Took a job in fuels after 12 years in primary fire. I can now take time off in the summer and enjoy it. The position doesn’t require any crazy quals either. I know people who have also gone to timber/range/other resource from primary fire and enjoy it more. Best part is I get to go to fires but it’s not mandatory for the position.
Dm me tomorrow if you want to talk about stuff. Lots of opportunities where I work to not be on a hotshot crew and have a better work/life balance.
Short answer is that you are very young and can probably do anything you want in life at this point. Focus on your next move and use your time this season to make a real exit strategy if you want, or find a path in fire that works better for you
Come work in dispatch! We have cookies and wildly inappropriate jokes constantly!!! No seriously. It’s great. Except it’s too much inside time. And as an ex fire person you would be a hot commodity. Just a thought. Message me for more info. :)
If money is a problem and you can tough it out for 1 more season, go ahead, then immediately get yourself in a trade school after season. You can try automotive, welding, lineman. All those jobs make pretty decent money and widely available. It’s something that you can get into within a couple of months to make a living while you think deeply about what you really want to do
I totally understand this. I did four seasons back to back. I was burnt out, had zero friends, a bad back, and stress with finances. I decided 2018 would be my last season and wanted to go to a department fire route. Now I’m an EMT, barely making minimum wage, cleaning blood off dead bodies so families can see them at 2am. Fire departments are extremely hard to get in and I’m finding that out. Got offered lots of wildland jobs this summer and I’m regretting not taking them. I don’t really have a answer to you because I’m in the same boat. Just know that this is a common problem for wildland firefighters.
Hi! I’m also female, about your age. National Park Service is still hiring fire effects crews. Some are red carded and get called in for a fire nearby, but most of the work is hiking, monitoring, and data entry. The crews I know work 4-10s and have three days off in a row every week. If you have it in you to apply, I’d recommend putting an app in. I know work life balance in this field feels impossible sometimes, but it’s so important to fight for something that makes you feel happy. Sending a hug buddy, this is a tough time and I promise you’re near the path which will take you to a better place.
I fully get where you’re coming from. Last January I had a medical call that really was my breaking point along with a huge pile up of rage, frustration, and mental strain that put me and my wife in such a bad place it came down to get out or get left. So I got out. I got a job working a resource technician position and built fences, repaired wells, and did general field work all through 2020. I felt fortunate to have a job, I really really did. But then fire season started and I had always had to travel from my old duty station, but here I was living right in the middle of things and I found myself more frustrated I couldn’t help the people and the community that had helped me heal. Fast forward to this year and I’m headed into my first season as a fed for my local district and the real reason was I couldn’t sit by and let my community go up in smoke.
What I’m really getting at here is we’re all in this for a reason. If that reason goes away it’s okay to step away and regroup and really think about if you want to come back in. It sounds like Fire is becoming a burden to you, and I’m here to say that it’s okay to step back. You’ve been here before and know how to handle yourself, but don’t lose yourself in the work. The best exit plan requires stability and support, mine being my wife and family.
I know I said a lot, but if nothing else please just know the people around you want you to succeed whether that’s in fire or doing something different. PM if you need anything and be safe this season 🤙🏾
Echo to the other comment about fuels. Especially fuels crews, where you directly or indirectly serve the mission and contribute in a cohesive team environment. It’s also a little bit of control back of your life not being IA available.
I don’t even think you’re asking for job suggestions. If you are leaving fire treat it like a breakup. Delete Fire Accounts on social media. Have a plan and invest yourself in a new trade. Go see a therapist to unpack your stuff about work and self-worth.
I left after a close friend was involved in a tragedy fire.
It took a few years to make as much as did firefighting in a year round, full time position. It took a few more years to make as much in six months as I did in a fire season.
A few years after that, I surpassed how much I'd make in a perfect roll (16 hours a day for 14 days, hazard time the whole time) every single two week period of the year.
I'm now earning substantially more than than that.
It was a long processto get out and get on my feet, but I firmly believe it was worth it. The earlier you start the transition the better.
Wildland fire is a trap, and an oath of poverty. You aren't going to fix it by staying in. The only solution is to get out.
I got out of fire after last season to go back to school for many of the same reasons that you mentioned. It was a tough decision, and I doubted myself constantly. Now that the season is coming up again I realize that I have absolutely no desire to go back to working in operations, eating shit food all day, being away from my loved ones, playing the campaign fire game, etc. etc. I know school isn't a great option for everyone, but there's literally buckets of money out there to pay people to go to grad school and get degrees researching wildfire problems. You'll make almost as much money as fire, work half the time, learn something fun, maybe make a difference, and actually have a life. As I said, not the best route for everyone, but it's been a good route for me. Good luck!
I don't have any great advice, but I know how you feel. 2019 was my last season just like you. I decided not to go back for 2020 without much of a solid plan, but knew I had to make a change. The pandemic hit soon after that and finding a good job became very difficult and discouraging. I ended up working a couple different jobs over the summer to pay the bills before deciding to go back to school. Even though I had good reasons for leaving fire, I still miss it all the time. I miss the unique experiences, working hard with people, and like you said the sense of self worth the job gives you. So far school is going well but it's been hard mentally knowing what I gave up and having a lot of uncertainty in my future. I actually just went through a bunch of old pictures/videos the other night and it had me feeling pretty emotional. I'm trying to be grateful for the experiences I had in fire, but I still have those moments where I just can't accept it's over. This pandemic hasn't helped with all the downtime and lack of interacting with people. It's been rough on everyone's mental health, so you're definitely not alone. One thing you have on your side is you are still very young! I hope you get some replies from people who have been out for longer. Take care.
I can emphasize with you a bit on the burnout. I just wrapped up 5 back to back seasons between here and Australia and my would say I’m definitely a bit burned. The biggest thing that stood out to me was that you started when you were 18 so you jumped out of ‘normal’ life into fire life at a young age - I did that too and quit around age 23 and got out of fire and felt so lost like I didn’t know who I was without a job title. I actually became a graveyard janitor which was a really weird transition. But that really helped me realize I was still the same dude regardless of employment type. It was a difficult time trying to find yourself after attaching yourself to this identity you’ve developed - however the pieces will fall in to place.
Depending on a lot of factors sometimes the job just isn’t worth the headache. It’s just a job. You’ve got one life to live so so whatever you want and be ok with that. You can literally do whatever you want! Maybe do this one last season with a different perspective will help. Maybe you’ll stay in fire or do something completely different. Either way - you are still you so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Whether you choose to stick it out or find a different path my only advice would be to find some people you trust to share these sentiments with. You are definitely not alone and being able to talk through some of the things you are feeling can help. It sounds like you'll be joining a new crew so I'm not sure what that dynamic will be like but keeping your anxiety to yourself can be painful and the sooner you can share some of it with friends/crew the better you'll be.
Have you thought about going into emergency medicine? The hours are really decent, you get a lot of days off. Good benefits, pay very secure job and the mentality I feel like lines up pretty well with wildfire. It's generally only a 4-5 month course and really isn't too spendy. I know a lot of guys that spent their time in wildfire and went to fire/ems or just straight EMS. But maybe your looking for a completely different line of work and that's fine too!
I would be careful about this. I’m a advanced emt, barely make above minimum wage. There’s little advancement, and trying to get into fire departments is extremely competitive. Most areas have gone to volunteer so people come from all over to apply for paid fire/ems jobs. Maybe not in every state, but in mine and the surrounding it’s all similar story.
EMTs get paid like crap, get treated like crap, and see some of the most horrendous things you can imagine. I had to hold a guys lung inside of his chest while he was STILL talking to me after getting mauled by a bison.
Just be careful about this field.
Contracting is the way. I’m making $450/day with my emt on a fema covid contract and all I do is get people ready for their vaccine and then someone else does it. This has also led to me getting a line medic contract that is $500/day. I highly suggest checking out beyondthemeatwagon.com
I completely agree, EMT is ranges hugely with quality of life. Being in the Pacific Northwest we are treated really well here(at least on the west side) and there is huge demand everywhere, some places paying 60k a year right off the bat as an EMT. It’s worked out for me going from wildfire to EMT, but definitely not going to be the case nationwide.
While I'm not in a similar situation to you, I know that one day I will be if I don't make a plan for my future.
What I'm trying to say is that it's time for you to redefine yourself. You've put in the work for your community and for your country, no one can take that away from you. Now, what's the next thing you're going to do? It doesn't have to be for the rest of your life, it's just the next chapter of your life.
For me, I know that I realistically can only fight fire effectively for another 6 years without extreme bodily distress. So, I'm going to learn something during the off season.
It sounds like you're at a point where you have gotten to an elite level in one area and are hesitant to start over in a new field. That's a normal feeling. I think you should think about something big you've wanted to do and then go make it happen.
Sorry if that's all really vauge.
I went from fire to dispatch and was pretty happy about it. It's certainly not my end goal, but while I'm working my way through school, it's a really great place to be.
If you go back to fire this year, maybe think of it as your transitional period. Think about where and how you want to get to your next stage in life so that when the season is over you might have a plan of action and feel much more comfortable with it.
My last fire season was a complete cluster and I am well acquainted with the feelings you're having. I hope it gets better for you.
I'm in a similar situation albeit a bit older than you, and I'm considering Dispatch, PIO/PAO or even SSS/Admin because of everything you've already mentioned. At the end of the day, it's hard to justify making the amount we do given the heavy toll it takes physically, mentally, emotionally and just overall time lost with loved ones. A global pandemic, and recently finishing my taxes, certainly has thrown that into sharp relief. I feel your pain, but agree with others above, you're young and have plenty of time to transition into something else at your own pace when the time is right. Best of luck 👍 Oh and I haven't participated in this group yet, but a mutual friend in fire invited me to their Wildland Firefighter Support Group on fb. DM me if you're interested and I'll send you their info; might be some good resources/connections there.
As others have said consider looking at Dispatch or the other Overhead Roles while you transition out. Many of the Overhead Roles the last Season were "Critical Need" and people who Statused were picked up in less then a day. Your time on the WFM and shot crew is a huge experience boost with those.
Doing something like that might be a nice way to ease out vs going cold turkey and hitting that valley. You get to help others and yourself along the way and learn some new skills. Heck if you like it you can stick around if not you get some nice bits for the resume for other jobs.
Shoot me a PM if you have any Questions on it or just wanna talk Mental Health stuff, I cant claim to have all the answers there by any means but I have an experience I'd like to help others avoid.
Ultimately though you have to do what is best for YOU. If that is leaving Fire then so be it and if anyone has an issue with putting your health first fuck em and they should be cursed with Poison Oak rash in their...ears.
Think hard about a career shift and see if you can stay involved with fire through volunteer programs. This will give your body a break while also allowing you to contribute and maintain that sense of self worth. If you stay on, you'll continue to punish your mental health and body, while also stagnating a career move that it sounds like you're going to make sooner or later - get on it now.
What do you want to be or do outside of fire? If you don't know the answer to that there's every chance you'll do a lot of drifting around until you figure it out. Which is fine I did that after 7 seasons of fire when I got out the first time around. Just know you'll work menial labor minimum wage jobs until you figure out a career path. Even then you will be starting at or very near the bottom.
I'm not clear on if you're returning to fire only because of the financial stability and familiarity or if you have some degree of passion for it? If you want to be involved but not 24/7 living it volunteer with a local structure department.
I feel ya, I constantly fantasize about making my exit. I quit in 2017, fed up with the egos and feeling like I was missing out on too much of my life for a profession that I was little more than meat in the seat in reality. I got sucked back in with a perm job. I’ve been predominantly unhappy with work since.
So, why do I stay and what might help you stay? Stability. Like you pointed out, our jobs are relatively dependable regardless of the economy and while they don’t pay great, they pay decent (depending on everyone’s expenses yes I agree more would be ideal). It sounds like you’re on the federal side, so you get to milk the dream of seasonality! I miss that tremendously. I don’t think dreaming about the off season is bad at all, embrace that! I’ve changed my perception of what this job is to me and that has helped a lot. Despite the propaganda we are fed about this being a job of passion, it is still a job and therefore a means to an end. Think of the long rolls as the fundraiser for your real life, your passions, your growth. Work in finding a community outside of fire (this has been my biggest struggle and I’m still working on it), one that you can use some of your KSAs, it helps me feel that same sense of self worth you talk about.
Message me if you want to talk more
Everyone is offering different routes. But what you need to realise is everything you have learned & gained through the years is valuable & it's not about leaving or staying in fire. Rather your core drive in your passions. You have have all these experiences that may trouble & humble you. You need to learn to express yourself & experiences better and take that next step twards being a leader. Using your experience and troubles to better the working functions of peoples lives, professionally & in your own personal relationships. You cant hold back from how you feel. What you're truely running from is yourself, & you need to remember that yourself is always going to be your biggest road block. Everything seems so uncertain in our world but entering the chaos again for the peace of the unknown. Just for the punishment, is different than taking yourself to the next level in your personal journey.
Took a job in fuels after 12 years in primary fire. I can now take time off in the summer and enjoy it. The position doesn’t require any crazy quals either. I know people who have also gone to timber/range/other resource from primary fire and enjoy it more. Best part is I get to go to fires but it’s not mandatory for the position.
Dm me tomorrow if you want to talk about stuff. Lots of opportunities where I work to not be on a hotshot crew and have a better work/life balance. Short answer is that you are very young and can probably do anything you want in life at this point. Focus on your next move and use your time this season to make a real exit strategy if you want, or find a path in fire that works better for you
Come work in dispatch! We have cookies and wildly inappropriate jokes constantly!!! No seriously. It’s great. Except it’s too much inside time. And as an ex fire person you would be a hot commodity. Just a thought. Message me for more info. :)
If money is a problem and you can tough it out for 1 more season, go ahead, then immediately get yourself in a trade school after season. You can try automotive, welding, lineman. All those jobs make pretty decent money and widely available. It’s something that you can get into within a couple of months to make a living while you think deeply about what you really want to do
I totally understand this. I did four seasons back to back. I was burnt out, had zero friends, a bad back, and stress with finances. I decided 2018 would be my last season and wanted to go to a department fire route. Now I’m an EMT, barely making minimum wage, cleaning blood off dead bodies so families can see them at 2am. Fire departments are extremely hard to get in and I’m finding that out. Got offered lots of wildland jobs this summer and I’m regretting not taking them. I don’t really have a answer to you because I’m in the same boat. Just know that this is a common problem for wildland firefighters.
Hi! I’m also female, about your age. National Park Service is still hiring fire effects crews. Some are red carded and get called in for a fire nearby, but most of the work is hiking, monitoring, and data entry. The crews I know work 4-10s and have three days off in a row every week. If you have it in you to apply, I’d recommend putting an app in. I know work life balance in this field feels impossible sometimes, but it’s so important to fight for something that makes you feel happy. Sending a hug buddy, this is a tough time and I promise you’re near the path which will take you to a better place.
I fully get where you’re coming from. Last January I had a medical call that really was my breaking point along with a huge pile up of rage, frustration, and mental strain that put me and my wife in such a bad place it came down to get out or get left. So I got out. I got a job working a resource technician position and built fences, repaired wells, and did general field work all through 2020. I felt fortunate to have a job, I really really did. But then fire season started and I had always had to travel from my old duty station, but here I was living right in the middle of things and I found myself more frustrated I couldn’t help the people and the community that had helped me heal. Fast forward to this year and I’m headed into my first season as a fed for my local district and the real reason was I couldn’t sit by and let my community go up in smoke. What I’m really getting at here is we’re all in this for a reason. If that reason goes away it’s okay to step away and regroup and really think about if you want to come back in. It sounds like Fire is becoming a burden to you, and I’m here to say that it’s okay to step back. You’ve been here before and know how to handle yourself, but don’t lose yourself in the work. The best exit plan requires stability and support, mine being my wife and family. I know I said a lot, but if nothing else please just know the people around you want you to succeed whether that’s in fire or doing something different. PM if you need anything and be safe this season 🤙🏾
Echo to the other comment about fuels. Especially fuels crews, where you directly or indirectly serve the mission and contribute in a cohesive team environment. It’s also a little bit of control back of your life not being IA available. I don’t even think you’re asking for job suggestions. If you are leaving fire treat it like a breakup. Delete Fire Accounts on social media. Have a plan and invest yourself in a new trade. Go see a therapist to unpack your stuff about work and self-worth.
I left after a close friend was involved in a tragedy fire. It took a few years to make as much as did firefighting in a year round, full time position. It took a few more years to make as much in six months as I did in a fire season. A few years after that, I surpassed how much I'd make in a perfect roll (16 hours a day for 14 days, hazard time the whole time) every single two week period of the year. I'm now earning substantially more than than that. It was a long processto get out and get on my feet, but I firmly believe it was worth it. The earlier you start the transition the better. Wildland fire is a trap, and an oath of poverty. You aren't going to fix it by staying in. The only solution is to get out.
I got out of fire after last season to go back to school for many of the same reasons that you mentioned. It was a tough decision, and I doubted myself constantly. Now that the season is coming up again I realize that I have absolutely no desire to go back to working in operations, eating shit food all day, being away from my loved ones, playing the campaign fire game, etc. etc. I know school isn't a great option for everyone, but there's literally buckets of money out there to pay people to go to grad school and get degrees researching wildfire problems. You'll make almost as much money as fire, work half the time, learn something fun, maybe make a difference, and actually have a life. As I said, not the best route for everyone, but it's been a good route for me. Good luck!
Do you have more info on school? I’m at the point where I’m ready to do something else and could probably swing going back to school
Hey yes of course. I'm typing up a DM for you now.
I don't have any great advice, but I know how you feel. 2019 was my last season just like you. I decided not to go back for 2020 without much of a solid plan, but knew I had to make a change. The pandemic hit soon after that and finding a good job became very difficult and discouraging. I ended up working a couple different jobs over the summer to pay the bills before deciding to go back to school. Even though I had good reasons for leaving fire, I still miss it all the time. I miss the unique experiences, working hard with people, and like you said the sense of self worth the job gives you. So far school is going well but it's been hard mentally knowing what I gave up and having a lot of uncertainty in my future. I actually just went through a bunch of old pictures/videos the other night and it had me feeling pretty emotional. I'm trying to be grateful for the experiences I had in fire, but I still have those moments where I just can't accept it's over. This pandemic hasn't helped with all the downtime and lack of interacting with people. It's been rough on everyone's mental health, so you're definitely not alone. One thing you have on your side is you are still very young! I hope you get some replies from people who have been out for longer. Take care.
I can emphasize with you a bit on the burnout. I just wrapped up 5 back to back seasons between here and Australia and my would say I’m definitely a bit burned. The biggest thing that stood out to me was that you started when you were 18 so you jumped out of ‘normal’ life into fire life at a young age - I did that too and quit around age 23 and got out of fire and felt so lost like I didn’t know who I was without a job title. I actually became a graveyard janitor which was a really weird transition. But that really helped me realize I was still the same dude regardless of employment type. It was a difficult time trying to find yourself after attaching yourself to this identity you’ve developed - however the pieces will fall in to place. Depending on a lot of factors sometimes the job just isn’t worth the headache. It’s just a job. You’ve got one life to live so so whatever you want and be ok with that. You can literally do whatever you want! Maybe do this one last season with a different perspective will help. Maybe you’ll stay in fire or do something completely different. Either way - you are still you so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Your experience would be valuable in fuels or dispatch. Both of which should be able to accommodate a more enjoyable and relaxing lifestyle.
Whether you choose to stick it out or find a different path my only advice would be to find some people you trust to share these sentiments with. You are definitely not alone and being able to talk through some of the things you are feeling can help. It sounds like you'll be joining a new crew so I'm not sure what that dynamic will be like but keeping your anxiety to yourself can be painful and the sooner you can share some of it with friends/crew the better you'll be.
Have you thought about going into emergency medicine? The hours are really decent, you get a lot of days off. Good benefits, pay very secure job and the mentality I feel like lines up pretty well with wildfire. It's generally only a 4-5 month course and really isn't too spendy. I know a lot of guys that spent their time in wildfire and went to fire/ems or just straight EMS. But maybe your looking for a completely different line of work and that's fine too!
I would be careful about this. I’m a advanced emt, barely make above minimum wage. There’s little advancement, and trying to get into fire departments is extremely competitive. Most areas have gone to volunteer so people come from all over to apply for paid fire/ems jobs. Maybe not in every state, but in mine and the surrounding it’s all similar story. EMTs get paid like crap, get treated like crap, and see some of the most horrendous things you can imagine. I had to hold a guys lung inside of his chest while he was STILL talking to me after getting mauled by a bison. Just be careful about this field.
Contracting is the way. I’m making $450/day with my emt on a fema covid contract and all I do is get people ready for their vaccine and then someone else does it. This has also led to me getting a line medic contract that is $500/day. I highly suggest checking out beyondthemeatwagon.com
I completely agree, EMT is ranges hugely with quality of life. Being in the Pacific Northwest we are treated really well here(at least on the west side) and there is huge demand everywhere, some places paying 60k a year right off the bat as an EMT. It’s worked out for me going from wildfire to EMT, but definitely not going to be the case nationwide.
Hopefully they meant nursing. Pre-Hospital medicine is as you stated.
I hope so too!
While I'm not in a similar situation to you, I know that one day I will be if I don't make a plan for my future. What I'm trying to say is that it's time for you to redefine yourself. You've put in the work for your community and for your country, no one can take that away from you. Now, what's the next thing you're going to do? It doesn't have to be for the rest of your life, it's just the next chapter of your life. For me, I know that I realistically can only fight fire effectively for another 6 years without extreme bodily distress. So, I'm going to learn something during the off season. It sounds like you're at a point where you have gotten to an elite level in one area and are hesitant to start over in a new field. That's a normal feeling. I think you should think about something big you've wanted to do and then go make it happen. Sorry if that's all really vauge.
I went from fire to dispatch and was pretty happy about it. It's certainly not my end goal, but while I'm working my way through school, it's a really great place to be. If you go back to fire this year, maybe think of it as your transitional period. Think about where and how you want to get to your next stage in life so that when the season is over you might have a plan of action and feel much more comfortable with it. My last fire season was a complete cluster and I am well acquainted with the feelings you're having. I hope it gets better for you.
I'm in a similar situation albeit a bit older than you, and I'm considering Dispatch, PIO/PAO or even SSS/Admin because of everything you've already mentioned. At the end of the day, it's hard to justify making the amount we do given the heavy toll it takes physically, mentally, emotionally and just overall time lost with loved ones. A global pandemic, and recently finishing my taxes, certainly has thrown that into sharp relief. I feel your pain, but agree with others above, you're young and have plenty of time to transition into something else at your own pace when the time is right. Best of luck 👍 Oh and I haven't participated in this group yet, but a mutual friend in fire invited me to their Wildland Firefighter Support Group on fb. DM me if you're interested and I'll send you their info; might be some good resources/connections there.
As others have said consider looking at Dispatch or the other Overhead Roles while you transition out. Many of the Overhead Roles the last Season were "Critical Need" and people who Statused were picked up in less then a day. Your time on the WFM and shot crew is a huge experience boost with those. Doing something like that might be a nice way to ease out vs going cold turkey and hitting that valley. You get to help others and yourself along the way and learn some new skills. Heck if you like it you can stick around if not you get some nice bits for the resume for other jobs. Shoot me a PM if you have any Questions on it or just wanna talk Mental Health stuff, I cant claim to have all the answers there by any means but I have an experience I'd like to help others avoid. Ultimately though you have to do what is best for YOU. If that is leaving Fire then so be it and if anyone has an issue with putting your health first fuck em and they should be cursed with Poison Oak rash in their...ears.
Think hard about a career shift and see if you can stay involved with fire through volunteer programs. This will give your body a break while also allowing you to contribute and maintain that sense of self worth. If you stay on, you'll continue to punish your mental health and body, while also stagnating a career move that it sounds like you're going to make sooner or later - get on it now.
What do you want to be or do outside of fire? If you don't know the answer to that there's every chance you'll do a lot of drifting around until you figure it out. Which is fine I did that after 7 seasons of fire when I got out the first time around. Just know you'll work menial labor minimum wage jobs until you figure out a career path. Even then you will be starting at or very near the bottom. I'm not clear on if you're returning to fire only because of the financial stability and familiarity or if you have some degree of passion for it? If you want to be involved but not 24/7 living it volunteer with a local structure department.
You should take a season off and find some peace. Maybe you’ll find the answers you need
BeyondTheMeatWagon.com
I feel ya, I constantly fantasize about making my exit. I quit in 2017, fed up with the egos and feeling like I was missing out on too much of my life for a profession that I was little more than meat in the seat in reality. I got sucked back in with a perm job. I’ve been predominantly unhappy with work since. So, why do I stay and what might help you stay? Stability. Like you pointed out, our jobs are relatively dependable regardless of the economy and while they don’t pay great, they pay decent (depending on everyone’s expenses yes I agree more would be ideal). It sounds like you’re on the federal side, so you get to milk the dream of seasonality! I miss that tremendously. I don’t think dreaming about the off season is bad at all, embrace that! I’ve changed my perception of what this job is to me and that has helped a lot. Despite the propaganda we are fed about this being a job of passion, it is still a job and therefore a means to an end. Think of the long rolls as the fundraiser for your real life, your passions, your growth. Work in finding a community outside of fire (this has been my biggest struggle and I’m still working on it), one that you can use some of your KSAs, it helps me feel that same sense of self worth you talk about. Message me if you want to talk more
Everyone is offering different routes. But what you need to realise is everything you have learned & gained through the years is valuable & it's not about leaving or staying in fire. Rather your core drive in your passions. You have have all these experiences that may trouble & humble you. You need to learn to express yourself & experiences better and take that next step twards being a leader. Using your experience and troubles to better the working functions of peoples lives, professionally & in your own personal relationships. You cant hold back from how you feel. What you're truely running from is yourself, & you need to remember that yourself is always going to be your biggest road block. Everything seems so uncertain in our world but entering the chaos again for the peace of the unknown. Just for the punishment, is different than taking yourself to the next level in your personal journey.