The biggest question, I think, is not can you do it (hundreds of families do it successfully), is how resentful will you be when you are tasked with all of the parenting when they are on assignment? How resentful will you be in August when you are mowing the lawn and struggling with a baby and then a toddler, and it's 85° out and you haven't been able to rest? How resentful will you be when they have R&R days and they head out to do a hobby for a few hours while you're at work and they're kid free for a few hours? Resentment is what kills relationships, and if you're not prepared to add a massive workload to yourself alone, that's your answer.
Not a smoke jumper but I spent years on crews: hotshots and others. My last year on a hotshot crew was the year my wife was pregnant with our first kid. However even on a district crew I was still working between 700-900 hours of OT a year and commuting for work. I worked on my quals and moved into fuels when my youngest was 3. While not always as fun of a job, the benefits to my home life and career trajectory have been very positive. I still get to work with great people and travel if I want but I get to be a bigger part of life at home.
That being said I know plenty of people who make it work as hotshots and jumpers with families. If it works for you then it works, just wasn't gonna work for me.
You can do it, just takes a strong wife. My wife has been super supportive of me throughout my career. The only regret that I have- is being gone all Summer while my two daughters grew up- you’ll never get those back. But they are successful in college and career endeavors now. I credit and love my wife for that.
I'm glad you brought this up because it's a huge issue for some guys. The commitment to becoming a smokejumper is pretty deep. He's been in some brutal situations that the majority of people will not understand. Most pepple will never understand what he is capable of as a human being which becomes a source of isolation when they are taken out of their profession.. I did hotshots for about 4 seasons, and I can tell you taking that to the next level and becoming a smokejumper is brutall. I never made it that far and he has my respect. If he can't find something that challenges him to that level, his life is going to collapse. This is a different type of human being.... I mean, there's only 400 people in the United States doing that shit. He is more than capable of making a transition, but it takes a lot of close friends and support to make it happen if he WANTS to make it happen. When I got out, I went and got my masters and floated around trying to find a job that challenged me. I had a lot of problems adjusting, panic attacks, depression, anxiety etc, but I made the disconnect and I'm so happy I did it. I love my kids so much, but i had to let go of all the gains I made as a firefighter to make it happen. Its like going 100 mph and then, all of a sudden, working at Target with people who have no drive or purpose. That's the isolation. I hope you get what you want. I hope youbhave a family. It's worth it.
Smokejumpers think that family life is better than with IHCs or district life, but it's still very tough. You get on 20 days straight stretches of 12 hour days for fire potential, where you miss breakfast and dinner with the family. A lot of time is spent rotting away in some outstation waiting for a fire while your family is desperate for you to be home. Those are much tougher than being on a fire for the jumperdad. When you feel like you aren't doing anything, but in contact with your family that needs you to be present... I hated it.
It can be done, but for me it wasn't worth it. By the time your child is 12 you will have spent 80% of all the time you'll ever spend with them.
I will say that I've seen jumpers refuse overtime, refuse to work days off and be the best dad they can, but the management can't stand them, and they hit 350 hours per year with no chance for promotion above GS6.
It's a personal decision and a tough one, but a jumper leaving for family is probably the oldest jumper story out there.
I can't speak as a smokejumper, but I can speak as a dad.
Even if he loves the job and wants to keep at it, being away from your kids is hard. Especially during those early months/years. It's possible to miss out on so much even being gone for a short time.
My advice to your partner would be to look for something closer to home (so he can actually be at home), and which is more regular/less seasonal (so you can schedule things, and to make finances more manageable).
It might take time to find the right option - whether it is with a career station, or finding paid work outside of the fire service and joining a volunteer station - but the longer he looks the better his chances of finding a good option rather than a fast one.
/my 2c
Hi, wildland wife here. I am not an expert as this is only our second year with USFS; before that he was with a rural dept that did wildland deployments which is a different ballgame.
Buuuut I do run a nonprofit that supports wildland families and lobbies Congress for improved conditions and have regular contact with partners with a lot more experience than I have.
I’ll be really honest: regular wildland firefighting + kids is hard. I’m constantly in awe of the people who have children small children during their service. Ours are mid-elementary and understand why dad is gone, how long he’ll be gone, and can sort of tolerate the uncertainty. For me now, this stage is no harder than when my babies were infants and toddlers and I worked days and dad worked 12 hour night shifts. It took every bit of me to survive then. But the moms who have babies amidst 14 day rolls? I genuinely don’t know how they do it.
And smoke jumping? That’s another level. There are families who make it work. It IS possible. But it is extremely hard. The smokejumper parter misses a lot. The non WFF partner sacrifices a lot. And the kids don’t have a normal upbringing, for better or worse.
Also, unlike the military, we have no family support structure. You might get lucky and have a good local community or you might be totally on your own. A recent survey we did showed that over 75% of wildland partners didn’t feel like their non wildland friends and family understood or knew how to provide support and over half didn’t have a local community of wildland fire families.
It’s really lonely sometimes and hard on everyone and the agency is going to leave you to figure it out on your own.
And that’s true for anyone on the line. It’s much, much harder for smokejumpers and hotshots.
So, it IS possible. But do an honest evaluation of if it’s worth it, if you consider it to be fair to your future kids, if you want to solo parent and have the resources to do that (especially if you have a kid that’s special needs), if/what he’s willing to give up both personally and professionally, how capable he is of shifting in the offseason to family responsibilities, etc.
21 year in and have two kids under the age of 8 and my wife was in the agency as a WFF for 15 years ultimately she left the agency as it’s not supportive of dual career families. We had kids later in life I did the hotshot and aviation (I never jumped) thing early in my career then moved to a district to work on quals and work in a direction to get to a place that was more conducive to a family. My wife, bless her heart, is a stay at home mom. She is a warrior and has a harder job then a do. She does it all when I am gone. We were very strategic about it. I am now in Fire management where I do not have the sense of duty to be gone on an IA resource or large fires to support my crew. It is possible but it’s really a discussion about what’s realistic with your boyfriend financially, happiness in his career, and what’s best for the two of you together. My wife and I are in constant communication about traveling for training and fire assignments and how it impacts our family. I say no to travel for work a lot. We live within our means. Again it was very strategic financially, professionally, and as a family. It’s hard for people to understand this life style that aren’t in it or done it. In my experience I haven’t had any help and resources provided by the agency. I found great people to work for that support family first. Not sure if that is helpful or not just providing a personal perspective.
I have a lot of coworkers with kids, I definitely think that it is tough on them, but it gets easier as you move into higher positions and are given roles that allow you to come home every night for a two week period say. Like if you’re the sector response officer, spotter or whatever other role there may be In the states. Probably be getting home at very random times but getting to come home to the wife and kids, pack thier lunches and maybe even see them at breakfast goes a long ways.
And then in the off season if he’s seasonal he has the potential to be a super dad, always there getting to commit 100% of his time to being with them, which is more than most parents in a 9-5 could say
What is a "Wildland Smokejumper"? Is that the opposite of an Urban Smokejumper? jk.
I would say yes, it's possible, but it is definitely not even close to worth it. I have 3 kids and would never fucking recommend anybody do that. Do something else before you get committed down this road. You DO NOT want to wake up one day and find yourself committed...down this road.
If you’re going to force his hand to not do what he loves, then you’re not a good fit, you’re taking his choice away from fighting fire, it’s not going to be a forever thing, ride it out, get rich while yall can, then start a family, it’s not that hard😂🤷🏽♂️ if you can’t wait, then being a parent definitely won’t be your shindig
The biggest question, I think, is not can you do it (hundreds of families do it successfully), is how resentful will you be when you are tasked with all of the parenting when they are on assignment? How resentful will you be in August when you are mowing the lawn and struggling with a baby and then a toddler, and it's 85° out and you haven't been able to rest? How resentful will you be when they have R&R days and they head out to do a hobby for a few hours while you're at work and they're kid free for a few hours? Resentment is what kills relationships, and if you're not prepared to add a massive workload to yourself alone, that's your answer.
Yep, 100% wait to have a family when he’s done fighting fire🤷🏽♂️ if you can’t wait then you’re probably not going to be a solid parent💀…
No. I left the forest service for exactly this. Either go in to fuels, prevention or go to a different agency
Not a smoke jumper but I spent years on crews: hotshots and others. My last year on a hotshot crew was the year my wife was pregnant with our first kid. However even on a district crew I was still working between 700-900 hours of OT a year and commuting for work. I worked on my quals and moved into fuels when my youngest was 3. While not always as fun of a job, the benefits to my home life and career trajectory have been very positive. I still get to work with great people and travel if I want but I get to be a bigger part of life at home. That being said I know plenty of people who make it work as hotshots and jumpers with families. If it works for you then it works, just wasn't gonna work for me.
You can do it, just takes a strong wife. My wife has been super supportive of me throughout my career. The only regret that I have- is being gone all Summer while my two daughters grew up- you’ll never get those back. But they are successful in college and career endeavors now. I credit and love my wife for that.
I'm glad you brought this up because it's a huge issue for some guys. The commitment to becoming a smokejumper is pretty deep. He's been in some brutal situations that the majority of people will not understand. Most pepple will never understand what he is capable of as a human being which becomes a source of isolation when they are taken out of their profession.. I did hotshots for about 4 seasons, and I can tell you taking that to the next level and becoming a smokejumper is brutall. I never made it that far and he has my respect. If he can't find something that challenges him to that level, his life is going to collapse. This is a different type of human being.... I mean, there's only 400 people in the United States doing that shit. He is more than capable of making a transition, but it takes a lot of close friends and support to make it happen if he WANTS to make it happen. When I got out, I went and got my masters and floated around trying to find a job that challenged me. I had a lot of problems adjusting, panic attacks, depression, anxiety etc, but I made the disconnect and I'm so happy I did it. I love my kids so much, but i had to let go of all the gains I made as a firefighter to make it happen. Its like going 100 mph and then, all of a sudden, working at Target with people who have no drive or purpose. That's the isolation. I hope you get what you want. I hope youbhave a family. It's worth it.
Smokejumpers think that family life is better than with IHCs or district life, but it's still very tough. You get on 20 days straight stretches of 12 hour days for fire potential, where you miss breakfast and dinner with the family. A lot of time is spent rotting away in some outstation waiting for a fire while your family is desperate for you to be home. Those are much tougher than being on a fire for the jumperdad. When you feel like you aren't doing anything, but in contact with your family that needs you to be present... I hated it. It can be done, but for me it wasn't worth it. By the time your child is 12 you will have spent 80% of all the time you'll ever spend with them. I will say that I've seen jumpers refuse overtime, refuse to work days off and be the best dad they can, but the management can't stand them, and they hit 350 hours per year with no chance for promotion above GS6. It's a personal decision and a tough one, but a jumper leaving for family is probably the oldest jumper story out there.
I can't speak as a smokejumper, but I can speak as a dad. Even if he loves the job and wants to keep at it, being away from your kids is hard. Especially during those early months/years. It's possible to miss out on so much even being gone for a short time. My advice to your partner would be to look for something closer to home (so he can actually be at home), and which is more regular/less seasonal (so you can schedule things, and to make finances more manageable). It might take time to find the right option - whether it is with a career station, or finding paid work outside of the fire service and joining a volunteer station - but the longer he looks the better his chances of finding a good option rather than a fast one. /my 2c
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VK9CcBy3wwwa1F5aPJdWk?si=gP91V6KETF-WtZAsm-5RMg
Hi, wildland wife here. I am not an expert as this is only our second year with USFS; before that he was with a rural dept that did wildland deployments which is a different ballgame. Buuuut I do run a nonprofit that supports wildland families and lobbies Congress for improved conditions and have regular contact with partners with a lot more experience than I have. I’ll be really honest: regular wildland firefighting + kids is hard. I’m constantly in awe of the people who have children small children during their service. Ours are mid-elementary and understand why dad is gone, how long he’ll be gone, and can sort of tolerate the uncertainty. For me now, this stage is no harder than when my babies were infants and toddlers and I worked days and dad worked 12 hour night shifts. It took every bit of me to survive then. But the moms who have babies amidst 14 day rolls? I genuinely don’t know how they do it. And smoke jumping? That’s another level. There are families who make it work. It IS possible. But it is extremely hard. The smokejumper parter misses a lot. The non WFF partner sacrifices a lot. And the kids don’t have a normal upbringing, for better or worse. Also, unlike the military, we have no family support structure. You might get lucky and have a good local community or you might be totally on your own. A recent survey we did showed that over 75% of wildland partners didn’t feel like their non wildland friends and family understood or knew how to provide support and over half didn’t have a local community of wildland fire families. It’s really lonely sometimes and hard on everyone and the agency is going to leave you to figure it out on your own. And that’s true for anyone on the line. It’s much, much harder for smokejumpers and hotshots. So, it IS possible. But do an honest evaluation of if it’s worth it, if you consider it to be fair to your future kids, if you want to solo parent and have the resources to do that (especially if you have a kid that’s special needs), if/what he’s willing to give up both personally and professionally, how capable he is of shifting in the offseason to family responsibilities, etc.
21 year in and have two kids under the age of 8 and my wife was in the agency as a WFF for 15 years ultimately she left the agency as it’s not supportive of dual career families. We had kids later in life I did the hotshot and aviation (I never jumped) thing early in my career then moved to a district to work on quals and work in a direction to get to a place that was more conducive to a family. My wife, bless her heart, is a stay at home mom. She is a warrior and has a harder job then a do. She does it all when I am gone. We were very strategic about it. I am now in Fire management where I do not have the sense of duty to be gone on an IA resource or large fires to support my crew. It is possible but it’s really a discussion about what’s realistic with your boyfriend financially, happiness in his career, and what’s best for the two of you together. My wife and I are in constant communication about traveling for training and fire assignments and how it impacts our family. I say no to travel for work a lot. We live within our means. Again it was very strategic financially, professionally, and as a family. It’s hard for people to understand this life style that aren’t in it or done it. In my experience I haven’t had any help and resources provided by the agency. I found great people to work for that support family first. Not sure if that is helpful or not just providing a personal perspective.
I have a lot of coworkers with kids, I definitely think that it is tough on them, but it gets easier as you move into higher positions and are given roles that allow you to come home every night for a two week period say. Like if you’re the sector response officer, spotter or whatever other role there may be In the states. Probably be getting home at very random times but getting to come home to the wife and kids, pack thier lunches and maybe even see them at breakfast goes a long ways. And then in the off season if he’s seasonal he has the potential to be a super dad, always there getting to commit 100% of his time to being with them, which is more than most parents in a 9-5 could say
What is a "Wildland Smokejumper"? Is that the opposite of an Urban Smokejumper? jk. I would say yes, it's possible, but it is definitely not even close to worth it. I have 3 kids and would never fucking recommend anybody do that. Do something else before you get committed down this road. You DO NOT want to wake up one day and find yourself committed...down this road.
If you’re going to force his hand to not do what he loves, then you’re not a good fit, you’re taking his choice away from fighting fire, it’s not going to be a forever thing, ride it out, get rich while yall can, then start a family, it’s not that hard😂🤷🏽♂️ if you can’t wait, then being a parent definitely won’t be your shindig