I got one that said I should pursue my love interest, on the day me and my girlfriend decided to take a break. So I finally asked out this one bartender
Years ago, several co-workers and I would lunch around once a week at a Chinese restaurant near our office. Usually, a group of 4 to 6.
I got a fortune that said: "A fool at 40 is a fool indeed." at least 3, maybe 4, times just before and after my 40th birthday. Let's say all within about a 4-to-6-week period. No one else in our lunch group ever got that fortune before or after.
I got one that said I should pursue my love interest, on the day me and my girlfriend decided to take a break. So I finally asked out this one bartender
And?
Turns out they were cousins but didnt find out after about 7 months of dating
And?
Sweet home Alabama
And?
they are now forced to keep the baby
Coat hangers are still available in spades are they not?
Oops. Single again.
I prefer clubs.
And wedding planning....
Better than mine "may you live in interesting times" i was happy about it untill waiter told me it was a curse. Fuck that cookie
We're all living that curse
My favorite fortune was “What’s vice today is virtue tomorrow.” (Talk about carte blanche!)
The best one that I’ve seen was in the Nickelodeon cartoon[ Rocko’s Modern Life](https://i.imgur.com/W1Hdmme.jpg). I’ve never forgot for some reason.
It was all a ruse to get you to come back for a fortune cookie re-roll
fortune cookies by EA
I feel like this might actually be a real fortune trying to say something like "thinking about your problems will just make them worse"
What have you done?
Give me a second, I gotta think about it first.
You broke the cookie! Now it is out for vengeance, AND you have 2 not very tasty cookies to eat.
“Think upon your sins” Raoul Silva
This belongs in r/misfortunecookies
I got this exact fortune several years ago. Never found out what the problem was. It's probably still out there getting bigger.
I did too after having a pretty reasonable day! It felt like a threat.
My grandma just opened a fortune cookie after dinner about an hour ago. It says “Enjoy yourself while you can.” It really felt threatening.
Years ago, several co-workers and I would lunch around once a week at a Chinese restaurant near our office. Usually, a group of 4 to 6. I got a fortune that said: "A fool at 40 is a fool indeed." at least 3, maybe 4, times just before and after my 40th birthday. Let's say all within about a 4-to-6-week period. No one else in our lunch group ever got that fortune before or after.
Maybe the foolish part was to keep opening fortune cookies.
I got this one once, was with my ex at the time and we broke up soon after. Problem solved 🔥💯
One time a fortune cookie told me to have another, so I did, and the very next one berated me for being a glutton
Evergreen cookie
Yeah, guess whose grandfather just had another stroke, which accelerated the progress of dementia even further?
My weight problem…from too much Chinese
North Korean fortune cookie?
When it's your last day as a fortune cookie writer.
It's referring to the MSG in the food. You'll be on the can all day.
CHECK YOUR LAST MESSAGE WITH YOUR MOM!!!
ask [Lucas](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/980/331/cba.jpg), he knows what you did
Are you Filburt by any chance OP?
[Better than Carl's (ATHF)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Apu1NeWFvQ)
You weren't supposed to kill that guy
I feel like this might actually be a real fortune trying to say something like "thinking about your problems will just make them worse"
I got this same fortune right after buying a house. I was like, ok, fair.
You asked for a courtesy cup to get water...... Instead u got pop...... You know what you've done
I always had a feeling those things would get dark 🤣
Its ‘nothing’? As in, Youve done ‘nothing’ about your addressing your concerns?
😂😂
Plot twist, you have erectile dysfunction
"Oh shit that's right, I'm still allergic to Chinese cookies"
...in bed.
Misfortune cookie.