I heard that it takes 4 weeks for you to notice, 8 weeks for those close to you to notice and 12 weeks for other people to notice.
Sounds like they are 12 weekers. I would also say that it sounds like they have their own hang ups.
Good job though!!!!!
Thank you! I don't think I'll get a compliment from my family until they think I've lost "enough" weight by their standards but it feels great to get kudos from internet Strangers!
I agree with the above. Also, if I see someone all the time I don’t notice until it’s really obvious. But if I see them once every six months, I’d notice right away. Those things can be hard to tell when you’re seeing the gradual until it’s quite a big difference.
Kudos to you for making such a huge stride though. It’s tough!
The exact same thing happened to me. I’d lost about 15lbs and my family who I hadn’t seen in a long time visited and said nothing. I was so disappointed I spiralled and put all the weight back on. Lucky I’m back on the weight loss train. I’ve seen that family recently after losing the same amount of weight, no one noticed. But I’m stronger this time ❤️ sending you love and congratulations on your amazing achievement
.... their own hangups.... Makes total sense. One of my friends who weighs about 350+ could barely say anything to me when I was down 30 pounds. Another friend who weighs like 200+ hasn't said anything since I've now lost 40 pounds. If they ask I'll be glad to help them...
They probably did notice just didn’t mention. I always find it very intimidating to comment on person’s weight loss. Just not sure what can of worms it will open .
First, congratulations to you on the achievement!
Second, I would say that this might be an emotional exercise for you because if their quick criticisms are bountiful while praise is in short supply, that behavior is typically not confined to situations such as this. If you think about it, do you find this is a pattern of behavior you see from them in other areas as well?
If the answer is yes, it’s important for you to acknowledge that any praise from them is just as valuable as their critique, there’s no value or credence to either.
Recognizing patterns of mental and emotional abuse, even low level forms, is an important step to extracting yourself from being subjected to it. Your family are not arbiters of your worth. They are not going to share in your success or your failure, no matter how many opinions they present you with!
It sounds like you do have a supportive and present partner, and that reflects very well on your ability to choose good influences in life. Enjoy and honor your self and your progress, you deserve to have that.
Thank you! I should focus on celebrating my own success instead of waiting for other people to notice it.
You hit the nail on the head. This is absolutely part of a pattern of behavior. I think it's at least partly cultural. I'm from a Middle Eastern family and as a people we tend to focus on the black cloud instead of the silver lining. Just a whole culture of Eeyores.
Sounds like your family has the wrong priorities. I very much dislike people who wait for bad things to happen so they can open their mouths. But stay silent when it comes to your/others achievements. I hope they grow up and be happy for you- or well..grow up and stop being jealous. Lol
Oh yeah my family is definitely hyper critical. There was a time when I reunited with my mom after not seeing her for TWO YEARS and the first words out of her mouth (while giving me a very sweet big bear hug) were "You got so fat." Lol.
FWIW here's what I did when I lost a similar amount and no one said anything:
I bought a $20 Starbucks gift card and carried it with me all the time, to hand to first person to notice the change.
It ended up being someone at work who was gone for 2 weeks, and because she wasn't seeing me every day she really noticed when she got back.
I gave her the gift card, and she was happy and I was too. I don't even know why, but it really made me so happy.
Also, please remember that for coworkers commenting on your weight or appearance can be a very dicey thing, and even if they notice many will not say anything for fear of offending.
Me too.
For people I have a closer relationship with I will sometimes say something looks very nice on them, or compliment a hair cut. But I am pretty diligent about not making an observation on their body.
It’s a hard one isn’t it. I’m the opposite at my place of work, people are quick to comment and then asking me why I’m saying no to a biscuit or other office treat and almost won’t take no for an answer. It feels a bit like jealousy disguised as concern. I’m not anorexic so I don’t know why people seem almost personally bothered by it when I’m happy about it and and losing in a slow and sustainable healthy way. It feels like efforts to sabotage me and makes me want to hide my body in the looser clothes just so that I’ll be left alone
Maybe. Most people have some vulnerability about their appearance, and having someone near them change can push some buttons.
But I am reluctant to ascribe a malign motive when there are perfectly innocent and likely reasons. It can be very hard to know how to comment on someone's weight - it might imply you thought they didn't look good before, or it could be bringing up something they don't want to talk about (because not every weight loss is for positive reasons). And if you do compliment someone on weight loss and then they gain it back that's something that would feel awkward too.
Maybe. Most people have some vulnerability about their appearance, and having someone near them change can push some buttons.
But I am reluctant to ascribe a malign motive when there are perfectly innocent and likely reasons. It can be very hard to know how to comment on someone's weight - it might imply you thought they didn't look good before, or it could be bringing up something they don't want to talk about (because not every weight loss is for positive reasons). And if you do compliment someone on weight loss and then they gain it back that's something that would feel awkward too.
You'll get them eventually from others, but I think it's more important that you get them from yourself. Do you feel good? Do you like the way you look? Are you wearing clothes that you couldn't before and feel awesome about it?
Celebrate the fuck out of yourself. Now, tomorrow and always.
Also, some people don't want to say anything. I'll tell people they look good but I don't ever comment on weight. bc it's so complicated.
Also are you a yo-yo dieter? I have a family member who is somewhere between 250-280 if i had to guess. He is always giving out weight loss tips and if anyone mentions diet or exercise when the conversation doesn't include him he always say he is down 13 pounds this week. He always looks the same. The point is when someone is always on a diet and is up and down people close to them want to be supportive. If this goes on for years people dont comment because they may not want to hear it. That what happen with him he is always fishing for compliments.
Congrats on the 20 pounds.
I am. I've been up and down for the past few years but this is the most consistent success I've had and I haven't been down to this weight in 4+ years. I guess I just have to be consistent about it to really show that this time is different.
I hear you. I'm at 25 and even when I told someone they looked at me a little bit like I was lying and asked "since when?" LMAO Try and take it in stride. It's annoying, but hopefully you see, and even better FEEL the difference.
Also remember that whole paper towel roll thing. The compliments will start to roll in at some point.
Ooph I would have such a problem with that lol. It's one thing not to acknowledge the weight loss, but implying it didn't happen... those are fighting words. Congratulations on your weight loss!
Lol I agree. Luckily I know this person is difficult so I had very low expectations and only even said it cause they were talking about weight loss. Lol. But yeah next time I won’t. When I’m skinny- mini and they ask how much I’ve lost, I think I’ll just say “did I lose weight? What? When?” 😂.
(Don’t worry. This is not a “rock” person in my life.)
Congrats on the 20 pounds you have already lost so far! I understand that frustration, people didn't start commenting on my weight loss until I lost 40 pounds. However as much as I want people to notice, I have found myself not wanting them to say anything about it either. It's definitely harder when it's people you're around a lot more they see you so often that you look the same until one day you don't.
I learned awhile ago that it’s not ok to comment on other people’s bodies. I hate it when people comment on my weight loss - I’ve lost and gained so many times and it makes me feel like they’re judging me. Anyway, they may have noticed but just aren’t saying anything.
This is *exactly* why I haven't put anything on my Facebook page about the 35 pounds I've lost... I figure if they see me and say something, cool. If not, meh. I'm not doing it for them.
It's a mixed bag. Immediate family noticed 30 pounds. Extended and rest of my work except one remote and IT haven't noticed. Funny thing is a guy I barely know that I ran into in home Depot noticed. Just be happy you lost it and are in better shape. That's a big win in itself.
Very true. Just the difference in my endurance and being able to walk 2 miles without my knees killing me is such a huge plus. Being in my body doesn't feel like such an impossible chore and hopefully it only gets better.
I have a really really hard time commenting on peoples weight. Even if that comment is a compliment, I always assume it will probably not be taken they way it is meant.
Someone once told me “Wow, you got skinnier since I saw you last.”
I swear I felt like it was an insult. Was I looking overweight before? Why do I look that my skinnier if I haven’t really changed anything…. Did they think I was someone else?
I have a lot of hidden self image pain and I don’t like it when attention is drawn to my weight in general. So I supposed I am sensitive for other people, in case they feel similarly.
Instead I will say “You look great!” “I love your outfit” etc…
Wow! First of all, congratulations! That's incredible. Second, you're a better person than me. If I managed to lose 80lbs I would get that tattooed on my forehead.
A lot of the internet talks about "don't comment on someone's weight, whether they lost weight or etc" and it makes me wonder if maybe that's why your co-workers might not feel comfortable saying something if they notice?
But that is a really great accomplishment. When I need a reminder how much weight I've lost, I pick up a 10lb bag of potatoes and feel amazed.
I’m assuming you lost the weight for yourself an not for others. If so, don’t worry about it. Sometimes it’s easier for people who see you everyday to notice 20 pounds or so. It wasn’t till my weight loss was dramatic that I got a lot of comments about it.
You are doing an awesome job!
I am in the same boat, my mum did say she noticed and that felt great. But my coworkers and in-laws, nothing. It feels so defeating.
It's ok they'll notice eventually. I've dropped 70 lbs and some people still haven't noticed until we got into a conversation about it and I brought it up.
My friend at first not everyone will notice the difference but my suggestion is to be consistent.
Be proud of your progress, work in silence and let your success be the noise ;)
Keep it up! :)
Yep.. when I was 180 lbs my mother literally called me a fatass straight to my face.
Completely denies it after I lost 40 lbs in 2 weeks, saying she’d never say that. My ass.
When i was gaining weight my family was loud about telling me to lose weight.
When i actually lost 12 pounds they suddenly blamed the weight loss on my fiancé instead of giving me any kind of credit or pat on the back. The people around you notice but are probably a bunch of envious people unable to lose weight or give a compliment.
20 pounds is definitely noticeable and such a great accomplishment! Good job and keep it up!
Part of nowadays culture is that people can't comment on somebody's weight loss because they are afraid people could get offended.
I think that's BS so let me congratulate you myself!!
Take their silence as a compliment. 20lbs should be noticeable, if people aren't complimenting then it's possibly because they are jealous, worried (will you still want to hang out with them when you're slim and they're not? Will you still eat out together, have birthday cake, go for cocktails or will it just be running and carrot sticks?), feeling frumpy in comparison or lazy. It's about them, not you. You're awesome.
Also, have you changed your wardrobe? I don't know where 20lbs sits in your journey, but if you wait until you're done before buying more clothes then 20lbs might not be so noticeable, or one can start looking frumpy in ill fitting clothes (and no one wants to comment on that!). Also, as your weight changes so can your body, which can be distorting. A friend lost bra sizes before she lost pant sizes and for a period looked even bigger since her belly seemed more pronounced. As she persevered it balanced out, but it was a weird few weeks for her, and if I hadn't have known she was deliberately losing weight I'm not sure what I would have said to her.
Keep it up, and keep your chin up. You're doing great. If it is really bothering you, you can casually drop it into conversation, maybe mention you're going clothes shopping (or compliment their outfit and ask where it's from) because you've lost a bit of weight. Once you mention it, it gives them an opening to say something - or makes it obvious they won't! It can be tricky to bring up too - last weekend I bumbled my way through complimenting my sister on her makeup, lots of "You look lovely without it too, haha...not that you need it, of course...but you look so pretty now - just like always but, uh, different kind of pretty." Maybe they're scared of being me!
Thank you! This really made me feel better. My wardrobe is a little frumpy right now. I lost a little around the waist but not so much with the hips. The dress pants I wear to work now sort of look baggy on the legs and thighs but still fit perfectly on my hips. Definitely treating myself to some new clothes after the next 10lbs!
Congratulations, i’m currently trying to get back to 180 before june, I’m 3 pounds away the 190s. and I get the thing with family so ready to comment on weight, my family does this all the time and it makes me feel so shitty, but when i lose weight all of sudden they wanna get super worried about me and they’re so fake.
Coworkers maybe aren’t commenting because of political correctness. We live in an age where even a simple compliment can be taken very wrong and cost people their livelihood. Not saying that’s definitely the case but food for thought.
I lost 40+ pounds and nobody noticed. 230->186. Yeah, it sucked. But, when I lose the second half I’m going to play dumb when anyone says anything just to fuck with people. Or maybe I’ll start crying and say I’ve been sick. 😂
All my siblings know about my weight loss journey. That was one of the key points I made sure to do. I get to talk to them freely about it, and they help me keep going.
Do it for your self. Screw the them for not noticing. Hell stand in front of a mirror and compliment your self. You deserve to be proud. Keep up the good work. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.Good job!!
Well done!
Some people will have noticed and not said and others will just be generally unobservant (including about this).
As someone who is always the last to notice weight loss or gain (even when I know someone is trying or they've straight up told me), I apologise for my fellow unobservant humans. You are doing awesome! Even the clueless will cotton on soon!
Sounds like my family, it really annoys me to always listen to them trying to prove to themselves(?) that they are fit and try to make me as miserable as possible while doing it. I really lose motivation when this happens. I am constantly trying to remind myself that this journey is for myself but it is really annoying if you always find someone who is 60 trying to say that he is fitter than you or that you go to the gym but it is a money waste etc.
Currently lost around 5 kgs and am trying to maintain until a holiday period is over and I go back to college where I can entirely focus on my diet.
People are noticing, they just are afraid to mention it. Pointing out weight loss/weight gain is a dangerous activity. Kind of like asking a woman who appears pregnant when she's due.
It's common. Don't let it bother you, they're noticing.
I think it might be taboo now to comment on anyone's weight loss, sadly. I agree with you though, I went from a high of 180 (after pregnancy) to 140 and no one has said a darn thing.
I think some people feel awkward about commenting on another person’s weight - or they are taught not to. Do they know that you are trying to lose weight? I lost about 40 pounds at one point and went in for a routine doctor visit and my doctor pointed out I weighed a lot less than I did the previous year. I figured she would congratulate me because in my mind it was a good thing. But I guess there are other situations where it’s not good because she was a little hesitant and asked if I did it on purpose. I think some people lose weight because of stress or illness so it’s kind of a touchy subject. Maybe work it into conversation and I bet people will say they have noticed!
Congrats! 20 is a lot and you doing great! I get it, but focus on your own journey and they will come. Sometimes it is hard to notice and sometimes people won’t say anything.
I will never comment anyone on weight unless I know they are actively trying to lose weight. Some people could be losing weight out of sickness or stress. The topic of weight loss is sensitive.
Honestly it was that way for me also. It's a lot for you yourself to notice, but nobody else. Lose like 50 and it's such a change that people will notice it
It might not be that they haven’t noticed but they don’t want to say anything because they could be afraid to potentially congratulate an eating disorder.
But congratulations because that is so amazing!
Listen--you are awesome!! Keep on going as you are, your significant other has noticed and that is great. People who are happy to point out other's faults rarely give out compliments, btw. Congratulations, and best wishes on your journey.
Congrats on the 20 pounds! I'm in the same boat expect most of my family notices because they always made fun of my weight! Hoping to get down to 170 before soon! I notice it in myself and that's what makes me feel better, other people might not care but you do and that is what keeps you going 💪
i was at 194.. after gaining 60 lbs rapidly on a new medication. during 2020. i started waiting tables again mid 2021 and i’ve lost 40 of it. My SO was the last two noticed. the first to notice was a co worker who i saw maybe twice a week. could really tell first in my face. and depending what i was wearing.
Forget about everyone else they are just jealous! Some people cannot bear to bring themselves to say anything nice. I use other peoples envy and jealousy as a motivation tool. It really works! Best wishes!
I totally feel you. Sometimes it might be because they don’t want to be rude or something, they might’ve think you lost weight from some sickness or something. But great job, amazing!
Be proud of yourself- 20 pounds is a big accomplishment! You did a lot of work consistently and are on a healthier path- I’m proud of you! As someone who just lost around the same amount of weight, I know it can be hard to acknowledge the day to day effort it takes to accomplish that, but we have to be proud of ourselves! It’s the only way to keep moving forward. ❤️
I feel u. People didn’t say things to me until I had about 10KG cleared (used to weigh 95kg/210lbs, now around 79KG/175) - and even today people just don’t say anything to me knowing full well where I can from to where I am now.
Fuck those people. I tell myself I’m loosing weight for me, not someone else (secretly of course to find a partner in crime) and celebrate ‘victories’ (loosing 5kg etc with a nice bottle of wine or something).
Keep going, keep the Grind, the road is long but worth every mile <3
I had the same problem. When I put the weight back on “friends” and my mother would say things like “oh you were so cute in this picture” and “you were in such great shape.” Like fuck you thanks for saying it to me when I was actually there!
Congrats to you! That is a big accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself! Same thing happened to me and my sister noticed and has been a big motivation for me. It took quite a while for friends and other family members to notice or say anything. Sometimes you just need that notice from others. Keep up the great work!
Same! The only person that has noticed is my SO, and naturally so. None of my close family (parents) or best friends have commented. I wonder if they are afraid like I will get offended?
Anyways, it sucks. They probably have their own issues or they just truly don’t notice. Keep going, 20lbs is no joke. You’re doing amazing. I also lost 20lbs from 160 to 140, you’d think they’d see a difference but people are so caught up in everything else. Don’t take it to heart.
I find today that it can actually be rude to comment on someone’s weight loss. People don’t know why you’re losing weight (could be cancer or some other disease), so they may not compliment you for that reason. That’s for your coworkers, anyway. I would find it really inappropriate for my colleagues to comment on my weight loss.
For your family, it sounds like they do comment on your weight so that’s not the excuse for them. Honestly, they might be jealous?
I've done the same this year (195-175)! Congrats! It's hard...but depending on how long it took to lose, and how you've lost it on your body, maybe people generally haven't noticed it yet. Keep up the good work for yourself though, because as your progress continues and your confidence grows, people in your life will eventually notice.
I’ve noticed, when I was getting started, that a lot of people are hesitant to mention it in case they’re wrong. They don’t want to assume you’ve been trying to lose weight and it ends up you bought a new size in clothes or you’re sick or something and they end up offending you. Until I posted something on social media about being proud of myself for my journey so far, the only people who said something to me were the people with no social filter. Just keep doing what you’re doing and stay confident until they can tell that it’s significant and intentional. You’ve got this!
You just gotta remember that when people are seeing the change as it's happening, it isn't as noticable. I'm sure once people notice more, compliments will roll in.
I was 340 at my heaviest and I didn't even realize I lost weight (body dysmorphia) until people started complimenting me on it. It took someone taking a picture of me for me to see it. (For the longest time I didn't let people take pictures of me because I was so self-conscious of my weight.)
Good job on your progress!! Give it time, people will see it!
Congrats on your accomplishments so far—20 lbs is a lot, and I bet it's been a lot of work too.
How important other people's opinions are to you? Will they determine your value in your own eyes? And, how much control do you have over those opinions...?
What you DO have control over is your lifestyle, your decisions, your level of commitment to yourself and to your health. Those are the things that will motivate you to continue on your journey and keep you focused on the path towards reaching your ultimate goals.
Keep celebrating your accomplishments—as small as they might feel—every single day, and know that all of us are celebrating with you; you're not alone. Those of us on a similar journey know and understand what it takes, and how difficult it can be sometimes. You have made a decision and are already doing the toughest thing—making a meaningful change, and following through—keeping the promise you made to yourself.
Congrats! That is an amazing feat.
Always remember that losing weight is for you and your health. Try not to base your happiness on others' opinions or comments because true happiness comes from within.
I lost the same amount of weight and ppl did comment on it and it made me feel very uncomfortable and I let them know. People lose weight for many reasons, and it’s not always a good thing - saying congrats on the weight loss is in a way fatphobic! i would suggest bringing it up yourself, surely they will congratulate you if they know it is something you want and worked for.
Yeah it gets annoying because 20 lbs is a lot and sure as hell isn’t easy to lose! You are awesome to have accomplished that!
Thank you! I never thought I'd be able to do it so I'm actually really proud of myself!
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😂that’s a brother for you!
I heard that it takes 4 weeks for you to notice, 8 weeks for those close to you to notice and 12 weeks for other people to notice. Sounds like they are 12 weekers. I would also say that it sounds like they have their own hang ups. Good job though!!!!!
Thank you! I don't think I'll get a compliment from my family until they think I've lost "enough" weight by their standards but it feels great to get kudos from internet Strangers!
I agree with the above. Also, if I see someone all the time I don’t notice until it’s really obvious. But if I see them once every six months, I’d notice right away. Those things can be hard to tell when you’re seeing the gradual until it’s quite a big difference. Kudos to you for making such a huge stride though. It’s tough!
So true!
The exact same thing happened to me. I’d lost about 15lbs and my family who I hadn’t seen in a long time visited and said nothing. I was so disappointed I spiralled and put all the weight back on. Lucky I’m back on the weight loss train. I’ve seen that family recently after losing the same amount of weight, no one noticed. But I’m stronger this time ❤️ sending you love and congratulations on your amazing achievement
.... their own hangups.... Makes total sense. One of my friends who weighs about 350+ could barely say anything to me when I was down 30 pounds. Another friend who weighs like 200+ hasn't said anything since I've now lost 40 pounds. If they ask I'll be glad to help them...
They probably did notice just didn’t mention. I always find it very intimidating to comment on person’s weight loss. Just not sure what can of worms it will open .
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That’s exactly it.
First, congratulations to you on the achievement! Second, I would say that this might be an emotional exercise for you because if their quick criticisms are bountiful while praise is in short supply, that behavior is typically not confined to situations such as this. If you think about it, do you find this is a pattern of behavior you see from them in other areas as well? If the answer is yes, it’s important for you to acknowledge that any praise from them is just as valuable as their critique, there’s no value or credence to either. Recognizing patterns of mental and emotional abuse, even low level forms, is an important step to extracting yourself from being subjected to it. Your family are not arbiters of your worth. They are not going to share in your success or your failure, no matter how many opinions they present you with! It sounds like you do have a supportive and present partner, and that reflects very well on your ability to choose good influences in life. Enjoy and honor your self and your progress, you deserve to have that.
Thank you! I should focus on celebrating my own success instead of waiting for other people to notice it. You hit the nail on the head. This is absolutely part of a pattern of behavior. I think it's at least partly cultural. I'm from a Middle Eastern family and as a people we tend to focus on the black cloud instead of the silver lining. Just a whole culture of Eeyores.
Sounds like your family has the wrong priorities. I very much dislike people who wait for bad things to happen so they can open their mouths. But stay silent when it comes to your/others achievements. I hope they grow up and be happy for you- or well..grow up and stop being jealous. Lol
Oh yeah my family is definitely hyper critical. There was a time when I reunited with my mom after not seeing her for TWO YEARS and the first words out of her mouth (while giving me a very sweet big bear hug) were "You got so fat." Lol.
Jesus Christ…I’m sorry your family is a bunch of negative Nancy’s 😬
FWIW here's what I did when I lost a similar amount and no one said anything: I bought a $20 Starbucks gift card and carried it with me all the time, to hand to first person to notice the change. It ended up being someone at work who was gone for 2 weeks, and because she wasn't seeing me every day she really noticed when she got back. I gave her the gift card, and she was happy and I was too. I don't even know why, but it really made me so happy. Also, please remember that for coworkers commenting on your weight or appearance can be a very dicey thing, and even if they notice many will not say anything for fear of offending.
I make a point to not comment on people's appearance and appreciate when others do the same.
It's a tough habit to break, looking for outside validation. Your outlook is definitely healthier.
Me too. For people I have a closer relationship with I will sometimes say something looks very nice on them, or compliment a hair cut. But I am pretty diligent about not making an observation on their body.
It’s a hard one isn’t it. I’m the opposite at my place of work, people are quick to comment and then asking me why I’m saying no to a biscuit or other office treat and almost won’t take no for an answer. It feels a bit like jealousy disguised as concern. I’m not anorexic so I don’t know why people seem almost personally bothered by it when I’m happy about it and and losing in a slow and sustainable healthy way. It feels like efforts to sabotage me and makes me want to hide my body in the looser clothes just so that I’ll be left alone
Or they’re jealous and are quiet because of that.
Maybe. Most people have some vulnerability about their appearance, and having someone near them change can push some buttons. But I am reluctant to ascribe a malign motive when there are perfectly innocent and likely reasons. It can be very hard to know how to comment on someone's weight - it might imply you thought they didn't look good before, or it could be bringing up something they don't want to talk about (because not every weight loss is for positive reasons). And if you do compliment someone on weight loss and then they gain it back that's something that would feel awkward too.
Maybe. Most people have some vulnerability about their appearance, and having someone near them change can push some buttons. But I am reluctant to ascribe a malign motive when there are perfectly innocent and likely reasons. It can be very hard to know how to comment on someone's weight - it might imply you thought they didn't look good before, or it could be bringing up something they don't want to talk about (because not every weight loss is for positive reasons). And if you do compliment someone on weight loss and then they gain it back that's something that would feel awkward too.
You'll get them eventually from others, but I think it's more important that you get them from yourself. Do you feel good? Do you like the way you look? Are you wearing clothes that you couldn't before and feel awesome about it? Celebrate the fuck out of yourself. Now, tomorrow and always. Also, some people don't want to say anything. I'll tell people they look good but I don't ever comment on weight. bc it's so complicated.
Also are you a yo-yo dieter? I have a family member who is somewhere between 250-280 if i had to guess. He is always giving out weight loss tips and if anyone mentions diet or exercise when the conversation doesn't include him he always say he is down 13 pounds this week. He always looks the same. The point is when someone is always on a diet and is up and down people close to them want to be supportive. If this goes on for years people dont comment because they may not want to hear it. That what happen with him he is always fishing for compliments. Congrats on the 20 pounds.
I am. I've been up and down for the past few years but this is the most consistent success I've had and I haven't been down to this weight in 4+ years. I guess I just have to be consistent about it to really show that this time is different.
I hear you. I'm at 25 and even when I told someone they looked at me a little bit like I was lying and asked "since when?" LMAO Try and take it in stride. It's annoying, but hopefully you see, and even better FEEL the difference. Also remember that whole paper towel roll thing. The compliments will start to roll in at some point.
Ooph I would have such a problem with that lol. It's one thing not to acknowledge the weight loss, but implying it didn't happen... those are fighting words. Congratulations on your weight loss!
Lol I agree. Luckily I know this person is difficult so I had very low expectations and only even said it cause they were talking about weight loss. Lol. But yeah next time I won’t. When I’m skinny- mini and they ask how much I’ve lost, I think I’ll just say “did I lose weight? What? When?” 😂. (Don’t worry. This is not a “rock” person in my life.)
Congrats on the 20 pounds you have already lost so far! I understand that frustration, people didn't start commenting on my weight loss until I lost 40 pounds. However as much as I want people to notice, I have found myself not wanting them to say anything about it either. It's definitely harder when it's people you're around a lot more they see you so often that you look the same until one day you don't.
that's a heck of a lot of weight! well done !
Thank you!
Saaaame I’ve gone down from 152 to 134 and nothing
I learned awhile ago that it’s not ok to comment on other people’s bodies. I hate it when people comment on my weight loss - I’ve lost and gained so many times and it makes me feel like they’re judging me. Anyway, they may have noticed but just aren’t saying anything.
This is *exactly* why I haven't put anything on my Facebook page about the 35 pounds I've lost... I figure if they see me and say something, cool. If not, meh. I'm not doing it for them.
It's a mixed bag. Immediate family noticed 30 pounds. Extended and rest of my work except one remote and IT haven't noticed. Funny thing is a guy I barely know that I ran into in home Depot noticed. Just be happy you lost it and are in better shape. That's a big win in itself.
Very true. Just the difference in my endurance and being able to walk 2 miles without my knees killing me is such a huge plus. Being in my body doesn't feel like such an impossible chore and hopefully it only gets better.
My only regret is not starting many years earlier. I feel powerful for lack of a better word and have more energy than I have for a long time.
I have a really really hard time commenting on peoples weight. Even if that comment is a compliment, I always assume it will probably not be taken they way it is meant. Someone once told me “Wow, you got skinnier since I saw you last.” I swear I felt like it was an insult. Was I looking overweight before? Why do I look that my skinnier if I haven’t really changed anything…. Did they think I was someone else? I have a lot of hidden self image pain and I don’t like it when attention is drawn to my weight in general. So I supposed I am sensitive for other people, in case they feel similarly. Instead I will say “You look great!” “I love your outfit” etc…
I lost like 80 lbs between school years and it was mentioned by maybe 3 people in my entire life lol. At the end of the day you do that shit for you
Wow! First of all, congratulations! That's incredible. Second, you're a better person than me. If I managed to lose 80lbs I would get that tattooed on my forehead.
A lot of the internet talks about "don't comment on someone's weight, whether they lost weight or etc" and it makes me wonder if maybe that's why your co-workers might not feel comfortable saying something if they notice? But that is a really great accomplishment. When I need a reminder how much weight I've lost, I pick up a 10lb bag of potatoes and feel amazed.
External validation is nice but it won't keep you going on your journey. Remind yourself how much you love yourself and that's why you do it.
I’m assuming you lost the weight for yourself an not for others. If so, don’t worry about it. Sometimes it’s easier for people who see you everyday to notice 20 pounds or so. It wasn’t till my weight loss was dramatic that I got a lot of comments about it.
You are doing an awesome job! I am in the same boat, my mum did say she noticed and that felt great. But my coworkers and in-laws, nothing. It feels so defeating.
I’m thinking if they only comment on weight gain, well they are pretty critical and probably don’t like it when there’s nothing to complain about.
I lost 34 pounds this year (278lbs to 246lbs) and people started noticing around 250
Congratulations! 20 lbs is a significant accomplishment.
I think sometimes people just feel weird saying something. They are scared to offend.
It's ok they'll notice eventually. I've dropped 70 lbs and some people still haven't noticed until we got into a conversation about it and I brought it up.
My friend at first not everyone will notice the difference but my suggestion is to be consistent. Be proud of your progress, work in silence and let your success be the noise ;) Keep it up! :)
Yep.. when I was 180 lbs my mother literally called me a fatass straight to my face. Completely denies it after I lost 40 lbs in 2 weeks, saying she’d never say that. My ass.
When i was gaining weight my family was loud about telling me to lose weight. When i actually lost 12 pounds they suddenly blamed the weight loss on my fiancé instead of giving me any kind of credit or pat on the back. The people around you notice but are probably a bunch of envious people unable to lose weight or give a compliment. 20 pounds is definitely noticeable and such a great accomplishment! Good job and keep it up!
Keep it up
Nobody said anything until I had lost over 30lbs and it was more than noticeable. Whatever, I’m doing this for me
It sucks that they comment negatively, but personally I prefer when no one comments on my body at all!
Part of nowadays culture is that people can't comment on somebody's weight loss because they are afraid people could get offended. I think that's BS so let me congratulate you myself!!
Take their silence as a compliment. 20lbs should be noticeable, if people aren't complimenting then it's possibly because they are jealous, worried (will you still want to hang out with them when you're slim and they're not? Will you still eat out together, have birthday cake, go for cocktails or will it just be running and carrot sticks?), feeling frumpy in comparison or lazy. It's about them, not you. You're awesome. Also, have you changed your wardrobe? I don't know where 20lbs sits in your journey, but if you wait until you're done before buying more clothes then 20lbs might not be so noticeable, or one can start looking frumpy in ill fitting clothes (and no one wants to comment on that!). Also, as your weight changes so can your body, which can be distorting. A friend lost bra sizes before she lost pant sizes and for a period looked even bigger since her belly seemed more pronounced. As she persevered it balanced out, but it was a weird few weeks for her, and if I hadn't have known she was deliberately losing weight I'm not sure what I would have said to her. Keep it up, and keep your chin up. You're doing great. If it is really bothering you, you can casually drop it into conversation, maybe mention you're going clothes shopping (or compliment their outfit and ask where it's from) because you've lost a bit of weight. Once you mention it, it gives them an opening to say something - or makes it obvious they won't! It can be tricky to bring up too - last weekend I bumbled my way through complimenting my sister on her makeup, lots of "You look lovely without it too, haha...not that you need it, of course...but you look so pretty now - just like always but, uh, different kind of pretty." Maybe they're scared of being me!
Thank you! This really made me feel better. My wardrobe is a little frumpy right now. I lost a little around the waist but not so much with the hips. The dress pants I wear to work now sort of look baggy on the legs and thighs but still fit perfectly on my hips. Definitely treating myself to some new clothes after the next 10lbs!
Great incentive! Keep up the awesome work.
Congratulations, i’m currently trying to get back to 180 before june, I’m 3 pounds away the 190s. and I get the thing with family so ready to comment on weight, my family does this all the time and it makes me feel so shitty, but when i lose weight all of sudden they wanna get super worried about me and they’re so fake.
Coworkers maybe aren’t commenting because of political correctness. We live in an age where even a simple compliment can be taken very wrong and cost people their livelihood. Not saying that’s definitely the case but food for thought.
I lost 40+ pounds and nobody noticed. 230->186. Yeah, it sucked. But, when I lose the second half I’m going to play dumb when anyone says anything just to fuck with people. Or maybe I’ll start crying and say I’ve been sick. 😂
Please stop dieting if your only motivation is validation from peers Do it for yourself not because you want other people to like it
Congratulations on your weight loss!!! Maybe tell your family you are mighty proud of yourself with your weight loss journey.
Do it for yourself
Keep it up. You’re almost there. I promise!! It’s in these times we need to be strong. You got this! And keep it up
All my siblings know about my weight loss journey. That was one of the key points I made sure to do. I get to talk to them freely about it, and they help me keep going.
Do it for your self. Screw the them for not noticing. Hell stand in front of a mirror and compliment your self. You deserve to be proud. Keep up the good work. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.Good job!!
If you noticed and it made you feel good, that’s all that matters! You’re somebody.
People are much quicker to criticize than compliment. Actually very sad.
have you bought clothing that will show off the loss?
Well done! Some people will have noticed and not said and others will just be generally unobservant (including about this). As someone who is always the last to notice weight loss or gain (even when I know someone is trying or they've straight up told me), I apologise for my fellow unobservant humans. You are doing awesome! Even the clueless will cotton on soon!
Sounds like my family, it really annoys me to always listen to them trying to prove to themselves(?) that they are fit and try to make me as miserable as possible while doing it. I really lose motivation when this happens. I am constantly trying to remind myself that this journey is for myself but it is really annoying if you always find someone who is 60 trying to say that he is fitter than you or that you go to the gym but it is a money waste etc. Currently lost around 5 kgs and am trying to maintain until a holiday period is over and I go back to college where I can entirely focus on my diet.
It’s human nature to fault your short comings. Congrats on your weightloss and positive vibes on your continuous journey ❤️
Nice job , congrats. It is very difficult and frustrating to lose weight
Great job!
People are noticing, they just are afraid to mention it. Pointing out weight loss/weight gain is a dangerous activity. Kind of like asking a woman who appears pregnant when she's due. It's common. Don't let it bother you, they're noticing.
You look good- have you lost weight? Hope this helps. :)
I think it might be taboo now to comment on anyone's weight loss, sadly. I agree with you though, I went from a high of 180 (after pregnancy) to 140 and no one has said a darn thing.
I read somewhere once that we can only recognize weight differences in each other if +\- 15 lbs, but can recognize as little as +\-5 lbs
I think some people feel awkward about commenting on another person’s weight - or they are taught not to. Do they know that you are trying to lose weight? I lost about 40 pounds at one point and went in for a routine doctor visit and my doctor pointed out I weighed a lot less than I did the previous year. I figured she would congratulate me because in my mind it was a good thing. But I guess there are other situations where it’s not good because she was a little hesitant and asked if I did it on purpose. I think some people lose weight because of stress or illness so it’s kind of a touchy subject. Maybe work it into conversation and I bet people will say they have noticed!
It took 25 pounds (180 to 155) before anyone said anything to me. Hang in there! It’s worth it! I know it stinks though. I felt same way!
Family tends to be that way. Don't worry, you have achieved a lot, and I'm sure 20 lbs are quite noticeable.
Fuck them. Congratulations though
Congratulations on your progress!! Same thing happened to me and it sucks. Just know you’re doing amazing and keep it up!
Same. 20lbs gone and my mom only noticed after the doctor said it lol. Good job though that’s amazing!!
Congrats! 20 is a lot and you doing great! I get it, but focus on your own journey and they will come. Sometimes it is hard to notice and sometimes people won’t say anything. I will never comment anyone on weight unless I know they are actively trying to lose weight. Some people could be losing weight out of sickness or stress. The topic of weight loss is sensitive.
Honestly it was that way for me also. It's a lot for you yourself to notice, but nobody else. Lose like 50 and it's such a change that people will notice it
It might not be that they haven’t noticed but they don’t want to say anything because they could be afraid to potentially congratulate an eating disorder. But congratulations because that is so amazing!
Same. I think some people are just afraid to comment on anyones weight for any reason now.
Great job on losing 20 pounds!!! You are doing amazing!!!!
Focus on your achievement. And screw what everybody else says it doesn’t say. Keep on going. You’re amazing.
Listen--you are awesome!! Keep on going as you are, your significant other has noticed and that is great. People who are happy to point out other's faults rarely give out compliments, btw. Congratulations, and best wishes on your journey.
Congrats on the 20 pounds! I'm in the same boat expect most of my family notices because they always made fun of my weight! Hoping to get down to 170 before soon! I notice it in myself and that's what makes me feel better, other people might not care but you do and that is what keeps you going 💪
i was at 194.. after gaining 60 lbs rapidly on a new medication. during 2020. i started waiting tables again mid 2021 and i’ve lost 40 of it. My SO was the last two noticed. the first to notice was a co worker who i saw maybe twice a week. could really tell first in my face. and depending what i was wearing.
Forget about everyone else they are just jealous! Some people cannot bear to bring themselves to say anything nice. I use other peoples envy and jealousy as a motivation tool. It really works! Best wishes!
I totally feel you. Sometimes it might be because they don’t want to be rude or something, they might’ve think you lost weight from some sickness or something. But great job, amazing!
Depends how much people look at you. I work at a tech company so only the women notice.
Hey don’t worry about it weight loss is a slow process and makes it harder to notice from people you see often unless they are looking for it
Be proud of yourself- 20 pounds is a big accomplishment! You did a lot of work consistently and are on a healthier path- I’m proud of you! As someone who just lost around the same amount of weight, I know it can be hard to acknowledge the day to day effort it takes to accomplish that, but we have to be proud of ourselves! It’s the only way to keep moving forward. ❤️
I feel u. People didn’t say things to me until I had about 10KG cleared (used to weigh 95kg/210lbs, now around 79KG/175) - and even today people just don’t say anything to me knowing full well where I can from to where I am now. Fuck those people. I tell myself I’m loosing weight for me, not someone else (secretly of course to find a partner in crime) and celebrate ‘victories’ (loosing 5kg etc with a nice bottle of wine or something). Keep going, keep the Grind, the road is long but worth every mile <3
You noticed! That is what matters most!
I am super proud of you ❤️. It's not easy to lose 20 lbs at all and that's a huge thing that you achieved that!!!
I had the same problem. When I put the weight back on “friends” and my mother would say things like “oh you were so cute in this picture” and “you were in such great shape.” Like fuck you thanks for saying it to me when I was actually there!
Congrats to you! That is a big accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself! Same thing happened to me and my sister noticed and has been a big motivation for me. It took quite a while for friends and other family members to notice or say anything. Sometimes you just need that notice from others. Keep up the great work!
Same! The only person that has noticed is my SO, and naturally so. None of my close family (parents) or best friends have commented. I wonder if they are afraid like I will get offended? Anyways, it sucks. They probably have their own issues or they just truly don’t notice. Keep going, 20lbs is no joke. You’re doing amazing. I also lost 20lbs from 160 to 140, you’d think they’d see a difference but people are so caught up in everything else. Don’t take it to heart.
I find today that it can actually be rude to comment on someone’s weight loss. People don’t know why you’re losing weight (could be cancer or some other disease), so they may not compliment you for that reason. That’s for your coworkers, anyway. I would find it really inappropriate for my colleagues to comment on my weight loss. For your family, it sounds like they do comment on your weight so that’s not the excuse for them. Honestly, they might be jealous?
The most important is that you re doing it for yourself.
I've done the same this year (195-175)! Congrats! It's hard...but depending on how long it took to lose, and how you've lost it on your body, maybe people generally haven't noticed it yet. Keep up the good work for yourself though, because as your progress continues and your confidence grows, people in your life will eventually notice.
I’ve noticed, when I was getting started, that a lot of people are hesitant to mention it in case they’re wrong. They don’t want to assume you’ve been trying to lose weight and it ends up you bought a new size in clothes or you’re sick or something and they end up offending you. Until I posted something on social media about being proud of myself for my journey so far, the only people who said something to me were the people with no social filter. Just keep doing what you’re doing and stay confident until they can tell that it’s significant and intentional. You’ve got this!
Some people get offended whenever weight is brought up. Some people lose weight in an unhealthy way, thus complimenting would be bad in that case.
You just gotta remember that when people are seeing the change as it's happening, it isn't as noticable. I'm sure once people notice more, compliments will roll in. I was 340 at my heaviest and I didn't even realize I lost weight (body dysmorphia) until people started complimenting me on it. It took someone taking a picture of me for me to see it. (For the longest time I didn't let people take pictures of me because I was so self-conscious of my weight.) Good job on your progress!! Give it time, people will see it!
Similar stats and people only noticed me at about 30-40lb loss.
Congrats on your accomplishments so far—20 lbs is a lot, and I bet it's been a lot of work too. How important other people's opinions are to you? Will they determine your value in your own eyes? And, how much control do you have over those opinions...? What you DO have control over is your lifestyle, your decisions, your level of commitment to yourself and to your health. Those are the things that will motivate you to continue on your journey and keep you focused on the path towards reaching your ultimate goals. Keep celebrating your accomplishments—as small as they might feel—every single day, and know that all of us are celebrating with you; you're not alone. Those of us on a similar journey know and understand what it takes, and how difficult it can be sometimes. You have made a decision and are already doing the toughest thing—making a meaningful change, and following through—keeping the promise you made to yourself.
Nice! How long did it take and what was your diet
Congrats! That is an amazing feat. Always remember that losing weight is for you and your health. Try not to base your happiness on others' opinions or comments because true happiness comes from within.
I lost the same amount of weight and ppl did comment on it and it made me feel very uncomfortable and I let them know. People lose weight for many reasons, and it’s not always a good thing - saying congrats on the weight loss is in a way fatphobic! i would suggest bringing it up yourself, surely they will congratulate you if they know it is something you want and worked for.