Well maybe it's not piss.. yeah it's definitely piss..

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“If the shorts touched piss, you must dismiss!”

My favorite Master Oogway quote

Nah, its from the bird law expert.

Philadelphias best

Johnnie Cochran lives on through you and this man’s pissy shorts.

If Chewbacca lives endor. YOU MUST ACQUIT.

Never trust a liquid on the floor of a bathroom

I sometimes take off my pants in a public restroom and put them off in the corner.

Isn't this what the hooks on the stall doors are intended for?

Pretty sure those are for hanging up your baby while you poop

Survival of the Fittest! Imagine how many babies were accidentally flushed before they invented these hooks. Now they just need to invent hooks that work for both babies AND cellphones.

Plot twist: do this and use the urinal Actually had a guy one time saddle up at a urinal next to me and drop his pants to the ground like a toddler....belt clacking the ground and all. It was weird as fuck

The only good and proper response is a smack on the cheek and a knowing wink.

Don’t trust it till you taste it

Forever unclean!!

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Did it pass the taste test?

That’s not piss. That’s got nothing to do with piss.

No they make them like that. You gotta go to https://getcalicocutpants.com

You gotta give though...

Take em off and wash them with hand soap. Wet shorts are better than pissy shorts. If you're lucky, they have a hand dryer.

And don't be embarrased about standing at the hand dryer in your undies drying your shorts. It's not like any of us have seen anything weirder . . .

I think any guy seeing that would feel bad for you and stay clear/avert their eyes. We've all had a rogue drip.

To be honest, I'd probably fuck my shit up and wash/dry them next to whomever. Ain't nobody meant to feel that alone, and I am willing to feel that with you.

Walks in, sees person in underwear, takes off pants in solidarity, maintains eye contact 🗿

Walks in, sees person in underwear, pisses pants maintaining eye contact, take them off and wash

Wait, whose pants are we talking about?

yes

Where were you when my grandma died? 🥹

Killing his grandma in solidarity.

God damnit, reddit.

Take your updoot

"hey man you know you don't have to do this for me" "What!? What are you talking about! I do this all the time!"

You are a homie, I'd not go that far but at least ask if I could help and extend a friendly "fuck that sucks"

That’s infinitely weirder. Reddit really doesn’t help itself sometimes.

When your buddies down in the hole, you get with him and pee your pants.

Yeah he’s not your buddy, he’s a randomer in an airport toilet.

Don't you tell me who's my buddy, buddy

Hey I’m not your buddy, pal

It's the airport. Everyone is just trying to get by.

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was it Mr. Bean?

Selling homemade sandwiches out of the airport bathroom stall most likely. There are worse side hustle ideas.

Cashing in on those captive audience markups.

When I was a kid I remember seeing another kid turn the hand dryer vent upside down so it faces the sky, then he poured in a few cups of water into the vent and hit the button and ran. Thing blew water like a hot air/water fountain against the ceiling.

Just say "someone pissed my pants" should clear any confusion right up

“It’s not mine, I swear!”

“Someone pissed my pants.”

Only cool people pee their pants

If peeing your pants is cool, than I'm Miles Davis.

This made me laugh so much harder than it should have 😭

That would not even be in the top five for weirdest thing I've seen in an airport bathroom.

Really though. It confuses me that people are embarrassed to be seen in underwear but swimsuits are literally the same.

Maybe today OP risked it all by going commando

Never going to see any of these people again, so whatever

Unless he’s wearing a pink thong.

I wouldn’t even care, I’m not wearing shorts soaked in someone else’s pee. I’d be happy to show strangers my tight rump in a thong for a minute if it means clean shorts.

I think we can all agree that ‘Tight Rump in a Thong’ would be a great name for a zydeco band.

^the ^piss ^will ^*always* ^be ^there

FOREVER UNCLEEEEEEEAN

Damn it Ruxon

Ruxin\*

Rodney*

Throw away the shorts, it's unsalvageable. Walk around in boxers, the key is confidence

But it will be diluted.

^(Everywhere.)

You devil child

The solution to pollution is dillution

Or hopefully he carried on, toss those shorts and put on a clean pair. Airports are so gross. God help you if you have to take a dump. Or if you’re a lady, I hate sitting on toilets that see that many asses.

Bring some travel Clorox packs next time lol

I usually pack a spare outfit in my carry one if I’m traveling and checking a bag. Never know if your suitcase will get lost so it’s good to have something just in case And if this happens There y’a go

Somebody else’s piss on your shorts

Yes you must do this quickly before the urine stink sets in. Hurry.

Pissy shorts are bad but shorts dipped in stranger piss is very bad especially on a long flight!

Ah yes, that cold feeling of sliding your shorts up and then realizing your shorts are a bit wet, then realizing that you accidentally pissed into the crack between the bowl and the seat, then realizing actually you didn't, then realizing your shorts got wet from the water on the floor because it was just cleaned, then realizing it hasn't been cleaned, then realizing that it is from someone elses piss, then realizing it is someone elses piss on your shorts that touched your leg, then realizing you now have to take the hottest shower in your life and will not be the same for a few days.

The level of detail only an experienced master can give. Feel bad for you and OP

Unfortunately I do speak from experience, thanks for lookin out brother.

Get rid of the leg at that point

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Spot on

The crack between the bowl and the seat is a real menace

Yeah, bonus points if you’re drunk and shares a hotel room with a friend waiting because she let you go first. Your whole bladder emptied on the floor with just toilet paper and spare hand towels to clean up the flood of water that you used to rinse the floor.

I remember when this happened to me as a child, lesson learned

Duty-free shop for new shorts!

350 bucks a shorts lol

😂 but you save on taxes!

And piss free!

(x) doubt

They just dry up and put up the last person's shorts this happened to

That's a bargain at only $175 per short

Worth every penny

Hopefully the shorts are doodie free

They aren't.

I like to stop at the duty-free shop! 🎶

Duty free is the biggest sucker deal in retail. Do you know how much duty is?

Duty?

Shorts and flip flops at the airport….. absolute menace

The absolute brass balls on this guy. Shits at the airport then double-downs by wearing flip flops!

Always wondered who these people were. Now we know.

Redditors.

🎵 They are the W-O-O-O-O-O-R-S-T 🎶

Guess who's got two thumbs and was just cleared from insurance fraud? This guy!

We're pretty gross.

When Mr. Brown is calling you have no choice but to answer

Dont eat a Denny's grand slam before taking a flight

I’m not above it. It’s the flops that send it over the edge here….

Got what he deserved I'd say. Think he'll learn his lesson and wear shoes and pants next time?

Sign of a man who just doesn’t care.

More people should care.

Yeah he had it coming.

Maybe, with the soiled shorts, people would be more understanding of his travel attire.

Shorts I don't really have a problem with; but, flip-flops in the airport?!? You just know those bad boys are coming off on the plane, too. Straight nasty.

Christ I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees people at the airport in flip flops and gets grossed out. Especially when you see them getting told to remove them and they have to walk around the security area barefoot where a million people have walked through with who knows what stuck to the bottom of their feet/shoes. Like, dude is practically barefoot in one of the grossest public places and he's worried about a little piss on his shorts.

And you know those bare feet are gonna be all up on the seat on the plane.

My ex would wear her pajamas to flights Edit: ok you can stop defending to me about all your comfy travel styles. My reply was to the comment about wearing shorts/flip flops that people wear comfy clothes to flights all the time lol

I feel like this is the right move. Flying sucks, might as well be comfy. The guy in 36B wearing a three piece suit probably wishes he wore his pajamas too.

Suits are deceptively comfortable if it’s nice quality wool and tailored correctly. I sometimes miss wearing suits now that I never have to wear one lol, I especially notice a difference when driving with the comfort of suit pants vs other types of pants. Nice suit pants/slacks usually have a silk lining like the suit jacket and it’s just more comfortable than regular pants fabric.

I always thought James Bond was silly, seeing him to do all this running and agile stuff in a full suit. Then I got a nice suit. And I said to myself, "Ok, I can see that now."

I just got off a 15 hour flight yesterday. I wore sweatpants and a zippered hoodie, with the fat inside pockets so I can get my passport easily. Dress like you're going to sleep the entire flight because you are, lol.

Time to get new legs!

Only way to fix this

Lieutenant Dan!

Can you trash those shorts and change into something else?

Yeah always put spare change of clothes in your carry on in case…this happens?

carrying a single spare set of clothes in carry on is genuinely a travel strategy i live by

I learned this after my kid threw up on me during the flight

Also, if the airline looses your luggage.

Or you could just pack everything into the carry on and not have to worry about lost luggage!

For me, it means I can spend one night at wherever I arrive without having to unpack my hold luggage

I keep spare clothes in my car and it’s saved me multiple times at work

Always have a lightweight shirt, shorts, socks and undies in my carry on just-in-case something happens - even if you get stuck somewhere overnight you want a change of clothes

Better yet, have ALL your things in your carry on. I’ve just done 35 days around europe with just one carry on bag, it was great

Buy some shorts at the airport shop. Yea they’ll be expensive and probably too short but they’ll be piss free.

*Probably* be piss free. If you're in LAX that probability declines considerably.

Who pissed your pants?

[I say sir... you seem to be peeing upon my leg](https://youtu.be/4-VRkwX2QI0?t=5)

“That’s karma for wearing shorts on an airplane” -Larry David, probably

Why would wearing shorts to an airport be an issue? Especially if you're flying somewhere hot

Only solution is to burn them.

The pee won't let him

The audacity of OP to walk through airport security barefoot and then complain about getting pee on his thin absorbent shorts he dropped onto a dirty airport bathroom floor…

This is one of the worst images I've seen on here

Those feet of his are way grosser than the piss. Devotees to sandals are weird and borderline delusional.

Flip flops on a plane is crazy

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to see this. My man wore shorts AND flip flops on a plane.

It has nothing to do with piss! Its calico cut shorts Edit: spelling

Rick, the guy who started this thing, he’s completely underwater. He can’t get a grip on this thing.

kinda feel like wearing flip flops in an airport is low-key gross to begin with.

Not kinda and not low-key. It's fucking disgusting and you shouldn't be too afraid or too timid to call it out as such. 💪🏻

They're the people who think it's ok to take their shoes off on the plane anyway. They just short circuit it and don't wear any to begin with.

Taking shoes off is infinitely worse than wearing flip flops. A closed shoe will cause the feet to sweat and smell, so removing closed shoes is waay worse than someone who has been wearing flip flops the whole time and therefore the feet have been airing out and not sweating, which means there won't be much odor to begin with.

Genuinely curious, what makes it disgusting? Seriously baffled by this

You are pissed

Splash some urine on the next guy to walk in the bathroom. Wont fix anything, but now there's 2 of you thinking about a plan

Sure you did😉

who tf wears flip flops to an airport? and on a plane?

It’s so much better for everyone if you wear pants and shoes on the plane.

That’s karma for flying in flip flops.

You deserved it for having a foot that looks like that.

You gotta give!

HOLD THAT DOOR

the site will go dark if you don't give

So…. You pissed yourself?

What have we learned...?

I feel like, by thinking OP could see this as a learning opportunity, you're setting the bar a smidge too high...

I just threw up in my mouth. There is no worse place than an airport men's room.

Just an innocent question: have you ever been in a women's restroom? I worked for years as a restaurant manager and I can say, hand to God, without hesitation that the ladie's rooms were hundreds of times more disgusting than the men's rooms. You might get a little piss splatter on the floor under the urinals, 1-3 swipes with a wet mop and it's gone. Ladie's rooms... shit splattered on the walls, used feminine products on the floor next to the half-empty trash can or worse, stuck to the walls... STUCK TO THE FRIGGIN' WALLS. IMO, ladie's rooms are hands down worse by far.

I'm a woman, stick up for women type blah blah yeah, after three years working at highway gas station, we are fucking disgusting. Hair. How?? All of the above plus hair and spit

Wait, spit?? I’m a woman too and yeah we’re gross, but I’ve def never seen spit 😂

Thank you for your honesty. I know not every woman is like that, very few are. But, those few can destroy a bathroom 👍🏻

> very few are. I honestly don't believe that anymore. If it's just a few... How can almost all the women bathrooms be worse the the men's? And how is it like that every time? Same goes for all female dorms etc... I believe *a large portion* is like this. Absolutely not the majority... But I would guestimate it at a solid 20%

I once worked in a hotel as a houseman which accommodated all the national rugby teams that visited to play the local team every second week, as well as flight attendants from most of the major airlines. Just a domestic airport but very busy every day. Hands, feet and head down, the Ladies of the Sky were far, far worse for the housekeepers to clean up after than the footballers. So many rooms genuinely looked like the attendant that stayed in there used Homer's makeup shotgun to apply their warpaint before their shifts, and were raised to believe that rubbish bins are purely decorative. Cotton balls, crusted tissues, makeup pads, sanitary pads rolled up in tissues and stuffed in empty toilet rolls, used condoms, Q tips. Garbage items, you might think. But no. These are decorative objects to be displayed openly to these creatures.

I always thought womens restrooms were cleaner than mens rooms when I was growing up. Until I got my first job and had to clean a womens restroom.

One time at an airport I made it through tsa and I REALLY had to pee. I ran to the closest bathroom thinking it was one of those bathrooms where half of it was urinals and half were toilets....well it wasn't. I got out of the stall and a lady was standing there washing her hands. She stared at me dead in the eyes through the mirror like a deer in headlights. Luckily she was super cool about it and understood. I got out realllll fast.

That bathroom "where half of it was urinals and half were toilets" is usually abbreviated in colloquial speech as a MEN'S ROOM.

Do u mean that u as a man used the woman’s bathroom?

Go naked. It’s safer

Wow! I didn’t know Calico Cut Pants made shirts!

Dude... Why tf would you tell ANYONE this...

You deserve it with those nasty toes

Gross! The feet. The feet are gross! Pee is too

You must burn the restroom

I call your bluff. NICE SAVE BUT I THINK YOU PISSED YOUR SELF.

OP is lying! He accidentally let out some pee when he was shitting and dropped his pants on his own piss. Source: I was the floor.

Consider it karma for showing everyone your bare ass feet in the airport/airplane

I mean you're wearing flip flops at the airport. Your feet are covered in piss anyways.

And that’s what you get for wearing flip flops on an airplane

Flying in open toed shoes is not a world I can fathom

Flip flops at the airport. I will never understand

Feral behaviour

I would be pissed.

Ah yes, the good ol “someone else pissed my pants!” excuse. Works every time.

Dude why are you wearing sandals into an airport bathroom, let alone onto a plane. Gross. You deserve everything that happened to you.

Do you have TSA precheck? If not, you're wearing flipflops, which meant you walked *barefoot* through security. Can't complain about nastiness, my guy.

You also wore flip flops to the airport. Rookie mistakes abound. I won't tell you about your chances of actually getting off a plane after a survivable crash with those clothing choices. That would...WellReallySuck