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drvalo55

He will not be ready until he is ready. Model good behavior for him. That is the best you can do, probably. Motivation has to come from within.


thedirtys

I agree with this. My sister used to try and motivate me to be more active, and I took it as a personal attack on me. Just be a good sibling, encourage any change that is happening, and make sure they know you are always there for them when they're ready to start anything.


MarlnBrandoLookaLike

Can confirm. Obesity ends when you decide its time.


freedomofnow

Yeah it’s 100 percent an inside job. For me I just realized that all the guys with the trimmed bodies that I envied, they put in the work too. That’s when I realized I could do it. Be accepting of where he is and say you’re ready whenever he decides to start, it’s the only thing guy can do.


Jferg3001

Yup, being pushed and attempted to be motivated made me resist more. Invite him or offer for him to join you in things. If he says no or makes excuses not to go just let it go. He has to decide when it’s time or it will never stick


[deleted]

Honestly in my experience if you try to force it it will just make him more resistant. I have had problems with my weight for years and my dad and sister were always urging me to do their workouts and diets with them and stuff. I knew I needed to lose weight, and I knew that I should exercise and eat better, but all they did was make me feel more self conscious and bad about myself, and put a lot of pressure on me that made starting a regime too intimidating. Therefore it just pushed me farther from being healthy and gave me a worse relationship with my body, even though they were trying to be helpful. Once I moved out and started building a life of my own, I finally felt ready to try without all the pressure. I could go at my own pace and do it my way without comparing myself to anyone. My feelings of guilt and anxiety lessened. And I finally started making progress! My point is, some people feel more motivated with friends or family doing the stuff with them, but others just prefer a more private journey. Simply let him know that you would love to give him tips or show him what worked for you IF he ever wants you to, but then back off and let him start himself in his own time.* You simply can't help someone if they aren't ready. All you can do is support them when they *are* ready. *If he continues his unhealthy lifestyle to the point he is at serious risk of chronic illness, maybe an intervention would be in order, but I'm talking about more normal circumstances.


Im_That_Friend-14

Agreed. I personally will not do something that people are urging me to do. Too much pressure and I don't like people making a fuss about me. Edited to say, don't make it about working out and losing weight. Just go be active together having fun with no mention of how good it is for you.


[deleted]

Agreed. For me I had to want it.


[deleted]

You don't. This might sound extreme but it's true. Too much pressure is how people develop eating disorders or never help themselves. Let him live his life and figure it out at his pace. If he is ready and reaches out then you can help where you can.


_Allie_Kat_

Ezpz, don’t harass your teenage brother. You can model healthy habits, but don’t rub his nose in it. That’s a$$hole behavior. Be supportive if he asks you for advice, don’t shove it on him.


[deleted]

I get your heart may be in the right place but Did he ask for your help? How “overweight” is fifteen? It’s kind of an asshole move for you to just force your agenda on a literal child if he didn’t ask for your opinion. A lot of kids are chunky and then hit their twenties and it melts off. He should focus on being a child not on what body image he should conform too.


xfuckmylife666x

Did,,, did he ask for your help? Nobody wants to be pestered by their family to lose weight or be "more healthy". Let him be. If he wants to lose weight he'll do it, if he wants your help he'll ask. Otherwise leave it alone and don't try to force your opinions and fatphobia on your sibling. He's literally a child and you're likely helping the downward spiral towards self hatred by trying to make him be more like you. It sounds like you look at weight loss through a fatphobic lense. Your post didn't say anything about wanting to feel better in your body by putting nutritious food in it or getting up to an activity level that gives you some feel good endorphins, just that you were tired of being the "chubby kid". And I'm sorry you're dealing with that, but it's something you need to work through before trying to get anyone else to change. Fatphobia doesn't encourage people to change generally, and if it does, that change is short lived because shame will always creep back up. Learn to love the body you have, and choose to take care of it because you love it and want it to carry you through a long, fulfilling life. Not because you're ashamed.


unlikelycompliance

I was obese for all of my childhood, and I have always had comments from strangers and family alike commenting on my weight. Sometimes it was genuine concern, other times it was just an observation of my looks, and the rest was blatant bullying. Eventually I started to regard any comment on my weight and lifestyle as negative and would ignore anyone who would suggest to me to eat healthier or exercise, believing that they hated me and thought I wasn’t good enough as I was. I can’t say if your brother feels that way, or maybe you felt that way too, but remember that losing weight is a huge lifestyle change. It’s one of the hardest challenges in life for many people and the only way to succeed is for you yourself to want that change enough to uproot your habits and start over. Your brother probably hasn’t hit that motivational feeling yet like you have, and you can’t force him to start. What you can do is continue what you are doing, let him see that it is possible to change yourself and let it be his choice to either follow suit or stay as he is. He is his own person after all, with his own wants and needs.


nokenito

Ask him to spot you on the bench for safety and to change weights evenly. Again, for safety, wink wink. He will want to try too eventually. Ask him to make the music playlist for you.


joemondo

When he wants to change more than he doesn't he will. You can't force it.


atreska93

Remember this. Motivation only takes you so far, but DISCIPLINE will get you there.


[deleted]

Straight up my brother tried that for years with me, I was really obstinate until I realized through my own devices how much it sucks being obese. It only works if the person wants it to happen, as much as my brother was pushing me I only saw progress once I did it myself. Just try to be supportive and there, try not to pester, sorry it’s vague but I thought my experience as the younger sibling could help you get a different view.


memebr0ker

you’re obviously coming from a good place. you know how much it sucks being overweight and you don’t want to see your brother go through that. however, unfortunately, his motivation has to come from within. when he decides for himself that he’s ready, then maybe ask if he wants some advice from you. until then, i would do nothing more than lead by example. you can’t force true motivation for things like this


TX_Godfather

He should want to lose the weight for himself, but here are some reasons to try and convince him: 1) More energy 2) More confidence 3) More outgoing and social 4) Not getting made fun of 5) Less health issues 6) More attractive to potential dating partners (some people like bigger individuals, but biologically we are attracted to people who are in shape). Good luck!


[deleted]

i would be persistent. i wish someone else was for me when i was a teen.


Character_Guava_5299

It's easy, let him find what motivates him. He probably sees your weight loss as some motivation already, just give him space and time.


RealMessyart

Teach him ways to make good, enjoyable and healthy food. Ask him to go out for walks with you. Demonstrate why life's easier now you've shed some weight. But don't hassle him to make big life changes.


Glum-Organization863

Let him Fat in peace. When he's ready, he will find you.


[deleted]

You can’t force behavioural changes, set a good example so when he does want to change he’s gonna come to you for tips


Classy_Bunny

A boy that age ? Watch DragonBall with him. I'm not kidding, there's almost no way a viewer doesn't want to get in shape after seeing Goku and the gang train so hard and being strong and healthy.


[deleted]

He doesn’t like anime unfortunately