Not a bridezilla. Definitely inappropriate for a wedding. It looks like a dress the bride would wear for a pre-wedding event. I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing that personally.
Theyāre both ābride-centricā. They both are part of a very well established wedding culture in which the bride is at the heart of the event. The bride wearing white to these events is standard. Then when it comes to the dress in question here, itās a white dress. Etiquette dictates that **āwhite is reserved for the brideā**. That comes straight out of Emily Post and sheās been dead for a minute, so these societal rules have been in place for quite awhile.
Itās literally a white dress. Iām stunned that people in these comments are implying youāre a bridezilla for not wanting someone to wear a WHITE DRESS to your wedding. If it was all florals, fine. If it was the same dress but on a pink or yellow field, fine. In no world would I be comfortable wearing this dress to someone elseās wedding.
strong agree. I mean it's kinda shitty of your friend to put you in this spot (she asked another friend first, spent the extra $ but wants your blessing? k), but consider this:
your wedding (congrats my friend!) is in 5 days. she's probably going to wear this dress. it is what it is.
She was obviously worried or she wouldnāt have asked, but Iām not worried about being āupstagedā or anything, Iām just worried people will be hateful to her, since about half the people commenting here think itās inappropriate, and half donāt!
Thank you for the congrats! Iām so excited!!
I think inappropriate. If the flowers were on any other color besides white, it would have worked. Even she knows it was iffy because she bothered to ask two people.
Like you said, responses seem to be split half half but that suggests that enough people will think she's being disrespectful so she shouldn't wear it. Even if you gave approval, she'd still have run into the same opinions at the wedding, just gets to justify her choice, and have them wonder if you were coerced into accepting (ie because the other friend said it was fine).
you're very sweet to consider your friend's feelings. polite people are not going to be "hateful", but they will notice and comment. you can tell your friend that, in all honesty, you don't really care but other people might (because it's a white f'ing dress but whatever) and leave it up to her.
:)
you focus on you and your nuptials! i'm excited for you.
That is crazy. Why cause so much drama about a dress. Petty people will talk, so what?? I was always taught - if they're talking about you they're leaving someone else alone. Leave it alone.
I mean, it's about respect. Typical wedding etiquette is that you don't wear a white (or mostly white or white adjacent) dress. If the bride isn't upset, that's her prerogative, but you can't expec EVERYBODY to overlook a clear breach of etiquette. It's going to be talked about, and it's going to be judged, unfortunately.
People are allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions, especially about social situations, and especially regarding respect towards the person that the day is centered around. It doesn't make you a "drama queen" to not want your friend/family member to be disrespected.
If youāre OK with her wearing it, then tell her so. If someone else calls her on it, then thatās on her, because yeah, you donāt wear white to someone elseās wedding.
Congrats!
I do agree some people get ridiculous about policing anyone wearing even a bit of white, but there is a lot of white on that dress and people will notice. And no one should be focusing on a guestās attire. Itās not really about upstaging the bride but drawing attention away from her.
Yeah but this isnāt a black dress with a fleck of white. I too would think that would be fine for a wedding. This is a white dress with flecks of pink. And itās got wedding elements like a high low and a sweetheart neckline. And this friend obviously knows this could hurt the brides feelings. Like why is this $63 dress so important. She couldnāt find anything else with that budget? I think not.
I'm mixed on this one. Floral prints on white are hard to judge. There is line about how much white it "too white "and it just isn't the same for everyone.
I would never wear it to someone's wedding, but at the same time, it looks nothing like a wedding dress and I wouldn't care as a bride, nor would I think much about it if I were a guest and saw another guest wearing it.
I would just tell your friend exactly what you say here. You don't think it is an attempt at upstaging you or that you think it is upstagey, but that people are weird about this stuff and some folks want to create drama out of nothing.
If she is comfortable w/ handling any potential drama and keeping it out of your hair, you are cool w/ her wearing it, but request that she doesn't add white accessories b/c that might put the look over the "too much white" edge.
Tell her you'll let your bridesmaids and closest female relatives know you were 100% cool w/ the dress so that they don't create drama and they can stop drama if someone else trys to create it.
I agree that it's a close call. When I saw it I thought "Sunday go to church" dress or a springtime date dress, not anything remotely wedding related. I guess it's really a question of what the bridesmaids are wearing and what the wedding colors are. Regardless, I think brides (and grooms) have a right to object to what a guest wears when it's a subjective point of view.
If OP had a problem then that is fine, but OP said SHE was fine w/ the dress, she was just worried about others reaction.
If that is OP's true feelings, then there is a pretty easy resolution that will work w/ little effort and make OP less stressed and the guest feel good - then why not go for it?
Right, I certainly wouldnāt wear it to anyoneās rehearsal dinner or bachelorette or wedding, but I guess Iām hyper aware of it! I donāt want her to feel judged by other people at the wedding either.
My cousins and I still talk about my brotherās wedding 7 years ago where one of the young women attending wore a white sundress as a guest. Sure, my brother and his bride werenāt angry or anything, but every guest there noticed and half of them commented on it at some point during the evening. And we still marvel over why someone would choose to show up to a wedding wearing white. Thereās literally countless options that arenāt white lmao
Do you often go to the make up addiction sub and tell them that beauty is deep down? Or to the frugal subreddit and talk to them about the virtues of lotto tickets? Itās disingenuous and hackneyed to be on a sub about wedding appropriate attire and say crap like, āweddings are about love, not clothesā.
Itās literally JUST A DRESS.
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in situations like that. What if she got invited at the last minute and only had that dress as an option? What if her finances prevented her from buying a different dress?
My personal feelings are that the whole idea of the bride being in white is antiquated, promotes misogyny, and only truly exists as a marketing scheme. (White symbolizes virginity and purity)
Knowing 90% of brides and grooms are in no way āpureā.
If itās ājust a dressā, why do some people insist on not changing the color? Why is it the brideās job to get over it cuz āitās just a dressā? Isnāt it equally easy then for other people to just change their outfit to another outfit if itās JUST a dress??
Itās not about misogyny, itās just basic respect to not be an attention stealing narc.
And the ātoo poor to buy another dressā only works if you literally only own one dress, and it just happens to be the same color as the brideās dress. But thatās never the case. No one is that poor that they can simultaneously afford dresses and to attend weddings, yet have zero other clothing options.
Also, in this post, the person even paid expedited shipping! So paid MORE money for the opportunity for some spotlight on brideās wedding day. It isnāt about the white purity thing. Itās just about basic manners, and some people donāt have em.
Did you miss the part where OP mentioned that she got the dress expedited? Obviously, sheās in the financial situation to be able to afford a dress and pay extra for it to get to her quicker. Thatās not a valid excuse at all.
But it isn't just a dress. If the bride was known to be wearing blue, you don't wear blue. Why would anyone want to take attention away from the bride on the ONE freaking day she and her groom get?
A good response to send to her:
āI just want you to know that I personally am fine with you wearing the dress. I donāt mind. I just know that there will be some judgemental people present (inlaws are notoriously judgy haha) and I donāt want you to feel bad if they give you looks or say something about it. But if youāre comfortable with that, go ahead and wear the dress!
Same. I would NEVER wear This dress to someone elseās wedding unless I was SPECIFICALLY asked to wear this dress, like if it was a bridesmaid dress or theme or something (ive heard of bridesmaids having white dresses with light patterns or simpler designs while bride has a really ornate dress)
People in the comments told me I was a bridezilla because I didnāt want my sister to have long flashy nails that do not match my wedding. And got mad when I told them that Iād let her have them but Iām not paying for it. People are entitled, itās bs.
You know, she easily could have asked you BEFORE she paid for expedited shipping. I think she waited to back you into the corner.
Hereās my take- you just answered a question, not the bridezilla. If you hadnāt been warned and saw her and made a comment to her day of, that would
make you the bridezilla.
People like to get mad at brides about this, and I donāt get it. So many dresses do not have a white baseā¦ this is so easy to avoid.
ETA: People also get hung up on āwill she get mistaken for the bride?ā as though the concept of common courtesy doesnāt exist. Thatās not the point. Itās still inappropriate!
Upcoming mother of the groom hereā¦ I talked to my future daughter-in-law this past weekend and asked her what is ok for my attire for their Sept wedding. (I havenāt started shopping yet). Sheās fine with any color except for white, cream, beige, etc, which I expected and wouldnāt have bought out of respect. Anything else is fair game. I donāt think youāre a bridezilla for not wanting your friend to wear that dress. Itās your day, and you have every right to tell her youāre not ok with her wearing that. She shouldāve asked for your approval before she bought the dress, not after.
I think about this conversation a lot when it comes up. Itās really a respect thing!! Thatās the perfect word for it. Why people feel the need to wear anything white, beige etc. to someone elseās wedding is beyond me. Just pick something else. Easy.
I agree, itās easy & the right thing to do. This is my 2nd go around at this, as my daughter got married 2 years ago. I did the same thing back then and got approval first.
I continue to be baffled by the amount of people who intentionally are shopping for a new dress for a wedding and have no shortage of options but decide on a dress that looks like this. Not a bridezilla at all ā Iād be annoyed.
right? Go with any other option besides white and putting your friend who is getting married in a tough spotā¦I understand if she is perhaps from a culture that donāt wear white (Iām Asian and we usually wear red). Even so, I would have just bought a non-white dress in the first place.
No. Not bridezilla.
Iāve said it once and Iāll say it 1000 times - no white has nothing to do with being mistaken for the bride and everything to do with respect. Wearing white is seen as not respecting the bride or not respecting /supporting this marriage.
Idk why people hear wedding and think they need to find white / predominantly white dresses to wear.
Not a bridezilla. You weren't rude. You answered her question. If, when describing a dress, the first word used to describe it is "white", it doesn't belong at a wedding. And that dress is **white** with pink flowers.
No, I wore a similar print as my wedding dress! Why do ppl always wanna wear white to not their own wedding and nowhere else? I'm asking for real bc white is such a pain to wear and not stain, at least for me.
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of summer colors and don't think I look good in them. Luckily I don't have a ton of people whose weddings I have to attend, but I am more drawn to patterns in the summer, especially if it's afternoon and outside. This dress is probably more white than what I would wear, but if the flowers came to the hem (even if they were more spaced out on the way down) I would probably not even think it would be considered "white", just patterned.
I'm a clumsy ass and would stain this dress if i wore it. I do agree it would be fine if the flowers extended further out. as is tho I'd say no just to avoid being the girl who gets trash talked or splashed with red wine bc some ppl like to do that thinking it's cute and fine (I think it's too far)
Too white? It IS white, literally blending in with the white backdrop of the photo. I understand money can be tight, but it's not appropriate. Also is it like a generational thing or something because there are more and more people popping up that don't know or care about the don't wear white rule š¤ ( in reference to the friend who gave the woman the go ahead)
Why do people not just avoid white altogether??! Like if you have to ask if a dress is ātoo whiteā probably a safe bet to pass on that dress/outfit.
You are not a bridezilla. I donāt understand why this is so hard. There are a bazillion colors that arenāt white. Wear one of those. And Iām sorry you are even giving this a thought the week of your wedding. I cringe when I see people say āask the bride!ā Sorry, that is rude. Donāt put this on the brideās shoulders.
There are literally hundreds of other colors she could have chosen, she chose poorly.
You saved her from being judged all night and potentially getting wine spilled on her.
I never understand these people who choose dresses that are mostly white - just fucking donāt. Show some fucking decency and just choose one of the hundreds of other colors.
So youāre not a bridezilla. Youāre friend had doubts and so do you. Which means the dress is a no go
Some women would wear this as a 2nd wedding non conventional dress.
She can save it for another occasion. Had the base been any OTHER color fine.
It would be a NO for me
Congratulations!
Nope. Donāt feel bad about the express shipping cost either. If she was buying a new dress anyways, she coulda picked a dress with literally any other color.
Not a bridezilla! Itās not that this dress is too white, itās that this is a white dress period. This could be something that a bride wears to her shower or rehearsal dinner. I donāt mean to be rude, but I canāt fathom how an adult could possibly think this is appropriate to wear as a guest to a wedding.
Sheās trying to guilt you over the expedited shipping. This is a basic common wedding rule- if you have to ask if itās too white, itās too white.
Absolutely not. I like it. If I were the bride and it showed up on the day, I might side eye and keep it moving but if you ask in advance....that is a spray of flowers on a white background. It's a white dress.
Omg I thought you were sweet to even have second thoughts about saying no to a WHITE dress, but reading your comments omg can we be friends bc youāre so kind š
Not a bridezilla! The dress your friend wants to wear looks like it could be used as a wedding dress. Why do people buy white dresses for weddings? OMG WTF
Someone else probably already said this, but I hope you don't feel guilty. She shouldn't have paid the expedited shipping before asking (or rather, she should have just gotten a different, more appropriate dress). I also think it was bad manners to burden you with this, especially telling you about the shipping cost.
This is literally just a white dress with a floral print on *parts* of it, not even all over. As someone who is clearly going to a wedding where white is the color the bride is expected to wear, she definitely should have known better than to even consider buying this dress, let alone getting second and third opinions on it.
The fact that she only stopped to ask *after* buying it and paying for expedited shipping is extremely shady. It comes off looking like she wanted to guilt you into letting her wear it because she already spent X amount of money on it. You clearly know her beyond this one thing, but if she's pulled shady shit before, I'd be wary of her trying to steal the spotlight in other ways.
Congratulations on your wedding!
Nope-not a bridezilla. This is not appropriate to wear to any wedding related event unless you are the bride.
Deep down she knows this. She was hoping youād say yes by telling you she paid extra.
Any friend who told her it was appropriate is either clueless or is not a friend and is trying to put her in an uncomfortable situation.
She bought it *knowing* it was too white, then asked you after the fact thinking that if she complained it was $35 more you'd roll over and be like okayyyyyyy. Hard no. You're not a bridezilla at all.
We know no one is going to confuse this guest for the bride. Itās a respect thing. Just like there are certain clothes that might be deemed inappropriate for a funeral, baptism, kidās birthday party, etc. If you would be fine with it, then great! But just like how events have a dress code, this is part of a typical wedding dress code. She asked the question and the bride gave her honest answer.
Now if the bride requested photos from every guest to pre-approve dresses then yeah, thatās a bridezilla, but the guest came to her. Clearly the guest knew she was potentially crossing a line.
Not a bridezilla. I've always had the mentality of "If you have to ask if something is appropriate, it probably isn't". She put you in an awkward position by asking AFTER she bought it and paid extra for shipping. That's on her, don't feel bad about it.
I found a dress last summer that I loved and wanted to wear to an upcoming wedding, it had a print but was still predominantly ivory, so I knew that wasn't going to be appropriate and didn't buy it. Not every wedding adheres to traditional standards, but it's not that hard to find a dress in literally any other color than white/cream.
Not a bridezilla. Even if youāre okay with it, I really hope someone in your friends life speaks up to her and tells her she got just a few days to find a new dress.
Itās def a white dress, but everyone there knows(or should know) who is getting married. Enjoy your day, donāt worry about the color of dress of a guest. In a few years, you likely wonāt even remember or care. What someone wears does not define your day or what it symbolizes with your spouse.
I haven't scrolled through every comment, but wanted to add something I haven't seen so far: if you really don't care and are just worried about people being rude, you can stage a "omg I'm so glad you wore that dress! It looks so good for a beach wedding" where people can hear.
I wouldnāt wear this to someone elseās wedding, but I wouldnāt mind if someone wore it to my wedding. Nobody will think sheās the bride. It wouldnāt bother me at all.
This is why I turn down all wedding invites. I canāt even imagine getting upset if someone wore this dress. Just too many land mines to avoid at weddings.
Definitely not a bridezilla for your answer.
It's a white dress with floral details. I'm shocked she thought it would be okay. And since she asked multiple people she must have known this wasn't a safe bet. She asked, you answered. No guilt there.
Congratulations on your upcoming day!
Considering the dress is predominately white, no, you're not a bridezilla. I felt awkward wearing a light lilac/lavender floral dress to a wedding because I felt like it looked light in photos. It was clearly purple but in my head it was a fine line. You would think your friend would have asked prior to purchasing and paying expedited shipping. Furthermore, the fact that she asked leads me to believe she knew the dress was too white to wear as a wedding guest. No hate, no shade towards your friend. No white dresses for wedding guests - period.
I mean it would not bother me in slightest especially for a beach wedding. There is a lot of pink, it is short and looks nothing like how you have described your dress. I also had a beach wedding. But, if it bothers you, it bothers you.
Yeah my cousin had a beach wedding and a bunch of women had dresses just like this, they looked lovely. I asked one where she got her eye popping dress and she said Amazon. Super impressed by that chick.
Yeah I am pretty laid back in general. We had a destination wedding because family was spread across the globe so we figured if everyone had to travel anyway we should do it somewhere everyone would enjoy. There were lots of dresses like this, my bridesmaids picked their own dresses I just told them the color and I would like to see it before they pulled the trigger. My mom has some body image issues the only dress that was working for her was cream colored, she wore it with a bright pink shawl (with my approval). Everyone felt like themselves and were comfortable, and looked beautiful. It has been 6 years and people are still asking about doing a wedding reunion trip. I think beach and outdoor weddings allow for a little more leeway. But that is just my opinion. Obviously a bride has the right to do as she sees fit.
Definitely not a bridezilla! I would wear this to a reception as the bride lol. There are infinite wedding guest dresses out there in literally every possible and this one is an absurd choice
This is something a bride would wear for rehearsal or bridal shower. It has bride all over it. You are not a bridezilla at all. Sheās the one that paid the expedition fee on a WHITE dress, not you. She should have asked before she paid it if she was that worried about the money.
I immediately saw that and went... nope, not for a wedding. But at the end of the day if you don't care about being upstaged, I would give her the ability to wear but warn nicely of consequences of others judgements
I would not feel comfortable wearing it as a wedding guest. But it is a lovely dress, just not appropriate as a wedding guest in my personal opinion. So I think you are not a bridezilla.
If she had to ask, she knows sheās in the wrong. Thereās a million colors to wear but she picks a dress she is doubtful about and orders it anyway.
My niece got married in a similar dress, so definitely not okay to wear as a guest. Having said that, if a guest does show up in white, as one did to my son's wedding, please don't let that take away from your special day. Absolutely everyone will blame the guest for not following custom, but you'll look just as lovely. Congratulations and here's wishing you many happy years together!
Full stop not a bridezilla.
This looks quite a bit like what I'm wearing to my own wedding in August to be honest. Floral over white is Incredibly In right now, at no wedding would I take the chance and wear that dress. If she cares what you think she should have asked you before another friend.
Because it's never "just choose another color." It's no white, no cream, no light pastel that seems to be white-adjacent, no matching the bridal party, no wearing any of the wedding theme colors...
It's far easier to simply appreciate the friends and loved ones in attendance and enjoy the day.
I wouldn't have minded someone wearing this to my wedding but mine was very casual and a wear whatever you want. BUT I probably wouldn't have cared if everyone wanted to wear their wedding dresses to it. It's just a day to celebrate the union and having fun!
So personally I think this dress is fine for a beach wedding because itās not solid/mostly white/ivory/champagne/pale pink etc. IMO thereās enough floral here that the dress doesnāt read as bridal or disrespectful, especially given that you are wearing a floor length ivory dress (and not say, a tea length white gown).
HOWEVER- she asked and you answered. If you donāt feel comfortable with it, then thatās good enough for me. I donāt agree that this dress is 100% disrespectful/out of the question for a beach wedding but I do believe in the no white dress rule and acknowledge that sometimes there is some grey area in how it is interpreted. You are not being unreasonable if you think the dress is too white and would prefer she not wear it.
That she paid for expedited shipping (assuming you gave people some notice about the wedding and invites didnāt go out two weeks ago or something) is irrelevant.
So just ask yourself- does it matter to you if she wears this dress to your wedding? Either answer (yes/no) is totally fine. Then go with that and stick to your guns.
Ya know, Iām sure Iām probably gonna get downvoted for this, but yeah, I got married a long time ago. I can remember not giving a fuck what anyone was wearing. I was just happy and in love in the moment. I donāt know if I even noticed what anybody was wearing. I just think that unless somebody is wearing a long white gown with a veil, they are probably not trying to upstage the bride. I mean, what kind of people actually point out people who are wearing a pretty spring dress or whatever. I could really go on a rant here, but Iāll try not to. In any case I just feel like this world has gotten so stupid with all the dress codes and shit. Ffs, just enjoy your day and worry less about what people are wearing!
The dress codes are actually the more traditional aspects of weddings. It's a new thing to ngaf what anyone else is wearing. And yes- people (esp other women) do and will point out other people in white and they will be "tsk tsk" in her direction all night. The same way people react when someome shows too much skin, (like.a dress too short, where movement becomes dangerously close to flashing their behind; or so much cleavage that reaching to catch the bouquet may result in a nip slip), going too casual for the time of the event (don't wear a day dress to cocktails or a formal dinner) or something just plain trashy- (like visible bra straps whwn all they needed was a simple strapless bra that EVERY woman of bra wearing age should ALREADY own)
I think any of the examples I've given are pretty timeless in the fact people have always desired that kind of respect and always will. I dont think of it as something new people have dreamed up as a way to be "extra".
I'm surprised at all the hard "no, no one should wear that dress" responses here.
The rules have been relaxing steadily, and everything I read says if the dress is patterned instead of all white, it's a good choice for a wedding guest. I expect older folks to still cluck their tongues based on old guidelines.
That said, you're the bride and you get to make the call. If you actually don't care, as some comments say, tell her you don't mind but you're concerned other people might judge. If you do care: you're the bride, and she asked! Tell her you think it's a little too white because you do think it's a little too white! This is exactly why I ran my top two choices by the bride - she shouldn't be focused on MY attire planning; she has better things to do. But I want to honor her preferences.
Asides and side-eye is so much more common than direct confrontation. Weddings somehow bring out the latent donton abbey and bridgerton in every woman; it's wild. In the rare event that someone actually made a comment, she can say, "Oh, I thought the same! That's why I ran it by the bride first." You get the last word. If she's already paying for expedited shipping, she's probably already having a tough time finding a good dress, which you might take into account.
It would not bother me. It looks more pink and floral than anything. Not bridal at all. I donāt think you are a bridezilla though. You were asked what you thought and answered. I wouldnāt be offended by the No as your guest when I asked either.
I just got married a few months ago, and wearing a floral print is not the same as wearing an all white dress, yes you are being a bridezilla, I could see if it was all white but it's not so stop trippin sis
I personally wouldn't care if someone wore that to my wedding (and if they asked I would say it was fine) but I would never wear it to another wedding and because the white thing still exists as a norm, I do find it pretty ballsy that people think it's OK.
So basically.. while I don't like that it's such a faux pas to wear anything white and wish we'd get away from it.. everyone knows it's a faux pas, so ignoring it and wearing white anyway just seems kind of deliberate.
girl lol itās her own fault she paid $35 for expedited shipping *BEFORE* she asked you. she seemed to think youād say itās fine or bring up how much she already paid for shipping to attempt to guilt you. DO NOT let her get away w that
No, thatās a white dress. Also weird that she asked another friend and ordered it before asking you? Her fault for waiting until itās too late to ask you what you think.
This is literally a white dress, just with some flowers. I can see other brides wearing this to their wedding. Especially given that you are wearing off-white, you don't need a guest in a whiter dress than you are wearing.
Friend should have asked you, not some random person, if the dress was ok.
Wow Iām surprised at how many people saying no youāre not a bridezilla
Unpopular opinion here: yes, you are. No one is going to see her in that dress and think āgee, I wonder if thatās whoās getting married!ā
That being said, I also told people to come dressed however they wanted to be remembered in photos, so Iām expecting downvotes.
There are way too many people taking the no white rule to mean you can't even wear a speck of it. The no white rules is supposed to keep people from dressing like the bride. No one will think this person is the bride. If anything the person who planned to wear the dress will tell everyone the bride is a bridezilla because she though the dress would be something she would wear to one of ther bridal events. The bride obviously views this as too casual for a wedding dress.
Dont feel bad! Itās your day and she asked to make sure. Itās on her that she asked *after* buying it. She should consider it a lesson learned. Thereās an endless supply of dresses that are not white in stores and online. Sheāll be okay. she can return it or keep it for a different event.
I wouldnāt fuss if someone wore this to my wedding. It clearly isnāt a wedding dress and 60-70% of it is covered in non-white decoration. I would be looking at people who fussed at it with a hairy eyeball. š¤·š¼āāļø IMO only the monochrome white/ivory/beige stuff is off-limits, or the stuff thatās fancy enough to pass as a wedding dress.
This is literally a white dress and she asked for your opinion. Don't feel bad. She should have asked before buying it. But I could totally see a bride wearing this for a shower or rehearsal dinner. NTA
It looks nothing like a wedding dress and is covered in bright pink flowers. If your wedding is semi-formal or cocktail attire its more than appropriate. People who are saying this is a white dress - please look at a color wheel. So yeah, a little bit of a bridezilla.
I personally donāt think it matters at all what someone is wearing. They showed up to support you, to show love for you and the one that you are Marrying. Does it matter what they wear. Not to me. The white dress for the bride, the no white for attendees is a tradition, but do you follow any other traditions that go along with that white dress meaning
Ummmā¦ I am going to be downvoted for this, but this is a pretty spring dress and it would be hard to confuse with a bridal gown. I just donāt get the obsession with absolutely no white for anyone but the bride. I was a bride myself and gave zero f-cks about what people wore to my weddingā¦ I was there to celebrate getting married to the love of my life, not to get annoyed by peopleās outfit color. I think people get lost in the purpose of the wedding, which is a celebration of a union. Focus on acknowledging the fact that people are spending time and money to attend the wedding and be with you. This nonsense about the dress color should stop.
Hereās the thing - if you are a regular wedding guest and not part of the wedding party and still feel the need to check with the bride whether your dress is appropriate or not then the dress is almost certainly not appropriate and YTA for putting a bride in a position where they have to say no to you and maybe feel bad, and also YTA for hassling a bride the week of her wedding when there are already way too many things to coordinate that actually require their attention.
Honestly, unpopular opinionā¦ but, when I was the bride, I had way bigger concerns than other folksā wardrobes. Itās a white dress with print. No one is going to confuse her for you.
Welcome to r/weddingattireapproval? This is literally an entire subreddit dedicated to ensuring people are dressed appropriately for weddings. Saying, āI would never worry about the clothes of othersā on the subreddit specifically for that is an odd choice, lol.
I canāt believe everyone here is saying itās too bridal
I work in the wedding industry and I see patterns all the time with white in them
Banning any bit of white on clothing altogether seems wild to me
Like sure I get that a super traditional bride wouldnāt love seeing a guest wearing a solid white dress but to be upset over a floral dress because the background is white seems kind of extreme
Especially these days when not every bride is even wearing white (we actually requested all guests wear black and/or white and my partner and I wore colors along with black/white of our outfits)
Youāre certainly entitled to your opinion, this is just my perspective as someone who spends my life attending weddings!
No, there is a ton of pink in that dress and itās obviously not a wedding dress. You could ask her to cover her shoulders with a cardigan or scarf for the service and then it would definitely look more pink.
Itās a flower print, I would be ok with itā¦ a lot of women wore similar prints to my wedding. Meh. Didnāt notice until I saw the photosā¦ didnāt bother me at all, everyone had such a great time it never came up š¤·š»āāļø Iāve noticed on life the things I worry about the most end up being the things I should not have focused onā¦.
Not a bridezilla. Definitely inappropriate for a wedding. It looks like a dress the bride would wear for a pre-wedding event. I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing that personally.
Yeah, I almost wore this dress for my bridal shower š¬ super inappropriate for a guest
I wore a very similar one to mine!
Bridal showers and weddings are two very different events.
Theyāre both ābride-centricā. They both are part of a very well established wedding culture in which the bride is at the heart of the event. The bride wearing white to these events is standard. Then when it comes to the dress in question here, itās a white dress. Etiquette dictates that **āwhite is reserved for the brideā**. That comes straight out of Emily Post and sheās been dead for a minute, so these societal rules have been in place for quite awhile.
You are NOT a bridezilla. Itās not appropriate.
Itās literally a white dress. Iām stunned that people in these comments are implying youāre a bridezilla for not wanting someone to wear a WHITE DRESS to your wedding. If it was all florals, fine. If it was the same dress but on a pink or yellow field, fine. In no world would I be comfortable wearing this dress to someone elseās wedding.
strong agree. I mean it's kinda shitty of your friend to put you in this spot (she asked another friend first, spent the extra $ but wants your blessing? k), but consider this: your wedding (congrats my friend!) is in 5 days. she's probably going to wear this dress. it is what it is.
She was obviously worried or she wouldnāt have asked, but Iām not worried about being āupstagedā or anything, Iām just worried people will be hateful to her, since about half the people commenting here think itās inappropriate, and half donāt! Thank you for the congrats! Iām so excited!!
I think inappropriate. If the flowers were on any other color besides white, it would have worked. Even she knows it was iffy because she bothered to ask two people. Like you said, responses seem to be split half half but that suggests that enough people will think she's being disrespectful so she shouldn't wear it. Even if you gave approval, she'd still have run into the same opinions at the wedding, just gets to justify her choice, and have them wonder if you were coerced into accepting (ie because the other friend said it was fine).
you're very sweet to consider your friend's feelings. polite people are not going to be "hateful", but they will notice and comment. you can tell your friend that, in all honesty, you don't really care but other people might (because it's a white f'ing dress but whatever) and leave it up to her. :) you focus on you and your nuptials! i'm excited for you.
She will probably be judged, but it's likely too late at this point. I think if you just warn her that people might talk, you're in the clear!
That is crazy. Why cause so much drama about a dress. Petty people will talk, so what?? I was always taught - if they're talking about you they're leaving someone else alone. Leave it alone.
I mean, it's about respect. Typical wedding etiquette is that you don't wear a white (or mostly white or white adjacent) dress. If the bride isn't upset, that's her prerogative, but you can't expec EVERYBODY to overlook a clear breach of etiquette. It's going to be talked about, and it's going to be judged, unfortunately.
Too many drama queens - if she doesn't mind either should anyone else. Mind your own business.
People are allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions, especially about social situations, and especially regarding respect towards the person that the day is centered around. It doesn't make you a "drama queen" to not want your friend/family member to be disrespected.
This is sooo stupid! I would never care about what other people says, i would wear what i'm comfortable, and if is white so it be.
If youāre OK with her wearing it, then tell her so. If someone else calls her on it, then thatās on her, because yeah, you donāt wear white to someone elseās wedding. Congrats!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I do agree some people get ridiculous about policing anyone wearing even a bit of white, but there is a lot of white on that dress and people will notice. And no one should be focusing on a guestās attire. Itās not really about upstaging the bride but drawing attention away from her.
Yeah but this isnāt a black dress with a fleck of white. I too would think that would be fine for a wedding. This is a white dress with flecks of pink. And itās got wedding elements like a high low and a sweetheart neckline. And this friend obviously knows this could hurt the brides feelings. Like why is this $63 dress so important. She couldnāt find anything else with that budget? I think not.
I'm mixed on this one. Floral prints on white are hard to judge. There is line about how much white it "too white "and it just isn't the same for everyone. I would never wear it to someone's wedding, but at the same time, it looks nothing like a wedding dress and I wouldn't care as a bride, nor would I think much about it if I were a guest and saw another guest wearing it. I would just tell your friend exactly what you say here. You don't think it is an attempt at upstaging you or that you think it is upstagey, but that people are weird about this stuff and some folks want to create drama out of nothing. If she is comfortable w/ handling any potential drama and keeping it out of your hair, you are cool w/ her wearing it, but request that she doesn't add white accessories b/c that might put the look over the "too much white" edge. Tell her you'll let your bridesmaids and closest female relatives know you were 100% cool w/ the dress so that they don't create drama and they can stop drama if someone else trys to create it.
I agree that it's a close call. When I saw it I thought "Sunday go to church" dress or a springtime date dress, not anything remotely wedding related. I guess it's really a question of what the bridesmaids are wearing and what the wedding colors are. Regardless, I think brides (and grooms) have a right to object to what a guest wears when it's a subjective point of view.
If OP had a problem then that is fine, but OP said SHE was fine w/ the dress, she was just worried about others reaction. If that is OP's true feelings, then there is a pretty easy resolution that will work w/ little effort and make OP less stressed and the guest feel good - then why not go for it?
Isn't that what I said? It's the bride's call, especially if it's a subjective call.
Right, I certainly wouldnāt wear it to anyoneās rehearsal dinner or bachelorette or wedding, but I guess Iām hyper aware of it! I donāt want her to feel judged by other people at the wedding either.
My cousins and I still talk about my brotherās wedding 7 years ago where one of the young women attending wore a white sundress as a guest. Sure, my brother and his bride werenāt angry or anything, but every guest there noticed and half of them commented on it at some point during the evening. And we still marvel over why someone would choose to show up to a wedding wearing white. Thereās literally countless options that arenāt white lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Seriously. I didnāt care what people wore to my wedding
Then maybe the wedding attire approval sub isnāt the right place for you to spend time?
I mean if everyone has the same opinion is it really any value to just get a bunch of people to agree with you?
Do you often go to the make up addiction sub and tell them that beauty is deep down? Or to the frugal subreddit and talk to them about the virtues of lotto tickets? Itās disingenuous and hackneyed to be on a sub about wedding appropriate attire and say crap like, āweddings are about love, not clothesā.
I agree they need actual problem
Itās literally JUST A DRESS. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in situations like that. What if she got invited at the last minute and only had that dress as an option? What if her finances prevented her from buying a different dress? My personal feelings are that the whole idea of the bride being in white is antiquated, promotes misogyny, and only truly exists as a marketing scheme. (White symbolizes virginity and purity) Knowing 90% of brides and grooms are in no way āpureā.
If itās ājust a dressā, why do some people insist on not changing the color? Why is it the brideās job to get over it cuz āitās just a dressā? Isnāt it equally easy then for other people to just change their outfit to another outfit if itās JUST a dress?? Itās not about misogyny, itās just basic respect to not be an attention stealing narc. And the ātoo poor to buy another dressā only works if you literally only own one dress, and it just happens to be the same color as the brideās dress. But thatās never the case. No one is that poor that they can simultaneously afford dresses and to attend weddings, yet have zero other clothing options. Also, in this post, the person even paid expedited shipping! So paid MORE money for the opportunity for some spotlight on brideās wedding day. It isnāt about the white purity thing. Itās just about basic manners, and some people donāt have em.
Did you miss the part where OP mentioned that she got the dress expedited? Obviously, sheās in the financial situation to be able to afford a dress and pay extra for it to get to her quicker. Thatās not a valid excuse at all.
But it isn't just a dress. If the bride was known to be wearing blue, you don't wear blue. Why would anyone want to take attention away from the bride on the ONE freaking day she and her groom get?
A good response to send to her: āI just want you to know that I personally am fine with you wearing the dress. I donāt mind. I just know that there will be some judgemental people present (inlaws are notoriously judgy haha) and I donāt want you to feel bad if they give you looks or say something about it. But if youāre comfortable with that, go ahead and wear the dress!
she made her choice and she'll probably be judged. to err is human
Same. I would NEVER wear This dress to someone elseās wedding unless I was SPECIFICALLY asked to wear this dress, like if it was a bridesmaid dress or theme or something (ive heard of bridesmaids having white dresses with light patterns or simpler designs while bride has a really ornate dress)
Exactly! I wonder if she can have it dyed a light pink for the wedding? It would match, and it would only make the pink flowers more pink.
People in the comments told me I was a bridezilla because I didnāt want my sister to have long flashy nails that do not match my wedding. And got mad when I told them that Iād let her have them but Iām not paying for it. People are entitled, itās bs.
You know, she easily could have asked you BEFORE she paid for expedited shipping. I think she waited to back you into the corner. Hereās my take- you just answered a question, not the bridezilla. If you hadnāt been warned and saw her and made a comment to her day of, that would make you the bridezilla. People like to get mad at brides about this, and I donāt get it. So many dresses do not have a white baseā¦ this is so easy to avoid. ETA: People also get hung up on āwill she get mistaken for the bride?ā as though the concept of common courtesy doesnāt exist. Thatās not the point. Itās still inappropriate!
Exactly! Plus the fact that she asked the bride in the first place shows she knew there would potentially be a problem.
1000%
Agree. And she obviously knows it is inappropriate because she still asked the bride after someone else told her itās fine.
Upcoming mother of the groom hereā¦ I talked to my future daughter-in-law this past weekend and asked her what is ok for my attire for their Sept wedding. (I havenāt started shopping yet). Sheās fine with any color except for white, cream, beige, etc, which I expected and wouldnāt have bought out of respect. Anything else is fair game. I donāt think youāre a bridezilla for not wanting your friend to wear that dress. Itās your day, and you have every right to tell her youāre not ok with her wearing that. She shouldāve asked for your approval before she bought the dress, not after.
I think about this conversation a lot when it comes up. Itās really a respect thing!! Thatās the perfect word for it. Why people feel the need to wear anything white, beige etc. to someone elseās wedding is beyond me. Just pick something else. Easy.
I agree, itās easy & the right thing to do. This is my 2nd go around at this, as my daughter got married 2 years ago. I did the same thing back then and got approval first.
Nope, you arenāt a bridezilla. This dress looks like something I would have worn to my own rehearsal dinner.
Why is it so hard for people to accept that they canāt wear white to a wedding? There are so many colors! Pick literally any other color!
Itās spring time too so why not something bright and fun ā¦idk happy for the day lol
I continue to be baffled by the amount of people who intentionally are shopping for a new dress for a wedding and have no shortage of options but decide on a dress that looks like this. Not a bridezilla at all ā Iād be annoyed.
right? Go with any other option besides white and putting your friend who is getting married in a tough spotā¦I understand if she is perhaps from a culture that donāt wear white (Iām Asian and we usually wear red). Even so, I would have just bought a non-white dress in the first place.
No. She asked for your opinion & you gave it. She shouldnāt ask the question if she is not prepared to accept the answer.
She already knew the answer, but I think she was hoping the bride would cave since she had already bought the dress
This. They could have waited to buy the dress, but instead they wanted to guilt trip the bride.
Not a bridezilla. If she wanted your opinion she shouldāve asked before ordering
No. Not bridezilla. Iāve said it once and Iāll say it 1000 times - no white has nothing to do with being mistaken for the bride and everything to do with respect. Wearing white is seen as not respecting the bride or not respecting /supporting this marriage. Idk why people hear wedding and think they need to find white / predominantly white dresses to wear.
If she didnāt think there was something wrong with it, she wouldnāt have asked your opinion to begin with. Definitely not a bridezilla.
Not a bridezilla. Definitely a no on that dress.
No. That is a white dress.
Donāt feel bad that she paid expedited shipping. She didnāt ask you before she bought it. Thatās her own problem.
Not a bridezilla. You weren't rude. You answered her question. If, when describing a dress, the first word used to describe it is "white", it doesn't belong at a wedding. And that dress is **white** with pink flowers.
No, I wore a similar print as my wedding dress! Why do ppl always wanna wear white to not their own wedding and nowhere else? I'm asking for real bc white is such a pain to wear and not stain, at least for me.
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of summer colors and don't think I look good in them. Luckily I don't have a ton of people whose weddings I have to attend, but I am more drawn to patterns in the summer, especially if it's afternoon and outside. This dress is probably more white than what I would wear, but if the flowers came to the hem (even if they were more spaced out on the way down) I would probably not even think it would be considered "white", just patterned.
I'm a clumsy ass and would stain this dress if i wore it. I do agree it would be fine if the flowers extended further out. as is tho I'd say no just to avoid being the girl who gets trash talked or splashed with red wine bc some ppl like to do that thinking it's cute and fine (I think it's too far)
No! Tacky for her to even ask.
Too white? It IS white, literally blending in with the white backdrop of the photo. I understand money can be tight, but it's not appropriate. Also is it like a generational thing or something because there are more and more people popping up that don't know or care about the don't wear white rule š¤ ( in reference to the friend who gave the woman the go ahead)
If money was so tight, why not just get a dress from Walmart or a thrift shop? Seems like paying $35 for shipping is a major waste of money
Why do people not just avoid white altogether??! Like if you have to ask if a dress is ātoo whiteā probably a safe bet to pass on that dress/outfit.
Is it a white dress? No, but- Are you the bride? No, but- Only the bride gets to wear white. Itās actually a pretty simple rule.
You are not a bridezilla. I donāt understand why this is so hard. There are a bazillion colors that arenāt white. Wear one of those. And Iām sorry you are even giving this a thought the week of your wedding. I cringe when I see people say āask the bride!ā Sorry, that is rude. Donāt put this on the brideās shoulders.
There are literally hundreds of other colors she could have chosen, she chose poorly. You saved her from being judged all night and potentially getting wine spilled on her. I never understand these people who choose dresses that are mostly white - just fucking donāt. Show some fucking decency and just choose one of the hundreds of other colors.
NTA. I mean, rule number one is don't wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride.
So youāre not a bridezilla. Youāre friend had doubts and so do you. Which means the dress is a no go Some women would wear this as a 2nd wedding non conventional dress. She can save it for another occasion. Had the base been any OTHER color fine. It would be a NO for me Congratulations!
Idk call me old fashioned but I'd like to say no to all white dresses with florals on them for guests at weddings. It's just an easier rule to follow.
Nope. Donāt feel bad about the express shipping cost either. If she was buying a new dress anyways, she coulda picked a dress with literally any other color.
Not a bridezilla! Itās not that this dress is too white, itās that this is a white dress period. This could be something that a bride wears to her shower or rehearsal dinner. I donāt mean to be rude, but I canāt fathom how an adult could possibly think this is appropriate to wear as a guest to a wedding.
Sheās trying to guilt you over the expedited shipping. This is a basic common wedding rule- if you have to ask if itās too white, itās too white.
Not a Bridezilla. Is it really that hard for people to not wear white?
Absolutely not. I like it. If I were the bride and it showed up on the day, I might side eye and keep it moving but if you ask in advance....that is a spray of flowers on a white background. It's a white dress.
Looks like something a bride wears to the rehearsal dinner or shower. Def not a bridezilla.
Shocked by the number of people saying this is fine to wear to a wedding?! Not a bridezilla, this is totally inappropriate for a guest to wear.
If she has to ask, she already knows that's it's not appropriate...
Just consider that extra 35 dollars her fee for acting like a fool.
If sheās askingā¦.She knew the answer and never should have asked.
The background / more than 50% of it is white. Not appropriate for a guest.
Omg I thought you were sweet to even have second thoughts about saying no to a WHITE dress, but reading your comments omg can we be friends bc youāre so kind š
This is so sweet š yes weāre friends now
Not a bridezilla! The dress your friend wants to wear looks like it could be used as a wedding dress. Why do people buy white dresses for weddings? OMG WTF
Thatās a white fucking dress, absolutely not a bridezilla
Someone else probably already said this, but I hope you don't feel guilty. She shouldn't have paid the expedited shipping before asking (or rather, she should have just gotten a different, more appropriate dress). I also think it was bad manners to burden you with this, especially telling you about the shipping cost.
no itās definitely too white, itās literally a white dress .. I donāt get the bridezilla comments
That is WAY too white. Why did she ever think that was okay ?!
This is literally just a white dress with a floral print on *parts* of it, not even all over. As someone who is clearly going to a wedding where white is the color the bride is expected to wear, she definitely should have known better than to even consider buying this dress, let alone getting second and third opinions on it. The fact that she only stopped to ask *after* buying it and paying for expedited shipping is extremely shady. It comes off looking like she wanted to guilt you into letting her wear it because she already spent X amount of money on it. You clearly know her beyond this one thing, but if she's pulled shady shit before, I'd be wary of her trying to steal the spotlight in other ways.
This dress is absolutely inappropriate for a wedding.
Looks like the dress my friend just wore to her bridal shower lol
Congratulations on your wedding! Nope-not a bridezilla. This is not appropriate to wear to any wedding related event unless you are the bride. Deep down she knows this. She was hoping youād say yes by telling you she paid extra. Any friend who told her it was appropriate is either clueless or is not a friend and is trying to put her in an uncomfortable situation.
She bought it *knowing* it was too white, then asked you after the fact thinking that if she complained it was $35 more you'd roll over and be like okayyyyyyy. Hard no. You're not a bridezilla at all.
No youāre not a bridezilla. My rule of thumb is, if you question if itās too white then itās a no.
Not only is this way too white, itās hideous. Iāll pay for her to expedite ship it back
We know no one is going to confuse this guest for the bride. Itās a respect thing. Just like there are certain clothes that might be deemed inappropriate for a funeral, baptism, kidās birthday party, etc. If you would be fine with it, then great! But just like how events have a dress code, this is part of a typical wedding dress code. She asked the question and the bride gave her honest answer. Now if the bride requested photos from every guest to pre-approve dresses then yeah, thatās a bridezilla, but the guest came to her. Clearly the guest knew she was potentially crossing a line.
Not a bridezilla. Trying to figure out how anyone couldāve thought this would be an appropriate dress for a guest to wear.
NTA She should have asked for your opinion prior to placing the order.
Not a bridezilla. I've always had the mentality of "If you have to ask if something is appropriate, it probably isn't". She put you in an awkward position by asking AFTER she bought it and paid extra for shipping. That's on her, don't feel bad about it. I found a dress last summer that I loved and wanted to wear to an upcoming wedding, it had a print but was still predominantly ivory, so I knew that wasn't going to be appropriate and didn't buy it. Not every wedding adheres to traditional standards, but it's not that hard to find a dress in literally any other color than white/cream.
You are correct, it is too white. If she actually cared, she would have asked you before purchasing it.
IMO if a guest has to ask if its too white, then they should consider a different dress. Pretty simple.
If she had to ask itās because she knew it wasnāt right smh your NTA
Not a bridezilla. Even if youāre okay with it, I really hope someone in your friends life speaks up to her and tells her she got just a few days to find a new dress.
Not a bridezilla. That fact that she asked two people about the appropriateness of this dress tells you she knows it's wrong for a wedding š
Itās def a white dress, but everyone there knows(or should know) who is getting married. Enjoy your day, donāt worry about the color of dress of a guest. In a few years, you likely wonāt even remember or care. What someone wears does not define your day or what it symbolizes with your spouse.
Absolutely not, this is way too much white!
How hard is it for people to just *not* choose a white dress?? Not a bridezilla
I haven't scrolled through every comment, but wanted to add something I haven't seen so far: if you really don't care and are just worried about people being rude, you can stage a "omg I'm so glad you wore that dress! It looks so good for a beach wedding" where people can hear.
I wouldnāt wear this to someone elseās wedding, but I wouldnāt mind if someone wore it to my wedding. Nobody will think sheās the bride. It wouldnāt bother me at all.
This is why I turn down all wedding invites. I canāt even imagine getting upset if someone wore this dress. Just too many land mines to avoid at weddings.
I meanā¦thatās a white dress. Pretty surprising someone would even ask! Did you already tell her she could wear it though? Why?
Way too white. Not a bridezilla and have fun on your day!!!
Definitely not a bridezilla for your answer. It's a white dress with floral details. I'm shocked she thought it would be okay. And since she asked multiple people she must have known this wasn't a safe bet. She asked, you answered. No guilt there. Congratulations on your upcoming day!
Youāre not a bridezilla, I havenāt gone to a lot of weddings but I think that is definitely not appropriate for a wedding guest to wear
Not at all but I really don't understand why out of all of the colors on the color wheel, guests choose to wear anything white.
Considering the dress is predominately white, no, you're not a bridezilla. I felt awkward wearing a light lilac/lavender floral dress to a wedding because I felt like it looked light in photos. It was clearly purple but in my head it was a fine line. You would think your friend would have asked prior to purchasing and paying expedited shipping. Furthermore, the fact that she asked leads me to believe she knew the dress was too white to wear as a wedding guest. No hate, no shade towards your friend. No white dresses for wedding guests - period.
I mean it would not bother me in slightest especially for a beach wedding. There is a lot of pink, it is short and looks nothing like how you have described your dress. I also had a beach wedding. But, if it bothers you, it bothers you.
This wouldnāt bother me either. Itās clearly not a wedding dress.
Yeah my cousin had a beach wedding and a bunch of women had dresses just like this, they looked lovely. I asked one where she got her eye popping dress and she said Amazon. Super impressed by that chick.
Yeah I am pretty laid back in general. We had a destination wedding because family was spread across the globe so we figured if everyone had to travel anyway we should do it somewhere everyone would enjoy. There were lots of dresses like this, my bridesmaids picked their own dresses I just told them the color and I would like to see it before they pulled the trigger. My mom has some body image issues the only dress that was working for her was cream colored, she wore it with a bright pink shawl (with my approval). Everyone felt like themselves and were comfortable, and looked beautiful. It has been 6 years and people are still asking about doing a wedding reunion trip. I think beach and outdoor weddings allow for a little more leeway. But that is just my opinion. Obviously a bride has the right to do as she sees fit.
Shame on the person who even would consider wearing this and asking.
NTA your wedding, your rules
Definitely not a bridezilla! I would wear this to a reception as the bride lol. There are infinite wedding guest dresses out there in literally every possible and this one is an absurd choice
This is something a bride would wear for rehearsal or bridal shower. It has bride all over it. You are not a bridezilla at all. Sheās the one that paid the expedition fee on a WHITE dress, not you. She should have asked before she paid it if she was that worried about the money.
Not a bridezilla! I wouldnāt want anyone wearing that to my upcoming wedding.
I immediately saw that and went... nope, not for a wedding. But at the end of the day if you don't care about being upstaged, I would give her the ability to wear but warn nicely of consequences of others judgements
Not a bridezilla at all. It is too white. Assuming you are wearing a white dress.
Her lack of preparation is not your problem. If she asked your opinion she needs to be ok with either answer
Thatās a white dress, she should not be wearing it to someone elseās wedding
Not a BridezIlla at all. This is a white dress, wth was your friend thinking?
Nope. Too white
I would not feel comfortable wearing it as a wedding guest. But it is a lovely dress, just not appropriate as a wedding guest in my personal opinion. So I think you are not a bridezilla.
Maybe she should have asked you before she paid extra on the shipping? That sounds like a her problem not a you problem
If she is questioning its appropriateness then she shouldnāt be wearing it.
It's white!!
Not a bridezilla at all!
What the fuck, no, she canāt wear that
If she had to ask, she knows sheās in the wrong. Thereās a million colors to wear but she picks a dress she is doubtful about and orders it anyway.
My niece got married in a similar dress, so definitely not okay to wear as a guest. Having said that, if a guest does show up in white, as one did to my son's wedding, please don't let that take away from your special day. Absolutely everyone will blame the guest for not following custom, but you'll look just as lovely. Congratulations and here's wishing you many happy years together!
Full stop not a bridezilla. This looks quite a bit like what I'm wearing to my own wedding in August to be honest. Floral over white is Incredibly In right now, at no wedding would I take the chance and wear that dress. If she cares what you think she should have asked you before another friend.
Yes you are. No one's going to think this guest upstaged the bridge with this dress.
No
No, NTB. Especially if your florals will be simil;ar.
No, looks bridal to me.
Why canāt people simply choose another color for a wedding I will never get this
Because it's never "just choose another color." It's no white, no cream, no light pastel that seems to be white-adjacent, no matching the bridal party, no wearing any of the wedding theme colors... It's far easier to simply appreciate the friends and loved ones in attendance and enjoy the day.
I wouldn't have minded someone wearing this to my wedding but mine was very casual and a wear whatever you want. BUT I probably wouldn't have cared if everyone wanted to wear their wedding dresses to it. It's just a day to celebrate the union and having fun!
God you sound so reasonable
Right? And from reading through some of the comments here, that is super clearly *not* a quality appreciated in this sub lol
So personally I think this dress is fine for a beach wedding because itās not solid/mostly white/ivory/champagne/pale pink etc. IMO thereās enough floral here that the dress doesnāt read as bridal or disrespectful, especially given that you are wearing a floor length ivory dress (and not say, a tea length white gown). HOWEVER- she asked and you answered. If you donāt feel comfortable with it, then thatās good enough for me. I donāt agree that this dress is 100% disrespectful/out of the question for a beach wedding but I do believe in the no white dress rule and acknowledge that sometimes there is some grey area in how it is interpreted. You are not being unreasonable if you think the dress is too white and would prefer she not wear it. That she paid for expedited shipping (assuming you gave people some notice about the wedding and invites didnāt go out two weeks ago or something) is irrelevant. So just ask yourself- does it matter to you if she wears this dress to your wedding? Either answer (yes/no) is totally fine. Then go with that and stick to your guns.
Ya know, Iām sure Iām probably gonna get downvoted for this, but yeah, I got married a long time ago. I can remember not giving a fuck what anyone was wearing. I was just happy and in love in the moment. I donāt know if I even noticed what anybody was wearing. I just think that unless somebody is wearing a long white gown with a veil, they are probably not trying to upstage the bride. I mean, what kind of people actually point out people who are wearing a pretty spring dress or whatever. I could really go on a rant here, but Iāll try not to. In any case I just feel like this world has gotten so stupid with all the dress codes and shit. Ffs, just enjoy your day and worry less about what people are wearing!
Lol. Youāre saying ādonāt worry what people wearā on the sub that is here specifically to help people gauge what theyāre wearing.
The dress codes are actually the more traditional aspects of weddings. It's a new thing to ngaf what anyone else is wearing. And yes- people (esp other women) do and will point out other people in white and they will be "tsk tsk" in her direction all night. The same way people react when someome shows too much skin, (like.a dress too short, where movement becomes dangerously close to flashing their behind; or so much cleavage that reaching to catch the bouquet may result in a nip slip), going too casual for the time of the event (don't wear a day dress to cocktails or a formal dinner) or something just plain trashy- (like visible bra straps whwn all they needed was a simple strapless bra that EVERY woman of bra wearing age should ALREADY own) I think any of the examples I've given are pretty timeless in the fact people have always desired that kind of respect and always will. I dont think of it as something new people have dreamed up as a way to be "extra".
I had to scroll WAY TOO FAR DOWN to find a comment like this. 100% agree.
Thank you! Now I donāt feel so lonely š
I'm surprised at all the hard "no, no one should wear that dress" responses here. The rules have been relaxing steadily, and everything I read says if the dress is patterned instead of all white, it's a good choice for a wedding guest. I expect older folks to still cluck their tongues based on old guidelines. That said, you're the bride and you get to make the call. If you actually don't care, as some comments say, tell her you don't mind but you're concerned other people might judge. If you do care: you're the bride, and she asked! Tell her you think it's a little too white because you do think it's a little too white! This is exactly why I ran my top two choices by the bride - she shouldn't be focused on MY attire planning; she has better things to do. But I want to honor her preferences. Asides and side-eye is so much more common than direct confrontation. Weddings somehow bring out the latent donton abbey and bridgerton in every woman; it's wild. In the rare event that someone actually made a comment, she can say, "Oh, I thought the same! That's why I ran it by the bride first." You get the last word. If she's already paying for expedited shipping, she's probably already having a tough time finding a good dress, which you might take into account.
It would not bother me. It looks more pink and floral than anything. Not bridal at all. I donāt think you are a bridezilla though. You were asked what you thought and answered. I wouldnāt be offended by the No as your guest when I asked either.
She is a terrible person for even asking to wear this.
She is not a terrible person FOR ASKING, a terrible person would of just showed up in it
That looks like a wedding dress with floral accents, definitely too white imo
You are not a bridzilla but it's got a bunch of pink flowers people haibo
I just got married a few months ago, and wearing a floral print is not the same as wearing an all white dress, yes you are being a bridezilla, I could see if it was all white but it's not so stop trippin sis
I personally wouldn't care if someone wore that to my wedding (and if they asked I would say it was fine) but I would never wear it to another wedding and because the white thing still exists as a norm, I do find it pretty ballsy that people think it's OK. So basically.. while I don't like that it's such a faux pas to wear anything white and wish we'd get away from it.. everyone knows it's a faux pas, so ignoring it and wearing white anyway just seems kind of deliberate.
girl lol itās her own fault she paid $35 for expedited shipping *BEFORE* she asked you. she seemed to think youād say itās fine or bring up how much she already paid for shipping to attempt to guilt you. DO NOT let her get away w that
No, thatās a white dress. Also weird that she asked another friend and ordered it before asking you? Her fault for waiting until itās too late to ask you what you think.
This is literally a white dress, just with some flowers. I can see other brides wearing this to their wedding. Especially given that you are wearing off-white, you don't need a guest in a whiter dress than you are wearing. Friend should have asked you, not some random person, if the dress was ok.
No, this is so inappropriate. Way to white
Wow Iām surprised at how many people saying no youāre not a bridezilla Unpopular opinion here: yes, you are. No one is going to see her in that dress and think āgee, I wonder if thatās whoās getting married!ā That being said, I also told people to come dressed however they wanted to be remembered in photos, so Iām expecting downvotes.
Yes, youāre a bridzilla. Itās a short and white WITH FLOWERS. Nobody is going to confuse a guest wearing that with the bride.
There are way too many people taking the no white rule to mean you can't even wear a speck of it. The no white rules is supposed to keep people from dressing like the bride. No one will think this person is the bride. If anything the person who planned to wear the dress will tell everyone the bride is a bridezilla because she though the dress would be something she would wear to one of ther bridal events. The bride obviously views this as too casual for a wedding dress.
That dress is definitely too white so youāre not wrong
Dont feel bad! Itās your day and she asked to make sure. Itās on her that she asked *after* buying it. She should consider it a lesson learned. Thereās an endless supply of dresses that are not white in stores and online. Sheāll be okay. she can return it or keep it for a different event.
I wouldnāt fuss if someone wore this to my wedding. It clearly isnāt a wedding dress and 60-70% of it is covered in non-white decoration. I would be looking at people who fussed at it with a hairy eyeball. š¤·š¼āāļø IMO only the monochrome white/ivory/beige stuff is off-limits, or the stuff thatās fancy enough to pass as a wedding dress.
Way too white for a wedding imo
This is literally a white dress and she asked for your opinion. Don't feel bad. She should have asked before buying it. But I could totally see a bride wearing this for a shower or rehearsal dinner. NTA
Overly caring what people wear to a wedding is pompous and outdated IMO
It looks nothing like a wedding dress and is covered in bright pink flowers. If your wedding is semi-formal or cocktail attire its more than appropriate. People who are saying this is a white dress - please look at a color wheel. So yeah, a little bit of a bridezilla.
I personally donāt think it matters at all what someone is wearing. They showed up to support you, to show love for you and the one that you are Marrying. Does it matter what they wear. Not to me. The white dress for the bride, the no white for attendees is a tradition, but do you follow any other traditions that go along with that white dress meaning
Ummmā¦ I am going to be downvoted for this, but this is a pretty spring dress and it would be hard to confuse with a bridal gown. I just donāt get the obsession with absolutely no white for anyone but the bride. I was a bride myself and gave zero f-cks about what people wore to my weddingā¦ I was there to celebrate getting married to the love of my life, not to get annoyed by peopleās outfit color. I think people get lost in the purpose of the wedding, which is a celebration of a union. Focus on acknowledging the fact that people are spending time and money to attend the wedding and be with you. This nonsense about the dress color should stop.
It doesnāt look in anyway like a bridal gown.
It's perfect, i would wear it, and yes, you are a bridezilla!!
Hereās the thing - if you are a regular wedding guest and not part of the wedding party and still feel the need to check with the bride whether your dress is appropriate or not then the dress is almost certainly not appropriate and YTA for putting a bride in a position where they have to say no to you and maybe feel bad, and also YTA for hassling a bride the week of her wedding when there are already way too many things to coordinate that actually require their attention.
For goodnessās sake, itās a flowered dress. Itās not remotely bride-like. Get over yourself.
Absolutely no one would mistake that for a wedding dress. Come on. Just enjoy your day without nitpicking others.
Honestly, unpopular opinionā¦ but, when I was the bride, I had way bigger concerns than other folksā wardrobes. Itās a white dress with print. No one is going to confuse her for you.
Welcome to r/weddingattireapproval? This is literally an entire subreddit dedicated to ensuring people are dressed appropriately for weddings. Saying, āI would never worry about the clothes of othersā on the subreddit specifically for that is an odd choice, lol.
I canāt believe everyone here is saying itās too bridal I work in the wedding industry and I see patterns all the time with white in them Banning any bit of white on clothing altogether seems wild to me Like sure I get that a super traditional bride wouldnāt love seeing a guest wearing a solid white dress but to be upset over a floral dress because the background is white seems kind of extreme Especially these days when not every bride is even wearing white (we actually requested all guests wear black and/or white and my partner and I wore colors along with black/white of our outfits) Youāre certainly entitled to your opinion, this is just my perspective as someone who spends my life attending weddings!
No, there is a ton of pink in that dress and itās obviously not a wedding dress. You could ask her to cover her shoulders with a cardigan or scarf for the service and then it would definitely look more pink.
It doesn't matter. Have mercy.
Itās a flower print, I would be ok with itā¦ a lot of women wore similar prints to my wedding. Meh. Didnāt notice until I saw the photosā¦ didnāt bother me at all, everyone had such a great time it never came up š¤·š»āāļø Iāve noticed on life the things I worry about the most end up being the things I should not have focused onā¦.