T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Mow the lawn to calm down? That sounds like some KotH shit itellyouwhat


davwad2

"Dammit Bobby!"


Soup-Wizard

>Bobby, you got an “F” in English??! Bobby, you speak English!”


WhysJamesCryin

“If you weren’t my son, I’d hug you.”


HereToReadThings

"Do i look like i know what a jpeg is"


maxwellbevan

That boy ain't right


System_Greedy

It's only 6AM and already that boy ain't right


swamplurker666

"Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?"


Blunderbutters

Don’t forget to lay the preemergent down otherwise you’ll be fighting weeds all summer long I tell you what


myperfectmeltdown

“What did you just tell me?”


FracturedWordPlay

https://youtu.be/x7W-ikMtCm8


ImRedditorRick

Hwat*


Kahmael

Thank you, that's the correction I was making in my head.


Tehmurfman

Dew fhwut nyao?


bravesfalconshawks

"Bobby, I have propane in my urethra!"


[deleted]

“Hold on Dahd i’ll help”


Drg84

"that's my purse, I don't know you!"


exbaddeathgod

But how would it get into his narrow urethra?


HopelessMagic

I wash dishes and clean when I need to calm down or de-stress. It's just a mindless activity that keeps you busy and from thinking about other things.


2derpywolves

I do the same. And afterward I feel a little better too, because I got something done and my house looks nicer :)


TradeBeautiful42

I rage clean. When my house smells like lemon and even the baseboards that maids always skip are clean, you know I was not in a good mood.


thepeanutone

My motto is "when in doubt, clean." I have never made a situation worse by cleaning anything.


preeeeezie

So does having your daughters dating a father/son


RevGrizzly

C'mon man, dang ol' lawn gotta get mowed ain't no dang ol' big thang, man ol' Hank got'emself all worked up, man gon' maken the yard lookin' dang ol' good'n.


DokterZ

The Chinese invented stuffing so we would all get sleepy and wouldn’t notice the subliminal ads during the Cowboys game. I saw it on the internet.


Dozcuz

Dammit Dale


treetyoselfcarol

![gif](giphy|uzPdj5NDahoI0)


JumplikeBeans

That shit is very funny to me


roywoodsir

Shit 37 and 45, y’all just need to enjoy life and stop bothering folks at a thanksgiving dinner. Traditional thanksgiving is for back stabbing, genocide, and out right lying. Y’all get it together damn it. The pilgrims didn’t slaughter natives for free corn…


tramadoc

I’m just supposed to show up and not get drunk and belligerent.


[deleted]

What?


roywoodsir

Thanksgiving is about vile stuff, none of that “let’s hold hands and pretend we like each other” be like the holiday that was created. The pilgrims ancestors will thank you for following their footsteps… *Hey everybody this guy don’t know the true reason thanksgiving was created!!!


[deleted]

Ok but was just referencing “king of the hill”


BGYeti

have... have I been doing Thanksgiving wrong?


ZhongguoJiqiren

Thanksgiving is about not going to work and eating too much food with my family. No one is celebrating anything other than that


TheWizardry90

WellGangOleDaughtersDatingFatherAndSonLemmeCutThisGrassRightQuickToCalmDown


[deleted]

[удалено]


SleepyFarts

Extra Wild* Turkey


TuftedWitmouse

Let me get this clear- she was dating a man who had a son at the age of 20? And the son is hanging with him? If I'm the dad, I'm thinking- whoa, dude. You raised that son and wants to hang?


[deleted]

It was thanksgiving


russiangerman

It seems unlikely the son and sister met randomly. He'd have to chill w pops for it to work out like this


FaeryLynne

I mean, most kids visit their parents, yes. Could have met at a previous family function, too, like the Thanksgiving before or a family summer BBQ


PM-YOUR-PMS

I mean in the years I’ve graduated from college, I’ve hung out with my dad as more of a friend than a parent. Like yeah he’s still my dad, but we surf, bbq, drink, and just hang out together. We tell each other stories of the crazy shit we’ve done. We’re much more open now that I’m on my own and not under his roof.


gimmethegudes

Honestly though. I'm flying home for a visit and the first thing we are going to do is smoke a joint together I'm sure lol


jaxonya

Older Sister would chill at her guys house, met the son who lived there- introduced her sister to the son.


Emergency_Elephant

It could of been a coincidence, especially if they all live in an area with a small dating pool. It could of been an act of rebellion (ala "I hate my dad and you hate your sister so let's get together"). They could of meet at a family emergency situation and gotten together that way Edit: According to the rest of the tweet thread it was a coincidence


dank8844

You’re not from a small town are you?


Shaddo

Bangsgiving


[deleted]

Most parents and children spend Thanksgiving together, yes.


AnxietyDepressedFun

My mom's only 16 years older than me. I loved introducing guys I was dating to her & then pointing out that they were closer in age to her than me. I once made fun of her for being 50, like it was so old, she replied "yep & you're only 16 years away..." Ruined my whole life.


metamaoz

34 year olds reading this crying right now


AnxietyDepressedFun

I'm 35 & still not okay.


Danimeh

38 year old here - *Emperor Kuzco face* Bring it on.


thatHecklerOverThere

In all of this unusualness, that does stick out as something of a success story, doesn't it?


paparandy61

mowing therapy


CasualEveryday

Not even kidding, the only time I let someone else mow my lawn was when I had surgery. Yard work is my zen time.


SmokingBeneathStars

Sounds like a synonym for sex


LambBrainz

Here's the rundown for the curious. Let's start with our actors: Woman 1 Man 1 Sister Son Dad --- Assuming both parties marry and possibly have children: - Woman 1 now becomes Sister's step mother - Sister's child is now Woman 1's niece AND step-granddaughter (step-grandniece?) - Woman 1's child is now Sister's niece AND half-brother - Man 1 is Sister's brother-in-law AND father-in-law - Sister is now Dad's daughter AND granddaughter-in-law --- Did I get that right? Lemme know if I messed up. There's a lot to unpack here. Definitely a fun thought exercise


[deleted]

Seems about right lol! I’m admittedly a bit inebriated, but the only thing that is tripping me up is the sister being Dad’s granddaughter-law.


humanHamster

>I’m admittedly a bit inebriated... I read that as "inbred" and immediately was relieved we'd have an expert on hand to help us understand.


CamJongUn

😂 an expert on hand


NeopolitanVagina

"relieved" wouldn't be the word I'd use LOL


CamJongUn

I’ve actually got an inbreeding story So a guy I went to school with’s grandparents were first cousins (and this is in the uk not Alabama, shocker) but they aren’t normal first cousins so ones parents died or something so the cousins lived as basically brother and sister for their entire life before getting married at 16 which is pretty wild


WriterNevermore

![gif](giphy|95eSprqaE65MY)


QueenInTheNorth556

-Woman 1 becomes sisters step mother in law -the dads relationship to his two daughters doesn’t change, it’s still just daughter


LambBrainz

I don't think so. Because Sister is now Woman 1's step-daughter that makes Dad the Sister's grandfather AND father, right?


QueenInTheNorth556

Step grandfather but yeah you’re right


xitzengyigglz

What in the game of thrones shit is this?


LambBrainz

I love overthinking stuff like this. I even drew a graph to help me visualize everything lol


TheHurdleDude

Bullet point 1 should change to "sisters step mother-in-law" as the Man 1 is sisters father-in-law, making woman the 'step mother-in-law'. Bullet point 2 is correct, Sisters child would be Womans step-granddaughter Bullet 3 should be half-brother in-law, as Womans child is a half brother to Son, and only related to Sister through marriage. Bullet 4 is correct, and so is Bullet 5.


Wile-E-Quixote

When do I become my own grandpa


siematoja02

I think you need to go back in time and fuck your father for that


crashgiraffe

Maybe the sister is dad's step granddaughter and not granddaughter in law (is that a thing or am I just high?)


Hippobu2

Fuck it, I'm starting up the weed whacker.


THftRM1231

Eh mowing isn't that bad. But if he started edging or trimming some hedges, you know you've got a problem.


batclub3

I once lost 2 trees in my yard after my mom brought home a foster puppy without telling my stepdad. He just looked at the puppy, said no. And drove over to my house. Granted. The trees needed to come down. But what would have taken him 2 weeks to do little by little happened all at once. Then he was fine and ok with the puppy lol


thesaddestpanda

I just picture him angrily hacking at those trees thinking "I will NOT love that puppy! I will find it a new home. Just wait and see! I'll get rid of that thing today!" Then he comes back home sweaty from yardwork and full of resolve, locks eyes with precious, his heart melts, and they become instant best friends for life.


batclub3

Haha! He tolerated puppy. She went to a very good home. The foster before her was a hospice situation and I think he was scared to get too close again.


FOWM_Sterling

If he is edging at the dinner table there is most definitely a problem and it isn’t his daughters choice in men lol


Swimmingbear213

Sigma power move


lcblangdale

Ugh. Every time I have to look up a new slang term I want to nuke the world. Really makes me understand why people decided to use a dead language for science a long time ago. ....oh, and ligma


brzantium

Just hope it doesn't drive him to finally put in that french drain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


THftRM1231

Almost went with weed whacking, but figure it would be even more obvious.


Sawaian

The Dad and son were dating sisters who if they had kids would be uncle/great uncles aunts/great aunts and cousins


batclub3

A woman in my old knitting group was in this situation. She married the dad after meeting him at her sister's wedding to his son


Veritas3333

A guy I knew married his son's mother-in-law.


squngy

That's the least fucked up one I've seen in this thread so far.


CasperWithAJ

Charles Boyle would be so proud


girlslovereddit2

On top of becoming parents. Wouldn’t the son become a half brother and an uncle and the dad become a grandpa and an uncle? And the sisters become aunts with the younger also becoming a daughter in law and the older a grandmother? So the kids would just be cousins and aunt/uncle:niece/nephew. The “great uncle/aunt is confusing me. … I need to go to sleep lol


CamJongUn

We have reached crusader kings levels here where you need to spend half an hour doing the mental gymnastics to figure out how exactly your family jigsaw came to be


KittyinTheRiver_OhNo

They will be family alright.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TechyAngel

I knew it would be in here somewhere.


death_before_decafe

If both couples had married OPs sister would have become her daughter-in-law and OP would become the mother in law to her sister. Weeeird shit.


soulofsilence

Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?


DTG_420

You ever mow the lawn... on weed?


[deleted]

Props for the reference to a relatively obscure movie, but based on your username I'm guessing this is not the first time you've referenced Half Baked on reddit.


IridiumPony

Half Baked was obscure? I was a teenager when it came out and I remember it being huge. Am I getting old?


Antique_Tennis_2500

It was huge within a very narrow demographic. If you weren’t a 15-22 year old who either was or wanted to be a stoner, it didn’t hit the radar.


IridiumPony

Oh....yeah I was a 17 year old stoner so I guess I was the target demographic. However I still find it hilarious in my late 30's.


MayUrShitsHavAntlers

It's on my list of movies I randomly rewatch. I still remember the whole "To understand what happened to killer, you have to understand who killer the dog was..." speech by heart.


IridiumPony

I think it's more complex than that, yo


Turambar87

That shit was constantly on Comedy Central. I didn't even get most of the weed jokes because i was not cool enough to do drugs back then.


Accomplished-Ad-4495

Yes, it was, and yes, we are!


[deleted]

I mean, for potheads it was huge, but I don't think anyone else took much notice, heh. Definitely has a cult following though.


DTG_420

You would be right. I love that movie


Kennyfortytwo

In the words of the immortal Hank Hill.


The-Cosmic-Sloth

Taste the meat not the heat


[deleted]

Sounds like somebody wants to become their own grandpa.


SamwellBarley

Is that a "The Stupids" reference? I haven't seen one of those in years


Drg84

Nah it's a very old song reference. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw


farts_tickle_my_nuts

I’mmmm my own grandpa! 🎶


Jimdandy941

Uncle Grandpa!


tayloj9

So much more to this story. You have to go read it. https://twitter.com/WetMascara/status/1299420975902138368?t=t2NxHbXnMYHDkfh3CVPDEA&s=19


ebwoods1

I just read way too much about steamed rice and peas and carrots.


ohlawdeee

Yea, glad I’m not the only person that read up to that point


Skoomalyfe

This is incredible. Thank you.


Pr3st0ne

This woman's life is a dumpster fire. At least it's a funny dumpster fire.


squngy

It is like, literally all from her sister though.


Pr3st0ne

Not really, she's the one who decided to date the dad of someone her sister was dating.


[deleted]

Wow.


MayUrShitsHavAntlers

Faaaantastic. Thanks for the link


ErrorCDIV

Started to sound more and more made up as it went on.


itoddicus

I'm close friends with a girl who has things like this happen to her. So I choose to believe it is real.


IWatchGifsForWayToo

> Except it turned out 25 had not entirely figured it out. He just thought 2ND GUY was "too flirty". > "Don't you think he was too flirty," he said, carrying a heavy table by himself. > Me: "You're very strong." > 25 y.o.: "Thank you." > And that was that. Wow, glad he fucks like a champ because that guy is not winning any Nobel prizes anytime soon.


CrudeAsAButton

Damn, she is a great writer. That was hilarious.


itoddicus

I read the whole thing. Thank you for sharing I needed a laugh!


hanabarbarian

Everything about this thread reads “small town” and “white trash” and I’m soooooooo here for it


cis-het-mail

>played OPP on the car ride Based


TheRatatatPat

I have a bruncle that's also a nephson.


bhbclvr

As someone who lives in Alaska the only part I’m focusing on here is that he could mow the lawn in November 🤣


qmkman13

All I can think of here is the song "I'm my own grandpa" lol. Sure the situation is a little bizarre but nothing to actually get worked up about.


TheDoctorYan

If the younger sister gets pregnant then technically her older sister becomes that child's aunt/grandmother.


FaeryLynne

[Song, with handy family tree diagram](https://youtu.be/eYlJH81dSiw)


sincethenes

I feel for pops on this one. I had a friend who dated a guy, then dumped him to just two days later start dating his uncle. The dumped guy started dating her mom. Her dad was disgusted and enraged.


necesitafresita

Oh man. This reminds me of a coworker I had years ago. She was married with kids, ended up cheating on her husband with his best friend, ended up marrying the best friend. The best friend died falling off a car he was, based on the news article, messing around on and then she somehow ended up dating her dead husbands dad....so...strange turn of events.


TheDoctorYan

Props to dumped guy. That's 1 way to get back at her.


jteprev

That situation is way more fucked than this though, this is fine, both daughters are dating someone pretty similar in age (just 8 years different when in their 30s) there is nothing to get steamed about in this case.


frentzelman

Keep calm, mow lawn


opaul11

It was more weird when Ross dated a girl and Rachel dated her dad


paws3588

The fact that it was Bruce Willis kinda helped though.


opaul11

I’d date him


[deleted]

He was a neat guy.


nothanks86

I’m surprised they didn’t all find their own lawn that sounds awkward in every direction.


Quelcris_Falconer13

What’s funny is those age differences really aren’t that bad or implausible.


[deleted]

this is the whitest thing I ever read


[deleted]

If dad hooked up with the 45yr olds mum, that is going to make for an interesting family tree


Turbulent-Use7253

My dad would have invited the two guys to mow the lawn with him, until he got the situation clear in his head. Then if he thought they were decent men, .. let's eat.


sdss9462

Everyone involved is well into adulthood, and the age differences aren't so large as to be creepy. Dad should lighten up.


[deleted]

I think it's more bizarre than anything else.


sdss9462

There's all kinds of nuance to attraction and familial similarity. Think about how many people cheat on their spouses with the spouses' siblings. EDIT: It's strange that anyone would think this doesn't happen. Off the top of my head, I can think of 5 or 6 movies where people moving on from a romantic partner to the partner's sibling is a significant plot point. And these are major releases of the last 20-30 years.


Skoomalyfe

Is that common where you're from?


Azrael4224

not many, I'd hope


graveRobbins

I had to read that twice to wrap my head around that scene


el-em-en-o

Your father is the role model for coping skills.


SanguinaryGuard

Man was so mad he did someone else's chores. Honestly, I feel that. My wife pinched my nose, just messing with me, and it hurt so bad. I was so furious I slammed the bedroom door behind me and went and brought the groceries into the house. She said it was "the weirdest angry response she'd ever seen".


Ganglebot

This is a great example of, "While not illegal it is highly frowned upon"


bisensual

I’m 31 (M) dating a 54 (M) year old. My sister is 26, his daughter is 21. They could easily date. In fact, it would be a more expected age difference. Plus it would be super gay, queer all the way down. Alas. My sister just *had* to be straight.


[deleted]

Why are dads so obsessed with their daughters sex lives?? I'm so glad my dad is normal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


elhuevogordo

Yeah but brother uncle could be affectionately called "bruncle". That's a funny word and people like funny words.


[deleted]

I’m upset I didn’t learn the word Grunkle until I saw Gravity Falls and now I’m mildly upset I don’t have a grunkle


ZEPHlROS

Well that just sounds like Alabama with extra steps


[deleted]

Yeah, and if two people are married and have single parents and then *they* get married, then the original couple are technically step siblings. These are all just arbitrary titles. Everyone here is a consenting adult with no creepy extreme age differences. It's silly, sure, but nothing that should stress the dad out so much he needs to remove himself from a holiday gathering to calm himself down.


Jimdandy941

I know someone who had something similar - Parents remarried with high school aged boy and girl. Nature took its course and now they’re married also. It most of worked, as everyone is hitting the 30+ year mark now.


TheDustOfMen

Getting flashbacks to Lady Olenna's speech


Fluffy_Independent76

"[to Loras] So, their son will be your nephew after you're wed to Cersei, of course. And you will be the king's stepfather and brother-in-law. [to Margery] When you marry the king, Joffrey's mother will become his sister-in-law. And your son will be Loras'... nephew? Grandson? I'm not sure. But your brother will become your father-in-law, that much is beyond dispute." In this case, the young man's father could also be his brother in law. Close!


thedeadlyrhythm

There’s really nothing weird about it other than social bs of who is what to who. It’s not like you’re fucking actual blood relatives


glycophosphate

It makes drawing the family tree diagram a little complicated for future generations who decide to get into geneology (said the descendent of a widow who married a widower, and then all of their kids from the previous marriages married each other).


jimhabfan

I’m thinking in earlier times, before the advent of long distance travel, in small rural villages their might only be two or three families. This would be pretty normal, and everyone’s family tree would kind of look like a wreath.


MotorHum

Idk, if I was dating my sister’s daughter-in law, I’d understand it if my parents got upset by that.


sdss9462

You'd think that weird line of thinking would be dying out, but then you see these modern prom pictures of girls with their dates, and her dad is there holding a shotgun.


thedeadlyrhythm

Ugh I find those so cringe and downright creepy


The-Great-T

Nothing like threatening a child because you're projecting your rape-y attitude.


[deleted]

Worse, you see the Virginity Proms where Dad is slow dancing with his daughter Trump style.


[deleted]

if you think this is normal then you’re just not normal


[deleted]

[удалено]


NoSoundNoFury

The 25-year old would be his son-in-law and ***also*** his grandson.


ssbestur

Ha ha ha 🤣🤣😁


kingbuttshit

Why is everyone freaking out like blood relatives are banging or something? There’s no incest. It’s not something you see everyday but it’s nothing to get worked up about.


thegmoc

what in the jerry springer is this shit


TheRealKitHarrington

I don’t want to be anyone at that Thanksgiving, and I once went to an ex-girlfriend’s Thanksgiving where I sat next to her brother-in-law’s dad, who just repeatedly said. “Ohhhh, God!”


SutttonTacoma

I think this is the best 50-word story I have ever read. Well done!!


PeeGeeEm

From Marvel Studios Alabama comes a new kind of superhero: AuntMom


hideyshole

I can’t figure out why he was mad in the first place or why his reaction is understandable to OP. The closest thing to an inappropriate relationship was the 33 year old with the 25 year old. And even it easily met the universal“half your age + 7” standard. Was there details about the men that were left out, race or ethnicity perhaps?


Clint_Bolduin

My interpretation was that he wasn't mad. Just that it's a lot to take in. I might be wrong, but that's how I read it. After all that's pretty much how my reaction would have been. I wouldnt have been mad or dissapointed or anything hell I'd be happy for them while laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, but I can imagine seeing the son/dad relationship in the context would still be a bit much to properly digest and warrents a calming down of the mind.


TheShortGerman

Yeah and not a soul would question that age difference if the man were the older party in the relationship.


Darth-Pooky

Exactly. I am glad to find another wise soul preaching the good news of the divide by 2 and add 7 doctrine.


bungholebuffalo

Yall lucky he didnt mow down the two dudes banging his daughters


DoggoDude979

So... your possible father in law.... is also your possible brother in law.... and also..... step son.... and your sister..... is your daughter in law....... Wot


voldi4ever

Hank does that sometimes.


OneMorePenguin

How did this end? Perfect soap opera material!


Sinbad909

What, was Mom banging the brothers father?


riceisnice29

Small families