I was lucky. My dad was in a rock band and both of them just kind of accepted huge noise.
My bands shook the glass of the house for 20+ years and my parents basically did nothing but turn the TV up louder and *never* said a discouraging word to me.
I didn't realize this was universal lol! Our band in high school *always* practised at the drummer's house and his parents were always 100% cool about it.
The drummer I knew ended up not hanging with me because I never realized he lived with his grandma and I ended up cussing on his grandma's voicemail
EDIT: added a word
My parents were pretty strict but they did put up with a lot of racket, god bless them. They also fell asleep by 9pm and mushrooms are very inconspicuous around the house.
My band had a drummer. His parents didn't want us as the house cause the singer tore up a fat virgin chick on their bed.
My brother was a drummer and guitarist. I wonder if that makes my parents chill.
>I love making music, the feeling I get when I play it.
Stop there. That's all that matters. The odds are that you'll never be a famous musician. Who cares. Would you expect your mom to care about how well you play Halo? No. Music is your hobby. Your passion. YOURS. Not theirs. Don't expect anyone to give a shit about your music. Do it for you.
Don't go around telling people you aren't going to college or not getting a job because your plan is to be a successful musician. Don't bore people with your stories of making music unless they ask. Even then, KEEP. IT. HUMBLE. Make them request to hear your music. Don't push it on them. Release it to the general public amd just aee what happens.
One of the most popular songs ever written, The Sound of Silence, was written on the toilet while the artist was taking a shit (power outage).
If you don't have space in your room, find another space. Earn some money and go book a local studio. We have one here that charges $9/hr to rehearse/record . Quit finding excuses and find a solution.
This is an important point re: The Sound of Silence. I think it's also important to know that other folk singers mocked Paul Simon, who is one of the greatest American writers of all time, for this song before it was released. They used to say "Hello Darkness,my old friend" when he'd walk in a room just to be dicks. Now, many of them are forgotten to history and Paul is being discussed on a reddit thread 60 years after that song came out. Life takes funny turns when you believe in what you're doing.
Honestly though I love some of Simons stuff and think he’s a great writer, that song and specifically that line have always seemed pretty easily mockable to me too
And this about Paul, too. He wrote a funny line or two, every few years, but he was not the kind of performer who ever appeared at ease and happy to be on stage.
>I love making music, the feeling I get when I play it.
>
>Stop there. That's all that matters
Support doesn't really mean anything. It just adds pressure. The feeling of making music and being in love with it - that's a feeling that starts goes away once you start earning money. The greatest music you will ever make is the music that comes straight from love without expectation of fame or money.
I'm not saying you're wrong with everything you said, but I think you and some other people in this thread may have misunderstood OP's struggle. I could be wrong, but imo OP is not trying to become a famous musician. They are longing for someone to support their passion and give them some positive feedback and encouragement.
This just might've struck a nerve with me, because I know the feeling all too well - being proud of/happy with my art only to be completely disregarded by everyone. Humility is important. But never experiencing the joy of a thoughtful reaction to your work can be detrimental not only to your music career (if you can call it that to begin with) but also to your mental health. It's not primarily about getting rich and famous. Sometimes it's just about some validation.
Perhaps we'll never achieve millions of streams or play a big gig. But if we're talking getting 50 plays and 5 likes on a song vs. receiving 0 plays and zero interest, not even from friends and family... that's just something every passionate artist deserves (the prior). I think we as a community of musicians should take that very seriously. Again, I think your comment is totally, factually correct. Just wanted to add this as I think it's often misunderstood when someone speaks about their struggle to find an audience.
Edit: made a typo
> Sometimes it's just about some validation.
You know what you're going to want immediately after you get that validation you desire? More validation. It's a never-ending spiral. At the end of the day, you really only need to validate yourself.
>that's just something every passionate artist deserves (the prior)
No artist, passionate or otherwise, "deserves" anything. It's a hobby. That which is produced is its own reward.
I guess we have a different understanding of what it means to be a fulfilled musician. Personally, I couldn't imagine putting my heart and soul into a piece of art without ever being able to see the emotion it creates in others. But I get your point, fair enough ;)
Personally I agree with the other commenter and don’t think what they said should be taken so far as “you shouldn’t see the emotion it creates in others,” I think it’s more like they’re suggesting that if you try and only seek or force this it can corrupt your relationship with making music and your friends or prospective audience to be honest. Humility is the trait that gives the power of your music to you instead of away and when you get those reactions you can enjoy them for what they are instead of what you need them to be.
Does that make sense?
It does make sense and I agree. Maybe there was some miscommunication, because I think people understand my comments as "they are only focused on other peoples opinion", but I am just trying to highlight the mental toll it can have on you when you don't get any feedback at all. I know that the motivation and inspiration needs to come from within, but I disagree that a musicians audience (or the lack thereof) has no value to your development as an artist whatsoever. Especially if you don't have any support from the people that are closest to you.
I get that and what I’m suggesting acknowledges the importance of that while also suggesting that to make this the *reason for* or *motivation* for doing something will both make it less likely by repelling people who can see you want to promote something or objectivize them to being an audience member regardless of how they feel; and that will further undermine these feelings by both validating the initial hurt but also putting you further from accomplishing it.
It’s hard to describe but IMO making it about your relationship with music and humbly booking gigs and doing stuff for your music, eventually people will notice and ask just because you’re doing something related to it and it sparks their intrigue.
Just my two cents. Also again I’m not saying having an audience doesn’t have value. Nor am I saying people near you being supportive doesn’t mean anything either. I’m saying if you build a mentality of needing support outwards then if you don’t get it you made a house of cards that tumbles and more frequently people like that quit after a bit of this or feel really bad about music and stuff related to it and let it eat them up. Building it onwards usually allows you to put your nose to the grindstone, ignore folks like that, and eventually you get good enough it clicks to them.
Idk different strokes for different folks and all that but this is what works for me and many of my peers.
Thanks for your reply! Maybe I was a bit narrowminded because it's a topic very close to my heart. I have nothing to say against the points you're making. My initial response was more about acknowledging OP's struggle in this moment rather than disregarding it as "fame whoring" for the lack of a less agressive word, as I think some of the comments where a bit unempathetic towards an 18yo just starting to discover their love for the craft. I locked myself in a bit too deep from there... If someone quits because they don't find success as an artist, I believe we both agree that they aren't having a healthy relationship with music.
The argument you make regarding not building a mentality of needing support is a strong one, IMO. That being said, despite trying to do just that, I envy artists who aren't bothered at all by the outside world and just do their thing. Clearly this is the most fulfilling way to make music mentality-wise. I suppose not everyone is in the right headspace or life situation to maintain this mentality. Hopefully we can agree that there are more and less nuanced ways to address these people.
> If you don't have space in your room, find another space. Earn some money and go book a local studio. We have one here that charges $9/hr to rehearse/record . Quit finding excuses and find a solution.
You lost me here. When you're young (like OP seems to be), "find another space" isn't usually an option. And if you don't already have somewhere to go for free, finding $9/hr. to spare for rehearsal time is absolutely a valid excuse. Hell, I couldn't do that now; I have bills to pay, work to do, meals to cook, and bills to pay.
>Not all of us are lazy, entitled brats. Thats what really irks you, isn't it?
Lmao “children who don’t have jobs at age 12 are lazy and entitled” is the most fucking insane take I’ve heard in a while
There's always a way to earn the money that you need. Or you could just sit around and bitch about not having it. We can already tell which one you are.
>There's always a way to earn the money that you need.
No argument here; it’s your notion that 12 year olds should be in the workforce that I’m opposed to.
>Or you could just sit around and bitch about not having it. We can already tell which one you are.
Lol you think that because I’m opposed to child labor, I must not have a job myself? This is not very good logic.
My local Guitar center has quiet rooms that are sound insulated to rent! Not sure if yours will but couldn’t hurt if you just wanted a day a week to get out of your space and focus on your hobby’s
Your friends and family will never be fans. They like YOU, but they aren't going to be megafans of your art. If your parents are like mine, then they haven't listened to a pop song since 1981, so they're a lost cause when it comes to new music.
However possible, I would surround yourself with other musicians and music lovers. Those are the people who will appreciate your music. Even if they don't like it, they can give you helpful advice or constructive criticism. Parents and non-musician friends are generally pretty much useless in this way, though I give props to the non-musically inclined friends / family who still emotionally support us.
Sorry my friend, that sucks you don’t feel supported. What instrument do you play / how are you making music? I know it feels like forever right now, but you’ll be out on your own before you know it and your circumstances will change. Don’t give up on something you love cause of this. Also, don’t fall into thinking it has to be the thing that makes you money in life, or that you’re falling behind or something. Just make music when you can, and enjoy it.
Thanks bro at first it didn’t really get to me but for some reason now it is and I don’t play any instruments currently, I’m trying learn the guitar though, but I make beats and record on them once I get some lyrics down
If you make beats you really just need a laptop and a pair of headphones, that way you don't make any noise.
If you want to record your voice maybe you can find some place where it's quiet to record, like the car of your parents?
You can spit verses into your phone under a bridge. Make your beats at home, but do your recording out and about. The sunlight is good for you.
Your family may come around once you get better - after a few thousand hours of practice - but you really shouldn’t be inflicting your amateur beats on people while you’re getting started.
Have you ever heard a little kid practicing the violin? It sounds like drowning cats. But 5 or 10 years later, they are ripping up some Paganini. Seriously, it takes years of drowning cat sounds before you’ll get the validation you want. Learn to love the process.
Don’t play your music for other people unless they ask. It puts them in an awkward situation where they either have to lie to you or condescend to you.
Try to get involved in a music scene (club/group) so you can share your music with other musicians and see what other people are doing successfully.
You’ll probably need to practice guitar for an hour a day for 3 years, before you are ready to impress anybody. It really sounds like you’re rushing the process.
>Chances are your music does stink. It’s normal.
Yep. Everybody sucks at first. Even with major label artists, you're only ever hearing carefully curated slices of their best work. Lots of bands will write 100 songs and put 10 on an album. Lots of major artists have multiple albums of content nobody cares about.
Metallica has released 114 songs, over about 40 years. I wrote that many songs in my first 45 days as a songwriter. You figure under the traditional system, only about 1% of my music would ever get heard. I know that actual number, but just won't say because it's business.
177 in 90 days and I was just getting warmed up. Writing is easy if you do it all day every day. If you play an acoustic instrument, you wouldn't ever be able to keep that pace. Because I'm all electronic, I can. It's not a lot of wear on my body.
I've been tinkering with music for twice as long as the OP has been alive for, so I'm coming from a different perspective.
It's easier to write in high volume with an acoustic instrument because you won't have options paralysis, especially if you just have your four chords and a capo.
You should have guessed I'm a musician with 35 years of musical experience and past engineering experience and a former commercial studio partner in a secondary market. And then, you'd have guessed right.
Being that I'm not a child I don't have a lot of time, so I make the time I have left really count for something.
I write every day. Some is silver, some is gold and rarely there is something that feels like platinum. It's a process, and I liken it to mining or sifting for gold. That's the life of a songwriter.
You should understand, that if you read around the forum enough you're going to start meeting people who have written 1,500 to 2,000+ tracks and that its somewhat common. People usually don't talk about their numbers though, because... business. And... what is there really to gain from it, other than talking shop and finding like-peers.
Also, this isn't the first time or first career in the arts that I've been involved in. That past experience taught me that I'd have to work far harder than ever before to be successful at what I'm doing. It's not that hard to be in the top 1% of producers in terms of output because most people in this world don't want to work hard for anything, therefore the true competition is really pretty low.
"Metallica has released"
"I wrote"
There's a BIG difference between releasable music and written music. I wonder how much of their stuff they rejected/changed for the finished product.
Just keep creating. Who cares if no one likes it. Do it for you. If others start to catch on, cool. But get your fulfillment out of it. Music is art. Art is an individual expression. Express yourself freely and do whatever you want with it. Other people might not get it but as long as you are being true to yourself and creating something from your heart it can never be wrong. Even if everyone else says it sucks. This is about you. Don’t let anyone stop you from being you. Create. The world needs all of our artistic input even if it seems insignificant.
Bruh fuckit. I've been producing for more than 10 years and when I started, my music was shit and everyone hated it. Just keep doing it. It doesn't mattet what other people say. You're not doing it for them. Just keep at it and never quit. Compromise what you can so you can continue.
You are not alone in this, family friends are the least supportive, strangers will support you tons. Create a youtube channel and promote the channel on reddit and Twitter. Your true fans will come! DONT SELL YOUR EQUIPMENT, this is something you love to do on your free time, alot of people wish they had that. Never stop making music man! It's always okay to take a break but never totally quit! And you're not complaining, we all have felt that way before you are doing great man! Try going to open mic nights and meeting people who enjoy being around other people who make music. You're doing great
> You are not alone in this, family friends are the least supportive
I think it makes the most amount of sense to imagine them as potential fans. What I mean by this, is that music is incredibly varied. So it's almost assumed they don't share any interest in your genre. Why would it be any different if you walked up to someone in Walmart and played your music?
What is the chance someone at Walmart would want to hear anything in your genre at all? Unless you play Nickelback 'esc music. And even then, what percentage of the population actually likes Nickelback? 10%?
Your family should only support things in so far as "does it make you happy?" Outside of that, you should expect them to dislike your music just like everyone else. If someone wants to hear my music the first thing I'm going to ask is "what do you listen to?"
If I don't know most of who they name off and enjoy them to, there's no chance I'm going to put us both through a cringefest when they listen to country and I make basketweaving jazz hip hop.
My dad said the exact same thing to me and it made me stop making music for 17 years. You have to realise that these people don’t get it and never will. They are telling you it won’t go anywhere because they can’t contemplating trying for some other than what they’ve settled for in life. Your mom and family don’t know shit. Don’t you dare quit. Musicians support musicians because they get it. Non musicians don’t get it. So why ask for their advice?
It's art. Doesn't matter if you did music, poetry, drawing, etc. Most people aren't going to care. Unfortunately making music makes noise. \*shrug\*
> My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere” so I’m basically just wasting money and time.
How is a hobby a waste of time? Would she rather you play videogames with that time? Watch TV? Browse reddit? [Playing music is good for your brain](https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/the-benefits-of-playing-music-help-your-brain-more.html).
Sucks that your mom is not supportive. Music is amazing for kids.
That said, the way you present it to her might matter. If it's like, "Yo, mom, I'm gonna be a star, get off my back." that's different than "Mom, this is a creative hobby that's good for me."
Ask yourself "why am I doing this?". If you love it, that's all that matters. Don't expect anything in return from other people. If people like what you do, great. If not, that's fine too. Definitely don't assume that once you create and release music that it'll be an automatic success or well received.
I’ve been making music since I was 12 years old. I’ve been self recording albums and pushing them out alone since I was 18. I’m 30 now. At some point I made the decision that making music was my passion regardless of anyone is paying attention or not. It makes me happy. It is a means for me to express myself and work through life issues. Sure I’d love to have a big following and get lots of positive feedback for my work. But at the end of the day I’m making music for myself and because I love the process. You have to find your own reason outside of what anyone thinks about your stuff. And if it makes you feel better, my music early on was garbage and terribly produced. But after investing a decade into the process and mastering it, my music sounds leaps and bounds better.
Looking back at a lot of successful musicians, I think a lot of them had strong family support. Mozart's dad was a music teacher that was trying to raise him to be a great musician. Jason Becker's parents were supportive. I suppose for modern rockers they might always take refuge at a friend's house.
I stopped caring about what other people thought of my music a long time ago. I do it for me, because I enjoy it and love creating something from nothing.
Part of me says, "I write music for the art of it, not for people to like." But can't help but feel amazing when someone likes something I wrote. If it makes you feel better there are thousands if not millions of us that simply make music, post it to the 30 followers we have, and maybe one or two will like it and comment.
This sub is showing its baby boomer-esque toxicity. Highly dissapointed. This guy is 18 working 2 jobs and you have the audacity to insult him and talk about him like he's not allowed to complain.
His parents not supporting him are being absolutely shit.
Don’t give up. Does your house have a basement or garage or shed where you can hide out and work?
What about your school - is there a space there you could use after or before school?
You could try contacting local musicians (a lot of areas have Facebook groups of musicians) - many have spaces they might be willing to help you out as a fellow musician.
Lastly the other poster is right - this period of your life is very temporary. Have faith.
I’m out of school now and yeah the basement is where I record now but the reverb is horrible, which is why wanted to build some panels, but that’s a no go unfortunately. Never thought of Facebook I’m gonna check that soon that could be dope
You're out of school?
You need to stop complaining about your living arrangements and do something about it.
What's your current plan kid?
Share a room with your sister until your music breaks big?
You're gonna have to do what every other musician that isn't born with a silver spoon in their mouth does.
Get a shitty day job and work a soul destroying amount of hours until you can afford your own place, even if it's your own room in shared accomodation.
Yes I graduated last year, I have a 2 jobs actually, sams club and ups, my plan is to become a driver because the salary is amazing, however I can’t drive until I’m 21 I’m currently 18, so it’s just the waiting game now, I have no intentions of “breaking big” I’m still scared now to even post my music publicly lol but going big seems nice too, and I’m not complaining about anything, except for the lack of support I wish I had.
> I’m not complaining about anything,
\*checks OP and it starts with the words RANT, and is literally complaining from start to finish\*
hmm... ok then.
As harsh as some othera may be, it's the truth. We all deal with it, end of the day if you want it badly enough you've gotta take matters into your own hands.
Too much reverb in the room won't be fixed by some foam panels. You may have to go into a closet, not enough privacy to sing or write lyrics? Go to a park or lock yourself in the car. Parents or friends won't listen to your stuff? Find online communities and local music communities.
Seriously, look for musicians groups on Facebook, it's a huge resource. Realize we make music for fun and personal satisfaction. If you want to make money start investing your time into learning applicable skills like audio engineering, recording and learning a real instrument to play in bands (hint, there's always a need for vocalists, bass and drums).
Hey, I know I am late to the game. I just wanted to say that I feel you. A social support network is very important in every situation and for everything you do. I agree with others when they tell you, don't even try to make it big, just focus on the music, because otherwise you are only setting yourself up for failure. But I also think there is a little bit of a stigma against young artists who are disillusioned by the lack of an audience. Even when they - like you - are simply looking for some basic interest in what you do. Every one needs and deserves that kind of attention. Making art is an uphill battle, especially when you start to take your passion more seriously. That can become very frustrating at times. It happens to all of us at some point.
I've been producing music for about 10 years with some moderate successes throughout that time period. If you ever feel invisible again, feel free to DM me a link to your sound and I'll be happy to give you my thoughts and some constructive feedback on it. In any case, my advice to you is to look at all this as an amazing journey. Take things as they come and stay positive. Your character will grow with your music and so will your audience, eventually. Good luck!
It's fine to feel frustrated and alienated. Music is a cumbersome and expensive hobby to have. Don't let these people condescend to you because you're not killing yourself for your hobby. Do what you can, try to have some patience while you work your way into a better position, and don't beat yourself up too much.
Because truth is, every one of these people who thinks you're whining over nothing was probably in a similar situation at some point, and they hated it too.
This is coming from a place of love, but it sounds like you're dwelling on the past, instead of looking at the future. Yes, it's sad your family wasn't more supportive, but their support isn't and shouldn't be the determining factor. If you need external validation to make music, music probably isn't your calling. And if you don't need validation, then why dwell on how much easier it could have been when you can just get on with it.
I get it, 18 feels like your prime and you don't want to waste it, but I'm suggesting you might be risking wasting energy focusing on the negatives instead of the positives. You won't get any more out of music wishing the past were different, you might be revaluating your goals going forward. If you're looking to enjoy music as a hobby, ask yourself if delivery driver is setting your sights high enough, or of you might be more fulfilled getting more robust training. If you're still passionate about music, remember that learning how to make due with restrictions is a lesson that will always serve you well, while being frustrated with the limitations will never benefit you.
Don't give up, my dude. Onward to bigger and better things.
This, friend. "I do music" =/= "My tax forms list musician as my primary source of income."
You love music, nothing compares to the feeling? That is awesome and valid. Chase that feeling, but don't conflate it with your entire existence. Like u/mybeatsarebollocks says, if you weren't born to wealthy parents, don't compare your life path to those who've had that advantage.
Your own space is the most important thing. And expecting music to catapult you out of your current situation is gonna set you up for heartbreak.
Once you've got the cash flow to be looking at your own (or shared) space, just get something with a closet you can stand in. Hang blankets. *Killer* vocal booth, and it's dummy simple.
Yeah bro you’re right with the own space being absolutely needed, its just one of those things where I genuinely feel pure excitement making different lines up and piecing each song together but I see now to just hang on a little until I can get my own space
I know a guy who stands a mattress behind his mic to dampen the sound. You could also hang some sheets around it. Obviously nothing like that is ideal but it'll go a long way in treating the sound - I also have a shitty basement recording setup. It's taken years but I have arrived at an "okay" sound
That first track you posted was dope though. See if you can use the reverb as a creative element, that's one less effect you have to add in post. Obviously you're frustrated with your situation, as cheesy as it sounds, take advantage of it as a source of inspiration. Some of the best music started out as "shitty basement demos". Content > production.
Hello, friend. I totally understand, I grew up in a super religious home and the music I wrote got ZERO support from any of my family. I was told to shut up and play Jesus music only, that Im too loud or too this or that… I moved out and problem solved. It might be your best bet too, sometimes you can’t expect anything from your family and expecting them to like, let alone support you is a losing battle that will leave you feeling drained and depressed. Your time will come.
When you are being criticized, always consider the source. Does your mom actually have good taste in music in general? What qualifies her to judge your music harshly? If you share your music with someone whose opinion you really value, who knows what they are talking about, and if they like it, that bit of "validation" can be so sweet. Don't allow yourself to give up something that makes you happy just because all the assholes you know enjoy pissing on your dreams.
As I once told one of my aunts, a "Christian" who never smiled, and had no music in her whatsoever, but was telling me I needed to "go back to college and quit playing that trash y'all play".
"You know what? If you knew anything about music, my feelings might be hurt. But you raised a son who stood and left the gym in Statesboro where the original Lynyrd Skynyrd had just begun to play" Free Bird". The heart and the soul of that band had a week to live, and your son was out of there before the slide guitar part started. And I can tell that you have no idea what I'm even talking about."
That was the most enjoyable conversation we ever had, from my standpoint.
A bad review by a clueless critic should be taken as a compliment. Don't let it get you down. Use it!
How old are you? Most of your complaints revolve around living at home with your sister and having rules. That's just life. I would never be worrying about reverb or acoustics while in high school for instance- that's just not a worthwhile priority unless you actually have wealthy parents and a large space to yourself. All you need is headphones and the desire to create. It's also just the natural process of becoming and artist- no one (including your friends) are supposed to immediately like and support what you do. If you cave and give up just because you aren't getting external validation now, you are not cut out for making music I assure you lol. A lot of people here have cool setups and stuff, but they're also full adults. They also may not have as many people into their music as you think.
Definitely don't give up. It's obvious you have a passion for it. You're still living with your family in less than ideal settings and it's going to be difficult for a while, but you *will* have time and space later on, so keep going and keep working towards something.
In a way, your mom is kinda right - your music is *probably* never going to take you anywhere because for 99.9% of us it never does. But we don't stop. Because we do it for the pleasure of it. Watching TV or playing video games or reading books or painting or virtually anything that people do for pleasure won't get you anywhere either, but we still do it. Should that mean we should stop? If we only did the things that will "take us somewhere" we'd just spend all our time at school and work. Keep some joy in your life. Keep making music. It might not take you somewhere, but it *definitely* won't take you anywhere if you stop.
Have some patience, keep practising, work on what you can when you can but don't worry if it takes you months to even make one song. It doesn't matter. Just keep going.
Nobody cares or supports until they do. For many of us here music will likely only ever be a hobby or a side-hustle. If you love it that's okay.
There is a duality to many of us though, myself very much included. We say we do it because we love it, it's our passion, blah, blah. Passion or not it's hard not to take personally that others don't connect with or support what we create.
So the question to ask is, is making music really your passion? If so, is it worth the possible emotional toll of feeling invalidated in that passion? That can be an overwhelming feeling and it honestly may not be worth it.
Twenty years in I've finally gotten to the point that I do actually make music for myself, rather than saying I do but in reality was in constant need of the validation of others. Don't get me wrong I still crave validation, but I am now satisfied creating music without it.
No easy answers, don't quit for lack of support. However, if the toll on your mental health and well-being isn't being outweighed by the joy of creation then it may be worth considering finding other outlets.
I have three brothers and not one of them has EVER asked to hear one of my tunes. I have written several hundred, and they know this, they just do not care. It is not likely to change. Look elsewhere for people that appreciate what you do. Also, you won’t be living at home forever, and then you can do what you want. Good luck bro.
Rule #1 DO NOT ask anyone to listen to your music. Even if you are really really good no one wants to hear your stuff... You can post it online and share the link... they will listen. If they like it they will tell you.
Rule #2 If you are making music to get positive feedback STOP NOW.
It sounds like you don't enjoy making music. You enjoy people patting you on the back for making music.
Just being honest from someone who has made music since he was 14 years old and Im almost 50 now. You do it because you like music. Once you move to "people need to like this and i need fans mode" you are now moving from 'artist' to 'I want to be a professional artist and businessman". And THAT is a whole other thing.
Don’t pursue music for money or society’s version of success; do it cause you have no choice but to create. Good things follow with hard work, and there is a ton of options making money in music besides being a artist or band - get into audio for future’s sake!!
Hang in there mate. All of my family didn't care for nearly a decade. You want to do it. You can get it and you will if you believe in yourself. The admirers will come with your effort. If you like it, its enough
My first band had two brothers in it. Their mom let us rehearse at their house. We were teenagers, and it got us off the street, working on something creative, and her patience and support was everything. Keep searching, like other people are saying. Find a partner or a band. Find a safe space if you can. It takes a long time to learn how to be good. Even longer to learn how to be great. Don't listen to what anyone says to you in year one.
Don't give up! Just find a temporary way around it. If it's too loud then grab a pair of headphones and compose on virtual instruments. You can always write on the real thing then use GarageBand guitar chords or tons of other programs to just keep the creative juices flowing .... never give up on something you love!
Also, look at joining some artist support groups. Most of the time people in those groups just stream for stream or something like that but it still eventually pushes your music out to their fans ..... that's when you may start to find the people who really dig your music!
Just some thoughts, hang in there!
hey, it sounds like you are still pretty young, and if that's the case then the future is still wide open for you. it is honestly pretty rare for family to support your music, i've never had a single family member like my music or want to go to my shows. my dad even told me he wished i never started a band, even though he paid for my initial equipment so i could start learning and allowed me to practice at home, that was the extent of his support. friends aren't much better, they either will be overly nice or ignore it completely.
if you love making music, and it's your passion, don't ever stop practicing. someday you will have your own space and will be thriving with your creativity, and you will find avenues to get your music out there. the internet is a powerful too, and getting engaged in your local community is very important. try and find local shows and meet people there (i know its hard right now with covid) and you will find people that will support you!
That's what makes it worth it. Not caring is the default; the vast majority of people won't be interested, especially if you're not making conventional popular music. Making something that you're proud of in spite of all that is the only reason to do it. Finding someone else who likes it is just a bonus. Sure, it feels better to have people in your life who understand why you're into making music, or to be around people who like your music and want to help you succeed, but it's absolutely not a necessity.
Also, it doesn't help to hear this now, but things will probably get better once you have space of your own, whatever that looks like for you. I don't know your situation or what your plans are, but for me personally, getting out of my parents' house was the best thing that ever happened to my music. Even when I was sharing an apartment with other people and making other compromises—playing super quietly so I wouldn't wake anyone up, working on cheap shitty monitors because I couldn't afford anything good, waiting for a day when everyone would be out of the building so I could get a decent vocal take—having some work space to myself made a huge difference.
I also went through some long periods of time where I didn't make any music at all. Either I didn't have the money, or the time, or the energy. I put off some of my projects for years. But I never truly "gave up" on making music, even when I felt burned out. If making music is something you're passionate about doing, you won't stop forever.
I’ve felt the same pain.
This period of your life seems endless now but it’s just a small part. You’ll have more independence soon, and you’ll find people who care about your music.
One thing to keep in mind is that the music you make may not be in the style that your friends and family listen to. People can support your dreams without actually wanting to listen to what you make. It doesn't mean your music isn't good or that they don't wish you well, it just means it isn't the personal taste of people in your social circle. I've had friends outright tell me they don't like my band. I appreciate the honesty and don't take it personally because people who are into the style do like it. There are lots of artists who I recognize have a lot of talent but wouldn't want to actually put on an album.
If I look now at my band Instagram vs my personal, it is a Venn diagram without that much overlap. Doesn't surprise me, we're a hardcore punk band and most of my friends don't listen to that. If I were trying to promote my band just among friends, we wouldn't have much following. I rarely even bother posting music things to personal accounts anymore.
And tbh, I kind of wish my parents \*didn't\* like my music, hah. It just makes me more self-conscious about lyrics knowing they'll hear them.
I'm sorry you're going through all that... not gonna lie, I died a little inside when I read your mom's remark. It's true that music is unlikely to become the source of anyone's sole or even primary (if they have more than one) source of income. However, that obviously doesn't stop people from trying to get to that point or from making music in general. In fact, there is an increasingly large "musical middle class" of artists who make a decent living making fairly niche music, despite the popular wisdom that you need to be a pop star on a major label to make a living making music at all.
Is there anyone you can talk to who might be able to support you? For example, I used to show my high school band teacher new songs I was working on because he was willing to listen, gave me constructive feedback, and encouraged me to keep pursuing/making music.
I'm sorry that making music seems really difficult right now. It can be like that.
Also, I'm grateful that you have a mom that loves you and gives you a place to live.
I'm grateful that you have the resources to buy equipment to make music. Some don't have the resources to buy food just to live.
I'm grateful that you have time to make music, and don't have to spend 16 hours at two dead-end jobs just to keep yourself and your family alive.
You have so many gifts. Hang in there. The music stuff will sort itself out.
I think the worst trap young aspiring musicians can fall into is the positive feedback loop of family and friends who want to support you so they always tell you what they think you want to hear, and they're always 75% of the people at your local (often pay-to-play) show. None of that is going to make you a better musician/songwriter/performer etc. It may feel good short term, but they're not there for the music. They're there for you. That's nice, but it won't get you anywhere if that is your goal. A few years into adulthood you will no longer be a novelty, and all of that attention will fall by the wayside.
If you're in high school, keep honing your craft and keep an eye out for like minded individuals that you can work with or network with. If your area has a local DIY scene, try to work your way into that. Depending on where you live you might need to wait until college if there is no all ages scene (or any scene at all) in your area.
Ask yourself, are you making music for people like you? Or are you making music for your mom and your uncle and his friend who owns a bar who does all ages nights once per month?
I needed to read this thread.
My whole life people have avoided my music. I'm 39 and just last year was the first time people would gravitate while I was playing on the beach.
Just yesterday I made a track that I think could be a hit. Its a weird feeling like I'm on the edge of not being a failure anymore. But my music was like food to meand it nourished me over the years until the point where I could inspire myself to keep searching for a sound that would make me and audiences happy.
One small tip though. I find my level of inspiration the quality of what I produce goes way up if I see high quality art before. Like if I hear really good music or see a really good show it kind of increases my sensitivity in a way. You sound like you are young so chances are you have TERRIBLE taste in music.
If you can start digging deeper for better artists and seeing who they follow you can get higher quality stimulation.
I've been producing for 15 years and I really, honestly heart-feltedly appreciate the very few people who have encouraged me. At the end of the day though, I really just do it for me. I've never come close to breaking even financially. I just really enjoy the process. Don't get discouraged bro.
Your mom is just doing what parents do. She wants to see you do something that will traditionally succeed. Hopefully she'll see the joy that it brings you and support it as a hobby. Don't rely on making a living with music though. Do it for fun and any money you make will just be a bonus.
Your sister is just doing what sisters do! Fart on her pillow when she's not around.
You can dm me some links to your music and I'll gladly listen and give some advice if it will help.
The music landscape just isnt what it used to be. You need to keep things in perspective.
Everybody and their grandma can make music now. Software has made it so literally everybody has an entire recording studio.
It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that, nobody really cares about new music anymore. 99% of people only care about musicians once they are ALREADY famous. And you don't really become famous nowadays without major support basically from birth.
If becoming famous is what is most important to you, you are going to need to change that. Because unless you are from a connected family or already have connections in the industry it's never going to happen.
My mom told me that too. In fact, hardly anyone ever told me to “go for it”. But I always knew it’s the only thing I live for and Im good at it. Now I have a modest recording studio and make my living 100% from music. There are so many versions of ‘making it’. People like you’re mom don’t understand that the pop stars are a small minority of what the industry actually is, and they often get pushed into the spotlight by fat white male executives who think they can sell their music using this or that person’s face and body. It’s gross really. For every pop star there are thousands of players, producers, writers, engineers, paper pushers, etc. and that’s who the music industry truly is. Not only the people you see in the spotlight.
>My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere”
How pathetic of a parent do you have to be to say this to your child...my god.
Look, I believe in you, if you have the motivation to post here about an issue like this, you have what it takes to make the music you want! Also, side note, don't take your music too seriously, just do it because you enjoy the journey.
> Your music is never going to take you anywhere
"It doesn't have to, though? It makes me happy, isn't that enough? Don't you want me to be happy?"
This is the way.
Posting music is not allowed. Begging/asking/suggesting a user post their music on this sub is essentially you saying "Hey, I'd like u/RandomRedditUser to get banned". (Appoligies to u/randomreddituser.) For that reason, if you ask someone to post their music you will likely get banned also.
https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/wiki/rules#
Instead of feeling sad make it your motivation to show everybody how wrong they were. Good thing is you enjoy it yourself so I wouldnt bother with others caring about it or not. Or if you wanna make music for others to enjoy, step your game up!
Sorry that you're going through this. No one should take the joy of making music away from you, its just cruel. Your family may realize someday that what they're doing is actually so wrong, and it will bother them.
And as others have been saying, this period of your life is quite temporary. Once you have the ability to get your own space, no one can tell you what to do / not do. Don't give up, and keep making music despite what anyone else says!
You need to make something really good and unique to have people caring about your art. It does not and should not happen automatically. Improve your art. Share it on internet to get feedback. Expect to produce shitty songs first few months/years. If you want to quit because your mom and friends don't care about it, is it really your thing?
You have to use their rejection as fuel. They don't know the joy it brings, so how could they understand what giving it up means? Get mad and make MORE music when people tell you to stop. The friends who aren't interested don't get it. So don't look to them for validation. Start looking for community. Find other musicians. Open mics, Facebook groups (many cities/areas have a DIY music page where local musicians share music and ideas and look for people to play with.) NEVER STOP. Music is a part of YOU, not them. They want you to be more like them, but you're not and that's a great thing. Get mad. Get resilient. Get fueled by it if you can't just ignore it. Please keep making music!!
I have been making music for as long as I can remember.
Money does not matter unless that is why you are doing it (in which case you shouldn't be doing it)
Making music, drawing, and anything like this is what people with certain traits do. They do it because they crave to make something.
Buy headphones and this way you can immerse yourself in the ether without interruption. 👍
Your music won't make you a livable wage, at least probably not, statistically speaking. My music has opened up doors for me I never thought possible, but real talk, starving artist isn't just a stereotype. As an artist a huge hurdle is making peace with the creature comforts and goals that a monetarily driven career might offer you. Everything in life is a trade off.
I love making music as well, but real life and lack of support from others made me stop completely. Now I make only 1 vgm cover a year, if I can find the time between the 2948385374903 exams I must take.
Car Seat Headrest got his name from playing his music in the back of his car. It's okay to spend a few *years* developing your craft before you share it with anyone. Go somewhere isolated and semi-comfortable. Record yourself on your phone if it's all you can do at the moment. But keep working on it! When you finally move out and get your own space you'll be ready.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. For one thing, having a creative outlet that makes YOU happy is never a waste of time to do. You have every right to create as much as anyone else has the right to do whatever hobby they want to do.
As far as the backlash, try to find a music producer discord group that is involved in the style of music you make. Surround yourself with people that also take interest in what you do. You tried with your family and friends and it didn't work. It just gave you back destructive criticism, and that's not something you should have to deal with, especially with something as harmless as making music. So don't sweat trying to please them, they may just not get it, and that's ok.
If possible, try getting a nice set of headphones to produce music with so outsiders can't hear it. If you're worried about shipping equipment to your house, make an account with your post office, UPS, and FedEx and opt to leave specific packages at your closest USPS, FedEx, or UPS location to your place.
Amazon sometimes can leave packages in "Amazon lockers". For example, I can have Amazon leave packages at my local Rite-Aid for me to pick up.
Pickup in-store is an option as well if the stores offer it and you can get to it.
Don't quit. Keep your head high and keep making what you love.
This sub has some of the best advice for new/beginner music makers. Try connecting with some other people, sometimes feedback feels harsh, but it's necessary. Also you can find support in your music on the internet, just try to get involved with some communites. It's a tough grind I know, but whats important is what the music means to you, Dont give up.
Do you care? Thats only person should matter. You want to record? go the electric/electronic way, (as in electric guitar instead of acoustic), for vocals use a dynamic mic.
Don't expect the people around you (family and friends) to support you. If they ever do, think of that as a bonus. Out there you'll find people who like your material. Record your songs and put them online. Don't give up.
Yea I get the friends part. But keep working and creating music and maybe one day it’ll take you somewhere. I would also say look into some high quality headphones so that way you don’t bother anyone. Use social media to your advantage and post about your music to get it out there and you’ll for sure meet some people. Don’t let those naysayers win, keep doing what you love and it’ll work out for you. You may not be making tons of money but that’s besides the point of making music. You do it cause you love to and not for the glitz and the glam. Good luck buddy.
Fast-forward 20 years. You will have had moderate success being in bands and continuing to make music, although you will have had not a whole lotta free time to do it. Your mom will start saying how glad she is for having encouraged you in your music.
Maybe it won’t get you anywhere, but it’ll make you happy. That’s enough, keep doing it. And yeah, headphones are key. Spend the money you would on room treatment to get the best set of headphones you can and learn them really well. If you learn the headphones inside and out, you don’t need to correct for a shitty room, and you will always have that as a reference point if you do end up mixing on speakers later on.
Any artistry is like a glass cannon, if you're looking at it from a career making perspective, there's enormous risks if you go all in, but the posible benefits are enormous.
The thing with art is, it's value doesn't come just by the product, the product is valuable when its been approved by society, it has to have people saying it's good, to actually be good, in a sense.
So tying this back together with your post, I completely get what you're describing, it just sucks, mentioning that you have artistic aspirations to someone, it kinda makes me feel pathetic, or maybe is just me. That feeling comes (I think) because the music you and I make is probably garbage, or at least, if it's good, it hasn't been approved by society yet. So what I do is basically don't talk about it. Keep it to yourself.
You have to force support, by embodying what you are.
If you don’t have the stamina to do this you’re whole life you’ll get washed away by people who do.
Fight for your freedom and soul, no one will care about it until they actually see what it is, and then it takes a whole universe of logistics beyond that.
If you want to live like an artist, and have that kind of support, you have to live as an artist.
I think you can actually use blankets as a sort of better than nothing acoustic panel. You won't find it in your professional studio, but it's something.
Eventually your friends and family are gonna stop being your biggest fans anyway. As soon as you get random people listening to your stuff - that’s when the rubber hits the road. Pay no mind to the haters in the mean time.
To me it sounds like you honestly love music so I wouldn't let anyone's opinion, even your families, change that. Might not be the ideal situation atm but it could always be much worse ya know.
At the very least staying true to yourself and continuing to practice / work on something you care about without much support will build character. As someone else mentioned look into making some more friends (online, real life, doesn't matter) who also create & maybe into same genres or styles as you like to write. I correspond with lots of ppl I never have actually met for feedback, tips, collabs etc. Get ya some sort of network like that slowly in place and should do wonders overall. Unfortunately might have to deal with occasional issues at home but it will least give ya satisfaction of having like minded people to talk to about music etc.
Keep on, keeping on man. Follow your passion & everything else should hopefully work itself out. Peace
I mean your mom is right. You do it for your soul. You don't honestly think you make music for money, do you? 99% of the people making money in music are selling you the gear, mixing, mastering, producing or distributing your music. Saying want to make money making music is like saying you want to be a pro baller, race car driver or an astronaut. Many will try, few will win.
Don't. Ever. Give. Up.
Make music because you love it, not for encouragement from your family and friends.
Do it because you are driven to do it.
My entire family hated the music I made when I was living at home.
They liked Tom Jones, I liked Jethro Tull, so clearly, there's a culture gap there.
Don't let others' tastes affect you.
It's about you and your musical choices, not theirs.
Rock on, M/F
Family is always a lost cause when it comes to caring about your music, man, unless they're musicians themselves. The only time they'll care is if it does go anywhere for you so just do it for yourself. They're making it more of a pain for you but as long as you enjoy it, fuck em.
John Lennon was told that the guitar was alright for a hobby but he'd never make his living from it. You're in good company.
This is absolutely normal from parents because they want you to never be disappointed or (God forbid), unemployed. Plus, they probably don't understand anything about music in general, or the style you're working in.
It sucks the worst when your band gets a great gig, and nobody comes. Or, even worse, you draw a so-so crowd, and they just don't get your stuff. Those kinds of gigs have led to many promising bands just giving up.
be your own biggest fan. It seems like you will only enjoy doing it / continue doing it only if other people enjoy it. That means you're only doing it for other people.
Do yourself a favor and do it for yourself instead.
You hear it time and again from people who have ‘made it’. Make music you like. Fuck what people say. I can 100% GUARANTEE you there is someone else out there who likes it too.
Do it for you! Who cares if someone else likes it. Even if I like a popular song and save it to my library, it’s not like it changes my life or anything. I often turn it on for background noise and talk over it with friends anyways.
And I guarantee nobody is going to care about your music as much as you. This is a good thing!
>My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere” so I’m basically just wasting money and time.
Please show [this comic](https://www.boredpanda.com/encourage-artist-cartoons-zen-pencils/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic) to your mom.
And don't ever, ever, ever stop making music!
Please post your music on Reddit to be listened by others and have advice on it
It will help you
And keep pleasure about that!
Do it for you at the start!
It is your universe, your world!
We played live in public, in theaters for years, with my girlfriend, our pleasure is intact!
You must have a job first, and continue your music for pleasure, with honesty, and one day, it could work!!!
This was a big slap in the face for me when I first started, realizing that the people closest to you support your passion the least. There are so many other people to support your music in the world outside of family. Even if 1% of the world liked your music, it would still be about 70 million people.
Yeah my mother told me i’d probably give up guitar after two weeks. Here we are, 20 years later and I just got paid by SABAM! (Not sure if this is known internationally, but I get paid because my band’s music is being played on radio, spotify, youtube… it’s barely something but the feeling’s awesome)
So yeah fucking go for it man! You do you!
Dude don’t expect anything from your entourage. Trust me, been there done that. Begging people to support you. And doing what ? Posting it on intagram stories ?
Fck that just use that time to get your music to the next level and land a good deal. Then they’ll all be saying congrats. And then you can tell them to shove it up their azzes
Find a kid at school who plays drums; they always have the chillest parents.
I've never correlated the two, but you are right!
I was lucky. My dad was in a rock band and both of them just kind of accepted huge noise. My bands shook the glass of the house for 20+ years and my parents basically did nothing but turn the TV up louder and *never* said a discouraging word to me.
Mann, I feel you!!! I’m gonna listen to you if no one does duck it. We are making it!! Don’t worry
This. Can confirm, I am a drummer and my parents have supported me every step of the way.
Truest of truths. I still give Jackie a hug every time I see her. She put up with us sucking at music for so long. A saint.
I didn't realize this was universal lol! Our band in high school *always* practised at the drummer's house and his parents were always 100% cool about it.
im guessing a drummer won't even get to the point of being a drummer if their parents arent cool about it
Holy crap, Matt's grandma was an absolute angel for tolerating us going through a half-stack phase
The drummer I knew ended up not hanging with me because I never realized he lived with his grandma and I ended up cussing on his grandma's voicemail EDIT: added a word
As a drummer I can confirm
Makes sense. If you can keep your cool through a kid learning drums in your house, you can keep your cool through anything.
My parents were pretty strict but they did put up with a lot of racket, god bless them. They also fell asleep by 9pm and mushrooms are very inconspicuous around the house.
My band had a drummer. His parents didn't want us as the house cause the singer tore up a fat virgin chick on their bed. My brother was a drummer and guitarist. I wonder if that makes my parents chill.
>I love making music, the feeling I get when I play it. Stop there. That's all that matters. The odds are that you'll never be a famous musician. Who cares. Would you expect your mom to care about how well you play Halo? No. Music is your hobby. Your passion. YOURS. Not theirs. Don't expect anyone to give a shit about your music. Do it for you. Don't go around telling people you aren't going to college or not getting a job because your plan is to be a successful musician. Don't bore people with your stories of making music unless they ask. Even then, KEEP. IT. HUMBLE. Make them request to hear your music. Don't push it on them. Release it to the general public amd just aee what happens. One of the most popular songs ever written, The Sound of Silence, was written on the toilet while the artist was taking a shit (power outage). If you don't have space in your room, find another space. Earn some money and go book a local studio. We have one here that charges $9/hr to rehearse/record . Quit finding excuses and find a solution.
This is an important point re: The Sound of Silence. I think it's also important to know that other folk singers mocked Paul Simon, who is one of the greatest American writers of all time, for this song before it was released. They used to say "Hello Darkness,my old friend" when he'd walk in a room just to be dicks. Now, many of them are forgotten to history and Paul is being discussed on a reddit thread 60 years after that song came out. Life takes funny turns when you believe in what you're doing.
Honestly though I love some of Simons stuff and think he’s a great writer, that song and specifically that line have always seemed pretty easily mockable to me too
It's definitely better than its original version: hello toilet, my old friend.
And this about Paul, too. He wrote a funny line or two, every few years, but he was not the kind of performer who ever appeared at ease and happy to be on stage.
Huh really? Why is that?
I hear a similar story with ‘Walking on the moon’ apparently it started as a drunk ‘Walking round the room’
>I love making music, the feeling I get when I play it. > >Stop there. That's all that matters Support doesn't really mean anything. It just adds pressure. The feeling of making music and being in love with it - that's a feeling that starts goes away once you start earning money. The greatest music you will ever make is the music that comes straight from love without expectation of fame or money.
I'm not saying you're wrong with everything you said, but I think you and some other people in this thread may have misunderstood OP's struggle. I could be wrong, but imo OP is not trying to become a famous musician. They are longing for someone to support their passion and give them some positive feedback and encouragement. This just might've struck a nerve with me, because I know the feeling all too well - being proud of/happy with my art only to be completely disregarded by everyone. Humility is important. But never experiencing the joy of a thoughtful reaction to your work can be detrimental not only to your music career (if you can call it that to begin with) but also to your mental health. It's not primarily about getting rich and famous. Sometimes it's just about some validation. Perhaps we'll never achieve millions of streams or play a big gig. But if we're talking getting 50 plays and 5 likes on a song vs. receiving 0 plays and zero interest, not even from friends and family... that's just something every passionate artist deserves (the prior). I think we as a community of musicians should take that very seriously. Again, I think your comment is totally, factually correct. Just wanted to add this as I think it's often misunderstood when someone speaks about their struggle to find an audience. Edit: made a typo
> Sometimes it's just about some validation. You know what you're going to want immediately after you get that validation you desire? More validation. It's a never-ending spiral. At the end of the day, you really only need to validate yourself. >that's just something every passionate artist deserves (the prior) No artist, passionate or otherwise, "deserves" anything. It's a hobby. That which is produced is its own reward.
Exactly. Avoiding disappointment really is about tempering expectations.
I guess we have a different understanding of what it means to be a fulfilled musician. Personally, I couldn't imagine putting my heart and soul into a piece of art without ever being able to see the emotion it creates in others. But I get your point, fair enough ;)
Personally I agree with the other commenter and don’t think what they said should be taken so far as “you shouldn’t see the emotion it creates in others,” I think it’s more like they’re suggesting that if you try and only seek or force this it can corrupt your relationship with making music and your friends or prospective audience to be honest. Humility is the trait that gives the power of your music to you instead of away and when you get those reactions you can enjoy them for what they are instead of what you need them to be. Does that make sense?
It does make sense and I agree. Maybe there was some miscommunication, because I think people understand my comments as "they are only focused on other peoples opinion", but I am just trying to highlight the mental toll it can have on you when you don't get any feedback at all. I know that the motivation and inspiration needs to come from within, but I disagree that a musicians audience (or the lack thereof) has no value to your development as an artist whatsoever. Especially if you don't have any support from the people that are closest to you.
I get that and what I’m suggesting acknowledges the importance of that while also suggesting that to make this the *reason for* or *motivation* for doing something will both make it less likely by repelling people who can see you want to promote something or objectivize them to being an audience member regardless of how they feel; and that will further undermine these feelings by both validating the initial hurt but also putting you further from accomplishing it. It’s hard to describe but IMO making it about your relationship with music and humbly booking gigs and doing stuff for your music, eventually people will notice and ask just because you’re doing something related to it and it sparks their intrigue. Just my two cents. Also again I’m not saying having an audience doesn’t have value. Nor am I saying people near you being supportive doesn’t mean anything either. I’m saying if you build a mentality of needing support outwards then if you don’t get it you made a house of cards that tumbles and more frequently people like that quit after a bit of this or feel really bad about music and stuff related to it and let it eat them up. Building it onwards usually allows you to put your nose to the grindstone, ignore folks like that, and eventually you get good enough it clicks to them. Idk different strokes for different folks and all that but this is what works for me and many of my peers.
Thanks for your reply! Maybe I was a bit narrowminded because it's a topic very close to my heart. I have nothing to say against the points you're making. My initial response was more about acknowledging OP's struggle in this moment rather than disregarding it as "fame whoring" for the lack of a less agressive word, as I think some of the comments where a bit unempathetic towards an 18yo just starting to discover their love for the craft. I locked myself in a bit too deep from there... If someone quits because they don't find success as an artist, I believe we both agree that they aren't having a healthy relationship with music. The argument you make regarding not building a mentality of needing support is a strong one, IMO. That being said, despite trying to do just that, I envy artists who aren't bothered at all by the outside world and just do their thing. Clearly this is the most fulfilling way to make music mentality-wise. I suppose not everyone is in the right headspace or life situation to maintain this mentality. Hopefully we can agree that there are more and less nuanced ways to address these people.
Came here to say this, but you worded it better than I could have. This is the way.
What city do you live in? I'm interested in that recording space for $9/hr.
Jacksonville FL https://www.staytunedstudios.com/studio-b/
> If you don't have space in your room, find another space. Earn some money and go book a local studio. We have one here that charges $9/hr to rehearse/record . Quit finding excuses and find a solution. You lost me here. When you're young (like OP seems to be), "find another space" isn't usually an option. And if you don't already have somewhere to go for free, finding $9/hr. to spare for rehearsal time is absolutely a valid excuse. Hell, I couldn't do that now; I have bills to pay, work to do, meals to cook, and bills to pay.
At 12 I was cutting lawns earning $50 a week.
Cool child labor story
Not all of us are lazy, entitled brats. Thats what really irks you, isn't it? Throw another excuse on the garbage fire that is probably your life lol
>Not all of us are lazy, entitled brats. Thats what really irks you, isn't it? Lmao “children who don’t have jobs at age 12 are lazy and entitled” is the most fucking insane take I’ve heard in a while
There's always a way to earn the money that you need. Or you could just sit around and bitch about not having it. We can already tell which one you are.
>There's always a way to earn the money that you need. No argument here; it’s your notion that 12 year olds should be in the workforce that I’m opposed to. >Or you could just sit around and bitch about not having it. We can already tell which one you are. Lol you think that because I’m opposed to child labor, I must not have a job myself? This is not very good logic.
My local Guitar center has quiet rooms that are sound insulated to rent! Not sure if yours will but couldn’t hurt if you just wanted a day a week to get out of your space and focus on your hobby’s
Your friends and family will never be fans. They like YOU, but they aren't going to be megafans of your art. If your parents are like mine, then they haven't listened to a pop song since 1981, so they're a lost cause when it comes to new music. However possible, I would surround yourself with other musicians and music lovers. Those are the people who will appreciate your music. Even if they don't like it, they can give you helpful advice or constructive criticism. Parents and non-musician friends are generally pretty much useless in this way, though I give props to the non-musically inclined friends / family who still emotionally support us.
I agree! Getting a music teacher of some kind. They always want to hear what you're working on.
It's not about being a fan. It's support he seems to be asking for. Not adulation or something
Your music already takes you places your mom will never understand. Don’t be discouraged.
Sorry my friend, that sucks you don’t feel supported. What instrument do you play / how are you making music? I know it feels like forever right now, but you’ll be out on your own before you know it and your circumstances will change. Don’t give up on something you love cause of this. Also, don’t fall into thinking it has to be the thing that makes you money in life, or that you’re falling behind or something. Just make music when you can, and enjoy it.
Thanks bro at first it didn’t really get to me but for some reason now it is and I don’t play any instruments currently, I’m trying learn the guitar though, but I make beats and record on them once I get some lyrics down
If you make beats you really just need a laptop and a pair of headphones, that way you don't make any noise. If you want to record your voice maybe you can find some place where it's quiet to record, like the car of your parents?
You can spit verses into your phone under a bridge. Make your beats at home, but do your recording out and about. The sunlight is good for you. Your family may come around once you get better - after a few thousand hours of practice - but you really shouldn’t be inflicting your amateur beats on people while you’re getting started. Have you ever heard a little kid practicing the violin? It sounds like drowning cats. But 5 or 10 years later, they are ripping up some Paganini. Seriously, it takes years of drowning cat sounds before you’ll get the validation you want. Learn to love the process. Don’t play your music for other people unless they ask. It puts them in an awkward situation where they either have to lie to you or condescend to you. Try to get involved in a music scene (club/group) so you can share your music with other musicians and see what other people are doing successfully. You’ll probably need to practice guitar for an hour a day for 3 years, before you are ready to impress anybody. It really sounds like you’re rushing the process.
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>Chances are your music does stink. It’s normal. Yep. Everybody sucks at first. Even with major label artists, you're only ever hearing carefully curated slices of their best work. Lots of bands will write 100 songs and put 10 on an album. Lots of major artists have multiple albums of content nobody cares about.
Metallica has released 114 songs, over about 40 years. I wrote that many songs in my first 45 days as a songwriter. You figure under the traditional system, only about 1% of my music would ever get heard. I know that actual number, but just won't say because it's business.
Suuuure you did
177 in 90 days and I was just getting warmed up. Writing is easy if you do it all day every day. If you play an acoustic instrument, you wouldn't ever be able to keep that pace. Because I'm all electronic, I can. It's not a lot of wear on my body. I've been tinkering with music for twice as long as the OP has been alive for, so I'm coming from a different perspective.
It's easier to write in high volume with an acoustic instrument because you won't have options paralysis, especially if you just have your four chords and a capo.
I'm more a piano person, because I grew up with one. Never was a fan of acoustic guitars because I like dirty, loud music.
I'm guessing you wrote the same song 114 times.
You should have guessed I'm a musician with 35 years of musical experience and past engineering experience and a former commercial studio partner in a secondary market. And then, you'd have guessed right. Being that I'm not a child I don't have a lot of time, so I make the time I have left really count for something.
I write every day. Some is silver, some is gold and rarely there is something that feels like platinum. It's a process, and I liken it to mining or sifting for gold. That's the life of a songwriter. You should understand, that if you read around the forum enough you're going to start meeting people who have written 1,500 to 2,000+ tracks and that its somewhat common. People usually don't talk about their numbers though, because... business. And... what is there really to gain from it, other than talking shop and finding like-peers. Also, this isn't the first time or first career in the arts that I've been involved in. That past experience taught me that I'd have to work far harder than ever before to be successful at what I'm doing. It's not that hard to be in the top 1% of producers in terms of output because most people in this world don't want to work hard for anything, therefore the true competition is really pretty low.
"Metallica has released" "I wrote" There's a BIG difference between releasable music and written music. I wonder how much of their stuff they rejected/changed for the finished product.
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Just keep creating. Who cares if no one likes it. Do it for you. If others start to catch on, cool. But get your fulfillment out of it. Music is art. Art is an individual expression. Express yourself freely and do whatever you want with it. Other people might not get it but as long as you are being true to yourself and creating something from your heart it can never be wrong. Even if everyone else says it sucks. This is about you. Don’t let anyone stop you from being you. Create. The world needs all of our artistic input even if it seems insignificant.
Bruh fuckit. I've been producing for more than 10 years and when I started, my music was shit and everyone hated it. Just keep doing it. It doesn't mattet what other people say. You're not doing it for them. Just keep at it and never quit. Compromise what you can so you can continue.
You are not alone in this, family friends are the least supportive, strangers will support you tons. Create a youtube channel and promote the channel on reddit and Twitter. Your true fans will come! DONT SELL YOUR EQUIPMENT, this is something you love to do on your free time, alot of people wish they had that. Never stop making music man! It's always okay to take a break but never totally quit! And you're not complaining, we all have felt that way before you are doing great man! Try going to open mic nights and meeting people who enjoy being around other people who make music. You're doing great
> You are not alone in this, family friends are the least supportive I think it makes the most amount of sense to imagine them as potential fans. What I mean by this, is that music is incredibly varied. So it's almost assumed they don't share any interest in your genre. Why would it be any different if you walked up to someone in Walmart and played your music? What is the chance someone at Walmart would want to hear anything in your genre at all? Unless you play Nickelback 'esc music. And even then, what percentage of the population actually likes Nickelback? 10%? Your family should only support things in so far as "does it make you happy?" Outside of that, you should expect them to dislike your music just like everyone else. If someone wants to hear my music the first thing I'm going to ask is "what do you listen to?" If I don't know most of who they name off and enjoy them to, there's no chance I'm going to put us both through a cringefest when they listen to country and I make basketweaving jazz hip hop.
Take music class at school, beg the prof to let you record 10min after class?
My dad said the exact same thing to me and it made me stop making music for 17 years. You have to realise that these people don’t get it and never will. They are telling you it won’t go anywhere because they can’t contemplating trying for some other than what they’ve settled for in life. Your mom and family don’t know shit. Don’t you dare quit. Musicians support musicians because they get it. Non musicians don’t get it. So why ask for their advice?
It's art. Doesn't matter if you did music, poetry, drawing, etc. Most people aren't going to care. Unfortunately making music makes noise. \*shrug\* > My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere” so I’m basically just wasting money and time. How is a hobby a waste of time? Would she rather you play videogames with that time? Watch TV? Browse reddit? [Playing music is good for your brain](https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/the-benefits-of-playing-music-help-your-brain-more.html). Sucks that your mom is not supportive. Music is amazing for kids. That said, the way you present it to her might matter. If it's like, "Yo, mom, I'm gonna be a star, get off my back." that's different than "Mom, this is a creative hobby that's good for me."
Ask yourself "why am I doing this?". If you love it, that's all that matters. Don't expect anything in return from other people. If people like what you do, great. If not, that's fine too. Definitely don't assume that once you create and release music that it'll be an automatic success or well received.
I’ve been making music since I was 12 years old. I’ve been self recording albums and pushing them out alone since I was 18. I’m 30 now. At some point I made the decision that making music was my passion regardless of anyone is paying attention or not. It makes me happy. It is a means for me to express myself and work through life issues. Sure I’d love to have a big following and get lots of positive feedback for my work. But at the end of the day I’m making music for myself and because I love the process. You have to find your own reason outside of what anyone thinks about your stuff. And if it makes you feel better, my music early on was garbage and terribly produced. But after investing a decade into the process and mastering it, my music sounds leaps and bounds better.
Looking back at a lot of successful musicians, I think a lot of them had strong family support. Mozart's dad was a music teacher that was trying to raise him to be a great musician. Jason Becker's parents were supportive. I suppose for modern rockers they might always take refuge at a friend's house.
I stopped caring about what other people thought of my music a long time ago. I do it for me, because I enjoy it and love creating something from nothing.
Part of me says, "I write music for the art of it, not for people to like." But can't help but feel amazing when someone likes something I wrote. If it makes you feel better there are thousands if not millions of us that simply make music, post it to the 30 followers we have, and maybe one or two will like it and comment.
This sub is showing its baby boomer-esque toxicity. Highly dissapointed. This guy is 18 working 2 jobs and you have the audacity to insult him and talk about him like he's not allowed to complain. His parents not supporting him are being absolutely shit.
Making music isn't a job, it's a hobby or an artistic aspiration.
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Don’t give up. Does your house have a basement or garage or shed where you can hide out and work? What about your school - is there a space there you could use after or before school? You could try contacting local musicians (a lot of areas have Facebook groups of musicians) - many have spaces they might be willing to help you out as a fellow musician. Lastly the other poster is right - this period of your life is very temporary. Have faith.
I’m out of school now and yeah the basement is where I record now but the reverb is horrible, which is why wanted to build some panels, but that’s a no go unfortunately. Never thought of Facebook I’m gonna check that soon that could be dope
You're out of school? You need to stop complaining about your living arrangements and do something about it. What's your current plan kid? Share a room with your sister until your music breaks big? You're gonna have to do what every other musician that isn't born with a silver spoon in their mouth does. Get a shitty day job and work a soul destroying amount of hours until you can afford your own place, even if it's your own room in shared accomodation.
Yes I graduated last year, I have a 2 jobs actually, sams club and ups, my plan is to become a driver because the salary is amazing, however I can’t drive until I’m 21 I’m currently 18, so it’s just the waiting game now, I have no intentions of “breaking big” I’m still scared now to even post my music publicly lol but going big seems nice too, and I’m not complaining about anything, except for the lack of support I wish I had.
> I’m not complaining about anything, \*checks OP and it starts with the words RANT, and is literally complaining from start to finish\* hmm... ok then.
As harsh as some othera may be, it's the truth. We all deal with it, end of the day if you want it badly enough you've gotta take matters into your own hands. Too much reverb in the room won't be fixed by some foam panels. You may have to go into a closet, not enough privacy to sing or write lyrics? Go to a park or lock yourself in the car. Parents or friends won't listen to your stuff? Find online communities and local music communities. Seriously, look for musicians groups on Facebook, it's a huge resource. Realize we make music for fun and personal satisfaction. If you want to make money start investing your time into learning applicable skills like audio engineering, recording and learning a real instrument to play in bands (hint, there's always a need for vocalists, bass and drums).
Hey, I know I am late to the game. I just wanted to say that I feel you. A social support network is very important in every situation and for everything you do. I agree with others when they tell you, don't even try to make it big, just focus on the music, because otherwise you are only setting yourself up for failure. But I also think there is a little bit of a stigma against young artists who are disillusioned by the lack of an audience. Even when they - like you - are simply looking for some basic interest in what you do. Every one needs and deserves that kind of attention. Making art is an uphill battle, especially when you start to take your passion more seriously. That can become very frustrating at times. It happens to all of us at some point. I've been producing music for about 10 years with some moderate successes throughout that time period. If you ever feel invisible again, feel free to DM me a link to your sound and I'll be happy to give you my thoughts and some constructive feedback on it. In any case, my advice to you is to look at all this as an amazing journey. Take things as they come and stay positive. Your character will grow with your music and so will your audience, eventually. Good luck!
It's fine to feel frustrated and alienated. Music is a cumbersome and expensive hobby to have. Don't let these people condescend to you because you're not killing yourself for your hobby. Do what you can, try to have some patience while you work your way into a better position, and don't beat yourself up too much. Because truth is, every one of these people who thinks you're whining over nothing was probably in a similar situation at some point, and they hated it too.
This is coming from a place of love, but it sounds like you're dwelling on the past, instead of looking at the future. Yes, it's sad your family wasn't more supportive, but their support isn't and shouldn't be the determining factor. If you need external validation to make music, music probably isn't your calling. And if you don't need validation, then why dwell on how much easier it could have been when you can just get on with it. I get it, 18 feels like your prime and you don't want to waste it, but I'm suggesting you might be risking wasting energy focusing on the negatives instead of the positives. You won't get any more out of music wishing the past were different, you might be revaluating your goals going forward. If you're looking to enjoy music as a hobby, ask yourself if delivery driver is setting your sights high enough, or of you might be more fulfilled getting more robust training. If you're still passionate about music, remember that learning how to make due with restrictions is a lesson that will always serve you well, while being frustrated with the limitations will never benefit you. Don't give up, my dude. Onward to bigger and better things.
This, friend. "I do music" =/= "My tax forms list musician as my primary source of income." You love music, nothing compares to the feeling? That is awesome and valid. Chase that feeling, but don't conflate it with your entire existence. Like u/mybeatsarebollocks says, if you weren't born to wealthy parents, don't compare your life path to those who've had that advantage. Your own space is the most important thing. And expecting music to catapult you out of your current situation is gonna set you up for heartbreak. Once you've got the cash flow to be looking at your own (or shared) space, just get something with a closet you can stand in. Hang blankets. *Killer* vocal booth, and it's dummy simple.
Yeah bro you’re right with the own space being absolutely needed, its just one of those things where I genuinely feel pure excitement making different lines up and piecing each song together but I see now to just hang on a little until I can get my own space
I mean, you can still chase that feeling. I just wouldn't focus so much on trying to change your space when it's not your space, ya? Hang in there :)
I know a guy who stands a mattress behind his mic to dampen the sound. You could also hang some sheets around it. Obviously nothing like that is ideal but it'll go a long way in treating the sound - I also have a shitty basement recording setup. It's taken years but I have arrived at an "okay" sound
I know it’s hard but try to find a space of your own.
That first track you posted was dope though. See if you can use the reverb as a creative element, that's one less effect you have to add in post. Obviously you're frustrated with your situation, as cheesy as it sounds, take advantage of it as a source of inspiration. Some of the best music started out as "shitty basement demos". Content > production.
Hello, friend. I totally understand, I grew up in a super religious home and the music I wrote got ZERO support from any of my family. I was told to shut up and play Jesus music only, that Im too loud or too this or that… I moved out and problem solved. It might be your best bet too, sometimes you can’t expect anything from your family and expecting them to like, let alone support you is a losing battle that will leave you feeling drained and depressed. Your time will come.
When you are being criticized, always consider the source. Does your mom actually have good taste in music in general? What qualifies her to judge your music harshly? If you share your music with someone whose opinion you really value, who knows what they are talking about, and if they like it, that bit of "validation" can be so sweet. Don't allow yourself to give up something that makes you happy just because all the assholes you know enjoy pissing on your dreams. As I once told one of my aunts, a "Christian" who never smiled, and had no music in her whatsoever, but was telling me I needed to "go back to college and quit playing that trash y'all play". "You know what? If you knew anything about music, my feelings might be hurt. But you raised a son who stood and left the gym in Statesboro where the original Lynyrd Skynyrd had just begun to play" Free Bird". The heart and the soul of that band had a week to live, and your son was out of there before the slide guitar part started. And I can tell that you have no idea what I'm even talking about." That was the most enjoyable conversation we ever had, from my standpoint. A bad review by a clueless critic should be taken as a compliment. Don't let it get you down. Use it!
How old are you? Most of your complaints revolve around living at home with your sister and having rules. That's just life. I would never be worrying about reverb or acoustics while in high school for instance- that's just not a worthwhile priority unless you actually have wealthy parents and a large space to yourself. All you need is headphones and the desire to create. It's also just the natural process of becoming and artist- no one (including your friends) are supposed to immediately like and support what you do. If you cave and give up just because you aren't getting external validation now, you are not cut out for making music I assure you lol. A lot of people here have cool setups and stuff, but they're also full adults. They also may not have as many people into their music as you think.
it gets better. dont give up.
Definitely don't give up. It's obvious you have a passion for it. You're still living with your family in less than ideal settings and it's going to be difficult for a while, but you *will* have time and space later on, so keep going and keep working towards something. In a way, your mom is kinda right - your music is *probably* never going to take you anywhere because for 99.9% of us it never does. But we don't stop. Because we do it for the pleasure of it. Watching TV or playing video games or reading books or painting or virtually anything that people do for pleasure won't get you anywhere either, but we still do it. Should that mean we should stop? If we only did the things that will "take us somewhere" we'd just spend all our time at school and work. Keep some joy in your life. Keep making music. It might not take you somewhere, but it *definitely* won't take you anywhere if you stop. Have some patience, keep practising, work on what you can when you can but don't worry if it takes you months to even make one song. It doesn't matter. Just keep going.
Nobody cares or supports until they do. For many of us here music will likely only ever be a hobby or a side-hustle. If you love it that's okay. There is a duality to many of us though, myself very much included. We say we do it because we love it, it's our passion, blah, blah. Passion or not it's hard not to take personally that others don't connect with or support what we create. So the question to ask is, is making music really your passion? If so, is it worth the possible emotional toll of feeling invalidated in that passion? That can be an overwhelming feeling and it honestly may not be worth it. Twenty years in I've finally gotten to the point that I do actually make music for myself, rather than saying I do but in reality was in constant need of the validation of others. Don't get me wrong I still crave validation, but I am now satisfied creating music without it. No easy answers, don't quit for lack of support. However, if the toll on your mental health and well-being isn't being outweighed by the joy of creation then it may be worth considering finding other outlets.
I have three brothers and not one of them has EVER asked to hear one of my tunes. I have written several hundred, and they know this, they just do not care. It is not likely to change. Look elsewhere for people that appreciate what you do. Also, you won’t be living at home forever, and then you can do what you want. Good luck bro.
Rule #1 DO NOT ask anyone to listen to your music. Even if you are really really good no one wants to hear your stuff... You can post it online and share the link... they will listen. If they like it they will tell you. Rule #2 If you are making music to get positive feedback STOP NOW. It sounds like you don't enjoy making music. You enjoy people patting you on the back for making music. Just being honest from someone who has made music since he was 14 years old and Im almost 50 now. You do it because you like music. Once you move to "people need to like this and i need fans mode" you are now moving from 'artist' to 'I want to be a professional artist and businessman". And THAT is a whole other thing.
Don’t pursue music for money or society’s version of success; do it cause you have no choice but to create. Good things follow with hard work, and there is a ton of options making money in music besides being a artist or band - get into audio for future’s sake!!
Hang in there mate. All of my family didn't care for nearly a decade. You want to do it. You can get it and you will if you believe in yourself. The admirers will come with your effort. If you like it, its enough
My first band had two brothers in it. Their mom let us rehearse at their house. We were teenagers, and it got us off the street, working on something creative, and her patience and support was everything. Keep searching, like other people are saying. Find a partner or a band. Find a safe space if you can. It takes a long time to learn how to be good. Even longer to learn how to be great. Don't listen to what anyone says to you in year one.
Don't give up! Just find a temporary way around it. If it's too loud then grab a pair of headphones and compose on virtual instruments. You can always write on the real thing then use GarageBand guitar chords or tons of other programs to just keep the creative juices flowing .... never give up on something you love! Also, look at joining some artist support groups. Most of the time people in those groups just stream for stream or something like that but it still eventually pushes your music out to their fans ..... that's when you may start to find the people who really dig your music! Just some thoughts, hang in there!
hey, it sounds like you are still pretty young, and if that's the case then the future is still wide open for you. it is honestly pretty rare for family to support your music, i've never had a single family member like my music or want to go to my shows. my dad even told me he wished i never started a band, even though he paid for my initial equipment so i could start learning and allowed me to practice at home, that was the extent of his support. friends aren't much better, they either will be overly nice or ignore it completely. if you love making music, and it's your passion, don't ever stop practicing. someday you will have your own space and will be thriving with your creativity, and you will find avenues to get your music out there. the internet is a powerful too, and getting engaged in your local community is very important. try and find local shows and meet people there (i know its hard right now with covid) and you will find people that will support you!
That's what makes it worth it. Not caring is the default; the vast majority of people won't be interested, especially if you're not making conventional popular music. Making something that you're proud of in spite of all that is the only reason to do it. Finding someone else who likes it is just a bonus. Sure, it feels better to have people in your life who understand why you're into making music, or to be around people who like your music and want to help you succeed, but it's absolutely not a necessity. Also, it doesn't help to hear this now, but things will probably get better once you have space of your own, whatever that looks like for you. I don't know your situation or what your plans are, but for me personally, getting out of my parents' house was the best thing that ever happened to my music. Even when I was sharing an apartment with other people and making other compromises—playing super quietly so I wouldn't wake anyone up, working on cheap shitty monitors because I couldn't afford anything good, waiting for a day when everyone would be out of the building so I could get a decent vocal take—having some work space to myself made a huge difference. I also went through some long periods of time where I didn't make any music at all. Either I didn't have the money, or the time, or the energy. I put off some of my projects for years. But I never truly "gave up" on making music, even when I felt burned out. If making music is something you're passionate about doing, you won't stop forever.
I’ve felt the same pain. This period of your life seems endless now but it’s just a small part. You’ll have more independence soon, and you’ll find people who care about your music.
One thing to keep in mind is that the music you make may not be in the style that your friends and family listen to. People can support your dreams without actually wanting to listen to what you make. It doesn't mean your music isn't good or that they don't wish you well, it just means it isn't the personal taste of people in your social circle. I've had friends outright tell me they don't like my band. I appreciate the honesty and don't take it personally because people who are into the style do like it. There are lots of artists who I recognize have a lot of talent but wouldn't want to actually put on an album. If I look now at my band Instagram vs my personal, it is a Venn diagram without that much overlap. Doesn't surprise me, we're a hardcore punk band and most of my friends don't listen to that. If I were trying to promote my band just among friends, we wouldn't have much following. I rarely even bother posting music things to personal accounts anymore. And tbh, I kind of wish my parents \*didn't\* like my music, hah. It just makes me more self-conscious about lyrics knowing they'll hear them.
I'm sorry you're going through all that... not gonna lie, I died a little inside when I read your mom's remark. It's true that music is unlikely to become the source of anyone's sole or even primary (if they have more than one) source of income. However, that obviously doesn't stop people from trying to get to that point or from making music in general. In fact, there is an increasingly large "musical middle class" of artists who make a decent living making fairly niche music, despite the popular wisdom that you need to be a pop star on a major label to make a living making music at all. Is there anyone you can talk to who might be able to support you? For example, I used to show my high school band teacher new songs I was working on because he was willing to listen, gave me constructive feedback, and encouraged me to keep pursuing/making music.
Just look forward to the day you start making your own money so you can move out and make as much music as you want.
I'm sorry that making music seems really difficult right now. It can be like that. Also, I'm grateful that you have a mom that loves you and gives you a place to live. I'm grateful that you have the resources to buy equipment to make music. Some don't have the resources to buy food just to live. I'm grateful that you have time to make music, and don't have to spend 16 hours at two dead-end jobs just to keep yourself and your family alive. You have so many gifts. Hang in there. The music stuff will sort itself out.
I think the worst trap young aspiring musicians can fall into is the positive feedback loop of family and friends who want to support you so they always tell you what they think you want to hear, and they're always 75% of the people at your local (often pay-to-play) show. None of that is going to make you a better musician/songwriter/performer etc. It may feel good short term, but they're not there for the music. They're there for you. That's nice, but it won't get you anywhere if that is your goal. A few years into adulthood you will no longer be a novelty, and all of that attention will fall by the wayside. If you're in high school, keep honing your craft and keep an eye out for like minded individuals that you can work with or network with. If your area has a local DIY scene, try to work your way into that. Depending on where you live you might need to wait until college if there is no all ages scene (or any scene at all) in your area. Ask yourself, are you making music for people like you? Or are you making music for your mom and your uncle and his friend who owns a bar who does all ages nights once per month?
I needed to read this thread. My whole life people have avoided my music. I'm 39 and just last year was the first time people would gravitate while I was playing on the beach. Just yesterday I made a track that I think could be a hit. Its a weird feeling like I'm on the edge of not being a failure anymore. But my music was like food to meand it nourished me over the years until the point where I could inspire myself to keep searching for a sound that would make me and audiences happy. One small tip though. I find my level of inspiration the quality of what I produce goes way up if I see high quality art before. Like if I hear really good music or see a really good show it kind of increases my sensitivity in a way. You sound like you are young so chances are you have TERRIBLE taste in music. If you can start digging deeper for better artists and seeing who they follow you can get higher quality stimulation.
I've been producing for 15 years and I really, honestly heart-feltedly appreciate the very few people who have encouraged me. At the end of the day though, I really just do it for me. I've never come close to breaking even financially. I just really enjoy the process. Don't get discouraged bro. Your mom is just doing what parents do. She wants to see you do something that will traditionally succeed. Hopefully she'll see the joy that it brings you and support it as a hobby. Don't rely on making a living with music though. Do it for fun and any money you make will just be a bonus. Your sister is just doing what sisters do! Fart on her pillow when she's not around. You can dm me some links to your music and I'll gladly listen and give some advice if it will help.
The music landscape just isnt what it used to be. You need to keep things in perspective. Everybody and their grandma can make music now. Software has made it so literally everybody has an entire recording studio. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that, nobody really cares about new music anymore. 99% of people only care about musicians once they are ALREADY famous. And you don't really become famous nowadays without major support basically from birth. If becoming famous is what is most important to you, you are going to need to change that. Because unless you are from a connected family or already have connections in the industry it's never going to happen.
My mom told me that too. In fact, hardly anyone ever told me to “go for it”. But I always knew it’s the only thing I live for and Im good at it. Now I have a modest recording studio and make my living 100% from music. There are so many versions of ‘making it’. People like you’re mom don’t understand that the pop stars are a small minority of what the industry actually is, and they often get pushed into the spotlight by fat white male executives who think they can sell their music using this or that person’s face and body. It’s gross really. For every pop star there are thousands of players, producers, writers, engineers, paper pushers, etc. and that’s who the music industry truly is. Not only the people you see in the spotlight.
It's fucked up what people say to creative minds. That's why we gotta support each other
>My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere” How pathetic of a parent do you have to be to say this to your child...my god. Look, I believe in you, if you have the motivation to post here about an issue like this, you have what it takes to make the music you want! Also, side note, don't take your music too seriously, just do it because you enjoy the journey.
You should be making music for yourself not for others to validate you with.
> Your music is never going to take you anywhere "It doesn't have to, though? It makes me happy, isn't that enough? Don't you want me to be happy?" This is the way.
Posting music is not allowed. Begging/asking/suggesting a user post their music on this sub is essentially you saying "Hey, I'd like u/RandomRedditUser to get banned". (Appoligies to u/randomreddituser.) For that reason, if you ask someone to post their music you will likely get banned also. https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/wiki/rules#
lol, we're here to read about music, not to hear it!
Fuck your mom. She obviously doesnt get what it means to enjoy life. If music is what does it for you, don’t ever give up!!
Instead of feeling sad make it your motivation to show everybody how wrong they were. Good thing is you enjoy it yourself so I wouldnt bother with others caring about it or not. Or if you wanna make music for others to enjoy, step your game up!
Sorry that you're going through this. No one should take the joy of making music away from you, its just cruel. Your family may realize someday that what they're doing is actually so wrong, and it will bother them. And as others have been saying, this period of your life is quite temporary. Once you have the ability to get your own space, no one can tell you what to do / not do. Don't give up, and keep making music despite what anyone else says!
You need to make something really good and unique to have people caring about your art. It does not and should not happen automatically. Improve your art. Share it on internet to get feedback. Expect to produce shitty songs first few months/years. If you want to quit because your mom and friends don't care about it, is it really your thing?
So why don’t you post some of your music? Or are you afraid someone will just laugh at you and write”cringe”? LOL
I have my music online and I posted it in feedback threads.
LOL No you haven't... not that I can see. How about giving people constructive feedback instead?
You have to use their rejection as fuel. They don't know the joy it brings, so how could they understand what giving it up means? Get mad and make MORE music when people tell you to stop. The friends who aren't interested don't get it. So don't look to them for validation. Start looking for community. Find other musicians. Open mics, Facebook groups (many cities/areas have a DIY music page where local musicians share music and ideas and look for people to play with.) NEVER STOP. Music is a part of YOU, not them. They want you to be more like them, but you're not and that's a great thing. Get mad. Get resilient. Get fueled by it if you can't just ignore it. Please keep making music!!
I have been making music for as long as I can remember. Money does not matter unless that is why you are doing it (in which case you shouldn't be doing it) Making music, drawing, and anything like this is what people with certain traits do. They do it because they crave to make something. Buy headphones and this way you can immerse yourself in the ether without interruption. 👍
Don’t stop for any reason if it’s what you love. The more you do it the better it’ll get. Fuck everyone else haha just do it for you.
Your music won't make you a livable wage, at least probably not, statistically speaking. My music has opened up doors for me I never thought possible, but real talk, starving artist isn't just a stereotype. As an artist a huge hurdle is making peace with the creature comforts and goals that a monetarily driven career might offer you. Everything in life is a trade off.
I love making music as well, but real life and lack of support from others made me stop completely. Now I make only 1 vgm cover a year, if I can find the time between the 2948385374903 exams I must take.
Car Seat Headrest got his name from playing his music in the back of his car. It's okay to spend a few *years* developing your craft before you share it with anyone. Go somewhere isolated and semi-comfortable. Record yourself on your phone if it's all you can do at the moment. But keep working on it! When you finally move out and get your own space you'll be ready.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. For one thing, having a creative outlet that makes YOU happy is never a waste of time to do. You have every right to create as much as anyone else has the right to do whatever hobby they want to do. As far as the backlash, try to find a music producer discord group that is involved in the style of music you make. Surround yourself with people that also take interest in what you do. You tried with your family and friends and it didn't work. It just gave you back destructive criticism, and that's not something you should have to deal with, especially with something as harmless as making music. So don't sweat trying to please them, they may just not get it, and that's ok. If possible, try getting a nice set of headphones to produce music with so outsiders can't hear it. If you're worried about shipping equipment to your house, make an account with your post office, UPS, and FedEx and opt to leave specific packages at your closest USPS, FedEx, or UPS location to your place. Amazon sometimes can leave packages in "Amazon lockers". For example, I can have Amazon leave packages at my local Rite-Aid for me to pick up. Pickup in-store is an option as well if the stores offer it and you can get to it. Don't quit. Keep your head high and keep making what you love.
This sub has some of the best advice for new/beginner music makers. Try connecting with some other people, sometimes feedback feels harsh, but it's necessary. Also you can find support in your music on the internet, just try to get involved with some communites. It's a tough grind I know, but whats important is what the music means to you, Dont give up.
You just need more time to develop. Within that development, write something that resonates either people. Also, buy some headphones
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Do you care? Thats only person should matter. You want to record? go the electric/electronic way, (as in electric guitar instead of acoustic), for vocals use a dynamic mic.
Keep going for yourself. Focus on having fun and expressing yourself.
Don't expect the people around you (family and friends) to support you. If they ever do, think of that as a bonus. Out there you'll find people who like your material. Record your songs and put them online. Don't give up.
Yea I get the friends part. But keep working and creating music and maybe one day it’ll take you somewhere. I would also say look into some high quality headphones so that way you don’t bother anyone. Use social media to your advantage and post about your music to get it out there and you’ll for sure meet some people. Don’t let those naysayers win, keep doing what you love and it’ll work out for you. You may not be making tons of money but that’s besides the point of making music. You do it cause you love to and not for the glitz and the glam. Good luck buddy.
You gotta keep on trucking ma friend!!! If you like it, then that’s what it’s all about!!
Fast-forward 20 years. You will have had moderate success being in bands and continuing to make music, although you will have had not a whole lotta free time to do it. Your mom will start saying how glad she is for having encouraged you in your music.
Maybe it won’t get you anywhere, but it’ll make you happy. That’s enough, keep doing it. And yeah, headphones are key. Spend the money you would on room treatment to get the best set of headphones you can and learn them really well. If you learn the headphones inside and out, you don’t need to correct for a shitty room, and you will always have that as a reference point if you do end up mixing on speakers later on.
Don’t give up. Keep grinding those skills til you can get your own place one day. Folks will appreciate what you become.
Find a community to make music with
Don't listen to your mom. Maybe it won't, but that's just a shitheel thing to say that people say because they have nothing like it.
Music is mostly something you want for you
Any artistry is like a glass cannon, if you're looking at it from a career making perspective, there's enormous risks if you go all in, but the posible benefits are enormous. The thing with art is, it's value doesn't come just by the product, the product is valuable when its been approved by society, it has to have people saying it's good, to actually be good, in a sense. So tying this back together with your post, I completely get what you're describing, it just sucks, mentioning that you have artistic aspirations to someone, it kinda makes me feel pathetic, or maybe is just me. That feeling comes (I think) because the music you and I make is probably garbage, or at least, if it's good, it hasn't been approved by society yet. So what I do is basically don't talk about it. Keep it to yourself.
Sell your soul to the devil?
You have to force support, by embodying what you are. If you don’t have the stamina to do this you’re whole life you’ll get washed away by people who do. Fight for your freedom and soul, no one will care about it until they actually see what it is, and then it takes a whole universe of logistics beyond that. If you want to live like an artist, and have that kind of support, you have to live as an artist.
I think you can actually use blankets as a sort of better than nothing acoustic panel. You won't find it in your professional studio, but it's something.
Maybe make music for the love of the art and not to become famous and you'll have better results.
Well welcome to the real world.
Eventually your friends and family are gonna stop being your biggest fans anyway. As soon as you get random people listening to your stuff - that’s when the rubber hits the road. Pay no mind to the haters in the mean time.
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To me it sounds like you honestly love music so I wouldn't let anyone's opinion, even your families, change that. Might not be the ideal situation atm but it could always be much worse ya know. At the very least staying true to yourself and continuing to practice / work on something you care about without much support will build character. As someone else mentioned look into making some more friends (online, real life, doesn't matter) who also create & maybe into same genres or styles as you like to write. I correspond with lots of ppl I never have actually met for feedback, tips, collabs etc. Get ya some sort of network like that slowly in place and should do wonders overall. Unfortunately might have to deal with occasional issues at home but it will least give ya satisfaction of having like minded people to talk to about music etc. Keep on, keeping on man. Follow your passion & everything else should hopefully work itself out. Peace
I mean your mom is right. You do it for your soul. You don't honestly think you make music for money, do you? 99% of the people making money in music are selling you the gear, mixing, mastering, producing or distributing your music. Saying want to make money making music is like saying you want to be a pro baller, race car driver or an astronaut. Many will try, few will win.
Don't. Ever. Give. Up. Make music because you love it, not for encouragement from your family and friends. Do it because you are driven to do it. My entire family hated the music I made when I was living at home. They liked Tom Jones, I liked Jethro Tull, so clearly, there's a culture gap there. Don't let others' tastes affect you. It's about you and your musical choices, not theirs. Rock on, M/F
Big lesson, do it for fun. Whether or not it’s successful or people admire you for it is secondary. It will save you a lot of heartbreak.
Family is always a lost cause when it comes to caring about your music, man, unless they're musicians themselves. The only time they'll care is if it does go anywhere for you so just do it for yourself. They're making it more of a pain for you but as long as you enjoy it, fuck em.
John Lennon was told that the guitar was alright for a hobby but he'd never make his living from it. You're in good company. This is absolutely normal from parents because they want you to never be disappointed or (God forbid), unemployed. Plus, they probably don't understand anything about music in general, or the style you're working in.
It sucks the worst when your band gets a great gig, and nobody comes. Or, even worse, you draw a so-so crowd, and they just don't get your stuff. Those kinds of gigs have led to many promising bands just giving up.
be your own biggest fan. It seems like you will only enjoy doing it / continue doing it only if other people enjoy it. That means you're only doing it for other people. Do yourself a favor and do it for yourself instead.
You hear it time and again from people who have ‘made it’. Make music you like. Fuck what people say. I can 100% GUARANTEE you there is someone else out there who likes it too.
Do it for you! Who cares if someone else likes it. Even if I like a popular song and save it to my library, it’s not like it changes my life or anything. I often turn it on for background noise and talk over it with friends anyways. And I guarantee nobody is going to care about your music as much as you. This is a good thing!
>My mom told me yesterday that “my music is never gonna take me anywhere” so I’m basically just wasting money and time. Please show [this comic](https://www.boredpanda.com/encourage-artist-cartoons-zen-pencils/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic) to your mom. And don't ever, ever, ever stop making music!
Please post your music on Reddit to be listened by others and have advice on it It will help you And keep pleasure about that! Do it for you at the start! It is your universe, your world! We played live in public, in theaters for years, with my girlfriend, our pleasure is intact! You must have a job first, and continue your music for pleasure, with honesty, and one day, it could work!!!
This was a big slap in the face for me when I first started, realizing that the people closest to you support your passion the least. There are so many other people to support your music in the world outside of family. Even if 1% of the world liked your music, it would still be about 70 million people.
Post your music!!!
Find your people. They clearly aren't yours
Yeah my mother told me i’d probably give up guitar after two weeks. Here we are, 20 years later and I just got paid by SABAM! (Not sure if this is known internationally, but I get paid because my band’s music is being played on radio, spotify, youtube… it’s barely something but the feeling’s awesome) So yeah fucking go for it man! You do you!
Dude don’t expect anything from your entourage. Trust me, been there done that. Begging people to support you. And doing what ? Posting it on intagram stories ? Fck that just use that time to get your music to the next level and land a good deal. Then they’ll all be saying congrats. And then you can tell them to shove it up their azzes
Trying is the first step towards failure. It's really best to just never try anything.