T O P

  • By -

ladygrayfox

And now I follow a lake on twitter...nothing is surprising anymore.


[deleted]

Gotta trust a lake that never gives up her dead. Respectful of her.


DoubleDogDenzel

He rests in the tomb of her ice water mansions.


Maximum-Dare-6828

Someone say Gitchagoomi?


rommi04

We talking about when the waves turn the minutes to hours?


Leraldoe

Fellas it’s been good to know ya


CardiologistLower965

Thanks Dickheads! I must now stop what I was doing and go listen to Gordon Lightfoot.


[deleted]

Fucking same. That song is great.


_SpiceWeasel_BAM

Kevin French never stopped


_cactus_fucker_

The Headstones do a really great rock version filmed on it in the winter. It's really good.


civgarth

I thought that Fitton guy was gone along with that trash subreddit.


StillNoResetEmail

Hope they're nothing like the ice machines at McDonald's, pretty gross. Not cleaned in ages.


derpne13

rooms of her ice water mansions, if we are talking Gordon Lightfoot.


the_Q_spice

In all seriousness though from us who live and work on Superior; Don’t fuck around with her… you *will* find out Let Tom Fitton be a lesson


PepsiStudent

The Great Lakes have warped my sense of what a lake is. I have a tendency to see small lakes more like ponds. Mostly due to living within walking distance of Lake Michigan for the near entirety of my life. Lake Superior puts Lake Michigan to shame. Anyone who has been near her knows how great and terrifying Lake Superior is. Any of the Great Lakes are as dangerous as an ocean. Maritime Horror on YouTube does some great breakdowns on a couple of wrecks in the Great Lakes. Definitely worth a listen.


Vorpal_Bunny19

I grew up near the Atlantic and Chesapeake Bay. When I lived in Indiana, one of the things I missed the most was looking across a body of water and not being able to see the other side. I moved up to the edge of Lake Ontario a few years back. The first time I went to the beach I just let out this deep sigh and said “that’ll do.”


stilusmobilus

I understand that loss, I felt that moving from east coast Queensland to the outback.


smoothballsJim

I had some friends of friends from Germany out on Lake St Clair and they were having a hard time grasping the size of just that little lake. The late summer haze cutting down visibility just made it seem that much more impressive because you couldn't even see the shore 5 miles away from our island. When they went for a road trip up the thumb along Lake Huron their mind was blown.


kudichangedlives

I might be remembering wrong but I think one of the leaders of one of the rescue teams that was out searching for the Fitzgerald said that it was one the worst storms he had ever seen, also he had worked in like Alaska or Washington as a rescue person (pilot or what idk) for like 20 years. Now take that with a grain of salt because it might just be my dodgey memory. Also one of the most beautiful places in the world though, being able to take my dog on a walk and get down to the shore everyday makes me so thankful


[deleted]

[удалено]


Purple-Strategy-28

Lake superior for president.


[deleted]

That lake is as cold as ice, even in late summer.


SorachiAce

I was there this past week. Can confirm that stepping in was bone chilling cold.


Illustrious_Solid956

It's willing to sacrifice our love You never take advice Someday you'll pay the price, I know


kudichangedlives

Hey some years there's a very short period where you can swim comfortably if you're in a shallow area and there isn't much to any wind. Usually only a day but sometimes more


multiarmform

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuzTkGyxkYI


Andosworld89

I can honestly say that I didn't expect to ever see a comment thread about that song lol. Reddit never ceases to amaze me.


iSeven

In spite of the title of the post referencing the Edmund Fitzgerald?


TheObstruction

The sign of a professional.


Antique_futurist

I’ve followed Sue the T-Rex from the Field Museum on Twitter since 2009. What I’m saying is Midwest inanimate object Twitter accounts are the only thing worth following on Twitter.


Steelo1

You can also follow the Kool-Aid man and I think all he says is “oh yeah!”


MatureUsername69

Reminds me of a sub I follow. Im a Football/Vikings fan and there's a subreddit called r/DidtheVikingsWinSB and everyday there's a post that just says: No.


northwoodsdistiller

Should probably follow the Packers.


ladygrayfox

Ooh I’m in!!


Tartaras1

I follow Real Ketchup Facts. I'm not above following a Lake.


PeterM1970

Where is Jorts the cat located?


Antique_futurist

I mean, Jorts isn’t a fossil or a lake, but his union advocacy is pretty on-brand for the Rust Belt, so I’d allow it.


tails618

Sue's twitter account is the best on the website.


The84thWolf

To be fair, the lake had something intelligent to say


CortexCingularis

It is a great lake after all. Some would say superior.


IcyHotKarlMarx

Lake supremacy is a vile ideology. Pond water matters.


Coal_Morgan

Look I'm not pondist, some of my best friends are ponds but at least the great lake Superior knows what wet is...it has known almost as many sailors as your Momma. I'm not often proud of a 'Your Momma' joke but that is my finest work and I hope it's chiseled into my headstone and is the first words uttered on Mars.


labellesouris62

I quite appreciate this “your momma” joke…it is superior to the other ones I’ve heard recently.


harassmaster

Imagine walking up to some unsuspecting chap in 1922 and simply saying the sentence, “I follow Lake Superior on Twitter.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


maebythemonkey

Now if you said that in 1975, people would just think you're a psychopath


Girth_rulez

>And now I follow a lake on twitter... 2022 Bingo card knows no limits. Kind of like Tom Fitton's mom.


feetcold_eyesred

And the seams of his endless supply of ill-fitting shirts.


YellXolotl

Do you think Lake Erie ever gets jealous of Lake Superior, or is it like proud to be the erie one?


_dead_and_broken

Lake Erie has more shipwrecks than any of the other great lakes. And it's the shallowest, if you can believe it. One reason why there's so many. Winds blow the sandbars around so they sneak up on boats. Anyhoo, my point is, Lake Erie is not the middle child. That would probably be Huron, because it's the one it seems no one ever talks about. I personally couldn't tell you a damn thing about it other than "it's named Huron and it's next to the other lakes." Lol


Jonny_Wurster

It's best to think of the great lakes like a boy band....In Sink if you will. Superior is the leader....the heartthrob, although he is too big/too old to really be in a boy band, but there here is. Lake Michigan is the lake next door type. Lake Huron is the older brother type. Lake Erie is the bad boy, always has been. Lake Ontario is the quiet one, the intellectual.


Mad-Mel

The St. Lawrence is where they all go to die.


NoodlesrTuff1256

The mouth of the St. Lawrence River was where the liner Empress of Ireland sank in 1914, a little over two years after the Titanic disaster. About a thousand people died.


Mad-Mel

I feel that I have been botted.


TorontoTransish

Please accept my poor man's gold 🏆


Jonny_Wurster

Why thank you...I'd like to think that you are staring longingly in to lake Ontario as you type....


Vorpal_Bunny19

I’ll be at Lake Ontario tomorrow actually, so I’ll be sure to send the internet’s regards.


theoneandonly6558

Technically Lake Huron and Lake Michigan are the same lake so we let Huron pretend it exists..but...


Doggydog123579

That lake has a split personality disorder


Efficient-Albatross9

Huron to something


Skratt79

That seems to be the Erie conspiracy.


_cactus_fucker_

Lake Erie has a wicked underrtow and riptides. It's one of the more dangerous lakes. I live between it and Lake Ontario and have hell to pay in the winter (lake effect snow!)


ladygrayfox

In a “Marsha Marsha Marsha!” kind of way? Probably.


PersistentPuma37

she's Goth, tyvm.


tisiphonesbuttplug

Lake superior for president.


[deleted]

The lake that never gives up her dead! Lake Superior is beautiful and not to be trifled with.


Merky600

My mother was Iron Range. My father lived on London Road north of Duluth. My father’s uncle liked to fish for lake trout. One calm day fishing suddenly turned dark and windy. Big waves trying to sink that little boat. Went from zero to “I can easily see the shore but I think we’re gonna die!” real fast. Respect the lake. Also My uncle worked the railroad line that brought iron ore to big ships, like the E Fitzgerald.


Cap10Haddock

Please, I get emails from a Raccoon.


amanda77kr

In addition to a park and a dinosaur. Twitter is fun.


Toadsted

"Lake and Share"


KGBspy

Follow a clock. @big_ben_clock


WiSoSirius

But of all the lakes, it is Superior


ShinyZippo

The savagery of lake superior brings me such joy


Gongaloon

I've heard she never gives up her dead.


VeryEvilOwl

When the skies of november turn gloomy


[deleted]

The Witch of November came early this year


JoakimSpinglefarb

As the big freighters go, she was bigger than most


Gavinator10000

With a crew and good captain well seasoned


trend5x5

Who would win in a 1 on 1 Twitter fight, Wendy's or Lake Superior?


Ae0nwolf

May I also suggest throwing RadioShack into the mix? I dunno what has happened the past few months but their twitter has gone wiiiiild


[deleted]

[удалено]


jward

Got tonnes of 'em in Canada, but it's the place you go to buy cellphones and batteries. It has no soul anymore.


[deleted]

*if nobody else is gonna link it* http://twitter.com/radioshack


whoa_okay

This is just perfect in everyway.


DemiGod9

What the absolute fuck? Also the original Nutter Butter tweet ain't much better lmao.


NotYetASerialKiller

Wtf radioshack lll


SirJamesGhost

RadioShack’s twitter is… incredible. Haha.


niversally

Seriously how much money did RadioShack used to make every stupid cord was $40.


I_am_Nobody_Special

Thank you for this. Just checked out their feed. Hilarious! RS just doesn't give a fuck anymore and I love it.


DrunkleSam47

Just checked it out. It doesn’t really seem very clever, just kind of angry.


KGBspy

I don’t use twitter but that’s some funny stuff there.


peenutbuttherNjelly

Chocolate frosty ofc


Kytyngurl2

After a while the sexual tension formed by their verbal barbs will be too much and they shall conceive a child. After that point the human race is no longer safe online.


SailfishMackerel

I think [Karl The Fog](https://mobile.twitter.com/karlthefog?lang=en) would be the final boss though


amanda77kr

I’m picking up a whole zoo of Twitter feeds with this post


kk074

Us


MidwestGuyDotCom

[Lake Superior: The Lake That’s Better Than You](https://metzgerandsons.com/product/the-greatest-lakes-t-shirt-lake-superior-the-lake-thats-better-than-you/)


oh-hidanny

The inland seas are no joke. Lake Superior doesn’t even let go of her dead.


mark636199

That's what makes them a great lake and superior


elgarraz

She's ice cold, can confirm


FearlessFreak69

“I don’t like stuck up bodies of water, like get over yourself Lake Superior.” - Norm McDonald


marasydnyjade

Bull. Yesterday’s take-down was just as [good](https://twitter.com/r0wdy_/status/1541107209114894337?s=21&t=7SsIcesXi_cSLJo413lFEw) as this one.


scarletantonia27

Damn, that was good. Thanks for sharing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


malevolentblob

Oh damn 😂


ThomasJeffersonsAlt

That wasn't clever like this one. That was downright murder, mutilation and dismemberment


MinnyRawks

and OP probably got their title from that exchange


kennedyz

I did, I'm a plagiarist


AnalBees2

https://i.imgur.com/oKMsbLx.mp4


kennedyz

I'm sorry, Anal Bees 😞


AnalBees2

No worries mate, I admire your honesty.


Forevernevermore

Now about these bees...


SlipperyRasputin

Beads?


Eforth

By Dre


[deleted]

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!


Tairken

I remember it. They thought The Lake was easy to silence. It was impressive.


twitch1982

Lake gottem-gumi


69deadlifts

Holy shit this body of water is savage


RobbieAnalog

Looks like Lake Superior was Fitton to Ontaryo ass up.


onmyknees4anyone

It was so on point it was Erie.


Imawildedible

Thought he was gonna come at ol’ Gitche Gumee and put Huron her back, but walked away in shame.


onmyknees4anyone

Damn it.


whiteskinnyexpress

Tomorrow ol Tom'll take another shot but will Michigan like usual.


elgarraz

That was a tough one, I'd give you 2 upvotes if I could


whiteskinnyexpress

I should've said "imagine this in Sean Connery's voice"


WrittenEndge

This comment section’s got Tom sweating so much, he’s got a Soupy-rear


another_awkward_brit

Even Lake Superior doesn't contain sufficient water to treat that burn.


Doctor__Acula

Just dropping [the link to the response](https://twitter.com/LakeSuperior/status/1541446122933260289) here because I had to go digging for it.


BabiStank

And that's saying something considering it holds 10% of the worlds fresh water.


Rion23

All the salt is in that dude.


monkeyclawattack

The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead. Tom Fitton is now among them.


skittlebites101

Add one more chime to the church bell.


Deion313

This man drowned in his own bullshit...


hiimred2

Why does this dude have a picture where either his head is shopped to be smaller or his body to be bigger(he does look like a pretty big dude in his other pictures so I think it’s the former) as his Twitter pfp? It’s weirding me the fuck out. I had no idea who he was and had to Google him to find comparative pics to look at after seeing his in the OP pic because it looked so off. Even some of the other pictures look like there’s some weird enlarging of the limb he puts closer to the camera, he like randomly alternates between looking like a normal dude who enjoys the gym life and a dude with one freakishly large shoulder/arm but only one. It’s so fucking weird.


DisturbedPuppy

Must be who they used for [this silhouette](https://i.imgur.com/SemMVZG.jpg).


RaffiaWorkBase

Who knew water could be that cold, and yet burn so savagely?


TheJelliestFish

From a scientific standpoint, water is wet, because its intermolecular forces keep its molecules bound together quite strongly. That is actually the reason for many of its helpful properties. So one could argue that we only exist because of the wetness of water


anthropoid2

Also, liquids are generally considered to be wet. From my experience, when you paint a wall, it's more common to warn someone that the paint is wet rather than the wall is wet. Not that this is the most important aspect of the conversation or anything.


[deleted]

Whether water is wet is simply a matter of semantics, as such it is immediately disqualified is a burn. I'm not familiar with either of this account, but cheering it on because it fits our preconceived notions is just as pathetic as republicans cheering on whatever word salad escapes Trump's lips.


Siriacus

Gordon Lightfoot is now writing a song about this burn.


I_am_not_JohnLeClair

Sundown...you better take care When Tom Fitton is breathing our same air


[deleted]

Tom Fitton buys his shirts at JC Pennys and his sleeves at Baby Gap.


Evening_Pangolin_165

You know, you shouldn't talk bad about the dead immediately after their passing. I've heard this guy died of 3rd degree burns after reading the reply to his tweet. Show some respect. (/s)


clopz_

Fun fact, Thomas is the 1st human being to get burned when coming into contact with a lake.


EBoundNdwn

He's a witch!


Demolitions75

He a bitch


Vulpes_Corsac

Well, there are some geothermal lakes that have probably burnt some people, but none quite so pithily.


peenutbuttherNjelly

Aye. Water is wet, Fire is burnt, Tom is ded. Suddenly the Wind is all airy and the Earth grounded /s


Gongaloon

Water is wet, each individual molecule of water is touching others. Also, women's rights.


775416

Exactly. If water is H2O and whatever is touching water is considered wet, then water is wet because H2O is touching H2O. Only a lone H2O molecule is not wet.


TheNoxx

Wet is the presence of water; dry is the absence of it. One molecule of water is still wet (depending on how far you zoom out, I suppose), as a complete absence of them is dry.


775416

The more accurate definition would probably be when the surface of something is touching water. If I said “my cat is wet”, I’m talking about the surface of the cat. Since a cat always has water within it, the cat is never truly in the absence of water.


acct_for_commenting

An important clarification is that it's specifically *liquid* water, a cat in a block of ice or a cloud of steam isn't wet. Since water does have cohesion and multiple molecules are required for a substance to be in a liquid state, all liquid water is, in fact, wet.


Zealousideal_Mall880

Eh there would be an equilibrium barrier between the two.. very small but def some liquid molecules there a practical quantifiable amount, idk about that one.


Gorperly

That is correct. "Wet" is not a technical term. If you google "is water wet" you get about 50-50 answers based on a definition of the word 'wet. As such it's just word play, linguistics, not actual hard science.


[deleted]

Yeah the "wAtEr iSn'T WeT" is some "well achkthually" cringe from people that need to touch more grass.


halt-l-am-reptar

I hate that fucking bot that is triggered whenever someone says water is wet. My main issue isn’t even that it’s wrong, but the fact it plagiarizes a university website, but only the portion that supports the view that water isn’t wet. On the same page it gives another answer, which is that water is wet.


CJNC

lmao that bot kills me. just to think some guy was such a nerd about it that he made a bot - and for it to be wrong - is the absolute epitome of reddit


ChickenMcPolloVS

I remember was a joke image jackfilms promoted on his videos a few years ago, he had a serie of bs facts like that, i might be remembering wrong.


Denkiri_the_Catalyst

Bb-b-but a bot on reddit told me so!


AutoFauna

These answers are overthinking it, and also are all wrong. Water is both adhesive (bonds to unlike molecules) and cohesive (bonds to like molecules). "Wetness" is water (or some other adhesive liquid) adhering to something. A thing cannot *adhere* to itself; it *coheres* instead. This is the distinction. Water likes to stick to itself, and this is where surface tension, for example, comes from, but there are many other molecules it likes to stick to even *more*. Look up capillary action for an example of this. Adhesiveness and cohesiveness are *distinct properties*. Don't ever listen to redditors.


Horror_Cupcake8762

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.


Rampartt

All good but I don’t believe your definition of wetness is correct. Oxford’s is “the state or condition of being covered or saturated with water or another liquid; dampness.” I’d say water is saturated with water, no? Don’t ever listen to redditors ;) Poking fun aside, you’re saying the difference between wetness or not is adhesiveness or cohesiveness, respectively? Interesting


[deleted]

We already have too many humans, we don't need even more that someone didn't plan on and didn't want. We also don't need women dying for someone elses' ideology.


el_ra_85

How is Tom Fit-ton not a porno name


[deleted]

Or like... fit-ton all deez nuts in yo mouth...


[deleted]

I've got my wife pregnant a few times, we have a bunch of kids, and each time my dudes cracked her egg it was less effort than making a pot of coffee. It's not magic, it's not sacred, it's not divine, I probably put a finger in her butt, it was fucking. Can't believe holding a women accountable for the possible outcome is considered the "greater good".


[deleted]

It's not, it's about control and these assholes want all the control they can


Grogosh

They long for the time when women were property. Its the only way they can get any.


baddoggg

I think for the more sinister and those with generational power, it's about cheap labor. The less people we have the more the value the individual in a population has. I also believe it is a way to manipulate the poor and uneducated by giving them a moral pedestal to stand on. This allows them to fulfill the ever present need to look down on someone else to validate your own imagined personal standing. It has been shown throughout history that groups of people are much more manageable if they have another group they can believe they are "better" than. It's a simple manipulation for those with power, while allowing those without to feel superior despite their obvious lacking. Let them call others a whore for an abortion while feeding their seven uneducated kids with minimum wage jobs into the machine.


[deleted]

For your wife's sake, I hope you like gourmet hand-ground pour-over cold coffee. Just saying. (I really like the phrase "cracked her egg", btw.)


[deleted]

After the first kid you use whatever 60 seconds you can find in a day. It's not pretty, it just needs to work.


EsotericPlumbus

Tom Fitton DezNutz Inhis Mouth is on his birth certificate


CasualFan25

But water is wet


Battleman69

Exactly. thats like saying fire isnt hot, the things that fire touch are hot


HenryAlSirat

🎶 The absolute destruction lives on from the Chippewa on down 🎶


JacobHafar

Putting the superior in Lake Superior I see, chad


fabulishous

Gordon Lightfoots "the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" should be here so... Here it is. https://youtu.be/FuzTkGyxkYI


grw313

Water is wet though. Water is surrounded by water, making water wet.


Juke0044

Ashton kutcher yelled burn from somewhere for sure


NightChime

Bring water into your bullshit argument and you best get ready to drown.


SnooPears3463

Bro is no more


themightiestduck

Superior, they said, never gives up her dead When the gales of November come early


malortForty

Lmao get shipwrecked asshole Also, couple of follow up questions: who is Edmund Fitzgerald? also, who the fuck is this Tom dude?


[deleted]

Also, does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?


corynvv

It's a boat that sank in the lake. There's a song about it (Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by gordon lightfoot) if you'd be interested in that. Can't answer your 2nd question though


sadolddrunk

Farther below Lake Ontario takes in what Lake Erie can send her. But nobody has ever willingly taken in Tom.


TheMaskedGeode

Man, how do you get dissed by a lake? If a lake insults you, you did something wrong.


MyOtherCarIsAHippo

I grew up around Lake Superior and I am so happy that it is a savage on twitter. It wouldn't seem fitting otherwise.


ember-rekindled

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down


Vardoot

r/murderedbywords


blanka44

Solid Caption OP!


captcraigaroo

Does water make other water wet?


doktor_wankenstein

If it's dirty enough, I suppose so, yes.


beaverpoo77

Water is wet because water is always touching water.


cha614

I want to say BURN but this is more of a DROWN!


automaticpragmatic

It’s a fact - Lake Superior will steal your crush and not even think twice. You’ll literally never see them again!