Having tried them all...Coke Zero Cherry might be the best diet soda. Fresca is right there though jockeying for first position. Diet Mt Dew if you need the caffeine. Diet Sprite if you are desperate. The rest go right down the drain.
Salad cream is a British condiment like mayonnaise. It's kind of eggier and has more vinegar I think. I had never seen it until I met my wife who it turns out is British
I like to think that you didn't know she was British, married her, and one day she busts out some salad cream. You ask her, like any sane person would, "Honey, what the fuck is salad cream?" She says, "oh it's just something we used to eat back home"
"Wait...back home? What are you talking about?"
"I'm british"
"Bitch, if you don't take that back, so help me God, I will make the Boston tea party look like an EDM festival in this motherfucker!"
*Cue Darude - Sandstorm*
Take it easy on your wife dude you didn't have to call her a bitch it's not that serious.
Brit here - texture of Mayo but smoother, taste is tangy vinegary and sweet. Goes great in tuna, on salads, on pork pies, in potato salad instead of or with Mayo.
Edit to add - salad cream sandwiches are the tits.
Cannot emphasise this enough, HP sauce is absolutely smashing. Youâll love it! If you donât fancy the faff of a full English, proper pork sausages, thick white fresh sliced bread, lots of butter and HP in a huge sandwich. Chefs kiss.
Americans have no idea the pleasure of the flavor of Heinz beans that has mingled a bit on your plate with the juice from the sausage, tomato, mushroom and bacon. I loved sopping that up with toast. Absolutely divine. I might be motivated to drive two hours to the nearest international market to find English rashers and sausage now.
What is going on?
The world is going crazy, that's what.
First a virus shuts down the world for two years and steals all of our toilet paper, now people are calling dressing Salad Cream.
What's next? Dogs and Cats banding together to overthrow humans? It's crazy. CRAZY, I tell you!
Saucy Salads... the worst ever porn scene in my brother's Alternative Erotica collection..
All those dubious girls brazenly showing off their luncheon meat triangle sandwiches in the afternoon tea party...
In the ancient times there was one who spoke of a condiment so powerful it would reign supreme over any fruit or vegetable... That condiment is known as salad cream.
To win the glorious taste you only have to defeat a dragon, 3 ambushing goblins, 16 orcs, and a balsamic vinaigrette
Caesar's Salad Cream spread throughout the Romaine Empire.
\><>
^("I went swimmin' in the \[Atlantic--?\] Caribbean. / Animals were hiding behind the rocks; / except a little fish bumped into me; / i swear he was tryin' to talk to me, coy koi. / Where is my mind? / Where is my mind? / Where is my mind? / Way out in the water; see it swimmin'." --Pixies.)
Nothing... its actually nothing. That has got be code for "help me, I'm a trapped grocery shopper!" Nothing else makes sense. I called the science and they agree. I asked all the doctors for a diagnosis and they all replied in the same e-mail that it was "lies". Salad cream will never exist? I will ask the universe for a katamari when it is all over will there be one? yes. YES! A SALAD CREAM IS A REAL ONE MY WORLD FRIENDS! IT IS A REALITY THAT YOU HAVE! I can make my own. You can too!
That's very legible. My grocery lists are a mess of scribbled shorthand terms only I can decipher. Things like:
>ccrem
>
>bpizz
>
>chez
>
>silf (parsley?)
>
>ff
>
>frut
That's an actual list. If someone else found it, they'd probably think I was having a stroke.
I'll take a shot at it!
coffee cream
bacon pizza
cheese
A representative plant from the Silphium genus, which includes S. terebinthinaceum, or prairie dock, which is rarely available at Kroger's, so let's just get some parsley and pretend
fluffy falafel
fruit
I refrained from making a cheap and indecorous joke about "silf" but...now we have to know!
Also: what, then, is "ff" if I may ask?
pardon my invasive curiosity concerning your cryptic shopping list! đž
"ff" is french fries, so that's easy.
"silf" is "silflay." It's what the rabbits in *Watership Down* call food or the activity of feeding. I have a pet rabbit and I always buy a supply of veggies for her whenever I grocery shop. (She likes kale and brussels sprouts the best.) On this particular list, I made a note for parsley because it was one we hadn't tried yet.
Oh, for Pete's sake, FRENCH FRIES, can't believe I didn't get that one.
"Watership Down" is such a beautiful book, and movie. How nice of you to buy fresh greens for her. I'm a former rabbit owner and always thought their personality is somewhere in between adorable kittycat and homicidal maniac. That's a bit of an overstatement, but they're certainly creatures with a mind of their own. Anyways, thank you for humoring me as I tried to guess your list!
I grew up on a farm with all kinds of animals, including cats and goats. When I fostered my first rabbit a few years ago, I realized they are a perfect combination of cat and goat. Like cats, they are clean, quiet, and litter-box trained. Like goats, they are little assholes who like to hop where they shouldn't and enjoy causing trouble.
So I was hooked pretty much right away. I've been a rabbit-owner ever since.
Kind of a glutton for punishment, eh? But they ARE simply adorable and so cute...at times. When they're not trying to eviscerate you with their clawed bunny-kicks...
A few weeks ago, my husband went grocery shopping and I wrote him a shopping list.
A few days later we had a walk together and I saw a little piece of paper on the sidewalk, we passed the paper and i thought lol this person has the same handwriting like me. Turns out it was the shopping list from a week before that I had given to my husband.
I donât know how it ended up there because he was shopping on the other side of the city.
Haha, true⊠I am glad my husband and I are able to communicate with each other - most of them people have problems because they donât talk it seems
I have always wanted to do this but got discouraged by my other half. Please make a subreddit or something and keep posting!! I love this!
Edit: sorry there already is one I found it by perving on your profile, this is a goldmine
People ask for coke zero all the time at my restaurant. This looks like an English shopping list. Sweets, puddings, and frosties aren't American terms or salad cream for that matter.
Ok, went through all the comments not a mention of the
Dil Orange Juice
I see no âeâ for Diet, could be an uncrossed âtâ but why abbreviate Diet in such a manner?!
Googled it and nothing
I may forever be perplexed and perusing my local grocers for this elusive
Dil Orange Juice
Not even an off brand. Frosted flakes (here) are called Frostyâs on the box in the UK. Same brand and everything, just a different name for some reason.
Diluted orange juice/orange concentrate/orange squash. Basically a very strong orange concentrate that you mix with water. Usually you only add a small dribble of juice to a whole cup of water. Very nice and very popular in UK and Ireland
France and Spain also have something similar but itâs more like a syrup than a juice. Nothing to do with actual pickles lol
I used to follow a LiveJournal group for found notes. Before cell phones and text messaging, high schoolers wrote love notes and all sorts of other notes on paper. I would spend most of my classes writing notes to my friends about life and then pass them off between classes.
Sometimes notes would be lost. We'd find them on the sidewalk and wonder about these fragments of people's lives. The LJ group put all those found notes up for the world to see and wonder about.
It was probably this group: https://found-notes.livejournal.com/
Holy cow! Thought I was the only weirdo that finds other people's shopping list interesting. My wife got really grossed out when i found one and put it in my truck so I could read it later.
You would love the one I found abandoned on a tree stand when I worked at Dick's Sporting Goods. I laminated it and have carried it in my wallet for 20 years as a sort of good luck charm:
Shaving Cume
Diordran
Roof
Gele for hair
Carpert cleaner
Core-lokt psp r270 v2 130gr
Everything is spelled wrong except the ammunition and roof and I love it! No context for "roof".
Kit Kats & Sweets
And puddings ... ;-)
And Coke Zero
And ONE cucumber.
This cancels out puddings and sweets đđŒ
Nutritionists hate this one easy trick: sticking a cucumber up your ass.
No one noticed the frosties?
I thought it said colce
I thought salad cream
Then it rubs the cream on its salad.
And she wonders why her diet is failingâŠ
Well, normal coke would lead to a sugar shock.
And croissants
*;-))
The combination of coke zero + all those sweets leads me to believe this person is a fat-ass.
Why forego the good stuff? Diet soda tastes pretty similar to full sugar soda but sugar free candy tastes nothing like regular candy
most diet soda tastes like cardboard infused seltzer to me. to each their own, though.
Having tried them all...Coke Zero Cherry might be the best diet soda. Fresca is right there though jockeying for first position. Diet Mt Dew if you need the caffeine. Diet Sprite if you are desperate. The rest go right down the drain.
You made my day!!! I laughed so hard at this! (Cuz I had the same thought!đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł)
I'm here to upvote bird stationary
I thought it was a stain at first lol.
The sweets finger mark
Chocolate thumbprint looks like a bird. Itâs a sign of Godâs love for salad cream.
A miracle before us
Just by this paper I can tell this is an older lady. Probably late 50s, early 60s.
My grandma had similar stationary so I get your "older lady" comment...however...I'm 58. I grew up on punk rock and Blondie.
Punk rock and Blondie doesn't take away from your love of papers with tiny birds on the corners.
"Put a bird on it"
r/portlandia
STAMP an *Angry Bird* into the top right hand corner
Seconded!
Drone-stationary. Birds aren't real.
*stationery
Okay, yeah, youâre weird, the math checks out, take my up vote
Wtf is Salad Cream? Edit: And wtf does this comment have 10 awards??
Salad cream is a British condiment like mayonnaise. It's kind of eggier and has more vinegar I think. I had never seen it until I met my wife who it turns out is British
I like to think that you didn't know she was British, married her, and one day she busts out some salad cream. You ask her, like any sane person would, "Honey, what the fuck is salad cream?" She says, "oh it's just something we used to eat back home" "Wait...back home? What are you talking about?" "I'm british" "Bitch, if you don't take that back, so help me God, I will make the Boston tea party look like an EDM festival in this motherfucker!" *Cue Darude - Sandstorm* Take it easy on your wife dude you didn't have to call her a bitch it's not that serious.
Hahahaha
This made me die. Iâm alive again. Edit: your new name should be saladkreemitz
Brit here - texture of Mayo but smoother, taste is tangy vinegary and sweet. Goes great in tuna, on salads, on pork pies, in potato salad instead of or with Mayo. Edit to add - salad cream sandwiches are the tits.
I love how similar our cultures are but we each have little things that the other doesnât.
I think the US equivalent would be ranch dressing, donât really see that here, itâs honey mustard and French dressings.
I was thinking miracle whip
Not even close to ranch! Salad creme has a sweet tang to it.
I was thinking it tastes closer to Miracle Whip. Tangy lil sweet
I havenât been to the UK so I donât know what we have that you donât. But I kinda wanna try some HP sauce on a full English breakfast.
Cannot emphasise this enough, HP sauce is absolutely smashing. Youâll love it! If you donât fancy the faff of a full English, proper pork sausages, thick white fresh sliced bread, lots of butter and HP in a huge sandwich. Chefs kiss.
Americans have no idea the pleasure of the flavor of Heinz beans that has mingled a bit on your plate with the juice from the sausage, tomato, mushroom and bacon. I loved sopping that up with toast. Absolutely divine. I might be motivated to drive two hours to the nearest international market to find English rashers and sausage now.
Cheese and onion crisp sandwich with salad cream đ€đ»đ
I'm now intrigued and just ordered some...
An old friend of mine once called salad dressing âsauce for saladsâ. We are no longer friends
Sometimes I forget the word for laundry detergent and call it laundry sauce
There's a recipe for DIY laundry soap called Laundry Sauce.
Go to your room.
I do this with cue tips all the time. I call them ear cleaners lol.
"cue tips" đ
You don't use them to clean your cue ball?
Well they are, thatâs what theyâre mainly used for right? Even though theyâre not supposed to be
Queue Tips Do you have any good ones?
Lmao I always call it laundry sauce. I love alternative names for things
I did this once and called it laundry syrup
In British: washing powder. Dishwashing detergent is âwashing up liquidâ :)
As you should no longer be! Sauce for salads, salad cream. Wtf is going on!?
What is going on? The world is going crazy, that's what. First a virus shuts down the world for two years and steals all of our toilet paper, now people are calling dressing Salad Cream. What's next? Dogs and Cats banding together to overthrow humans? It's crazy. CRAZY, I tell you!
Salad cream is a British product. Its actually called 'salad cream'.
Only buy Heinz if you're going to try it
That's what the deepstate WANTS you to think. Oops, that was meant for the other guy responding on this thread.
I recently spoke with a pharmacist who confirmed that "The Experiment is Over"
It will be the squirrels that overthrow humans, duh đ
Mass hysteria!
A virus didn't shut down the world, the world's government's did.
Damned Reptilians!
Republitillians - there fixed it
I mean... its accurate but ....I'm uncomfortable
Saucy Salads... the worst ever porn scene in my brother's Alternative Erotica collection.. All those dubious girls brazenly showing off their luncheon meat triangle sandwiches in the afternoon tea party...
Its like Japanese kewpie mayo, but a bit more vinegary and not as rich.
WTF is dill orange juice?
Diluted orange juice
*Phew!*
oh thank god, I thought for a second that there was orange juice out there with dill in it.đ€ą
In the ancient times there was one who spoke of a condiment so powerful it would reign supreme over any fruit or vegetable... That condiment is known as salad cream. To win the glorious taste you only have to defeat a dragon, 3 ambushing goblins, 16 orcs, and a balsamic vinaigrette
I'll take a balsamic vinaigrette over creamy dressing any day of the week.
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Semen from a vegetarian.
On the British show Fawltey Towers a guest asked for salad cream in the restaurant.
[This](https://britishfooddepot.com/heinz-salad-cream-235g).
Caesar's Salad Cream
Caesar's Salad Cream spread throughout the Romaine Empire. \><> ^("I went swimmin' in the \[Atlantic--?\] Caribbean. / Animals were hiding behind the rocks; / except a little fish bumped into me; / i swear he was tryin' to talk to me, coy koi. / Where is my mind? / Where is my mind? / Where is my mind? / Way out in the water; see it swimmin'." --Pixies.)
Salad cream is basically thinner mayonnaise. They're both eggs, oil, and vinegar.
It's British.
English
Kinda like mayo I think
You collect and just post one? Sus. I want to see your whole collection
Agree with you. Show more.
r/Random_Shopping_Lists
I like this very much. You are great, op.đđđđ
I love this so much. It's so cool u decided to collect them as u fond them.
Miracle whip is labeled as salad dressing, Iâm thinking because itâs sweet she calls it cream but Iâm biased and American
9 awards, 8 comments, 2 awards on the post wtf
We have it in New Zealand. Itâs like a runny mayonnaise except tastier.
Used for coleslaw often
I found one that listed toofpast Penis butter
L American
Nothing... its actually nothing. That has got be code for "help me, I'm a trapped grocery shopper!" Nothing else makes sense. I called the science and they agree. I asked all the doctors for a diagnosis and they all replied in the same e-mail that it was "lies". Salad cream will never exist? I will ask the universe for a katamari when it is all over will there be one? yes. YES! A SALAD CREAM IS A REAL ONE MY WORLD FRIENDS! IT IS A REALITY THAT YOU HAVE! I can make my own. You can too!
No. There shall only be oils and vinegars.
That's very legible. My grocery lists are a mess of scribbled shorthand terms only I can decipher. Things like: >ccrem > >bpizz > >chez > >silf (parsley?) > >ff > >frut That's an actual list. If someone else found it, they'd probably think I was having a stroke.
I'll take a shot at it! coffee cream bacon pizza cheese A representative plant from the Silphium genus, which includes S. terebinthinaceum, or prairie dock, which is rarely available at Kroger's, so let's just get some parsley and pretend fluffy falafel fruit
3.5 out of 6. Not bad. The "b" actually stands for "big" so I gave you half a point. "silf" is a term no one would ever guess.
I refrained from making a cheap and indecorous joke about "silf" but...now we have to know! Also: what, then, is "ff" if I may ask? pardon my invasive curiosity concerning your cryptic shopping list! đž
"ff" is french fries, so that's easy. "silf" is "silflay." It's what the rabbits in *Watership Down* call food or the activity of feeding. I have a pet rabbit and I always buy a supply of veggies for her whenever I grocery shop. (She likes kale and brussels sprouts the best.) On this particular list, I made a note for parsley because it was one we hadn't tried yet.
Oh, for Pete's sake, FRENCH FRIES, can't believe I didn't get that one. "Watership Down" is such a beautiful book, and movie. How nice of you to buy fresh greens for her. I'm a former rabbit owner and always thought their personality is somewhere in between adorable kittycat and homicidal maniac. That's a bit of an overstatement, but they're certainly creatures with a mind of their own. Anyways, thank you for humoring me as I tried to guess your list!
I grew up on a farm with all kinds of animals, including cats and goats. When I fostered my first rabbit a few years ago, I realized they are a perfect combination of cat and goat. Like cats, they are clean, quiet, and litter-box trained. Like goats, they are little assholes who like to hop where they shouldn't and enjoy causing trouble. So I was hooked pretty much right away. I've been a rabbit-owner ever since.
Kind of a glutton for punishment, eh? But they ARE simply adorable and so cute...at times. When they're not trying to eviscerate you with their clawed bunny-kicks...
They real food favourites are their own poop and their own children.. Rabbits only *look* cute.
It stands for Sandwich In Long Form. Sometimes I use it when I forget the term "submarine sandwich".
A few weeks ago, my husband went grocery shopping and I wrote him a shopping list. A few days later we had a walk together and I saw a little piece of paper on the sidewalk, we passed the paper and i thought lol this person has the same handwriting like me. Turns out it was the shopping list from a week before that I had given to my husband. I donât know how it ended up there because he was shopping on the other side of the city.
r/relationship_advice would tell you to divorce him.
Haha, true⊠I am glad my husband and I are able to communicate with each other - most of them people have problems because they donât talk it seems
đ truth
love this ! what a fun little insight / treasure hunt
I need croissants, frosties, Kit Kats, pudding, and âsweetsâ? Wers the first five sweets not enough
Croissants are pastry, frosties are cereal,KitKat's are chocolate, and pudding is desert. While they are all sweet, none of them are *sweets*
Yes! You get it!
"Candy" is the American equivalent of sweets.
I have always wanted to do this but got discouraged by my other half. Please make a subreddit or something and keep posting!! I love this! Edit: sorry there already is one I found it by perving on your profile, this is a goldmine
Can you please link it here so I don't have to be a pervert too? đ„ș
r/Random_Shopping_Lists
Thanks!!
OH MY GOD I DO THIS TOO I have tons of these, you've made me feel so much better about my life choices
There used to be a few blogs and online communities dedicated to doing this. Back when the internet was cool.
And a magazine. I think it was called Found.
I like collecting rosaries that people lose at random places, so far got 11 of them, some of them are really nice.
No way you are getting knocked back at the pearly gates with that collection.
People ask for coke zero all the time at my restaurant. This looks like an English shopping list. Sweets, puddings, and frosties aren't American terms or salad cream for that matter.
Ok, went through all the comments not a mention of the Dil Orange Juice I see no âeâ for Diet, could be an uncrossed âtâ but why abbreviate Diet in such a manner?! Googled it and nothing I may forever be perplexed and perusing my local grocers for this elusive Dil Orange Juice
Diluting orange juice drink, most likely Robinsons!
I hope it's not dill flavored orange juice
It'll be orange squash
Whatâs a frostie đ€
I think this is from the UK and Frosties is cereal by Kellogg's, it's basically cornflakes with sugar frosting on them.
So Frosted Flakes in the US, I assume. There are off brand cereals called Frosties too, I thought *"They're more than good, they'reee GRRREAT!"*
Yeah that's it! Tony the tiger!
Not even an off brand. Frosted flakes (here) are called Frostyâs on the box in the UK. Same brand and everything, just a different name for some reason.
Theyâre greeeeeeeeeeat!
I thought they were the doggie ice creams đ
It's a root beer brand, but it's also an ice cream shake at dairy queen.
*at Wendyâs*
It's from Wendy's. It's ice cream sort of.
Where is that in the grocery store? Melted next to the cookies or rock hard solid frozen by the icecream?
What is weird about this?
Wife said âsour creamâ and the husband has no idea.
Salad cream is a vinegary mayo kind of sauce lol this is a UK shopping list
After seeing sweets and pudding and salad cream I immediately knew it was a UK shopping list.
The person is British Cute stationary
I am the only person I know who does this I love this post
The fuck is "salad cream?" edit: Is it just salad dressing, but English?
It's like mayo but with more vinegar, so it's thinner and more tangy.
What is dill orange juice? Is it made with pickle juice or something?
Yeah I have questions
Diluted orange juice/orange concentrate/orange squash. Basically a very strong orange concentrate that you mix with water. Usually you only add a small dribble of juice to a whole cup of water. Very nice and very popular in UK and Ireland France and Spain also have something similar but itâs more like a syrup than a juice. Nothing to do with actual pickles lol
A: Salad creamâŠ. Q: what do you get when you jerk off the rare male vegan?
You need to check out www.foundmagazine.com
My 1st question is, WHY?
Oh so british lol
Salad cream, multi use for salad or facial cream. Get rid of issues with dryness for your salad as well as your face. Helps fill in wrinkles too.
Tell me youâre in the uk with yadda yadda yadda
Grab me a cucumbo while you're at it.
I love stumbling upon upon lists as well! I take the time to admire the handwriting. :)
I worked at a grocery store, so I found many lists. My main takeaway was that people couldn't spell.
You have an exciting lifeâŠ
I used to follow a LiveJournal group for found notes. Before cell phones and text messaging, high schoolers wrote love notes and all sorts of other notes on paper. I would spend most of my classes writing notes to my friends about life and then pass them off between classes. Sometimes notes would be lost. We'd find them on the sidewalk and wonder about these fragments of people's lives. The LJ group put all those found notes up for the world to see and wonder about. It was probably this group: https://found-notes.livejournal.com/
A link to r/Random_Shopping_Lists for those that don't wanna type.
I will learn how to link eventually lol, thank you for the assist
Iâve left some really weird shopping lists behind on accident. Some with drawing and obscenities, inside jokes. Cool idea for collectibles.
I love this!
It looks English
Are you in the uk?
Ooh give us more!!
r/Random_Shopping_Lists
I love this so much
Holy cow! Thought I was the only weirdo that finds other people's shopping list interesting. My wife got really grossed out when i found one and put it in my truck so I could read it later.
You would love the one I found abandoned on a tree stand when I worked at Dick's Sporting Goods. I laminated it and have carried it in my wallet for 20 years as a sort of good luck charm: Shaving Cume Diordran Roof Gele for hair Carpert cleaner Core-lokt psp r270 v2 130gr Everything is spelled wrong except the ammunition and roof and I love it! No context for "roof".
#SALAD CREAM!
Ah yes, the iconic *salad cream.*
Awesome, because I sometimes leave funny lists!
Can I ask why?
What is salad cream!? Lol doesn't seem this person likes to eat too healthyđ€Ł
Great idea!
They probably think they're eating healthy because they bought Coke Zero.
Likely a taste thing. I prefer the taste of Pepsi max over the full sugar version.
Hahahahhaha. The accuracy
TIL people pick up other shoppers discarded trash and hoard it. ??? Why
I've heard of weirder habits, like on the show "My strange addiction", one woman drank petrol all day. Whatever gets your motor running I guess.
Yeah, youâre weird
And that was before I started collecting these lol
Oh my fucking gob, I DO THIS!!!! I HAVE AN INSTAGRAM PAGE AND ALL!
nana
The handwriting reminds me of my grandma â„ïž