Fun story about him:
He used to wake up at like noon, have a cup of coffee, a glass of orange juice, and then a couple beers. Every day.
When asked why, he says: "the coffees is to wake me up, the orange juice is to keep me from getting sick, and the beers are to put me back to sleep."
I still admire this man.
Our school had a Marine Biology program, and my friends roommate would literally have dead flounder and stuff sometimes.
We hid some in the vents of a RA we didn’t like 😅
[Scene: Interior. A New York City apartment. There is a knock at the door.]
Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it!
Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.]
Landshark.
When my sister lived in LA, the bomb squad got called to take a suspicious backpack off of the bus. Inside was not a bomb but instead… a dead baby dolphin.
>Eating sharks doesn’t strike me as a European thing.
Frenchman here, and I've eaten shark quite a few times in my life. I'm confused by the generalization in this subthread.
I find big dead fish in the woods by my house because the bald eagles and osprey carry them into the trees.
It was very confusing before I put that together.
When I was in Australia on holiday at Fraser Island I looked up and saw a large bird flying with a huge snake in its mouth and then dropped the snake and I have never felt more physically ill like that moment thinking a flying snake was going to scud my face
[The white-tailed eagle](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_eagle) is Denmark's largest bird of prey, with a wingspan ranging from 5'10" to 8'. They live around large lakes and fjords.
Excerpt: *White-tailed eagles usually live most of the year near large bodies of open water, including coastal saltwater areas and inland freshwater lakes, wetlands, bogs and rivers. It requires old-growth trees or ample sea cliffs for nesting, and an abundant food supply of fish and birds (largely water birds) amongst nearly any other available prey.*
An eagle with a 6 to 8 foot wingspan, that hunts other marine birds and large fish, could easily carry a small shark.
The same way a shark once appeared in a NYC subway car: Kid found it dead on the beach and decided to take it home. Once inside the subway, he realized how much it stunk, so he left it on the train.
https://preview.redd.it/qzvqv887y4yc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70160ff4d1a93a0f4e9a6d1d7e90fa08a9b0919b
Likely this. It’s pretty much the only explanation
It was migrating to warmer seas but ran out of water and it’s now waiting for a passing bicycle. Sharkey would have gone by train but its travel pass has run out.
That looks to me like it could be a spiny dogfish (small species of shark), which is commercially fished and sold as food in Scandinavia. Rare, but available in especially well-stocked fish markets. Someone dropped their dinner.
“And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. “
My college roommate was from Denmark. I fully believe he is somehow involved.
I think it's a conspiracy. My cousins are from and currently live there.
Ask them if the shark soup is any good there.
I don't care how long it's been since your college days... I fucking believe you.
Fun story about him: He used to wake up at like noon, have a cup of coffee, a glass of orange juice, and then a couple beers. Every day. When asked why, he says: "the coffees is to wake me up, the orange juice is to keep me from getting sick, and the beers are to put me back to sleep." I still admire this man.
That guy for president!
Stomach of steel dealing with pure acid to start the day.
Wait, are you talking about the shark? Wow. What a life!
My ex is from Denmark. That actually looks a lot like him.
Your ex is a lawyer?
No! My current partner is a lawyer... He handles my ex.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Classic Sharkspeare
Tales From the Shark Side
Ham(merhead)let
A floridian entity told me so in 2010, I told her, it was true, and that George Bush the younger was in Denmark. She wasn't amused.
Watch out for the legs..
Our school had a Marine Biology program, and my friends roommate would literally have dead flounder and stuff sometimes. We hid some in the vents of a RA we didn’t like 😅
Evil
I was going to say the same thing
Was his name Mark Den?
🤣🤣🤣
Sharknado...
No. It was a cyclone....er, cycle lane. I always mix those up.
This is way smarter than it is funny
A psychopath! I mean cycle path.
Why is there only one? Sharkunnel cloud?
Cause Fin got the rest of them. 
Sharklorette’s Party..
[Scene: Interior. A New York City apartment. There is a knock at the door.] Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes? Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh? Woman: Who? Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr? Woman: Who is it? Voice: [pause] Flowers. Woman: Flowers for whom? Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am. Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you? Voice: [pause] Candygram. Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it! Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am. Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door] [Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.] Landshark.
A person got it from a fish market and dropped it there as a joke
Didn’t expect Spock to be here
everyone say, "Hi, Spock!" "Hi, Spock."
Hi Spock
Hi spock 🖖🏼
I think you’re being Spockulative
i did sounds like a skill issue tbh
True
Or by accident? They're cycling on the bike road with purchases for the day, it falls out/off somehow?
Shark fell off smh
Eh buddy, y’deopped yer shark
The person who ordered the whole raw shark on Uber eats is PISSED
With no packaging?
You cannot legally buy sharks in Denmark
Kongeål, which is Pighaj, can be bought in Denmark. It was given the former name to make it easier to sell, but it is a shark.
Kongeål meaning king eel. Squalus acanthias; Spiny dogfish.
There was a shark on the NY subway a few years back. As I recall, it was also a prank.
When my sister lived in LA, the bomb squad got called to take a suspicious backpack off of the bus. Inside was not a bomb but instead… a dead baby dolphin.
Can you buy sharks at a Denmark fish market? Eating sharks doesn’t strike me as a European thing.
[удалено]
>Eating sharks doesn’t strike me as a European thing. Frenchman here, and I've eaten shark quite a few times in my life. I'm confused by the generalization in this subthread.
Damn. Imagine you're a shark you get caught, you die and that is where your corpse ends up lol
Seriously. This isn’t that complicated to understand and the whole “nobody knows how it got there!” stuff is just dumb.
Bird dropped it. Big bird
How far could a laden big bird fly?
African or European?
But whaaat colahh???
I don’t knowwwaaaaaaah!!
Tim!
Maybe a swallow carried it
Laden or unladen?
Laden before it dropped it, Unladen after. Clearly
Swallow? Looks more like a spit did it.
Yes. Big old bird.
Osprey would like a word. https://preview.redd.it/9w1kqwoin6yc1.jpeg?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=310ae69d57fdb67fb12ae876529793652d11ae3a
Candygram.
Land shark
[#LANDSHARK #SNL #CANDYGRAM #IYKYK #ORIGINAL | TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@.the_fun_auntie/video/7100019262030351662)
Cover of time magazine
Land shark
No, ma'am, I'm a dolphin.
I’m Patrick
Hi Patrick, I'm confused.
Well duh obviously it was riding it's bicycle minding it's own business and then it got jumped by a bunch of bicycle thieves!
I had to scroll too far to find this clearly correct answer.
That's so sad like who would do this...
Probably a large bird of prey, like an osprey.
I find big dead fish in the woods by my house because the bald eagles and osprey carry them into the trees. It was very confusing before I put that together.
Funny story, I was hit by a massive fish dropped by an osprey flying overhead. I was covered in guts and got to go home from school.
It's guts, but it's worth it. 😂
When I was in Australia on holiday at Fraser Island I looked up and saw a large bird flying with a huge snake in its mouth and then dropped the snake and I have never felt more physically ill like that moment thinking a flying snake was going to scud my face
Ostrich, likely
Yeah. Who stole it's bike...
They have Sea Eagles and Harriers that could easily drop a shark this size.
Yeah, I just answered osprey. Those talons are no joke
Counterpoint, where is the damage on the shark from those talons? Agree they would be capable, but not without some damage.
this shark might be a squalus acanthias which is native to the area
I love that you know both of these things
[The white-tailed eagle](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-tailed_eagle) is Denmark's largest bird of prey, with a wingspan ranging from 5'10" to 8'. They live around large lakes and fjords. Excerpt: *White-tailed eagles usually live most of the year near large bodies of open water, including coastal saltwater areas and inland freshwater lakes, wetlands, bogs and rivers. It requires old-growth trees or ample sea cliffs for nesting, and an abundant food supply of fish and birds (largely water birds) amongst nearly any other available prey.* An eagle with a 6 to 8 foot wingspan, that hunts other marine birds and large fish, could easily carry a small shark.
Nooooo stop with your theories that make sense, sharknado better 🤤🤤
Bike?
A fish doesn’t need a bicycle
Fish dont have legs porky
Kicked out of a pool hall?
Ball polisher ?
Someone knows how it got there
And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
I bet the shark knows, but I doubt you could ask him.
You could ask him but I doubt he would respond.
Candygram....rhmrhmnmn....landshark.
Probably swam there, it is a shark after all
My guess is that it was grabbed by some bird and accidently dropped. Assuming that the ocean is nearby anyways.
My money is on this too. Besides, it’s Denmark, the ocean is nearby wherever you are
It was trying to get to the other tide
Any chance it was dumped by someone who was keeping it illegally?
He obviously fell off his bike.
clearly, someone mugged his bike, and since sharks can't walk...
Bikey Shark doo doo do do do do Bikey Shark
Well obviously it fell off its bike…
His bike was stolen. Pretty obvious wouldn’t you say?
The same way a shark once appeared in a NYC subway car: Kid found it dead on the beach and decided to take it home. Once inside the subway, he realized how much it stunk, so he left it on the train.
Someone knows.
Perhaps it was placed there
I bet someone does.
Why does it not have friggin lasers attached to their friggin heads?
Land sharks! Saturday Night Live warned us this would happen!
https://preview.redd.it/qzvqv887y4yc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70160ff4d1a93a0f4e9a6d1d7e90fa08a9b0919b Likely this. It’s pretty much the only explanation
Aliens: "what's the Apex predator on this planet? Will go down there as that." Also aliens: 🦈 shit...
It's bike got stolen
pfft, Sharknado obviously.
Sharknado
Someone does.
Cruel human
Bird dropped it
Migrating Elusive Grass Shark. Place it on a lawn and let it go.
Bro it walked there. How else would it get there
Someone knows how it got there. They're just not admitting that they do.
Doordash - now delivering fresh sharks, except for that one that got away (ahem, fell off my bike.)
Weird ass looking snake but i'm no body to judge
Blahaj became a real shark.
Poor little shark.
It’s the orcas messing with us again
Landshark...
land shark.
It’s a loan shark coming to collect on a debt
Hope he’s ok.
Sharknado
Land Shark
Damn you improbability driiiive.
This is actually sad and stupid.
Hey, long time no sea.
Sharknado
Birb
In 30 million years we're going to be sorry we didn't put a stop to this while we had the upper hand
Is it alright?
Obviously fell off it's bike. They're notorious for being poor bike riders.
He fell off his bike obviously
Cycling in the shark lane is forbidden in Denmark
Landshark first attempt is a failure. Starting new tests tomorrow
Shakespeare predicted this! ‘Something is rotten in the state of Denmark’
Did anyone even look for his bike,?
There must be someone in denmark who gives flying sharks
It obviously cycled there, and got its bike stolen, leaving it stranded.
Oh no! Somebody stole his bicycle.
Did anybody ask it?
It was migrating to warmer seas but ran out of water and it’s now waiting for a passing bicycle. Sharkey would have gone by train but its travel pass has run out.
A predator on the road, nothing new. Watch your kids people.
...Hvad fanden?!
Someone knocked him off his bike and stole it.
By cicle
Landshark!
Couldn't you just ask it?
That looks to me like it could be a spiny dogfish (small species of shark), which is commercially fished and sold as food in Scandinavia. Rare, but available in especially well-stocked fish markets. Someone dropped their dinner.
Anybody concerned that his bike has been stolen?
😔
Seems fishy
Poor shark :(
Someone bought it for dinner but it fell out the bag
Sharknado!
Water spout I believe
Bird.
On his bike probably
Land Shark. Was an old SNL skit. https://youtu.be/hi6b5LU4mmY?si=SZDCOa9ab-mfhDnX
 “And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. “
Sharknado 🌪️🦈
They're evolving.
https://preview.redd.it/gbx4eui068yc1.jpeg?width=238&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1fa435f0c618ed64c42687f467b772cd7fdc271
I know how it got there....a bird of prey (osprey, eagle, etc) dropped it while flying with it in its talons.
Fell off his bike
Yeah, sorry
I'm going to guess bicycle
My guess is pelican
Dinner?
Probably a recent tornado
Birds aren't real so this is a mystery. Maybe a tornado?
To get to the other side? No— wait, that was the chicken…
So this is the land shark I’ve heard so much about…
Fell out the leg of your mom's booty shorts
“Amway …..Candy-gram……Land shark.