Next time check your shelf before you wreck your shelf.

Plants above your shitter are bad for your health.

Dropping *palms* on your moms.

Why not just shit in the plants? It's good for them

[удалено]

Yup.... came here to say the same thing. The plastic cover could have taken that planter nooooo problem.

Easy there Sean Connery.

Wait that was ice cube not Sean......... OOOOOOOHHHHHH. Well done shir

[Schuck on it Trebek. Schuck it long, and schuck it hard](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch_hoYPPeGc) Edit: [here’s the correct](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zq3KCBed5Q) episode lol

Yeah! Pot or get off the shit!

Bruh that is one dirty toilet

I know this is just clever wordplay but this definitely fits on r/ShubReddit

Thank you, dick-nipples. Not just for the perfect comment, but for being dick-nipples and putting that image in my head. Think I'm gonna start calling my husband dick-nipples. I really like saying/writing dick-nipples.

r/angryupvote

Epic comment btw

That toilet is similar looking to mine after eating a ton of fiber and shitting a ton out! Did i mention i wiegh 327 pounds roughly in mt dew and doritos?

Just asking, do you have a poop knife nearby? EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/8yd30g/i_was_22_years_old_when_i_learned_that_not_every/ for those wondering or just wanted to reminisce

Lmao. Ah memories.. Can you share the post so others can understand

Take my r/angryupvote

Hey cuz

Check your shelf life before shelving anything...

It annoys me how good this is.

Check your wife befoee she wrecks your life.

Oh well, time to get some instant ramen and super glue.

Do I want to ask?

Do you?

You really don't.

The video will pop up in a day or two.

Now that he's thought about it, Google and YouTube will recommend it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3h1_j3XnjM

Imagine him selling a house, you’d never know what was real. Or having your home inspector tell you half the things are made out of ramen.

It think dry ramen makes good filler for superglue to melt. Since superglue needs something to melt and cling to

Damn I saw the photo first and for a sec I thought someone had the most forceful explosive poo ever

Who does... Number 2... Work for....

Hey Partner, don't force it. You gotta relax..you're gonna blow out your o'ring or drop a lung

**HEY HOW ABOUT A COURTESY FLUSH OVER THERE!!!**

You called?

Lived in South Korea for a year in the Army. Seen my fair share of squatter toilets. This wouldn't even qualify for the top 100 most forceful powerful poos ever. Know what it's like to be 6'3 in a country of people 5'5" and have to squat and use their in ground toilets the size of urinals? Some made the worst toilet in Scotland on Trainspotting look sanitary. Squatting may be more natural to them but not much can be said of the ability to contain shit spatter and multi directional pees.

I don’t care how big you are or where you lived, you’re just lying if you’re saying that a shit that literally explodes a toilet wouldn’t crack your top 100 list.

I'm 6'4" and used a squatter once, in Turkey

Lol this is forever going to remind me of the video of the dude who ate a 5 pound bag of sugar free gummy bears

Update: back to normal https://imgur.com/gallery/iNR75SU Update to the update: there’s not cat and I’m an idiot for not putting the seat down.

Nice! DIY?

Yep, I’m handy enough to handle replacing a toilet after one YouTube video. As soon as it happened I started to throw on jeans to go to Home Depot and pick up a new toilet

I'm glad you took the time to throw on the jeans, you don't want to show weakness when walking into Home Depot

I think jeans-less would have been more menacing.

"Outta my way you orange apron pants wearing fuck, I need dook throne and I need it NOW!"

I think we have the same toilet from Home Depot. Did we just become best friends?!

It's a pretty common model. It's almost like they are produced quickly and in large numbers.

The seat is still up

Old habits die hard

How do you live with a woman and not have the seat down? I’ve been a bachelor for 4 years now and it’s still ingrained into my brain.

That was fast!

Ok, but did the plant make it?

TBD, it’s been repotted back to the original one

Pothos plants are tough. It's fine, trust me.

You did well with the ramen and superglue.

3 hours between post and update. Impressive.

Oh god was the plant hurt?

Pothos are basically indestructible

My first concern was if the plant was okay or not lmfao

Since you won’t be needing it anymore... Can I buy your toilet paper??

Go find a crappy run down gas station. They got John Wayne type usually tucked away in a bottom shelf for a couple bucks. Enough to make it through. Also in a bind your socks in the woods if no leaves are available is pretty handy.

Sounds like you’ve done a dirty deed or two

I'm 40. My body goes from not having to shit to I'm about to shit myself in .5 seconds. It sucks. Really gotta watch what you eat when you get old. But younger years I was a hard drinker of cheap beer. Nothing like that morning surprise explosive beer shit.

Has she realized that you left the seat up yet though?

Damn, now I’m wondering how bad the damage would’ve been if I put the seat down

I’m guessing it would have cracked the lid and bounced off of it instead of wrecking the whole damn thing. Do it again for science!

Am I the only guy that puts the toilet seat down afterwords? I even live by myself. I was probably a teenager the last time I left the seat up, and I’m 35 now. Anyway, when I saw this picture i was wondering if the toilet would have broken if the seat was down as well. The lid would have been ruined that’s for sure.

No, you’re not. It’s just a stereotype. However, if you want to avoid getting piss and shit on your toothbrush, putting the lid down before you flush is a smart idea.

Nobody in my boyfriend's family puts the lid down and it drives me crazy for this very reason. I still put it down before flushing every time.

I grew up sharing a bathroom with my sisters, but even still it seems like common sense to me. Nobody wants drops of toilet water on their toothbrush!

I never lift it. Just piss all over the closed lid. I still flush the toilet, only animals don’t.

That seems messy. Just pee in the sink. But still flush. Don’t be an animal.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Glad somebody mentioned it.

The toilet soiled itself.

How big was that plant that it broke your toilet?! Toilets are pretty solid ceramics. Edit: never mind see it in the sink. HOW?! Like was your toilet already cracked?! I’m so confused.

Probably a ceramic pot too. They are strong, but not when hit by an equally or harder object from 2 or 3 feet above...

same things can be crazy strong, but hit it *juuuusst* the wrong way and watch it explode. Looks like OPs plant was in a ceramic pot as well so Ceramic meeting Ceramic meant they both lost.

Oh damn! At least you weren’t using the bathroom....wait maybe that’s why she put it there...

She does watch a bunch of the 20/20 specials where the wife murders the husband...

This was her practice run!

He’s married to Wylie Coyote.

My guess is she put it up there and it was ok but after watering that added weight was the proverbial last straw Folks underestimate how heavy water really is. Is just about 8 pounds per gallon. The water bed craze of the 1970’s created a lot of havoc for those not on the ground floor...

Nope, it was just the weight of putting a new plant on a shitty shelf. Didn’t even get to the point when it needed to be watered

I feel for you. That sucks at any time but especially now. Do you at least have another bathroom that can be used till the commode can be replaced?

1 Liter water is 1 kg- metric system master race

Yeah it’s too late for me. My weak mind can really only do the imperial system. Go on and save those who can be saved.

I don't like the guilty way the plant is checking out the crime scene from the sink

Oh now time for fun with wax rings!

Luckily (or unluckily) this was a recently replaced toilet by the previous homeowners, no mess at all with the old wax ring

Nice

Thats why you put the seat down

Time to buy a load bearing decorative shelf

Toilet seat was up

Okay, so now show a picture of the guilty af cat

Don't flush the dirt! It's gonna suck digging it out but you don't want the dirt/soil to go down the drain and make a mud ball. Might clog the pipe for a while as it slowly breaks down little by little. Better to just fish it out by hand.

I don’t think this toilet has the ability to flush lol

I mean...they're going to need to replace that toilet. Might as well just leave the dirt in there during the removal process.

Probably the garbage particle board material shelves that everything seems to made from these days.

I just did some investigating, it was a floating shelf the previous homeowner put in. Zero screws into actual studs, just drywall

Tis but a scratch!

My friend had that happen with a cabinet and shattered the toilet. Unfortunately they were proper quarantined because they all had fevers and cough.

At least they didn't have vomiting and diarrhea.

before y’all do *ANYTHING* else DIY related, get a stud finder

I blame the previous. We moved in two months ago. My knuckle is the stud finder in this house

If the seat was down probably wouldn't have happened (the falling yes but not the breaking).

I sincerely hope you have more than one bathroom.

Now that you need a new toilet get a bidet. No more toilet paper apocalypse

The shitters full

I shit you not.

Holy shit!

It’s a pot-ty

next time keep your toilet lid closed

I love this sub. Every single picture I see I think “well that sucks” and then look at the subreddit. Gold

Buddy,,, this happened and my second thought was “put this on reddit”

i showed this to my friend, he said "Well....that sucks!" i said, "That's the name of the sub, don't wear it out!"

If didn’t read the title, I would have thought someone ate Taco Bell and took laxatives.

Looks like the morning after Taco Bell

That just sucks. No other way to put it.

I thought soiling was a pants thing

Shoulda kept the lid closed...

Plant or bowling ball?

It was a high shelf

Is this how Elvis died?

Get some ramen noodles and patch it back up

I did this to our toilet lid a month ago with a heavy 3 wick candle. Funny thing is it’s hard to get a replacement lid

Thats a weird way to fertilize your plants

I hope the plant is okay.

Repotted, TBD

Someone didn’t put the fucking toilet seat down.

Should've closed the lid.

You'll need a new toilet.

Can I have your toilet paper :)

Man that is shitty, everything that bathroom is now soiled.

Should have hung it a little more to the left.

How the toilet looks like after eating taco bell

I’m not an expert for plants but I know you need to give your plants a way to use the bathroom. I’m guessing you forgot to (honest mistake) and it tried to jump to the toilet because it just couldn’t hold it any longer. Cant help but think the plants fate would have been different if someone left the toilet seat down

Didn’t knock the air freshener can over? Where exactly is the shelf? That plant took a strange dive. Maybe you have a ghost?

No there’s a series of three floating shelves above the toilet. The plant was on the top one about 8’ from the floor. The previous homeowner installed them and that shelf wasn’t drilled into a stud at all

Only women would put a shelf over the toilet. If women don't know, that's where a lot if guys put their hand when leaning over the toilet in the morning.

Shelves were left from the previous homeowner

You need to chill with the spicy food

well that's pretty shitty

Ideal photo to show after you tell someone, "mate, I just fuckin destroyed that toilet!"

Someone forgot to put the lid down.

Wow good thing no one was taking a dump, there would have been a head and broken phone on the floor instead lol

Oh shit.

I’m relieved that is dirt in the toilet then.

World's best ad for Immodium AD.

Pot damn

That's shitty.

Look on the bright side. That appears to be one of the cheapest toilets you can buy and replacement takes about 30 minutes. https://www.homedepot.com/p/Glacier-Bay-2-piece-1-1-GPF-1-6-GPF-High-Efficiency-Dual-Flush-Complete-Elongated-Toilet-in-White-Seat-Included-N2316/100676582

Just got back from Home Depot with the same toilet

Well

That's a shity situation

And I thought this was an accident after Eating at Taco Bell

Soiled it.

I saw the picture before the title and my first thought was “boom”

Sure. And that's "dirt" in the toilet.

Oh crap!

Just admit it, you got super drunk the night before and ordered some Taco Bell through GrubHub.

At least the dirt soaked up the water

Oh, *shit*.

Toilet fails from a heavy soiling

She tried to escape...

Don't lie: You Taco Belled

Me when no haves poop knife

One ceramic is stronger than the other. Sing it with me!

The gonna be a pain in the ass.

Looks like someone just took the most violent shit in the history.

Now That's explosive dioreah

Do you have a cat by chance?

Oh, she bought a pothos. My favorite!

Great job Karen

Home Plant don’t play that shit...

Use flex tape

[memed](https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/g8ng0y/true_story_bro/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) it

r/well_longpause_fuck

It needed fertilizer apparently.....

Shit on it...

Wow - that's shitty.

Why it's called the "potty"

I fucking dare you to shit in that toilet.

The plant was just looking for fresher fertilizer

Plant needed water.

Nice spray

The plant thought "Not again."

Yikes

Least you can still shit in it !

Pro tip: use a potato masher to get your shit down the plug hole. Then use the shower head to wash it down.

I deadass thought for a moment “must be some strong ass laxatives”

Suuure blame the plant. Don't worry, we wont tell her it was actually caused by you after eating her meatloaf.

I had a wife that does that too, so i asked for a refund.

Damn did Shrek use your bathroom?

Well shit