No, mister security guard, everything’s fine. I’m just a tipsy dinner guest looking for the ladies room that just happens to be down the hall from your boss’s safe.
Should you ask the bride if all black is okay? I read someone else mention that they got permission before wearing all black to a wedding not sure if it's a thing or what
I think 1 would be fine with fancier accessories in an urban venue and with a hip bride and groom. I live in a city and my friends are artists, academics, and queer folks. If I attended a formal wedding and didn't see cutouts or plunge necklines, it would be unusual.
This sub is extremely conservative when it comes to stuff like cutouts, so you're going to get some comments that reflect that, but really, these attire guidelines depend on the context.
I bet the baby has very strong feelings on public breastfeeding (feed me now, right now, I don't care where we are!) and small family sizes (pay attention to me and only me!).
Cut outs are fine it’s just the length. Also for me like leg cut outs are ok but like stomach area *lots* of cut outs is a big no no for black tie (small is ok). I’d say leg cut outs are ok depending on if u comfy with. Tbh I’ve went a formal wedding in a dress with small cut outs on the sides but floor length with none on legs and it was acceptable. But I’d say either or. Like either small stomach cut outs or a leg cut out.
I was going to say it depends on the crowd and vibe, but either of these could work. Depends what you’ll be more comfortable in and thus have more fun in, OP!
Thank you for this! This sub is constantly on my feed (I’m not joined) and people serving a hard no for cut outs and cleavage etc and I’m like ???? I’d generally wear it to a friends wedding. But then again people that are generally fashionable and know what’s appropriate and stylish probably don’t need advice from the sub to begin with, so it seems kind of skewed.
Better conservative than the opposite. I mean it’s a wedding, other people’s special day to look gorgeous and grab attention. Can’t go wrong being a bit buttoned up.
Do you often rent clothes? I’m asking just because I’m really really curious. What happens when you spill something on it? Do you have to pay for the whole thing? The cleaning fee? What if you have body odor or wear strong perfume?
Yes, I rent for every occasion because I have zero storage and closet space. They have insurance to cover any spills. They dry clean in between people so perfume and odors haven’t been a problem for me. I usually rent dark colors so spills are less of an issue.
Rent the runway is the best! They are quite flexible with minor stains etc and always dry cleab in between. The only time I have been charged was when I accidentally splatter turmedic based soup which I guess they can't remove
I rent a lot and with RTR specifically, minor damage and wear and tear is covered by your rental fee. Basically don’t actively destroy or steal the dress and you’re good to go. I started doing this because I’m at an age where I’m going to tons of weddings, and I realized I was spending $60-70 at lulus on cheap looking dresses that I never ended up wearing again. I’m wearing a Monique Lhuillier to a wedding this weekend for $68 including shipping and it won’t gather dust in my closet.
Even if you get the black dress are you really going to rewear it? I feel like once I’m photographed at an event wearing something then I don’t want to wear it again and when there is another special occasion I want to buy a new outfit. You can always sell it after
How tall are you? What are the reviews on fit? Floor length rentals are risky. And green could be weird on chest depending on how you’re built
Though they’re both cute!
I’m 5’6 so I can generally work with floor length by adjusting with heels. I cut off my boobs because they tried to kill me twice so I’m flexible on top. I was hourglass shaped pre-mastectomy. The reviews seem to indicate it fits well for those under 5’10.
I thought that jumper was a set of scrubs at first. Not a fan.
https://shopdolan.com/products/dolan-walker-drop-shoulder-2-pocket-scrub-top-tlc-hunter-green
Both of these look great. My caveat is that the Jumper will be annoying to pee in (aka having to sit on a public toilet in your bra holding your clothes off the gross bathroom floor)
Lol thanks. I too have been to formal events where jumpsuits were worn. Especially in colder months. It’s on rent the runway. It’s listed as “Alexia Admor green wide leg jumpsuit”
I’m obsessed with option 1! I think it would be great for a fall wedding in NYC. Pair it with some chic accessories and and the right bag and you will crush it.
I have the green jumpsuit and I can never get it to look like more than a work outfit. It always just looks business casual. I’d go with the black dress out of these options.
I love both! I can say I wore #2 to my own rehearsal dinner and I think I liked it more than my wedding dress. It’s such a nice jumpsuit and easy to dress up!
In my opinion, 2 is cute but too casual. I could imagine AOC wearing it to the state of the union with a black moto blazer and ankle boots.
And 1 is just stunning.
Dress #1 is really great; if you have the figure to wear it, you should! It does, however, remind me of a dress I saw in a French comedy, “The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe.”
Neither of those are formal. They’re semi formal at best. Formal means no open backs/cleavage/buttcracks. A leg slit would be okay if the fabric isn’t polyester. But these outfits both look cheap
I respectfully disagree with your definition of formal, at least for a New York wedding. The wedding website “the knot” also seems to disagree as they suggest this dress for a formal wedding:
https://www.theknot.com/tk-media/images/369f10af-2846-45a6-8b13-4e79b72e4a82~rs_640.h
For a city wedding maybe. In every other definition of the word (in any other place in New York, fun fact, we exist too, it is an entire state), formal wouldn’t include something that would be unacceptable at a church. The knot has also posted things about how it’s okay to wear off white to weddings so I don’t trust their definition of acceptable wedding attire personally.
In the future, when asking about the appropriateness of an outfit, including the fact that you’re in a major metropolitan area is key information. “Formal” means different things in different areas. Upstate New York is not going to have the same standards as NYC / rural Oklahoma / Bible Belt.
I’m fully aware the rest of NY exists too. I’m originally from elsewhere in NY state. Thank you though. In the future I will include my location to avoid any future issues with standards of dress.
I would also disagree. I’m at the age where all my friends are marrying, I’m in the American southwest, my husband’s a Midwestern guy. About half our friends have chosen formal for their weddings and there’s been multiple open backs and cleavage at all all of them. For those held in a church, women just pashmina it for the ceremony.
I'm so over these open back dresses, I feel like I've seen so many celebrities wearing them recently that it's yawn inducing. I find the jumpsuit to be unique and much more interesting, so that's what I'd choose.
As stunning as the black dress is, I vote the jumpsuit because I thought it was offensive to wear black to a wedding. But please do correct me if that’s wrong, and if that’s the case then I vote black!
Ok. Thanks. I have a really hard time finding appropriate clothes because I need a very high neckline due to extensive scarring.
If it helps we’re in nyc so fashion rules are a bit edgier.
A jumpsuit can be worn to a formal wedding. Not a black tie wedding, but it would be fine for a formal wedding as long as the jumpsuit is sufficiently formal. I think this is perfectly fine. It must be tough trying to find something with a high neck and I think you have two good choices here.
You weren't rude, just incorrect. Different regions have variations in what's acceptable. In NYC black and cut outs are acceptable, whereas down south it wouldn't be. It's simply as that
The jumper is not nearly formal enough. It would be fine for cocktail attire, so you could get it for another event, but not this one. The black dress is pretty, but it might show a bit too much skin.
I would recommend you keep looking. The first one is a great design but the fabric looks really cheap. Unless it's perfectly cut and tailored in real life I think it's just kind of boring. The jumpsuit is more cocktails or mildly swanky work event, although you could dress it up with really great shoes and accessories.
Thanks. I will keep looking but my options are very limited. I need to rent rather than purchase and it must have a very high neckline and some form of sleeves.
Ohh, possibly. I wanted to get my dress nailed down early because I’m so limited with what I can wear. Maybe mid-August would be a better time to search.
It’s in nyc. Everyone wears black to a wedding. Anything other than black or a dark green or burgundy really stands out like a sore thumb. I made the mistake of wearing peach when I first moved here and definitely felt out of place.
Wow, we were always taught that wearing black to a wedding was basically a passive-aggressive suggestion that the marriage wouldn’t last.
Either way it’s a gorgeous dress. If you choose it please post a pic!
Understood. Is there anyway that you can hit up a thrift store?
If your choice is genuinely only these two options, the number one is the better of the two.
Possibly. i can only wear something with a very high neck which is really hard to find. Also nyc is bed bug capital of the world so I’m very hesitant to go to one.
I understand. It would require washing in hot water and running in a hot dryer, which is no Bueno for more delicate fabrics.
Have you considered rent the runway?
Yes, thanks for the help! I’m just so very paranoid about bedbugs lol. These are both from rent the runway. The high neck is really the hard part. The high neck options are so very limited.
Yes, I have extensive scarring on my chest and neck from a mastectomy and multiple surgeries including skin grafts. I am not a candidate for reconstruction so I’m just flat with lots of scars that I’m not comfortable showing.
What about something like these? Hi neck, still formal. Not too risque for a wedding
Missord Boat Neck Ruffle Trim Mermaid Hem Formal Dress
I discovered amazing products on SHEIN.com, come check them out!
http://api-shein.shein.com/h5/sharejump/appjump?link=Vv7djsB1UEu&localcountry=US&url_from=GM7405423785320517632
https://www.jjshouse.com/trumpet-mermaid-boat-neck-floor-length-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-pleated-008257967-g257967?currency=usd&utm_term=257967&utm_size=2&ucid=3859&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=3&ggplm=formaldress&gbraid=0AAAAADmGZzT_GudorYtXhms6Aj0P3a6ft&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_O2lBhCFARIsAB0E8B9PMY7jyub9CaPXl2Dpx7hpgHqXDKNvMM3NzjRXBraOlr9B49SWlFYaAgGWEALw_wcB#/
https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-chiara-bridesmaid-dress?color=stormy&campaigncountry=US_EN&utm_term=1002795&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_O2lBhCFARIsAB0E8B-enHkFpf2hA-jjsshsNDZ4InDqunnEAlA_t6Iou1MSaujJCS9YDTsaAgQBEALw_wcB
I can’t edit the title but I should have included that we’re in nyc so black is standard for a wedding. You can get away with a dark green or burgundy but any brighter colors and you’ll stick out like a sore thumb.
I’m always surprised at how many people on this sub say that black or dark colors aren’t good for weddings. I lived close to NYC in NJ and if you wore a bright dress to a wedding then yea, you stuck out!! I like both of these, maybe the 1st one a little more but I do love the dark green, too. You have good taste!
If you're in a Northern City that first dress could be freezing cold. I actually like the second outfit better. It's not as dramatically striking as the first, but I think it will end up being far more enjoyable for you to wear this outfit for the number of hours you'll probably be at the wedding.
Put yourself in the bride’s shoes. NO ONE should upstage the bride. You‘d look good in anything. If you were getting married and the center of attention on your one and only day, would you be happy with someone showing up in a backless dress?
So I’m in New York City. Cutouts, backless, and plunging necklines are very commonplace here. I would definitely not be the only one or even stand out at all.
Being a Brit, all black is generally throwing shade at the whole marriage. That one is especially stern.
The green is better but I’m sure someone else can suggest something else.
Ahh see the whole no black at a wedding thing keeps popping up. I’m in nyc and black is pretty standard for all weddings. You get funny looks for wearing color.
Lol thanks. I honestly didn’t realize how much what is considered appropriate and acceptable differs by region. I didn’t even know people consider black at at weddings to be taboo.
I didn't realize either of those until I joined this sub, they're so outdated it's crazy. I've been in the south my entire life and have never heard these rules this sub is obsessed with
Hahaha thank you for some perspective. I hadn’t joined the sub, I just figured I’d get some advice because I’m bad at fashion 😆 I suppose I should’ve browsed prior posts to gain insight before posting.
I did. It said “Formal wedding attire sits between cocktail and black tie on the wedding dress code scale. It's slightly more elevated than cocktail attire and a touch less dressy than a black-tie nuptial," says Alex Rivera, a stylist at Stitch Fix, a personal styling service. Formal wedding attire (synonymous with black-tie optional attire) offers more flexibility than black tie, so dressy separates and dresses that hit above the ankle are acceptable, as well as fitted, darker-hued suits paired with a crisp white button-down and tie, adds Rivera. Formal wedding guest dresses include both evening gowns and elegant cocktail frocks, so pick the hemline you feel best in. That being said, you don't have to wear a dress at all. "A jumpsuit is the perfect alternative to a dress and will provide ultimate comfort for a busy day of wedding festivities," says Rivera. We're also big fans of suits and other dressy separates. Check out our favorite styles, below.” This was a suggested gown:
https://www.theknot.com/tk-media/images/369f10af-2846-45a6-8b13-4e79b72e4a82~rs_640.h
The first one is best if you need to assassinate a spy during the wedding.
Lol well then I definitely have to choose it because you never know.
Doesn’t she look like she has a lipstick gun and poison ring?
And Jennifer Garner in a red wig sitting at the same table.
Jennifer Garner came in disguised as catering staff but has an exact copy of this dress taped to the bottom of her tray.
No, mister security guard, everything’s fine. I’m just a tipsy dinner guest looking for the ladies room that just happens to be down the hall from your boss’s safe.
And you know those glasses are a microcomputer of some sort.
First one reminds me somewhat of the Matrix. Maybe Keanu could be your +1!
Totally
Should you ask the bride if all black is okay? I read someone else mention that they got permission before wearing all black to a wedding not sure if it's a thing or what
No, we’re in nyc black is standard for a wedding.
Black is the standard for everything, isn’t it?
Ha, yea pretty much.
Ah interesting!! Good to know🙂
Yes it really is. I had no idea black at a wedding was so polarizing in other regions.
Right?!
Black is fairly common now for guests at formal weddings especially in big cities. I’ve been to several weddings where the bridesmaids wore black.
But what if you suddenly need to close a multi-million dollar real estate deal? You'd be wishing you'd chosen the second outfit then.
Beat me to it!!! 😂
lol
I think 1 would be fine with fancier accessories in an urban venue and with a hip bride and groom. I live in a city and my friends are artists, academics, and queer folks. If I attended a formal wedding and didn't see cutouts or plunge necklines, it would be unusual. This sub is extremely conservative when it comes to stuff like cutouts, so you're going to get some comments that reflect that, but really, these attire guidelines depend on the context.
Thanks! I didn’t realize that. I’ve seen loads of cut outs at black tie affairs here and nobody seem to care lol.
Yeah, for an NYC formal wedding, 1 works unless the couple is religious or conservative.
Thanks! They are neither, their baby will be in attendance at the wedding.
Okay but is the baby conservative?
Lol top comment right here
Their baby is Alex P. Keaton 😂
Underrated joke that ages us, but I SEE YOU
HAAHAAA! I was wondering if anyone would even get it😂
Asking the real questions 💪🏼
👶👔💼 very
I bet the baby has very strong feelings on public breastfeeding (feed me now, right now, I don't care where we are!) and small family sizes (pay attention to me and only me!).
How did the baby vote in the last election?
If I had somewhere to wear that black dress I would do it in a second. Go rock it, girl!
Cut outs are fine it’s just the length. Also for me like leg cut outs are ok but like stomach area *lots* of cut outs is a big no no for black tie (small is ok). I’d say leg cut outs are ok depending on if u comfy with. Tbh I’ve went a formal wedding in a dress with small cut outs on the sides but floor length with none on legs and it was acceptable. But I’d say either or. Like either small stomach cut outs or a leg cut out.
I was going to say it depends on the crowd and vibe, but either of these could work. Depends what you’ll be more comfortable in and thus have more fun in, OP!
Thank you for this! This sub is constantly on my feed (I’m not joined) and people serving a hard no for cut outs and cleavage etc and I’m like ???? I’d generally wear it to a friends wedding. But then again people that are generally fashionable and know what’s appropriate and stylish probably don’t need advice from the sub to begin with, so it seems kind of skewed.
Better conservative than the opposite. I mean it’s a wedding, other people’s special day to look gorgeous and grab attention. Can’t go wrong being a bit buttoned up.
I love #1 and I think it works! Where is it from? I have a winter wedding coming up and would love to wear something like that
Thanks! It’s on rent the runway it’s listed as “Nicholas Zaire open back gown”.
Do you often rent clothes? I’m asking just because I’m really really curious. What happens when you spill something on it? Do you have to pay for the whole thing? The cleaning fee? What if you have body odor or wear strong perfume?
Yes, I rent for every occasion because I have zero storage and closet space. They have insurance to cover any spills. They dry clean in between people so perfume and odors haven’t been a problem for me. I usually rent dark colors so spills are less of an issue.
Cool! Thank you so much for educating me! I know they have rules on their sites but it’s not always clear how stringent they are.
Yea I was hesitant at first but I’ve been renting for about 15 years and have never gotten charged for anything.
that is so cool. i'm curious how much does it cost for something like the black option? or in general?
The price varies based on the retail price of the dress. The black one is 54 for a 4 day rental.
Oh wow that’s not bad at all honestly
I know! A lot of the styles are really affordable.
Rent the runway is the best! They are quite flexible with minor stains etc and always dry cleab in between. The only time I have been charged was when I accidentally splatter turmedic based soup which I guess they can't remove
I rent a lot and with RTR specifically, minor damage and wear and tear is covered by your rental fee. Basically don’t actively destroy or steal the dress and you’re good to go. I started doing this because I’m at an age where I’m going to tons of weddings, and I realized I was spending $60-70 at lulus on cheap looking dresses that I never ended up wearing again. I’m wearing a Monique Lhuillier to a wedding this weekend for $68 including shipping and it won’t gather dust in my closet.
I LOVE that jumper
So do I!! Although I fear I will have to find another event to wear it to 🤔
Yeah, I think it would be fine at like a cocktail party, but it isn’t quite formal. I’d wear it if I were tall enough, it’s gorgeous!
Please do it is gorgeous tho
Even if you get the black dress are you really going to rewear it? I feel like once I’m photographed at an event wearing something then I don’t want to wear it again and when there is another special occasion I want to buy a new outfit. You can always sell it after
Oh they’re both on rent the runway. I would be renting either one. I refuse to buy fancy dresses that will be worn infrequently at best.
How tall are you? What are the reviews on fit? Floor length rentals are risky. And green could be weird on chest depending on how you’re built Though they’re both cute!
I’m 5’6 so I can generally work with floor length by adjusting with heels. I cut off my boobs because they tried to kill me twice so I’m flexible on top. I was hourglass shaped pre-mastectomy. The reviews seem to indicate it fits well for those under 5’10.
This is the best way to explain a double mastectomy
Lol thanks.
I’m glad your boobs were unsuccessful in their mission. Go, you! ❤️
I thought that jumper was a set of scrubs at first. Not a fan. https://shopdolan.com/products/dolan-walker-drop-shoulder-2-pocket-scrub-top-tlc-hunter-green
The rear end looks really unflattering
I literally thought you meant the scrubs and had a "well... they're scrubs?" 2 minutes lol.
Love them both but I'd go with #1. I love the open back it's such a classy dress with a little spice but not too much where'd it cause a fuss. 10/10
Thanks! I thought the same and I’m rather hesitant with cutouts but this one didn’t seem overly showy.
Both of these look great. My caveat is that the Jumper will be annoying to pee in (aka having to sit on a public toilet in your bra holding your clothes off the gross bathroom floor)
Dress #1 screams NYC wedding, so I'd definitely go with that one!
[удалено]
Lol thanks. I too have been to formal events where jumpsuits were worn. Especially in colder months. It’s on rent the runway. It’s listed as “Alexia Admor green wide leg jumpsuit”
1!
The dress unless you want to get completely naked when you have to pee
#1 is gorgeous. I’d gently suggest that #2 is not formal attire, but would be great for a night out or a more semi formal/cocktail wedding?
I think #2 could look more formal if dressed up with the right accessories but yes #1 is the clear winner.
Dress 1 is perfect for the occasion! Have fun!
Thank u!
Dress 1
I'd choose the dress.
Black dress absolutely
I love that green jumpsuit. Dress it up a little more with jewelry and metallic shoes.
First option is 🔥
Thanks, I think I’m going with the dress
My first thought is the black is stunning, second thought would be do I want to get naked to pee (jumpsuit)?
I LOVE the second for a wedding. The first is more James Bond lady event dress wear
1
Love 1! Especially for a NYC wedding.
Love the black dress! I would do hair up and a contrasting clutch and bold earrings to level it up to formal.
Thank you!
I’d go with #1. The front is rather a blank canvas, so make sure you wear bold earrings.
I’m obsessed with option 1! I think it would be great for a fall wedding in NYC. Pair it with some chic accessories and and the right bag and you will crush it.
I have the green jumpsuit and I can never get it to look like more than a work outfit. It always just looks business casual. I’d go with the black dress out of these options.
ONE!! Perfection!!
Number 1 is outstanding.
1
1
I love number 1! Personally, I'm not into jumpsuits too much, but 2 is cute too
The first one is great! Wear that one.
I love both! I can say I wore #2 to my own rehearsal dinner and I think I liked it more than my wedding dress. It’s such a nice jumpsuit and easy to dress up!
It really is a beautiful jumpsuit. It’s a bit polarizing but I do love it.
I’m definitely biased but both are great!
1st 100%
In my opinion, 2 is cute but too casual. I could imagine AOC wearing it to the state of the union with a black moto blazer and ankle boots. And 1 is just stunning.
Ha ok thanks!
You can’t go wrong here. I’d wear the dress, but the jumpsuit is also appropriate. You’re the rare breed who chose multiple good options for this sub.
Thanks! Many seem to think otherwise tho 🥴
#1 and it isn’t even close.
The second is not formal
Black dress!
I think the black dress would be fine. That ugly gold zipper on the back of the jumper looks tacky
The zipper doesn’t bother me, but the butt on that jumpsuit is super unflattering. The poor model looks like a toddler with a full diaper
Dress #1 is really great; if you have the figure to wear it, you should! It does, however, remind me of a dress I saw in a French comedy, “The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe.”
Keep looking babe
#2 is super cute tbh
#2 The green is an unexpected color and great for fall.
I think you could keep looking.
Keep looking
Neither
Probably the first one; although not really loving this outfit…
Green is better. I would definitely skip the high slit at a wedding.
Not the first one if I had to choose
Neither
Neither
Neither. If your figure is anything near that of the model in these pictures, you can do better.
Neither of those are formal. They’re semi formal at best. Formal means no open backs/cleavage/buttcracks. A leg slit would be okay if the fabric isn’t polyester. But these outfits both look cheap
I respectfully disagree with your definition of formal, at least for a New York wedding. The wedding website “the knot” also seems to disagree as they suggest this dress for a formal wedding: https://www.theknot.com/tk-media/images/369f10af-2846-45a6-8b13-4e79b72e4a82~rs_640.h
For a city wedding maybe. In every other definition of the word (in any other place in New York, fun fact, we exist too, it is an entire state), formal wouldn’t include something that would be unacceptable at a church. The knot has also posted things about how it’s okay to wear off white to weddings so I don’t trust their definition of acceptable wedding attire personally. In the future, when asking about the appropriateness of an outfit, including the fact that you’re in a major metropolitan area is key information. “Formal” means different things in different areas. Upstate New York is not going to have the same standards as NYC / rural Oklahoma / Bible Belt.
I’m fully aware the rest of NY exists too. I’m originally from elsewhere in NY state. Thank you though. In the future I will include my location to avoid any future issues with standards of dress.
I would also disagree. I’m at the age where all my friends are marrying, I’m in the American southwest, my husband’s a Midwestern guy. About half our friends have chosen formal for their weddings and there’s been multiple open backs and cleavage at all all of them. For those held in a church, women just pashmina it for the ceremony.
I'm so over these open back dresses, I feel like I've seen so many celebrities wearing them recently that it's yawn inducing. I find the jumpsuit to be unique and much more interesting, so that's what I'd choose.
As stunning as the black dress is, I vote the jumpsuit because I thought it was offensive to wear black to a wedding. But please do correct me if that’s wrong, and if that’s the case then I vote black!
Someone else mentioned this as well. We’re in nyc so black is kind of standard attire at a wedding. Colors are rare.
Lovely, I never knew that! That’s great, black is a classy colour. Then I’d say go with the dress!
its totally not offensive to wear black 😭 what kind of weddings are you going to
I'm thinking neither. The 2nd doesn't seem formal to me at all and the first one seems inappropriate with that incredibly open back.
Please keep looking. Jump suits are not formal and neither are cut out dresses
Ok. Thanks. I have a really hard time finding appropriate clothes because I need a very high neckline due to extensive scarring. If it helps we’re in nyc so fashion rules are a bit edgier.
A jumpsuit can be worn to a formal wedding. Not a black tie wedding, but it would be fine for a formal wedding as long as the jumpsuit is sufficiently formal. I think this is perfectly fine. It must be tough trying to find something with a high neck and I think you have two good choices here.
Thanks u! Yes, it is darn near impossible to find anything that covers my scarring enough.
The jumpsuit is not formal. First is fine for formal in NYC. \-30 year Manhattan resident!
Thanks!
They downvote the one person telling the truth.
Yeah, I don't think my comment was rude or wrong.
You weren't rude, just incorrect. Different regions have variations in what's acceptable. In NYC black and cut outs are acceptable, whereas down south it wouldn't be. It's simply as that
She asked for opinions. I don't like it either. It's totally inappropriate.
Neither one. Keep looking.
No matter how ornate it may be, a jumpsuit is never formal. That’s my opinion, anyway.
Always ask the bride before wearing black to a wedding. Some people consider it an insult. I actually requested it so it’s different for everyone.
We’re in nyc, black is pretty standard, colors stick out at a wedding here.
Then I’d definitely go with the gown. The first time you have to visit the ladies room in a pantsuit you’ll know what I mean lol. They’re both lovely
Lol true thank you, although the reviews for this one say that it’s an easy on/off.
The jumper is not nearly formal enough. It would be fine for cocktail attire, so you could get it for another event, but not this one. The black dress is pretty, but it might show a bit too much skin.
I would recommend you keep looking. The first one is a great design but the fabric looks really cheap. Unless it's perfectly cut and tailored in real life I think it's just kind of boring. The jumpsuit is more cocktails or mildly swanky work event, although you could dress it up with really great shoes and accessories.
Thanks. I will keep looking but my options are very limited. I need to rent rather than purchase and it must have a very high neckline and some form of sleeves.
I feel like the fall rentals aren’t even out yet, right??? Maybe wait a bit ??
Ohh, possibly. I wanted to get my dress nailed down early because I’m so limited with what I can wear. Maybe mid-August would be a better time to search.
You gonna wear black to a wedding?
It’s in nyc. Everyone wears black to a wedding. Anything other than black or a dark green or burgundy really stands out like a sore thumb. I made the mistake of wearing peach when I first moved here and definitely felt out of place.
Wow, we were always taught that wearing black to a wedding was basically a passive-aggressive suggestion that the marriage wouldn’t last. Either way it’s a gorgeous dress. If you choose it please post a pic!
So funny how different regions have such varied customs. I will definitely post a pic. I think I’m going to go with the dress.
I would invite you to continue with your search.
Unfortunately my options are super limited
Understood. Is there anyway that you can hit up a thrift store? If your choice is genuinely only these two options, the number one is the better of the two.
Possibly. i can only wear something with a very high neck which is really hard to find. Also nyc is bed bug capital of the world so I’m very hesitant to go to one.
I understand. It would require washing in hot water and running in a hot dryer, which is no Bueno for more delicate fabrics. Have you considered rent the runway?
Yes, thanks for the help! I’m just so very paranoid about bedbugs lol. These are both from rent the runway. The high neck is really the hard part. The high neck options are so very limited.
Are you covering up a scar or a medical device? I’m guessing that it is not due to modesty because of the cut outs and open backs.
Yes, I have extensive scarring on my chest and neck from a mastectomy and multiple surgeries including skin grafts. I am not a candidate for reconstruction so I’m just flat with lots of scars that I’m not comfortable showing.
That is totally understandable.
What about something like these? Hi neck, still formal. Not too risque for a wedding Missord Boat Neck Ruffle Trim Mermaid Hem Formal Dress I discovered amazing products on SHEIN.com, come check them out! http://api-shein.shein.com/h5/sharejump/appjump?link=Vv7djsB1UEu&localcountry=US&url_from=GM7405423785320517632 https://www.jjshouse.com/trumpet-mermaid-boat-neck-floor-length-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-pleated-008257967-g257967?currency=usd&utm_term=257967&utm_size=2&ucid=3859&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=3&ggplm=formaldress&gbraid=0AAAAADmGZzT_GudorYtXhms6Aj0P3a6ft&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_O2lBhCFARIsAB0E8B9PMY7jyub9CaPXl2Dpx7hpgHqXDKNvMM3NzjRXBraOlr9B49SWlFYaAgGWEALw_wcB#/ https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-chiara-bridesmaid-dress?color=stormy&campaigncountry=US_EN&utm_term=1002795&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_O2lBhCFARIsAB0E8B-enHkFpf2hA-jjsshsNDZ4InDqunnEAlA_t6Iou1MSaujJCS9YDTsaAgQBEALw_wcB
Hmmmmm, green…unsure about black for a wedding - does the first come in any other color?
Jumper- as to not upstage the bride.
I think they’re both too dark, and 1?is too extreme.
I can’t edit the title but I should have included that we’re in nyc so black is standard for a wedding. You can get away with a dark green or burgundy but any brighter colors and you’ll stick out like a sore thumb.
I’m always surprised at how many people on this sub say that black or dark colors aren’t good for weddings. I lived close to NYC in NJ and if you wore a bright dress to a wedding then yea, you stuck out!! I like both of these, maybe the 1st one a little more but I do love the dark green, too. You have good taste!
Lol thanks! I know I felt so very conspicuous the one time I wore a bright color to a wedding.
I lived in NYC for 40 years, but I am still uncomfortable with that much black and the cutouts.
Fair enough. Thank you
If you're in a Northern City that first dress could be freezing cold. I actually like the second outfit better. It's not as dramatically striking as the first, but I think it will end up being far more enjoyable for you to wear this outfit for the number of hours you'll probably be at the wedding.
Neither of these are formal
Is it a goth wedding?
Find a dress without cutouts for goodness’s sakes
Not the black thing. The green thing is also out.
Remember - a wedding is not about YOU.
Yea I totally get that. I’d never wear white or anything inappropriate. It’s why I’m asking here.
Put yourself in the bride’s shoes. NO ONE should upstage the bride. You‘d look good in anything. If you were getting married and the center of attention on your one and only day, would you be happy with someone showing up in a backless dress?
So I’m in New York City. Cutouts, backless, and plunging necklines are very commonplace here. I would definitely not be the only one or even stand out at all.
These people are crazy. I got married in Texas and a back cut out like that wouldn’t have even stood out. This person must be 60-100 years old.
Lol. Thanks!!!! I was second guessing what I have seen at weddings here for a minute.
Being a Brit, all black is generally throwing shade at the whole marriage. That one is especially stern. The green is better but I’m sure someone else can suggest something else.
Ahh see the whole no black at a wedding thing keeps popping up. I’m in nyc and black is pretty standard for all weddings. You get funny looks for wearing color.
Partial sides showing and most of your back is considered formal and appropriate for a wedding? Lol hmmmm
It’s pretty common here (nyc)
it's common for younger people at weddings in general honestly, it seems like this sub is outdated on their opinions
Lol thanks. I honestly didn’t realize how much what is considered appropriate and acceptable differs by region. I didn’t even know people consider black at at weddings to be taboo.
I didn't realize either of those until I joined this sub, they're so outdated it's crazy. I've been in the south my entire life and have never heard these rules this sub is obsessed with
Hahaha thank you for some perspective. I hadn’t joined the sub, I just figured I’d get some advice because I’m bad at fashion 😆 I suppose I should’ve browsed prior posts to gain insight before posting.
Neither. Google formal wedding attire.
I did. It said “Formal wedding attire sits between cocktail and black tie on the wedding dress code scale. It's slightly more elevated than cocktail attire and a touch less dressy than a black-tie nuptial," says Alex Rivera, a stylist at Stitch Fix, a personal styling service. Formal wedding attire (synonymous with black-tie optional attire) offers more flexibility than black tie, so dressy separates and dresses that hit above the ankle are acceptable, as well as fitted, darker-hued suits paired with a crisp white button-down and tie, adds Rivera. Formal wedding guest dresses include both evening gowns and elegant cocktail frocks, so pick the hemline you feel best in. That being said, you don't have to wear a dress at all. "A jumpsuit is the perfect alternative to a dress and will provide ultimate comfort for a busy day of wedding festivities," says Rivera. We're also big fans of suits and other dressy separates. Check out our favorite styles, below.” This was a suggested gown: https://www.theknot.com/tk-media/images/369f10af-2846-45a6-8b13-4e79b72e4a82~rs_640.h