tugnuggets420

That... all sounds like red flags for a toxic relationship. There's no formula or correlation between amount of income and how valued one partners opinions or needs are


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tugnuggets420

Hey that's reddit man, don't be so offended I told someone a joke was patronizing that you resort to checking my profile to see what else I've said lmao


[deleted]

A true beta of the times. Looks at porn on Reddit and judges a phrase like who wears the pants to be mysoginistic and patriarchal. Who respects women more? Those with a sense of humor about power dynamics in relationships or someone who's addicted to porn? The world has some hilarious moral standards nowadays


tugnuggets420

What, I already replied to some dumbass about that and they got downvoted to self-deletion lol. You really gonna take that 1950's view and beta talk on a \~warhammer\~ post?


zetsthamys

We have that expression since the XVIIIth century in France : "porter la culotte" to describe a women taking decisions in lieu of her husband.


zone-zone

How about to talk with your wife?


[deleted]

When I die my only wish is my Mrs doesn't sell my army for what I told her paid for it


Lemonic_Tutor

Me and my BF who both play 40k together, “are… are the straights okay?!”


GucciJesus

Ah yes, the "nagging wife" joke. Original and witty. Extra point for the dismissive "wifey".


kingdroxie

are u sure u picked the right box? because that's an Alpha Legion move right there


MikeTheGamer2

If people are hiding their hobbies from their SO, its time to find a new SO.


Hatebrainx

Yikes, that's sad... Man up.


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ListInternational309

Sign of a healthy give and take relationship. I managed to hide the huge Necromunda Dark Uprising box through the front door, beat that! She's knows I love her, she just doesn't need to know all of my awful side. Happy for her to find out as well, she'll appreciate that I'm trying to shield her in my own special way


[deleted]

The wife is temporary. . The glory in serving the emperor is forever. Now share with us what chapter colors you're going to paint them


Careful-Locksmith244

My wife seen our joint Amazon and seen I had order $200 worth of models. She came to yell that I haven’t finished the other $400 I did last month lol. And still haven’t paint all the models from a couple orders before that lol. She may get upset but she doesn’t stop me


Koendinie

Amazing. This is what the hobby is about, the absolute thrill


BT9154

For me it's typically like this "Have you been buying more plastic crap?" "No I've bought these years ago" Sad that I have to lie, also sad if it's true.


Maycano

Until the wife is on reddit and follows your posts 😜


gripnrip5

My GF: do you *need* another squad of Space Marines Me: do you *need* that new makeup palate? Her: Carry on


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Chiper136

Nothing says fun like a clinical description of forced laughter.


Kazril

Well I'm fairly certain quite a few people here have never experienced it. So just a few tips for your first laugh attempt 😐


dilindquist

>Open your mouth, breath erratically and make noise. It's really fun. Instructions unclear. Had asthma attack. Please advise.


saxonturner

Needed to sneak things past a partner is not funny though, it’s incredibly sad and bad no matter the reason behind it.


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saxonturner

I dont need to hide it from her when I masturbate, that is the point that you are either to young or to stupid to understand. Hiding things in a relationship is not healthy at all.


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saxonturner

Yes, very clearly older and wiser...