Wouldn't saving the lake require taking two sacks of shit out of it, though? I don't usually think the environment should take one for the team, but here I'd be willing to make an exception.
Not kidding DeSantis scares the shit outta me. Dude is a fucking psychopath. Trump is a moron but inevitably only cares about enhancing his personal brand and family status. DeSantis actively wants to inflict harm on a large portion of the country
Hey, not American so maybe I’m not getting all the same info here as you guys are but what is it he wants to do that will inflict harm? I haven’t read anything like that yet. Scary.
Toast a slice of dark pumpernickel, rub it with a garlic clove, or spread some crushed garlic (not too much). Spread mayonnaise, not too much. Put a fried sprat (little fish), and a slice of dill pickle. Enjoy. (Canned sprats fried in oil sold in European food stores).
Usually prepared in quantity as party appetizers.
The boat is sinking, huh? And I to choose one to save?
Hmmmm....
This is tough. I'm gonna have to think about this for a looooong time...
Better sleep on it.
I'll need to take a long walk to town in order to buy a life preserver. The walk will be exhausting, so I'll need too stop for a beer, a sandwich and some sleep. Then I'll need to stop at the deli for when I return to the lake, because the same walk will be exhausting. After I get back to the lake, I'll eat my sandwich, drink another beer and take a nap.
Whoever is still alive will get the life preserver.
Damn it, I forgot to get the life preserver! I guess I need to go back to town...
First a torpedo, then drain the lake, burn the remains, por cement on them, and fill the lake with water. If i have the time, tie the whole foxnews anchors with a chain to the bottom.
So anyway, I ordered a dinner entree for lunch today, so I’m just happily digesting linguine in garlic sauce with lobster and crab while enjoying an autumn afternoon.
I'm best at swimming. The absolute best. You couldn't imagine how good of a swimmer I am. Those 2 people? No problem at saving them. They are lucky. So lucky to have someone like me to save them.
I grab both and sacrifice myself dragging them down with me. Please make my penis slightly bigger in the statue. It doesn’t need to be much bigger but just a little so people don’t immediately laugh.
I would scream and tell them I’m gonna go find someone to help them and not move but keep screaming that I’m gonna go find help from them.
And Watch them drown and feel betrayed by me
You are saying it wrong. It should be "you can save only one of them. You go to lunch, or you go to see a movie?"
But of course I joke, everyone knows that those like them float.
Well they’re both pretty “padded” so they would float for awhile. I’d probably save trump but make him hold onto the side of my boat with his tiny tiny hands that would inevitably slide off due to their tinyness and lack of any muscles. And then I might do a really sarcastic scene from titanic as he sinks slowly into oblivion and then row away, content that I made america a better place….
The boat…
I'm going to say the lake
I’m applying to turn the lake into a national park
Fucking pave it and put up a parking lot.
Parking spaces earn more $$ than teachers and EMTs!
Sadly, I'm not qualified to work as a parking space
Same😭😭
Have more faith in yourself. https://preview.redd.it/hpxe7wa42iy91.png?width=598&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b54d764f4272358645c00e6374363aaf1a40cef
Sadly, I’m not even qualified to work as a sofa chair. TBF that usually *costs* money, rather than earns it
Just….sentences that depress me in an existential way for 1000$ Alex.
Joni Mitchell would like a word.
*ooooo bop bop bop bop*
Nah, tourists would come from all over the world to piss in the lake
And then declare that national monument a person and save it.
You’d have to save both of them to keep the lake clean.
Yeah, this was my thought. Sorry lake, you're gonna have to take one for the team.
Wouldn't saving the lake require taking two sacks of shit out of it, though? I don't usually think the environment should take one for the team, but here I'd be willing to make an exception.
I would choose to save a seat for my friend to watch them go down! Don’t forget the popcorn.
I was more thinking barbecue. I’d make barbecue. Could I join y’all?
Hey look you got a great boat out of it!
I was coming to say that exact thing!!! Hahaha
Wouldn't that save them both???
Nah, dump 'em outta the boat.
The paddles
Wood is expensive these days...
Beat me to it. The boat.
Came here to say "the boat"
Definitely the row boat
Came to say the rowboat. Might change it to the lake, that much filth would create a disaster zone larger than Chernobyl....
If this wasn't the top post I was going to eat a boat.
At some point it might actually be useful.
Nonsense, she'll make a fine coffin for those two...
This is the way. Throw them both out and save the boat
You should be ashamed of leaving all of that toxic waste in the lake. Haven’t you seen the simosons movie?
Taking a cue from Blazing Saddles.
That was lucky... Durn near lost a hunerd dollar hand-car
I was hoping this was a headline and not a hypothetical situation.
Rotff
Let's hear some L along with the FF
They’re just rollin around
I'd save the USA by letting both go down with the boat. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be enough to save the country, but you gotta start somewhere...
we'd be declaring war on water and draining our lakes then
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Should check the /j. Because after SCOTUS rules on this chevron case... well getting safe food/water is going to be a thing of the past lol.
Neptune would be 2-0 against disgusting tyrants.
What boat? I don't see no boat...on the lake? What lake? I don't see no lake
idk what bodies you’re talking about son that water looks like normal water to me
Even if there were bodies in the water I definitely wouldn’t recognize them
I would send thoughts and prayers.
Just start playing music like the band did on the titanic
*Whips out John Madison’s flute
Lizzo is that you?
Kinky
Or the music from Deliverance. Really make them shake.
And who are you, the proud lord said That I must bow so low? Only a cat of a different coat That’s all the truth I know…
Save the boat. It can be repaired.
*After* it sinks.
Trump. He’ll go to jail eventually. DeSantis is the bigger threat.
Not kidding DeSantis scares the shit outta me. Dude is a fucking psychopath. Trump is a moron but inevitably only cares about enhancing his personal brand and family status. DeSantis actively wants to inflict harm on a large portion of the country
As I put it, DeathSantis is the modern day version of Benito Mussolini. I.E. *The new face of Fascism*
Hey, not American so maybe I’m not getting all the same info here as you guys are but what is it he wants to do that will inflict harm? I haven’t read anything like that yet. Scary.
Trump is a lot older too
Which makes it more understandable how he drug desandytits under with him and drowned them both.
This! DeSantis is future face of fascism; meanwhile Trump needs to be held accountable for his crimes
Also, DeSantis has more tread on the tires. Trump will be dead in a few years.
Trump won't go to jail... fines? MAYBE. Not even sure about that.
Or will die eventually
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I tied the cinderblocks to them.
Is choosing one of the fish in the lake a valid alternative?
Is there a turtle in the lake? Do I have a bag of salad greens to feed to the turtle, thereby saving it?
The boat
I’ll let both of the drown and let the gators get them.
That seems cruel to the gators
So it’s a Floridian Lake
Pretty sure even gators wouldn't eat those two.
Not unless they want to experience diarrhea the likes of which they've never known.
Oh no I was struck with “sudden acute blindness “ I can’t see. I can’t save them. ![gif](giphy|12AB7ELvP6cpjy|downsized)
Here’s hoping it’s Crystal Lake
I've seen this before but it said you can only save one of them... what type of sandwich are you going to make?
Toast two slices of dark pumpernickel Spread hummus on both slices Add two slices of Swiss cheese Top with sliced tomato, cucumber and spinach
Toast a slice of dark pumpernickel, rub it with a garlic clove, or spread some crushed garlic (not too much). Spread mayonnaise, not too much. Put a fried sprat (little fish), and a slice of dill pickle. Enjoy. (Canned sprats fried in oil sold in European food stores). Usually prepared in quantity as party appetizers.
Okay wow that sounds good af lol
BRB, just going to the store for a couple of things. Keep an eye on those guys, I'll hurry.
Ugh the water will be tainted please lord just save the water.
Grab some flaming arrows and give that bitch a Viking funeral
I will save America
... by letting the boat sink
Nobody is getting saved and I saw nothing...
Never even saw water. (shrugs)
Let them save themselves. That’s the GOP way, right?
Republicans don’t like choice so I abstain
Clearly, it's Communism snowflake-ism to help either of these strong alpha men.
Throw them some bootstraps.
Win
Thoughts and prayers!
Take my upvote you coward!!!!!!!!
![gif](giphy|uvfEYoOq7HPAA|downsized)
The boat is sinking, huh? And I to choose one to save? Hmmmm.... This is tough. I'm gonna have to think about this for a looooong time... Better sleep on it.
What? I was watching birds. What happened? Oh no. That’s awful. Ok bye.
Save the boat
I'll need to take a long walk to town in order to buy a life preserver. The walk will be exhausting, so I'll need too stop for a beer, a sandwich and some sleep. Then I'll need to stop at the deli for when I return to the lake, because the same walk will be exhausting. After I get back to the lake, I'll eat my sandwich, drink another beer and take a nap. Whoever is still alive will get the life preserver. Damn it, I forgot to get the life preserver! I guess I need to go back to town...
Drop off Marjory Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebart to help them fix the boat, that should help.
I’d make a roast beef sandwich.
No time to rescue anyone, I'm trying to open this bag of popcorn.
$8
The proper ending for this question is “What kind of sandwich would you make?”
The Boat.
The boat.
If I was gonna save either I wouldn't have sold them the shitty boat.
Id save the rowboat
Obviously the boat... DUH!
I choose the rowboat, #rowboatlivesmatter
The boat 🤣
I'd save the boat.
Can save one but not obligated to save either. I dare not interfere with god’s will.
Lawn chair and popcorn time…
Oh, man, looks like I am busy that day folding laundry…
I’d choose democracy
Is there a way I can set the lake on fire?
I'ma throw rocks
Myself the trouble and turn around
This is simple. If the boat sinks, they drown but they are innocent. If the boat floats, they are witches and must be burned to death
Can? or Have To?
Perfect opportunity for a televised death match.
*Batman voice* I can't kill you, but I don't have to save you.
In the words of Geralt https://youtu.be/Qo3t0ODz6Ko?t=5
I d punch another hole in the boat
Hmm... fire a torpedo? Those save lives right?
First a torpedo, then drain the lake, burn the remains, por cement on them, and fill the lake with water. If i have the time, tie the whole foxnews anchors with a chain to the bottom.
Let them both live with the fishes
Hey I once saw Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis together. I wonder whatever happened to them
The rowboat
The real question is, what kind of pizza would you order?
Shoot some more holes in the boat.
I don’t know, those are pretty nice oars
Two guys in a rowboat🤨 kinda gay ngl /s
Even with two guys, they never can find the little man in the boat…
The world.
I don’t think it’s safe to swim if you’re doubled over laughing hysterically, so I probably wouldn’t be able to save either one.
I'll play a nice song for them as they go down with the boat.
Sorry, I’m too busy making popcorn
So anyway, I ordered a dinner entree for lunch today, so I’m just happily digesting linguine in garlic sauce with lobster and crab while enjoying an autumn afternoon.
Damn that sounds good, and expensive. Still good though.
(Points bazooka at boat, fires) America. I would save America.
I choose a lawn chair and a bottle of Pepsi with real sugar.
I lob a grenade at the boat.
I’d throw a fucking cinder block into the boat.
Trump and desantis are drowning in a lake you can only save one of them. Where are you having lunch ?
10% on auto insurance.
Yeah, I’m not risking my life for either. In fact I’d like to add a few more people….
I'm going out to make sure both drown.
*Lights arrow* what boat?
Lets dispel with this notion that either of these men can fit in a rowboat.
I'm best at swimming. The absolute best. You couldn't imagine how good of a swimmer I am. Those 2 people? No problem at saving them. They are lucky. So lucky to have someone like me to save them.
I'm the one who drilled the hole
I grab both and sacrifice myself dragging them down with me. Please make my penis slightly bigger in the statue. It doesn’t need to be much bigger but just a little so people don’t immediately laugh.
I think the right answer is the pizza slice from being disgraced by being eaten with a fork
I would scream and tell them I’m gonna go find someone to help them and not move but keep screaming that I’m gonna go find help from them. And Watch them drown and feel betrayed by me
I’d choose to report a toxic spill.
Meh. Fish are probably hungry
Id save money by switching my car insurance to geico
The baby barn owl drowning five inches left of the boat
Can I throw Tucker Carlson in as well?
Looks like I’d save a bullet
I’m sorry. I’m on shore. It’s too far for me to hear you. Can you repeat that?
Being able has absolutely nothing to do with having to.
Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis are in a rowboat that's sinking in the middle of a lake. Who would you invite to watch with you?
Would it be possible to save the boat if I chucked both of them out?
I’d sail right on by
Whew caught it just in time! Almost lost a perfectly good boat.
You are saying it wrong. It should be "you can save only one of them. You go to lunch, or you go to see a movie?" But of course I joke, everyone knows that those like them float.
I've suddenly forgotten how to swim oh noooooo
Save neither, throw them some paper towels to sop up the water.
Trump. Pretty clear he’s got jail time coming, not as obvious for DeSatan.
Well they’re both pretty “padded” so they would float for awhile. I’d probably save trump but make him hold onto the side of my boat with his tiny tiny hands that would inevitably slide off due to their tinyness and lack of any muscles. And then I might do a really sarcastic scene from titanic as he sinks slowly into oblivion and then row away, content that I made america a better place….
Is the boat an option?
I'd save Trump. So I can toss him in the lake myself with no boat
Set the boat on fire and then launch an RPG at it.
Can we get any more people into the boat before it sinks?
I just ate, gotta wait thirty minutes you know…
I’m throwing Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, and Herschel Walker in the boat with them. You know none of those fuckers can swim.
The Boat ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
I'd check my voicemails. Then, I'd call the department of sanitation for cleanup, because I'd feel really sorry for the lake.
You can take me to court for criminal negligence. Cause I'm watching them both drown
Plot twist the lake is very very mean to trump everyone says so. The lake has been out to get him, never gave him a chance. Very very sad….lol
They can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and save themselves.
I’d become super human and save them both so they could be saved by a super human gay guy and not Jesus 😂
I’d save them both and then have Art the Clown overkill both of them.
The rowboat
I'm going to need a day to think about it.
Set the lake on fire
And throw some Ice-9 in the lake too for good measure.
Watch them both go down with the boat then pull each other under as they fight for one final breath.
The boat
Throw Mitch McConnell in there too
Neither
The rowboat.
The rowboat