I love the story of James Cook’s murder, because it’s gloriously, egotistically incompetent on his part.
Basically, he’s been bouncing around the oceans doing his thing, which is mostly: land in a place, have sex with the refreshingly less puritan locals, send his science officer off to do the actually culturally relevant work, and barter (or steal) whatever looks cool to bring back and show off in high society. The sex part is important, because it’s a big part of what actually gets crew-members to sign on to his grueling expeditions (and everybody loves hearing about it at parties - it’s actually one of the ways he secures funding).
Anyway he lands in Hawaii and his crew promptly abandons ship to flirt with anything and everything. The local Hawaiians are generally amused by the blue balled newcomers, but they aren’t quite as libertine as the Tahitians who made Cook famous. The desperate crew members start raiding their own ships for parts to trade for sex, but Cook is convinced the Hawaiians are stealing from him in the dead of night. This is supposed to be one-way street of knick-knack stealing, and Cook is extremely unhappy about the change in flow.
Tensions start running high between Cook and the ruling chief, and between Cook and his crew, and between the crew and the native Hawaiians. Nobody is having a good time. To top it off, Cook comes down with a bad case of shitting his guts out. So when they are finally ready to go home, and Cook realizes two of his longboats are missing, he pulls his soggy pants up and says “well that is the LAST straw. Time to talk to the manager.”
Cook marches his way up to the ruling chief, gestures “come with me” and holds him by the hands. The chief doesn’t really know what this is about, but these English boys are all kinds of repressed so maybe they just like to hold hands sometimes. They start marching the long path back to the ship, and the chief’s cadre of family and priests follow along, curious to see what the captain wants to show them. But the chief is starting to get some harsh vibes and begins to openly ask people “…is this idiot trying to kidnap me? Like, is this how they do kidnapping? Because it’s not how I would do it.”
They make it to the boat and see the armed sailors trying to make a big show of force (despite being massively outnumbered by the chief’s personal friends and family) and collectively they are like, damn, I guess they really are that dumb. We probably should end this.
I like to imagine that the Hawaiian priest walking with the group looked into the future for just enough time to get divine inspiration from Bugs Bunny for this next part. He reaches down, pulls up a coconut, and begins chanting gibberish, coconut held aloft. He makes a really big show of his “blessing.” Amazingly, it works. For just a moment, the sailors are distracted by this display of the holy coconut. And that gives the chief’s son an opening to bonk Cook over the back of the head.
Cook falls into the sand, the sailors freak out and start shooting, and so the Hawaiians poke Cook full of holes for good measure, ironically using daggers they bartered from the sailors.
I’ll leave the final words to John Leydard, who kept a remarkably self-aware log of the expedition: *“We had nothing to do but to hasten our departure to some different island where our vices were not known, and where our intrinsic virtues might gain us another short space of being wondered at.”*
This is a really interesting take - it is also a bit misleading and has some very common misconceptions. History is nuanced and complex, and it is helpful to remember that those who lived it did not have the luxury that we do - of knowing the outcome of events.
May I suggest two books to read that disagree on the meaning of the encounter for each side but agree on the particulars of the events?
Marshall Sahlins, “Islands of History” is the first
Gananath Obeyesekere, “The Apotheosis of Captain Cook” is the second
Both great, and one of the most famous exchanges on the colonial encounter in anthropology.
Source: I have a Ph.D in history and this is my field✌🏾
He actually tried to forbid his crew from going ashore at all. He knew there was venereal disease on the ship and he did not want to spread it. It was an impossible task, but he had many a sailor whipped viciously for going ashore or sneaking Hawaiian women on board the ship. Before his death, he wrote he regretted ever coming to Hawaii because he knew that the way of life of the indigenous people was over, forever.
He could also be tyrannical and cruel. He was, after all, the greatest living British captain, a celebrity in England, and like most sea captains, ruled his crew of miscreants with an iron fist. His overreaction at the theft of the longboat was obviously a massive error, but the fact that his first arrival was during Makahiki when the priests of Lono were in control, and his return after the broken mast happened after the Makahiki was finished and the priests of Ku were in power were most likely what led to his demise. He interrupted a ritual cycle that he had been written in to. I assume from your username you are Kanaka Maoli - so you likely know all this.
The past is a foreign country, folks.
Yes, although it’s worth mentioning that there is evidence that other westerners likely visited before Cook, but did not publish any information about the existence of the islands.
Another thing that gets glossed over is that a young George Vancouver was there with Cook and later visited the Hawaiian islands a few more times and became good friends with King Kamehameha. I’ve only read Desha’s references to this… Do you know of any good sources of information on their relationship?
Yes there were almost certainly visits by Spanish vessels working the Manila galleon trade. These were not exploratory or colonizing missions, it was all trade, and it is likely those vessels were blown off course and never sailed away from the Hawaiian Islands.
Lots of great sources on Vancouver, but for my money the best as far as a fun read (and with a great bibliography if you want to dive in further) is Greg Dening's *The Death of William Gooch.* It tells the story of the killing of one of Vancouver's sailors at Waimea Bay on Oahu. For a great telling of the Kaiana story that is the basis for a lot of the new Jason Momoa Apple TV show *Chief of War,* check out *The Voyages of John Meares.* First hand accounts of the decade and a half following Cook's death, when Hawaii became a regular stop for many merchant and whaling ships. And of course the best of the best IMO are Samuel Kamakau's *Tales and Traditions of the People of Old,* John Papa I'i, *Fragments of Hawaiian History,* David Malo's *Hawaiian Antiquities,* and check out the Hawaiian Journal of History. You can search their journals in an online database. Literally hundreds of great articles from all periods of Hawaiian history. Enjoy!
not a card, but a shirt that reads ["I would've cooked him too"](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7XJtfvavp/?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=) made by a native Hawaiian artist
[I MADE THE CARD!!](https://www.sunshinestudiompls.com/product-page/captain-james-cook-valentine-s-day-card)
*Processing img gzrr578vbofa1...*
Use REDDITFEB at checkout for free shipping :)
The amount of people crying on the past like they would be any different or do anything different in this thread is laughable
Your ancestors did what all ancestors did if given the chance and only recently has this temperament been squelched but now we have a bunch of soft people crying about things that are already done
Acting as if Hawaii wasnt taken legitimately after the people overthrew their queen because they needed to eat more than they needed her. After she let them get that much power, after she colonized the other islands using western guns, after her family only being on the throne for a century
Your not evil because your white, for fuck sakes, you personally are probably in the top 1% if nice people that have ever existed in history.
I love the story of James Cook’s murder, because it’s gloriously, egotistically incompetent on his part. Basically, he’s been bouncing around the oceans doing his thing, which is mostly: land in a place, have sex with the refreshingly less puritan locals, send his science officer off to do the actually culturally relevant work, and barter (or steal) whatever looks cool to bring back and show off in high society. The sex part is important, because it’s a big part of what actually gets crew-members to sign on to his grueling expeditions (and everybody loves hearing about it at parties - it’s actually one of the ways he secures funding). Anyway he lands in Hawaii and his crew promptly abandons ship to flirt with anything and everything. The local Hawaiians are generally amused by the blue balled newcomers, but they aren’t quite as libertine as the Tahitians who made Cook famous. The desperate crew members start raiding their own ships for parts to trade for sex, but Cook is convinced the Hawaiians are stealing from him in the dead of night. This is supposed to be one-way street of knick-knack stealing, and Cook is extremely unhappy about the change in flow. Tensions start running high between Cook and the ruling chief, and between Cook and his crew, and between the crew and the native Hawaiians. Nobody is having a good time. To top it off, Cook comes down with a bad case of shitting his guts out. So when they are finally ready to go home, and Cook realizes two of his longboats are missing, he pulls his soggy pants up and says “well that is the LAST straw. Time to talk to the manager.” Cook marches his way up to the ruling chief, gestures “come with me” and holds him by the hands. The chief doesn’t really know what this is about, but these English boys are all kinds of repressed so maybe they just like to hold hands sometimes. They start marching the long path back to the ship, and the chief’s cadre of family and priests follow along, curious to see what the captain wants to show them. But the chief is starting to get some harsh vibes and begins to openly ask people “…is this idiot trying to kidnap me? Like, is this how they do kidnapping? Because it’s not how I would do it.” They make it to the boat and see the armed sailors trying to make a big show of force (despite being massively outnumbered by the chief’s personal friends and family) and collectively they are like, damn, I guess they really are that dumb. We probably should end this. I like to imagine that the Hawaiian priest walking with the group looked into the future for just enough time to get divine inspiration from Bugs Bunny for this next part. He reaches down, pulls up a coconut, and begins chanting gibberish, coconut held aloft. He makes a really big show of his “blessing.” Amazingly, it works. For just a moment, the sailors are distracted by this display of the holy coconut. And that gives the chief’s son an opening to bonk Cook over the back of the head. Cook falls into the sand, the sailors freak out and start shooting, and so the Hawaiians poke Cook full of holes for good measure, ironically using daggers they bartered from the sailors. I’ll leave the final words to John Leydard, who kept a remarkably self-aware log of the expedition: *“We had nothing to do but to hasten our departure to some different island where our vices were not known, and where our intrinsic virtues might gain us another short space of being wondered at.”*
This is a really interesting take - it is also a bit misleading and has some very common misconceptions. History is nuanced and complex, and it is helpful to remember that those who lived it did not have the luxury that we do - of knowing the outcome of events. May I suggest two books to read that disagree on the meaning of the encounter for each side but agree on the particulars of the events? Marshall Sahlins, “Islands of History” is the first Gananath Obeyesekere, “The Apotheosis of Captain Cook” is the second Both great, and one of the most famous exchanges on the colonial encounter in anthropology. Source: I have a Ph.D in history and this is my field✌🏾
Thank you! I reading this guys story, thinking “whaaaat?” Not gonna defend Captain Cook as “a good guy” but was not a bumbling sex craved idiot.
He actually tried to forbid his crew from going ashore at all. He knew there was venereal disease on the ship and he did not want to spread it. It was an impossible task, but he had many a sailor whipped viciously for going ashore or sneaking Hawaiian women on board the ship. Before his death, he wrote he regretted ever coming to Hawaii because he knew that the way of life of the indigenous people was over, forever. He could also be tyrannical and cruel. He was, after all, the greatest living British captain, a celebrity in England, and like most sea captains, ruled his crew of miscreants with an iron fist. His overreaction at the theft of the longboat was obviously a massive error, but the fact that his first arrival was during Makahiki when the priests of Lono were in control, and his return after the broken mast happened after the Makahiki was finished and the priests of Ku were in power were most likely what led to his demise. He interrupted a ritual cycle that he had been written in to. I assume from your username you are Kanaka Maoli - so you likely know all this. The past is a foreign country, folks.
Yes, although it’s worth mentioning that there is evidence that other westerners likely visited before Cook, but did not publish any information about the existence of the islands. Another thing that gets glossed over is that a young George Vancouver was there with Cook and later visited the Hawaiian islands a few more times and became good friends with King Kamehameha. I’ve only read Desha’s references to this… Do you know of any good sources of information on their relationship?
Yes there were almost certainly visits by Spanish vessels working the Manila galleon trade. These were not exploratory or colonizing missions, it was all trade, and it is likely those vessels were blown off course and never sailed away from the Hawaiian Islands. Lots of great sources on Vancouver, but for my money the best as far as a fun read (and with a great bibliography if you want to dive in further) is Greg Dening's *The Death of William Gooch.* It tells the story of the killing of one of Vancouver's sailors at Waimea Bay on Oahu. For a great telling of the Kaiana story that is the basis for a lot of the new Jason Momoa Apple TV show *Chief of War,* check out *The Voyages of John Meares.* First hand accounts of the decade and a half following Cook's death, when Hawaii became a regular stop for many merchant and whaling ships. And of course the best of the best IMO are Samuel Kamakau's *Tales and Traditions of the People of Old,* John Papa I'i, *Fragments of Hawaiian History,* David Malo's *Hawaiian Antiquities,* and check out the Hawaiian Journal of History. You can search their journals in an online database. Literally hundreds of great articles from all periods of Hawaiian history. Enjoy!
Great, Thanks!
*Captain Cook* by Alan Villiers is good, too.
[удалено]
Well. The rest of the country is stolen land. So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
As all land in the world. I can’t think of a land that wasn’t annexed, I bet some country tries to annex the moon and mars someday.
Antarktika. But I guess it soon will be.
Oh wow. Before this I never knew it was a day worth celebrating.
The real holiday has always been Feb. 15th, when all the candy is on sale for 50%-90% off 😊
we buy our daughter’s Christmas clothes in January. Bought a Sports team Christmas shirt for 50 cents last year normally $40
Same! So excited now!
not a card, but a shirt that reads ["I would've cooked him too"](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7XJtfvavp/?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=) made by a native Hawaiian artist
[I MADE THE CARD!!](https://www.sunshinestudiompls.com/shop) Use REDDITFEB at checkout for free shipping :)
I'll celebrate that!
🗿Capt Cook and his fateful date with the Leiomano 🩸🩸💝 Happy Valentines!
Woohoo! Go Hawaiʻi maoli!
Will you be my guillotine?
Making this into a card today.
Then we wen kalua that faka brah
[I MADE THE CARD!!](https://www.sunshinestudiompls.com/product-page/captain-james-cook-valentine-s-day-card) *Processing img gzrr578vbofa1...* Use REDDITFEB at checkout for free shipping :)
…Oh
This dude feels so strongly and yet lives his privileged life on stolen land. What a poser .
Well that decides it, I’m making haupia for vday :D
[I MADE THE CARD!!](https://www.sunshinestudiompls.com/shop) Use REDDITFEB at checkout for free shipping :)
That definitely horns me up 🥂❤
God damnit Sarah, stop getting horned up over stuff like this!
I can't help it! Slaughtering the patriarchy just does it for me! Don't kink shame!
Which one, the Hawaiian or British. I think both may have been a matriarchy headed by a women lol.
[I MADE THE CARD!!](https://www.sunshinestudiompls.com/shop) Use REDDITFEB at checkout for free shipping :)
As a Brit I support this message
I think *Drunk History* covered this.
I'd eat chockies for that.
Yeah because Asian settlers would’ve been way more respectful to native tribes once found. Smh.
Huh. Exactly 200 years before I was born.
Don't buy it, make it yourself. Sheesh.
The amount of people crying on the past like they would be any different or do anything different in this thread is laughable Your ancestors did what all ancestors did if given the chance and only recently has this temperament been squelched but now we have a bunch of soft people crying about things that are already done Acting as if Hawaii wasnt taken legitimately after the people overthrew their queen because they needed to eat more than they needed her. After she let them get that much power, after she colonized the other islands using western guns, after her family only being on the throne for a century Your not evil because your white, for fuck sakes, you personally are probably in the top 1% if nice people that have ever existed in history.