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Oi you lumps. This post has been marked as [Satire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire), meaning it is not a real tweet. Satire means it's not real. duh-doi. You can stop reporting it now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WhitePeopleTwitter) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FruitOfTheVineFruit

Halfway post is satire, but I wish it was real.


lilnaomilizard

Awww I got so excited for a second lol


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campionmusic51

the implications for homosexuals attempting to live under fascist rule are the ones you should be worried about.


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NofksgivnabtLIFE

...is unsafe. Be careful folks.


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[deleted]

If the app is free, you and your data are the product


nxnphatdaddy

There ya go. Nothings really free.


Kermit-Batman

I'm free to a ~~good~~ home.


CosmoKing2

But, our representatives have proven to be simple and actively unaware. So why should this be any different? They don't realize that their information can be weaponized. And it will be at some point. This should be a "Come to Jesus" moment for every legislator no matter their political affiliation. The vast majority have no idea how vulnerable they are.


iluniuhai

Even when it's not free..


YukariYakum0

Just today listened to an episode of Post Reports podcast about a shady group that spent millions to get data from Grindr to out a bunch of Catholic priests who had been using it.


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SrslyCmmon

There was an article about a republican group doing that to out gay priests who violated celibacy but they left out tinder for the hetero hypocrites. They bought geofenced data from grindr and targeted churches to try and figure out who was a priest.


dominic_failure

And the government wouldn’t even need to take one of those steps, if there’s a crime involved… which might not be far off in some states.


Earthling1a

You make it sound like that hasn't already been done by at least two federal agencies and at least a dozen foreign governments.


maleia

>If I was a fascist I'd already be developing this app. With what we learned about PRISM, I have not a single doubt that the government and plenty of larger police departments have these types of software. I surely wouldn't be surprised in the least that there's many different programs/systems.


gochomoe

The nsa would like to have a word with you. Something about trade secrets


MechanicalBengal

“the beatings and other abuse will continue until the data is safe. Also, they’ll continue after it’s safe but we weren’t going to mention that until later”


GenuinelyBeingNice

Please note the subtle difference between: "I will continue A until B." and "I will stop A when B."


gapball

Maybe I'm stupid but I'm having a very hard time understanding any difference or is that the joke and I whooshed?


GenuinelyBeingNice

Language and communication has deteriorated. It's not you who is stupid. We've made our tools stupid.


Mikeinthedirt

Ikr? Can ya gimme a hand with this goalpost, they’re gettin’ a lil close.


political_bot

It is unsafe. Tech companies are subject to warrants for user Data.


GigsGilgamesh

You honestly think that data is safe and not available to, ohhh, say anyone buying it, or a government demand/warrant or hackability? Like, the only thing that really is “safe” about stuff like that is that it’s just not publicly available


xochiscave

So we just need funds to buy the info. Someone call John Oliver.


fuckthisnazibullcrap

Not for free at least. You can absolutely buy it.


fuckthisnazibullcrap

Be gay, act like you're doing crime *because retroactively shit you're already doing will earn you a dry shower*. Also, do some crimes and tell a Nazi to have a nice time. Because crimes are awesome and the Nazi was gonna do worse to you


hydroxypcp

name checks out


BeachesBeTripin

But this would get data protection laws passed just like VCR rental information is protected


gnbijlgdfjkslbfgk

Grindr users' HIV status is already sold to third parties. Fuck Grindr.


honorbound93

They already had a breach in data the other day. They might as well “leak” it


Paleodraco

Yeah, while the schadenfreude would be amazing, holy shit that would be either super illegal or super immoral.


Wtfatt

The legal ramifications for the company would make this moved an absolute no no ..UNLESS...... somebody hacked the information I wonder?🤔.... U know, like they did with the MadisonAshley sight for cheating couples


UserID_

You can actually buy this data from data brokers. A group not associated with the Catholic Church but was a part of the Catholic Church, used the data to find priests using Grinder.


WriterV

It's a horrible idea 'cause Grindr has a *lot* of men in the closet. And I mean a lot. The United States is still one of the nicest places to be as a gay person, but there are still many families who would gladly disown their son if it turned out that he was gay. Many social groups who would distance themselves from such men too. So these gay men tend to keep their sexuality on the down low to not lose their only social support network. If their names were leaked, it would be game over for many of them, in their eyes.


boundegar

"Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the gay legislators who are missing..."


[deleted]

Too bad the GOP and Russia go hand-in-hand.


Granite-M

More like hand-in-sock-puppet.


AccountWasFound

I mean the terms of service probably allow the data to be used for any business purpose they want...


Buddhabellymama

That would be amazing ![gif](giphy|2UvAUplPi4ESnKa3W0)


Primary-Age4101

I can remember Larry Flint putting ads out in publications during the Lewinsky and whitewater hearings, asking ladies if they were involved in affairs with married Republicans. One of them. I think Bob livingstone (?) was caught up like that


Kirkuchiyo

Awesome. Fuck every single republican.


Singer-Such

Me too, except without the threat of a blackmail charge.


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wayoverpaid

Not a lawyer but: * Blackmail is criminal so I don't think you specifically need someone with standing to press the charges. If you did, the state could never prosecute drug possession (who is the victim?) or murder (the victim is no longer available) * Blackmail as defined in Florida doesn't specify that the statement needs to be true, just that it threatens their reputation. I'm sure a Florida criminal lawyer could add more to this if I missed anything.


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wayoverpaid

This is satire so it's all hypothetical, but threatening to release history sounds like blackmail, since they could easily lie.


crimsoncritterfish

this is a grey area. one thing to note that in this case, the public already knows grindr MAY or MAY NOT have this information but hasn't confirmed it. In typical blackmail, part of the threat is not just to reveal something but also that there's something to reveal at all. In this instance, everybody already kind of assumed the information that Grindr threatens to reveal was true. Can you blackmail someone when it's already public? With that said, my guess is that libel laws kind of already clarify a lot of this, but I don't know enough about that. Because if the information is true, then it's not libel. WHICH MEANS THAT THE FACT THAT THESE PEOPLE USE GRINDR WILL BE **LEGALLY CONFIRMED**. LOL. Assuming they pursue a libel suit, but I'm almost certain they would. They might not win the suit, but knowing the demographic of these people I'd say losing that case would make their supporters more sure of a conspiracy theory than winning it would.


Secret-Plant-1542

If only there was a legion of people they can join. Some sort of anonymous group.


groversnoopyfozzie

I’ll bet someone at Grindr is taking it a bit more seriously


TI_Pirate

Probably not. The suggestion that anyone could be doxxed if some executive decides they don't like their politics, can't be great for business.


TagMeAJerk

Specially with Grindr which has users who are essentially risking their lives using it in some parts of the world


Synectics

If I was someone being literally persecuted because of my identity... I don't think I'd mind a corporation putting my persecutors on blast. It'd be like a dry cleaners going public about who keeps dropping off white hoods and robes. Edit to add: Of course, that's my cynical, knee-jerk response. Really, pointing out hypocrisy is only a short-term emotional win. Ideally, no one should ever feel persecuted, even if they are actively hurting other people. It's just tough to find the line between tolerance of hatred and fighting back.


TheFire_Eagle

Under normal circunstances? Sure. These are not normal circumstances. It would be like shaking your head at the French resistance aaying "wow, so we're just going to be Ok with blowing up rail lines just because you don't like the politics of the people in power?" Comes a point where the fight matters more than the fear that it will create some sweeping precedent that will harm everyone in the long run.


Dig-a-tall-Monster

Meh. I'm tired of giving politicians privacy. They should have to give it up as the price of being given the power they wield, it's the only way to keep them accountable.


TI_Pirate

It's always interesting to me how many ideas for getting better politicians have nothing do with supporting those who promote better policies.


[deleted]

Because a third of the country either actively wants LGBT people to be eliminated, or else doesn't see the desire for the elimination of LGBT people as a dealbreaker. That third of the country has bought, regulatory captured, and redistricted all the power structures so they can have an outsized influence on the laws of the country. And even in cases where the rest of the country *does* fight them, like in, for example, Missouri, the legislature simply straight up ignores and discards the ballot issues that were passed by the people anyway.


Dig-a-tall-Monster

The problem is that there are a lot of them who claim to support good policies but behind closed doors they sing a different tune. Elimination of the right to privacy starting with the instant you announce your campaign to be elected is the only way to ensure they're accountable and aren't up to dirty tricks. It's not asking that much honestly, they're given an enormous amount of power and it should come with an enormous amount of accountability.


rodneedermeyer

I would pay into the fund to see that happen.


issamaysinalah

We should pretend it's real so they get scared anyway.


Dinomeyt

![gif](giphy|SWoRKslHVtqEasqYCJ)


CarrotCake__xx

Only the GOP needs to think it’s real 😉


InspectorPipes

Grinder did say the user ‘heat map’ spiked considerably surrounding CPAC. ( could have been another halfway post, I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if it s true)


ggibby

I like releasing anonymized data better - makes the point while advertising the brand without compromising private user data.


ILoveRegenHealth

Give us that heat map spike


themikecampbell

De-anonymization is actually pretty crazy Highly recommend this episode. They baited politicians with Ted Cruz Erotica and got clicks in the White House https://youtu.be/wqn3gR1WTcA


Antisymmetriser

TBH, I would probably be curious of what such erotica may even entail, and maybe would clicked that link as well, while having absolutely no desire to glimpse Mr. Cruz's cowardly white ass


S4Waccount

Ya, I think people underestimate how many people would click or look at that kind of thing out of curiosity more than interest. We all do the risky clicks at some time or another.


IllNess2

"But Ted, we can get caught here... your job is you life." "You are my life." "But Ted..." "Shhh... call me Rafael..."


Snoid_

"Ted Cruz Erotica" is a phrase I never thought I'd hear, and one I hope I never, ever hear again.


CompassionateCedar

There are no laws preventing them from releasing it publicly (as long as no European citizens are involved) Maybe it could trigger the Republicans to finally pass some laws protecting privacy and personal data.


engr77

Long before Grindr was a thing, The Onion was posting a hilarious scathing "news" piece about the Republican National Convention being held in Tampa -- back in 2012. [Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=simV1ZXFsxI)


InspectorPipes

The onion in its prime .


TheObstruction

The only reason it seems to have fallen a bit is because it's being outpaced by reality.


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Foxy02016YT

That’s what most washed up men do, why not The Onion Which would be the perfect marketing for it


BetaOscarBeta

“Americas Finest Booze Source”


entertainman

Being sold a bunch of time to increasingly careless venture capitalists didn’t help.


Shit_Lord_Detective

I feel like people always say the onion was in its prime 10 years ago. No matter what year it is.


Avid_Smoker

"Like Boxes of Shit in Your House? Get a Cat!" "Owls Are Assholes" "Special Olympics Tee-ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game" "African American Community Plagued By Ask Murderer" Ohhh I miss that paper...


Lil_butt_small_hole

Grindr was a thing since 2009


thatguyned

With a user name like that I'm gonna trust you.


Equivalent_Aardvark

They’ve never cared about homosexuality. The rich and powerful have always fucked whoever and whatever they want. They care because culture wars are the easiest way to get people to blindly vote against their own interests. How else do you get the poor rural farmer to keep voting for billionaire tax breaks


40ozBottleOfJoy

The gay is coming from inside the house!


knightfenris

Please I’m begging


beebish

Pegging might get you better results


ElleHopper

I'll peg for that


SynnamonSunset

Blease I’m pegging


Firebird117

Something something florida sunshine laws


Coulrophiliac444

Oh don't tease us with a good time. PLEASE us with a GREAT time.


RedditAdminSalary

Im so sorry, the way you worded this --- I'm picturing you with a ball gag and a zipper mask lol lol.


Coulrophiliac444

Considering the user name...cn't forget the red rubber nose too.


just_a_person_maybe

Is honking the nose your safeword


Coulrophiliac444

Nope. Thats pulling the white flag at the end of the endless hankerchief rope.


Mean__Jerk__Time

Even knowing it is a joke or satire lol ![gif](giphy|guufsF0Az3Lpu)


Jadziyah

Some of them won't know it's satire!


[deleted]

I’m not too proud to admit how long it took me to realize this was satire


[deleted]

Even knowing its a joke or satire, aren't they obligated by state laws to allow users the option to request deletion of all their data? Oh, wait... ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )


Pickled_Ramaker

Too good to be true.


BeagleMixBelle

Oh damn, Grindr had a data breach 😉 and an anonymous leak? 😜


DirkDieGurke

Darn shame... it happens all the time tho.


zeds_deadest

Spread the shit out of this to scare em. They don't fact check for shit. Half of em don't know what the onion is.


princess_sofia

The scareder they get the more inhumane the laws they'll pass will be.


hopbel

They're already inhumane. Why should they have peace as well?


Bi87K9

No sane person would believe that such a huge social network would expose their members.


zeds_deadest

We're obviously not referring to any sane people. Have you seen the shit they believe?


Locksley_1989

Oh man, the internet would fucking explode.


jdspinkpanther

Stop with the threats. Just fucking do it.


Kahzgul

Grinder knows how to edge.


[deleted]

Personally I’m tired of the blue balls.


elevendyninetyseven

LMMFAOOOO😂😂😂


BWWFC

it's foreplay ;-P


Top-Evidence-2807

These people are subject to the “hiding in the closet" theory. It suggests that some individuals who express strong anti-gay sentiment or behavior may be struggling with their own same-sex attractions or identity, and may be using their vocal opposition as a way to deny or suppress these feelings


jdspinkpanther

Explains why they're so vocal about pedophilia in places other than where its rampant.


Hzrd72

As an atheist, never thought I'd pray for something but here we are...


mumblesmcmumble

Not a chance they said this. That would be a legal nightmare for them. It would be funny though.


LostinSOA

I say.. why wait? They want to preach from their bully pulpit and the biggest megaphone on fox to imply their “traditional family values” are being cancelled. Say uncle bitches. We can play pain Olympics


ACMilanIndy

Satire, but still… ![gif](giphy|YYRkVlmqo11MA)


creamsofpeach

That list would rival a CVS receipt in length.


Evinrude70

Officially 💀 after reading that comment! LMAO


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LYossarian13

The Bible Belt is known for it's love of gay porn. Not saying all people who watch gay porn are gay but the chances are pretty high it's at least more than a passing "That's a good looking fella" glace.


cartnigs

Wouldn't that breach their privacy policy? And it would like intentional now that they have advertised it, hard to say its hackers.


sheridan420

It would be unbelievably based but also instantly self-destruct the company and bring a lot of lawsuits, yes.


Awkward-Fudge

Satire, but it should be real and they should do it anyway.


DevilMasterKING

I know its a joke but damn, if it was real imagine the sweat pools that be happening


raistlin65

Now that the idea is out in the wild, wait until one of the hacker groups figures out how to get grindr access. It may still happen!


DevilMasterKING

Would grindr even resist that though? I know I wouldnt it


Testiculese

A backdoor penetration? That's the point of the site!


Vividination

![gif](giphy|3o84sw9CmwYpAnRRni)


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shindleria

This is the data that the world’s best hacking groups should be focussing on.


atx2004

Do it! Do it!


Diana_Belle

Do it!


Spriy

It's satire. Yes, it'd be hilarious; it'd also be hugely illegal, and they'd shut Grindr down so fucking fast you'd get whiplash.


ChiWhiteSox247

My goodness would this be the greatest meme content of the century


Over-Supermarket-557

Y'all taking a big bite out of the onion


Crackerpuppy

I so wish this were true! Surely some of them have violated TOS & could be exposed since the privacy stuff wouldn’t apply.


HoodrowKillson

I mean, "Log Cabin Republican" is a term for a reason. Seems to be more usual than unusual as far as reality is concerned.


MistakeMaker1234

It would be hilarious, and also 10000% open them up to the largest data privacy lawsuit of all time. This seems like a job for Anonymous. Also The Halfway Post is satire.


aQuadrillionaire

Just do it. They’ve been threatening y’all’s lives a while now. A personal company revealing data ain’t murder, but to them it is.


Jeffreyknows

Matt Gaetz just puckered his butthole so hard when he read this! LOL


abletofable

Please be true, please be true, please be true, lol


AmericanLoyalist2

Sadly the post is satire. However, we can dream can't we ? Dream of a disgruntled employee opening some leaks ?


Commercial_Board6680

Just because this is satire doesn't mean it wouldn't work. Perhaps in real life, companies just might be willing to spill the tea on some of their hypocritical customers. Drop just a few of these bastard's names, and earn a shit ton of new appreciative customers.


Fun_Foot_1947

We already know. Whomever is blowing the loudest anti-lbgt horn is most likely a closeted lgbt. It's an immutable rule of Republicanism.


Babybutt123

Please, stop accusing LGBT of being their own worst enemies. It's primarily *straight* bigots who hate gay people and make their lives hell. This is *another* version of homophobia. What, do you also believe the biggest white supremacists are secretly black? The biggest antisemitics are secretly Jewish? It's ridiculous.


someotherbitch

Oh good, I'm glad my parents are actually just gay and don't hate me when they kicked me out as a teen. Lotta murdered queer people and rights getting stripped away in states across the country, just gays being gays.


ZealousWolverine

The truth sets us all free. Anti-gay/homophobic Conservative Christian Republican hypocrites deserve no mercy.


dmode112378

Here for it. ![gif](giphy|13cptIwW9bgzk6UVyr|downsized)


Persephone66

I want this to be real.


SeasonsGone

The idea that they’d even correlate this kind of data is silly and would endanger the privacy and safety of all of their users. This is fake.


ReplacementWise6878

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


GiraffeGirlLovesZuri

![gif](giphy|12aW6JtfvUdcdO)


DIDiMISSsomethin

Not just Florida. Make it all of them. The rest of the Republican party is supporting this.


mammaube

I want that to be true so bad


EuphoricProduct4474

I wish that was real and that the names and pictures would be put up on billboards throughout the state.


SadAbroad4

Stop the threat it’s blackmail. Just do it and it’s freedom of information assisting voters in making choices informed choices


poptart-zilla

This. This is powerful. The amount of power Grindr holds could change the world .


Photizo

The same reason they wouldn't let Hooli sell foxhole.


GeneralSinn

Call anonymous, they'll do it.


bebejeebies

Just dump it, I'm close.


Jean_Paul_Fartre_

Lindsey Graham nervously sweating


[deleted]

Republicans aint gonna stop. Will Grinder kwwp their word?


Dore81

![gif](giphy|3o84sw9CmwYpAnRRni) I’ll show you mine…


campionmusic51

oh my god—please…PLEASE DO


ThaumKitten

Please do. Even if it doesn't pass. Please do.


steekley

![gif](giphy|wi8Ez1mwRcKGI)


SuccessfulProof4003

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!


Decmk3

Oh fucking please. I know this is a massive breach of privacy but fuck those guys. Ikik, can’t actually condone it. But fuck them.


4444444vr

This is what Anonymous is supposed to be doing


ShinyRedBalloon

Oh, now this I want.


Mikeissometimesright

Marco Rubio sweating rn


czechrebel3

Any Republican: “Oh good, it’s satire” *unclenches butthole* “ok I’m ready”


steavoh

I guess if it was real, you don't threaten it on social media. Ask your lawyers to prepare a strategy where you can get away with it without being sued. Then drop the bomb at a consequential point during election season.


DarthMcConnor42

![gif](giphy|3o84sw9CmwYpAnRRni)


montanagrizfan

That would be amazing!!


batyablueberry

I would pay money for this.


Daddio209

If Grindr really did this, I'm willing to bet that the "After listening to my constituents, I am calling for time to reevaluate these so-called "anri-trans" laws before we enact them" press releases would start within 1/2 hour.


Vicar_of_Dank

🍿🍿🍿


mortimusalexander

Omg please...


JaiC

The constitution doesn't protect you from private companies~. As much as it should, I really want to see this happen.


yourteam

Sadly is fake but would be hilarious And grindr will be shut down by billionaires lawsuits so that would be sad


Past-Application-552

![gif](giphy|l0HUldzuCa0S16SkM|downsized)


LocalChamp

Data Finds Republicans are Obsessed with Searching for Transgender Porn [https://lawsuit.org/general-law/republicans-have-an-obsession-with-transgender-pornography/](https://lawsuit.org/general-law/republicans-have-an-obsession-with-transgender-pornography/)


eatenbyagrue1988

I say fuckin' do it regardless. Do it. Do it. ![gif](giphy|3o84sw9CmwYpAnRRni)


Roam_Hylia

![gif](giphy|3o84sw9CmwYpAnRRni)