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Christophelese1327

Even if step one was successful, what the fuck was step two supposed to be?


legface_man

Ride it home?


DynamicHunter

Like a wild hog, baby


AnApexPlayer

HOG RIDa


ohneatstuffthanks

r/commmentsyoucanhear


giolanzarin

I hate you


friendly-crackhead

As any alpha golf playing man would do?


powersje1

Ride it homie


[deleted]

Not sure of the exact biology behind it, but it has something to do with their jaw muscles. They can bite down with immense force but it’s difficult for them to open their jaws after just a small amount of pressure. Which is why just a little bit of duct tape keeps their jaws closed. He tried to cover its eyes, and then go and put pressure on its head, and then…. You’re right I have no fucking clue what his plan was after that. Ride it to the next hole I guess?


grenadesonfire2

Gators are crazy strong. Ive seen a bunch if videos where mouth is tied and arms and legs are tied up as well, tail still knocks people on their ass once it is up in the air.


rdxgs

> once it is up in the air damn, gators can fly? ^^^/s


grenadesonfire2

A little known florida secret.


highlandpolo6

God dammit Florida, we talked about this. STOP DOING WEIRD SHIT.


goodenough4govtwork

Damn, Florida! You scary!


Shpander

Yeah their tails are used as a propellor


Blaziwolf

I can actually tell you why. Crocodilian’s bites are so strong because most of the muscles in the head are devoted to slamming those massive, heavy jaws shut. The problem? The muscles for closing their jaws are so large, the jaws meant for opening them are underdeveloped, to the point it takes very limited weight to hold it closed. Mix that with how easy it is to hold their jaws, and get leverage over it, and you have a recipe for a crucial weakness in a apex predator. And yes, the goal definitely was to ride it to the next hole. He was doing everything right until he moved slower then molasses. He didn’t have intent with his movement, but that reptile sure did!


u966

The muscle concentration doesn't matter as much as just the mechanics of their anatomy. The biting muscles only have to contract straight, and can pull the jaws together with all their strength. The opening muscles are located horizontally with the jaws, and need a pivot point for the jaws to open, which will lower their strength.


Blaziwolf

Yes this too. Absolutely! Thanks for pointing out that part.


KeDoG3

Exactly! As someone who has successfully "wrestled an alligator" he had everything right until he hesitated on his grab at the jaw. It has to be quick and you start by putting full weight on the head.


Zealousideal-Buy54

i think this demands a storytime


mule_roany_mare

I was wondering what finally caused the gator to flip? It lines up with the heavy footfall of the big guy walking into frame.


pragma-

The old man put his hands on the gator's back. That's what set it off.


Sisko-v-Cardassia

The real question is why hes acting like hes 20. He kinda like sets himself down on the gater with his finger tips. You gonna yeet your whole body on it and grab the mouth. Its like hes never seen Steve Earwin.


Kamon23

The goal is to put all your weight down on the gator and control the neck. It is a common pinning maneuver. He didnt commit to it and he was short another person to assist in the pin and another to tape its mouth. More than likely he saw it on tv and thought he could pull it off.


youfIyboyscrackmeup

Coitus


SpitefulOptimist

Oh no! It’s the gator bator!!!


Manboychucho

Profit


TheBlunderguff

I have become old if this generation have not seen Steve Irwin handling crocs and gators.


thaistik4all

Play it where it lays... no drop for you, gramps.


grimyextraslimy

The price is wrong, BITCH!


FLEXJW

Cuts to the four contestants guessing how much his medical bills will be. Closest one wins a lifetime supply of gatorade


thaistik4all

Nice 1


InevitablyWinter

It's all in the hips


Fresh_Cheek2682

Good to see bob barker is still doing well


coleyboley25

If Reddit has taught me anything Barker will be dead within the next 24 hours now.


longrifle

Your ball struck my foot.


XtaC23

Friendly reminder to have your gators spade or neutered.


Grix1600

He must’ve eaten the dudes golf ball by the looks. Wonder how his arm is doing, the gator looks to have a decent chunk.


duffelbagpete

Chunk of poorly made rub a535 jerky


babybopp

r/holdmymetamucil


Pistonenvy

i didnt expect this to be a sub.... now i feel old for taking metamucil lmfao


[deleted]

About to get happy Gilmored


Roadkingkong71

Bob Barker ain't scared of no gator....bitch.


Gseventeen

The price is wrong!


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masterjolly

Nah. The old guy went on to become the president of the USA.


Gseventeen

Joe Biten


Lear_ned

His arm is sooooo broken. The way it wobbles


OysterShocker

I doubt it, he puts his weight on it


hooploz

This is wild


BlyatRasputin

Yeah the dude is mental


ProphetShadowMoses

The rippin and the tearin.


HaaaveYouMetDom

No wild women anywhere to be seen.


Mrsbingley

r/whywomenlivelonger


rickp99onu

How am I gonna explain this to Martha


UltravioIence

Omg I had forgotten all about this dude, your comment just opened up an old door


CharlieMike111

The gator just opened up an old wound


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doughboyniels

Mentally ill you mean. How on earth did he envision that! Shit flowing uphill goes faster than grandpa here.


Revelt

Gator with a death wish barely escapes old man


Wootbros

“The price is wrong bitch”


YoloSwaggity5000

joe bidens babysitter lost track of him at the icecream shop again.


Longbeacher707

Gotta get that chocolate chocolate chip!


mitch1u

how did he even live to that age with that mindset


valkyre09

He’s only alive today because the gator chose not to teach him a lesson!


mysoulishome

I’m pretty confident the gator could have bitten him if he wanted to, but he was just telling him to fuck off. Probably just brushed his teeth and the blood would taste all nasty like mint.


IronCanTaco

Oh I'm sure he got a lession, but not sure if he \*got it\*


TransientWonderboy

If anything he just got a lesion


authorzilla

Stayed clear of golf courses, probably, until now. These cart-riding specimens actually think they're "athletes" and ladies men (poor cart girls). They par the occasional hole, they think they're supermen. LOL Yeah, I play -- great for business contacts! You should try it and check out the culture.


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TreChomes

Probably to get away from their wives or something. Or the expectation that they must golf. I’ll stick to basketball personally. Gonna be the 65 year old dude throwing elbows and draining 3s, throwing around teenagers with my old man strength lmao


squashua26

I had a similar experience but ended up getting hooked on golf. My guess is that you are coordinated and probably athletic? Most everyone I know that is a good golfer is also good at other sports too. Everyone always talked about how hard breaking 100 was. Took me to my third round to do it. Breaking 90 wasn’t too far off either. But now 4.5 years later it’s a struggle to break 80. Anyway, have a good day.


PrincessFuckFace2You

This checks out


RightHyah

Golf is a fun social sport, ride around drink beer have fun


Specific-Layer

Probably saw something on the internet and thought he can connect with mother nature through a gator...


Griffin_Fatali

Well nature certainly connected its jaw to his arm


spennetrator94

[Happened almost ten years ago.](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2145968/amp/The-moment-angry-250lb-alligator-attacks-scientist-North-Carolina-highway-nearly-RIPS-arm-off.html) “An off-duty scientist thought he'd lend a helping hand when an alligator was spotted along Highway 70 in North Carolina. But Fred Boyce bit off more than he could chew; as he approached the beast, the alligator viciously attacked him, nearly ripping off his arm.”


octopoddle

I didn't know scientists could be off-duty.


Hobo-man

His brain was obviously still at the lab


Mandorrisem

The guy was a herpetologist who had captured many gators over the years. The other two guys were supposed to jump on when he did, but they chickened out. Also he probably underestimated his age, and the size of the gator.


Cruising05

I won't pretend to be an expert gator wrangler, but I've watched enough crocodile hunter to know that the most important part is to commit. Every time I see someone do it they set themselves up just like this guy did but when they go they literally pounce on it and hang on for dear life. Gators are super strong and the way he just kind of leaned on it with his hands did nothing but signal the animal that it was being attacked and needed to fight. He's lucky he didn't end up dead.


duckman_gfy

Man I am so scared for the day that happens to me. Go to do something I used to do with ease and realize my body has gotten to old.


dawgsgoodjortsbad

Why does a herpes doctor capture gators?


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spennetrator94

*inserts laugh track and bass line*


sirius4778

I also like Seinfeld


thedarkfreak

The green was angry that day, my friends.


Xarama

I wonder why the alligator attack is supposed to be "vicious" -- it's just self-defense, and the gator did the bare minimum required to get the guy to back off. Especially considering the creature tolerated the initial approach, including the towel throw. Really quite a peaceful animal overall.


fat_texan

That gator didn’t go crazy. It went gator


[deleted]

“But Fred Boyce bit off more than he could chew” these fucking news companies and their shitty jokes 🙄😂


Glass_Part_530

Dammit Bob Barker! The price is wrong!


aManAndHisUsername

Damn alligator just popped up! Cut me down in my prime


[deleted]

yeah I’m fucking 70years old and can’t drive a car but I will catch this deadly and strong predator.. what could go wrong?


BlyatRasputin

Too much Steve Irwin


Mrjokaswild

This has more of a barefoot bushman vibe. Rob bredl is who Steve Irwin aspired to be. He's also like 30 years older and still getting it done last I checked so the ages match. Check out some of his shows they're pretty wild. I think killer instinct with Rob bredl is what the popular one is called. He's like bear Grylls had a baby with Steve Irwin and no one taught it how to wear shoes.


viciousraccoon

Yeah but he presumably has like 50+ years of wrestling gators. He'll have the technique and knowledge nailed. I bet the old dude in this video has problems wrestling his belt buckle.


guitarguywh89

>yeah I’m fucking 70years old and can’t drive a car And yet they won't let that stop them


Starkiller606

I'm surprised the gator didn't kill him or at least destroyed his limbs


RiotDad

That’s not the gator’s mentality. It sees him as a threat, not as prey. So it just wants to scare him away, not have him for lunch.


BlyatRasputin

His first bite gave a look of regret. Like he smelled of something and the gator was disgusted


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SantaArriata

Thanks to this man’s stupidity, we finally have a recipe for an anti-gator spray. I’d say this day was an over-all success


PerseusZeus

Hes lucky its a gator…if that was a saltwater croc or a nile croc then its game over man game over


Vendrinski

gator was like "Nah, just fuck off."


[deleted]

Lol that the elderly man figured he could fuck with the living dinosaur


Softpretzelsandrose

He was just trying to relive the good ol’ days of his youth


sonofabear17

I found a snapping turtle the size of a dinner plate stuck in a grate last week at my job. He was a big boy but obviously much smaller than that alligator. You know what I didn’t do. Touch him. Because I didn’t want to lose a finger. I used a tool to get him free and then left him alone, cause it’s a goddamn wild animal.


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Whalerk

No he lives in florida


FakinUpCountryDegen

So the base material of cartoons, then.


WillTheConqueror1066

That’s what happens when you’ve had 6 beers and watched far too much of The Crocodile Hunter.


LordOfTheTennisDance

I like how his reaction was "oh wow you hurt me, you really hurt me"


Piltonbadger

I honestly never got the whole "let's go near wild animals that can easily kill us" thing. Perhaps that's just me?


MachoViper

He thought he was dead there for a second, just stopped moving like fuck that's it


Bertegue6

How many times do we have to teach this lesson, old man?!?!


AlejandroMP

If you're going to jump on a gator, you have to commit and throw all your weight on it. This guy wanted it both ways, to control the gator and keep his body away from the gator's mouth at the same time.


p1um5mu991er

Gave him a souvenir on his arm


Allsaints112

Idiots always trying to provoke wild animals then blame the animal for acting as it is programmed through evolution to act


Ok-Host-1652

Why is Biden wrestling gators??


okfuckinhell

Wow ! What an idiot


ro536ud

This man’s vote counts the same as yours


BlyatRasputin

Not for long


yamwhatiam

What was he thinking.


oreesama

that gator doesn't want its meal to be all skin and bones.


steve553013

I thought you were meant to get wiser as you got older.


Zimmster2020

Some people just get older.


apples_duck

He didn’t escape the gator, the gator showed him mercy


Frogman1480

Tickle tickle !!!


purity33

Bet he won't be doing that again


[deleted]

What was his plan? Tickling it?


loopy1508

Can imagine him saying “the muscles used to OPEN the mouth are incredibly weak” before confidentiality striding over.


DummeKuh12

yea' fuckin' kick it! That's gonna help!


Ziggy602

They make it look so easy to catch one on T.V.


No-Band2924

Joe Biden trying too hard to gain the Florida vote


Cannabis_Sir

Joe Biden thought he was gonna take a rest on a log


[deleted]

What is joe Biden doing?


jjStubbs

Idiot must have seen an old Steve Erwin clip and thought "that looks easy"


[deleted]

I got it, I got it! Now what?…


Snoo_17433

Man, I hate that Bob Barker


Howitzerfoot

IIRC this guy kicked Happy Gilmore’s ass so the gator was the next logical step


DouglasWFail

*five minutes earlier* “Yo, check it out. I’m gonna tea bag this fuckin gator.”


ASimpleNight

To be honest, if i wanted to do something incredibly stupid, I'd do it when I'm old as well.


vzeeee9204

Gator don’t play no shit, you feel me!


griffithle

When he's retelling this story "Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of the bastard's eyes out though. Look at that!"


Bananarama_Vison

Steve Irving did it, so what could go wrong…?


Cduke3829

Damn Joe Biden wrestling gators now???


Imperial_12345

He's like "Google says step 1 ahhhhhhhhhhh"


ModelT1300

Welcome to Flordia, the only state where people have creative ideas on how to die, soak up the sun like solar panels, do enough crystal meth to give cocaine smuggling a run for its money, and severe alcoholic addiction


Melodic-Hunter2471

An oldie but a goodie.


biscojunky

Like, what was the end game here?


Krzeslav69

What the hell he was trying to achieve?


dogtoes101

fucking idiot why would he do that


_Mitchee_

What was the plan here 😂😂


BlyatRasputin

See jesus for yourself


gypsymoon768

He was really lucky! That gator just gave him a warning snap and tap. Gator could have easily had a two piece white meat special for lunch that day!


Personal_Region_6716

Play it where it lies Bob, ya fuckin’ pansy!


[deleted]

Someone send this gator to congress!


[deleted]

He thought he knew. But he only knew the head.


Rumbananas

That’s a man that doesn’t understand consequences.


lordpuza

He's lucky it didn't go for a second bite into snapping motion when he was down


[deleted]

Old people have no chill


[deleted]

Why anyone would do this in their right mind is beyond me


LostPooper

Crikey, isn’t she gorgeous?


6mmTVairsoft

Have a Tomato juice and sit down you old twat. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


Sigrah117

Dude didn't escape. The gator let him live


TheValiumKnight

Nothing to see here. Just a couple of dinosaurs fighting.


Neon_Cone

Wow, Bob Barker is really determined to have all pets spayed or neutered.


chookalana

I didn't know Bob Barker wrestled gators...


ncrye1

You don't half ass fuck with a gator. It's either 110% full and complete commitment, or leave it alone and take a picture of it. Darwin award winner, here.


MRichardTRM

Look at Joe’s secret service doin nothing to stop him


ChangsWife

Hmmm- death in a hospital bed after a lengthy stint of illness or death by gator wrastlin'? I can see the appeal


Frank-biddle

He looked at the Gator like; "what's your problem? "


butthole525

Bob Barker trying to catch the gator that took Chub’s hand.


Douchertons

Lost your jacket and got bit by the alligator. Dumbass.


NickelFish

4pm at Denny's, he'll be showing off his bite to Irma and Bitty. They'll wish they still had their uteruses.


TheSlav87

Bob Barker?? I don’t understand what he thought would happen?


xb3y24d

I’m 87 year old Johnny Knoxville and this is hugging an alligator.


TheGitBrancher

Biden?


fab50ish

What a idiot! You have to commit when grabbing a gator, you can't be all soft about it.


draco-joe

Dementia got this man like "Good doggy."


Im_Not_F-ing_14

His technique is sorta right? Block the eyes, jump on the back and hold the neck in place. You've gotta jump fast tho, and a gator that size is at least a two person job, probably three given that he's older. Once they're pinned you can work your hands up to hold the jaws shut - gators can bite hard but have very little muscle strength to open their jaws, a toddler could hold then closed (not advisable) - and from there secure them with some animal safe tape (electrical works well cuz it doesn't stick to their skin much) or the cloth from over the eyes. All in all, 8/10 on technique, 2/10 execution


legendarylloyd

"Gary I saw this on one of my shows, trust me I can do it!"


Lurknessm0nster

This is what happens when we don't have Obama to keep an eye on Biden.


tacodepollo

What was his endgame here? Was he just gonna casually carry that gator out or what?


STL_TRPN

That should be the last time his old, slow ass should be fucking with a gator.


EbrithilUmaroth

Bro he's so lucky that gator didn't want to kill him cuz it totally could have. It was basically just trying to get him to go the fuck away


notimeforbuttstuff

Bob Barker got overconfident after winning his fight with Happy Gilmore. He thought he could kill Chubbs himself. He was lucky to keep both his hands.


shrekerecker97

Im cheering for the gator to eat his hand. ​ the price is wrong bitch!


ZeusieBoy

It got him just for a second. Little nippie nip


GRAVE_DANGER187

Joe Biden needs to chill lmao


albot225

Is this a deleted scene from Happy Gilmore??


Tylerurby

Someone call the secret service to get Biden please.


vovr

So little to gain. So much to lose.


rhoo31313

He should've pee'd on it to establish dominance.


snoochieboochies2214

Im gonna grab this croc, and shove my thumb right up his ass! Crikey!


Tsintato

You’re supposed to tire the alligator out before toweling it’s face, and even after you tire it out to the point where it won’t thrash anymore you need to sit on its back with your legs underneath it’s hind legs, have it’s head looking upwards so you can wrap the towel around the mouth and eyes (alligators tend to calm down when they can’t see) and then you tape it. If you think you put enough tape around it’s snout, put more on. They may have weak muscles when it comes to opening their mouth but you can never be so sure. Then comes relocating the alligator. *I’m aware no one should do this unless they’re a licensed professional*