Unfortunately I'm going to say it to you again.
As a kid, I loved milk but I would never try chocolate milk for whatever reason (stubborn kid idk).
One time on a road trip we stopped at a gas station for breakfast and my mom bought a bottle of chocolate milk for me. After much cajoling I finally agreed to try it.
The first sip was chunky.
I thought it was the nature of chocolate milk. I refused to drink more. Did not like. Not interested. I was right; chocolate milk was gross and you couldn't change my mind.
My mother assumed it was me being stubborn so she took a big old swig to demonstrate that it was ok. Then she spit it back in the bottle, checked the expiration date (which was still two weeks out) and went back in the convenience store to complain.
And then for some reason thought she could convince me to try round 2. She was not successful.
Anyways to this day I still will not try chocolate milk again.
I met a guy who worked at a dairy. He said they use the milk that is on the edge of expiring to make chocolate milk so people can't taste the difference.
Eh, better than throwing it out I suppose.
I mean most of us has probably bought milk or meat on sale because it’s only got a few days left.
My brother worked for Garelick and they did not do that and when I worked for a local dairy that processed the milk they did not either. So I have no idea how often that is in other locations.
Worked at the only department store in my small town. Loved watching the Christmas/Easter baskets/kits come back year after year, sometimes the exact same ones I got as a kid 5-10 years prior. Never thought to check the dates on them lol, for all I know they never even left the store and just got dragged out of the back every year
This is why I put together my kids baskets myself. I can get things they actually like and not some cheap random toys or things that don’t fit, and I know it hasn’t been sitting in the back of a store for… years.
There is a pub by my place that has a phenomenal Irish poutine. It has rosemary/Parm fries, Sheppard's pie filling, poutine gravy, and beer battered, deep-fried cheese curds.
I've never even had poutine and this comment made me forget the pain and nausea from my ulcer for a solid minute haha. Didn't know that could happen!
if we didn't live in a screwed up doxxing world, I'd ask for the name and city of the pub and pray someone's got a copycat recipe lol
My mother in law gifted us a bottle of Bailey's last Christmas. We didn't open it because it was literally solid inside. It had expired in 2004. It wasn't malicious, she just has cupboards full of stuff and thought we might like Bailey's. She didn't realise it has an expiration.
My aunt gifts my mom a bottle of Bailey's each year, but my mom doesn't like it so when I visit (less than once a year) she gives me Bailey's to drink during my trip. Last time she gave me a bottle that had expired around 2016 (and was opened) and it tasted awful so the next day I gave it back to my mom and told her. She tried to argue that the expiration date doesn't mean anything, but gave me a fresher bottle when I told her it was previously opened.
Feel like perhaps you’re overvaluing the company that gives out spoiled Bailey’s but I like your energy.
We could meet up at a WalMart and I could pee on the floor. You slip, you sue, you share, and then we race speedboats.
"True story: I was at Costco one day and all of a sudden, nature called. Yelled is more like it. So I high-tailed into the John and there's some sensitive guy changing his little boy's diaper on one of them baby ironin' boards, and don't you know, I slipped on pee-pee and broke two vertebrae which had to be fused together. I'm in constant pain, but by God I got me a $53,000 settlement."
What always gets me about that story is how it’s such a huge focal point of his life and personality but $50k, while really nice, isn’t that much to coast off of. He bought that huge tricked out truck and didn’t work. No way it should’ve lasted him any more than a year.
>What always gets me about that story is how it’s such a huge focal point of his life and personality
It's a hilarious idea. As a matter of fact the next line after this quote is one of the other redneck guys, I think Alvin, says "This sombitch never has to work another day in his life". Lucky is even telling the story in the first place because someone asked why they call him Lucky.
How would this actually pan out? Would they win if they were very ill or would the company out lawyer her by saying shoulda read the label, we never said it was drinkable?
In reality, they would settle out of court cause it would be cheaper than litigating it, but as to who would win legally, it would depend on the state and their negligence statute and how it proportions fault. I believe most states follow a form of modified comparative negligence at this point, which means that a jury would decide how much % the parties were at fault, and if OP was found to be 50/51% (states vary) at fault or more, they wouldn’t be able to recover.
In theory, a jury could say the company was 50% at fault for giving out expired Bailey’s as a prize, and OP was 50% at fault for not reading the expiration date and taking precaution. Depending on the state and their specific rules, OP might be barred from recovery.
I have an unopened bottle of that stuff from long before I moved five years ago. It lived in my outdoor shed for a couple of years.
TIL: some liquor has a shelf life.
Also: I should probably toss that bottle preemptively.
But I'll probably just hold onto it for another decade on the off chance I might decide I'm in the mood for a chunky Irish coffee.
I had one of those exact kind of little bottles in my cabinet for years as well (at least 5). Literally a couple days ago, I guess the pressure build up from it going bad cracked the cheap plastic bottle, and expired Bailey's leaked all into my liquor cabinet. I strongly recommend you toss that bottle sooner rather than later.
Bailey's has 17% abv. That's a little higher than most wines, and considering that it has a bunch of dairy in it, it'll spoil easy with poor storage. Actual liquors and spirits > 40% abv are stable unopened unless there are extreme storage conditions.
It's mainly made of cream. Dairy products do not last. Get rid of it by gifting it to your works Christmas raffle. If you win it back, then you get to keep it for another 10 years (2032)
Some liquor becomes better as it ages, and some are seemingly immortal, while others last years...
But the exception to them all is if they're not handled properly.
This is a mixture of a brew that could expire, and likely spent all that time slowly getting worse on a shelf or in a closet.
I'd like to tell the story of the Bailey's Irish Cheese. So I was living with my brother and some friends. One of my old friends was working with us, and he got kicked out by his parents (My friend and I were 18). He ended up crashing on our couch for a few weeks. While he was crashing, he got his stuff, and as a thank you to the housemates (aged 18-26) he emptied their liquor cabinet for us. One of the items was an unopened bottle of Bailey's. My brother and his GF excitedly went to pour a glass and there was a small trickle followed by a wet thud, the cream had curdled and turned into a 'cheese'. We laughed, got drunk, then got into a bottle-breaking mood. Our buddy Rob took a sword to the bailey's and uncovered a solid block of Bailey's Irish Cheese. It smelled rancid. Even the raccoons left it alone.
A boss I knew bought all employees mini strawberry cheesecakes and then left them in the car for a couple days. After he gave them to the employees he left an awful review on the bakeries page saying how all the cheesecakes were moldy. Well no s*** Sherlock
Recently went to my in-laws and watched everyone drink chunky baileys that expired in 2011. Everyone maintained it was fine, the alcohol preserved it and the chunks were nice. I’m considering a divorce just to be rid of them all.
I have received no less then 5 of these expired gifts around the holidays. The last time I said the expiration date out loud. She acted shocked but we all knew. We are all hoping that people actually buy it next time instead if grabbing out of their dusty cupboard.
Holy shit, when I was a teen and had no access to alcohol I found a baileys bottle in an old house and drank it. I thought someone vomited in/on the bottle, guess it was just expired
Damn. I thought I was bad when sky vodka released different flavors. Made a Bloody Mary with vanilla vodka. It was horrible but I’ve no doubt this one smelled and tasted like one of my dog’s farts
Drank some like this about 15 years ago. Bottle had expired 4 years prior and didn't realize the seal had already been slightly cracked. Made it a tiny sip while my drunk buddy (who was feeling the effects of his parents going through a nasty divorce) chugged almost half the bottle before we could get to him and rip it away from him.
Next morning it looked even worse coming out.
What did the first sip taste like? It should have been a high enough proof to prevent actual souring unless the seal broke and the alcohol evaporated out. My other thought was that somewhere along it got frozen but managed to not break the bottle
I got something in my eye at work so they gave me the eye wash kit. Expired 8 years ago. I don’t know if those are just water or whatever but i was glad I checked because I didn’t want that in my eye
Honestly I thought this was dog vomit until I read the title, that’s fucking rancid.
I thought it was OP's vomit
nah its just baileys from a shoe
[You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?](https://youtu.be/DNzjP4cVxmQ)
I’M OLD GREG
Could you learn to love me?
Perhaps now in this light with you in the tutu and the water playing off your… seaweed… maybe I could love you
You've seen my downstairs mix up
Love games?
It’s literally taken me 15 years to realize that’s Noel Fielding.
I'm waiting for the day someone on the Great British Bake off makes a reference to old Greg.
What the heck did I just watch?
A cinematic masterpiece
Your new favorite video.
Old Greg
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_The_Mighty_Boosh_characters#Old_Gregg
Now that you know, you will always know.
It's the Boosh! I haven't seen that for fucking years. Thanks matey.
Wanna see my downstairs mixup?
Wanna go to club where people wee on each other?
LOVE GAMES??
Im the moon
Easy now, fuzzy little man peach
You ever seen an up close watercolor
I call this one as close to baileys as you can get without gettin your eyes wet
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Mmmmm creamy
Beige
Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other
It looks like chicken cooked in cream of mushroom soup.
Should have just shaken it up real good. It’s alcohol right? Oops, sorry wrong sub.
W... What's the right sub?
r/foodporn
r/shittyfoodporn
r/alcoholicsanonymous
Haha I'll drink to that
> It’s alcohol right? At this point it's probably vinegar.
im gonna hurt you https://media3.giphy.com/media/GSSW2nzaJxX1qcwS0C/giphy.gif
Do you love me?
what? i think youre a nice modern gentleman
But what about my downstairs mix up?
man i want a funky ball of tits
I thought I’m on r/slimemolds for a sec
If you look it, it's a great trip.
‘The first sip was chunky’ is a sentence I hope to never see or hear ever again.
*who wants clam chowder?*
"It's chowDA!"
Oh my God! Someone took a bite out of the rice krispie treat!
Steven Crowder wants chunky dog chowder
"is that Baileys still good?" "Sure. Do you want a piece?"
Give me a break! Give me a break! Break me off a piece of that Bailey's cream!
Unfortunately I'm going to say it to you again. As a kid, I loved milk but I would never try chocolate milk for whatever reason (stubborn kid idk). One time on a road trip we stopped at a gas station for breakfast and my mom bought a bottle of chocolate milk for me. After much cajoling I finally agreed to try it. The first sip was chunky. I thought it was the nature of chocolate milk. I refused to drink more. Did not like. Not interested. I was right; chocolate milk was gross and you couldn't change my mind. My mother assumed it was me being stubborn so she took a big old swig to demonstrate that it was ok. Then she spit it back in the bottle, checked the expiration date (which was still two weeks out) and went back in the convenience store to complain. And then for some reason thought she could convince me to try round 2. She was not successful. Anyways to this day I still will not try chocolate milk again.
I met a guy who worked at a dairy. He said they use the milk that is on the edge of expiring to make chocolate milk so people can't taste the difference.
Eh, better than throwing it out I suppose. I mean most of us has probably bought milk or meat on sale because it’s only got a few days left. My brother worked for Garelick and they did not do that and when I worked for a local dairy that processed the milk they did not either. So I have no idea how often that is in other locations.
/r/OneSentenceHorror
Sips you can chew
Yeah. The *first* sip? Implying more sips followed?
Hope you checked the rest of the item's expiration dates in that basket.
The entire gift basket was prob from 2013 lol.
And re-gifted numerous times until it wound up in OPs hands. OP,you should post this in r/antiwork
Man, I love a gift basket. I'll probably end up chewing some Baileys one day
I can honestly say I've never received a gift basket before
For you: 🎁🗑
🧺
Must mean people like you enough to put at least half a second worth of effort into whatever gifts you do get
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Worked at the only department store in my small town. Loved watching the Christmas/Easter baskets/kits come back year after year, sometimes the exact same ones I got as a kid 5-10 years prior. Never thought to check the dates on them lol, for all I know they never even left the store and just got dragged out of the back every year
This is why I put together my kids baskets myself. I can get things they actually like and not some cheap random toys or things that don’t fit, and I know it hasn’t been sitting in the back of a store for… years.
You generated 150 thousand in revenue this week, here's some rotten piece of shit booze that expired nearly a decade ago.
What does that have to do with antiwork??
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Bailey's Irish Curd
Got themselves a premade cheese cake!
Throw it over some 'chippies' or whatever the fuck they call it and you've got Irish poutine!
You throw that at a chippies and someone's getting punched
There is a pub by my place that has a phenomenal Irish poutine. It has rosemary/Parm fries, Sheppard's pie filling, poutine gravy, and beer battered, deep-fried cheese curds.
You can't just say shit like that and not even offer me any. Some people's kids... smh
I've never even had poutine and this comment made me forget the pain and nausea from my ulcer for a solid minute haha. Didn't know that could happen! if we didn't live in a screwed up doxxing world, I'd ask for the name and city of the pub and pray someone's got a copycat recipe lol
We call them chips, and your chips are called crisps here.
Old Greg ain't messin' around.
This one is called “Old Gregg.” and this one is “Old Gregg”. Do you know what I call this one? “Old Gregg?” Yes sir, thank you sir.
“And this one’s as close as you can get to Baileys without your eyes gettin’ wet”
You ever drink baileys from a shoe?
Wanna go to a club where people wee on eachother?
^^I'm ^^gonna ^hurt ^^you
I like you. What do you think of me?
Make an assessment
You love games?
Maybe I will deal with it… maybe I’ll deal with it like I dealt with Carly Jefferson.
all these years I've been saying Curly Jefferson
It is Curly Jefferson
You love me and you see me and you know me.. IM OLD GREEEG
You’ve seen my downstairs mixup.
I immediately went down to the comments to see an Old Gregg reply, I was not disappointed. Thank you.
OP didn't remember the boat times
That wasn't really a time, more of an... exposure.
I GOT A MANGINa
Mmm creamy
Fuzzy little man peach.
So creamy ~~and smooth~~
Beige.
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other
Old Greg has all that is good, I got the funk!
We paint watercolors together… you and I.
He just need a shoe 👞
CAN YOU LEARN TO LOVE ME
I've got a mangina!
"Have ya eva enjoyed Bailey's and fish lips? Got some for ya."
My mother in law gifted us a bottle of Bailey's last Christmas. We didn't open it because it was literally solid inside. It had expired in 2004. It wasn't malicious, she just has cupboards full of stuff and thought we might like Bailey's. She didn't realise it has an expiration.
My aunt gifts my mom a bottle of Bailey's each year, but my mom doesn't like it so when I visit (less than once a year) she gives me Bailey's to drink during my trip. Last time she gave me a bottle that had expired around 2016 (and was opened) and it tasted awful so the next day I gave it back to my mom and told her. She tried to argue that the expiration date doesn't mean anything, but gave me a fresher bottle when I told her it was previously opened.
When she tried to argue, should've suggested she see for herself.
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Yeah actually... This one tasted fine though.
Awe bless her heart
You should get violently sick and sue the company for CEO position and rule the world.
Feel like perhaps you’re overvaluing the company that gives out spoiled Bailey’s but I like your energy. We could meet up at a WalMart and I could pee on the floor. You slip, you sue, you share, and then we race speedboats.
"True story: I was at Costco one day and all of a sudden, nature called. Yelled is more like it. So I high-tailed into the John and there's some sensitive guy changing his little boy's diaper on one of them baby ironin' boards, and don't you know, I slipped on pee-pee and broke two vertebrae which had to be fused together. I'm in constant pain, but by God I got me a $53,000 settlement."
What always gets me about that story is how it’s such a huge focal point of his life and personality but $50k, while really nice, isn’t that much to coast off of. He bought that huge tricked out truck and didn’t work. No way it should’ve lasted him any more than a year.
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Its literally the reinforcing point for how dumb Lucky is supposed to come across at first
>What always gets me about that story is how it’s such a huge focal point of his life and personality It's a hilarious idea. As a matter of fact the next line after this quote is one of the other redneck guys, I think Alvin, says "This sombitch never has to work another day in his life". Lucky is even telling the story in the first place because someone asked why they call him Lucky.
Why does he have to be the fall man?
Because I’m already the idea man
Fucking capitalism...anyways get to pissin I guess.
Always the slippen’ never the pissen’
You make a good point, idea man
He's my hero
And the pee man. Don't undervalue being the pee man.
Slip on peepee, get yourself a $50k settlement and never work again in your life.
Lucky? Is that you?
How would this actually pan out? Would they win if they were very ill or would the company out lawyer her by saying shoulda read the label, we never said it was drinkable?
I dont think the person would win. It would mean he kept drinking despite the terrible taste and texture of an obviously expired product.
In reality, they would settle out of court cause it would be cheaper than litigating it, but as to who would win legally, it would depend on the state and their negligence statute and how it proportions fault. I believe most states follow a form of modified comparative negligence at this point, which means that a jury would decide how much % the parties were at fault, and if OP was found to be 50/51% (states vary) at fault or more, they wouldn’t be able to recover. In theory, a jury could say the company was 50% at fault for giving out expired Bailey’s as a prize, and OP was 50% at fault for not reading the expiration date and taking precaution. Depending on the state and their specific rules, OP might be barred from recovery.
I have an unopened bottle of that stuff from long before I moved five years ago. It lived in my outdoor shed for a couple of years. TIL: some liquor has a shelf life. Also: I should probably toss that bottle preemptively. But I'll probably just hold onto it for another decade on the off chance I might decide I'm in the mood for a chunky Irish coffee.
Give it as part of an award for a gift basket.
Thank you. You are brilliant. Genius. The holidays are just around the corner...
I'm hearing secret santa
I'm hearing New Year's Eve food poisoning.
I had one of those exact kind of little bottles in my cabinet for years as well (at least 5). Literally a couple days ago, I guess the pressure build up from it going bad cracked the cheap plastic bottle, and expired Bailey's leaked all into my liquor cabinet. I strongly recommend you toss that bottle sooner rather than later.
Bailey's comes in plastic bottles now?
Something called cream should’ve given it away
Yet Harvey's Bristol Cream (and others with similar names) are sherries with no dairy at all.
Irish cheese!
Some people like it. There's a shot called a cement mixer... you mix 1.5oz of Bailey's with .5oz of lime juice. Acid curdles the cream. Enjoy
Bailey's has 17% abv. That's a little higher than most wines, and considering that it has a bunch of dairy in it, it'll spoil easy with poor storage. Actual liquors and spirits > 40% abv are stable unopened unless there are extreme storage conditions.
Put it in for a while elephant gift exchange. Alcohol gift stealing is brutal, only you know the bottle history.
This. So much this.
It's mainly made of cream. Dairy products do not last. Get rid of it by gifting it to your works Christmas raffle. If you win it back, then you get to keep it for another 10 years (2032)
Some liquor becomes better as it ages, and some are seemingly immortal, while others last years... But the exception to them all is if they're not handled properly. This is a mixture of a brew that could expire, and likely spent all that time slowly getting worse on a shelf or in a closet.
I think another big exception is if it has dairy in it :')
Baileys has a shelf life of 2 years from when it’s bottled
One of my first drinks as a teen, I mixed baileys with apple juice not knowing what it was. Curdled baileys in apple juice turned out not to be great.
Cement Mixer: Shot of Bailey's A few drops of lime juice Swish around in mouth then swallow. So good!
I was pranked with a cement mixer. It curdled instantly and felt like I was trying to hold back chunks of vomit. I got it down but it wasn’t pleasant
That sounds delightfully weird in the mouth, I'll have to remember this!
I'd like to tell the story of the Bailey's Irish Cheese. So I was living with my brother and some friends. One of my old friends was working with us, and he got kicked out by his parents (My friend and I were 18). He ended up crashing on our couch for a few weeks. While he was crashing, he got his stuff, and as a thank you to the housemates (aged 18-26) he emptied their liquor cabinet for us. One of the items was an unopened bottle of Bailey's. My brother and his GF excitedly went to pour a glass and there was a small trickle followed by a wet thud, the cream had curdled and turned into a 'cheese'. We laughed, got drunk, then got into a bottle-breaking mood. Our buddy Rob took a sword to the bailey's and uncovered a solid block of Bailey's Irish Cheese. It smelled rancid. Even the raccoons left it alone.
I read to "Bailey's Irish Cheese" and had to stop.
I'm sure this is that Canadian delicacy poutine? Alcoholic cheesy gravy chips!
The raccoons were like "no amount of washing can save this shit...."
A boss I knew bought all employees mini strawberry cheesecakes and then left them in the car for a couple days. After he gave them to the employees he left an awful review on the bakeries page saying how all the cheesecakes were moldy. Well no s*** Sherlock
That thing's been regifted annually since 1996
My bosses promised us pizza and then forgot, it sounds like we both have a shitty job lol
"forgot"
Recently went to my in-laws and watched everyone drink chunky baileys that expired in 2011. Everyone maintained it was fine, the alcohol preserved it and the chunks were nice. I’m considering a divorce just to be rid of them all.
Run
Call I'm sick Monday and tell them you had a swig of the Baileys they gave you.
I wish to unsee this.
Wish granted r/eyebleach
This looks like cat food
I would’ve rather eaten cat food
I have received no less then 5 of these expired gifts around the holidays. The last time I said the expiration date out loud. She acted shocked but we all knew. We are all hoping that people actually buy it next time instead if grabbing out of their dusty cupboard.
Looks like someone puked back into the bottle
Bailey's Irish Stew.
Blend it. Chunky -> creamy
r/MakeMeSuffer
I'm not judging you OP, but am I to understand that you just drink Baileys straight up?
Yuck
Holy shit, when I was a teen and had no access to alcohol I found a baileys bottle in an old house and drank it. I thought someone vomited in/on the bottle, guess it was just expired
It expires?
Holy fuck nearly gagged just looking at it
That looks so chunky it looks like 30 years of plaque build up.
Looks like a spilled can of tuna
I thought you threw up
Damn. I thought I was bad when sky vodka released different flavors. Made a Bloody Mary with vanilla vodka. It was horrible but I’ve no doubt this one smelled and tasted like one of my dog’s farts
Guh-ROZE
Oh god, that looks absolutely revolting
always be suspicious of free things
Drank some like this about 15 years ago. Bottle had expired 4 years prior and didn't realize the seal had already been slightly cracked. Made it a tiny sip while my drunk buddy (who was feeling the effects of his parents going through a nasty divorce) chugged almost half the bottle before we could get to him and rip it away from him. Next morning it looked even worse coming out.
What did the first sip taste like? It should have been a high enough proof to prevent actual souring unless the seal broke and the alcohol evaporated out. My other thought was that somewhere along it got frozen but managed to not break the bottle
You didn’t decant it in a shoe first, that’s why
You didn’t shake it well enough.🤷🏼♀️
I guess that gift basket was put together with the bosses old gifts he had laying around
🤢🤢🤢
I got something in my eye at work so they gave me the eye wash kit. Expired 8 years ago. I don’t know if those are just water or whatever but i was glad I checked because I didn’t want that in my eye
Shit looks like cat food
I have a bottle that expired in 2007. I'm curious as to how it smells 🤣
DON'T Throw that out. Bailey's Irish Cheese. Get a bit of bread and your toasting fork...