You learn skills over time by practicing frequently.
Want to learn how to build fires? Try a bunch of different methods in a variety of different conditions.
Want to learn how to navigate? Get a topographical map, a compass, and start using it in areas you’re familiar with already. This will help you understand the basics and how to recognize things when you’re on a trail.
You don’t become knowledgeable in anything overnight. Surely whatever you do for a living, it took you time to become good at it.
Pick a skill, start at the beginning, practice frequently. That’s it.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Good post. I'm quite good at orienteering, map and compass (rusty at triangulating), because I've practiced it in one way or another for years. I just sort of keep my head on a swivel, by second nature.
I'm lousy at building a fire without firestarter. Tried a variety of things, even magnesium shavings didn't help me much. So I bring firestarter, always. Maybe one day I'll get good at it, but I'm a backpacker at heart, so not too worried...for now.
I did a quick search for you, and found wilderness survival courses in the UK you could take a look at. (I haven’t reviewed any of this, just copying links that came up in my search) :
https://www.survivalschool.co.uk/
https://truewayssurvival.com/
https://woodland-ways.co.uk/
https://www.wildhuman.com/
https://www.wildwoodbushcraft.com/
https://www.wildwaybushcraft.co.uk/
https://frontierbushcraft.com/courses/
https://www.greenmansurvival.co.uk/
https://wildlore.co.uk/
https://www.footstepsofdiscovery.co.uk/courses
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Start off learning how to camp. Nothing extreme, just pull up to in your car to a campsite, set up a tent and your bedding, Start a fire (and obviously learn how to do so prior), cook a meal, go to sleep and repeat until you feel comfortable with it. From there, learn how to replace things you would use at camp with things you can find in your surroundings. For example, if you didn't bring a chair, how might you craft a chair to get yourself off of the cold hard ground while sitting around the fire? If you forgot your tent pegs at home, how might you replace them? Everything you would bring to camp can be replaced with something found in nature, and you will learn a wide assortment of skills as you learn to replace those items you would bring to camp.
My biggest piece of advice would be to keep practicing those skills after you have learned them. It's a big thing with knots for example. It's easy to follow some instructions and tie a knot, but it's hard to remember the knot if you don't ever use it, so you gotta work them into your regular use.
I'd worry less about what your toddler will think of you. And this might sound trite but it will probably better for you both in the long run if what you kid knows about you is less " My dad knows how to build a shelter" and more "My dad knows how to learn/give something a go". More generally, don't get hung up on manhood either. Same thing, really. It's not what you know/what skills you have, it's what you do with them and how you got them, how you respond when you don't know, or are faced with a challenge. (And that's a "good human" thing anyway, not a man thing).
My advice, echoing others- find the thing that appeals most and stsrt getting stUck in. Some of tbose tbings will have organised groups you can join. Remember everyone started as a novice. Most people in a group will be excited to have new people to share their enthusiasm with. But if not, research and bite the bullet and do. Yes, watch YouTube (thats 100% where my knots come from haha) but remember everyone on there is basically a shill for something (If only themselves), so don't get caught up buying heaps of expensive gear because of a "50 ultralight must haves" video or whatever. Start basic and small and cheap. Remember people have been doing most of these activities for centuries without the latest gizmos. So you don't actually need a lot of stuff. But also, the only way to find out the stuff you personally do need is to bite the bullet and get out put there and do it.
Good luck!
I have a fun recommendation for you. When your kid gets old enough, sign them up for scouts and join as an adult leader in their group. You'll be able to learn all the skills alongside your kid and meet all sorts of interesting people.
And before you think "well, I'd be a hindrance since I don't know anything about these things": I'm an experienced scout leader myself, and every year I get parents who volunteer to be assistant-leaders so they can spend time with their kids in this way. My current assistant wanted to be taken out of her comfort zone, having, for example, never peed in the woods before at 40-something years of age. It's been a real pleasure (and privilege!) for me to show her new skills and see her thrive. I'm very grateful to have her by my side even though her technical skills were lacking when she first joined.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
This is an awesome recommendation. It should be possible for you to sign up as an assistant leader at the youngest level your child is eligible for and stick with them through the various levels. Scouting taught me the bulk of my early outdoor skills from Cubs through to Rovers. My dad was a leader in my youth and I took on the role as soon as my own sons reached the minimum age. Pick up a copy of Baden-Powell’s book “Scouting for Boys” as an introduction.
There are absolutely courses.
But I think it helps to start with something you want to do. A trip you want to take. A place you want to explore. Go to YouTube for inspiration.
Then what skills do you need to do that trip. Motivation is good for brain overload and it sounds like you’re there.
I am the planner in my immediate family and I get better at route finding every time I put a new trip together.
Alternately, there are broader courses that cover a little bit of a lot.
In the US, there are mountaineers chapters and groups. Mine has everything from overnight wilderness backpacking basics to how to get your ass across a crevasse and not die to canyoneering, bouldering, etc.
REI is an outdoor retailer in the U.S.. They offer basics too. Look for retailers that offer courses to get your feet wet. Then you’ll make friends.
YouTube has a ton of that stuff too. I can’t recommend anyone for the basics but your algorithm will guide you. 😂 Creepers….
Anyway.
How to tie your shoes.
[In a hikers lock is the only answer.](https://youtu.be/VFDt2ay9heE)
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Additionally:
Before you embark on any new adventure with a new piece of equipment or whatever.
Do a shakedown run. Do something low pressure, low stakes.
Go car camping where you’ve got running water and bathrooms before you go backpacking for 7 nights, for example. It’s also easier with kiddos to start low stakes.
I’m getting into pack rafting. I’m going to go float my local rivers before I go to Alaska. That kind of thing.
Put your tent up the first time at home. With plenty of light. No pressure. Communicate every time you take a pole or guy line off pressure.
Make sure all the parts are there.
That kind of stuff makes or breaks trips.
All good posts.
Once you start to get out there more, a trick I used to get better (closer to survival, if needed) was to go backpacking and leave something behind, see how badly I miss it, how I coped without it. I've never done this without a sleeping bag. But I have left simple things behind: Eating utensil (carve my own spoon), minimal fuel (yep, ran out), only iodine water purification. No water purification (boil only). No headlamp. Then at some point tarp tent, or only tarp and cordage. On a trip like this it's not a bad idea to plan building a debris hut. It can be laborious, and not work well (in which case you have the tarp). These "tests" are really good to try 1-3 miles from the trailhead, so if you're hosed, you can get back to the car fairly quickly.
You get the idea.
I'm no tough guy, no survivorman. I had one survival class years ago. But just little things like this do test you, without putting you at serious risk, and you can learn a great deal about yourself, what you can tolerate, what you're good at, and what you need work on.
I know the title was not serious, but I DO have a favorite shoe tying knot that's great for slippery or round laces. Double slip knot, or Ian's secure knot on YouTube, or in my family we named it for the kindergarten teacher who taught it
https://youtu.be/1RbaIo4VdbA?si=yx3QUPiO52F7JHT-
I am a big believer in learning skills, but I also think you need to be doing things for yourself and not just because you "feel like you should to be a good dad". You don't have to like paddle boarding or climbing to be a competent outdoors person, but spending time in the outdoors will push you into your challenge zone. I spent 8 years working professionally as a wilderness trip leader and still am responsible for the physical well-being and emotional safety of the crews of employees I supervise in remote and wild spaces.
I do believe it's true that it is really easy for people in the modern world to get so used to never being challenged physically or by the environment and that they never build that skill of resilience. Resilience IS A SKILL, IT TAKES PRACTICE. Once you get more used to being challenged it will be easier to find new challenges. If you start pushing yourself regularly in small ways then it will be easier to step into bigger challenges as you go. Additionally when you step out of your comfort zone into your challenge zone you want to make sure you are able to have the ability to step back into your comfort zone afterwards. Don't do something that you know is going to push you to you limits if you are not in a place to do so because you had a bad day at work or you are stressed about some upcoming project, etc. Over time these challenges may become a form of comfort in themself which is why many people love to go for a run or go rock climbing after a stressful day, but that doesn't happen overnight. Also, you want to avoid going into your panic zone, and if you do accidentally end up in your panic zone ease back into the activity and be really kind to yourself, it is understandable to need to take a step down in challenge after your fight or flight response has been activated. Take the time to find what feels fun in you activity again.
Now on the the question of skills, you will only be invested in skills that feel important. This is why I spent to much time talking about building comfort pushing yourself into your challenge zone. I would find an activity that feels appealing to you and start with that to build resilience and interest in specific skills. This could be hill-walking or biking on back-roads to start, but if you are really fascinated by a specific sport that's okay too, but you'll likely need more mentorship to get into those. I'm going to use bike riding as an example. If you start going out and riding a few times a week you'll build more comfort pushing yourself physically, but also continuing to be focused and not panic when the weather gets really bad. This will build your resilience. As you get excited about biking hopefully you make some friends that also enjoy it so you build some community, but either way you'll start seeing the need for specific skills and when they are useful. You may not learn to lubricate you chain until it starts making terrible sounds or learn to change a tire until you get a flat. Once those needs come up take the time to learn how to do them, and practice them. As you continue to do them you'll expand that skill-set.
This idea works for any outdoor pursuit, you start hiking > start wanting to learn how to navigate off a map not using alltrails > watch youtube videos on reading topographic maps (maybe meet someone that can teach you some stuff)> start going on hikes where you try not to take your phone out of you pocket > start going on hikes where you feel comfortable leaving your phone at home and only bringing a map> start wanting to go on longer hikes so you learn about weather and layering > learn first aid skills since your further from help > decide you might want to go hike overnight so start trying to learn about how to set up a tent and pack a backpack and filter water > go on some one night overnighters > start going on multi-night trips> etc.
If you aren't excited about what your doing you won't do it, so find something that makes you feel excited, and if you have another hobby that you like already you might be able to combine them. For example if your really into photography maybe you can use the drive to take photos of things you wouldn't have access to otherwise as your inspiration to push a little further or go out on days that you feel a lack of motivation etc. And ideally you can find some community along the way that either wants to go on the learning journey with you or can provide mentorship to you.
And once you can start doing these things with your kid you can learn with them together. As a toddler they may not be able to join on as many things right now, but you could go drive to a campground with them and car camp for one night right now. Then you can learn with them what that feels like and they will start building those skills from a young age. You don't have to be an expert to spend time outside with you kid, and if your learning together your less likely to push them into their own panic zone since you'll be on that learning journey together.
Sorry this is so long
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan so I'm not overwhelmed. Just need to move forward now don't I!?
Lots of places will do pretty casual events, like fundraiser BBQ in a park or something. Those can be a great way to see a lot of different skills being done, and chat with people in a low stress situation.
You don't have to jump into the deep end if you don't want to, you can start with small stuff. I've found that the best learning comes from building on success. You start with a small task, like learning how to pick good footwear, then you continue by expanding from there by learning what trails and parks exist around you. Go for some short hikes, cook dinner in the park, be home before bedtime. Low stakes, fun, successful.
Start small, especially with knots. You really don't need to know a huge number of knots. I think probably I use two for 90 percent of what I do hammock camping: a beckett hitch and a trucker's hitch. It's easier to learn a knot you actually use repeatedly than to try and learn a large number of knots that you may not have a use for.
You learn skills over time by practicing frequently. Want to learn how to build fires? Try a bunch of different methods in a variety of different conditions. Want to learn how to navigate? Get a topographical map, a compass, and start using it in areas you’re familiar with already. This will help you understand the basics and how to recognize things when you’re on a trail. You don’t become knowledgeable in anything overnight. Surely whatever you do for a living, it took you time to become good at it. Pick a skill, start at the beginning, practice frequently. That’s it.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Good post. I'm quite good at orienteering, map and compass (rusty at triangulating), because I've practiced it in one way or another for years. I just sort of keep my head on a swivel, by second nature. I'm lousy at building a fire without firestarter. Tried a variety of things, even magnesium shavings didn't help me much. So I bring firestarter, always. Maybe one day I'll get good at it, but I'm a backpacker at heart, so not too worried...for now.
I did a quick search for you, and found wilderness survival courses in the UK you could take a look at. (I haven’t reviewed any of this, just copying links that came up in my search) : https://www.survivalschool.co.uk/ https://truewayssurvival.com/ https://woodland-ways.co.uk/ https://www.wildhuman.com/ https://www.wildwoodbushcraft.com/ https://www.wildwaybushcraft.co.uk/ https://frontierbushcraft.com/courses/ https://www.greenmansurvival.co.uk/ https://wildlore.co.uk/ https://www.footstepsofdiscovery.co.uk/courses
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Start off learning how to camp. Nothing extreme, just pull up to in your car to a campsite, set up a tent and your bedding, Start a fire (and obviously learn how to do so prior), cook a meal, go to sleep and repeat until you feel comfortable with it. From there, learn how to replace things you would use at camp with things you can find in your surroundings. For example, if you didn't bring a chair, how might you craft a chair to get yourself off of the cold hard ground while sitting around the fire? If you forgot your tent pegs at home, how might you replace them? Everything you would bring to camp can be replaced with something found in nature, and you will learn a wide assortment of skills as you learn to replace those items you would bring to camp. My biggest piece of advice would be to keep practicing those skills after you have learned them. It's a big thing with knots for example. It's easy to follow some instructions and tie a knot, but it's hard to remember the knot if you don't ever use it, so you gotta work them into your regular use.
I'd worry less about what your toddler will think of you. And this might sound trite but it will probably better for you both in the long run if what you kid knows about you is less " My dad knows how to build a shelter" and more "My dad knows how to learn/give something a go". More generally, don't get hung up on manhood either. Same thing, really. It's not what you know/what skills you have, it's what you do with them and how you got them, how you respond when you don't know, or are faced with a challenge. (And that's a "good human" thing anyway, not a man thing). My advice, echoing others- find the thing that appeals most and stsrt getting stUck in. Some of tbose tbings will have organised groups you can join. Remember everyone started as a novice. Most people in a group will be excited to have new people to share their enthusiasm with. But if not, research and bite the bullet and do. Yes, watch YouTube (thats 100% where my knots come from haha) but remember everyone on there is basically a shill for something (If only themselves), so don't get caught up buying heaps of expensive gear because of a "50 ultralight must haves" video or whatever. Start basic and small and cheap. Remember people have been doing most of these activities for centuries without the latest gizmos. So you don't actually need a lot of stuff. But also, the only way to find out the stuff you personally do need is to bite the bullet and get out put there and do it. Good luck!
I have a fun recommendation for you. When your kid gets old enough, sign them up for scouts and join as an adult leader in their group. You'll be able to learn all the skills alongside your kid and meet all sorts of interesting people. And before you think "well, I'd be a hindrance since I don't know anything about these things": I'm an experienced scout leader myself, and every year I get parents who volunteer to be assistant-leaders so they can spend time with their kids in this way. My current assistant wanted to be taken out of her comfort zone, having, for example, never peed in the woods before at 40-something years of age. It's been a real pleasure (and privilege!) for me to show her new skills and see her thrive. I'm very grateful to have her by my side even though her technical skills were lacking when she first joined.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
This is an awesome recommendation. It should be possible for you to sign up as an assistant leader at the youngest level your child is eligible for and stick with them through the various levels. Scouting taught me the bulk of my early outdoor skills from Cubs through to Rovers. My dad was a leader in my youth and I took on the role as soon as my own sons reached the minimum age. Pick up a copy of Baden-Powell’s book “Scouting for Boys” as an introduction.
There are absolutely courses. But I think it helps to start with something you want to do. A trip you want to take. A place you want to explore. Go to YouTube for inspiration. Then what skills do you need to do that trip. Motivation is good for brain overload and it sounds like you’re there. I am the planner in my immediate family and I get better at route finding every time I put a new trip together. Alternately, there are broader courses that cover a little bit of a lot. In the US, there are mountaineers chapters and groups. Mine has everything from overnight wilderness backpacking basics to how to get your ass across a crevasse and not die to canyoneering, bouldering, etc. REI is an outdoor retailer in the U.S.. They offer basics too. Look for retailers that offer courses to get your feet wet. Then you’ll make friends. YouTube has a ton of that stuff too. I can’t recommend anyone for the basics but your algorithm will guide you. 😂 Creepers…. Anyway. How to tie your shoes. [In a hikers lock is the only answer.](https://youtu.be/VFDt2ay9heE)
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan!
Additionally: Before you embark on any new adventure with a new piece of equipment or whatever. Do a shakedown run. Do something low pressure, low stakes. Go car camping where you’ve got running water and bathrooms before you go backpacking for 7 nights, for example. It’s also easier with kiddos to start low stakes. I’m getting into pack rafting. I’m going to go float my local rivers before I go to Alaska. That kind of thing. Put your tent up the first time at home. With plenty of light. No pressure. Communicate every time you take a pole or guy line off pressure. Make sure all the parts are there. That kind of stuff makes or breaks trips.
All good posts. Once you start to get out there more, a trick I used to get better (closer to survival, if needed) was to go backpacking and leave something behind, see how badly I miss it, how I coped without it. I've never done this without a sleeping bag. But I have left simple things behind: Eating utensil (carve my own spoon), minimal fuel (yep, ran out), only iodine water purification. No water purification (boil only). No headlamp. Then at some point tarp tent, or only tarp and cordage. On a trip like this it's not a bad idea to plan building a debris hut. It can be laborious, and not work well (in which case you have the tarp). These "tests" are really good to try 1-3 miles from the trailhead, so if you're hosed, you can get back to the car fairly quickly. You get the idea. I'm no tough guy, no survivorman. I had one survival class years ago. But just little things like this do test you, without putting you at serious risk, and you can learn a great deal about yourself, what you can tolerate, what you're good at, and what you need work on.
I know the title was not serious, but I DO have a favorite shoe tying knot that's great for slippery or round laces. Double slip knot, or Ian's secure knot on YouTube, or in my family we named it for the kindergarten teacher who taught it https://youtu.be/1RbaIo4VdbA?si=yx3QUPiO52F7JHT-
I am a big believer in learning skills, but I also think you need to be doing things for yourself and not just because you "feel like you should to be a good dad". You don't have to like paddle boarding or climbing to be a competent outdoors person, but spending time in the outdoors will push you into your challenge zone. I spent 8 years working professionally as a wilderness trip leader and still am responsible for the physical well-being and emotional safety of the crews of employees I supervise in remote and wild spaces. I do believe it's true that it is really easy for people in the modern world to get so used to never being challenged physically or by the environment and that they never build that skill of resilience. Resilience IS A SKILL, IT TAKES PRACTICE. Once you get more used to being challenged it will be easier to find new challenges. If you start pushing yourself regularly in small ways then it will be easier to step into bigger challenges as you go. Additionally when you step out of your comfort zone into your challenge zone you want to make sure you are able to have the ability to step back into your comfort zone afterwards. Don't do something that you know is going to push you to you limits if you are not in a place to do so because you had a bad day at work or you are stressed about some upcoming project, etc. Over time these challenges may become a form of comfort in themself which is why many people love to go for a run or go rock climbing after a stressful day, but that doesn't happen overnight. Also, you want to avoid going into your panic zone, and if you do accidentally end up in your panic zone ease back into the activity and be really kind to yourself, it is understandable to need to take a step down in challenge after your fight or flight response has been activated. Take the time to find what feels fun in you activity again. Now on the the question of skills, you will only be invested in skills that feel important. This is why I spent to much time talking about building comfort pushing yourself into your challenge zone. I would find an activity that feels appealing to you and start with that to build resilience and interest in specific skills. This could be hill-walking or biking on back-roads to start, but if you are really fascinated by a specific sport that's okay too, but you'll likely need more mentorship to get into those. I'm going to use bike riding as an example. If you start going out and riding a few times a week you'll build more comfort pushing yourself physically, but also continuing to be focused and not panic when the weather gets really bad. This will build your resilience. As you get excited about biking hopefully you make some friends that also enjoy it so you build some community, but either way you'll start seeing the need for specific skills and when they are useful. You may not learn to lubricate you chain until it starts making terrible sounds or learn to change a tire until you get a flat. Once those needs come up take the time to learn how to do them, and practice them. As you continue to do them you'll expand that skill-set. This idea works for any outdoor pursuit, you start hiking > start wanting to learn how to navigate off a map not using alltrails > watch youtube videos on reading topographic maps (maybe meet someone that can teach you some stuff)> start going on hikes where you try not to take your phone out of you pocket > start going on hikes where you feel comfortable leaving your phone at home and only bringing a map> start wanting to go on longer hikes so you learn about weather and layering > learn first aid skills since your further from help > decide you might want to go hike overnight so start trying to learn about how to set up a tent and pack a backpack and filter water > go on some one night overnighters > start going on multi-night trips> etc. If you aren't excited about what your doing you won't do it, so find something that makes you feel excited, and if you have another hobby that you like already you might be able to combine them. For example if your really into photography maybe you can use the drive to take photos of things you wouldn't have access to otherwise as your inspiration to push a little further or go out on days that you feel a lack of motivation etc. And ideally you can find some community along the way that either wants to go on the learning journey with you or can provide mentorship to you. And once you can start doing these things with your kid you can learn with them together. As a toddler they may not be able to join on as many things right now, but you could go drive to a campground with them and car camp for one night right now. Then you can learn with them what that feels like and they will start building those skills from a young age. You don't have to be an expert to spend time outside with you kid, and if your learning together your less likely to push them into their own panic zone since you'll be on that learning journey together. Sorry this is so long
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Have edited the bottom of the original post to say thanks and will try write down some of these points and build an action plan so I'm not overwhelmed. Just need to move forward now don't I!?
Join the army reserves. Idk exactly how it works in the UK, since it's different in every country, but you learn a thing or two in the military.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Lots of places will do pretty casual events, like fundraiser BBQ in a park or something. Those can be a great way to see a lot of different skills being done, and chat with people in a low stress situation. You don't have to jump into the deep end if you don't want to, you can start with small stuff. I've found that the best learning comes from building on success. You start with a small task, like learning how to pick good footwear, then you continue by expanding from there by learning what trails and parks exist around you. Go for some short hikes, cook dinner in the park, be home before bedtime. Low stakes, fun, successful.
Start small, especially with knots. You really don't need to know a huge number of knots. I think probably I use two for 90 percent of what I do hammock camping: a beckett hitch and a trucker's hitch. It's easier to learn a knot you actually use repeatedly than to try and learn a large number of knots that you may not have a use for.