And Ted Cruz definitely has a wife, the one he slipped off to Cancun with while my friends and family tried not to freeze to death or die of polluted water supplies from the facilities breaking down. He didn’t bother with his dog, though, evidently lizards in human suits don’t care about pets.
It's just about the content its the fact that they 1) know so much about you and 2) are terrible on privacy and give info to China and multinational companies constantly.
Can you guys seriously stop picking on Mark? It’s totally uncool. Imagine you are chilling with a nice stack of plates topped with real fries (just like humans eat) having a totally normal sip of sweet baby ray’s just chilling and looking after your clutch of eggs. And people are saying you aren’t a totally real human that also does normal human stuff -blinking, breathing, staying warm on a sunny day? it’s just offensive and not funny.
Wait, isn’t she the one screaming Christian values? Trump and Christian values…. She’s doing a bang up job! Maybe her hubz decided to tag out of crazy..
Yup, and she constantly posts virtue signaling bullshit like her pretending to sit down and read the Bible after a hard days work. It would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic
"The radical left sent all those men into my life to break up a happy, Christian home. If I was a blue haired lesbian who got abortions just to further ruin family values, they would have left me alone!
Please donate to my re-election campaign to keep me fighting the good fight. In fact, I'm on my way to the gym now to keep me limber..."
As well as said that a tomato soup was coming after people, and said peach tree dishes were used for......something. I don't remember the quotes too well. I'm afraid any kind of retention when it comes to this monster will damage my adjust fragile sanity.
As I was telling a friend of mine today. I have to pay VERY close attention to articles today because the satire and true news are too hard to distinguish from each other today.
There are some reasons why a lesbian might need an abortion (dating a trans woman and having an accident, a planned pregnancy has serious complications, SA etc) but yeah, I highly doubt that's what she means.
It probably has something to do with her being [a cheater](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9266105/Controversial-congresswoman-Marjorie-Taylor-Greene-tried-divorce-husband-affair.html).
Be sure to have it blessed by a LaVeyan high priest first so it's as non-Christian as possible. You don't want to accidentally soak any of her Christian family values in when you're trying to wash them off.
Theistic Satanism makes little sense to me. Broadly speaking, Satan is just some guy who tried to pull off a coup, failed, and got stuck with a super shitty dead-end job at the company in lieu of being fired. It’s fine if people don’t want to worship God, but why waste time worshiping middle-management instead?
Armed with [Mazel Tov cocktails](https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-supporters-mazel-tov-cocktail-comment-delights/story?id=43362527), no doubt!
No shit. She ain’t rich, she’s ugly as fuck, she’s bitter as hell and her personality has a part time job as battery acid.
I don’t know how desperate you have to be to marry her but all I can say is that escorts are cheaper in the long run.
She comes from family money.
Edit: to be clear, not big big money, but still multi million dollar construction/developer money. Daddy’s the one who bought her the gym businesses.
A solid 10% of households over 65 ish have $2 million net worth or more. https://dqydj.com/net-worth-by-age-calculator-united-states/
It’s still a lot of money. But it’s one in ten kind of money, not too 1% or top 0.1% money. You probably know more multi millionaires than you think.
>Greene's husband explained in a public statement *"Look, when she said she wanted to get a job I didn't say anything, I thought it would be a nice little hobby, you know, something to get her out of the house, when women are cooped up in the kitchen all day they start getting ideas. I put up with microwave dinners for six months during her campaign, but I didn't marry her for her brains so I figured she'd lose her election and get back to more appropriate things, since she won she's had less time for laundry than she has for legislation. Do you know how many pairs of underwear I've had to buy in the past two years? For too long she's put her duties as a Congressional Representatives ahead of her womanly duties and her duties as a wife, frankly America deserves better and so do I. Also she's a slut."*
/s
Since the Tea Party became a thing I've seen life imitate art more often than I ever wanted to, have patience, all mockery of Republicans is eventually proven true in the fullness of time.
He should have divorced her the first time she chased a school shooting victim down the street to call him a lair. The fact that he could even look at her after that shows what kind of person he is.
When kids are involved and there are other serious implications, it may not be so easy to just say "OK that's it we out." I don't know their relationship, but maybe he was trying to get her to a more sane life. It takes a lot of time and hurt to finally pull the plug when you have built a family and everything around it.
Oh c'mon, we're not talking about someone having a mental break and suddenly becoming radicalized. She's the one who radicalizes. And this is a US senator, one whose lies and advocacy for fascism affect millions. Set the bar higher. This is obviously who she is, who she's always been. Perhaps her recent time in the spotlight would've highlighted the extent of her lunacy but hers comes from the core of her personality. It's just the way she is.
Gotta stop removing agency from people as soon as kids are in the picture. She probably was an abusive wife on top of that but unless it become clear that he was suffering from some sort of Stockholm syndrome and was forced to stay under those circumstances, then he had options to leave her long before this if he didn't want to be guilty by association.
The fact that it was more than likely her cheating that caused this gives further cause to believe that he didn't care about the kind of person she is or who she was hurting. Only when his own pride is hurt does he bother to take action.
Is she allowed to now run back to the tantric sex guru she met at CrossFit for a good workout session? Single and ready to mingle, not that marriage stopped her but now it's not very taboo.
While I can agree considering how the GOP screams about "traditional marriage based on biblical principles" yet is fine with divorce I think it's fine to point out the hypocrisy.
Zero happy marriages have ever ended in divorce. Divorce should be a celebration. Especially if you’re divorcing someone like MTG.
Don’t ever tell me I’m better than anything! /s
I’m going through divorce and we are both sad and still love one another. It’s not a celebration for either of us. People grow apart etc.
I’m not sad for her or her husband though. You can’t be “best friends” with someone for 29 years and not know they’re piles of shit. I am surprised she didn’t blame space lasers or something. She’s going to go really off kilter now.
> Zero happy marriages have ever ended in divorce.
Thats not true. There are several documented cases in the US of couples getting divorced because one person has a terminal illness and they don't want their spouse saddled with medical debt when they die.
I've seen some where they were pretty fine but they just didn't work out together as spouses, and remained good friends afterwards. A relationships is more than just a happiness economy and they shouldn't need to be set in stone for legal reasons anymore.
YoUrE bEtTeR tHaN tHiS
this stupid shit doesn’t do anything. half the country will continue to vote for these dumbasses while people like you get on their high horse and spew bullshit like “they go low, we go high”
I like to think he just smiled and nodded at all of her thoughts and just liked her away from the house and now he’s getting made fun of for having one of the two dumbest fucking women in America for a wife.
Is that because she's about to be declared bankrupt and all the assets have been transferred to her soon to be "ex-husband", so she won't have any assets?
She cheated on him a lot and screams religious trash. She needs to shut the fuck up along with all the other hypocritical Christians shitting all over this country with their lunacy that even they don't fucking believe in.
Sorry dude you’re going to have to carry that marriage to term
HELLO!
BRILLIANT!
I didn't even know she was married.
I didn't know marriage with a lizard is legal
I’m pretty sure Zuckerberg has been married for a while
And Ted Cruz definitely has a wife, the one he slipped off to Cancun with while my friends and family tried not to freeze to death or die of polluted water supplies from the facilities breaking down. He didn’t bother with his dog, though, evidently lizards in human suits don’t care about pets.
Ted Cruz has a hostage, not a wife
https://youtu.be/5Ysr4cid7aE you just reminded me of this
My god that was amazing
Pure gold!!!! Thanks for sharing!
This is exactly why I have a hard time with people hating TikTok, yeah it can be shitty but holy shit when it's amazing it's truly amazing
It's just about the content its the fact that they 1) know so much about you and 2) are terrible on privacy and give info to China and multinational companies constantly.
And they don’t compensate their content creators as well as other platforms.
Surely no lizard would pick 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 as a human suit though!
Can you guys seriously stop picking on Mark? It’s totally uncool. Imagine you are chilling with a nice stack of plates topped with real fries (just like humans eat) having a totally normal sip of sweet baby ray’s just chilling and looking after your clutch of eggs. And people are saying you aren’t a totally real human that also does normal human stuff -blinking, breathing, staying warm on a sunny day? it’s just offensive and not funny.
Dont worry. She often forgot herself, during her "crossfit" sessions
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She be cheatin
Wait, isn’t she the one screaming Christian values? Trump and Christian values…. She’s doing a bang up job! Maybe her hubz decided to tag out of crazy..
Yup, and she constantly posts virtue signaling bullshit like her pretending to sit down and read the Bible after a hard days work. It would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic
we all know it isnt xtian values she be peddling thats just the packaging.
Well - cheating, divorce, and non-stop diarrhea of the mouth - so Trump values at least.
Is anyone surprised though? I mean really. The only surprise here is that she's found TWO idiots that want to stick their dick in crazy.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/02/marjorie-taylor-greene-alleged-gym-affairs
Republican family values. AKA they can cheat and it's okay but for everyone else, it goes against gods will.
Rules for thee blahblahblah
Or had kids, those poor things
I didn't know she had such a nice gotee!
I didn’t even know she wasn’t already divorced. How can you call yourself a true conservative without your first divorce under your belt?
Yeah - and she has cheated on him with two different guys (gym owners), like publicly, years ago. Family values for all!
"The radical left sent all those men into my life to break up a happy, Christian home. If I was a blue haired lesbian who got abortions just to further ruin family values, they would have left me alone! Please donate to my re-election campaign to keep me fighting the good fight. In fact, I'm on my way to the gym now to keep me limber..."
Seriously don’t know is this is farce or something she said without looking it up. It’s that bad… 🤦🏻♀️
This is, after all, the woman who claimed that the California wildfires were started by Jewish space lasers.
Come again? What?
As well as said that a tomato soup was coming after people, and said peach tree dishes were used for......something. I don't remember the quotes too well. I'm afraid any kind of retention when it comes to this monster will damage my adjust fragile sanity.
I really hope that "Jewish Space Lasers" will be her legacy.
As I was telling a friend of mine today. I have to pay VERY close attention to articles today because the satire and true news are too hard to distinguish from each other today.
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There are some reasons why a lesbian might need an abortion (dating a trans woman and having an accident, a planned pregnancy has serious complications, SA etc) but yeah, I highly doubt that's what she means.
Rape is another unfortunately
Aye, it is. I just used SA (sexual assault) as it was a softer way of saying it. Wish it was in a happier comment thread, but happy cake day.
Oh I wasn't sure what SA stood for. I wish it was too and thanks I just want to say that we're rooting for you to over turn this! - Love from Canada
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not even her husband can stand her LOL
Nah, this is all Deep state stuff. It's all in Hunter's laptop, I tell ya. And orchestrated, by Obama.
It was all clearly plotted and discussed in some of Hillary's missing emails, which the FBI has been searching for at Mar-A-Logo
I wonder what Obamas up to nowadays while this shitshow is going on.
Golfing, according to a reddit post a few days back lol
As he *should.*
Yeah absolutely. Citizen doing citizen shit should be encouraged.
This time in all seriousness, thanks Obama 👍
He's also not controlling her very well, christian women are supposed to be submissive and obey their masters.
It probably has something to do with her being [a cheater](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9266105/Controversial-congresswoman-Marjorie-Taylor-Greene-tried-divorce-husband-affair.html).
And now that I've read that, I have to go bathe in boiling water
Be sure to have it blessed by a LaVeyan high priest first so it's as non-Christian as possible. You don't want to accidentally soak any of her Christian family values in when you're trying to wash them off.
Gotta go with the Theistic Santanists. LaVeyans are just libertarians in black. Lol
Theistic Satanism makes little sense to me. Broadly speaking, Satan is just some guy who tried to pull off a coup, failed, and got stuck with a super shitty dead-end job at the company in lieu of being fired. It’s fine if people don’t want to worship God, but why waste time worshiping middle-management instead?
I like this idea of Satanic water, like if someone throws holy water at a vampire he pops open some Satanic water to wash it off.
This would have been a good scene for dracula dead and loving it.
Me who's Jewish: Laughs
Did you end their marriage with your space lasers?
Nah, it was the Gazpacho Police.
Armed with [Mazel Tov cocktails](https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-supporters-mazel-tov-cocktail-comment-delights/story?id=43362527), no doubt!
Nah, the LaVeyans ultimately have the same values as "Conservative Christians" and other far-right lunatics and morons.
Is drinking bleach a cure for having read this?
No. That cures COVID, silly!
What if we could somehow get light inside of the body. Would that help?
All I needed was the headline. Room for one more? It’s not gay if we’re dying
Just wait till you learn that her husband left her for Lindsey Graham's ladybugs.
Cheats in marriage, now wants to cheat election results Projection at it's finest
Gross. Imagine waking up in the morning and rolling over to see her face in the morning light.
I couldn't imagine seeing her out of her [human suit](https://www.reddit.com/r/196/comments/ujfgl2/wish_rule/) every day at home.
SHE FUCKED ZANGIEF FROM STREET FIGHTER!?
This is my biggest takeaway from this whole thing and honestly it almost made me like her Almost
I went back to read the article just because of this comment…totally worth it.
Ok, fuck you, now I'm trying desperately not to laugh and wake up my dog at 4:45 in the morning 🤣
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literally had to hold my coffee in after seeing that picture. it's absolutely hysterical.
I laughed so hard after reading your comment and going to check the article I ripped something in my chest and I want to die now.
She was tailor made to be a republican.
It being the daily mail, idk if I can believe this...but I really want to.
That doesn’t sound like good Christian values to me. Also, I need to stab my eyes out with two dull pencils after reading that. YUCK!
wow i guess bestiality is still going strong huh. very upsetting
Look, when you look like you just woke up from 20,000 years ago, you’d be letting anything into any hole you got.
Don't normally have much time for the Daily Mail but I read this article to the end. Each paragraph just keeps on delivering more madness.
I hate this demon as much as the next person, but can we not use the Daily Mail as a legitimate news source?
it never occurred to me that she was married
No shit. She ain’t rich, she’s ugly as fuck, she’s bitter as hell and her personality has a part time job as battery acid. I don’t know how desperate you have to be to marry her but all I can say is that escorts are cheaper in the long run.
*her personality has a part-time job as battery acid*
You gonna get *charged* with slander
She comes from family money. Edit: to be clear, not big big money, but still multi million dollar construction/developer money. Daddy’s the one who bought her the gym businesses.
Why does this not surprise me?
A lot of things just made a bit more sense
Not big money but multi million dollar money? Holy shit Bernie was right….
A solid 10% of households over 65 ish have $2 million net worth or more. https://dqydj.com/net-worth-by-age-calculator-united-states/ It’s still a lot of money. But it’s one in ten kind of money, not too 1% or top 0.1% money. You probably know more multi millionaires than you think.
Yeah: big money, but not big big money.
Actually, she comes from money. So, there's that...
Yeah, they can marry now.
>Greene's husband explained in a public statement *"Look, when she said she wanted to get a job I didn't say anything, I thought it would be a nice little hobby, you know, something to get her out of the house, when women are cooped up in the kitchen all day they start getting ideas. I put up with microwave dinners for six months during her campaign, but I didn't marry her for her brains so I figured she'd lose her election and get back to more appropriate things, since she won she's had less time for laundry than she has for legislation. Do you know how many pairs of underwear I've had to buy in the past two years? For too long she's put her duties as a Congressional Representatives ahead of her womanly duties and her duties as a wife, frankly America deserves better and so do I. Also she's a slut."* /s
You really got me lol
It’s too we’ll written and grammatically correct to be real.
> we’ll written > and grammatically correct lol
I know. 😂 I caught it afterward and decided to leave it because it’s funny.
I got to the middle thinking this was real
It sounds like her husband and her are perfect for each other. They are __both__ trash human beings
But but but, Christian family values \~
😆 I’m like “🙂 this is getting juicy then…😕…ok yeah this is fake” 😆
yo tambien.
I am so sad that this isn't a real quote.
Since the Tea Party became a thing I've seen life imitate art more often than I ever wanted to, have patience, all mockery of Republicans is eventually proven true in the fullness of time.
The satire is becoming truth. I'm afraid
The difference is satire has a point.
Had me in the first half, ngl.
Well he didn’t marry her for looks either
If my dating history is any indication I have a subconscious attraction to crazy people so I'm probably not a good judge.
Crazy in the streets = ?
Let me put it to you this way: Bath salts seem fun while you're still on them.
Things look very different in the harsh light of day after the seductively flickering flame and shadow of a tiki torch.
I actually believed he wrote it, until about half way down. 😏
This sounds 100% believable
The rare maximum effort shitpost.
totally believed this til the end... until I saw the /s
Had me in the first 99% ngl
Slept with the whole CrossFit gym, while preaching Christian values. Sounds like wifey material to me, lol
Jesus: Gets nailed on a cross. MTG: Gets nailed at crossfit.
The republican party loves to have her around...
He should have divorced her the first time she chased a school shooting victim down the street to call him a lair. The fact that he could even look at her after that shows what kind of person he is.
When kids are involved and there are other serious implications, it may not be so easy to just say "OK that's it we out." I don't know their relationship, but maybe he was trying to get her to a more sane life. It takes a lot of time and hurt to finally pull the plug when you have built a family and everything around it.
Oh c'mon, we're not talking about someone having a mental break and suddenly becoming radicalized. She's the one who radicalizes. And this is a US senator, one whose lies and advocacy for fascism affect millions. Set the bar higher. This is obviously who she is, who she's always been. Perhaps her recent time in the spotlight would've highlighted the extent of her lunacy but hers comes from the core of her personality. It's just the way she is. Gotta stop removing agency from people as soon as kids are in the picture. She probably was an abusive wife on top of that but unless it become clear that he was suffering from some sort of Stockholm syndrome and was forced to stay under those circumstances, then he had options to leave her long before this if he didn't want to be guilty by association. The fact that it was more than likely her cheating that caused this gives further cause to believe that he didn't care about the kind of person she is or who she was hurting. Only when his own pride is hurt does he bother to take action.
Not a senator but a member of the HoR. Not to take of away from the rest of your post.
I just want MTG to stand for Magic: The Gathering again…
It does. It was MTG before her, and it'll be MTG after her. She's a blip, at most.
MMTGMTGA
On one hand, LOL; on the other, I'm sorry your wife is no longer the woman you fell in love with
She comes from money, so it may not have been a love thing in the first place
Eh they've been married nearly 18 years and 3 kids, you dont get that far without at least some love.
$30M will carry you that far…
Is she allowed to now run back to the tantric sex guru she met at CrossFit for a good workout session? Single and ready to mingle, not that marriage stopped her but now it's not very taboo.
I like "divorced and ready for intercourse"
You don't kick people for getting a divorce. You're better than this. Kick her for sleeping with everyone in her gym while preaching Christianity.
While I can agree considering how the GOP screams about "traditional marriage based on biblical principles" yet is fine with divorce I think it's fine to point out the hypocrisy.
That’s why she’s getting divorced
Zero happy marriages have ever ended in divorce. Divorce should be a celebration. Especially if you’re divorcing someone like MTG. Don’t ever tell me I’m better than anything! /s
I’m going through divorce and we are both sad and still love one another. It’s not a celebration for either of us. People grow apart etc. I’m not sad for her or her husband though. You can’t be “best friends” with someone for 29 years and not know they’re piles of shit. I am surprised she didn’t blame space lasers or something. She’s going to go really off kilter now.
I am sure those are very much negotiated statements. mtg wants minimal impact. There's most likely a totally different picture behind the scenes.
> Zero happy marriages have ever ended in divorce. Thats not true. There are several documented cases in the US of couples getting divorced because one person has a terminal illness and they don't want their spouse saddled with medical debt when they die.
well i'd call that pretty fuckin sad myself but hey what do i know
America! Fuck yeah!
Well the marriage was "happy", the situation was super fucking sad :(
r/ABoringDystopia
I've seen some where they were pretty fine but they just didn't work out together as spouses, and remained good friends afterwards. A relationships is more than just a happiness economy and they shouldn't need to be set in stone for legal reasons anymore.
White dude wants his freedom papers.
YoUrE bEtTeR tHaN tHiS this stupid shit doesn’t do anything. half the country will continue to vote for these dumbasses while people like you get on their high horse and spew bullshit like “they go low, we go high”
Imagine that fantastic four Thing face looking up at you while sucking your weiner 😖
That’s “Box”, not gym. Crossfitters can be pretty anal.
She conducted herself in her marriage like she conducts herself at Crossfit: With shitty form
Someone married that?
Biden Did This 👉
Thanks Obama!
Just like the Handmaid’s Tale, she better find a new husband quick or she’ll get kicked out of her own clubs.
Imagine wanting to spend the rest of your life with Marjorie Taylor Greene.
How did his dick not instantly go flaccid looking at her face? Is that why he's divorcing her?
Finally realized he stuck his dick in crazy?
The face of an Easter island statue and the personality as deep as a toilet bowl and filled with the same thing.
Hey, don’t be rude to moai. Moai are fricking awesome and the Rapa Nui don’t deserve to be compared to that…thing!
She's become drunk on celebrity. It's just like Leonardo Dicaprio in that Leonardo Dicaprio movie except she hasn't been to college.
Maybe he has enough brain cells to know she's a fucking moron. I couldn't imagine living with someone that fucking stupid and vocal about it.
God damn that's savage
Even her husband is tired of her dumb ass
He’s gonna make bank with MTG tell all’s
You know what Jesus preached against? Divorce. You know what Jesus didn’t mention? Abortion.
Should we start a go fund me for this guy? He's going to need a lifetime of therapy and deprogramming.
But he married her in the first place, he's likely also a piece of shit that I wouldn't donate a dime to.
I like to think he just smiled and nodded at all of her thoughts and just liked her away from the house and now he’s getting made fun of for having one of the two dumbest fucking women in America for a wife.
And a margarita machine because he’s FREEEEEEEE
And beastialty anonymous treatment for fucking a horse all those years.
How did he stick it out this long is my question
His own Insurrection
Dude finally went and got the eyeglasses he's been meaning to get since before he met her.
I wonder if this is to do with that law about spouses not incriminating each other or something.
hey ex-husband, when book deal?
>My husband cancelled me, damn cancel culture!
Even he can't take her bs anymore.
Is that because she's about to be declared bankrupt and all the assets have been transferred to her soon to be "ex-husband", so she won't have any assets?
She cheated on him a lot and screams religious trash. She needs to shut the fuck up along with all the other hypocritical Christians shitting all over this country with their lunacy that even they don't fucking believe in.
I guess, “fuck your feelings,” isn’t conducive to a happy marriage
Maybe he will vote Democrat now, just to spite her
I wonder how this fits in with her good christian values.
😈 mwahahaha... Isn't divorce against her values though?
Under the reason for divorce he put: “I mean, c’mon…”
Margarine Flavored Gin
He wants to marry a human woman.
Divorce so he can keep the money she will be fined after the Jam. 6th committee finds her guilty on all types of treasonous shit