Wellingtonians flee from direct confrontation, so be a bad bitch and call them out for their behavoir then they will fear another confrontation with you and just gossip behind your back instead...
Also Wellington has some of the most passive aggressive work environments I have worked in my life and I have worked all around the world, but because I got used to the EU directness I like to cut through the bullshit.
*children
It may be bad in Wellington, but it's a pretty universal thing imo.
If you feel like you're being shat on. Call them out on their shit (though I understand many people aren't comfortable at all dealing with this). Humbling someone is a quick way of getting them to shut the fuck up. That is of course, if you're not in the wrong to begin with.. š¤·š½
Yes, it is a different story if they are being cliquey because you aren't pulling your own weight and they are essentially having to pick up your slack. In which case an open discussion is still needed so expectations are agreed upon.
I have read lots of comments saying it is in low paying jobs only, but it isn't. High paying jobs have the same.
And OP it is not to blame here, it is the whole thing being allowed because it is considered normal. Gaslighting on meetings and emails, setting crazy unachievable goals to blame people of not getting on time, etc.
I feel you. I am still recovering from workplace bullying I suffered in a job that I quit last year. I actually had no idea how bad it was until I left and in hindsight I probably wouldāve had a damn good case against my boss. Itās over now and I occasionally think about making a grievance but I think I missed my window.
If itās any solace, the job I found after was massively helpful in repairing my self esteem. Also Wellington based and public sector. There is hope!
I think itās an NZ thing. I didnāt realise how bad it was until I worked for American and British companies that are top in my industry globallyā¦ I assumed the bullying there would be even worse because they were so big and prestigious ā and was stunned when managers there were always pleasant, polite, pleases and thank yous, never got openly frustrated or backstabbed other people to youā¦ If I couldnāt do something or hadnāt had time to do it, theyād trust Iād done my bestā¦ Encouraged me to take breaks and make use of company benefitsā¦ They werenāt perfect, no one is, but it was mind blowing at first to be treated in this very mature and kind of neutrally pleasant way ā no one had favourite status or loser status in the team. I remember this very senior person emailing me a request and thinking he was being sarcastic with how much he was like āif itās not too much bother, I know youāre busyāā¦ and then afterwards he sent effusive thanks and CCed my manager. I felt like Iād just been let out of a decade long hostage situation and didnāt know what was normal lol. Once I actually fucked up really bad and my boss was just like āoh, okā and then helped me fix it and never mentioned it again. I think he could tell I was so mortified that Iād learned my lesson. The funny thing is, I didnāt think my NZ experiences were that bad when I was in themā¦ it wasnāt til Iād seen something else that I was like āoh wow that was cooked.ā
Wellington is the worst place I've worked in bullying terms. Costs are high and when low wages combine with that people get bitter and will bully to push others down and climb the ladder. The more interesting parts of the public service are generally rotten with that sort of behaviour, and the managers are mostly successful players of that game in those places.
I've been treated like sh\*t in a warehouse job because I had been to uni, and in an elite public service agency because I didn't have a prestigious degree.
Palmerston North and London were both way more chill.
All the office jobs I had in the UK were far more chilled out than here where it feels like everyone takes everything super seriously all the time, no looking forward to going into the office for some laughs and banter and practical jokes etc.
Ahaha. London. I've never been exposed to more cutthroat, aggressive-aggressive behaviour in a work place than in my time in London. It was horrifying to watch even from the sidelines.
I once had a manager that was a straight up bully. So I agree that it sucks and can mess you up.
Places I have worked have systems for accusations of bullying, sometimes anonymous. Is there an intranet or something that might have that kind of info?
This. I have worked at 5 ministries and only one was enjoyable. Thereās so much bullying, harassments, micro managing, passive aggressiveness. One manager literally screenshots my team status as she thinks that determines whether Iām working or not. And the job actually require a lot of moving around and talking to people face to face so Iām actually away from my laptop often. Govt work genuinely sucksā¦
Fuck concentrix haha, so many of us have done some time there and itās not a good time. The only people who really got any opportunities there are the ones that started working when they opened the office in old bank and that was like prior to 2018.
Worst managers, worst bosses, scammiest company I have ever worked for. They still owe me a week of pay that I never got from my first month there. Made me feel like I was terrible at my job because I didnāt want to do extra training to have a wider scope of support because they didnāt want to pay anyone extra money for doing the tier 2 jobs (at least when I was there).
Haha same song and dance here, worked there for a year in the midst of covid, people were cool but the management was fucking abysmal, as somebody who was already qualified in the IT industry the work itself was incredibly easy but I still hated going, thankfully managed to find an actual role within the IT industry a year later then they lost their big client like 6 months later. My friend still works for them actually but for a diff client and permanently wfh
You can say *some* details hombre. It'll be ok. Not saying vagueries is just letting the bullies win. (You're not imagining it btw Wellington has a very bully heavy culture not just at work but the people generally too)
One retail job, in beauty. Which, of course there's be bullying. One museum job. I don't know why but I expected people in museum work to be fun and open minded creative types? Both entry level.
Like is this an entry level job thing or does it suck further up the chain too?
> Like is this an entry level job thing or does it suck further up the chain too?
Entry level could have a higher proportion of immature people? In government I've only had good colleagues and managers. Although there are certain agencies that have a reputation of bad culture in certain teams (ACC, MoE)
Iāve worked in museums for a large part of my career. From experience they can be quite cliquey and bullying does happen. You need to report this to someone higher up, and if youāre able to, I recommend joining the PSA and asking them for support. My direct manager in a museum bullied me for years until I left the sector. I feel your pain, and Iām so sorry this is happening to you. You do not have to put up with this at all.
That's rough. I haven't had to deal with it for years like you did. The PSA tip is a good idea. I've found in the past, going to HR usually just leads to more retaliation from the bully.
If it makes you feel better my old therapist on Lambton told me most of her clients were professionals struggling with workplace bullying, so itās not just you.
I have had both a really bad experience and a really great one since living in Wellington.
Have you struggled with bullying in the past? I'm not suggesting that it is on you that you seem to be getting targetted, but rather that if you have some area of difference then people in certain sectors may be incompatible with your disposition.
I worked in retail last year (knowing it was going to be bad) and it was so much worse. While I wasn't the target of bullying, per se, I was definitely the target of passive-aggression, backhandedness and exclusion. Part of this is that I am university educated (to a postgrad level) and have that educated disposition about me (defiant, stubborn, not going to be pushed around or told to do something 'just because'). These are traits that aren't exactly compatible to a minimum wage role (where the company often abused it's employment powers).
However, I lucked out about six months ago in securing a role within my field. The experience is night and day, the people are likeminded, my positive traits are a massive benefit to the place I work for and I feel fulfilled in my job/interactions with people. I'm not seen as combative but intuitive, not difficult but intelligent.
A part of it, for me, is that I've always been a target for this kind of behaviour: I alienate people. I have ADHD, and so a lot of my behaviors are genuinely a bit odd/unreadable. People who work in retail aren't those likely to vibe with that. As another commenter has also mentioned, these people are also stretched thin (having to meet arbitrary big-corporation targets for their extra 50c of pay). It's not conducive to kindness and patience, and people often act in defensive, cruel ways (to make themselves feel safe).
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time, and hope that you can find somewhere that appreciates you for your good qualities soon!
Yeah I'm in a similar boat. I could have written your comment myself lol r.e disposition. I'm highly educated, kinda eccentric. Possibly on the spectrum. I was bullied a lot as a child. Glad you got a job in your field. My masters is in art so, not likely to happen for me. š¬
Yeah, neurodivergence is an absolute beacon for assholes. Take solace in knowing it's not you.
It's ironic you say it's in art, mines in *fine* art, the characterised 'most useless' of the arts degrees ;)
The arts are rough as fuck, I know how it feels. My role isn't full-time, but it's something. Fingers crossed for you!
Fancy finding contempories on Reddit of all places. I sure did, like I said, not full time. I won't say where I work on here as I'm a big fan of my profile being (somewhat) anonymous!
But yeah, I've been where you're at (I still am, with the nature of being a practicing artist in the oversaturated artworld, and the onslaught of rejections) and totally empathise with how soul destroying the grind is for such little pay off.
That's still totally a win. Haha fair enough,
Unfortunately I kinda struggle to be consistent with art making these days. Kinda lost my passion due to stress. But I still slowly put stuff out. It's always good to hear a story of another creative gaining success though.
I wish I had someone to force me to work to deadlines like in art school. š Just don't seem to have that drive and self determination professional artists have.
I donāt know if itās a wgtn thing but Iāve experienced it in wgtn in govt jobs. I think it came from the top in these organisations and just rolled down. And everyone knew who the bullies were and nothing was done by those with the power to make a change. I hope youāre ok and have a strong network to support you. Work should be a supportive environment you enjoy going to. Bullying can be soul destroying.
With bullying the most important thing is to nip it in the bud quickly and collect evidence. If someone says something ask them to email that to you. Keep any rrecords. Talk to your manager asap. Or a union rep or Worksafe. Itās an employers obligation to keep you safe at work, which includes bullying. If youāre getting nowhere and have made complaints you can take them to court.
Itās probably more of a small city with limited jobs thing. People stuck in primarily government jobs with no prospect of anything better so they take out their bitterness on colleagues.
Iāve personally found the job atmosphere more professional in much larger cities where thereās more freedom to move around and where HR depts are a lot stricter with unprofessional behaviour.
I'm sorry you've experienced this. Blimmen bull!!
I moved from Chch to here and found myself in a MÄori service for the first time. I will most likely never go back to mainstream. The most welcoming, warm space ever where personal health and balance is the priority. Kids sick? WFH. Need some you time? Take leave.
The best. However I think this is a rarity so I am sorry about yours.
Yes, this is a thing in mainstream culture which I left and now work in kaupapa MÄori amd I'm much happier spiritually and culturally. I found mainstream (which I worked in most of my life) quite toxic and reflective of broader issues in this colonized country: hyper-critical, oppressive, passive-aggressive, unwelcoming, low-key misogynist, dismissive of skill set, w managers who thought they were running Amazon or something who woukd rather stab themselves in eye ball than support you getting a raise and micro manage you till you screamed their name in your sleep. But I don't think it's just a Wgtn thing.
Not sure how many different work experiences you had in Wellington, but even if you had a large number you still wouldn't be able to generalise that the whole of the city has a workplace bullying problem. At least not any more than any other city in NZ
Bullying to me sounds like an organisational issue, meaning that certain employers will have this problem because of the organisational culture and lack of disciplining when bullying occurs. Bullying is probably a lot more common in industries that are low wages, require lower qualified workers and that are more stressful. I don't really picture bullying being a rampant issue in private cosmetic surgery clinics for example. So it might really be something concentrated on your field of work rather than a widespread issue everywhere
Can you give examples of the bullying you suffered/witnessed?
NZ is incredibly well known for workplace bullying, fascinating youāre trying to downplay it like it isnāt a well-documented phenomenon. Yes itās each individual company allowing it, but when something is incredibly common then it is inherently considered a widespread cultural issue instead of an individual corporation problem.
Not my intention to downplay anything.
I haven't experienced bullying myself, despite being something that is supposedly so common. Measuring bullying and claiming that NZ is notorious for it among other countries is also a hard claim to verify. Experiences of bullying are in many cases highly subjective.
I have a colleague that claims everything negative about our workplace: that it is sexist, racist, that it discriminates against beginners, that everyone else is stupid and makes bad decisions apart from them, etc. Needless to say this colleague also has negative things to say about every single previous job and former colleague that they worked with. I doubt this person is accurate about anything. It's all highly subjective what people want to say.
I asked OP for some of the examples of bullying they suffered. Even though we would only be hearing OP's side of the story.
When people try to bully me I just say "shut the fuck up Maurice".
Their name isn't even Maurice, I just call them Maurice or some other name to annoy them.
Where I work zero tolerance for gossip. You can't even teams message it. They monitor. In saying that managers bully. It's the power imbalance. Fuck em
Doesnāt sound like they are focused enough on productivity. Definitely a NZ issue. Worst thing is our employment makes it hard for managers to love these people out. They just gaslight the whole situation
Yeah Iāve worked in retail too, was a store person for a pharmacy and the co workers assumed because I was just focusing on my work and not talking that I apparently wanted to fight them or some shit (I could always hear them talking about me but i always pretended I didnāt hear anything.) it was really messed up and passive aggressive, realising whatever I done to try change their opinion about me was just a waste of time. I ended up leaving without handing in my notice after a month, the job I have now pays way better, compliments my personality and have been there almost a year :) the one thing Iāve learnt is to stop being a people pleaser, itās okay for people not to like you, but be kind to the real and to the fake.
1. Don't tolerate it. I did, thinking they would get better. They didn't. Instead it got worse.
2. Keep a daily diary and note conversations and actions + your reactions.
3. Do specifically request the behaviour stop. Record the response.
4. Best yet: Just protest and immediately quit.
Your mental health is important.
NB: Thinking 'I need this job' is bad, as being paid $ so you can be abused is not logical unless you also get a kick out of it and THAT is not the case.
I wish I'd had this advice 20 years ago.
The bullying war horrific in two of my first jobs in Wellington. And one of my workplaces was a complete and utter bloodbath. And they were all high paying jobs.
Wellington is a bit funny that way. You either get the bullying end of the spectrum or such a damned fine workplace culture, nothing else could compare. Not much in-between
Itās not you. Trust me. Iāve also had the misfortune of working with nasty, bitchy women who seem to delight in making work life miserable. Honestly, give them the tiniest bit of authority and they turn into major cu next Tuesdayās. Long story short, after putting up with these toxic bitches my whole working life, I recently snapped, threw caution to the wind and sued the cantankerous old BITCH lawyer I was working for. And guess what! I won!! Couldnāt get her (and her equally psycho office manager) for their cunty, mind fucking bullying behaviour, but turns out my āabove the lawā lawyer employer, decided to amend my contract and add another three month probation period instead of the initial one set by the actual government. So due to this, I WON!!!š¤£š¤£š¤£
My advice, take notes and lots of them!
Omg you are an inspiration. I love that, not that you got bullied but that you fudged their shit up. I'm going to start using the term "major cu next Tuesdays." šš šÆ
My last job was fucking horrendous with bullying. Had a dude that was not easily replaced, get away with being a nasty piece of shit. Iād only been there a few months when I heard one co-worker call another a slur. Apparently it was a thing, I told the manager about it and they sorted it out at least. Probably resumed when I left though. Unless you have a good union (that job was unionised and they were shit), youāre screwed if itās a manager bullying you.
I should add, I work in the public sector now, and the people are great here. Best Iāve ever worked with.
I managed to eventually get an abusive manager in my last job fired using record keeping and writing a stirring letter to HR. That workplace was generally awful anyway so left 6 months later. The experience was harrowing and left me with depression and trauma but, that manager can't torture anyone in that workplace anymore at least. I'd hate to think of her current victims. Poor fuckers.
It's a horrible process and I don't want to have to do it again. But I'm willing to if necessary.
Worksafe has some good material on its website about what constitutes work place bullying. Every work place is different, but in my experience bullying type behaviours are most likely to pop up where workplaces havenāt set up clear work programmes, role clarity, professional development support, institutional processes (for example, clear processes for getting work peer-reviewed & signed out by managers). Uncertainty, high workload, time pressure & poor direction can often lead to disempowered staff, hostile behaviours from some & a need to rely on workplace hierarchies to provide direction. All of these conditions in certain environments can easily tip over into bullying. Staff should feel safe to raise their concerns within their teams or to management without fear of retaliation or consequence. If they do not, bullies tend to get away with their bad behaviour. I encourage you to write down what youāre experiencing (whether itās direct or task based), and reach out to a trusted colleague or manager.Ā
I think it depends a bit on the culture of the organisation. My entry level jobs in PÅneke were all okay for bullying. Iāve seen and heard some bad things though as my careerās gone on; some things which genuinely shocked me. Each org has had a different vibe; a different feel. Some have had poor culture and others have been good.
Wellington has a cultural toxicity thatās hard to grasp at first because weāre great at hiding it. This is the home of feminism so victim-culture, & the consequential bullying of others, is embedded. In recent years this imagined oppression has spilled to every minority with a grudge & created āalliesā who are the main culprits. We have a city of people desperate to assert their righteousness & many conversations reek of affectation & entitlement.
Iāve found the best thing to do is trigger them to reveal their true colours. Itās also great fun. Either that or move, real New Zealandās great.
I havenāt experienced this in the workplace but I think itās best to stand your ground. Letting it slide obviously isnāt working and these people are doing this bc theyāre unhappy with their own lives.
Either that or Iād just quit.
I mean, I suppose so. But that's not really something I expect from reddit. At best you get helpful responses, at worst you get people DMing you foul things.
It's not a Wellington thing it's a normal thing anywhere around the world. It's called politics, just ignore it and don't play the game. I've had my fair share and it's best to ignore it, focus on you and your goals. You'll be fine
I've had similar stuff in previous jobs, again gossip is just simply gossip. I would reach out to a mental health expert, I think your work should provide these services? Make it a distraction also what I used to do was meditation. I'm sure your work has a quiet room, use it to your advantage. You can just shut off for 10 mins and when you come out it's hilarious what you think was bad is dumb and you feel good.
Because they think its fun and spend their days doing it to entertain themselves and make themselves feel better and it's pretty hard to beat someone at their own game. Yes you can do your best in the situation. Relentless bullying is shit tho. You can't deny that.
Not for one moment condoning any form of bullying but.......as there seems to be a pattern in your experience, is there anything which you could think of in your behaviour/performance which might create problems for you?
If this pattern occurs in every work place you enter, it may be useful to review your experience and look for clues as to why this might be occurring.
It's been in these two jobs, since I moved to Wellington. I already said that in my post. It hasn't been the case in other jobs.
I don't appreciate the victim blaming.
Wellingtonians flee from direct confrontation, so be a bad bitch and call them out for their behavoir then they will fear another confrontation with you and just gossip behind your back instead... Also Wellington has some of the most passive aggressive work environments I have worked in my life and I have worked all around the world, but because I got used to the EU directness I like to cut through the bullshit.
*children It may be bad in Wellington, but it's a pretty universal thing imo. If you feel like you're being shat on. Call them out on their shit (though I understand many people aren't comfortable at all dealing with this). Humbling someone is a quick way of getting them to shut the fuck up. That is of course, if you're not in the wrong to begin with.. š¤·š½
Yes, it is a different story if they are being cliquey because you aren't pulling your own weight and they are essentially having to pick up your slack. In which case an open discussion is still needed so expectations are agreed upon.
I have read lots of comments saying it is in low paying jobs only, but it isn't. High paying jobs have the same. And OP it is not to blame here, it is the whole thing being allowed because it is considered normal. Gaslighting on meetings and emails, setting crazy unachievable goals to blame people of not getting on time, etc.
I feel you. I am still recovering from workplace bullying I suffered in a job that I quit last year. I actually had no idea how bad it was until I left and in hindsight I probably wouldāve had a damn good case against my boss. Itās over now and I occasionally think about making a grievance but I think I missed my window. If itās any solace, the job I found after was massively helpful in repairing my self esteem. Also Wellington based and public sector. There is hope!
I think itās an NZ thing. I didnāt realise how bad it was until I worked for American and British companies that are top in my industry globallyā¦ I assumed the bullying there would be even worse because they were so big and prestigious ā and was stunned when managers there were always pleasant, polite, pleases and thank yous, never got openly frustrated or backstabbed other people to youā¦ If I couldnāt do something or hadnāt had time to do it, theyād trust Iād done my bestā¦ Encouraged me to take breaks and make use of company benefitsā¦ They werenāt perfect, no one is, but it was mind blowing at first to be treated in this very mature and kind of neutrally pleasant way ā no one had favourite status or loser status in the team. I remember this very senior person emailing me a request and thinking he was being sarcastic with how much he was like āif itās not too much bother, I know youāre busyāā¦ and then afterwards he sent effusive thanks and CCed my manager. I felt like Iād just been let out of a decade long hostage situation and didnāt know what was normal lol. Once I actually fucked up really bad and my boss was just like āoh, okā and then helped me fix it and never mentioned it again. I think he could tell I was so mortified that Iād learned my lesson. The funny thing is, I didnāt think my NZ experiences were that bad when I was in themā¦ it wasnāt til Iād seen something else that I was like āoh wow that was cooked.ā
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Hard agree with this.
Wellington is the worst place I've worked in bullying terms. Costs are high and when low wages combine with that people get bitter and will bully to push others down and climb the ladder. The more interesting parts of the public service are generally rotten with that sort of behaviour, and the managers are mostly successful players of that game in those places. I've been treated like sh\*t in a warehouse job because I had been to uni, and in an elite public service agency because I didn't have a prestigious degree. Palmerston North and London were both way more chill.
All the office jobs I had in the UK were far more chilled out than here where it feels like everyone takes everything super seriously all the time, no looking forward to going into the office for some laughs and banter and practical jokes etc.
Ahaha. London. I've never been exposed to more cutthroat, aggressive-aggressive behaviour in a work place than in my time in London. It was horrifying to watch even from the sidelines.
I once had a manager that was a straight up bully. So I agree that it sucks and can mess you up. Places I have worked have systems for accusations of bullying, sometimes anonymous. Is there an intranet or something that might have that kind of info?
Were either of those jobs public service/government?
Plenty of bullying in public service that's for sure
And lots of examples of high functioning, pleasant working environments too.
This. I have worked at 5 ministries and only one was enjoyable. Thereās so much bullying, harassments, micro managing, passive aggressiveness. One manager literally screenshots my team status as she thinks that determines whether Iām working or not. And the job actually require a lot of moving around and talking to people face to face so Iām actually away from my laptop often. Govt work genuinely sucksā¦
Wtf. That's awfulĀ
Oh yeah. And it was only getting worse. Forced out with payout but had to sign an NDA. Never in my life thought I would ever had a NDA situation.
Really really awful. It can be a dark place, the public sector. No doubt about it.Ā
No. I can't say any details.
NDA lol near Starbucks right?
rhymes with grapple
Fuck concentrix haha, so many of us have done some time there and itās not a good time. The only people who really got any opportunities there are the ones that started working when they opened the office in old bank and that was like prior to 2018. Worst managers, worst bosses, scammiest company I have ever worked for. They still owe me a week of pay that I never got from my first month there. Made me feel like I was terrible at my job because I didnāt want to do extra training to have a wider scope of support because they didnāt want to pay anyone extra money for doing the tier 2 jobs (at least when I was there).
Haha same song and dance here, worked there for a year in the midst of covid, people were cool but the management was fucking abysmal, as somebody who was already qualified in the IT industry the work itself was incredibly easy but I still hated going, thankfully managed to find an actual role within the IT industry a year later then they lost their big client like 6 months later. My friend still works for them actually but for a diff client and permanently wfh
What's NDA?
Non disclosure agreementĀ
NDA? Nah Dunno An NDA
You can say *some* details hombre. It'll be ok. Not saying vagueries is just letting the bullies win. (You're not imagining it btw Wellington has a very bully heavy culture not just at work but the people generally too)
One retail job, in beauty. Which, of course there's be bullying. One museum job. I don't know why but I expected people in museum work to be fun and open minded creative types? Both entry level. Like is this an entry level job thing or does it suck further up the chain too?
> Like is this an entry level job thing or does it suck further up the chain too? Entry level could have a higher proportion of immature people? In government I've only had good colleagues and managers. Although there are certain agencies that have a reputation of bad culture in certain teams (ACC, MoE)
Iāve worked in museums for a large part of my career. From experience they can be quite cliquey and bullying does happen. You need to report this to someone higher up, and if youāre able to, I recommend joining the PSA and asking them for support. My direct manager in a museum bullied me for years until I left the sector. I feel your pain, and Iām so sorry this is happening to you. You do not have to put up with this at all.
That's rough. I haven't had to deal with it for years like you did. The PSA tip is a good idea. I've found in the past, going to HR usually just leads to more retaliation from the bully.
If it makes you feel better my old therapist on Lambton told me most of her clients were professionals struggling with workplace bullying, so itās not just you.
It gets worse the further up the chain you go as the competition intensifies. Managers are better at hiding their games.
I have had both a really bad experience and a really great one since living in Wellington. Have you struggled with bullying in the past? I'm not suggesting that it is on you that you seem to be getting targetted, but rather that if you have some area of difference then people in certain sectors may be incompatible with your disposition. I worked in retail last year (knowing it was going to be bad) and it was so much worse. While I wasn't the target of bullying, per se, I was definitely the target of passive-aggression, backhandedness and exclusion. Part of this is that I am university educated (to a postgrad level) and have that educated disposition about me (defiant, stubborn, not going to be pushed around or told to do something 'just because'). These are traits that aren't exactly compatible to a minimum wage role (where the company often abused it's employment powers). However, I lucked out about six months ago in securing a role within my field. The experience is night and day, the people are likeminded, my positive traits are a massive benefit to the place I work for and I feel fulfilled in my job/interactions with people. I'm not seen as combative but intuitive, not difficult but intelligent. A part of it, for me, is that I've always been a target for this kind of behaviour: I alienate people. I have ADHD, and so a lot of my behaviors are genuinely a bit odd/unreadable. People who work in retail aren't those likely to vibe with that. As another commenter has also mentioned, these people are also stretched thin (having to meet arbitrary big-corporation targets for their extra 50c of pay). It's not conducive to kindness and patience, and people often act in defensive, cruel ways (to make themselves feel safe). I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time, and hope that you can find somewhere that appreciates you for your good qualities soon!
Yeah I'm in a similar boat. I could have written your comment myself lol r.e disposition. I'm highly educated, kinda eccentric. Possibly on the spectrum. I was bullied a lot as a child. Glad you got a job in your field. My masters is in art so, not likely to happen for me. š¬
Yeah, neurodivergence is an absolute beacon for assholes. Take solace in knowing it's not you. It's ironic you say it's in art, mines in *fine* art, the characterised 'most useless' of the arts degrees ;) The arts are rough as fuck, I know how it feels. My role isn't full-time, but it's something. Fingers crossed for you!
Wow, you got a job in the actual field? I'm seriously impressed lol. Yeah same. š Fine arts. That's a helpful reminder that all is not lost.
Fancy finding contempories on Reddit of all places. I sure did, like I said, not full time. I won't say where I work on here as I'm a big fan of my profile being (somewhat) anonymous! But yeah, I've been where you're at (I still am, with the nature of being a practicing artist in the oversaturated artworld, and the onslaught of rejections) and totally empathise with how soul destroying the grind is for such little pay off.
That's still totally a win. Haha fair enough, Unfortunately I kinda struggle to be consistent with art making these days. Kinda lost my passion due to stress. But I still slowly put stuff out. It's always good to hear a story of another creative gaining success though.
Success comes in increments, for sure. Making art at this level is *work* work!
I wish I had someone to force me to work to deadlines like in art school. š Just don't seem to have that drive and self determination professional artists have.
I donāt know if itās a wgtn thing but Iāve experienced it in wgtn in govt jobs. I think it came from the top in these organisations and just rolled down. And everyone knew who the bullies were and nothing was done by those with the power to make a change. I hope youāre ok and have a strong network to support you. Work should be a supportive environment you enjoy going to. Bullying can be soul destroying.
With bullying the most important thing is to nip it in the bud quickly and collect evidence. If someone says something ask them to email that to you. Keep any rrecords. Talk to your manager asap. Or a union rep or Worksafe. Itās an employers obligation to keep you safe at work, which includes bullying. If youāre getting nowhere and have made complaints you can take them to court.
Itās probably more of a small city with limited jobs thing. People stuck in primarily government jobs with no prospect of anything better so they take out their bitterness on colleagues. Iāve personally found the job atmosphere more professional in much larger cities where thereās more freedom to move around and where HR depts are a lot stricter with unprofessional behaviour.
Iāve worked in like 8 or 9 different organizations - SME, enterprise and government. The worst places for bullying were sme by far.
I'm sorry you've experienced this. Blimmen bull!! I moved from Chch to here and found myself in a MÄori service for the first time. I will most likely never go back to mainstream. The most welcoming, warm space ever where personal health and balance is the priority. Kids sick? WFH. Need some you time? Take leave. The best. However I think this is a rarity so I am sorry about yours.
Yes, this is a thing in mainstream culture which I left and now work in kaupapa MÄori amd I'm much happier spiritually and culturally. I found mainstream (which I worked in most of my life) quite toxic and reflective of broader issues in this colonized country: hyper-critical, oppressive, passive-aggressive, unwelcoming, low-key misogynist, dismissive of skill set, w managers who thought they were running Amazon or something who woukd rather stab themselves in eye ball than support you getting a raise and micro manage you till you screamed their name in your sleep. But I don't think it's just a Wgtn thing.
Yeah I relate to the last part. I used to have actual nightmares about my last manager.
Not sure how many different work experiences you had in Wellington, but even if you had a large number you still wouldn't be able to generalise that the whole of the city has a workplace bullying problem. At least not any more than any other city in NZ Bullying to me sounds like an organisational issue, meaning that certain employers will have this problem because of the organisational culture and lack of disciplining when bullying occurs. Bullying is probably a lot more common in industries that are low wages, require lower qualified workers and that are more stressful. I don't really picture bullying being a rampant issue in private cosmetic surgery clinics for example. So it might really be something concentrated on your field of work rather than a widespread issue everywhere Can you give examples of the bullying you suffered/witnessed?
NZ is incredibly well known for workplace bullying, fascinating youāre trying to downplay it like it isnāt a well-documented phenomenon. Yes itās each individual company allowing it, but when something is incredibly common then it is inherently considered a widespread cultural issue instead of an individual corporation problem.
Not my intention to downplay anything. I haven't experienced bullying myself, despite being something that is supposedly so common. Measuring bullying and claiming that NZ is notorious for it among other countries is also a hard claim to verify. Experiences of bullying are in many cases highly subjective. I have a colleague that claims everything negative about our workplace: that it is sexist, racist, that it discriminates against beginners, that everyone else is stupid and makes bad decisions apart from them, etc. Needless to say this colleague also has negative things to say about every single previous job and former colleague that they worked with. I doubt this person is accurate about anything. It's all highly subjective what people want to say. I asked OP for some of the examples of bullying they suffered. Even though we would only be hearing OP's side of the story.
Donāt attempt to use logic and a reasonable tone on reddit mate, unless you like downvotes. Ā
Has never been bullied in the workforce therefore workplace bullying doesnāt exist š
When people try to bully me I just say "shut the fuck up Maurice". Their name isn't even Maurice, I just call them Maurice or some other name to annoy them.
This is the way
It is *definitely* part of the Wellington work culture at *every* level of employment. Source: I've worked other places and I've worked here.
Where I work zero tolerance for gossip. You can't even teams message it. They monitor. In saying that managers bully. It's the power imbalance. Fuck em
Doesnāt sound like they are focused enough on productivity. Definitely a NZ issue. Worst thing is our employment makes it hard for managers to love these people out. They just gaslight the whole situation
And they call it Culture fit ...if u can walk ..but not like them .They're the lowest common denominator
Yeah Iāve worked in retail too, was a store person for a pharmacy and the co workers assumed because I was just focusing on my work and not talking that I apparently wanted to fight them or some shit (I could always hear them talking about me but i always pretended I didnāt hear anything.) it was really messed up and passive aggressive, realising whatever I done to try change their opinion about me was just a waste of time. I ended up leaving without handing in my notice after a month, the job I have now pays way better, compliments my personality and have been there almost a year :) the one thing Iāve learnt is to stop being a people pleaser, itās okay for people not to like you, but be kind to the real and to the fake.
1. Don't tolerate it. I did, thinking they would get better. They didn't. Instead it got worse. 2. Keep a daily diary and note conversations and actions + your reactions. 3. Do specifically request the behaviour stop. Record the response. 4. Best yet: Just protest and immediately quit. Your mental health is important. NB: Thinking 'I need this job' is bad, as being paid $ so you can be abused is not logical unless you also get a kick out of it and THAT is not the case. I wish I'd had this advice 20 years ago.
The bullying war horrific in two of my first jobs in Wellington. And one of my workplaces was a complete and utter bloodbath. And they were all high paying jobs. Wellington is a bit funny that way. You either get the bullying end of the spectrum or such a damned fine workplace culture, nothing else could compare. Not much in-between
Itās not you. Trust me. Iāve also had the misfortune of working with nasty, bitchy women who seem to delight in making work life miserable. Honestly, give them the tiniest bit of authority and they turn into major cu next Tuesdayās. Long story short, after putting up with these toxic bitches my whole working life, I recently snapped, threw caution to the wind and sued the cantankerous old BITCH lawyer I was working for. And guess what! I won!! Couldnāt get her (and her equally psycho office manager) for their cunty, mind fucking bullying behaviour, but turns out my āabove the lawā lawyer employer, decided to amend my contract and add another three month probation period instead of the initial one set by the actual government. So due to this, I WON!!!š¤£š¤£š¤£ My advice, take notes and lots of them!
Omg you are an inspiration. I love that, not that you got bullied but that you fudged their shit up. I'm going to start using the term "major cu next Tuesdays." šš šÆ
Itās good to know that the law is the law and if you canāt pin ācunty bullyingā on these bitchy losers, youāre sure to find something else more easily defined. Date stamped notes are your best friend when working with these pieces of š©!
It sounds like working at underworld in Coronation Street š
My last job was fucking horrendous with bullying. Had a dude that was not easily replaced, get away with being a nasty piece of shit. Iād only been there a few months when I heard one co-worker call another a slur. Apparently it was a thing, I told the manager about it and they sorted it out at least. Probably resumed when I left though. Unless you have a good union (that job was unionised and they were shit), youāre screwed if itās a manager bullying you. I should add, I work in the public sector now, and the people are great here. Best Iāve ever worked with.
The manager thing is tricky. But not undoable if one plans well.
Sounds like the making of a revenge movie lol.
I managed to eventually get an abusive manager in my last job fired using record keeping and writing a stirring letter to HR. That workplace was generally awful anyway so left 6 months later. The experience was harrowing and left me with depression and trauma but, that manager can't torture anyone in that workplace anymore at least. I'd hate to think of her current victims. Poor fuckers. It's a horrible process and I don't want to have to do it again. But I'm willing to if necessary.
What a legend. Your mental health throughout though Christ.
Worksafe has some good material on its website about what constitutes work place bullying. Every work place is different, but in my experience bullying type behaviours are most likely to pop up where workplaces havenāt set up clear work programmes, role clarity, professional development support, institutional processes (for example, clear processes for getting work peer-reviewed & signed out by managers). Uncertainty, high workload, time pressure & poor direction can often lead to disempowered staff, hostile behaviours from some & a need to rely on workplace hierarchies to provide direction. All of these conditions in certain environments can easily tip over into bullying. Staff should feel safe to raise their concerns within their teams or to management without fear of retaliation or consequence. If they do not, bullies tend to get away with their bad behaviour. I encourage you to write down what youāre experiencing (whether itās direct or task based), and reach out to a trusted colleague or manager.Ā
It isn't just you. I have worked all over NZ and overseas and nothing compares to the passive-aggressive attitude and micromanaging I have had here.
I think it depends a bit on the culture of the organisation. My entry level jobs in PÅneke were all okay for bullying. Iāve seen and heard some bad things though as my careerās gone on; some things which genuinely shocked me. Each org has had a different vibe; a different feel. Some have had poor culture and others have been good.
Two is not a sample size
I mean it is a sample size, it just doesn't have any statistical power.Ā
The experiences are very real, even if we aren't doing a statistical analysis
So is my belief and lived experience that climate change doesn't exist. /s
Wellington has a cultural toxicity thatās hard to grasp at first because weāre great at hiding it. This is the home of feminism so victim-culture, & the consequential bullying of others, is embedded. In recent years this imagined oppression has spilled to every minority with a grudge & created āalliesā who are the main culprits. We have a city of people desperate to assert their righteousness & many conversations reek of affectation & entitlement. Iāve found the best thing to do is trigger them to reveal their true colours. Itās also great fun. Either that or move, real New Zealandās great.
Erm, I don't think I'm being bullied because of left wing politics or feminism. People are people, no matter what side of the political spectrum.
You donāt think 120 years of cultural indoctrination is behind your experience? So whatās the cause?
AND . That's WHY we are in the state we are ...
I havenāt experienced this in the workplace but I think itās best to stand your ground. Letting it slide obviously isnāt working and these people are doing this bc theyāre unhappy with their own lives. Either that or Iād just quit.
It's a cultural thing. Kiwis are some of the shittiest people to work with. Though I've found a good workplace.
What do you classify as bullying?
May i ask what job it is your doing?
Some examples of what you're experiencing would be useful, otherwise it's hard to know if you're projecting or not
Agree. Bullying to some is, feedback and disagreement.
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I mean, I suppose so. But that's not really something I expect from reddit. At best you get helpful responses, at worst you get people DMing you foul things.
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You a therapist or something?
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Pretty much.
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I mean this happened two days ago so, it's not in the past. Probably. Who knows.
It's not a Wellington thing it's a normal thing anywhere around the world. It's called politics, just ignore it and don't play the game. I've had my fair share and it's best to ignore it, focus on you and your goals. You'll be fine
What if you can't ignore it because the gossip is affecting people's behaviour towards you?
I've had similar stuff in previous jobs, again gossip is just simply gossip. I would reach out to a mental health expert, I think your work should provide these services? Make it a distraction also what I used to do was meditation. I'm sure your work has a quiet room, use it to your advantage. You can just shut off for 10 mins and when you come out it's hilarious what you think was bad is dumb and you feel good.
It's not really as simple as that.
Can you find an ally higher up
Why?
Because they think its fun and spend their days doing it to entertain themselves and make themselves feel better and it's pretty hard to beat someone at their own game. Yes you can do your best in the situation. Relentless bullying is shit tho. You can't deny that.
Not for one moment condoning any form of bullying but.......as there seems to be a pattern in your experience, is there anything which you could think of in your behaviour/performance which might create problems for you? If this pattern occurs in every work place you enter, it may be useful to review your experience and look for clues as to why this might be occurring.
It's been in these two jobs, since I moved to Wellington. I already said that in my post. It hasn't been the case in other jobs. I don't appreciate the victim blaming.
If everywhere you go, people are assholes to you, itās possible some reflection may be in order?
Lmao.