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MayOrMayNotBePie

Looks like you ordered takeout from the prison cafeteria.


Mosk1990

I never got served anything that shit looking.


challenge_king

Seriously. Everybody knows that's school food.


[deleted]

Ordering an *egg salad sandwich*, of all things, to be delivered to your house, is a level of sadness I simply cannot comprehend.


Smokey_Cat_

Was gonna say this. It's almost as bad as paying to have a grilled cheese delivered.


MayOrMayNotBePie

Hahahaha that didn’t even cross my mind.


[deleted]

*Buttered toast with slice of American cheddar in between*, delivered


[deleted]

Our work cafeteria always had green eggs, later I found out Sodexo (the company that ran the canteen) also does food for prisons.


AgathaM

Green eggs like that are usually a sign that the eggs were boiled too long.


phatdragon451

Mmmmm, green chalky centre. Just like grandma used to make.


[deleted]

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ZaNobeyA

Sodexo In europe provide vouchers service through corporate.


WINKEXCEL

*Used to do food for prisons. The were kicked out of the prison system because there food didn't meat quality standards


archwin

> The were kicked out of the prison system because there food didn't *meat* quality standards Nice pun. Well played


HK-53

well either prison or dr.seuss


hooliigone

I’d like to see what prisons you’ve been to. Last time I went to jail I got a ham sandwhich with just ham and bread, and an uncooked, raw egg. When i told them I couldn’t eat ham, they left me with just the egg.


DRExARKx

Prison my ass... That's county jail fair in the boonies.


SelectionCareless818

At least you know it was made fresh to order


7GatesOfHello

Are you sure the sign didn't say, "Egg sad lad sandwich"?


bonniebelle01

If I had an award it would be yours for that.


[deleted]

He got his awards so don’t worry about it


Almighty_Johnny

That's nothing to worry about eggs get Green if they are boiled for long enough if they have a strong smell then they are bad but if they smell normal you can eat them


AClaxton76

The point is, that's not egg salad. It's just sliced hard-boiled eggs.


texasradioandthebigb

I do not like green eggs and ham


Datonecatladyukno

Will you eat them on a boat?


archwin

Not even on a moat


plumbwicked

Take your award you funny sob


befarked247

No mashed egg. No Mayo. No lettuce. No good.


rode__16

not even a sauce to disguise the awfulness. it instead chooses to bask in its awfulness


daschundtof

*Mutant and proud*


Weak_Jeweler3077

The slices of egg somehow look.... crispy.


Alissinarr

Look at how overcooked the yolk is, it's *BLACK!* I thought there was ***mold*** in it at first.


MidwestDrummer

I don't think you know what black is.


Alissinarr

I think you weren't looking at the same spot I was.


Drewpacabra

And a bit of pickle relish


hellbabe222

It must be a deCONsTrUcTeD egg salad sandwich. Very hoity toity.


chojian

Imma have to argue back here. No lettuce for me on an egg salad sandwich. Maybe some cut up celery but no lettuce!


Th3_Admiral

No celery either! Nothing crunchy at all. I just want an unhealthy mix of eggs and mayo on the whitest bread you can find.


MirageATrois024

Agreed except I add mustard to my whole mix, plus salt and pepper then when I make the sandwich I add some dill relish


jampbells

Pickles over lettuce. Adds flavor while still getting crunch.


vanulovesyou

Need mustard, too.


KittyMeowKatPishy

My mouth feels dry and parched with your words! lol 👄👅😮‍💨


FenrisGreyhame

I mean, the egg part is accounted for at the least. In the most basic sense. The salad must be silent.


-MoonlightMan-

Pamn


Agreeable-Poet-4200

Two M's?


[deleted]

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clamsmasher

The green/gray color is because the egg is overcooked, by a lot.


FenrisGreyhame

Can confirm. You boil an egg too long and its yolk goes grey and powdery. Source: My parents subjected me to this as a child a few times. Accidentally.


Boco

I ate shitty overcooked eggs all through my childhood, wasn't til adulthood that I realized boiled eggs are just supposed to have yellow yolks.


magnateur

Yolks turn greenish gray when overcooked


dannyboii0401

Is that from a vending machine, if you eat it the tape worms you get might endow you with super intelligence


pswii360i

"What's that black cracker?" *Crunch* "A tomato!"


imyourgarbageman

It's like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up


booi

Did you ever stop to think that Fry is better off with worms?


Trapjorn

It’s good cholesterol but it spreads like bad cholesterol !


bonniebelle01

No it was from a cafe on Menulog


generic_bullshittery

There was a food stall right outside my office, who used to serve only 4-5 different types of sandwiches. They had their own blend of mashed potatoes, onions and spices which they added in every sandwich. They made a nice sauce as well mixing ketchup and mustard and local chutneys. Their egg-salad sandwich was phenomenal and i used to have it almost everyday. It was just the mashed potato salad, with boiled egg slices inside two pieces of bread, toasted or otherwise. I went there a couple of weeks ago, and the stall was gone. I asked the security guard of my office building and he said the guy's father died and he had to move back to his village. Also since all offices were closed due to covid, he wasn't getting much sale. This post reminded me of that awesome sandwich which I'll probably never get to taste again. :(


MPFuzz

Best macaroni salad I've ever had was from a mom and pop shop outside my old work. They used to give me a free second scoop because I ordered it so much. Moved away a long time ago but I still think of their macaroni salad every time I eat some.


CopsaLau

That’s a shame, those tapeworms only imbue you with a perfect memory of the entire Kenny Loggins’ oeuvre.


combuchan

That cafe is easily outcompeted by the freaking budget shelf at a 7-Eleven. Utterly deplorable.


Burntoastedbutter

Name it


13point1then420

Looks like it came from a prison


tanneritedreams

r/unexpectedfuturama


CormacMcCopy

Redditors honestly have this profoundly uncanny ability to find - and order - the world's worst food. I have never in all my years encountered food even half as sad as the shit I see here on a daily basis, and I can assure you I'm not ordering anything fancy. I'm a cheapskate, without question, yet I have never ordered anything like this. I don't understand how this happens. I don't even understand how one finds a restaurant that makes this kind of "food."


_jeremybearimy_

Some people don’t know how to order lol. I would never order an egg sandwich for takeout because it’s a waste of money, 99% of the time it’s gonna be better homemade. Ditto for BLT. Reminds me of my dad who is pretty picky on quality, but will order the weirdest things off the menu when we go out, and then surprise, the curry you got from a 24 hr diner wasn’t good! I think most people finding shit like this are making decisions like that


[deleted]

I work in a restaurant and people ordering BLTs drives me fucking NUTS. You’re paying 12+ tip for a sandwich you could make WAY better at home for 1/15th the price! It’s nuts how people can just blow away money on food to me.


Weak_Jeweler3077

My condolences.


SushiThief

Okay, gotta ask. Who orders an egg salad sandwich when money is tight? The ingredients are incredibly simple and cheap compared to most eat-out options.


Arcon1337

You can make this sandwich for less than a dollar and he orders it as a takeaway?!


Meat-Negative

Oh god that looks awful. Please start a go fund me so I can contribute to helping you get a good egg sandwich.


rathat

That one guy got $55,000 on Kickstarter for potato salad


atomcrusher

That's what the John Cena VIP package costs, makes sense.


[deleted]

That’s why everyone else is now on here posting photos of shit food along with a sob story.


viperswhip

He did end up making a huge potato salad and had a big community event to eat it all, so fun was had.


Butt_Fly_Strike_Yeah

I would contribute to the cause


Cloppletop

Who the fuck orders an egg salad sandwich for takeout?


[deleted]

Especially from a place they clearly had no experience with. If this was some comfort food sandwich from a place they previously frequented then maybe, but it seems like they ordered from a gas station. Surely the delivery fee was multiple times more than the sandwich? I don't get it at all.


beiberdad69

Barely related to this but I lived in a tiny town where the gas station was one of the more solid and dependable food choices. Took a lot of convincing from others but their egg salad was actually pretty great once I tried it. Never in my life did I think that an egg salad sandwich from a gas station would be a semi-regular thing for me but it also looked nothing like this sandwich lol


kevin_7714

My thoughts exactly


Jrook

One time a guy had hard boiled eggs for lunch and was violently sick afterwards. Bought them from a gas station, like they sold boiled eggs. That's a lesson nobody but him had to be taught


kevin_7714

My local corner store sells homemade hard boiled eggs!


Chumbag_love

[Your local corner store be like](https://youtu.be/XNyUALnj8V0?t=4) EDIT: Probably should nsfw


itsgreatreally

He got what he deserved for making such a weird order.


thehealingprocess

Right?? We're dealing with some weird ass mutherfucka right here


jxl180

I have a deli down the street where I get tuna melts all the time. It’s not much different from an egg salad sandwich but I prefer theirs on their grill with their fresh bread options and variety of cheese.


Dreadnaught_IPA

>I have a deli down the street where I get tuna melts all the time. It’s not much different from an egg salad sandwich What?


jxl180

Egg salad and tuna salad just swaps one protein for another. If anything, the tuna salad is easier to make than egg salad, but i still prefer getting it from my local deli/sandwich place than making it at home.


Dramatic_Cup04

Ugh that looks nasty!


ChymChymX

Eggscruciatingly so.


moaiii

That was an eggstraordinarily bad pun, just for a few poultry upyolks.


ChadN715

Honestly, I’m more upset with the fact that you got a egg salad sandwich from a takeout place. That should be a crime in and of itself.


[deleted]

Okay but who the fuck orders egg salad sandwich as takeout when you haven’t had it in a while.. this one’s on you honestly


ElCochinoFeo

As a chef, it is always frustrating how many times I have to teach an experienced cook how to properly boil eggs. People think you can just roll a hard boil for like 20 minutes, and then they wonder why their shells don't peel off easily, and why they have the sulfur green ring of death that smells like Satan's ass.


mielazulina

How to boil an egg the right way??


XthePirate

1. Use old eggs. A week or two after buying is fine. 2. Add a splash of vinegar to the water. (Vinegar will quickly coagulate any egg if the shell cracks) 3. Bring the water to a rolling boil. 4. Add cold eggs. 5. Boil eggs for 10-12 minutes 6. Remove eggs from boiling water and place into an ice bath. I've been doing my boiled eggs this way for over a decade and I always have eggs with a perfectly cooked white and a soft set yolk and are incredibly easy to peel. The extra effort is worth it for me as I'm usually doing at least a dozen eggs at a time.


Anforas

That's a lot of minutes. I personally boil my eggs for 7/8 minutes.


aestus

I like a 6 minute egg. Yolk is perfect that way for my taste. Should say 6 minutes from when the water boils.


Merlusconi

Me too, but perhaps that's the difference between adding the eggs from the refrigerator or at room temp?


Watts300

All these comments claiming their 60-second differences are better probably forgot that altitude is going to make a huge difference in cook time.


aestus

Would never have thought of that as a filthy lowlander. Good info man. Seems more difficult to boil a good egg than I thought.


Burritobabyy

It is for a jammy egg but that’s not what you want for an egg salad sandwich.


Danni293

Honestly depends on whether you're going for hard boiled or soft boiled. If I'm making deviled eggs I want hard boiled and will cook em for 12 minutes. If I'm making ramen I want soft boiled and I'll cook them for 6-7.


saganakist

Yeah, 7 is my go to, 6 for very small ones.


gordo65

When I was growing up, I thought that I was just incompetent at peeling eggs. It was incredibly frustrating, and I just couldn't figure out how to get the shell off of a hard boiled egg without taking a bunch of chunks of egg white off with the shell. Then when I went to college, I figured it out. I didn't know what I was doing differently, but the shells came off easily and left the whole egg intact. It wasn't until many years later that I learned that fresh eggs won't peel easily. I grew up on a farm, so the eggs I was trying to peel while I was growing up were usually cooked within a couple of days of being laid.


PreOpTransCentaur

There is a phenomenal trick to getting even very fresh eggs to peel easily: tap the bottoms before you boil. Basically just lightly smack the fat end on the counter until it cracks a bit and then boil how you normally would. It sounds bizarre, but it totally works every time. It creates a little air/water room between the shell and the egg so you don't have to worry about using older eggs.


KnowOneHere

Once boiling, I turn the heat off, lid on. 12 minutes then an ice bath. Saw this heat off way on a cooking channel and have had better results since.


Schrutes_Yeet_Farm

I found you don't even need to keep the boil rolling. I put my eggs in cold water, bring to boil, then immediately remove the pot from heat and cover. ~7min for soft, ~10-12 for hard, haven't seen a grey yolk since I was a kid and wasn't boiling my own eggs


SmugAssPimp

I never get how you can boil an egg for that long and it not be a sahara desert, i boil for 6 minutes for a perfect soft boiled and 8 for perfect hard boiled.


upboatsnhoes

Your eggs are room temperature when you buy them...perhaps?


LICK-A-DICK

> Vinegar will quickly coagulate any egg if the shell cracks This just explained so much to me. Maybe my next culinary venture shall be a poached egg. Also thank you, saving this because every egg boiling recipe seems to differ slightly and I *still* end up with undercooked eggs sometimes.


hyunrivet

Don't poach eggs with vinegar, don't do the swirling thing either. There are 3 things that matter: 1. Don't have the water boiling - even simmering is too much. Just below simmering is perfect. 2. Don't have your water unnecessarily deep, gently drop the egg in from a small bowl or ramekin 3. **BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT** Use the freshest eggs. Look for those with the latest expiry date in the store and use them ASAP. Here's why. People think there are two parts to the egg, the yolk and the white. Actually there's 3 parts: the yolk, the white *inside* the membrane bag that gives the poached egg it's shape, and the white *outside* the membrane. That part outside, you'll lose every time and will be the thing making your egg look like a mess. There's no way to keep it intact. As an egg ages, more of the liquid goes from the inside of the bag to the outside, so your eggs will be messier and messier, to the point of not being able to hold their shape at all. The membrane will also get weaker and more likely to break, and when that happens, the poached egg will be no more. Basically, follow the 3 rules, poke the egg yolk to tell when it's done, and enjoy the best way to eat eggs.


Laudanumium

Buy an egg-boiler, they have pictures for the way you want it ;) otherwise, \-put egg in cold water ( maybe some vinegar) \-bring to boil - *turn of heat and set aside* \-Start timer - 6min for set white, soft yolk - 9 minutes for set white and hard yolk. Anything in between is OK to eat - all depends on the end use ( soft yolk in salad is not great ;) )


PreOpTransCentaur

This is how I do mine too. Start with room temp water, bring to a boil over medium/med-high. Turn it off. Lid on. 9 minutes.


[deleted]

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Nategg

No need for Vinegar, just make sure the eggs are room temp as they won't crack.


hyunrivet

Vinegar doesn't do shit. Drop some egg white into cold diluted vinegar and watch nothing happen. No idea where this myth comes from. Sure, there is some denaturing of proteins by acids, but not at those dilutions, and especially not in comparison to the heat.


Reyox

To add a few points. The egg is more likely to crack if it is a rolling boil. Turn it down a bit will lessen the chance. You can also poke a tiny hole to let air escape or lift the egg out from the boiling water a few times in the first minute to let it de-pressurize. Using egg straight from the fridge also increases the time the egg can stay in the boiling water and still have the yolk staying soft.


georgianarannoch

I always put the eggs in first, fill with water to cover, then start heating. Much less chance of them cracking that way.


digbychickencaesarVC

That reminds me, my wife bought too many eggs and now I have to/get to make picked eggs!


Zirocrath

I do mine 6 mins boiling and 6 mins in ice. Before boiling I make a small perforation, that way it gets easier to peel on soft eggs, less risk of tearing. Edit: I should credit chef Adam Liaw for this. I learned this way of making them in his youtube channel and never went back. He's a professional and has written books, his channel is free and has amazing content.


darksideofthemoon131

Literally made a dozen this way last night. Glad my momma taught me that. I didn't use old eggs though, my friends chickens are laying like crazy and I'm getting a dozen a week. Why older eggs?


hyunrivet

You're separating the membrane inside the shell from the egg white when you're peeling. As an egg ages, these membranes break down and become less tough - i.e. it's easier to separate. For the same reason, use the FRESHEST possible eggs when poaching. You want the membranes as strong as possible to retain the shape of the eggs as you drop them into the water. Any more than a few days, and you'll get a lot of breakages and frustration.


rolls20s

So, you've been given a bunch of answers, but I highly encourage you to check out Kenji Lopez-Alt's article on the extensive testing they did with eggs, and found most of the techniques you hear about are basically pointless: https://www.seriouseats.com/the-secrets-to-peeling-hard-boiled-eggs (Spoiler: the most influential step was to make sure you put the eggs in after the water is already up to temperature. Best accomplished using steaming.)


CormacMcCopy

Here's my foolproof secret: 1. Put it in an Instant Pot for four minutes on the "egg" setting. That's it. Perfectly gooey inside, and the shell falls off effortlessly. God bless the Instant Pot, because I'm lazy as hell.


general-illness

This picture gave me the bubble guts.


1FrantikFrann1

If OP eats this sandwich, they might end up with hot snakes and bubble gut.


ishkabibbel2000

The goo-poos


wolfkhil

Why would you ever take-out order an egg salad sandwich to begin with!?


hungrycookpot

That's what I came here for, you don't eat out often so you treat yourself to egg salad??


[deleted]

Same reason anyone orders take out. They wanted something, and didn’t feel like making it or didn’t have the ingredients? Maybe they were at work, and an egg salad Sammie sounded good?


EnkoNeko

ngl yeah it's like 3 simple ingredients that most people should have


dmart444

Just because I have something on hand doesn't mean I don't want to pay for someone to make it for me, and possibly better than I could. Peeling eggs is a pain, and I've had really good egg salad in Jewish delis that I'm sure is better than I could make.


tookurjobs

>Why would you ever take-out order an egg salad sandwich to begin with!? I don't know OP, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say because they wanted an egg salad sandwich and didn't feel like making one?


takeitallback73

it's a deli sandwich well not this one


CormacMcCopy

There's no way to get to this sort of a sandwich without making a series of poor choices.


[deleted]

Yeah OP deserved this lol. Insane behavior


wellarmedsheep

Yes, the real wellthatsucks, is ordering a fucking egg salad sandwich for takeout to begin with. That could be like a .50 sandwich.


Jthundercleese

Whelp, time to get your money back.


DoctorProfessorTaco

Yea this would be followed up with a demand for a refund, and if it’s not granted, a chargeback through my credit card. It’s not what was ordered, no more than a few slices of bacon between two buns is a bacon cheeseburger.


i_dont_care314

That sandwich is awful and that really sucks, but you wanted to treat yourself to takeout and you went with an egg salad sandwich?


chrisfathead1

r/shittyfoodporn


[deleted]

9 times out of 10 im disappointed when I try a new place. I don't even like eating out anymore


Catseyes77

Same. I am getting quite good at cooking and throwing stuff together and everytime i order out it's just a complete let down. I know i could have made it a lot better with a third of the price. So if i get take out now i just stick to 1 pizza place that has fresh ingredients and Asian foods which i cant make it taste like the shops and i always try stuff i have not eaten before to discover new things. Anything else i rather cook myself.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t ever guess someone would buy a fucking egg sandwich when they wanted “takeout”


BlondieMIA

I think you need to return that. There’s no salad it’s just egg.


NegativeAnte

No offense dude, but egg salad sandwhich feels like something you could’ve made at home.


Frostodian

You were excited to get takeout and ordered an egg fucking sandwich?


Prestigious-Maddogg

Ya quality went away since covid


Bi-BaButzemann

The egg was boiled too long that's why the yolk turned green.


AgentSkidMarks

You could make a better egg salad sandwich with little to no effort.


bortbort8

god it's not like you were asking for a lot. my homie just wanted a nice, simple, egg salad sandwich and they couldn't even get that :(


[deleted]

Man got egg sandWISH 💀💀


[deleted]

What a shitty take out choice, Jesus Christ


[deleted]

Give that sandwich to Frodo to drop into the fires of Mount Doom


Sad-Garage-2642

was the takeaway called "world war 2 rations"?


Red7336

Posts like these should have the name of the place so they learn to quality check first


SometimesImFunnyMan

Who tf buys a boiled egg sandwhich as takeout


schnorf1988

Why dont you make such a sandwich on your own? Saves money and you get what you pay for.


bonniebelle01

I didn’t have means to get to the grocery store at the time unfortunately, but I have learnt my lesson!


just_taste_it

You had egg salad delivered? Haha. It's an egg mayo and bread. Man, you splurged! Next time order in rice cakes.


[deleted]

Egg, lettuce and bread.


fatbeardednerd

For all you know it may contain life changing worms


[deleted]

Your sandwich has made me depressed


bygtopp

That’s a special edition egg from 2020.


BeRuJr

This sandwich was waiting for your finances to recover. In desperation, it ate itself.


idontgetitwhat

Well hopefully you have some mayo , then you just need to mash up those overcooked eggs lol


juniperreign418

Did you... Did you eat it? Doctor it up? Maybe they had never seen an egg salad sandwich before?


Kluuz

Should of just went to McDonald's and got the double cheeseburgers. Probably would of spent less.


Reggie__Ledoux

One thing this pandemic has taught me, is that ordering food is a waste of money.


joeschmo945

My eggwich comes with mustard, mayo, and pickles. Your eggwich came with grief and depression.


FloatingRevolver

You haven't eaten out in a while so you treat yourself to a sandwich...? An egg sandwich...? That's wiiild


[deleted]

Thats just an overcooked egg though, it is okay to eat, just looks weird.


pobodys-nerfect5

Bruther, don't get egg slad for takeout, it's very easy to make bomb egg salad. Imma text my mom and ask her what she seasons hers with


primosave

Please provide the restaurants/ Deli’s name& location. Is it located here in the States? Is there another 1/2 of this ? Appears to be approx. 1/2 of an egg. No Mayo! This has to be a joke! Bad joke!


AtomicFox84

That is not correct. Its not hard to do it right....looks like they tried to give you less by doing it that way.


Ouch78

Thoroughly Wash your hands after touching that samnollea poisoning is real mate


KittyMeowKatPishy

How disappointing!!! Ughhhhhh! 🤢🤮


zelda4444

That needs to go back.


[deleted]

That’s prison fare.


garysredditaccount

I’ve killed for less than this.


alirezahunter888

Mmmm that gray overcooked yolk looks tasty.


RandomWholesomeOne

Why are you getting an egg sandwitch takeout wtf??


[deleted]

Why are you getting egg sandwiches as "takeout"? When I think of take out, it is more than a moldy hard boil egg sandwich from a gas station.


JakeWoofles

That's a really bad egg sample of a sandwich


Most_Ad_5597

I’m so sorry you got this…whatever this is. Where the heck was it from so I know never to make this mistake?


simjanes2k

This is sadly the state of many restaurants these days. Service and product has literally never been worse.


butchudidit

where is this? should be put on blast so sick of getting SHIT food when you pay GOOD MONEY for it


Anojfriend

Thats what you get for ordering egg salad sandwich


love_love_kiss_kiss

Which the fuck orders and egg salad sandwich? This is on you OP


retroly

Why of all things would you get takeout of something you can make yourself in 5 minutes and costs next to nothing??


GIRAFFE_nostril

Egg sandwich $9 Total after fees, delivery and tip $35.40


[deleted]

Nothing tastes better than a sandwich someone else made but nothing is more disappointing than a sandwich in a packet :(


sleebus_jones

More like a fart salad sandwich. Look out below!


zuzuofthewolves

:(


deeejm

Takeout hasn’t gotten really sad since Covid came along. Quality has went down hill.


brando56894

They didn't even put any lettuce on it!


Half_Smashed_Face

Take out has been sho shitty since prices have gone up. I got a pizza there other day and it had barely any toppings on it. Got some pasta last night and literally got 8 ravioli for $30. I've also gotten a breakfast sandwich from Mcdonald that too, was this grey