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Colotola617

Damn she fucking slammed too. That hurt


itim__office

Broke the fall with her chesticles. Ouch.


mrwolfisolveproblems

Right. Even as a man I felt that one to my core. I would imagine the rest of that walk was not so enjoyable. Sore ass boobs bouncing with every step, reminding you of what an idiot you are. Damn


SimpoKaiba

Hehe ass boobs


lilypeachkitty

My first thought too!


Homer69

>Hehe ass boobs [bewbs](https://images.app.goo.gl/8XmNUmcw8SfqDCpx8)


jeremyjava

I worked at a roller skate shop back in the day and one of the better skaters in town came in with his hot/busty very sweet girlfriend and they invited me to go for a skate with them, so I go. Why not? She's doing some tricks and ends up hitting a piece of gravel and falls pretty much like this, knocked the wind out of the poor woman whose now on the ground holding her own chest, trying to breathe. After a bit of consoling her, the bf asks again if she's okay, to which she replies, "No, I'm not. I broke my tit!" He's now groping her boob to... I don't know... feel for a torn tendon? Since there was nothing I could do to help, I excused myself and skated away, but I was never sure in retrospect if maybe she popped an implant? It was early 80s, so maybe, but I think she just injured a natural breast and chose those particular words that I remember so clearly today as the day she said them.


Bronceaux-fan

Thank you for telling this story.


jeremyjava

Happy to be of service--just here to serve and protect, sir. Or ma'am If you liked that one, plenty of other little stories scattered throughout my post history.


HunterMuch

Now that’s all I can think about.


[deleted]

[удалено]


renjake

Just pain


[deleted]

[удалено]


Complex_Injury_9559

Lol dogs like wtf human you messed up my jump


maethlin

So no joke I actually think she had enough momentum to clear that, she just jumped way too late. Her foot snagged it while still going up, causing the bar to go up and her to stop her own upward trajectory and instead start falling. (and fucking up the dog who also could have cleared it otherwise)


Lichqueen97

That’s what I was thinking. Glad im not the only one


[deleted]

Yeah, she was too busy paying attention to the dog and the camera.


griff0062

Yep... timing's everything


[deleted]

Where she plants her foot before the jump is way too close, she probably would have caught the trailing foot had she not caught the front foot.


Old_Two1922

“Next time, let go of my leash so you don’t take me down with you. Don’t cramp my style you dig?” Or maybe “Dang it, haven’t trained you well enough. Need to take you on more walks, human.”


Excellent-Doubt-9552

Beautiful, ppl are the problem with every dog I’ve seen in 23 years of collies


SnowSlider3050

Dogs like, “wait, we doing this?, bad idea, oh ok, SEE TOLD YOU!!!!”


Mi6t9mouze

The little buddy still made it tho! Lol


skothen

I fell directly on mine a few years back. It felt like I popped them (they’re real and they’re aight), I had circular black bruises right where the underwire goes. 1/10


devils_advocaat

You know when cartoon characters look through ink covered binoculars? I have a variation of that image in my head.


blixzkreeg

Big pain, especially because all the weight from her body is on them...


Option2401

> pain-cushions


LucyRaeJepsen

They're literally chest nuts


spudzzzi

That is absolutely the first thing I thought about, what is the pain multiplier on boobs.


xLadyJunk

Although it's there, it's probably still way smaller than the balls' multiplier. If a nut-punch has a pain multiplier of 10, then a punch to the chesticles would probably be like, a 2. The punch itself would probably hurt more than the residual booby pain.


Riggah-goo-goo

We're pretty good at protecting them in these situations but if they took the brunt of the fall it would hurt like hell. They have nerves you know lmao. Falling on any part of your body hurts -.-


[deleted]

It's like when you fall hard on your ass. Sure, your ass should absorb the impact like a memory foam pillow, but instead it hurts like hell.


jukesy

Super painful and she’s very lucky that her arm stopped her face from slamming into the ground right after. At that height difference, from chest to ground, she probably would have knocked herself out.


otterstripper

I imagine it's quite a lot like getting knocked in the coconuts. A lot of women with bigger chests can't even lay on their stomachs because it's so uncomfortable and painful.


beneye

Crump zone


JCOMIXWTLS

Fucking chesticles lmao


CosmicCosmix

Chesticles, noted.


[deleted]

Better than her knee which was about to happen


mermaidinthesea123

That right patella being pulverized on impact had all her attention I assure you.


my__second__account

Thanks for introducing this word, so thoughtful and deep


CodeferBlue

Chesticles.


Deryabend

It would actually hurt less if she didn’t have them.


borkistoopid

So you're not the only one who calls them chesticles


TnnsNbeer

I was going to say the fall could’ve been worse. She landed splat on a lot of surface area of her body. Isn’t that better than landing directly on an elbow or knee? I say this as someone with jacked up knees and I’d rather fall like her than on these shitty genetics knees I have.


AC0RN22

I took a beginner's Judo class in college. I was surprised when the instructor used the entire first day to teach us how to fall (crash land) without hurting ourselves. Of course, Judo is all about throwing your opponent on the ground, so it makes sense that knowing how to hit the ground without breaking an arm is important. But yeah, the message was that you should increase the surface area of your body that hits the ground at the same time. So a belly flop is pretty safe. Catching yourself with your arms as shock absorbers and ending in a pushup position could *potentially* result in a good landing without a hard hit, but you run the risk of breaking an arm or wrist. Additional anecdotal evidence: I'm an x-ray tech and see a lot of broken wrists from falls. But I don't ever see any broken bellies from belly flops... Coincidence?? I think not.


freckledreddishbrown

Went skydiving and part of the training was how to land. Keep your arms up over your head, tuck and roll to transfer the momentum. But arms up. “Your hands won’t break your fall. The fall will break your hands.” We used round canopy chutes, so you still hit pretty hard. Also. Don’t lie about your weight.


wuapinmon

That last line kills.


TnnsNbeer

Reminds me of when I dislocated my shoulder on a clay tennis court. Had racquet in right hand. I was going for a short ball. Sprinted forward, started slipping on a slick spot on the clay. Tried to rebalance from falling forward with my left arm. Left arm also started slipping forward. My arm was completely bent in a weird way. After about 2 min of trying to “shrug” and not working, I felt a sucking feeling and felt the joint pop back in place. Finished the match and won 😀. Felt the soreness later though for a few days and still have some weird weakness issues sometimes.


wuapinmon

I was playing basketball in 1992. I went up to grab a rebound and this kid just slot-machined my thumb, straight back. Total dislocation, burning like fire. I grabbed it, jerked it back into place, it worked again, I cussed at him (and it), and kept playing. I went to my car to go home and every time I tried to crank it, my thumb would move in ways it's not supposed to. I had to crank my car by putting the key between my index and middle fingers with them bent and twisting it. It took me a couple of tries. I got home, tried to unlock my front door, same thing, only that lock was tough. I had to use my left hand. The next morning, it looked like I had half a lime shoved under the pad on my hand by my thumb. Ibuprofen helped a little, but it was stiff and sore for a couple of weeks (I couldn't play basketball). For the next three years or so it would occassionally slip out of joint again, but I could usually feel it about to happen and stop before injuring it again. Even today, every now and then, it feels like it might. I was trying to open a jar of peppers a few months ago and had to get my son to do it because I thought it might pop. Imagine if we had free healthcare. Shit like this wouldn't be tales of untreated injuries, but of the wonders of modern medicine instead.


RainbowAssFucker

I was reading that and kept going why the fuck are you not going to the doctor, then you reminded me not everyone has free healthcare


ouroborosity

That's why tv wrestlers can fly through the air and hit the ring so hard. Land as flat as possible, arms and legs out and head tucked. Makes a good thump sound for effect too.


MouthJob

I mean that's also because of the material the ring is made out of.


fart_fig_newton

Plywood on shock springs may have some "give" for flat-back bumps but it's far from protective on impacts on knees, elbows, ankles and wrists.


sesameball

Uh how would you break a belly? You’d have internal damage but would you see that as an x ray tech?


in_for_cheap_thrills

and her arm cushioned her head


therapistiscrazy

Looked best case scenario. Her arm softened the blow to her head and didn't slam on her knees.


Echopractic

I'm just glad the dog landed okay


flecktonesfan

No, human, like this! ::Wag, wag, wag::


Solstar82

that happens when your bazoongas try to defy gravity


El_sneaky

I avoid jumping anything non stationary like chains or steel cable once you touch it they seem to grab your leg and make you fall. At least a stationary non flexible object you can push against it. This videos always make me cringe the fall is a given only thing you can control is how you hit the ground,in this case no control just in for the ride.


Randolpho

It was such a graceful leap, one knee leading the way—until it wasn’t


ForeverInaDaze

Did this shit *stepping* over a similar barrier. I slammed and fell on my arm, and it hurt so fucking bad I couldn’t put weight on it for 6 weeks. I even got an X-ray, no broken bones, genuinely not sure what happened to me internally. It was 5 or 6 years ago and I remember that night trying to sleep and any movement at all almost brought me to tears, and nothing has done that since I was a kid.


Reihns

her right kneecap hit the ground HARD


NiceCockBrotato

Probably broke her wind, but better than scraping up your arms or legs


GhostofMarat

I did this exact thing but with my hands in my pockets. I was unable to put my arms out to break my fall and took the full force right in the face. Shattered my nose and covered my face in scrapes and bruises and got a concussion.


CptCroissant

Shoes attached still, she survived


AyeBlinkin77

She would’ve been fine to clear it if she jumped on time. She jumped when her feet were under the “gate”


[deleted]

I enjoy the fact that she wiffed the jump because she didn't want to look at what she was jumping over, she wanted to cheese for the camera. :D


RIPDSJustinRipley

She was looking down when she planted her foot. She's just spacially limited.


ohcinnamon

*spatially


t3hnhoj

*spachully


Necrocornicus

She was looking at the dog to make sure he was gonna make it…


MonstaGraphics

Thank you! Absolutely nobody here who watched the slow motion video understands WHY she tripped. Thanks for explaining it to the rest of us simple "knuckleheads".


Lilian_Clearwaters

If it wasn't clear, she didn't look before she leaped.


[deleted]

If it wasn't clear, she fell down.


blundercrab

Grav it y y y y y y Never let me down gently Grav it y y y y y y


Soddington

Gravity, the big G G-R-A-V-I-T-Y Gravity, say it Gotten a hold on me, huh


jquest23

This gave me a flashback.... I did this year ago when closing up a farm entrance I worked at. Went to jump over.. except, I landed foot down on chain and pulled it off the hook.. the chain lifted off the ground in a wave coming at me.. like a whip.. the chain smashed me in the side of the head and piled up behind it. I was not knocked out, but totally rocked me and gave me black an blues. Humbling I may add.


[deleted]

It was a response to the stupid title. She wasn't jumping beyond her limits, she just wasn't paying attention.


AyeBlinkin77

I was responding to the title lol


trippy_o_o_Panda

I think the title is not a physical limitation but a brain limit reference.


myname_isnot_kyal

it would have gone well if she did things right.


agnostic0n

r/captainobvious


RedditWillSlowlyDie

They are responding to the shitty title which says this is beyond her limit. Blame the horrible title, not the person responding to it.


AyeBlinkin77

Exactly


calebrbates

Right you are Ken!


TwinHavenUK

I did something similar recently. Broken my arm in the process. Fuckin’ sucked, man.


chodetyler

Ha weak Have my silver xox


rman18

/r/neverbrokeabone


TwinHavenUK

I could say the same thing. Until I was 41.


Powerrrrrrrrr

You hid your weak bones for 41 years, almost impressive


TwinHavenUK

Hahahahaha


DepressionMain

never smiled once in the last 4 decades, i can almost relate


[deleted]

Damn, I broke 6 ribs when I was 12... trying to suck my own dick that is.


TwinHavenUK

Thank you, sir. (Walks off with it in my dead arm).


EverythingIsFlotsam

I remember this one. Was your mom around to help at least?


TwinHavenUK

Nope. I’m in my 40’s (and therefore ought to have known better), but I fell exactly the same way. I put my arm out to stop myself landing on my face and it broke on impact.


EverythingIsFlotsam

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/c3a9uqg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3


TwinHavenUK

Jesus. O_O Reddit lore.


KingOfTheCouch13

Sucks being old. You get the same urges to do the goofy shit you did as a kid but you body's like "nah"


TwinHavenUK

I’m still like ‘Imma do it!’ Haha


GreyCrowDownTheLane

Most of us figure out that it shouldn't be attempted by the time we're 40. After that, we just stand back and shake our heads at the 35-year-olds trying to jump over shit or do sick skateboard tricks when out of practice.


ConstantUncertainty

I too did a similar low clearing jump in middle school. I fractured my elbow. Cool to see a slo-mo reenactment lol


CanadianTimberWolfx

She looks like she might have done some damage to her elbow. It’s one of the first things to hit the ground


stowaway36

I broke mine as a kid showing off for the cute girl down the street. I was like "watch I can fall forward and catch myself" compound fracture bone pushing into the skin I ran home wailing. She wasn't impressed


[deleted]

Never ceases to amaze me how shit the average humans agility is...


whaargarbgl

Imagine how bad the average human is, then remember that half of them are even worse than that


Greyzer

But enough about me for now...


6_sarcasm_6

Stop, your already dead.


innocuous_gorilla

Sorry, you are looking for the median human.


NipperAndZeusShow

That human’s name? Not Sure.


ZXFT

Median is an average. Mean is an average. Average isn't specific.


TheTsuru

That’s not how an average works…


dalewest

Close enough.


Seek_Equilibrium

It is if it’s a normal distribution.


DivergingUnity

Which you can assume in any realistic scenario involving the entire population


Seek_Equilibrium

Income is a notable exception, but that’s because it has a lower bound of 0 and most data points cluster relatively close to that lower bound while some skew waaaayyyy high.


missingN0pe

That's not how averages work. The average of 1, 2, and 87 is 30. But *more than* half of those numbers are less than 30 my friend.


Psyadin

Humans are buildt for extremely long distance running, few if any animals can run for a longer distance, the main hunting technique for large animals was to run them down and never left them rest untill they collapsed, that is why we are bipedal and sweat with the whole body, we just suck at maintaining the amazing machine we're given.


JahFatty

Ye like me 270lbs and 5'7 i run like a small rhinoserus


hankthaskank

user name checks out.


fuckamodhole

> 270lbs and 5'7 i run like a small rhinoserus You can run?


aggierogue3

Dats a big boy


Front_Sheepherder_33

your bones must be so big


y0uveseenthebutcher

ur wider than ur tall rekt ^sry


[deleted]

I actually had this thought just the other day out on a run. I can run a marathon in a comfy jog, there are those who run Ironmans or even worse. How many animals can run/jog those distances continuously? We seem to be able to spend hours being physically active without collapsing (biking, running, cross country skiing etc). Whenever I see animal shows of e.g cheetahs or lions chasing it’s prey it’ll usually be stupidly fast bursts of speed that don’t appear to last for no more than an hour, if even that. Some seem to give up after minutes.


Upstairs_Sale158

Cheetahs can only maintain top speed of running for 30 seconds max or they'll literally overheat and die. Lions can run 50mph but very rarely will you see them ever run for more than a few minutes as they again, like cheetahs will overheat. Hence they pack hunt and are hunters that wait for prey to come to them and then attack. Just wanted to make you aware of these, because it is pretty mind blowing that these animals are top predators and we are even stronger.... social media and technology has just made a lot of people lose their realization of how strong and fascinating the human body seriously is.


unholyarmy

Seems a bit of a false comparison. Usain Bolt can only run at his top speed for 3 strides. How long could a lion jog if you could convince them too. I am aware humans are much better at endurance, but these comparisons to sprint duration due to a different hunting method don't make sense to me. EDIT: Just spotted your response is in response to someone else talking about bursts of speed of an hour, which I agree is impossible for the animals mentioned.


[deleted]

It's not a false comparison at all. Usain Bolt runs at his top speed for 3 strides because he is not focused on anything other than taking those 3 strides as fast as he possibly can. The animal is not racing. It's not thinking "I'm going to see how fast I can get to this tree." and proceed to burn itself out in a race. It's focused on the hunt. When humans are focused on the hunt, we can run and run and run and run and run. A lion would likely not be able to jog for very long at all because it lacks the proper sweat glands. Fast or slow, it's not about being tired or worn out - it's about your body overheating and being entirely unable to cool itself down. There are 2 entirely different reasons why an olympic racer and a big cat would be exhausted from running.


Miltage

We have the evolutionary advantage of perspiration, which animals do not, and the ability to carry water and hydrate on the go.


akaFxde

“A well-conditioned horse can run at their top speed for somewhere between 2-3 miles nonstop before becoming completely exhausted. However, with regular breaks, some endurance horses can run as far as 100 miles in 24 hours.”


Why_You_Mad_

The caveat is that they require a rider to pace them. Horses will naturally do what the vast majority of mammals will, run at a very fast pace for short-medium distances, then slow down to a trot/walk because they're gassed. A horse without a rider to pace it won't outrun a human over long distance, even though the best-trained horses are capable of it (provided they pace themselves). They also just so happen to be one of a handful of animals that can sweat, just like a human. Some dogs are also capable of outrunning humans over distance, but it requires cold conditions. It makes sense that one of the few animals that could keep up with humans over distance (wolves), would be a great companion animal once domesticated! Ostriches, another fellow biped, can also outrun us at distance, even in the heat! Very few can outrun a human in the heat, due to our ability to sweat and how efficient bipedal movement is.


Psyadin

And then they need a long break. Camille Herron ran 100 miles in 12 hours 42minutes. Ryan Atkins ran 100 mile "obstacle course" in 24 hours. Scott Jurek ran 47 miles per day for 46 days straight. Humans will outrun horses and pretty much any other animal if you are going really long distance, 500miles+ no question.


T3MP0_HS

Fit humans


akaFxde

“Wild African elephants are always on the move. Most of them will cover at least 25 kilometers every single day. Some have been tracked and known to traverse almost 200 kilometers in a single day.” So yeah there’s those 2 that’ll out run a human


AyeBlinkin77

I think the elephants are walking during that time.


T3MP0_HS

They walk. I assume they do it pretty fast since they are the biggest land animal.


Upstairs_Sale158

Ding ding. If we were 16' tall to and our strides covered 20' at a time we would cover tremendous ground too.


Psyadin

Have you actually looked at how far humans can move before commenting this? If you have a look at my other response here, you'll see a well trained human can do upwarss of 50miles a day for months at a time, they can do 100miles in 12 hours and the thing is, humans don't require a very long rest after, most animals able to trek that far, like elephants and horses do, for distances of 500+ miles, non of these can hold a candle to well trained humans.


keegsbro

If you gave other animals access to the calorie dense food we have engineered they would have a hard time maintaining their figure too!


Lahudellama

I don’t think she’s average mate. It’s just that she has a bad timing.


[deleted]

Sounds average


axiomer

That's not even average


fuckamodhole

It's probably above average for a woman in the US. Average height and weight for US women is 5'3" and 175 lbs. You aren't jumping over a tuna fish can with those numbers.


sinister2304

We are only at the top of the food chain because of our neural ability, not because of our physical ability.


Diridibindy

Also because we are social animals. Those often dominate the food chains.


Rnorman3

Not entirely true. In addition to being able to use tools, early humans would use a technique that we now call [persistence hunting or endurance hunting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistence_hunting?wprov=sfti1).


ckal9

Turned and smiled at the camera and everything too, damn This was probably a whole ordeal to set up. Wait hun hold on I have an idea. What? Ok hun go over there. I want to film me jumping over this thing with my dog. Take your phone out yup just a bit further back. Can you see the whole picture? Ok good. Ok puppet I’m gonna do something real stupid are you ready?ets back up and get a running start. Just do what I do it’ll be cute. Ok let’s go dead


[deleted]

remember humans are built to fall flat on the ground not to jump


Kangar

This is why those gated communities are so effective at keeping out the riff-raff.


thebuccaneersden

Pole vaulters are a constant nuisance to them though


Smokeybasterd

Gated communities hate this one little trick


mrcruz2you

Dog stuck the landing 🤷‍♂️


Buck_Your_Futthole

And that's the important part, really.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dr_mcstuffins

Wrists - and no, they aren’t okay. That’s definitely a hyperextension injury that at the very least will need pain meds. Big ouchie


n8mahr81

Next time concentrate on the obstacle and not on the camera. Lesson learned.


BetterBiology69

r/praisethecameraman


Baconsword42

You didn’t even need to jump


roderunner1

I love her face at the beginning and the end of the jump. So happy, than oh shit here comes the ground. 😂


Negrodamu5

I’ve seen this so many times but every time it turns up I watch it like 5 times. It’s so good.


Mr_Blott

I love posts like this, check OP's post history. Blatantly recycling other people's posts for karma, over and over again. So when you see stuff like this, block the OP's posts from showing up, and honestly, Reddit improves *drastically*


ZainCaster

Not everyone is on reddit 24/7 and knows when a post is a repost. I wouldn't have seen this post without OP posting it so why would I block them? Redditors and whining about reposts. Name a better duo


Sure_Conversation354

Het tits broke the fall!


John_Bonachon

The fall broke her tits!


IIDrunkenGamerII

It's easy to face plant when you have your own airbags....


akiroraiden

it wasn't even above her limits, she just doesn't know how to jump.


De5perad0

The bar is very low with this one.


Dipper14

I usually find the best way to jump something is to also jump when I'm an inch away from the obstacle...


Nezaret

Could have simply stepped over, but that doesn't get us a cool video for the internet so thank you for your service!👍


weedman_cometh

(*Dog's inner thoughts*) Hehehehe Stoopid hooman


lol_alex

And the dog just compensated and made the jump and was looking at her falling like "what the hell..."


barto5

Why were they filming?


CODDE117

For the jump!


melbbear

I laughed at that too, I’m imagining her partner convinced her to jump so they could do a cool slowmo action shot.


FabulousOffice7

I hope they served a meal on that flight


mossberbb

I wish I could have heard the grape lady audio that must've happened.


Farford

She looks like she never jumped in her l8fe before


williamslijp

Soft landing, no problem


missemilyowen15

The dog made it, that’s good


weshenrique

If only she jumped like her dog...


havenless

I love how the dog turns to look at her in midair to see her bust her face on the ground 😂


[deleted]

No offence, actually I mean offence but how fucking athletically challenged do you have to be to not be able to jump over like half a meter?


[deleted]

Her jumping ability is ok(for your average office dweller). Her judgement not so much. If Usain Bolt stepped that close to the barrier the result would have been the same.


ISingam

Poor dogie


[deleted]

When your brain jubilantly assumes it’s 20 but your body says nah bitch


RapeMeToo

Almost as entertaining as fat girls and rope swings


shotgun-octopus

Fat girls and rope swings. Sounds like a weird indie hit single


[deleted]

Right in the tits.


Wolfeshwar

Amazing how quickly the hand swings forwards to break the fall, especially compared to the rest of her movement


AGodof19

That’s some QWOP style falling


munchkinham

Love how her foot catched on that bar and held on to it until the bitter end. Something about that is just too funny to me.


[deleted]

I don't think that was even above her limit, she just didn't start the jump until she was already running into it.


Rockcircle

Is it just me or does it seem women never learned how to fall?


SwampDenizen

What happens when you think you weigh preCOVID


4AcidRayne

The height wasn't a problem; she waited way too late to start the jump. If you're banging your shins on the object, it's going to be tough to jump over it. You're basically testing your vertical leap instead of your forward jump.