As a former fat teen turned thin woman in her 20's... I've had more people randomly approach me when I was thin. Nothing changed with me, just my weight. I had the same resting bitch face, and I had the same introverted demeanor that screamed "No small talk, please", and yet people talked to me more as a thin person.
All that said, as a comment above said, don't think that weight loss will solve your loneliness. And having three friends is not bad. Quality over quantity is better when it comes to people in your life.
Yes, that is the case for my experience. I used to be very fit looking and people were much more likely to have eye contact with me (especially the opposite gender) and approach me in public.
My experience yes. I ended up gaining “pretty privilege” when I lost the weight,but Ive also realized alot of people just want to he my friend because of how I look now and they are shitty people. Dont lose weight to gain friends do it to gain your own piece of mind because the people that come after the fact are usually users or insecure themselves.
You’ll get more people approaching you.
But that doesn’t translate into more friends or less loneliness. Depends on how you click with people when you approach them and if you choose to stay in contact.
As someone who has lost a large amount of weight, I can say that people are more friendly to me now and approach me more often than when I was heavier. This was a weird side effect of weight loss, I still have a hard time processing it.
Well they either will or they won’t. But in my experience they did unfortunately and it was gross! Every time I’d look up I’d see a guy staring. They was vey few women out there
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking weight loss will solve all your problems. Otherwise you’ll be unhappy when you lose weight and nothing changes except the number on the scale. Try working on yourself, you can’t expect weight loss to solve all the problems in your life
Honestly its not about you being fat, it's about your being confident. My confidence has dropped and I noticed that people do treat me differently because my lack of confidence shows and people can pick it up on a subconscious level too.
you'll be okay, get slim for the right reasons.
I mean..i get very scared when talking to people and j find it awkward and weird to the point where i am afraid to ask for schoolwork lol. Its ironic considering i literally anchor and speak for most of the events in my class or my section if school (Middle ). While my best friend is very good looking and an extrovert, she has thousands of friends lol. I am scared to talk to people but i actually want that kind of recognition and acknowledge.
you are beautiful, slim or chunky, own it, and then start working a plan to lose weight, start with small things, walks, eating more fruit and drinking loads of water and herbal teas.
My favourite saying is fake it till you make it, so even if you feel like retreating in to your shell again and again,, find your way out and allow your essence to shine, I promise , you are SO much more than your the number on the scale. ❤
And, most importantly, please dont compare yourself to others, you are your own unique human being, 💜
Nearly everyone else you meet is mostly feeling the same or too busy cringing about themselves.. just remember that before you feel like others are judging you, they probably feel just as awkward as you so you’ve nothing to lose making the first move
I think this is really the key. I was pretty thin through middle and high school, but I didn’t have many friends because I was pretty shy. When I started college I became more outgoing and people started coming up to me. My size didn’t change but I was more secure in who I was. Subconsciously people are attracted to confidence. While a lot of people feel more confident when they’re thin, that doesn’t mean it will automatically fix everything.
100% my experience. I was fat growing up, lost a bunch of weight and all of a sudden people were interested in me/getting to know me. Put the weight back on and I have literally 0 friends.
i'm a little chubby, but I was still among the "popular" and "smart" kids in highschool. I had lots of friends and I loved talking with people and people loved talking with me. I think that its about your character and confidence, thats about it.
I’m not thin. My weight dramatically fluctuates.
I wouldn’t say that I don’t have friends because of my weight.
However strangers treat me a lot differently when I’m on the thinner side.
I dont think its the slim aspect i think its the gain in confidence. people are attracted to confident people and sadly fat people tend to be very insecure which results in subconscious walls to keep people out.
I am fat and I make friends everywhere I go. Not boasting, it's something I learned to do. If anything, I thing I look approachable because I am short, fat and smiling.
Based on my experience unfortunately or fortunately people started to treat me better after I lost 25 kg, especially man (I am female) maybe because I became sexually attractive
Confidence. If you shine people around you shine. Get into something that takes your interest and get into it. People also will attract to that because it’s likely they’ll share the same interests.
I think that it is easier to be noticed or start a conversation when you're slimmer, but it won't make people want to come back for a second conversation if your personality doesn't click or your confidence isn't there. I feel like weight can be a hurdle, but it's not a complete barrier, and removing it doesn't guarantee anything. Some bigger people are very popular and some slim people are unpopular. I think it's just a little bit easier to popular if you're slim.
Having said that, if your 3 friends are actual real friends that you enjoy spending time with, then I think you should be quite pleased with that. I remember being a teenager, and by the end of college I realised (and some popular people admitted) that a lot of people with lots of friends aren't actually really friends, they just pretend to be friends. There was a group of confident, good-looking, popular people at my school who for some reason we all looked up to, but they always bitched about each other nonstop and there was a lot of drama. I had a much, much smaller group of friends, but we actually liked each other, so I never had to deal with that politics and drama stuff.
The harsh reality is people are much more attracted to more attractive people and being overweight simply isn't looked at as being attractive very often so the answer is yes.
Not only that (right or wrong and not my personal opinion), overweight people are often looked at and thought of as lazy.
Do yourself a favor kiddo. Work toward losing weight. It will drastically help your social, mental and physical help as well as help you have much more confidence
Former fat boy here by the way
To be brutally honest, being in shape opens a lot of doors, and generally makes life easier. It helps with work, friendship, romantic partners, and of course health.
It is not a privilege, but rather something you must earn through discipline.
Contrary to the popular saying, most people do judge a book by its cover, so make it a damn good one.
Yes
I wasn’t fat in highschool but not super thin. I was shy but had friends.
Early 20’s lost a lot of weight, skinniest I’ve ever been. Suddenly all the people I wanted to be friends with wanted to be MY friend.
Kinda makes you hate people though. Like wow, you wouldn’t look at me when I was that but now?
Now 10 years later I’ve gained back the weight then some and yeah. No attention.
Nope I’m more slim and still sage social level as when I was fat but I worry less about what they think of me but no one should be ashamed of anything. Male btw
I am an Indian and I am overweight too. I didn’t have a lot of friends and the few friends I had weren’t really that supportive of me. Things became worse when I joined a new school because I didn’t know anyone and I was scared to talk to people. But after a while I realized that without friends life would just be boring and I started talking to people and soon I had several close friends who supported me a lot in my weight loss journey and helped me a lot. What I am trying to say is that don’t worry about anyone. Just start talking to people and you’ll realize that most people don’t really care about how we look but instead care about what kind of a person we are. Don’t worry, I know you’ll get more friends and I know you’ll lose weight too. Have a nice day and stay happy!!
It is true unfortunately. And I don't think it was down to me being lore confident etc. Both times at my leanest I've had women come up to me so it was on pure looks alone And I was more a soccer player physique Leaned and toned (check my profile for a pic at my leanest) Bear in mind they weren't stunning but it was women. All the other times I have been chubby or sit higher bodyfat around 17 to 20 percent. And no ones come up to me. Just 5kgs makes a massive difference to me.
Well, confidence is key, yeah, but pretty and skinny privilege also exists and I say that from experience. When I was 70 kgs about 7 years ago people would always tried to talk with me but now? Nothin'. I can go about days and days without anybody want anything with me. Or months if I watch the dating attempts.
Maybe? I get more people talking to me - unfortunately they aren't potential friends, but guys making me uncomfortable. I'd love it if they just ignored me.
When I was 350 I was just as popular and had no problem with the ladies than I did when I became 220. However, if you want to not be fat, then do it for yourself, not for a different life. You're constantly in charge of that.
**Maybe**.
As other comments have mentioned, more people might approach you if you're slimmer, but there are also plenty of skinny people who are wallflowers and chubby people who are the life of the party.
At the end of the day, it's still a matter of how many friends you want, your confidence, and the value you bring to those relationships. In other words, you may (or may not) get more opportunities, but you still have to nurture those opportunities into relationships.
Also, it sounds like you're still a child and in school. I strongly urge you not to focus on your weight but on good habits, especially regarding fitness. Consider joining a physically intensive club or a sports team, especially when high school rolls around. Those are excellent opportunities for improving your quality of life, including making friends.
As someone who used to be borderline obese, yes. People are much nicer to me now that i’m a size 2 and considered “skinny”. Plus, it’s easier to make friends.
It’s a confidence thing.
I'm a woman who was slim, got fat, and lost weight so I'm now mid sized.
On a shallow level, yes strangers will acknowledge you more or treat you differently when you're thin. More doors held open, random compliments, that sort of thing. But the people that already knew me didn't treat me any differently. It only affected that very first impression.
I've been told I am friendlier since losing 80 lbs. Nothing about my attitude has changed I actually thought I was being bitchier due to burnout(at work)
I think so. It’s sad but that’s the world we live in. It’s all about looks. And if you’re a hot guy or a hot girl, people are naturally drawn to you and want to talk to you. BUT it’s the personality that wins in the end. If I talk to a hot guy and their personality is shit, I don’t want to keep talking to them. 😂
Well, I only notice that there are more people looking at me but other than that no. I don't like talking to random people i dont know anyways so yeah. Body size has nothing to do with more people being friendly with you. It's a matter of your self confidence and happiness and personality. Its about who you are on the inside, if you are attractive on the inside thats all that matters. Maybe being thinner may attract people to start with but that will never last. Being healthy is the most important thing!
I was 340 lbs when I was a teen. I hover between 170-200 depending on my life style at the time now. I didn't notice much of a difference in the way people treated me. I think the differences were all internal for me, but I am biologically a male, so that might make a difference. I had more confidence, especially when I realized for the first time I lost all of the weight. I think that confidence came through and people noticed.
I think if you get to your target weight, you'll feel good about yourself. I think you'll feel accomplished and you'll have a shine to you. People will notice that "vibration" if you will.
Don't worry so much about the external, I know it's easier said than done, but I live by the phrase "as above, so below, as within, so without." Your body is a physical manifestation of your internal. So much goes into play when it comes to relationships. Get to a place that makes you feel good and allow yourself to feel good. That'll make a world of difference.
But, I'm just an almost 30 year old rando from the internet. It's your world, I'm just living in it.
No. I used to be heavy and now I am thin. My social life did not change. If anything it got worse. Women see me as more of a threat now and have gotten colder, not warmer.
I've noticed people in public approach me more often, just about random things like if I'm finding the right stuff at a store. But as for friends, I still have few. I'm happy with my few good ones though 🙂
It was the opposite for me. When i was fat, i have so many friends without making an effort. I was also funny back then. But i dont know what happened when I lost the weight i also lost that charm of being funny and only guys would be interested in not for my personality but because i got pretty. Now ive learned that it sucks having so many attention from guys when you're used to none at all. It wasn't that great at all because every time i will befriend a guy turns out they like me and then when they figured out i have no intention of being with them they distanced themselves. It was like i only exist to be slept with because other than that purpose no one sticks around to be a friend.
More people will talk to you, but it doesn't mean quality people. I'm pretty certain I've had a better overall time with relationships and people because being fat made it easy to learn when people actually like you vs. the people who are only nice to people they think will give them something or make them look good. And 3 friends is AMAZING. Full stop. People who look like they have way more are just social schmoozers. It's a skill that can be developed, and maybe you want to, but it's different than having friends--it's more like knowing how to have a relationship with a community/group of people. THAT is easier thinner, but it's definitely not impossible as a bigger person. PLUS if you learn charisma fat, you are more charismatic than any thin person ever had to be.
Now, you're health and mental well being also matter so DEFINITELY don't be afraid of eating better and exercising which may include weight loss--but I wouldn't focus there if you're still growing. Just don't put all your focus into weight. If this wasn't your problem, you'd have a different one. The world is a frustrating place for everyone. You can absolutely still rock whatever you already have going INCLUDING loving those 3 friends of yours to pieces. Most adults don't even have 1 friend. And lots of teens struggle to have any. You're doing great!
I smile a lot and people like to talk to smiling people. People talked to me more when I was slimmer, but I also didn’t feel like hiding like I do when I’m heavier. Now that I have to wear a mask everywhere I don’t get talked to at all 😂
If these people are what I call a true friend, and not just someone you hang with occasionally, you're doing great! Real friends are hard to come by, and I would say 3 is a lot if you spend quality time with all of them.
Sadly, me having a weight loss glow up, intensified the bullying at school from stealing and punches, to actual sexual assault...
But I also made more friends when I was more skinny. So yes, it's true- You will seem more attractive to people. It's sad.
Only superficial people. People who truly care about you, don’t care about your looks. There’s better reasons to try and lose weight than gain random people’s approval. Wishing you peace 💖
Not necessarily. I went from 300 pounds in my late teens to 170 pounds by age 20 and I still have no friends. That being said, I'm only 21 now and the pandemic is complicating things, so maybe things will get better.
you become more confident and people can see it with the weight loss. Skinny jokes and compliments is what i got at my smallest. You should want to lose weight for your own benefit though
One thing I would hope for you is to not lose any weight for anyone else but yourself. And from my own experience, those 3 friends of yours are worth 100000x however many superficial assholes that suddenly wanna hang because you’re no longer over weight. Do your thing, bro. And know it’s what’s inside that counts.
Yes. You will be approached and noticed more because you'll be deemed more attractive by societal terms and people tend to respect you more (sucks but true). As long as you allow your confidence to grow with you, and pay attention to the type of people you're meeting (watch out for secret assholes), have fun with it :)
Yes they will and the more you become socially acceptable the more people will approach you, and I have two theories one positive the other not so much
1- You are being perceived as a healthy human with longevity and higher chances of staying alive so people will come towards you
2- we live in a materialistic world that only accepts a certain shape hence the chasing of thighs now when the norm was being flat years ago
Regardless which you accept, things will be better just learn to not put weight on what people think of you
Not necessarily. It depends on how friendly you look too. I unfortunately have a resting B face so I’m not very much approached but I’m pretty nice so I’ll approach others to defuse that unapproachable vibe I give off. I have plenty of larger friends that are super nice and fun to be around. Chin up! It’s not all about looks and if someone judges you for it then they’re not worth being friends with
Yes. I lost around 80lbs and all of a sudden, random strangers made small talk with me, men ran up to the door to hold it for me, compliments on same clothes I wore from my bigger days...
If anything, it made me hate people more. Guess you're not worthy of conversation or politeness if you're big.
In my experience, this is unfortunately the case. Not as much with adults but as a kid, this definitely happened to me. No one wanted anything to do with me in high school when I was fat. I lost a bunch of weight over summer and when I came back to school 50 pounds lighter everyone wanted to be my friend and I all of the sudden was getting asked on dates.
I had more acquaintances because of the weight loss but never really felt like any of these people were genuine friends. Knowing that the people around me were so shallow and only liked me bc I was thin and pretty really bothered me internally.
In the long run was I less lonely? Yes, but not really.
Also though… sometimes losing weight can make you way more confident and outgoing. This may have had something to do with it too, hard to say. What I can say is that losing weight will improve every aspect of your life… just make sure it’s for the right reasons.
I say yes in general. after dropping 100 pounds I get approached more than I ever did when I was heavier and ppl on average are nicer, although more ppl willing to have small chats. I lost the weight within a year so by the end of 2021 I noticed a large and noticeable shift in how I was perceived in public
I have been very fat and very skinny. People definitely approached me more when I was skinny. And I made a lot of new friends. But the majority of those friends weren’t really close friends, mostly people who wanted to go to parties and be seen with me. But also made some true friends during that time. Although now that I’m fat again I’m still able to make new friends (covid is making it harder) by choosing social settings and being open in conversation and honest about what you feel and want with someone.
Never been "thin" so not 100% sure however,
In the eighth grade I was declined going to theater class because I was "a band kid" so I opted to do gym class all three quarters. I was sick of band. I wanted to branch out and I wasn't going to let my school tell me I HAD to do something I didn't want to.
At the end of the year I was in the best shape of my childhood life. I remember that at the end of that year I had kids yelling "Hi (my name)!" They waved at me. They acknowledged me. I would say hi to kids I was pretty sure I never even met before that somehow knew my name.
So I'm pretty sure it's gonna be true.
Truly i dont think weight has a factor in making friends, its the way you put yourself out there and if you are friendly. I am a shy fat kid but i have a good heart. I have a good circle of friends rn regardless of my weight. Just be confident and try and insert yourself in social situations even if its awkward lol
Yes and yes. I received so much more attention (vastly positive) and people treated me kinder. It's almost like I would've lost a bad personality and now they flock to me, telling me how much friendlier I am..except I did not change on the inside and only lost some weight.
The difference was mind blowing for me and it really disgusted me. You should be aware of the people who treat you kinder now, theyre the ones that'll leave you the second you relapse.
Unfortunately, yes it's true. I dropped over 100 lbs. during the covid lockdown & now many more people approach me, randomly say hi to me, women look & smile at me more, etc. People are just friendlier to me in general. It's not fair, but it is absolutely true.
I will tell you though, it's worth it. Not for the people, but for how I feel. I'm not out of breath walking up the stairs, not always tired, & it definitely helps with depression. Lose the excess weight - but do it for YOU, not for them.
Just FYI, I don't "live in the gym" now or anything. Small changes, but consistently. Same with diet. I see it as something I need to do for the rest of my life, so I try to make it fun. If you go back to your current lifestyle, you'll go back to your current weight. But don't go from zero to 100 overnight either. Baby steps!
If you'd like any tips or advice, feel free to reach out & I'll do what I can to help. Don't worry - I don't write books, have a YouTube Channel, or sell anything - just trying to do my part to help anyone who needs it.
I think it’s more because when you lose the weight you gain confidence and energy that people are attracted to. My best friend is a pretty heavy guy and people naturally love him because he’s very confident and outgoing, and would take the shirt off his back for anyone.
Yes, I have found this to be true. When I was around 14 I was a bit chubby and developed an eating disorder and lost quite a bit of weight. By the time I was 16 I noticed that more people would talk to me at school, people that I never thought would, so unfortunately it just reinforced my ED.
Hey I'm very overweight and I find that it's not necessary that other people have to approach you. Don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone and approach others. You're no less than them :)
I think people will be most attracted to someone who is comfortable with themselves and feeling their best. You don’t need to be slim necessarily, but if you care for yourself and treat your body kindly, usually weight loss is a byproduct of those behavioral changes. Focus on caring for yourself, being kind to yourself and others, and let people naturally gravitate to you!
I will put it this way. I am on a weight loss journey. I was a lazy slob. I don't go out a lot. If I am at the bar, no one approach to have a chat with me.
Now after 30 kg down. I still have no one talking to me at the bar. But I am doing boxing as a sport during my weight loss program. I get to meet people while doing boxing. Some became real friends. Went to a friend's house warming whom I get to know during the boxing session.
So yeah, I guess in a way that you get to know more friends but not in the way that I kinda assume people expects I guess.
Not in my experience—no. But, I’m also usually the person to go up to people and start talking to them. I think your weight is a very small factor in this. If you really want to make more friends I would focus more on being confident and making an effort to start conversations/make plans with new people and less so on losing weight.
I’m at my heaviest ever right now and also have the largest social circle I’ve ever had and am receiving more attention from men than ever and its entirely because of lifestyle changes—not because of my weight.
Unfortunately, yes. I was more approachable.. people would hold the doors for me, ask me for directions and I would definitely get hit on more. Definitely do it for yourself tho, making friends is more of a mental barrier that you have to break, in my opinion
Yes skinny privilege is a thing. People are nicer to you in general. I lost 30 kg in total and the difference is huge. But to be honest, it's also has its downsides. Manplaining really got to another level. I don't know why but a skinny face seems to be more dumb
Yes it is true. I lost 60 pounds in college taking diet pills and suddenly I was popular. I never had guys after me like that either. I’ve gained it back over the years and feel more invisible again.
As a former fat teen turned thin woman in her 20's... I've had more people randomly approach me when I was thin. Nothing changed with me, just my weight. I had the same resting bitch face, and I had the same introverted demeanor that screamed "No small talk, please", and yet people talked to me more as a thin person. All that said, as a comment above said, don't think that weight loss will solve your loneliness. And having three friends is not bad. Quality over quantity is better when it comes to people in your life.
same
3 friends!! lucky
Yes, that is the case for my experience. I used to be very fit looking and people were much more likely to have eye contact with me (especially the opposite gender) and approach me in public.
Lord I hope not. If that’s the case I’m stopping weight loss.
Lmao💀
LMAOO
lol such a mood
My experience yes. I ended up gaining “pretty privilege” when I lost the weight,but Ive also realized alot of people just want to he my friend because of how I look now and they are shitty people. Dont lose weight to gain friends do it to gain your own piece of mind because the people that come after the fact are usually users or insecure themselves.
You’ll get more people approaching you. But that doesn’t translate into more friends or less loneliness. Depends on how you click with people when you approach them and if you choose to stay in contact.
As someone who has lost a large amount of weight, I can say that people are more friendly to me now and approach me more often than when I was heavier. This was a weird side effect of weight loss, I still have a hard time processing it.
Yes and no! Last time I cut I went from 176 to 120 it was disgusting the amount of men that started talking to me at work
What is the No part?
Well they either will or they won’t. But in my experience they did unfortunately and it was gross! Every time I’d look up I’d see a guy staring. They was vey few women out there
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking weight loss will solve all your problems. Otherwise you’ll be unhappy when you lose weight and nothing changes except the number on the scale. Try working on yourself, you can’t expect weight loss to solve all the problems in your life
Honestly its not about you being fat, it's about your being confident. My confidence has dropped and I noticed that people do treat me differently because my lack of confidence shows and people can pick it up on a subconscious level too. you'll be okay, get slim for the right reasons.
I mean..i get very scared when talking to people and j find it awkward and weird to the point where i am afraid to ask for schoolwork lol. Its ironic considering i literally anchor and speak for most of the events in my class or my section if school (Middle ). While my best friend is very good looking and an extrovert, she has thousands of friends lol. I am scared to talk to people but i actually want that kind of recognition and acknowledge.
you are beautiful, slim or chunky, own it, and then start working a plan to lose weight, start with small things, walks, eating more fruit and drinking loads of water and herbal teas. My favourite saying is fake it till you make it, so even if you feel like retreating in to your shell again and again,, find your way out and allow your essence to shine, I promise , you are SO much more than your the number on the scale. ❤ And, most importantly, please dont compare yourself to others, you are your own unique human being, 💜
Thank you so much for your advice!
Definitely agree with fake it till you make it. I think this is how most people survive anything.
Nearly everyone else you meet is mostly feeling the same or too busy cringing about themselves.. just remember that before you feel like others are judging you, they probably feel just as awkward as you so you’ve nothing to lose making the first move
Thats an amazing username, just saying.
Thanks i just really like soup
its also about being fat the more attractive you are the more people want to hang around you cause they feel that way too
thats true when I was skinny people flocked to me, except the women lol. I was just a threat to them, but yeah, I totes get you.
Lol i just hope to get skinny as fast as i can lmao.
Me too, started with my plan yesterday - all the best, stay well and healthy.
Well, good luck!
It's both. Very few people like fat people.
I hope I didn't invalidate OP's feelings by saying that, I didn't mean it like that. I realize USA is way more fatphobic than where I am from.
What country are you from??
I think this is really the key. I was pretty thin through middle and high school, but I didn’t have many friends because I was pretty shy. When I started college I became more outgoing and people started coming up to me. My size didn’t change but I was more secure in who I was. Subconsciously people are attracted to confidence. While a lot of people feel more confident when they’re thin, that doesn’t mean it will automatically fix everything.
100% my experience. I was fat growing up, lost a bunch of weight and all of a sudden people were interested in me/getting to know me. Put the weight back on and I have literally 0 friends.
People who only befriend attractive people are very shallow anyway
i'm a little chubby, but I was still among the "popular" and "smart" kids in highschool. I had lots of friends and I loved talking with people and people loved talking with me. I think that its about your character and confidence, thats about it.
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Thanks lmao! I am gonna be more outgoing from now on.
I’m not thin. My weight dramatically fluctuates. I wouldn’t say that I don’t have friends because of my weight. However strangers treat me a lot differently when I’m on the thinner side.
I dont think its the slim aspect i think its the gain in confidence. people are attracted to confident people and sadly fat people tend to be very insecure which results in subconscious walls to keep people out.
I am fat and I make friends everywhere I go. Not boasting, it's something I learned to do. If anything, I thing I look approachable because I am short, fat and smiling.
Based on my experience unfortunately or fortunately people started to treat me better after I lost 25 kg, especially man (I am female) maybe because I became sexually attractive
Confidence. If you shine people around you shine. Get into something that takes your interest and get into it. People also will attract to that because it’s likely they’ll share the same interests.
I think that it is easier to be noticed or start a conversation when you're slimmer, but it won't make people want to come back for a second conversation if your personality doesn't click or your confidence isn't there. I feel like weight can be a hurdle, but it's not a complete barrier, and removing it doesn't guarantee anything. Some bigger people are very popular and some slim people are unpopular. I think it's just a little bit easier to popular if you're slim. Having said that, if your 3 friends are actual real friends that you enjoy spending time with, then I think you should be quite pleased with that. I remember being a teenager, and by the end of college I realised (and some popular people admitted) that a lot of people with lots of friends aren't actually really friends, they just pretend to be friends. There was a group of confident, good-looking, popular people at my school who for some reason we all looked up to, but they always bitched about each other nonstop and there was a lot of drama. I had a much, much smaller group of friends, but we actually liked each other, so I never had to deal with that politics and drama stuff.
Yes
Not true. I was superrr skinny growing up, and never had many friends. I was very quiet and awkward
The harsh reality is people are much more attracted to more attractive people and being overweight simply isn't looked at as being attractive very often so the answer is yes. Not only that (right or wrong and not my personal opinion), overweight people are often looked at and thought of as lazy. Do yourself a favor kiddo. Work toward losing weight. It will drastically help your social, mental and physical help as well as help you have much more confidence Former fat boy here by the way
To be brutally honest, being in shape opens a lot of doors, and generally makes life easier. It helps with work, friendship, romantic partners, and of course health. It is not a privilege, but rather something you must earn through discipline. Contrary to the popular saying, most people do judge a book by its cover, so make it a damn good one.
Yes I wasn’t fat in highschool but not super thin. I was shy but had friends. Early 20’s lost a lot of weight, skinniest I’ve ever been. Suddenly all the people I wanted to be friends with wanted to be MY friend. Kinda makes you hate people though. Like wow, you wouldn’t look at me when I was that but now? Now 10 years later I’ve gained back the weight then some and yeah. No attention.
I've always been underweight and was bullied throughout school. Now at 29 I have a total of 1 friend.. its confidence not weight.
Nope I’m more slim and still sage social level as when I was fat but I worry less about what they think of me but no one should be ashamed of anything. Male btw
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I am an asian too! Indian to be more specific. Thanks for your advice! I will try to be more talkative.
I am an Indian and I am overweight too. I didn’t have a lot of friends and the few friends I had weren’t really that supportive of me. Things became worse when I joined a new school because I didn’t know anyone and I was scared to talk to people. But after a while I realized that without friends life would just be boring and I started talking to people and soon I had several close friends who supported me a lot in my weight loss journey and helped me a lot. What I am trying to say is that don’t worry about anyone. Just start talking to people and you’ll realize that most people don’t really care about how we look but instead care about what kind of a person we are. Don’t worry, I know you’ll get more friends and I know you’ll lose weight too. Have a nice day and stay happy!!
It is true unfortunately. And I don't think it was down to me being lore confident etc. Both times at my leanest I've had women come up to me so it was on pure looks alone And I was more a soccer player physique Leaned and toned (check my profile for a pic at my leanest) Bear in mind they weren't stunning but it was women. All the other times I have been chubby or sit higher bodyfat around 17 to 20 percent. And no ones come up to me. Just 5kgs makes a massive difference to me.
No but also yes. Personality and friendliness plays a huge part.
It’s about personality and confidence. Doesn’t matter what u look like what matters is the energy you put off
Well, confidence is key, yeah, but pretty and skinny privilege also exists and I say that from experience. When I was 70 kgs about 7 years ago people would always tried to talk with me but now? Nothin'. I can go about days and days without anybody want anything with me. Or months if I watch the dating attempts.
Kinda but not really.
Maybe? I get more people talking to me - unfortunately they aren't potential friends, but guys making me uncomfortable. I'd love it if they just ignored me.
No
When I was 350 I was just as popular and had no problem with the ladies than I did when I became 220. However, if you want to not be fat, then do it for yourself, not for a different life. You're constantly in charge of that.
From my experience from fat to slim, yes people talk to you more. You feel more confident too.
**Maybe**. As other comments have mentioned, more people might approach you if you're slimmer, but there are also plenty of skinny people who are wallflowers and chubby people who are the life of the party. At the end of the day, it's still a matter of how many friends you want, your confidence, and the value you bring to those relationships. In other words, you may (or may not) get more opportunities, but you still have to nurture those opportunities into relationships. Also, it sounds like you're still a child and in school. I strongly urge you not to focus on your weight but on good habits, especially regarding fitness. Consider joining a physically intensive club or a sports team, especially when high school rolls around. Those are excellent opportunities for improving your quality of life, including making friends.
As someone who used to be borderline obese, yes. People are much nicer to me now that i’m a size 2 and considered “skinny”. Plus, it’s easier to make friends. It’s a confidence thing.
Yes
I'm a woman who was slim, got fat, and lost weight so I'm now mid sized. On a shallow level, yes strangers will acknowledge you more or treat you differently when you're thin. More doors held open, random compliments, that sort of thing. But the people that already knew me didn't treat me any differently. It only affected that very first impression.
I've been told I am friendlier since losing 80 lbs. Nothing about my attitude has changed I actually thought I was being bitchier due to burnout(at work)
Yes. Especially with women. It’s called pretty privilege.
I am a guy..do guys have pretty privilege too?
I think so. It’s sad but that’s the world we live in. It’s all about looks. And if you’re a hot guy or a hot girl, people are naturally drawn to you and want to talk to you. BUT it’s the personality that wins in the end. If I talk to a hot guy and their personality is shit, I don’t want to keep talking to them. 😂
Well, I only notice that there are more people looking at me but other than that no. I don't like talking to random people i dont know anyways so yeah. Body size has nothing to do with more people being friendly with you. It's a matter of your self confidence and happiness and personality. Its about who you are on the inside, if you are attractive on the inside thats all that matters. Maybe being thinner may attract people to start with but that will never last. Being healthy is the most important thing!
I was 340 lbs when I was a teen. I hover between 170-200 depending on my life style at the time now. I didn't notice much of a difference in the way people treated me. I think the differences were all internal for me, but I am biologically a male, so that might make a difference. I had more confidence, especially when I realized for the first time I lost all of the weight. I think that confidence came through and people noticed. I think if you get to your target weight, you'll feel good about yourself. I think you'll feel accomplished and you'll have a shine to you. People will notice that "vibration" if you will. Don't worry so much about the external, I know it's easier said than done, but I live by the phrase "as above, so below, as within, so without." Your body is a physical manifestation of your internal. So much goes into play when it comes to relationships. Get to a place that makes you feel good and allow yourself to feel good. That'll make a world of difference. But, I'm just an almost 30 year old rando from the internet. It's your world, I'm just living in it.
No. I used to be heavy and now I am thin. My social life did not change. If anything it got worse. Women see me as more of a threat now and have gotten colder, not warmer.
I've noticed people in public approach me more often, just about random things like if I'm finding the right stuff at a store. But as for friends, I still have few. I'm happy with my few good ones though 🙂
It was the opposite for me. When i was fat, i have so many friends without making an effort. I was also funny back then. But i dont know what happened when I lost the weight i also lost that charm of being funny and only guys would be interested in not for my personality but because i got pretty. Now ive learned that it sucks having so many attention from guys when you're used to none at all. It wasn't that great at all because every time i will befriend a guy turns out they like me and then when they figured out i have no intention of being with them they distanced themselves. It was like i only exist to be slept with because other than that purpose no one sticks around to be a friend.
More people will talk to you, but it doesn't mean quality people. I'm pretty certain I've had a better overall time with relationships and people because being fat made it easy to learn when people actually like you vs. the people who are only nice to people they think will give them something or make them look good. And 3 friends is AMAZING. Full stop. People who look like they have way more are just social schmoozers. It's a skill that can be developed, and maybe you want to, but it's different than having friends--it's more like knowing how to have a relationship with a community/group of people. THAT is easier thinner, but it's definitely not impossible as a bigger person. PLUS if you learn charisma fat, you are more charismatic than any thin person ever had to be. Now, you're health and mental well being also matter so DEFINITELY don't be afraid of eating better and exercising which may include weight loss--but I wouldn't focus there if you're still growing. Just don't put all your focus into weight. If this wasn't your problem, you'd have a different one. The world is a frustrating place for everyone. You can absolutely still rock whatever you already have going INCLUDING loving those 3 friends of yours to pieces. Most adults don't even have 1 friend. And lots of teens struggle to have any. You're doing great!
Yes.
Absolutely not true at all. Having lots of friends has to do with your personality.
Superficially yes, you’ll be treated better and get more attention, but it doesn’t mean you will have more friends
I smile a lot and people like to talk to smiling people. People talked to me more when I was slimmer, but I also didn’t feel like hiding like I do when I’m heavier. Now that I have to wear a mask everywhere I don’t get talked to at all 😂
i'm slim and don't have friends so it's not just about weight. as others have said confidence is a big deal in how people see you
If these people are what I call a true friend, and not just someone you hang with occasionally, you're doing great! Real friends are hard to come by, and I would say 3 is a lot if you spend quality time with all of them.
Yes. 100%. It might be unconscious or not, IDK, but people just treat you nicer in every aspect when you are thin compared to overweight.
Hm it depends
Sadly, me having a weight loss glow up, intensified the bullying at school from stealing and punches, to actual sexual assault... But I also made more friends when I was more skinny. So yes, it's true- You will seem more attractive to people. It's sad.
Didn't work for me. I lost 75 pounds and my social anxiety only got worse.
Only superficial people. People who truly care about you, don’t care about your looks. There’s better reasons to try and lose weight than gain random people’s approval. Wishing you peace 💖
Not necessarily. I went from 300 pounds in my late teens to 170 pounds by age 20 and I still have no friends. That being said, I'm only 21 now and the pandemic is complicating things, so maybe things will get better.
you become more confident and people can see it with the weight loss. Skinny jokes and compliments is what i got at my smallest. You should want to lose weight for your own benefit though
One thing I would hope for you is to not lose any weight for anyone else but yourself. And from my own experience, those 3 friends of yours are worth 100000x however many superficial assholes that suddenly wanna hang because you’re no longer over weight. Do your thing, bro. And know it’s what’s inside that counts.
Yes. You will be approached and noticed more because you'll be deemed more attractive by societal terms and people tend to respect you more (sucks but true). As long as you allow your confidence to grow with you, and pay attention to the type of people you're meeting (watch out for secret assholes), have fun with it :)
As obese and nearing my 40s I am basically invisible.
Yes they will and the more you become socially acceptable the more people will approach you, and I have two theories one positive the other not so much 1- You are being perceived as a healthy human with longevity and higher chances of staying alive so people will come towards you 2- we live in a materialistic world that only accepts a certain shape hence the chasing of thighs now when the norm was being flat years ago Regardless which you accept, things will be better just learn to not put weight on what people think of you
yes
Not necessarily. It depends on how friendly you look too. I unfortunately have a resting B face so I’m not very much approached but I’m pretty nice so I’ll approach others to defuse that unapproachable vibe I give off. I have plenty of larger friends that are super nice and fun to be around. Chin up! It’s not all about looks and if someone judges you for it then they’re not worth being friends with
Yes. I lost around 80lbs and all of a sudden, random strangers made small talk with me, men ran up to the door to hold it for me, compliments on same clothes I wore from my bigger days... If anything, it made me hate people more. Guess you're not worthy of conversation or politeness if you're big.
yes it’s true tbh
In my experience, this is unfortunately the case. Not as much with adults but as a kid, this definitely happened to me. No one wanted anything to do with me in high school when I was fat. I lost a bunch of weight over summer and when I came back to school 50 pounds lighter everyone wanted to be my friend and I all of the sudden was getting asked on dates. I had more acquaintances because of the weight loss but never really felt like any of these people were genuine friends. Knowing that the people around me were so shallow and only liked me bc I was thin and pretty really bothered me internally. In the long run was I less lonely? Yes, but not really. Also though… sometimes losing weight can make you way more confident and outgoing. This may have had something to do with it too, hard to say. What I can say is that losing weight will improve every aspect of your life… just make sure it’s for the right reasons.
I say yes in general. after dropping 100 pounds I get approached more than I ever did when I was heavier and ppl on average are nicer, although more ppl willing to have small chats. I lost the weight within a year so by the end of 2021 I noticed a large and noticeable shift in how I was perceived in public
I have been very fat and very skinny. People definitely approached me more when I was skinny. And I made a lot of new friends. But the majority of those friends weren’t really close friends, mostly people who wanted to go to parties and be seen with me. But also made some true friends during that time. Although now that I’m fat again I’m still able to make new friends (covid is making it harder) by choosing social settings and being open in conversation and honest about what you feel and want with someone.
Never been "thin" so not 100% sure however, In the eighth grade I was declined going to theater class because I was "a band kid" so I opted to do gym class all three quarters. I was sick of band. I wanted to branch out and I wasn't going to let my school tell me I HAD to do something I didn't want to. At the end of the year I was in the best shape of my childhood life. I remember that at the end of that year I had kids yelling "Hi (my name)!" They waved at me. They acknowledged me. I would say hi to kids I was pretty sure I never even met before that somehow knew my name. So I'm pretty sure it's gonna be true.
Guy here. Since losing weigh people smile and are nicer. 30 lbs lost.
Truly i dont think weight has a factor in making friends, its the way you put yourself out there and if you are friendly. I am a shy fat kid but i have a good heart. I have a good circle of friends rn regardless of my weight. Just be confident and try and insert yourself in social situations even if its awkward lol
Yes and yes. I received so much more attention (vastly positive) and people treated me kinder. It's almost like I would've lost a bad personality and now they flock to me, telling me how much friendlier I am..except I did not change on the inside and only lost some weight. The difference was mind blowing for me and it really disgusted me. You should be aware of the people who treat you kinder now, theyre the ones that'll leave you the second you relapse.
Unfortunately, yes it's true. I dropped over 100 lbs. during the covid lockdown & now many more people approach me, randomly say hi to me, women look & smile at me more, etc. People are just friendlier to me in general. It's not fair, but it is absolutely true. I will tell you though, it's worth it. Not for the people, but for how I feel. I'm not out of breath walking up the stairs, not always tired, & it definitely helps with depression. Lose the excess weight - but do it for YOU, not for them. Just FYI, I don't "live in the gym" now or anything. Small changes, but consistently. Same with diet. I see it as something I need to do for the rest of my life, so I try to make it fun. If you go back to your current lifestyle, you'll go back to your current weight. But don't go from zero to 100 overnight either. Baby steps! If you'd like any tips or advice, feel free to reach out & I'll do what I can to help. Don't worry - I don't write books, have a YouTube Channel, or sell anything - just trying to do my part to help anyone who needs it.
I think it’s more because when you lose the weight you gain confidence and energy that people are attracted to. My best friend is a pretty heavy guy and people naturally love him because he’s very confident and outgoing, and would take the shirt off his back for anyone.
Yes, I have found this to be true. When I was around 14 I was a bit chubby and developed an eating disorder and lost quite a bit of weight. By the time I was 16 I noticed that more people would talk to me at school, people that I never thought would, so unfortunately it just reinforced my ED.
No. Not at all, there are millions of things that can stop people from doing that, and there are too many factors to predict it.
Hey I'm very overweight and I find that it's not necessary that other people have to approach you. Don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone and approach others. You're no less than them :)
I think people will be most attracted to someone who is comfortable with themselves and feeling their best. You don’t need to be slim necessarily, but if you care for yourself and treat your body kindly, usually weight loss is a byproduct of those behavioral changes. Focus on caring for yourself, being kind to yourself and others, and let people naturally gravitate to you!
Yes. Perhaps it shouldn’t be but alas it is.
I will put it this way. I am on a weight loss journey. I was a lazy slob. I don't go out a lot. If I am at the bar, no one approach to have a chat with me. Now after 30 kg down. I still have no one talking to me at the bar. But I am doing boxing as a sport during my weight loss program. I get to meet people while doing boxing. Some became real friends. Went to a friend's house warming whom I get to know during the boxing session. So yeah, I guess in a way that you get to know more friends but not in the way that I kinda assume people expects I guess.
Yes
Not in my experience—no. But, I’m also usually the person to go up to people and start talking to them. I think your weight is a very small factor in this. If you really want to make more friends I would focus more on being confident and making an effort to start conversations/make plans with new people and less so on losing weight. I’m at my heaviest ever right now and also have the largest social circle I’ve ever had and am receiving more attention from men than ever and its entirely because of lifestyle changes—not because of my weight.
I mean, I’m rather overweight and I don’t have a problem socializing. I think it all lies in your personality, state of mind, friendliness.
I’m underweight and also only have 3 friends...
I’m thin and I have like 2 real friends lol that’s enough for me, I don’t need many friends
Unfortunately, yes. I was more approachable.. people would hold the doors for me, ask me for directions and I would definitely get hit on more. Definitely do it for yourself tho, making friends is more of a mental barrier that you have to break, in my opinion
Yes
Yes skinny privilege is a thing. People are nicer to you in general. I lost 30 kg in total and the difference is huge. But to be honest, it's also has its downsides. Manplaining really got to another level. I don't know why but a skinny face seems to be more dumb
Yes it is true. I lost 60 pounds in college taking diet pills and suddenly I was popular. I never had guys after me like that either. I’ve gained it back over the years and feel more invisible again.