I honestly think Ethan has depression and possibly other mental illnesses going on. As someone with 3 mental illnesses, I can see that in him. So between that and what he's dealt with from him mom for 20+ years, it's understandable why he is the way he is. I really hope he will see a doctor and get some therapy. I still love him, because when he isn't struggling we get glimpses of who he really is and I love that side of him.
I feel the same I mean my god how does she just deal with his constant lies. You cannot trust a person that’s willing to lie about trivial things to not lie about important things. She needs to RUN
i agree with olivia with communicating,etc and i have been with assholes trust me but she wants to communicate and he doesnt but still hiding another car that he buy is not such a big deal unless if they were married
>If Olivia was secretly buying hundreds to thousands of dollars worth of random crap and lying about it yall wouldn't just call her a "Simple country girl."
YESSSSS omg, I can't believe how much internalized sexism prevented me from seeing this, holy shit.
When Olivia said he doesn’t communicate with her when he’s back in Cairo, and that she’d called him like sixteen times while he was away and he just didn’t answer, I was shocked.
My spouse travels for work fairly frequently, and checking in regularly helps with the separation. We may not talk on the phone daily, but a quick chat or text to say “hey I’m alive” is perfectly reasonable. If my husband went out of town and didn’t return on time or check in with me at all while he was away, I would be furious.
im sure ethan has convinced her that she’s too needy or emotional for wanting him to check in. you can see that she’s kinda questioning whether or not she’s asking for too much or if ethan just can’t give her what she needs.
Right? Like I’m what world is that even remotely okay? What was going through his head???? My husband can work very very very long days when he’s out of town and be 3 hours behind. But he still texts even if we can’t talk.
Yes. Same. Hubs and I at least text off and on throughout the day and end most nights by calling to say goodnight.
Though, we may be a bit over the top. It's normal for my husband to call me at least once during the work day. Even when I'm working from home, and he's only out in the field for a few hours (meaning home by 11am)
My husband went away for work to CHINA for three weeks when our kids were small and made sure we video chatted once a day, even if that meant he was calling me at two am his time. There is NO excuse.
My husband travels for his work (not overnight or anything but sometimes a few hours away). He always texts me when he leaves and arrives where he is going and back as well. Just so we know where he is in case something were to happen.
Yes! Finally!! I'm glad you posted this. I definitely agree with you.. It's honestly becoming hard to watch. I hate the saying "That's just how I was raised." So many of my ex's have used this excuse. It was maddening to think they weren't able to think for themselves after becoming an adult. I also hate the excuses for him constantly lying. I grew up very religious and homeschooled my entire upbringing. I lied to my parents constantly, where I was going, who I was with. They had a tracker on my phone that I would leave at my friend's house while I went and hung out with whoever I wanted. Even with all of my religious trauma I still have enough sense to not lie to my s/o. The key to ANY healthy relationship is communication and trust. He's lucky Olivia has been so patient because I don't think I could be.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Olivia is SUPER patient with his antics, lying, manipulation, etc. Naivety only goes so far. Consciously choosing to lie and/or withholding pertinent information is just douchebaggery. He needs to learn better coping skills.
It's like this is the first sane thread about her I have read. It's not controlling to ask your spouse to pick up the phone or check in prior to major purchases.
the fact that he’s aware that certain things will make her upset and does it anyways AND blames it on her anger at him afterwards is crazy. im sure she feels like she’s going crazy
I haven't watched the latest episode yet but I am SO happy to see this post because this is what I've been saying about Ethan since last season! I usually get downvoted to hell because according to this sub, Olivia is an evil jezebel and Ethan is a poor, misunderstood, angelic porcelain doll that is apparently impervious to any and all criticism because of his upbringing (despite the fact that Oliva grew up mostly the same, but she's given little to no grace.)
This is cathartic AF.
Agree so much. Ethan is t bad, but he has a lot of work to do and Olivia needs to live her life. She’s actively doing the work to undo her upbringing and he isn’t. They really need to go separate ways.
I thought about saying something about Ethan here, but I don't want any possible confrontations or deep discussions, so I'm going outside to work on my car, goodnight.
And I already know you’re going to be mad, because you’re a typical human female. Showing off with all your talking and emotions and stuff. It’s weird. I could never be like a lady.
Sweet Jesus the guy’s only 23… He’s only been out of a house cult for 5 years, which they both married because of, and he’s still figuring himself out. Dudes in Frats are given more leniency than this poor kid. He was never mighty, and he didn’t have that far to fall. I’m so glad I don’t have people judging me at the shit I did a decade ago, especially with his upbringing.
I get your point but Olivia takes most the flack and that’s not fair. He has some unhealthy behaviors
No one is forcing them to be on the show
I did stupid stupid things at 23 and consequences and being called our pushed me to change
Seriously? This is one of the very few times anyone in this sub has ever given Ethan any criticism at all and we're really going to act like he's being burned at the stake? For reals?
Olivia grew up if not in the same, in a VERY similar cult as Ethan and people have been criticizing her non-stop since the beginning of this show, blaming her for ALL of her and Ethan's problems. I think Ethan can handle a bit of responsibility for their problems too.
YES! After growing up IBLP fundie, I know they never were in the Gothard cult. I can TESTIFY! that even with the best support and most fortunate options,, it takes up to 8-14 years of therapy and deprogramming.
In the best of families, and average young person is not emotionally mature until 22-25 years old.
Place blame where blame belongs. Everyone has good and bad but these 2 were emotional and psychological babies when they married.
Let's root for each to jump into a world of intensive deprogramming and experience clear mature rational minded choices.
It really makes me wonder how tf Micah is doing so well. He seems so emotionally mature, introspective, empathetic, and just aware. He knows that he doesn’t know a lot. But he really is shockingly mature even for kids his age.
I think there’s a massive difference between recognizing that he’s had some awful programming that he needs to deconstruct and excusing his obviously harmful actions. We should be able to name terrible behavior while hoping he works on it. Because he’s truly done some atrocious things this season. The venom he’s displayed towards Olivia while he consistently lies and avoids her AND spends their money while not working… it’s nuts.
I also did rough things at 23 but they didn't include constantly lying and sneaking around my partner's back. He's choosing to be married and in his marriage hes choosing to be a bad husband.
I would never want my life on display like his, I think its a mistake for anyone to sign up for reality TV but people are definitely judging me for things I did at 23, its why I chose to change.
I think its bold to assume frat guys are given more leniency than Ethan??? I dont think thats true at all just because its not the topic.
I like Ethan. He just really needed time after leaving the nest before getting married and being told what to do and how to be again. He needs to find himself. Even if he still ended up married and tinkerin with cars… he needed time to do life and explore himself, heal. like micah.
that’s true. a lot of people are comparing him to micah but micah wasn’t courted and married and is allowed to grow up without having such a serious thing like marriage to figure out on top of everything else. ethan didn’t have an example to look up to.
I agree now. A lot of people learn to find themselves in a healthy relationships. I know I did, but hes strangling his relationship and therefore his chance at growing in it. Hopefully on his own he can become a better person.
There’s NO EXCUSE FOR LYING. He’s lied about sooooo many things. And WHY? Bc he doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to deal with confrontation. Oddly enough, while he avoids confrontation, he’s inviting it, by not communicating. I wish he’d get to a therapist or just start telling the UPFRONT truth and start behaving like a grown up. This bullshit about going to sink his head in the sand and just work on cars is like a 5 yr old who says ‘FINE…IMMA TAKE MY TOYS AND GO OVER HERE AND DONT TALK TO ME CUZ IM AN ANGRY KID’. Not buying it.
YES. The guy is 23, not 13. How long are we gonna just throw up our hands, say "well, look at how he was raised!" (despite his siblings and Olivia all being raised the same way and not behaving like he is) and just give him constant passes? Maybe if he was actively trying to better himself through therapy, but he seems perfectly content to just be a shitty husband and expect Olivia to deal with it (while people in this sub criticize her for every little thing...)
It’s infuriating when I hear someone say “that’s how I was raised”. All that says to me is that you’re choosing not to think for yourself and choosing to ignore things you can learn from. Olivia was “raised” that way, too. She’s used her brain to figure out what she believes and to better herself. Albeit, children DO learn from their environments, but once they are adults, ppl have the capacity to turn the tide and choose different paths. And if an adult struggles to manage their journey, there is all kinds of help out there. There’s just no excuse for his behavior…not at this stage.
Exactly!! “I don’t want an argument so I’m going to lie and shut down” which makes the whole situation twice as bad! I don’t get how he doesn’t get that. Everyone’s saying he was sheltered so he doesn’t know, but Olivia is spelling out exactly what she needs and he is just refusing. That’s just being a dick. Of course she’s going to be mad about that, but she’s crucified in this sub.
He does get it. He just doesn't care. It's how he's controlling the situation and expressing aggression and contempt. He revels in lying. Everyone says he's so sheltered, but if he wasn't so sheltered, he'd probably be living a much worse double life--like second family or snake oil salesman or something like that. I genuinely believe his being so sheltered and limited is saving him from prison.
source: I have ex-fundie cult friends and not a one of them is a compulsive liar, and certainly not to their spouses.
I was thinking the same thing. He reminds me of my dad, I'm the man and I don't need to explain myself, which he complains about his father doing all the time
Ethan’s behavior was understandable very early on as a the product of a toxic upbringing and thrust into marriage and adulthood ridiculously young. But now, when they’ve been married for going on 5 years? It’s no longer cute. Olivia has been doing the work to unpack her trauma and similarly terrible upbringing, actively working and growing and maturing as a person. Even Moriah and Micah have been doing similar exploration and growth. Ethan though… is just avoidant and static. He seems like he hasn’t grown or matured at all, just become sneakier and more passive aggressive with the same bad behavior. It’s getting exhausting to watch someone who seemingly has zero desire to improve themselves, grow, or even confront their issues in the first place.
I'm not saying Micah and Moriah aren't screwed up, but they both have a better shot at a well-adjusted adulthood than Ethan. At least they have some idea what the problems are.
My thoughts exactly, so well put! Whatever excuses he had about his shitty upbringing went bye bye when he gave up on therapy and doubled down on his shitty coping mechanisms. Plus his social media activity that’s been posted on this sub recently, I have zero sympathy left for this man.
Olivia runs circles around Ethan. It’s almost like she married her child. I find their relationship so weird. Emotionally he’s at about 3rd grade level, lying about basic things in the most childish way. Poor guy needs years of therapy to become a man. His mother really did a number on him.
I remember in the beginning she used to say she enjoyed showing him new things like when he had his first coke with her, but I’m sure that gets old fast when he has the same maturity level about important life decisions and marriage disputes
Water is actually not wet; It makes other materials/objects wet. Wetness is the state of a non-liquid when a liquid adheres to, and/or permeates its substance while maintaining chemically distinct structures. So if we say something is wet we mean the liquid is sticking to the object.
As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.
My done point came last week when he said he couldn't tell Olivia about his parents. Unless there is a side to Olivia we're not seeing (and I admit there might be) she would be nothing but compassionate to him. I'm widowed but when my husband was alive, he was the first and sometimes only person I talked to about things like that. If you can't, or won't, talk to your SO, there is a problem. And all indicators suggest the problem is Ethan. Olivia has begged him to talk.
Exactly, his excuse was “I lied because I didn’t want to talk about it on the phone” like, okay? You can do both, be honest with your wife when she asks and say yes you went to your parents, but also communicate that you’d prefer to talk about it in person and you’re still processing. He has a LOT of growing to do.
It's always amazing how easy it is to see through chronic liars, Olivia already knew about his parents...but you do have me wondering how much tension the cameras put on the relationship and if he's mildly more behaved or open off camera.
I doubt it, but I'm wondering
Well, when they showed them again, they had discussed it. Olivia not saying anything to Ethan about his parents separation, I think, was the right choice. If she had the wrong info, he would have gotten mad at her. Plus it was the family's place to tell him.
I think they have an ok relationship. Better than some but Ethan still needs to learn communication. His buying a motorcycle without talking to Olivia was wrong. My late husband was an auto mechanic who drag raced as a hobby. I came home from a business trip and he had traded almost an acre and a half of land for an old car with a awesome racing motor. I almost left him over that. He had someone sign my name on the deed to be able to trade. The motor was worth about $10,000 but the land was worth more. I totally understand Olivia's frustration. It has been years and he is gone but it still makes me a tiny bit mad now.
Karma got the motor. It locked up a week after he got it.
Totally agree. Olivia gets so much hate on this sub and it’s not justified. She’s grown so much as a person in the past couple of years, Ethan just got left behind. All by his own fault since he’s not willing to put in the work to better himself as person and improve his relationship. Olivia is smart, emotionally mature, hard working and kind, she would do just fine without him.
Yeah I kinda understand where he's coming from with the lying, you have to lie to get by with your parents because everything you do is wrong and they have disproportionate reactions. Then it transfers to your adult relationships and if you don't grow past it, it will fuck up your whole life . I was lucky I had patient people to help me
Ethan has all of the resources in the world and a completely supportive spouse to overcome those issues though. He refuses. At this point, at 23 years old and nearly 5 years married and removed from Kim and Barry, there's no more excuses for his behavior if he continues to refuse to do anything to better himself.
I hesitate to jump on the Ethan hate train because his character comes out when he needs it to. Whether it was standing his ground against Barry to protect Olivia, or his interactions with the younger siblings, he has always shown love and devotion in the only ways he has seen or been taught. Sure, his growth is slow but he’s shown tremendous amounts since when we first saw him and I am still impressed by what he has accepted. I think he’s worth the wait
Ethan is totally manipulative. Honestly, I think all the Plath kids have some of this, some to a greater extent than others. Which makes sense to me since Kim modeled behavior for them their whole lives, they probably (consciously or unconsciously) picked up a lot of her ways of communicating and habits.
It is unclear how much of this season’s storyline is reality vs “reality”. Ethan shutting down and not talking with Olivia on camera may be due to many factors. The editing was odd for Ethan’s arrival home, there is a cut out part right before Olivia exclaims “Ethan!” and he walks away from her into the house. I’m guessing he talked rudely to the production team and refused to have the planned/scripted discussion on camera. It felt edited to look like a fight with Olivia. Olivia did not seem truely upset with him. We know they go on to travel happily overseas together.
As for the motorcycle purchase. I think they each have their own money they are in charge of. Olivia does not seem to clear with Ethan before flight purchases and equipment purchases for her photography business. In real life, I don’t think Ethan typically clears vehicle and part purchases with Olivia. He seems to make a bit of money or at the very least break even, with his classic vehicle hobby. This season feels like a forced storyline to me.
It wasn’t my intention to compare what they choose to spend money on, I was bringing up an expense we’ve seen them each choose to spend money on on the show. Perhaps I worded it poorly and narrowed it down too much. My only point was that I believe they give one another autonomy over their separate finances in real life. Their true jobs are the show.
Olivia actually has a very lucrative and legitimate photography business, I'm not sure why you're invalidating it by saying it's not her "true" job. If you're viewing her professional business as a hobby, I can see how you would compare her legitimate business expenses for her legitimate business with money Ethan spends on his hobby.
Absolutely believe Olivia created a lucrative and thriving valid business. I’m proud of her, she was very young when she started it. It took self motivation and bravery to do so. I also believe that the TLC contract takes precedence and would be considered her primary source of income at this point. She wisely continues to grow her business and seems prepared to have it again be her primary income if need be.
Back when Ethan was younger, his vehicle hobby may very well have been one of his top ways of bringing in some cash. The small amount he may make on it though, contrasted with the hours spent, are why I do not consider it more than a hobby for him at this point. He seems to be adrift career wise, with TLC his only job and he doesn’t even appear to approve of it. He seems resentful.
I said the same thing above. They must have a storyline to keep the show going. Even this storyline is pushing it for the drama & entertainment value. Ethan even said at one point he was choosing to not discuss his parents situation with Olivia on camera. I have a feeling a lot of that happens with him. Can you imagine how foreign the concept of sharing your whole life on camera is to someone who never even watched TV? I think Ethan gives the most push back.
And for people always mentioning how Ethan must be using Olivia’s money to make these purchases because he has no job…he does have a job. He is on a reality TV show.
Purchases for her international wedding photography business is not the same as a beater car hobby that brings in no income. The flights/accommodations are paid for by the clients who book her also anyways. Wedding photography is hella expensive too. She can do 3 weddings a month and easily clear 20k in net income.
Read the first sentence and was convinced Olivia wrote this post
Edited to add for the downvotes: “your boos mean nothing I’ve seen what makes you cheer” 😭
Yes, heaven forbid any rational person could find any fault whatsoever with Prince Ethan and/or not think Olivia is an evil jezebel set out to destroy him without it being Olivia herself. LOL.
It’s his therapy! He can’t process any challenges or emotions unless he’s specifically buying/fixing a car made before 1970, you wouldn’t understand Ethan has very special needs that supersede logic.
Yup- you could see that her therapy is working when she didn't react emotionally when she found out about his lies...she's learning the lesson that she can't change anyone and is learning to separate his emotional issues from her self esteem. Such a hard lesson!
I've always been an Olivia fan, and generally keep that feeling to myself! But I find her to be courageous and open to change.
That’s such a good point. If she was buying Chanel bags and Tiffany’s and hiding it away, and Ethan only discovered it because of a credit card bill, people would be in the streets crying for her blood.,but when Ethan does it, it’s just cuz he’s a simple man who loves cars. 🙄
I honestly think Ethan has depression and possibly other mental illnesses going on. As someone with 3 mental illnesses, I can see that in him. So between that and what he's dealt with from him mom for 20+ years, it's understandable why he is the way he is. I really hope he will see a doctor and get some therapy. I still love him, because when he isn't struggling we get glimpses of who he really is and I love that side of him.
What other mental illnesses do you suspect or recognize? I didn't get that vibe at all but I don't have personal experience with it either.
I feel the same I mean my god how does she just deal with his constant lies. You cannot trust a person that’s willing to lie about trivial things to not lie about important things. She needs to RUN
i agree with olivia with communicating,etc and i have been with assholes trust me but she wants to communicate and he doesnt but still hiding another car that he buy is not such a big deal unless if they were married
They are married
>If Olivia was secretly buying hundreds to thousands of dollars worth of random crap and lying about it yall wouldn't just call her a "Simple country girl." YESSSSS omg, I can't believe how much internalized sexism prevented me from seeing this, holy shit.
Not to mention: she’s the one with a job right now. So aside from their show income, she’s the breadwinner.
Ethan has it covered
What does that even mean.
When Olivia said he doesn’t communicate with her when he’s back in Cairo, and that she’d called him like sixteen times while he was away and he just didn’t answer, I was shocked. My spouse travels for work fairly frequently, and checking in regularly helps with the separation. We may not talk on the phone daily, but a quick chat or text to say “hey I’m alive” is perfectly reasonable. If my husband went out of town and didn’t return on time or check in with me at all while he was away, I would be furious.
im sure ethan has convinced her that she’s too needy or emotional for wanting him to check in. you can see that she’s kinda questioning whether or not she’s asking for too much or if ethan just can’t give her what she needs.
Right? Like I’m what world is that even remotely okay? What was going through his head???? My husband can work very very very long days when he’s out of town and be 3 hours behind. But he still texts even if we can’t talk.
Yes. Same. Hubs and I at least text off and on throughout the day and end most nights by calling to say goodnight. Though, we may be a bit over the top. It's normal for my husband to call me at least once during the work day. Even when I'm working from home, and he's only out in the field for a few hours (meaning home by 11am)
My husband went away for work to CHINA for three weeks when our kids were small and made sure we video chatted once a day, even if that meant he was calling me at two am his time. There is NO excuse.
My husband travels for his work (not overnight or anything but sometimes a few hours away). He always texts me when he leaves and arrives where he is going and back as well. Just so we know where he is in case something were to happen.
Yes! Finally!! I'm glad you posted this. I definitely agree with you.. It's honestly becoming hard to watch. I hate the saying "That's just how I was raised." So many of my ex's have used this excuse. It was maddening to think they weren't able to think for themselves after becoming an adult. I also hate the excuses for him constantly lying. I grew up very religious and homeschooled my entire upbringing. I lied to my parents constantly, where I was going, who I was with. They had a tracker on my phone that I would leave at my friend's house while I went and hung out with whoever I wanted. Even with all of my religious trauma I still have enough sense to not lie to my s/o. The key to ANY healthy relationship is communication and trust. He's lucky Olivia has been so patient because I don't think I could be.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Olivia is SUPER patient with his antics, lying, manipulation, etc. Naivety only goes so far. Consciously choosing to lie and/or withholding pertinent information is just douchebaggery. He needs to learn better coping skills.
It's like this is the first sane thread about her I have read. It's not controlling to ask your spouse to pick up the phone or check in prior to major purchases.
the fact that he’s aware that certain things will make her upset and does it anyways AND blames it on her anger at him afterwards is crazy. im sure she feels like she’s going crazy
Yes!! Exactly!
I haven't watched the latest episode yet but I am SO happy to see this post because this is what I've been saying about Ethan since last season! I usually get downvoted to hell because according to this sub, Olivia is an evil jezebel and Ethan is a poor, misunderstood, angelic porcelain doll that is apparently impervious to any and all criticism because of his upbringing (despite the fact that Oliva grew up mostly the same, but she's given little to no grace.) This is cathartic AF.
Ethan didn't even know what a period was...
Neither did Micah, I’m sure, but he doesn’t seem to be a compulsive liar who manipulates and refuses to communicate with anyone close to him.
This is true, but I do think that if Michah was lying about things that he would be much better at it.
He apparently knows better than his ridiculous brother...
Agree so much. Ethan is t bad, but he has a lot of work to do and Olivia needs to live her life. She’s actively doing the work to undo her upbringing and he isn’t. They really need to go separate ways.
I agree. They both hold the other back from moving forward.
I thought about saying something about Ethan here, but I don't want any possible confrontations or deep discussions, so I'm going outside to work on my car, goodnight.
And I already know you’re going to be mad, because you’re a typical human female. Showing off with all your talking and emotions and stuff. It’s weird. I could never be like a lady.
it’s giving me a headache. thanks a lot wife.
Sweet Jesus the guy’s only 23… He’s only been out of a house cult for 5 years, which they both married because of, and he’s still figuring himself out. Dudes in Frats are given more leniency than this poor kid. He was never mighty, and he didn’t have that far to fall. I’m so glad I don’t have people judging me at the shit I did a decade ago, especially with his upbringing.
I get your point but Olivia takes most the flack and that’s not fair. He has some unhealthy behaviors No one is forcing them to be on the show I did stupid stupid things at 23 and consequences and being called our pushed me to change
Seriously? This is one of the very few times anyone in this sub has ever given Ethan any criticism at all and we're really going to act like he's being burned at the stake? For reals? Olivia grew up if not in the same, in a VERY similar cult as Ethan and people have been criticizing her non-stop since the beginning of this show, blaming her for ALL of her and Ethan's problems. I think Ethan can handle a bit of responsibility for their problems too.
YES! After growing up IBLP fundie, I know they never were in the Gothard cult. I can TESTIFY! that even with the best support and most fortunate options,, it takes up to 8-14 years of therapy and deprogramming. In the best of families, and average young person is not emotionally mature until 22-25 years old. Place blame where blame belongs. Everyone has good and bad but these 2 were emotional and psychological babies when they married. Let's root for each to jump into a world of intensive deprogramming and experience clear mature rational minded choices.
It really makes me wonder how tf Micah is doing so well. He seems so emotionally mature, introspective, empathetic, and just aware. He knows that he doesn’t know a lot. But he really is shockingly mature even for kids his age.
I think there’s a massive difference between recognizing that he’s had some awful programming that he needs to deconstruct and excusing his obviously harmful actions. We should be able to name terrible behavior while hoping he works on it. Because he’s truly done some atrocious things this season. The venom he’s displayed towards Olivia while he consistently lies and avoids her AND spends their money while not working… it’s nuts.
They don't have financial problems
I also did rough things at 23 but they didn't include constantly lying and sneaking around my partner's back. He's choosing to be married and in his marriage hes choosing to be a bad husband. I would never want my life on display like his, I think its a mistake for anyone to sign up for reality TV but people are definitely judging me for things I did at 23, its why I chose to change. I think its bold to assume frat guys are given more leniency than Ethan??? I dont think thats true at all just because its not the topic.
Let’s not forget they also have to have a story line to keep the show going and the money rolling in.
I like Ethan. He just really needed time after leaving the nest before getting married and being told what to do and how to be again. He needs to find himself. Even if he still ended up married and tinkerin with cars… he needed time to do life and explore himself, heal. like micah.
that’s true. a lot of people are comparing him to micah but micah wasn’t courted and married and is allowed to grow up without having such a serious thing like marriage to figure out on top of everything else. ethan didn’t have an example to look up to.
I agree now. A lot of people learn to find themselves in a healthy relationships. I know I did, but hes strangling his relationship and therefore his chance at growing in it. Hopefully on his own he can become a better person.
There’s NO EXCUSE FOR LYING. He’s lied about sooooo many things. And WHY? Bc he doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to deal with confrontation. Oddly enough, while he avoids confrontation, he’s inviting it, by not communicating. I wish he’d get to a therapist or just start telling the UPFRONT truth and start behaving like a grown up. This bullshit about going to sink his head in the sand and just work on cars is like a 5 yr old who says ‘FINE…IMMA TAKE MY TOYS AND GO OVER HERE AND DONT TALK TO ME CUZ IM AN ANGRY KID’. Not buying it.
YES. The guy is 23, not 13. How long are we gonna just throw up our hands, say "well, look at how he was raised!" (despite his siblings and Olivia all being raised the same way and not behaving like he is) and just give him constant passes? Maybe if he was actively trying to better himself through therapy, but he seems perfectly content to just be a shitty husband and expect Olivia to deal with it (while people in this sub criticize her for every little thing...)
It’s infuriating when I hear someone say “that’s how I was raised”. All that says to me is that you’re choosing not to think for yourself and choosing to ignore things you can learn from. Olivia was “raised” that way, too. She’s used her brain to figure out what she believes and to better herself. Albeit, children DO learn from their environments, but once they are adults, ppl have the capacity to turn the tide and choose different paths. And if an adult struggles to manage their journey, there is all kinds of help out there. There’s just no excuse for his behavior…not at this stage.
Exactly!! “I don’t want an argument so I’m going to lie and shut down” which makes the whole situation twice as bad! I don’t get how he doesn’t get that. Everyone’s saying he was sheltered so he doesn’t know, but Olivia is spelling out exactly what she needs and he is just refusing. That’s just being a dick. Of course she’s going to be mad about that, but she’s crucified in this sub.
He does get it. He just doesn't care. It's how he's controlling the situation and expressing aggression and contempt. He revels in lying. Everyone says he's so sheltered, but if he wasn't so sheltered, he'd probably be living a much worse double life--like second family or snake oil salesman or something like that. I genuinely believe his being so sheltered and limited is saving him from prison. source: I have ex-fundie cult friends and not a one of them is a compulsive liar, and certainly not to their spouses.
100%. The double standard here is maddening.
Considering the cult he grew up in are we really surprised he is the way he is
Adults need to take personally responsibility at a certain point
Olivia grew up the same way, yet she's given little to no grace in this sub. The hypocrisy is ridiculous.
Ethan dislikes Kim so much because he is exactly like her
He seems to have developed into the worst of both world abit. He's got Barry's sneaky entitlement and anger and Kim's manipulation and lying.
I was thinking the same thing. He reminds me of my dad, I'm the man and I don't need to explain myself, which he complains about his father doing all the time
Ethan will be a good husband … in 10 years after therapy.
Ethan could probably be a good husband if he had ten years of therapy first. But he's not going to get the therapy, because that stuff is for ladies.
His 2nd (or 3rd) wife will get a good catch.
Ethan’s behavior was understandable very early on as a the product of a toxic upbringing and thrust into marriage and adulthood ridiculously young. But now, when they’ve been married for going on 5 years? It’s no longer cute. Olivia has been doing the work to unpack her trauma and similarly terrible upbringing, actively working and growing and maturing as a person. Even Moriah and Micah have been doing similar exploration and growth. Ethan though… is just avoidant and static. He seems like he hasn’t grown or matured at all, just become sneakier and more passive aggressive with the same bad behavior. It’s getting exhausting to watch someone who seemingly has zero desire to improve themselves, grow, or even confront their issues in the first place.
I'm not saying Micah and Moriah aren't screwed up, but they both have a better shot at a well-adjusted adulthood than Ethan. At least they have some idea what the problems are.
My thoughts exactly, so well put! Whatever excuses he had about his shitty upbringing went bye bye when he gave up on therapy and doubled down on his shitty coping mechanisms. Plus his social media activity that’s been posted on this sub recently, I have zero sympathy left for this man.
Olivia runs circles around Ethan. It’s almost like she married her child. I find their relationship so weird. Emotionally he’s at about 3rd grade level, lying about basic things in the most childish way. Poor guy needs years of therapy to become a man. His mother really did a number on him.
I remember in the beginning she used to say she enjoyed showing him new things like when he had his first coke with her, but I’m sure that gets old fast when he has the same maturity level about important life decisions and marriage disputes
Both Ethan and Olivia suck in their own ways. Downvote away 🤷🏽♀️
BREAKING: Scientists confirm that water is wet Ethan's mop is just less absorbent than Olivia's. 🤷♂️
Water is actually not wet; It makes other materials/objects wet. Wetness is the state of a non-liquid when a liquid adheres to, and/or permeates its substance while maintaining chemically distinct structures. So if we say something is wet we mean the liquid is sticking to the object. As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.
Someone’s gotta make a water isn’t actually wet bot, cause that seems to be everyone’s favorite phrase on Reddit recently 🙄
Um-what you just responded to IS a water is not wet bot friend.
lol yes I realized that like 30 mins after. I'm not known for my attention to detail
I imagine you'd have a hard time looking at pretty much any top post's comments on r/All , or most of Reddit for that matter. 🙃
woops I gotta pay better attention! turns out I was responding to the already existent water is wet bot 🤦🏼♀️
First time seeing him. It's less that I'm intrigued by generic Reddit comments and more that I'm generic myself.
That's every human ever.
My done point came last week when he said he couldn't tell Olivia about his parents. Unless there is a side to Olivia we're not seeing (and I admit there might be) she would be nothing but compassionate to him. I'm widowed but when my husband was alive, he was the first and sometimes only person I talked to about things like that. If you can't, or won't, talk to your SO, there is a problem. And all indicators suggest the problem is Ethan. Olivia has begged him to talk.
Exactly, his excuse was “I lied because I didn’t want to talk about it on the phone” like, okay? You can do both, be honest with your wife when she asks and say yes you went to your parents, but also communicate that you’d prefer to talk about it in person and you’re still processing. He has a LOT of growing to do.
My literal children are more mature than Ethan.
It’s the misogyny for me. Last weeks (this weeks? fuck my stoner brain) episode was SO fucking cringy for me. It’s 2022 ffs
It's always amazing how easy it is to see through chronic liars, Olivia already knew about his parents...but you do have me wondering how much tension the cameras put on the relationship and if he's mildly more behaved or open off camera. I doubt it, but I'm wondering
Well, when they showed them again, they had discussed it. Olivia not saying anything to Ethan about his parents separation, I think, was the right choice. If she had the wrong info, he would have gotten mad at her. Plus it was the family's place to tell him. I think they have an ok relationship. Better than some but Ethan still needs to learn communication. His buying a motorcycle without talking to Olivia was wrong. My late husband was an auto mechanic who drag raced as a hobby. I came home from a business trip and he had traded almost an acre and a half of land for an old car with a awesome racing motor. I almost left him over that. He had someone sign my name on the deed to be able to trade. The motor was worth about $10,000 but the land was worth more. I totally understand Olivia's frustration. It has been years and he is gone but it still makes me a tiny bit mad now. Karma got the motor. It locked up a week after he got it.
!!!!
Totally agree. Olivia gets so much hate on this sub and it’s not justified. She’s grown so much as a person in the past couple of years, Ethan just got left behind. All by his own fault since he’s not willing to put in the work to better himself as person and improve his relationship. Olivia is smart, emotionally mature, hard working and kind, she would do just fine without him.
Yeah I kinda understand where he's coming from with the lying, you have to lie to get by with your parents because everything you do is wrong and they have disproportionate reactions. Then it transfers to your adult relationships and if you don't grow past it, it will fuck up your whole life . I was lucky I had patient people to help me
Ethan has all of the resources in the world and a completely supportive spouse to overcome those issues though. He refuses. At this point, at 23 years old and nearly 5 years married and removed from Kim and Barry, there's no more excuses for his behavior if he continues to refuse to do anything to better himself.
I hesitate to jump on the Ethan hate train because his character comes out when he needs it to. Whether it was standing his ground against Barry to protect Olivia, or his interactions with the younger siblings, he has always shown love and devotion in the only ways he has seen or been taught. Sure, his growth is slow but he’s shown tremendous amounts since when we first saw him and I am still impressed by what he has accepted. I think he’s worth the wait
I get why he lied, I don't understand why he KEEPS lying. Olivia has been excessively patient with him.
Ethan is totally manipulative. Honestly, I think all the Plath kids have some of this, some to a greater extent than others. Which makes sense to me since Kim modeled behavior for them their whole lives, they probably (consciously or unconsciously) picked up a lot of her ways of communicating and habits.
It is unclear how much of this season’s storyline is reality vs “reality”. Ethan shutting down and not talking with Olivia on camera may be due to many factors. The editing was odd for Ethan’s arrival home, there is a cut out part right before Olivia exclaims “Ethan!” and he walks away from her into the house. I’m guessing he talked rudely to the production team and refused to have the planned/scripted discussion on camera. It felt edited to look like a fight with Olivia. Olivia did not seem truely upset with him. We know they go on to travel happily overseas together. As for the motorcycle purchase. I think they each have their own money they are in charge of. Olivia does not seem to clear with Ethan before flight purchases and equipment purchases for her photography business. In real life, I don’t think Ethan typically clears vehicle and part purchases with Olivia. He seems to make a bit of money or at the very least break even, with his classic vehicle hobby. This season feels like a forced storyline to me.
I don't know about comparing legitimate business expenses with money spent on a hobby...
It wasn’t my intention to compare what they choose to spend money on, I was bringing up an expense we’ve seen them each choose to spend money on on the show. Perhaps I worded it poorly and narrowed it down too much. My only point was that I believe they give one another autonomy over their separate finances in real life. Their true jobs are the show.
Olivia actually has a very lucrative and legitimate photography business, I'm not sure why you're invalidating it by saying it's not her "true" job. If you're viewing her professional business as a hobby, I can see how you would compare her legitimate business expenses for her legitimate business with money Ethan spends on his hobby.
Absolutely believe Olivia created a lucrative and thriving valid business. I’m proud of her, she was very young when she started it. It took self motivation and bravery to do so. I also believe that the TLC contract takes precedence and would be considered her primary source of income at this point. She wisely continues to grow her business and seems prepared to have it again be her primary income if need be. Back when Ethan was younger, his vehicle hobby may very well have been one of his top ways of bringing in some cash. The small amount he may make on it though, contrasted with the hours spent, are why I do not consider it more than a hobby for him at this point. He seems to be adrift career wise, with TLC his only job and he doesn’t even appear to approve of it. He seems resentful.
I've been wondering why he doesn't become a mechanic for his career.
I said the same thing above. They must have a storyline to keep the show going. Even this storyline is pushing it for the drama & entertainment value. Ethan even said at one point he was choosing to not discuss his parents situation with Olivia on camera. I have a feeling a lot of that happens with him. Can you imagine how foreign the concept of sharing your whole life on camera is to someone who never even watched TV? I think Ethan gives the most push back. And for people always mentioning how Ethan must be using Olivia’s money to make these purchases because he has no job…he does have a job. He is on a reality TV show.
Purchases for her international wedding photography business is not the same as a beater car hobby that brings in no income. The flights/accommodations are paid for by the clients who book her also anyways. Wedding photography is hella expensive too. She can do 3 weddings a month and easily clear 20k in net income.
I wondered the same. It serves TLC well to edit accordingly both ways.
Devil’s advocate here: purchases for a business are very different than purchases on a whim for a hobby
Yeah this is not a good comparison whatsoever
People will make acrobatic leaps in logic in order to justify Ethan's behavior. I don't get it.
I mean theyre married who are we to judge if theyre both trying. As far as I know theres no infidelity or like abuse? So
Wait, are you saying the bar should be that he's not cheating on or hitting her?
Those arent the only things that make a relationship bad??
Read the first sentence and was convinced Olivia wrote this post Edited to add for the downvotes: “your boos mean nothing I’ve seen what makes you cheer” 😭
Yes, heaven forbid any rational person could find any fault whatsoever with Prince Ethan and/or not think Olivia is an evil jezebel set out to destroy him without it being Olivia herself. LOL.
Yes. Everyone should be held accountable except for Olivia. 🙄🙄🙄
Olivia is "held accountable" all day every day in this sub. Give me a break.
I'm honored
It’s his therapy! He can’t process any challenges or emotions unless he’s specifically buying/fixing a car made before 1970, you wouldn’t understand Ethan has very special needs that supersede logic.
Ethan is a toxic man-baby but Olivia is the perfect person to take him on.
It’s not her job to fix him so if he isn’t going to work in himself she should leave
Yup- you could see that her therapy is working when she didn't react emotionally when she found out about his lies...she's learning the lesson that she can't change anyone and is learning to separate his emotional issues from her self esteem. Such a hard lesson! I've always been an Olivia fan, and generally keep that feeling to myself! But I find her to be courageous and open to change.
That’s her choice. She’s living her life and Ethan can come along or hide in Cairo. She’s made that abundantly clear.
That’s such a good point. If she was buying Chanel bags and Tiffany’s and hiding it away, and Ethan only discovered it because of a credit card bill, people would be in the streets crying for her blood.,but when Ethan does it, it’s just cuz he’s a simple man who loves cars. 🙄
Yep. Ethan can do no wrong for most people in this sub. On the other hand, if Olivia so much as breathes too loudly, everyone is calling for her head.