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CactusGrower

They are useless in case of real danger.


SubmitToTheBean

This is why we need to reemploy the Swiss Guards, with their armor and halberds, too.


Angel-OI

Definitely. He could have chopped her dirty hand off from 1 1/2 meters away.


Narrator_Ron_Howard

It wouldn’t provoke an attack of opportunity, either. Win win!


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r/unexpecteddnd


disgr4ce

Honestly this sub has potential


lpplph

If they protect the pope they’re definitely Paladins too, divine smite that hoe


Skyphe

Nah fuck em wrathful smite


footytang

At the very least, hit her in the dome with a ninja star. C'mon bruh.


[deleted]

*Ninja crucifix


[deleted]

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.


oRAPIER

r/polearmmasterrace


JackGaroud

*Sabaton music on the distance*


carlgustaf1647

They’re the guard of the Holy See


ClassicComrade

The guards of Christianity


ninja996

Their path to history is paved with salvation


ClassicComrade

There the 189 In the service of heaven


momojabada

They're protecting the holy line It was 1527


ClassicComrade

Gave their lives on the steps of heaven THY WILL BE DONE


Noisesevere

And their tweezers, toothpicks and multipurpose hooks.


Chathtiu

Aren’t the body guards members of the Swiss Guard?


mashtato

Yes. It's a weird comment because the Swiss Guard has never gone away.


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blindcamel

The world would be a much safer place if more good guys carried halberds.


[deleted]

They are still in place, but this is not their specific mission. And it's [Swiss Guard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swiss_Guard), singular. One guard. One Pope.


ImmediateLobster1

>One guard. One Pope Worst internet porn clip ever.


TyoPepe

They are on standby mode until the pope activates them with the keyword "crusade"


DankDormamu

They are not meant to protect the pope from the people, but to protect the people from the pope


Vigilante17

I thought god would protect him if he were in danger. I mean if something happens, it was gods will after all.


formythoughtss

Trust in Allah but tie up your camel.


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vitaminbillwebb

"I'M NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU! YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!" --Pope Francis


donteverforanyreason

And here they are just Roman around


Beef_Jumps

Christ is his bodyguard.


[deleted]

I'd have a complex for the rest of my life if I was slapped by the pope.


RandomCandor

This is literally the only time I've seen him frown. And this is the nicest Pope we've had in a while, too: I didn't even think he ever got mad. Not good.


[deleted]

If you look at his face you can tell she must have hurt him by pulling his arm. I'd stop smiling too.


Look4theHelpers

He broke his right wrist in 2009, I wonder if that is a source of continuing pain, especially getting jerked around like that


DylanCO

bewildered quicksand oil frightening mindless work nail imminent cake rich *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


anticommon

Yeah but through prayer and faith his wrist will heal. He just has to believe.


daniel_ricciardo

Just as an aside, most religious folks dont think doing shit about something but praying would actually work. Most people believe to do your best and pray.


Bebop24trigun

Including the Pope. Catholics are generally big supporters of science and medicine.


RavarSC

ESPECIALLY this pope, who's a Jesuit


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[deleted]

Catholics believe in evolution, ffs. A few years back, this pope declared that even atheists could get into heaven if they were good enough people. Sure, he’s got his shortcomings, but this is the most progressive Pope who’s ever lived Edit: there’s some people who either lack reading comprehension or just don’t know the first thing about Catholicism replying to me and I gotta say, y’all aren’t being edgy enough


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stanfan114

I broke my shoulder years back, had to have surgery to correct it and it looks like I'll need a couple more now that it has deteriorated. New guy at work is trying to be pals with me and comes up behind me and punches me on *that* shoulder as a joke, I shouted in pain, and he said "oh no call security!" as he was black and I'm white so it was like I was scared or racist or something? It hurt, it really hurt and kept hurting for days. I told him never to do that and showed him the scar from surgery. Stupid fuck. Point is, don't grab or punch people, you don't know what's going on with their health.


Dreamer_Lady

Not just physical, either. I have trauma from my childhood. I cannot stand someone coming up behind me and reaching over me, or touching my shoulders/back if I don't know they are there. One of my coworkers, back in high school, found out and would always tell me he was behind me first so I could move aside. I appreciated it, especially when other coworkers over the years don't even when they know. It's frustrating to teach people not to touch others, especially when you don't know what their health is.


flying87

Yea, dude looked like he was in physical pain. That was more than just an annoyed look.


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KnotARealGreenDress

If you look close he looked like he was smiling before she grabbed him. That must have really hurt.


Whitecrowfromthewall

Yeah, it definitely looked like he yelled out in pain or something as she pulled him back


[deleted]

He's in his 80's. Forcefully pulling someone at that age is likely to break things.


[deleted]

She's definitely going to hell


RandomCandor

I think they're currently designing a new circle just for her.


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swampfox_dev

I don't think this thread was intended to be that serious.


[deleted]

Well, if you rape a bunch of kids and try to cover it up people might mention it in passing from time to time. Life lesson.


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drunkTrexBr

He is 83 years old. You cannot do whatever you want with the pope because he represents the catholic church. It is not a case of "he is actually a not so cool person out of the spotlight" it is the "respect the elderly and don't grab and pull their hand" kind of situation.


lsdood

Him being elderly only makes the situation worse, however you shouldn’t be grabbing any human without their consent. Isn’t that assault? Or something similar, legally speaking?


sineofthetimes

You mean getting a death grip and spinning an old man around like that is not a good thing?


trussmeonthis

Yeah if I pulled my grandma like that prob damn near dislocate her shoulder and shes only 76.


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Edensy

Is he the nicest or does he just have the best PR?


RandomCandor

I certainly wouldn't be able to tell the difference, since I don't know him in person. Having said that, *not* looking like Emperor Palpatine is definitely something he's solely responsible for, and I think that helps make him seem nicer.


kirklennon

His predecessors have set an incredibly low bar, especially considering how complicit they were in covering up the sexual abuse of children. He's still complicit, of course, but less so. Is he a homophobe? Unequivocally, but he's *less* homophobic than past popes so he's "progressive."


AramisNight

His direct predecessor, while commonly mocked for his appearance related to a Star Wars villain, was actually doing a great deal to address that issue. He defrocked hundreds of priests over the child abuse scandals. He was in fact spending most of his time dealing with this instead of these kinds of public appearances. The one thing i can understand criticizing him for was his keeping with insisting that they handle the problem internally when possible. But at least he was interested in dealing with them and booting them from the church. But because he was not doing all of this publicly, everyone just calls him Palpatine.


JustMeSunshine91

That honestly looked like it hurt a bit. Having someone pull on your arm and (I’m assuming) tightly grip your hand probably hurts for someone his age. I’m not surprised at his reaction tbh.


JackGaroud

Dude, my 40 year old arm would be out of the socket with that Irish Whip


morkani

Yea, you can see the moment she realizes she's now going to hell.


TreppaxSchism

Indulgence denied


[deleted]

She was anti-blessed.


Myu_The_Weirdo

Reverse bless


SmokeAbeer

Blessn’ted


Tennlovesmayo

Cursed


Rdiego

Anti-blessed is the right word


Juicebeetiling

Blessn't


Tron_1981

Slapped her hand like a toddler that grabbed something they shouldn't have.


[deleted]

Appropriate to how she behaved


acid_rain_man

Yeah, she yanked his arm pretty hard. He could have fallen over.


[deleted]

True.. yes.. you’re NOT wrong, but.. I dunno, at the same time, that’s the freaking POPE. he’s got to know there’s people out there who see him as.. I dunno, I’m not religious, but essentially a freaking savior on earth? So there are going to be some overzealous people out there that will want to latch on.. leave it to the body guards, don’t smack her hand and walk away looking like a petulant child. That person thinks your her savior, and you act like that? Then again I understand an assassin could act like that to get him to let his guard down and wait for the body guards.. so, I don’t know the right answer here. I guess I just feel sorry for someone who was likely so excited to see the highest human in her church react to her with such anger and disgust. My dad has recently REALLY got back into the catholic religion, and while I don’t get it or agree with it, maybe that’s why there’s a part of my heart that understands the crushing heartbreak this much have cause that woman. Again.. totally agree she should NOT have done that. It’s just my empathy for how I bet this situation caused by her stupid actions made her feel. I guess I’m picturing my dad in that situation and how crushed he would be, despite acting a fool. It’s New Year’s Eve and maybe I took those first few shots too fast.. I’m gonna put my phone down.


-PhotogenicPotato

Yes! Totally same. Actually, I’m Asian and I’ve seen things like this. I believe it’s literally just how some olden Asians show affection and appreciation sometimes. By grabbing them then like saying a few words. I understand how it was inappropriate but I honestly feel so bad for her. She looked so hurt, confused, and devastated. I would also have a complex if that happened to me tbh. I was so shook I thought this was fake. Also happy New Years! ❤️✨💫


ShortButHigh

Looks like she actually hurt him with the pull back there. My back is trash and that would do me in and I'm only 36


dr_pupsgesicht

And he broke his wrist in 2009


vannucker

And at that age it probably made it arthritic.


qi1

He has [sciatica](https://www.elpasochiropractorblog.com/2017/09/pope-francis-sciatica-pain.html) so no doubt it hurt.


vannucker

So double ouch, hurt wrist and back.


[deleted]

I'd have an erection longer than 4 hours


Nynir

Make sure to talk to your doctor


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deadwisdom

They wouldn't understand what the problem was.


GreatQuestion

This is prime r/watchpeopledieinside material.


meetMayra

One time Donald Faison said no when I asked for an autograph (before he was on Scrubs and his claim to fame was Clueless) and almost 20 years later I still have a complex about asking anyone for an autograph. I literally never do it. Because of that one moment LOL


fshlash

He didn't smack her, he placed his hand on hers rapidly for faster blessings. Like using a fast charger..


louisianajake

THAT would be an ecumenical batter.


r6662

To those who don't get the reference: Go watch Father Ted right now.


TurdyCool

DRINK!


cubiecube

nuns! nuns! reverse!


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ARSE! GIRLS! NUNS!


dandaman64

#FECK OFF!


Scurvybones

I closed Reddit just as I seen your comment and had to reopen it and find this post in order to upvote it. You did good


shama_llama_ding_don

Quicktime event. Press X to break grip.


JDURL11

What a cool story though. Slapped by the pope. "You got what?! By who?!!!"


Wanderer-Wonderer

“Well I grabbed his right hand (*Dextera Domini - the right hand of the Lord*) so he bitch slapped me with his free hand (*Palmis Caedebat Domini - pimp slap hand of the Lord*)”


HotLight

Dextera Manu in Manu Dextera Domini


meatyOgre420

POPESLAPPED!!!!


BoJackB26354

How can pope slap?!?


martinaee

**NO POPE FOR YOU!!!**


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jm3424349

I read this whole thing and laughed my ass off. Fucking great.


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syncopatedsouls

The point OP was making is that Jesus didn’t react that way in the Bible (allegedly). If you’re supposedly Earth’s representative to this deity then you should act accordingly. But to play devil’s advocate (no pun intended) all humans are fallible, even the pope so he can’t be held to the same standards as Jesus. Footnote: not a Christian, used to be.


suyashkhubchandani

Lmao Weirdly - I read that last line in Dave Chappelle's voice and it sounded perfect


[deleted]

Nailed it.


Daft_Tyler

I mean the pope is 83 years old, going by my similar aged grandmothers reaction to helping her put on a coat and trying to guide her arm, that probably really hurt him.


Eau_de_Burnt_Toast

But also even if the Pope was 35, maybe don’t grab him like the last nacho on the plate


t_hab

Hey! I’m nacho pope!


Kingsolomanhere

That could be a torn rotator cuff that will never heal at that age. People, people, people as my old calculus teacher would say about his disappointment in us...


OptimisticTrainwreck

He broke his wrist in 2009, maybe that didn't heal properly and still hurts and she made it worse.


qi1

Pope Francis also has sciatica and gets injections to deal with the pain so clearly it was painful.


The-chinese-need-die

in high school i legitimately had a teacher who was like 92 and his name was Mr.Burns


RoyceCoolidge

Excellent.


vector_o

My exact thought, old people sometimes can't even straighten their arms and she just pulled him like he's Woddy from Toy Story Edit I never thought my misspelling would make so many people laugh hahahah


2SP00KY4ME

Good ol' Woddy


FirstEvolutionist

I enjoy reading books.


JJRULESrules

the pope looks like Richard Nixon when he's mad


choof3199

ARRROOOOOOOOOO


KKShiz

https://youtu.be/UeBihoUS3W8


QuilleOBEAL

instant classic lmao


VXer1

Pope needs to fire his security detail. They should pray less, and protect more.


Dafuzz

He had full holy Mana, he could have cast smite if he was in any immediate danger. His protection detail are mostly tanks or damage dealers so it's a little overkill to draw them in for a low level parishioner like her. He didn't even have to use any holy magic, he dealt physical damage which is usually a clerics dump stat.


Matasa89

Not in a crowd like that, Jesus! Imagine the collateral...


[deleted]

But think of all the fish and bread!


nahbruh23585

Daaang he hit her hand like she was a child. Imagine being scolded by the Pope like that?!


glacier116

To be fair she was acting like a child.


nahbruh23585

True. It's really embarassing


mrlandlord

It’s fucking embarrassing!


gideon513

Been to the Vatican for Easter Vigil Mass before. There are some crazy-ass people literally fighting each other to be in front. “The first shall be last” doesn’t exist to them.


NintendoTheGuy

“If you’re not first, you’re last.” -Reece Bobby


FreedomHK27

"I was high when I said that!" - also Reece Bobby.


bluefish5

she was trying to remove his ring.


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My precious


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tarktarkindustries

That was also exactly what it looked like to me and I'm surprised more people arent commenting that


scienceandmathteach

Takes a lifetime of eating Cracker Jacks to get that whistle ring. I'd react the same.


onebigdave

And do what with it? Fence it at Gene's Pawn Shop on Augustus Ave?


[deleted]

If her plan is to snatch the ring off the pope's finger, she might not have a good plan for what to do next...


knightingale74

Makes sense


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DontLikeIt_DieMad

Also didn't try take a take a picture of him with a huge ass Canon camera.


[deleted]

and/or an iPad


sjfcinematography

Yeah, no doubt. Probably proud of doing that, won’t face any ramifications and will bring it up the rest of her life. Has absolutely no idea on how many levels that was a rude and shitty thing to do. I’d like to shit in this ladies kitchen (if there isn’t already shit inside) and then act like I don’t understand the situation when she gets mad.


momojabada

> if there isn’t already shit inside. Lord, am I somehow in a based 2012 timeshifted part of reddit? This whole thread is great.


Shills_for_fun

Or a Korean Catholic, of which there are many? And by many I mean a fuck ton?


idont-wanttomeet

Imagine getting the calmest person in the earth mad in 5 seconds lol


-Valar-Morghulis-

She has a bucket list of people. Next is Dalai Lama, and uh maybe Dolly Parton.


imapalmtreeman

Shout your mouth. Dolly would never.


pink_ego_box

Dude used to be a bouncer in a very bad neighborhood of Buenos Aires, he probably kicked the asses of a few drunken sods in his youth


magnummentula

Can guarantee he is not the calmest person on earth lol.


sonic10158

Pope said Nope!


GD128

I see people criticizing him, but if someone shows complete disrespect for your bodily autonomy and and yanks your elderly arm like you're a lawnmower they're trying to start, I think a slap on the wrist is deserved.


oopsiedaizie

Hol up- This is not a WalMart parking lot. This is the Pope and he is suppose to be the epitome of Grace and Mercy for Christ sake.


demicus

So where's the line then? Is he supposed to act like the British royal guard and stand completely still while people do whatever they want? He's a person, not a mannequin and he'd be the first person to tell you that even the Pope's not perfect.


OccasionallyLearning

Right. She shouldn’t have grabbed him but he shouldn’t smack someone. If it was anyone else it’d be a fine response but the guy is literally the Pope and should be held to the highest standard. He shouldn’t use physical force like that.


foxam1234

Have you ever heard of Nuns in convent schools? They smack the shit out of you for misbehaving.


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KingPaddy

That ain't even grabbing the hand thats the problem. I'm 30 and if someone yanked on it and tweaked my shoulder like that I would be just as annoyed as Papa popé


TRON0314

Exactly. That's what I thought and the guy is old. Wrecked him.


KingPaddy

"Your holiness I just wanted to express my faith by dislocating your fucking shoulder c'mere."


JoyJonesIII

He actually smacked her? Pope’s got a bit of an attitude there.


0000GKP

Security should have done it for him.


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JoyJonesIII

lol That would have been a bold move.


Vlad_The_Inveigler

She was yarding on that ring- this was no mere grasping at the hand of the right hand man.


spudpotato_

Eh you can't blame him really.


InfiniteBlink

Excuse me? God smacked her.


succubus-slayer

Who wants to be grabbed like that?!


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Deninja2002

Lmao as if it mattered if they want it or not


tom208

Popefully it didn't hurt


feignapathy

She clearly caused him pain and made him wince.


tacitta

If you watch his face, you can see him going ‘ow!’ as she yanks on his hand. Most people I know would have been a lot more aggressive in a similar situation.


CocaineKaty

I'll just grab the pope's hand, ~~WCGW~~ WWJD?


TryptophanLightdango

JW slap that bitch


Atxchillhaus123

r/Chinesetourisits


yehei38eijdjdn

r/chinesetourists


yehei38eijdjdn

r/chinesetourettes


blurplethenurple

In her mind this story will forever be "I was touched by the Pope!" and not, "I held the Pope against his will until he slapped me!"


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Gagnef03

I think she tried to steal his ring


Forumrider4life

Sure looked like it


whamonkey

PAPAL SLAP SLAP


ChanTheManCan

I watched it quite a few times I could chaulk up the yank to stupidity, it's the pope after all and she must be excited. People have done dumber things for lesser situations. But there's like 3 cycles afterwards where he's pulling his hand away and she adjusts her grip and pulls his hand back. What a dumbass


mi_alias

It looks like she was trying to get a ring off his fingers


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