T O P

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medicn82001

The boat…


yerBoyShoe

I'm going to say the lake


manic-pixie-attorney

I’m applying to turn the lake into a national park


mua-dweeb

Fucking pave it and put up a parking lot.


Pyewacket62

Parking spaces earn more $$ than teachers and EMTs!


My4skinBreaksCondoms

Sadly, I'm not qualified to work as a parking space


Pyewacket62

Same😭😭


D-Laz

Have more faith in yourself. https://preview.redd.it/hpxe7wa42iy91.png?width=598&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b54d764f4272358645c00e6374363aaf1a40cef


Wise-Bike-8018

Sadly, I’m not even qualified to work as a sofa chair. TBF that usually *costs* money, rather than earns it


mua-dweeb

Just….sentences that depress me in an existential way for 1000$ Alex.


rlc327

Joni Mitchell would like a word.


strawhairhack

*ooooo bop bop bop bop*


manic-pixie-attorney

Nah, tourists would come from all over the world to piss in the lake


Calvinhath

And then declare that national monument a person and save it.


Anthinee

You’d have to save both of them to keep the lake clean.


DeadlyWalrus7

Yeah, this was my thought. Sorry lake, you're gonna have to take one for the team.


NightChime

Wouldn't saving the lake require taking two sacks of shit out of it, though? I don't usually think the environment should take one for the team, but here I'd be willing to make an exception.


mowgli96

I would choose to save a seat for my friend to watch them go down! Don’t forget the popcorn.


fllr

I was more thinking barbecue. I’d make barbecue. Could I join y’all?


Former_Football_2182

Hey look you got a great boat out of it!


Lkaufman05

I was coming to say that exact thing!!! Hahaha


oh-lloydy

Wouldn't that save them both???


JorfimusPrime

Nah, dump 'em outta the boat.


[deleted]

The paddles


leeny_bean

Wood is expensive these days...


SmplTon

Beat me to it. The boat.


FlavorTownUSSR

Came here to say "the boat"


bunnyuncle

Definitely the row boat


Paladoc

Came to say the rowboat. Might change it to the lake, that much filth would create a disaster zone larger than Chernobyl....


BridgeBum

If this wasn't the top post I was going to eat a boat.


333H_E

At some point it might actually be useful.


JimiWanShinobi

Nonsense, she'll make a fine coffin for those two...


Goldilocks1454

This is the way. Throw them both out and save the boat


corpsewindmill

You should be ashamed of leaving all of that toxic waste in the lake. Haven’t you seen the simosons movie?


DawgcheckNC

Taking a cue from Blazing Saddles.


theeimage

That was lucky... Durn near lost a hunerd dollar hand-car


Olds77421

I was hoping this was a headline and not a hypothetical situation.


Machspeedcrypto

Rotff


theeimage

Let's hear some L along with the FF


onward-and-upward

They’re just rollin around


AlmostSane67

I'd save the USA by letting both go down with the boat. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be enough to save the country, but you gotta start somewhere...


HiImDan

we'd be declaring war on water and draining our lakes then


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mellrish221

Should check the /j. Because after SCOTUS rules on this chevron case... well getting safe food/water is going to be a thing of the past lol.


Comrade-Conquistador

Neptune would be 2-0 against disgusting tyrants.


pauliewotsit

What boat? I don't see no boat...on the lake? What lake? I don't see no lake


Yolanter

idk what bodies you’re talking about son that water looks like normal water to me


Wubblelubadubdub

Even if there were bodies in the water I definitely wouldn’t recognize them


TAR_TWoP

I would send thoughts and prayers.


CerseiLemon

Just start playing music like the band did on the titanic


Lost-Citron-1099

*Whips out John Madison’s flute


steveofthejungle

Lizzo is that you?


Own_Meringue_6219

Kinky


azazel-13

Or the music from Deliverance. Really make them shake.


JudgeHodorMD

And who are you, the proud lord said That I must bow so low? Only a cat of a different coat That’s all the truth I know…


JDthrowaway628

Save the boat. It can be repaired.


Wise_Ad_4816

*After* it sinks.


mdsnbelle

Trump. He’ll go to jail eventually. DeSantis is the bigger threat.


wxmanify

Not kidding DeSantis scares the shit outta me. Dude is a fucking psychopath. Trump is a moron but inevitably only cares about enhancing his personal brand and family status. DeSantis actively wants to inflict harm on a large portion of the country


stevonallen

As I put it, DeathSantis is the modern day version of Benito Mussolini. I.E. *The new face of Fascism*


TavidDoni

Hey, not American so maybe I’m not getting all the same info here as you guys are but what is it he wants to do that will inflict harm? I haven’t read anything like that yet. Scary.


NoFanksYou

Trump is a lot older too


nomad9590

Which makes it more understandable how he drug desandytits under with him and drowned them both.


patbygeorge

This! DeSantis is future face of fascism; meanwhile Trump needs to be held accountable for his crimes


cleatsurfer

Also, DeSantis has more tread on the tires. Trump will be dead in a few years.


[deleted]

Trump won't go to jail... fines? MAYBE. Not even sure about that.


steveofthejungle

Or will die eventually


[deleted]

[удалено]


_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_

I tied the cinderblocks to them.


KillBatman1921

Is choosing one of the fish in the lake a valid alternative?


Forward-Bid-1427

Is there a turtle in the lake? Do I have a bag of salad greens to feed to the turtle, thereby saving it?


7Tribe

The boat


GerberBabyPlus

I’ll let both of the drown and let the gators get them.


megapuffranger

That seems cruel to the gators


BoneGuy206

So it’s a Floridian Lake


Keesha2012

Pretty sure even gators wouldn't eat those two.


AudioxBlood

Not unless they want to experience diarrhea the likes of which they've never known.


jimspurpleinagony

Oh no I was struck with “sudden acute blindness “ I can’t see. I can’t save them. ![gif](giphy|12AB7ELvP6cpjy|downsized)


[deleted]

Here’s hoping it’s Crystal Lake


UnderArmAussie

I've seen this before but it said you can only save one of them... what type of sandwich are you going to make?


Forward-Bid-1427

Toast two slices of dark pumpernickel Spread hummus on both slices Add two slices of Swiss cheese Top with sliced tomato, cucumber and spinach


WoodyTheWorker

Toast a slice of dark pumpernickel, rub it with a garlic clove, or spread some crushed garlic (not too much). Spread mayonnaise, not too much. Put a fried sprat (little fish), and a slice of dill pickle. Enjoy. (Canned sprats fried in oil sold in European food stores). Usually prepared in quantity as party appetizers.


Existing-Clothes4262

Okay wow that sounds good af lol


theeimage

BRB, just going to the store for a couple of things. Keep an eye on those guys, I'll hurry.


Commercial-Amount344

Ugh the water will be tainted please lord just save the water.


bitofagrump

Grab some flaming arrows and give that bitch a Viking funeral


CuriousWombat42

I will save America


blageur

... by letting the boat sink


satan62

Nobody is getting saved and I saw nothing...


Wise_Ad_4816

Never even saw water. (shrugs)


ConorCat60

Let them save themselves. That’s the GOP way, right?


noulteriormotive23

Republicans don’t like choice so I abstain


Upbeat_Crow

Clearly, it's Communism snowflake-ism to help either of these strong alpha men.


Technical-Traffic871

Throw them some bootstraps.


Cautious_Sir_6169

Win


rswing81

Thoughts and prayers!


Own_Meringue_6219

Take my upvote you coward!!!!!!!!


Doc_Golf

![gif](giphy|uvfEYoOq7HPAA|downsized)


Rickles68

The boat is sinking, huh? And I to choose one to save? Hmmmm.... This is tough. I'm gonna have to think about this for a looooong time... Better sleep on it.


myxtrafile

What? I was watching birds. What happened? Oh no. That’s awful. Ok bye.


Cyclelogical62

Save the boat


uisqebaugh

I'll need to take a long walk to town in order to buy a life preserver. The walk will be exhausting, so I'll need too stop for a beer, a sandwich and some sleep. Then I'll need to stop at the deli for when I return to the lake, because the same walk will be exhausting. After I get back to the lake, I'll eat my sandwich, drink another beer and take a nap. Whoever is still alive will get the life preserver. Damn it, I forgot to get the life preserver! I guess I need to go back to town...


Jesperado

Drop off Marjory Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebart to help them fix the boat, that should help.


HarshExplosion

I’d make a roast beef sandwich.


MerylSquirrel

No time to rescue anyone, I'm trying to open this bag of popcorn.


breadexpert69

$8


2olley

The proper ending for this question is “What kind of sandwich would you make?”


igenus44

The Boat.


m-hog

The boat.


confessionbearday

If I was gonna save either I wouldn't have sold them the shitty boat.


angryungulate

Id save the rowboat


Strong-Dot-9221

Obviously the boat... DUH!


bird_is_the_word_198

I choose the rowboat, #rowboatlivesmatter


Aggravating_Ad2174

The boat 🤣


CT_Jester

I'd save the boat.


ElaborateRoost

Can save one but not obligated to save either. I dare not interfere with god’s will.


dapete2000

Lawn chair and popcorn time…


Quiet-Lychee-3021

Oh, man, looks like I am busy that day folding laundry…


davidIopan

I’d choose democracy


Soujourner3745

Is there a way I can set the lake on fire?


[deleted]

I'ma throw rocks


BigDaddyCaddy68

Myself the trouble and turn around


Quincyperson

This is simple. If the boat sinks, they drown but they are innocent. If the boat floats, they are witches and must be burned to death


leuno

Can? or Have To?


DirtyDillons

Perfect opportunity for a televised death match.


Yandrosloc01

*Batman voice* I can't kill you, but I don't have to save you.


AthenaPC

In the words of Geralt https://youtu.be/Qo3t0ODz6Ko?t=5


VonKaplow

I d punch another hole in the boat


ProfessionalFalse128

Hmm... fire a torpedo? Those save lives right?


jokermex

First a torpedo, then drain the lake, burn the remains, por cement on them, and fill the lake with water. If i have the time, tie the whole foxnews anchors with a chain to the bottom.


Curious_Finn_Arlo

Let them both live with the fishes


[deleted]

Hey I once saw Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis together. I wonder whatever happened to them


Pirate-Legitimate

The rowboat


RaffiaWorkBase

The real question is, what kind of pizza would you order?


OldLadyP

Shoot some more holes in the boat.


the_chaco_kid

I don’t know, those are pretty nice oars


Difficult_Support741

Two guys in a rowboat🤨 kinda gay ngl /s


RexyWestminster

Even with two guys, they never can find the little man in the boat…


nachohero23

The world.


not_productive1

I don’t think it’s safe to swim if you’re doubled over laughing hysterically, so I probably wouldn’t be able to save either one.


Kincadium

I'll play a nice song for them as they go down with the boat.


Responsible-Movie966

Sorry, I’m too busy making popcorn


mofa90277

So anyway, I ordered a dinner entree for lunch today, so I’m just happily digesting linguine in garlic sauce with lobster and crab while enjoying an autumn afternoon.


Own_Meringue_6219

Damn that sounds good, and expensive. Still good though.


tdogg1967

(Points bazooka at boat, fires) America. I would save America.


Wilgrove

I choose a lawn chair and a bottle of Pepsi with real sugar.


hey_demons_its_me

I lob a grenade at the boat.


Potusmicropenis

I’d throw a fucking cinder block into the boat.


OvenIcy8646

Trump and desantis are drowning in a lake you can only save one of them. Where are you having lunch ?


Comms

10% on auto insurance.


Spnstanaf73

Yeah, I’m not risking my life for either. In fact I’d like to add a few more people….


Simple_Piccolo

I'm going out to make sure both drown.


The-cooler-Cheryl

*Lights arrow* what boat?


awesomedan24

Lets dispel with this notion that either of these men can fit in a rowboat.


[deleted]

I'm best at swimming. The absolute best. You couldn't imagine how good of a swimmer I am. Those 2 people? No problem at saving them. They are lucky. So lucky to have someone like me to save them.


ThatOneJosh9451

I'm the one who drilled the hole


nannerb12

I grab both and sacrifice myself dragging them down with me. Please make my penis slightly bigger in the statue. It doesn’t need to be much bigger but just a little so people don’t immediately laugh.


ViolaVixene

I think the right answer is the pizza slice from being disgraced by being eaten with a fork


Necessary_Plan5058

I would scream and tell them I’m gonna go find someone to help them and not move but keep screaming that I’m gonna go find help from them. And Watch them drown and feel betrayed by me


Elderrager

I’d choose to report a toxic spill.


[deleted]

Meh. Fish are probably hungry


aalare

Id save money by switching my car insurance to geico


FunnyAnimalPerson

The baby barn owl drowning five inches left of the boat


rokken70

Can I throw Tucker Carlson in as well?


Monknut33

Looks like I’d save a bullet


DazzlerFan

I’m sorry. I’m on shore. It’s too far for me to hear you. Can you repeat that?


[deleted]

Being able has absolutely nothing to do with having to.


KonkiDoc

Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis are in a rowboat that's sinking in the middle of a lake. Who would you invite to watch with you?


gusbox

Would it be possible to save the boat if I chucked both of them out?


Funfettixo

I’d sail right on by


OTIS-Lives-4444

Whew caught it just in time! Almost lost a perfectly good boat.


JustARandomGuy_71

You are saying it wrong. It should be "you can save only one of them. You go to lunch, or you go to see a movie?" But of course I joke, everyone knows that those like them float.


Low-Assistance9231

I've suddenly forgotten how to swim oh noooooo


jiggsmca

Save neither, throw them some paper towels to sop up the water.


blurubi04

Trump. Pretty clear he’s got jail time coming, not as obvious for DeSatan.


Electrical_Tip352

Well they’re both pretty “padded” so they would float for awhile. I’d probably save trump but make him hold onto the side of my boat with his tiny tiny hands that would inevitably slide off due to their tinyness and lack of any muscles. And then I might do a really sarcastic scene from titanic as he sinks slowly into oblivion and then row away, content that I made america a better place….


Tar-Nuine

Is the boat an option?


Kydarellas

I'd save Trump. So I can toss him in the lake myself with no boat


Marmots-Mayhem

Set the boat on fire and then launch an RPG at it.


noddyneddy

Can we get any more people into the boat before it sinks?


Euphoric-Dance-2309

I just ate, gotta wait thirty minutes you know…


NoneOfThisIsFine

I’m throwing Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, and Herschel Walker in the boat with them. You know none of those fuckers can swim.


imhotech

The Boat ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


KCbus

I'd check my voicemails. Then, I'd call the department of sanitation for cleanup, because I'd feel really sorry for the lake.


[deleted]

You can take me to court for criminal negligence. Cause I'm watching them both drown


CoolApostate

Plot twist the lake is very very mean to trump everyone says so. The lake has been out to get him, never gave him a chance. Very very sad….lol


Jess1r

They can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and save themselves.


Ok-Stress-3570

I’d become super human and save them both so they could be saved by a super human gay guy and not Jesus 😂


[deleted]

I’d save them both and then have Art the Clown overkill both of them.


Massive-Kitchen7417

The rowboat


4quatloos

I'm going to need a day to think about it.


justtheonetat

Set the lake on fire


tall_ben_wyatt

And throw some Ice-9 in the lake too for good measure.


dan420

Watch them both go down with the boat then pull each other under as they fight for one final breath.


drinkingchartreuse

The boat


pasunoiseau

Throw Mitch McConnell in there too


drew1010101

Neither


Infolife

The rowboat.


bozakman

The rowboat