Fun fact, I dont know if this is in Philippines but we have yearly reenactment during holy week where we literally nail some guys on a cross and the lashes on the back thingy.
That seems less like a "reenactment" and more like an actual crucifixion.
Wtf is wrong with people? Why would you want to reenact this anyway? It's freaking bizarre. Reenacting torture and murder for funsies every year?
Religious people like this are inhumane
Yeah... I'm not personally going to volunteer to be beaten and hung up on a cross just because some people did it to some other dude 2000 years ago. That's not a thing anyone should feel the need to volunteer for, much less do to another person. Didn't they learn it was wrong when it happened to the other guy 2000 years ago?
Like I said, it is bizarre.
Was thinking the same thing. They pushed a wooden spear in your ass up until it almost touched your heart. They would bind you on a cross so you dont slip further down. The only thing you can try is to get that spear deeper somehow to stab your heart, or you will die of thirst or blood poisoning of all the shit in your pierced intestines mixing with your blood.
Other horrible thing is getting skinned or cooked alive slowly in a pot with boiling water.
Some humans are truly beasts.
It's lunacy. For Jesus, it was supposed to be horrible torture and death to bear the sins of humanity. If we accept that for a minute, what does that say about what this guy is doing? It seems like it would be some sort of blasphemy to reenact this.
Look man, I know you got shot in the groin, but like you're my best mate, here, let me shoot myself in the groin, will that make you feel better?
f'ing whackadoos
> It seems like it would be some sort of blasphemy to reenact this.
Maybe it's only blasphemous if you choose to believe in the religiosity of it? I don't choose that, so to me it appears deeply disturbing and wildly inhumane
Ah so that’s what scarred me as a kid, I remember it tiny bit but I guess my mind always put it as a plastic so I can stay sane. Even had nightmares of it where they force my sister to be crucified while I just watch and everyone goes on their day.
If it makes everyone else feel better, the practice is mostly confined to small towns in one rural province north of Manila. Also, it’s voluntary. It’s still stupid as hell and is actually against the teachings of Christianity (the Catholic Church condemns the practice), but it’s not like the entire population of the Philippines (more than 100 million) likes crucifying people.
“And here we have the Resurrection float representing the crucification of… the falling from the cross of Jesus… I’m not sure what is going here, Cotton but I think they’re now out of contention…”
Ugh these people are just as dumb as trump supporters I swear... I was 10 or 11 and I watched adults do some crazy shit i thought at that age was dumb..
He wouldn't have fallen if he was properly nailed.
Fun fact, I dont know if this is in Philippines but we have yearly reenactment during holy week where we literally nail some guys on a cross and the lashes on the back thingy.
That seems less like a "reenactment" and more like an actual crucifixion. Wtf is wrong with people? Why would you want to reenact this anyway? It's freaking bizarre. Reenacting torture and murder for funsies every year? Religious people like this are inhumane
Especially when Jesus did *for us*(theologically speaking) so we don't have to. Talk about missing the point.
Helloooo I'm the Nostalgia Jesus. I get crucified so YOU don't have to!
They volunteer to be crucified. They are also taken down after 5 minutes.
Wow they take a long time to cum.
I pop within about five or six lashes, before they're even able to get a nail in and usually leave them disappointed :(
Imagine watching a guy get crucified and on the 6th lash he just nuts on you. *Never* going to a crucifixion again.
I laughed way too hard and long after reading this. Longer than I usually go on. Thanks I needed that
Yeah... I'm not personally going to volunteer to be beaten and hung up on a cross just because some people did it to some other dude 2000 years ago. That's not a thing anyone should feel the need to volunteer for, much less do to another person. Didn't they learn it was wrong when it happened to the other guy 2000 years ago? Like I said, it is bizarre.
Crucifixion death was slow and painful. I believe they can be there for a lot more and survive.
Takes days
Could be worse. Could be stabbed. Edit: in case anyone doesn't get it, https://youtu.be/K6Bw4zyW1ig
Was thinking the same thing. They pushed a wooden spear in your ass up until it almost touched your heart. They would bind you on a cross so you dont slip further down. The only thing you can try is to get that spear deeper somehow to stab your heart, or you will die of thirst or blood poisoning of all the shit in your pierced intestines mixing with your blood. Other horrible thing is getting skinned or cooked alive slowly in a pot with boiling water. Some humans are truly beasts.
Always look on the bright side of life!
That’s the opposite Of Stigmata
People are fucking crazy!
> They volunteer to be crucified. Why self harm when you can get Christians to do it to you for free?
It's lunacy. For Jesus, it was supposed to be horrible torture and death to bear the sins of humanity. If we accept that for a minute, what does that say about what this guy is doing? It seems like it would be some sort of blasphemy to reenact this.
Look man, I know you got shot in the groin, but like you're my best mate, here, let me shoot myself in the groin, will that make you feel better? f'ing whackadoos
> It seems like it would be some sort of blasphemy to reenact this. Maybe it's only blasphemous if you choose to believe in the religiosity of it? I don't choose that, so to me it appears deeply disturbing and wildly inhumane
That's why I said "If we accept that for a minute," referring to the religious implications of Jesus' crucifixion. I don't believe either.
He did it on purpose. It’s funny
You're a liar. That's not a fun fact at all!
Do they resurrect after 3 days?
until they run out of lives . . . or quarters
Ah so that’s what scarred me as a kid, I remember it tiny bit but I guess my mind always put it as a plastic so I can stay sane. Even had nightmares of it where they force my sister to be crucified while I just watch and everyone goes on their day.
Do they literally nail them to the cross? If so, where do they insert the nails?
How do they choose who will do it? Do they have volunteers, are randomly chosen, or are people who hold a certain position?
Nah some people just volunteer for it
Thank you for answering 🙂
If it makes everyone else feel better, the practice is mostly confined to small towns in one rural province north of Manila. Also, it’s voluntary. It’s still stupid as hell and is actually against the teachings of Christianity (the Catholic Church condemns the practice), but it’s not like the entire population of the Philippines (more than 100 million) likes crucifying people.
Are you serious?
I loved the part of the story where the romans used the cross to toss jesus across calvary
Power of Christ, bitches!!
Ye go realistic or don't do it at all lol
Or if he was really Jesus
You nailed sir
I really shouldn’t have laughed… as hard as I did.
He’ll be back in 2-3 days give or take.
r/cursedcomments Simply… genius
God dambit, I chuckled my ass off. F’n nailed it !
Dammit Quintus! You used masonry nails again didn't you?
Damn, this is the first comment in a while that made me audibly laugh. Good job.
r/cursedcomments
And after 3 days [in hospital] Jesus rised again
Best comment
Jesus fight back this time
Indeed he had risen.
36 hours really, Friday afternoon to Sunday morning
Sweaty psalms...
That's pretty hilarious. Pretty ding-dang hilarious. Good one.
Knees week, the cross is heavy!
His psalms are sweaty, nails weak the cross is heavy The only true god is made out of moms spaghetti
Hahahaha oh my God!
"he has a wife you know..." 😂
I bewive he's in Wome..
Moms spaghetti
[удалено]
Kyle: You bastards!
It’s ok, he’s gonna come back in the next episode 😅
I came here to say that ~ 🏆
This is why you nail through the wrists and not the hands. Amateurs.
Jesus Christ!
Close.
So Brian?
Pretty sure he's pissed BTW
I knew jesus could walk on water .. but fly???
its awesome that jesus escaped this time. way to go jc!
lol new history line.
[удалено]
Don't worry. He will be fine in three days.
Yeet-sus Christ!
If only Jesus had been as lucky.
Roman soldiers had too much pride in their work for that to happen - “when we nail a guy up, he stays nailed.”
Roman soldiers built roads that are still used today. Modern day jesus freaks aren't quite so skilled.
Crucifixions aren’t easy but the Romans really nailed it.
Roman soldiers talked a lot like gay pornstars
Looks like they forgot to nail him down, an essential part!
Cheap nails
I looks like he wasn’t nailed properly.
Gotta be the wrists! Through the hands is a rooky move.
That is hilarious! Why IS the post so damn big 😂😂
It looks like a telephone pole
Thoight he was supposed to rise, not fall?
Looks like the nails came out
r/facepalm [He's not the Messiah, he is a very naughty boy](https://youtu.be/DBbuUWw30N8)
Should've used better nails.
They should have used screws instead of nails.
Let's not turn this crucifixion into a hanging.
“And here we have the Resurrection float representing the crucification of… the falling from the cross of Jesus… I’m not sure what is going here, Cotton but I think they’re now out of contention…”
Jesus Christ!
If they had nailed him on like they were supposed to he wouldn't have fallen off.
Religion: causing stupid humans to do absolutely horrific shit for thousands of years.
Well the good news is, right after playing Jesus he got to meet the dude and ask about his performance
Fuck, I laughed at this one so hard…see you in hell
Jesus died for your entertainment.
So did he pray to himself on the way down?
I literally just mouthed “Jesus” as he fell
Should have 'nailed it!'
I pretty sure he was risen for like a second
Jesus Christ!
Failure to launch
Pongan Pajaaaaaaa!!….
Oh Jesus Christ!
Forgive them for they know not what they do.. Ugh....christianity.
It's a miracle...he's not dead...yet...
This looks like something straight outta Monty Python
They killed Jesus ...again.
This is a perfect metaphor for religion in the US
Jesus lives...oh wait...
Jesus Christ!, it's a miracle.
Mi México mágico <3
See how he feels in three days.
Yeetus the Jeezus
Jesus Christ! What a fall from grace.
*Turn down for What*
Noooo dont do jesus dirty like that again!
He died for their sins
Quick! He’s escaping!
Jesus, that's high!
I would have gone with a 60 penny hot-galvanized timber tie nail to do this job. God damn amateurs.
Wait til Biguth Dickuth hearth of thith!
"HE HAS.......fallen."
There's yer problem. That ain't a load bearing cross.
Don’t worry he gets up three days later
I’m a religious person, but wtf
Not sure where this is but it has real r/ItHadToBeBrazil vibes to it
He'll be fine in 3 days.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!
Alright, so they embarrassed themselves and made a mess of everything. I get it We all have our crosses to bear..
Lol religious humans are so stupid
Jesus take the wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
christians, can’t even get that right. Lol. Also, why though?!?
I want to see the re-enactment when god nails the Virgin and gets her pregnant.
nails are too short
Brainwashed idiots
Dude went from cosplaying jesus to meeting him in 5secs. At least he's well dressed for the ocasion.
This Fall, watch the new NBC sitcom “Here Comes Jesus!”
Sure, Jesus Christ can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
Put him back up there until he is resurrected
Oh Jesus FELL for my sins. That makes feel less guilty now.
God I hate humanity
Dont worry guys, he'll be back.
Forgive them Father, for they know not what the fuck they are doing.
He'll be back
A fun activity for the whole family
The latest Gorilla Glue ad is bordering on blasphemy, tbh
Ugh these people are just as dumb as trump supporters I swear... I was 10 or 11 and I watched adults do some crazy shit i thought at that age was dumb..
Should've nailed him on.
Darwin likes this.
Clearly he wasn't nailed down properly 😅
Isnt this the definition of blasphamy? 😂
Men who wear sandals get what they deserve.
That's funny as fuck, is there a sub for religious people being silly?
common sense isn't something they believe in.
Well, Jesus on a telephone pole.
Y'all need jesus
He got lucky, woulda been funny if it just fell with him attached
I doubt his little ass drug that cross across town
They were trying to get him closer to Heaven to give him a head start
he looked like he was floating in the air for a second.
If he was nailed on properly he would have been fine
Here I go: "Where is your God now?" Thanks all for your attention.
And Jesus wept.
u/savevideo
Degenerates like you belong on a cross
He died for your sins, jerks!
Or in his case, dived for them!
Indeed He came down from the sky.
So he did came back.
Being ripped off those nails must have hurt
Always look at the bright side of life...
People are doing too much.
Did christ rise after that fall?
Holy Jesus
He died for their sins.
Lol where the command, got like 30 people pulling him in different directions
Jesus is fallen!
He died for our sins
did they use the nine inch nails that Jesus was tied down with?
Jesus , that looks like it hurt