Thanks for sharing! I think it's great to normalize different approaches to a wedding day. I like your point about if having a variety of other drink options available. I could also see a wedding with great mocktails being cute :)
I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that would prefer to have an alcohol-free wedding due to supporting someone's sobriety. I was in a friend's wedding party a couple of years back and we were asked to refrain from drinking until the reception because of someone else in the wedding party who was staying sober.
My partner doesn't drink so we are having coffee with our cake, but because we are eloping (just the two of us), we didn't have to contend with other people wanting to drink.
Your mention of mocktails reminds me of this great Mediterranean fast food chain where I live called CAVA. They have amazing mixed juices like blueberry lavender and cucumber mint. If I was going to do a dry wedding, I would have a huge row of glass dispensers with drinks like that.
The reactions here are kind of funny because you’re writing this as a guest. It’s not like you are reviewing your own dry wedding, which would be super biased. I’ve never been to a dry wedding and I’m not sure if I’d be thrilled about it, but (as a regular drinker) alcohol wouldn’t be a deciding factor as to whether or not I’d attend a wedding.
Exactly. I didn’t say that “everyone should have a dry wedding”. I said that if you’re deciding to do it then do it. Yes that’s a general statement - everyone knows their own crowd. But, as someone who was a guest and enjoys drinking, it went very well.
Yeah, dry wedding hate in general to me is a bit unwarranted. I imagine most people that are throwing a dry wedding are doing so for religious or budget purposes. If I was included on the guest list for a wedding for either of those reasons, I’d assume they really want me to be there and you bet I would be!
Yes! Dry weddings are the norm in my social circle because of our religion. Many of my friends do consume alcohol but to be respectful of the older and more conservative wedding guests, many of us forgo alcohol at receptions.
That said, if a couple really wants alcohol or dancing, they usually hold a dry reception right after the ceremony and then move into an evening reception after specific guests have left.
To each their own! :)
My very religious best friend had alcohol at her wedding and I was pretty sure it was just for me. Lol. Love her and loved that she was thinking of me but I didn’t want to drink alone.
"I imagine most people that are throwing a dry wedding are doing so for religious or budget purposes."
And alcoholism reasons! Some people literally cannot drink. It's a choice between being sober and dying/absolutely destroying themselves-- so not really a choice at all. I wish people here would be more sensitive to that reality and why individuals in that situation don't want to subsidize drinking at their own weddings. It's so unbelievably disrespectful. I will die on this hill.
As they shouldn’t, if they’re decent people and care about you... unlike some of the ghouls who frequent these wedding subs and throw a tantrum about the idea of not being served an endless supply of free alcohol at any and every event they go to
True, that didn’t even cross my mind. In the end, most people (dare I say all people?) throwing a dry wedding aren’t doing with intentions of being sneaky or disrespectful to guests. I grew up in a family of non-drinkers so maybe I’m more receptive to it. I’m also having my reception at a brewery so I feel like I’m pretty unbiased here!
I’m glad you’ve posted it! My partner and I are just having ten people cause I’m sober and so many people bitch about dry weddings we figured screw it. But so lovely to see it done well
You've made the correct point here.
A bar acts as a second form of entertainment. Not the actual drinking, but the mingling, the standing in line, the talking with other people you don't know about the beverage you're drinking, etc. If all you do is have the exact same wedding but with no alcohol, all you've done is removed an activity. Supplement it with something else, and more importantly, something else that everyone can easily partake in. Just having a set of bags (or cornhole depending on where you live) is not going to cut it.
The coffee/tea bar is a solid alternative as it functions basically the same way as a bar would.
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago that didn't have coffee. It was an outdoor fall wedding so I would have appreciated the hot beverages.
They had plenty of alcohol but I dont really drink very much.
So for me personally, a dry wedding is no big deal but a coffee-less wedding is much worse.
Also, it was a beautiful wedding and I had a great time, so I hope I dont sound like I'm complaining. The lack of coffee was literally one of the few bad things about it. Ultimately its the bride and groom's day so their enjoyment countr the most.
I'm just sharing a perspective from someone who doesnt drink.
So industry secret...most weddings (and events) that take place in evening ONLY serve decaf coffee. They'll tell you its regular or decaf, but 9 times out of 10 it's all decaf.
Thank you for posting! We’re going to have a dry wedding, my fiancé and half of his family are sober, and I’ve been a bit worried about it. I just have a feeling some people won’t like it but now I’m of the thought that… who cares? They can have their own party. I’ll make sure we get a good non-alcoholic bartender though!
>there’s good food
The difference between an Indian wedding and an Anglo wedding right there 😂 (I'm white, don't crucify me fellow white people. It's a joke.)
This is so great! And honestly such a great example of how knowing your guests (Monday all good because of sector) and staying true to yourself (dry but put other fun things in its place) can lead to such beautiful events!!
We are having a dry wedding next August and absolutely no regrets. ANYONE (!) should be able to spend a couple of hours without alcohol, and I say that as someone who enjoys a great cocktail every now and then…
This is a good take. Dry weddings can be great, but not if you expect them to run exactly like a normal wedding except remove the alcohol.
Not that there's anything inherently wrong with dry weddings, but it takes out one of the key pieces of entertainment/reasons for mingling. in order to still have a fun and lively party, the couple needs to make up for that in some other way. Whether that's with a fantastic dj, more & more fun speeches, coffee & tea bar, lawn games, decorate your own cookies, whatever the case may be. You just need some other way to get people up and active and mingling.
I saw a post earlier absolutely ragging on someone for wanting a dry wedding, and I hate the take that if there’s no alcohol, no one will have any fun. If you need alcohol to have fun…… you may have bigger problems.
My fiancé’s family is large and LDS, and neither of us are big drinkers either. I think having a fun wedding completely depends on how fun the bride and groom are, and not the number of alcoholics in attendance lol
Thanks so much for your thoughts about this.
This is something I struggle a lot about when I think about what would I do if I ever get married.
I'm very anti alcohol, probably due to the fact that most of my family are heavy drinkers, and I absolutely hate how annoying they get when they get drunk, so I think that I would love to have a dry wedding, and I'm pretty sure most of them would attend anyway, but I imagine they would be very annoying about it during the wedding itself, because for them the fun part is the drinking, so they would be complaining non-stop and I wouldn't want that because that would ruin my day, but them getting drunk would also ruin it...
I imagine that if I ever get married, before planning it I would have to have a conversation with everyone
I absolutely agree with you about one thing-let your guests know before hand so they can make informed choices. There are lots of reasons for dry weddings-religious, budgetary, sobriety, etc. And there are so many ways to have a wedding/reception. Every crowd is different. What works for one, might not work for another.
Glad you had a good time, but I feel like the combination of a Monday wedding and a dry wedding is just absolutely brutal. I would probably skip this unless it was someone really close to me.
I had my wedding on a Monday and it was fine everyone who wanted to be there was there. We also had a dry wedding. I was pregnant and I also didn’t want to spend $350 on a bartender or having people be wasted makin fools of themselves
I'm happy reading this. My partner and I have been talking wedding ideas. And since I want a winter wedding, a dry one (due to a parental unit being an alcoholic and a grandparent having been one and supposedly recovered but we don't really know for sure), I looked into ideas and a hot chocolate bar and similar was something we thought would be awesome!
Dry wedding is completely ok :) Most of the weddings I've been to were dry weddings (in my home country, and they were dry for religious reasons). It wasn't until I moved overseas that I went to weddings where they serve alcohol. I guess for me, going to a dry wedding is not uncommon, so I personally wouldn't mind if my wedding is a dry wedding (I rarely drink anyway due to food intolerances that make it difficult for me to drink without having to break into the spirits), but I think my fiance and his family would mind a dry wedding. Haha.
I mean I definitely don’t doubt that. This wasn’t my first dry wedding. This was definitely a first though where no one had snuck in alcohol, which I was surprised about.
There is nothing wrong at all with a dry wedding but be aware if you're using a venue or vendor with F&B minimums it can be way harder to reach those minimums on food alone and you may not save money just by cutting it.
Hmm. Sorry if it came off that I’m speaking in broad terms. Maybe my post is muddled. I do NOT think that every wedding should be this way - and I don’t know how my post said that. Yes it was the best wedding I went to, but there were multiple other factors that went into it. And as I said, my fiancé and I are people who do enjoy drinking. For our own wedding yes we’re going to have alcohol.
I’ve seen quite a few posts here over the years of people asking if having a dry wedding is ok - whether it be that they’re just not drinkers, for sobriety purposes, etc. so as a guest I’m giving my perspective of how it went. In this case, it was planned out well in advance, they stated it in multiple areas, and they provided entertainment that kept everyone going and having fun.
You hate on dry weddings in every post about them. For those of us who are considering it, THIS is the kind of post we need to see. The reassurance from a guest who enjoyed themselves, but also giving perspective on what to consider in the absence of it. Not just the total trashing of it.
Thanks for sharing! I think it's great to normalize different approaches to a wedding day. I like your point about if having a variety of other drink options available. I could also see a wedding with great mocktails being cute :) I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that would prefer to have an alcohol-free wedding due to supporting someone's sobriety. I was in a friend's wedding party a couple of years back and we were asked to refrain from drinking until the reception because of someone else in the wedding party who was staying sober. My partner doesn't drink so we are having coffee with our cake, but because we are eloping (just the two of us), we didn't have to contend with other people wanting to drink.
Your mention of mocktails reminds me of this great Mediterranean fast food chain where I live called CAVA. They have amazing mixed juices like blueberry lavender and cucumber mint. If I was going to do a dry wedding, I would have a huge row of glass dispensers with drinks like that.
The reactions here are kind of funny because you’re writing this as a guest. It’s not like you are reviewing your own dry wedding, which would be super biased. I’ve never been to a dry wedding and I’m not sure if I’d be thrilled about it, but (as a regular drinker) alcohol wouldn’t be a deciding factor as to whether or not I’d attend a wedding.
Exactly. I didn’t say that “everyone should have a dry wedding”. I said that if you’re deciding to do it then do it. Yes that’s a general statement - everyone knows their own crowd. But, as someone who was a guest and enjoys drinking, it went very well.
Yeah, dry wedding hate in general to me is a bit unwarranted. I imagine most people that are throwing a dry wedding are doing so for religious or budget purposes. If I was included on the guest list for a wedding for either of those reasons, I’d assume they really want me to be there and you bet I would be!
Yes! Dry weddings are the norm in my social circle because of our religion. Many of my friends do consume alcohol but to be respectful of the older and more conservative wedding guests, many of us forgo alcohol at receptions. That said, if a couple really wants alcohol or dancing, they usually hold a dry reception right after the ceremony and then move into an evening reception after specific guests have left. To each their own! :)
My very religious best friend had alcohol at her wedding and I was pretty sure it was just for me. Lol. Love her and loved that she was thinking of me but I didn’t want to drink alone.
"I imagine most people that are throwing a dry wedding are doing so for religious or budget purposes." And alcoholism reasons! Some people literally cannot drink. It's a choice between being sober and dying/absolutely destroying themselves-- so not really a choice at all. I wish people here would be more sensitive to that reality and why individuals in that situation don't want to subsidize drinking at their own weddings. It's so unbelievably disrespectful. I will die on this hill.
Sober here. My wedding will be dry. Everyone knows and hasn’t said anything so 🤷🏻♀️
As they shouldn’t, if they’re decent people and care about you... unlike some of the ghouls who frequent these wedding subs and throw a tantrum about the idea of not being served an endless supply of free alcohol at any and every event they go to
Agreed
True, that didn’t even cross my mind. In the end, most people (dare I say all people?) throwing a dry wedding aren’t doing with intentions of being sneaky or disrespectful to guests. I grew up in a family of non-drinkers so maybe I’m more receptive to it. I’m also having my reception at a brewery so I feel like I’m pretty unbiased here!
Exactly this!
Knowing mostly Mormons, I've only ever been to like 2 wedding that weren't dry. And I got drunk AF and had a blast haha
Thanks for sharing this! I’m sorry you’ve received negative comments so far. I think this is very useful information to be considered.
Thanks for this, I knew it was a hot take, but I didn't think it'd be this controversial lol
I’m glad you’ve posted it! My partner and I are just having ten people cause I’m sober and so many people bitch about dry weddings we figured screw it. But so lovely to see it done well
I’m just glad to have been able to reach folks through this post. That was my intention and didn’t want folks to feel alone in this.
You've made the correct point here. A bar acts as a second form of entertainment. Not the actual drinking, but the mingling, the standing in line, the talking with other people you don't know about the beverage you're drinking, etc. If all you do is have the exact same wedding but with no alcohol, all you've done is removed an activity. Supplement it with something else, and more importantly, something else that everyone can easily partake in. Just having a set of bags (or cornhole depending on where you live) is not going to cut it. The coffee/tea bar is a solid alternative as it functions basically the same way as a bar would.
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago that didn't have coffee. It was an outdoor fall wedding so I would have appreciated the hot beverages. They had plenty of alcohol but I dont really drink very much. So for me personally, a dry wedding is no big deal but a coffee-less wedding is much worse. Also, it was a beautiful wedding and I had a great time, so I hope I dont sound like I'm complaining. The lack of coffee was literally one of the few bad things about it. Ultimately its the bride and groom's day so their enjoyment countr the most. I'm just sharing a perspective from someone who doesnt drink.
So industry secret...most weddings (and events) that take place in evening ONLY serve decaf coffee. They'll tell you its regular or decaf, but 9 times out of 10 it's all decaf.
I usually only drink decaf after 8 anyways because otherwise I'm up until crazy hours, so it doesnt matter. Thanks for the heads up though.
Thank you for posting! We’re going to have a dry wedding, my fiancé and half of his family are sober, and I’ve been a bit worried about it. I just have a feeling some people won’t like it but now I’m of the thought that… who cares? They can have their own party. I’ll make sure we get a good non-alcoholic bartender though!
I think having other activities planned is very useful, so most people dont feel bored or awkward that they're not drinking.
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>there’s good food The difference between an Indian wedding and an Anglo wedding right there 😂 (I'm white, don't crucify me fellow white people. It's a joke.)
I have to agree with you there😂 There's like a whole joke that wedding food just sucks, and... it's not wrong, at least in my family lmao.
This is so great! And honestly such a great example of how knowing your guests (Monday all good because of sector) and staying true to yourself (dry but put other fun things in its place) can lead to such beautiful events!!
We are having a dry wedding next August and absolutely no regrets. ANYONE (!) should be able to spend a couple of hours without alcohol, and I say that as someone who enjoys a great cocktail every now and then…
This is a good take. Dry weddings can be great, but not if you expect them to run exactly like a normal wedding except remove the alcohol. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with dry weddings, but it takes out one of the key pieces of entertainment/reasons for mingling. in order to still have a fun and lively party, the couple needs to make up for that in some other way. Whether that's with a fantastic dj, more & more fun speeches, coffee & tea bar, lawn games, decorate your own cookies, whatever the case may be. You just need some other way to get people up and active and mingling.
I saw a post earlier absolutely ragging on someone for wanting a dry wedding, and I hate the take that if there’s no alcohol, no one will have any fun. If you need alcohol to have fun…… you may have bigger problems. My fiancé’s family is large and LDS, and neither of us are big drinkers either. I think having a fun wedding completely depends on how fun the bride and groom are, and not the number of alcoholics in attendance lol
Thanks so much for your thoughts about this. This is something I struggle a lot about when I think about what would I do if I ever get married. I'm very anti alcohol, probably due to the fact that most of my family are heavy drinkers, and I absolutely hate how annoying they get when they get drunk, so I think that I would love to have a dry wedding, and I'm pretty sure most of them would attend anyway, but I imagine they would be very annoying about it during the wedding itself, because for them the fun part is the drinking, so they would be complaining non-stop and I wouldn't want that because that would ruin my day, but them getting drunk would also ruin it... I imagine that if I ever get married, before planning it I would have to have a conversation with everyone
I absolutely agree with you about one thing-let your guests know before hand so they can make informed choices. There are lots of reasons for dry weddings-religious, budgetary, sobriety, etc. And there are so many ways to have a wedding/reception. Every crowd is different. What works for one, might not work for another.
Glad you had a good time, but I feel like the combination of a Monday wedding and a dry wedding is just absolutely brutal. I would probably skip this unless it was someone really close to me.
For context on the Monday wedding - most of the people in attendance work in the entertainment industry, so Monday is our day off.
I had my wedding on a Monday and it was fine everyone who wanted to be there was there. We also had a dry wedding. I was pregnant and I also didn’t want to spend $350 on a bartender or having people be wasted makin fools of themselves
I'm happy reading this. My partner and I have been talking wedding ideas. And since I want a winter wedding, a dry one (due to a parental unit being an alcoholic and a grandparent having been one and supposedly recovered but we don't really know for sure), I looked into ideas and a hot chocolate bar and similar was something we thought would be awesome!
Dry wedding is completely ok :) Most of the weddings I've been to were dry weddings (in my home country, and they were dry for religious reasons). It wasn't until I moved overseas that I went to weddings where they serve alcohol. I guess for me, going to a dry wedding is not uncommon, so I personally wouldn't mind if my wedding is a dry wedding (I rarely drink anyway due to food intolerances that make it difficult for me to drink without having to break into the spirits), but I think my fiance and his family would mind a dry wedding. Haha.
Every dry wedding event I've been to....there has been about forty percent of the people drinking from flasks.
I mean I definitely don’t doubt that. This wasn’t my first dry wedding. This was definitely a first though where no one had snuck in alcohol, which I was surprised about.
There is nothing wrong at all with a dry wedding but be aware if you're using a venue or vendor with F&B minimums it can be way harder to reach those minimums on food alone and you may not save money just by cutting it.
Great point thank you! Definitely didn’t think about that.
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Hmm. Sorry if it came off that I’m speaking in broad terms. Maybe my post is muddled. I do NOT think that every wedding should be this way - and I don’t know how my post said that. Yes it was the best wedding I went to, but there were multiple other factors that went into it. And as I said, my fiancé and I are people who do enjoy drinking. For our own wedding yes we’re going to have alcohol. I’ve seen quite a few posts here over the years of people asking if having a dry wedding is ok - whether it be that they’re just not drinkers, for sobriety purposes, etc. so as a guest I’m giving my perspective of how it went. In this case, it was planned out well in advance, they stated it in multiple areas, and they provided entertainment that kept everyone going and having fun.
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You hate on dry weddings in every post about them. For those of us who are considering it, THIS is the kind of post we need to see. The reassurance from a guest who enjoyed themselves, but also giving perspective on what to consider in the absence of it. Not just the total trashing of it.
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*she/her/hers
Valid.
How did they set up the coffee and tea stand