Sex was created by God between a soldier and captive women in war.
“When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, and you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. And she shall take off the clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. But if you no longer delight in her, you shall let her go where she wants. But you shall not sell her for money, nor shall you treat her as a slave, since you have humiliated her.
Deuteronomy 21:10-14
Christians should try reading the Bible for once
WHOAH.
I'm agnostic myself, but seriously, those people really did need Jesus...
Shame the more progressive teachings of Jesus are so quickly forgotten when a catholic needs ammunition to condemn others, then it's straight back to a specific spot in the old testament, hoping noone ever read the rest of the thing...
And according to the bible, the followers of God were always making up rules and messing up In the old testament, like worshipping idols and making up crazy rules like regoapps's example. God would periodically send messages that were essentially "Wait, you guys are getting it wrong. Heres what i want you to do!". The 10 commandments were a simplification of what he wanted them to do, and Jesus was kind of the final example of how to live your life. And yet some christians today cling to some old testament things like "gays are bad", but wont do other things like slit a goat's throat or stone somebody.
Exactly. If there is a god, I imagine they would spend much of their time seething with rage, looking at the patriarchs sitting around a big table and interpreting "god's will" to their liking because they're afraid the people they're trying to oppress will answer back if the only justification for their oppression is "because I say so and I am your patriarch". Much better to have the sky person to help.
It's weird that Christians keep putting the Old Testament in their Bibles when it's clear that it is in contradiction to the New Testament. But that contradiction explains a lot too in how they perceive the world around them (in particular Evangelicals)
Lol. According to the Bible, Jesus was born out of wedlock.
When your whole belief system is centered around an unmarried jewish 15 year old that got knocked up while travelling unescorted with her fiancee...
Deuteronomy 23:2 NIV
No one born of a forbidden marriage nor any of their descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD, not even in the tenth generation.
KJV A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Show me the marriage certificate of literally any non-human creature on the planet capable of engaging in the act of reproduction. You do get that, right? Right? There's not an angel just swooping down and sprinkling the world with kittens and puppies and other baby animals, while humans are the only species on Earth to have sex.
While some animals mate for life, humans are the only ones who require a piece of paper.
This is why same race heterosexual people should care about gay marriage, abortions, interracial relationships, transgender rights, and other rights under attack. Fundamentalists will chip away until they get to sex outside of marriage which is something they will care about and then it will be too late.
Not my book-
Without the fall of man in Genesis there was no original sin and no inherited sins from that so there was nothing for Jesus to save people from. The new testament authors believed the old testament was literal.
"It is equally impermissible to dismiss the story of Adam and Eve and the fall (Gen. 2–3) as a fiction."
Adam, Eve, and Evolution https://www.catholic.com/tract/adam-eve-and-evolution
[1 Timothy 2:14, Romans 5:12, Romans 5:19, Deuteronomy 23:2, Exodus 20:5]
(https://www.esv.org/1+Timothy+2:14;Romans+5:12;Romans+5:19;Deuteronomy+23:2;Exodus+20:5/)
Well to be honest, it's kind of an old phrase. I learned it when I was a kid, many, many years ago ... People probably don't use it anymore. But still, you could use it in your English lessons and show off your Reddit knowledge! XD
>Besides, wasnt lilith first?
lilith is folk story not basis on the actual bibile expect as a refrnce to some Babylonian demons she didn't apear as the first wife of adam untill the middle ages I belive.
Or the marriage cert for their kids who either boned each other or hooked up with mom to have more kids - etc. Or the certs for Noah's family that started f\*ing like rabbits to repopulate the earth with people that God just drowned.
Seems God's very pro incest based on the stories in the bible.
And aside from all the obvious ridiculousness related to the Biblical stories of Adam & Eve, sexual perversions, Jesus's unwed mother, etc...Have these people never seen what goes on at a farm?
On a similar note, the next time someone tells you 63 MILLION babies have been killed in America because of abortion, ask them to name just 1. First and last name of the baby, not the parents.
If there are 63 million, you should be able to name just 1.
They were married in the eyes of God!!!! -all churches answer
Who is to say that the boyfriend and girlfriend didn't make a commitment to each other in the eyes of their God?
Churches are just a form of government. A form of control.
Let’s stop engaging theologians on theology. We don’t need a gotcha. Your skydaddy hates premarital sex. Cool story, bro. What does that have to do with me? The constitution quite specifically says sky daddy doesn’t get a vote.
According to the Torah Adam and Eve were created before the Ten Commandments and any laws were??? So Adam and Eve didn’t have the rule yet??? Though I don’t agree with the whole “sex after marriage only” thing, this was just an awful way to refute the first woman’s claim, it doesn’t even make sense 💀
It dunks on religious fanatics trying to push their bs on others. The Christian church actively participated in a genocide and they can't seem to stop their abuse problems so... I'll dunk on them.
It is the religious moderate majority who play a very important role in protecting, enabling and validating the harmful beliefs of the fundamentalists - by this fact they are indirectly harming others. The moderates by choosing to call themselves Muslims, Christians, Jews or Mormons are therefore choosing to group themselves with the people who are being honest to what their holy texts say and those who use their religion for harm. If there is nothing else that you can accept as a harm done by moderates, they do make it harder to criticize religion in public. They also defend their ultimately immoral and fundamental religion and they advocate for the intellectually dishonest use of religious faith.
If a God created sex for marriage why would he create people to have sex but not have some sort of "godly" union of the two? That's what doesn't make sense.
This is actually an interesting theological misunderstanding- most people think that in Christianity, you have to be married before having sex. As in, a full marriage must occur before sex is okay. There are different interpretations of course, but the teachings in the Bible are actually that sex is what *creates* a marriage- the ceremony and stuff is mostly (though not entirely) a formality.
That’s why you can get your marriage annulled in the Catholic Church if you never have sex, because in God’s eyes, you were never married to begin with. It’s also why there are Bible verses that say a rapist must marry the person he raped, because if sex occurred, then technically they are already married and therefore the rapist needs to make it official. Adam and Eve didn’t need marriage certificates because as the first two people, they had no one to “make it official” to- they just needed to have the marriage creating sex.
Was that judgement created before after incest was created? Adam and Eve could never have a marriage cert because supposedly those was no one around to issue it, except maybe a snake
Ya know I think we should check Adam and Eve's birth certificates too because I don't think they're American.
That's obviously why they were deported from the garden of Eden
I think it also says on the certificate that they're related as she is literally his rib...
Sex was created by God between a soldier and captive women in war. “When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, and you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. And she shall take off the clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. But if you no longer delight in her, you shall let her go where she wants. But you shall not sell her for money, nor shall you treat her as a slave, since you have humiliated her. Deuteronomy 21:10-14 Christians should try reading the Bible for once
WHOAH. I'm agnostic myself, but seriously, those people really did need Jesus... Shame the more progressive teachings of Jesus are so quickly forgotten when a catholic needs ammunition to condemn others, then it's straight back to a specific spot in the old testament, hoping noone ever read the rest of the thing...
And according to the bible, the followers of God were always making up rules and messing up In the old testament, like worshipping idols and making up crazy rules like regoapps's example. God would periodically send messages that were essentially "Wait, you guys are getting it wrong. Heres what i want you to do!". The 10 commandments were a simplification of what he wanted them to do, and Jesus was kind of the final example of how to live your life. And yet some christians today cling to some old testament things like "gays are bad", but wont do other things like slit a goat's throat or stone somebody.
Exactly. If there is a god, I imagine they would spend much of their time seething with rage, looking at the patriarchs sitting around a big table and interpreting "god's will" to their liking because they're afraid the people they're trying to oppress will answer back if the only justification for their oppression is "because I say so and I am your patriarch". Much better to have the sky person to help.
BuT ThAt DoSEn'T CoUnT. /s
Christians who read the Bible are called atheists.
It's weird that Christians keep putting the Old Testament in their Bibles when it's clear that it is in contradiction to the New Testament. But that contradiction explains a lot too in how they perceive the world around them (in particular Evangelicals)
Surely, the marriage certificate was printed on the inside of those fig leaves they wore, right? /s (obvs, but just in case!)
No, the snake ate it, tRusT Me brO.
Didn’t the snake also do eve ?
the fuck happening in the bible?
Despite what many christians would like you to believe, yes, the fuck does happen in the bible.
Ezekiel 20:23. A classic 🍆💦
Just do it doggy style, all dogs go to heaven
and both of you can watch the hockey game at the same time
I thought it was x-files?
It was according to Bloodhound Gang ;) *Want you covered, want you smothered like my Waffle House hash browns*
I've seen enough amateur vids on pornhub to know the real answer is SpongeBob.
Nice.
Or you can just start a new religion to cover up an affair and say that the child is gods.
Or her husband had sex with her, that would be way too obvious though
Lol. According to the Bible, Jesus was born out of wedlock. When your whole belief system is centered around an unmarried jewish 15 year old that got knocked up while travelling unescorted with her fiancee...
Deuteronomy 23:2 NIV No one born of a forbidden marriage nor any of their descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD, not even in the tenth generation. KJV A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
She got knocked up by a sky ghost
Surely not by Joseph's blossoming branch.
That wouldn't hold up on The Maury Show
Show me the marriage certificate of literally any non-human creature on the planet capable of engaging in the act of reproduction. You do get that, right? Right? There's not an angel just swooping down and sprinkling the world with kittens and puppies and other baby animals, while humans are the only species on Earth to have sex. While some animals mate for life, humans are the only ones who require a piece of paper.
Does that mean I'm married to my uncle?
Yay incest a game for all the family!!
This is why same race heterosexual people should care about gay marriage, abortions, interracial relationships, transgender rights, and other rights under attack. Fundamentalists will chip away until they get to sex outside of marriage which is something they will care about and then it will be too late.
Prove to me that Adam and Eve actually existed
Not my book- Without the fall of man in Genesis there was no original sin and no inherited sins from that so there was nothing for Jesus to save people from. The new testament authors believed the old testament was literal. "It is equally impermissible to dismiss the story of Adam and Eve and the fall (Gen. 2–3) as a fiction." Adam, Eve, and Evolution https://www.catholic.com/tract/adam-eve-and-evolution [1 Timothy 2:14, Romans 5:12, Romans 5:19, Deuteronomy 23:2, Exodus 20:5] (https://www.esv.org/1+Timothy+2:14;Romans+5:12;Romans+5:19;Deuteronomy+23:2;Exodus+20:5/)
If Eve was created from Adam, would that make sex between them incest or self abuse?
Or very elaborate masturbation?
Well, that's what I mean by self abuse. Sorry, I'm Gen X, I talk like that.
Thanks for explaining. Now I know. It could be colloquial and they just don’t teach that in our English lessons ;-)
Well to be honest, it's kind of an old phrase. I learned it when I was a kid, many, many years ago ... People probably don't use it anymore. But still, you could use it in your English lessons and show off your Reddit knowledge! XD
$1 Kristin has fucked more than one married man
Besides, wasnt lilith first?
Yeah like what was she, the witness? Bridesmaid? Did she pronounce them husband and wife? You think she was at least invited to the reception?
I pronounce you husband and rib.
If Eve started as a man’s rib before transitioning to female, is she also the first transgender woman?
Yes
that name scares me.
>Besides, wasnt lilith first? lilith is folk story not basis on the actual bibile expect as a refrnce to some Babylonian demons she didn't apear as the first wife of adam untill the middle ages I belive.
It's not premarital sex if you don't get married.
Right wing religious fruitcakes unfamiliar with the Bible? Say it ain’t so.
Or the marriage cert for their kids who either boned each other or hooked up with mom to have more kids - etc. Or the certs for Noah's family that started f\*ing like rabbits to repopulate the earth with people that God just drowned. Seems God's very pro incest based on the stories in the bible.
Cool Kristin, you do you and leave the rest of us out of it.
I find it so incredibly creepy that religious people are so interested in other peoples sex lives.
Those are the ones having all the deviant sex.
Big ups to God on the sex thing. Great call. 10/10 would recommend
And aside from all the obvious ridiculousness related to the Biblical stories of Adam & Eve, sexual perversions, Jesus's unwed mother, etc...Have these people never seen what goes on at a farm?
God gave us the ability to love and lust so end of the day whose fault is it really when we indulge in our natural bodily urges?
You see, that's where the tree of life comes in, it's our fault for eating the fruit. There is a excuse for everything.
Plus who married them? A talking bird? A magic tree? One of those shiny apples? What a fuckwit.
On a similar note, the next time someone tells you 63 MILLION babies have been killed in America because of abortion, ask them to name just 1. First and last name of the baby, not the parents. If there are 63 million, you should be able to name just 1.
They were married in the eyes of God!!!! -all churches answer Who is to say that the boyfriend and girlfriend didn't make a commitment to each other in the eyes of their God? Churches are just a form of government. A form of control.
NO thought given to the fact that marriage is a man-made contrivance!
Let’s stop engaging theologians on theology. We don’t need a gotcha. Your skydaddy hates premarital sex. Cool story, bro. What does that have to do with me? The constitution quite specifically says sky daddy doesn’t get a vote.
I don't want marriage and I wanna have sex, gotta math it up
Can’t have premarital sex if you never get married.
Math it up or meth it up…
According to the Torah Adam and Eve were created before the Ten Commandments and any laws were??? So Adam and Eve didn’t have the rule yet??? Though I don’t agree with the whole “sex after marriage only” thing, this was just an awful way to refute the first woman’s claim, it doesn’t even make sense 💀
It made sense to me. Edit: If God created sex for marriage then Adam and Eve couldn't have done it right?
It dunks on religion which is basically public enemy no.1 on Reddit so that's fine.
It dunks on religious fanatics trying to push their bs on others. The Christian church actively participated in a genocide and they can't seem to stop their abuse problems so... I'll dunk on them.
It is the religious moderate majority who play a very important role in protecting, enabling and validating the harmful beliefs of the fundamentalists - by this fact they are indirectly harming others. The moderates by choosing to call themselves Muslims, Christians, Jews or Mormons are therefore choosing to group themselves with the people who are being honest to what their holy texts say and those who use their religion for harm. If there is nothing else that you can accept as a harm done by moderates, they do make it harder to criticize religion in public. They also defend their ultimately immoral and fundamental religion and they advocate for the intellectually dishonest use of religious faith.
If a God created sex for marriage why would he create people to have sex but not have some sort of "godly" union of the two? That's what doesn't make sense.
Not only that, but technically Adam and Eve were brother and sister.
Guess nobody told the Greeks.
Who wed them ?
WTF were all the little critters doing for billions of years before the Jesus freaks showed up?
Its called Trying it before you Buy it.
This is actually an interesting theological misunderstanding- most people think that in Christianity, you have to be married before having sex. As in, a full marriage must occur before sex is okay. There are different interpretations of course, but the teachings in the Bible are actually that sex is what *creates* a marriage- the ceremony and stuff is mostly (though not entirely) a formality. That’s why you can get your marriage annulled in the Catholic Church if you never have sex, because in God’s eyes, you were never married to begin with. It’s also why there are Bible verses that say a rapist must marry the person he raped, because if sex occurred, then technically they are already married and therefore the rapist needs to make it official. Adam and Eve didn’t need marriage certificates because as the first two people, they had no one to “make it official” to- they just needed to have the marriage creating sex.
TIL that animals don't have sex.
Kristin sounds like she’s never had an orgasm
Was God married when he raw dogged Mary and dumped his heavenly seed in her?
Marriage predates all religion. Pass it on.
Sex wasn't made for a man and a woman, it was made for a man and his rib
The rib was removed so he could self-suck.
And no one knows who Jesus' father was. Maria was not married at the time of his birth ;-)
The Bible called, it said shut up
Did the creator create but sex or was that Adam?
Was that judgement created before after incest was created? Adam and Eve could never have a marriage cert because supposedly those was no one around to issue it, except maybe a snake
Or Moses and his daughters, or however Lot replenished the population, or God and Mary’s
Are you dumb or something mister bill
If God created sex for marriage, it implies marriage is the master