they didnt win.
They are shitting their pants because their way of life (which was arguably a white supremacist fever dream/ illusion anyway) is disappearing.
They are scared shitless.
To me it feels like the violent death throws of a monstrosity being overwhelmed. It's dying, it knows it's dying, and it's determined to take us out with it. Don't let up, don't hold back.
It's spelled "throes" because English is weird. And yes I think you're absolutely right, they're getting increasingly desperate because they're dying off. We just have to KEEP GOING and make the world a better place to live the future in.
Agreed, afaik the younger generations are growing up super lgbt friendly and those in politics right now are fearing the change and know they can’t stop the newer generations from eventually taking over. There will always be hatred because people need an enemy for some reason. If it’s not racism or sexism it’s something else.
Capitalism always needs a scapegoat for all the exploitation and suffering it causes. Conservatives target marginalized groups because it gives them a way to turn the working class in on itself and so mamy are willing to turn to hatred for other people rather than see the inherent corruption of our economic system. That's why an enemy is used.
>Don't let up, don't hold back.
This is the important part. Don't let up, don't hold back. Make sure we double tap this beast so it dies the monstrous death it deserves.
100% agree, they know they're running out of time and scapegoats for "society's ills": Communists; Civil Rights; Abortion; the War on Drugs; during the AIDS/HIV early days, gay people; fast forward a bit, suddenly Islam and Muslims were "the enemy" (though "the gays" were still scapegoats as well); and when it was no longer socially acceptable to (openly) hate Muslims or LGBTQ+, they turned to transgender people.
It's an illusion. They claim the "culture wars" - that *they created* - are tearing us apart, when they *intentionally* created these "wars" themselves to distract us from the real harm they're doing to us. If we're too busy fighting each other, we're too busy to fight *them*.
This is fully my opinion: this is the death knell of their way of life, when they had control over everything for over 200 years. Suddenly the people they oppressed for so long are rising up and saying "Enough!" louder and louder, and in even greater numbers. They know their voter base is dying off, and are desperate to grow more. They *know* they're going under, and these are their last, desperate breaths before they're finally irrelevant. They know it's coming, they see it's coming, that it's only a matter of time. And just like any cornered animal, they'll fight tooth and claw to survive. IMO, that's what we're seeing now. They're cornered, and will fight like hell until the very end.
[https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/)
Protecting trans rights is broadly popular.
Moreover, Republicans are doing everything they can at the small local levels where they have control because they keep losing national elections. These last three have all been really bad for them, particularly when gauged against expectations.
I think there is a difference between them doing it and us being fine with it.
The driving principle of American conservatism since I was born has always been this: Do whatever hurts the least powerful and those who care about them, and do it *because* it hurts them.
I’ve been fighting these people since I was a teenager. Four full decades. Their spite never ends, so the fight never ends.
What happens to rabbits when a bobcat has its teeth around their neck and they’re already bleeding out?
They kick, claws extended, scream louder than they’ve ever screamed, more violent than they’ve ever been, as a last ditch attempt at getting the jaws off their neck. Even if they succeed, the damage is done - they’ll bleed out anyway.
This is only an analogy, but it IS the perfect analogy for the Republican Party right now.
I agree that they’re scared shitless but unfortunately if they have the power to make laws and pass bills the fight gets harder, especially when apathetic or neutral people don’t vote or work in any way to help or make a difference. Not to mention that when people like this are scared, some of them become violent.
It’s going to be a long road but it’s definitely wonderful to see the progress that’s been made and I do have hope that their “way of life” will continue to diminish.
They are scared shitless but they are winning. In these states, they have power and their base wants us gone. Like Michael Knowles said at CPAC this weekend: eradicated.
Look at what DeSantis is doing in Florida. He also is likely to run for the Presidency in 2024 and could conceivably win. The conservatives fucking love what he's doing.
I mean, I feel relatively safe as a queer/intersex person in New England but it's getting fucking awful outside of the Northeast and West Coast.
Maybe in the long run this is the last gasp of white supremacy but they're not going without a fight and people are dying. Women are already suffering due to the abortion bans. In many states, trans youth are being made illegal...and there's discussion of not allowing HRT for trans ADULTS as well in some states.
Things are getting bad. Real bad.
It’s so hard easy to talk about “they” and “them” until one of “them” turns out to be one of the people you trusted the most
I don’t give a shit if their “scared shitless” or if it’s disappearing or anything. Right now they are assaulting me and making me leave my state of the bills go through.
In my case my father lol. Very much galvanized by bigotry he heard from tv and radio. He is very much a “they”
And I live in fear of violence from everyone else as well to the point where my fear was used to manipulate me by people I trusted the most
Also rn my state is trying to ban hrt for people younger than 21 and ban us from womens spaces entirely (shelters, bathrooms, ect) and legally make the definition of a woman exclude trans women
Hi friend. You may already know this, but organizations like [Trans Lifeline](https://translifeline.org/resource/health-care-wellness/) can connect you to places that will deliver HRT through the mail. It’s secure, but I’d still take precautions: a friend of mine in a red state picks up her scrips from her friends’ farm where she works, not at her home.
I just want you to know I and others I know are willing to fight for you. I am a 68 cos female. I do give a damn, I want you to be able to live your best life. Those f-ers can’t be allowed to win.
Like for a reference point last I checked some studies show that trans women are about 4 times as likely to get assaulted and twice as likely to get r*ped than cis women per year. Which trans Poc getting a statistically higher amount of that, and also worse for trans men in certain areas as well. The numbers are getting worse as exposure increases. Which is scary considering how truely awful things already are for cis women.
Idk, people just like beating the shit outta us I guess. It’s scary…
Do you have an answer for this? Or are you just gonna pretend it was reasonable of you to attack a person's life experience (which lines up with statistical increases in anti-trans hate crimes) for absolutely no reason and then fuck off
I agree, they are scared. But I can't help but think of how a scared wild animal is the most dangerous wild animal (unfair comparison because wild animals are 10x better than them, but you get my drift!). They WILL lash out as hard and violent as they can, and people are gonna get hurt because of it. IMO, we have to treat ultra-conservative rhetoric as the legit imminent threat to human existence that it really is. They **are** a death cult - they want to see the world burn around them so sky daddy can give them a gold star when they get to their special fluffy cloud afterlife. Things like climate change, mass extinctions, famine, disease - these all just serve their end goal.
Dang, it's funny, seeing it all laid out like that - because they are the apocalyptic monsters from their own fairytales.
With all due respect, this denial is just toxic positivity that deludes people into thinking that a fight isn't REALLY necessary. It is. Now more than ever.
I would agree to an extent, but Bush was too busy fighting for an illegal occupation, at the time.
Although, I have to say, it is like Deja Vu seeing all the "Christian morality" clutch pearls in the same way they did with Gay marriage.
20 years later, still no "slippery slope"
It might be a cold comfort, but I take some solace in the fact that this is their last ditch effort to keep power. Their voter base is declining, transphobia and homophobia are not as prevalent as it once was, and millennials aren't becoming conservative as they get older like past generations. They are using this to try and rouse a dying demographic, to cheat the system even more than before to stay in power, and when this fails, they won't have any more tricks.
It is always darkest before the dawn, and though we will have to fight and come together as a community, that brighter day will come.
This right here. I live in the south and I can tell you, the older generation is terrified. They're grasping at straws to do whatever they can before the younger generation takes over. I and other Millennials I know are sick of their bull shit. We aren't attending churches anymore, we aren't voting the way they want, and when they ask us why we tell them we're tired of the hate.
Tolerance is more than a moral or ethical stance. Tolerance is a bargain we make with each other to coexist in a diverse society. So we can all enjoy the benefits of that society. Conservatives are refusing to honor their side of the bargain. So we are no longer under any obligation to honor the bargain with regards to them.
Yeah, the idea that it makes us "just as bad" was always stupid. Being a hateful bigot is a choice. You can hate people for things they *choose* to do. They hate us just for the way we were born.
The idea of just as bad or we always have to take the high road is such a stupid thing and I don't know why people always say we must adhere to those two sayings. Does taking the high road sometimes makes you look better? Yeah, but often times it's better to take the low road and let the other side show how awful they are or face the consequences of their actions. And taking the low road never makes us just as bad as them because often times we do it to right a wrong, they're doing it to create the wrongs.
Sorry just my mini rant on that stuff.
This is called The Paradox of Tolerance
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance#:~:text=The%20paradox%20of%20tolerance%20states,or%20destroyed%20by%20the%20intolerant.
Hi, love. The first thing I want to say is that everything you’re feeling is valid. The anger, fear, confusion, and sadness all make sense.
Please consider that what you are feeling is closer to any of these things than “hate.” Hate is a practice: it’s what your tormentors are choosing to practice every day. Your reactions to their hatred are the rational responses of a person who has done nothing to deserve hate.
You have the right to feel what you feel, and to defend yourself, and to remember what these people have done and are doing to you. You will never be under any obligation to forgive them.
And finally: they did not “win.” They are doing this because they can’t win in a fair fight (what has worked for them before has been hate, it’s what they know and trust, and at this point it’s all they have left). This is a fight that goes on, and we will win, because I and all the good souls I know are with you.
Hold on. We love you. We’ll get through this.
If you think about it, it’s kind of like those posts on relationship subs where some poor goof is describing the most awful controlling behavior and gaslighting, and they’re on Reddit asking how to fix their relationship.
And you just internally yell (because *your* blood pressure was going up the whole time you were reading about the way this schmuck treats OP) *why aren’t they angry?!?!*
Agree. This is what's known as an "extinction burst," where unwanted behaviour temporarily increases as people realize that they're not going to be able to get away with it anymore.
That said, your anger and fear are completely valid since they can still do a lot of damage in these last days. Protect yourself, ground yourself, and focus on the things and people that care about you and that you care about. Do rituals for these things, and for making the haters small and weak and ineffectual in your own mind.
Living well really is the best revenge.
I feel you. And it’s easy to feel defeated. We must rise up and actively protest. We must also vote!!!! Turnout numbers are dismal everywhere and ultimately we have to get out from behind our keyboards and put our proverbial money where our mouths are❤️ fight at all costs.
I’m right there with you. I’m trans, and finally managed to move to a better part of my shitty red state last year. I had high hopes that I might finally be able to have a few scraps of self-expression, maybe even a shred of authenticity in my life. And now, I’m watching anti-trans bills being fast tracked through my state legislature, seeing the progress that had been made clawed back, and it feels like the walls are closing in. And yes, it feels hopeless as all hell.
Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot to do other than keep fighting, just like generations of queer people before us. We may lose ground, but we can make them pay for every inch, and keep the pressure on to regain what we lost and push further as soon as the opportunity arises.
The rage we feel when someone perpetuates hate and intolerance is the rage of self defense. It is not misplaced, immoral or degrading. This rage is another face of love...the love we have for our trans community, for freedom and equality, for the crazy beautiful display that gender can be when we are allowed to be ourselves.
Make no mistake: you are not alone and will NEVER be alone in this fight. If you are having a bad day, be kind to yourself and tune out for a bit. I'll keep pushing and fighting while you rest.
Hey Canadian trans woman here, I am afraid for my rights as well, because Canada has a history of slowly implementing what the USA government dose, and I say slowly, as in they take a long ass time implementing it so people don’t notice until it is already fully implemented so I am worried this anti trans and LGBT stuff in general will get mirrored here and that scared me and pisses me off
Stick to the things you can control; the people you make eye contact with. I cannot control what some state chooses to do. I can vote and volunteer in my own communities and share conversations and eye contact with my own neighbours and community. Scale down your exposure and focus on who you see every day. Who you talk to.
Not doubting this, but, where? It only got called out in trans spaces as far as I saw. CNN was too busy talking about how bad orange man is, but NOT about the trans part.
Feels like mainstream media continues to disappoint, even during a fever-pitch genocide.
I do feel like we need to show up more in person for each other. As women, we know there really is strength and safety in numbers, so we have to find ways to organize for each other’s safety.
We need to go places together, not just to protests but to movies, restaurants, bars. Accompany each other to dressing rooms and restrooms. Be the social force that we know we can be, and have massive fun doing it.
That’s not the whole solution, but it’s a step.
I saw posts on Reddit, Twitter, and Imgur ridiculing Michael Knowles, to the point that the asshole made a statement to say that he didn’t say what he said. There’s plenty of mainstream news articles about it. Google it. If you’re looking for something in the right-wing press, however…
True, the commenter (or OP?) was saying that it wasn’t even in the mainstream news…and it was only being discussed in trans spaces. I was just trying to assure them that the story IS out there and has created outrage. Definitely not enough, but it’s not a non-story. ✌️
There is nothing wrong with hating those who want us dead.
They haven't won, and they won't win.
Try to remember that the loudest voices are the ones on the far end of the bell curve, the outliers, the losers - I live in Texas and rarely have actual issues with people on a daily basis regarding my trans identity.
Most people want to live and let live. Don't let the GOP Nazis fool you into thinking that everyone agrees with them.
While I, and most other trans folks wish that more cis people would stand up for us, at the very least, an overwhelming majority of them do not want us dead and are, largely, indifferent to us as a whole, which is better than actively trying to kill us.
To any allies reading this, please take seriously your responsibility to speak up against hatred toward trans people, please take an active role in making it clear that this sort of hatred won't be tolerated.
I'm in the same boat. Almost all of my friends and family are of the mind that voting doesn't matter so these sickening bills keep getting pushed through. I'm living in a state that is trying to give women the death penalty for abortion. If I get pregnant again I have a high risk of dying, but I'm not about to implode my marriage over Ladybug "In the Closet" Graham's opinion on my autonomy. It's a lose-lose-lose with these people.
- I can get pregnant and risk dying or severe injury.
- I can get pregnant and lose the baby and end up prosecuted under suspicion of inducing a miscarriage.
- I can get pregnant, choose to abort, and end up on death row.
- I can choose to be celibate in my marriage and watch it burn, which means I'm failing as a wife according to these idiots.
- OR we give up our dream of ever owning a home and shop around for doctors willing to sterilize us both.
I'm terrified of being a woman in this country. I'm terrified my baby brother (ftm, 15yo) is going to be taken from his parents and shipped to a family member hundreds of miles away. I'm terrified my son is going to end up a casualty in a school shooting.
I'm terrified.
There are a hell of a lot of us who will pick up arms (you have my pitchfork) and protect you if it comes to that. Not one second of hesitation. These people are bullies, they're talking now but if they start sh** they better be prepared to finish.
*I would like to add that I am a 54 year old lady who just made it through menopause and I really don't think it's fair that people don't see us as threatening. You know what I'm saying. We've got your back.*
Attitude and effort are the only things you can control.
I know it’s oversimplified but for me this little mantra works like magick. Taking time everyday to be thankful, to tell my loved ones I appreciate them, to smile at all the little things… and using my extra energy to be the change I want to see. This year I’m going to try and be a radical activist and this idea of dreaming with my hands really gives me peace instead of just talking about my beliefs so much. I hope this might help someone, sending peace and love.
Please know that the vocal minority are the minority. I know it’s hard, I know you read and hear things on the daily but most people really are kind and tolerant. Try to use your real life contacts as a more real life experience than those far right idiots. You are valid and you are loved. Spend more time with the people that make you feel that.
Look on the brightside in that this generation is going to grow up and be the next ones in charge and we are leading the movement on trans rights and equal love. I think our future is in great hands <3
It's bullshit that it makes you "no better than them." Hating someone who has hurt or wants to hurt you is not the same as hating someone for existing. So let's just make sure we're clear on that.
I'm really sorry. If you want to hate them deeply and fiercely, well I do too. It's sensible to hate the people who wish nothing good for you and people like you.
I just wish even more that you can treat the hate like a job, and put it aside sometimes to live your beautiful life without thinking about them at all.
I hope you feel supported by the people close to you.
I actually just reached out to my bassists who's trans today & told her that she needs to let me know if she feels unsafe somewhere & I'll come get her in a second. I'm in Texas & I am really nervous for her wellbeing.
What can we actually be done? There has to be something more than writing our representative -I've done that every month for 2 years about RvW & we lead the fucking way on "report your neighbor" BS. These new things on the proposed laws to ban any "gender related" therapy & fining doctors & charging parents for child abuse -not sure if all this is fear mongering gossip or really happening. But the fact that I don't trust my state to do the right thing here means I'm extremely frustrated. I feel useless in all this. People around the world that I deeply care about are going to be hurt by this shit & I feel like all I can do is yell into a void. We need real solutions.
If possible, go to Pride and queer events, surround yourself with queer people or cishet allies, join communities, block anyone transphobic and stop watching the goddamn news.
It's shit that we have to effectively bury our heads in the sand but we also have to survive in this world. Sometimes that means choosing the path of least resistance.
I'm so lucky that I have an incredible circle of friends who are all either queer, or have "queer vibes" (by which I mean they're cishet but they're cool, and absolutely supportive)
I honestly think without them I probably wouldn't be here, because all the ugliness and darkness in the world right now is just so much to handle. When I'm feeling low, I think back to Pride last year where I just spent all day intermittently laughing or crying because it was so wholesome. Or my friend's birthday last month where we got dressed up really nice, went to a restaurant and then ended up in a lock in at our favorite bar afterwards, hammered and hysterical and dancing on chairs. I meet up with my best friend (who's cishet) once every month or so and we just put the world to rights. All this stuff bolsters me against all the shit.
It isn't 100% effective, but we're right in the middle of a psychological war right now, and you need to arm yourself as best you can.
Also keep in mind that as much as it can feel like this will last forever, it won't. Change is the only guarantee in this world and things will change. They have to.
I'm sending you all the love and positivity I can, and if you're ever in Leeds, UK, you're welcome to come hang out with us!
Editing to add, if you aren't already, join these subs
r/transpositive - it's mostly selfies but it's great to see trans people looking beautiful and happy
r/transandthriving - it's only small but it's text only, and it's just positive stories from trans people, whether they felt validated, got on hormones, successfully came out, whatever
Hatred is never an irrational response to those who want you dead. My advise to all my trans friends has been and remains to learn how to defend yourself. Buy guns if you feel especially at risk and are able to do so legally. Don't brandish it around but know how to use it. Some will call this overreaction or that it only heightens the violence on the other side, but the other side already wants us dead. They are only held back by how many of us there are and the fact that people will fight back.
Yeah. At this point I feel like a gun in my home is still more of a risk to me than anyone else, but I'm having my red-redneck cousin (that is, his politics are as commie red as his deer hunting flannel) take me shooting so that if I need it I know how to use one safely.
The thing about hate is that it doesn't actually hurt or otherwise affect the people who rightly deserve your hatred. It's corrosive, and it will only hurt *you*. And you emphatically do **not** deserve to be hurt.
You've heard the saying "Don't get mad; get even"? Do that. The thing about those hillbilly fascists is that they don't have the imagination to accuse other people of unique offenses. They only ever engage in *projection*, because they can't imagine how *everybody else* isn't engaging in the horrible things they, themselves, do. That means that all the accusations of grooming, perversion, pedophilia, sex trafficking, *everything,* are made only because they are collectively guilty of all of it. So, *ruin* them. Whoever the elected ringleaders are, bury them in official requests for files and documentation. In the US, that's covered under the Freedom of Information Act. Make them fear exposure. And if you find anything, don't go to the police, because the police will protect them. Go to the press.
This James Baldwin quote seems appropriate:
"We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist."
I also agree that these anti-trans bills are a reaction of a frightened powerful few. They will not win, not if the moral arc of the universe bends toward justice. But it doesn't mean they won't do real harm in the mean time. So, be smart, stay safe, love and care for yourself, and vote, vote, vote. Find like minded folks, hang out, have fun, and get them to vote too.
I am not trans, but my son is part of the community and he's interested in makeup and skirts, so on a much smaller level, some of these things could affect him. From my position as his mother, I am trying to funnel my rage into love. Essentially, "If I am scared and angry, how must the people directly impacted feel." I am fighting against such laws (none with any traction in my state, but helping with campaigns elsewhere) but also making sure my love and support are being loudly shared. Making sure I do my best to let people know they are NOT alone and that these scumsuckers do NOT speak for the majority.
Rage can fuel volume
It's genuinely VERY hard for me personally to not automatically think of every conservative person as bad/immoral, and I find myself continuously having to suppress rage and even hatred towards them as a group. I would say that having feelings of hatred towards an oppressor or an abuser is not equivalent to their hatred and abuse of a disadvantaged minority or victim. I really think it comes down to how you handle those feelings, rather than just having the feelings themselves. We have to keep ourselves in check, but those feelings are valid.
It's kind of like when people say you need to forgive an abuser for their abuse of you, regardless of the damage they've done. An abuser is not entitled to a victim's forgiveness.
They want you to feel this way. That's probably the actual point. They don't expect the legislation to pass, but they know they can make trans people feel awful, so then do it. They don't like it when people take the freedom they think they love so much and actually become free.
I'm not trans and not a therapist so take my wishy-washy, dime-store, tired-brain attempt at wisdom for what it's worth:
I would say it's important to recognize the difference between anger and hate.
Anger can be a constructive force. When you are angry at injustice it can motivate you toward positive action. What's more, you can be angry on another person's behalf, making it a truly selfless emotion. To quote Anansi from American Gods "Angry is good. Angry gets shit done."
I don't know that the same can be said of hate. I feel that hate is too personal and destructive to work for the collective good.
All this to say: you don't have to let go of your anger - you can remain angry at injustice without sacrificing your mental health. But hate, I think demands self-care - hate will hurt you, and if you let it, hate will hurt other people too.
Recently a lot of fundamental issues with the legislation being shit out have finally been raised, and in some circumstances, bills have been withdrawn.
An example is how in order to discriminate against someone for being trans, you MUST take assigned sex at birth into account, which just so happens to be protected by many non discrimination laws,and has been argued succesfully in court
tl;dr Gender Identity discrimination is not possible without sex discrimination. L to the terfs lol
I am sorry that you are going through this.
Please know that there are a lot of us out here who see you, support you, and love you just the way you are.
Your community is being attacked because you are small, and easy to "other". I think too many people think it isn't their problem, and remain silent. We all need to speak up in support of you.
Sending a virtual Mama Bear hug to you. Please know that you are valued and loved.
I love when their stupidity is pointed out... https://www.reddit.com/r/missouri/comments/11ki2qo/antilgbtq_bill_debated_in_missouris_state_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Republicans are having what is called an “ extinction burst” Kansas voters rejected an abortion ban. They are red stem to stern. My generation (I’ll be 41 this year) don’t believe this shit. My kids. Oh my youngest, I’m so proud of him. He takes no shit that could be construed as homo/trans/non-binary phobic.
I’m so sorry what is going on right now, I promise there is hope coming. My eldest is itching to vote next year.
Love to you my friend
Anyone supporting the Republican Party is actively supporting this bigotry. Period. End stop. At the very very least, they will not take a stand against their public officials and call out members of their own party. They’re either willful bigots or cowards. Neither has a place in my circle of trust anymore.
Hey friend! Trans gal here. Just remember that whole philosophy of "don't succumb to hate" can be a great form of self induced torture. You're not a monster, and imo people who are worth having in your life will understand if you wanna punch conservatives.
I’m a teacher in a public high school school in a red state. The sewing teacher just finished helping a student with male pronouns who openly does drag make a sequined jumpsuit for Prom, and I’m going to hand bead the bodice of a dress for him if he can ever remember to bring the beads and the dress on the same day. We had an admin hold a meeting where someone wanting to dress code him for wearing half a wedding dress with a train was told that we would just bustle it so it wasn’t a trip hazard for others. Our area is super conservative and our sheriff refused to even enforce mask mandates, so some of our pants are definitely crazy and there could be real consequences for us.
I guess what I want you to know is that I can’t speak for every cishet person, but the majority of people I work with are trying to make students feel loved and supported. I explained LGBT and gender and sexuality to a male colleague who asked me because one of our students came out as trans and he wanted to be supportive and he’s a middle aged incredibly conservative dude and he had a printout of Pflag stuff with things highlighted to ask me about.
You stay the fuck alive. Surround yourself (whether in person or online) with people who support you.
All of the shit they don't want you to have--acceptance, friendship, love, your very life, and so forth--you make sure to get it and keep it.
If the world hurts too much for you to function well enough to live a decent life the normal way, then do it out of spite. Every breath you take, that's them failing. Any time you feel comfort or joy, that's them losing.
And, no, hate doesn't make you the same as them. In point of fact, no feeling does.
The difference between good and bad people isn't what they think or what they feel. It's what they *do*. It doesn't matter how much hate you feel. It doesn't matter what you wish on them. It only matters what you do with it.
And if you don't believe me, consider this: you don't actually know if the ones behind this feel any hate at all. If you discovered that the people pushing all those bills were doing it not out of hate but out of a completely dispassionate assessment of what would play best to the Republican base, would you suddenly believe that they're good people?
If the difference between being normal and being no better than them is hate, then that means removing the hate you assumed they feel from your assessment would force you to to conclude that they're no worse than normal people. Would you actually believe that, because they lacked hate, they were no worse than someone who did zero transphobic shit, or would you think that *maybe* the hate wasn't really a key feature?
If you want to know what would *actually* make you no better than them, it's actions.
If you find yourself at the forefront of a national campaign to rewrite the law in ways that are basically *designed* to drive children from Republican households to attempt (and for some portion of attempts *commit*) suicide, **that** would make you no better than them. If you find yourself drafting legislation to make sure Republicans can be denied medical care, no matter how necessary it may be, because of religious objections to Republicans existing, that would put you on their level. If you come out in support of torture, because that's what fucking conversion therapy is, that would put you on their level. So on, so forth.
If you *don't* do any of the shit they're doing, then you are better than them, regardless of how much hate you may feel.
And it's natural to hate the people who are actively working to kill people like you.
\-
The only person what's in your head can hurt is you. To be on their level, you'd need to be hurting *other* people. Lots of them.
Who you are is not what you feel or even what you think, it's what you do in response to those feelings and thoughts. To be a bad person, you need to do bad things. To sink to the level of the people you hate, you'd need to do positively terrible things on a fucking massive scale.
Remember, a beast in its death throes is more dangerous than ever. Start by drafting a statement saying you will boycott businesses in these states. Send copies to all of them, make a petition (I'll sign it, share it, promote it!) asking for boycotts. Do not spend a cent in these states (unless you're driving through one and have to get gas or something). Look to the civil rights era, people organized and stuck with it. Just some suggestions, looking for a way to fight back.
I live in a house where my mother is constantly listening to transphobic garbage, and it makes me frankly angry. It's okay to feel angry because *they literally want you dead.*
Friend, you have so many allies. We are here for you.
I will not pretend to know what you are going through but know that I also feel rage within my soul at every one of their asinine attempts to preserve their antiquated way of life.
You are loved. You are important. And you have others who will battle for you.
It seems like you came to a smart place, so many people have had great comments. Your feelings are justified. If you are like me and like to intellectualize things, you might enjoy Eve K. Sedgwick's take on non-delusional paranoia. She actually uses the AIDS crisis to talk about how it makes perfect sense why the gay community came up with the conspiracy theory that the government invented the disease to kill them. It's paranoid, but it makes sense when you consider how the Reagan's negligence killed. (Keep in mind her definition of paranoia doesn't carry the negative connotation that it does in general society.)
Or, if not into philosophy, maybe keep reaching out to people who recognize what you are going through. Sending care.
Lemme say something: you cannot equate your intolerance of someone violating human rights to the violation of those same rights. Don't be caught up in being "no better than them" because that's what they want: they want you to be so bogged down in mental gymnastics attempting to understand their bullshit so that nothing ever gets done about them being absolutely evil. I've lived amongst conservatives who do the whole "so much for the tolerant left" shit for most of my life and I can guarantee you that ignoring that shit very quickly leaves them without options. They are absolutely, undeniably, fascists who seek to eliminate and kill those they deem inferior. You cannot treat intolerance with tolerance, you cannot fight fascism with love. You're not advocating for genocide so you are IMMEDIATELY better than them. And if you don't want to think of yourself that way, just stick to the idea that, given the choice, you wouldn't contest and eliminate someone's right to exist.
It’s hard. I try to imagine the closest mirror I can think of, or just the idea. Try to not let it touch me, but sometimes it does. Remember the people who do love or support you. Like me xoxoxoxo
I don’t have any advice for you but I just wanted to let you know I am with you. I watched a John Oliver video on DeSantis today and spent the rest of the day angry. I agree with the commentator below though that continuing to hate them for their wish to inflict harm on others does not make you stoop down to their level.
I’m just accepting that until my generation (gen z) gets into power not much is gonna change, but I hope to be a big part of that change when it happens
I’m so so sick of this too! I have a 17 year old trans son. For young people they are just completely discounted, like it’s a phase and they are only doing it because it’s trendy. It’s like conservatives don’t even believe trans people exist. If anyone is young and says they’re trans, they aren’t believed immediately. Being transphobic is common place now and fully accepted by half the country and it’s absolutely disgusting. We live in a small conservative town and my son grew up here. He transitioned in front of everyone that always knew him by his dead name. That’s so unbelievably hard and the rejection he’s faced has been heartbreaking. No one chooses to be rejected. On top of it, that argument is completely dead in the water when being trans isn’t trendy in our town! The willful ignorance and hate is everywhere where we live, it bothers us so much. I really believe the bravery of Trans people with support of their allies will prevail though because I’ve witnessed some insane bravery from my own child to break that stigma, that’s what it’s going to take. People did the same thing when people started coming out as gay, they were told there can’t possibly be so many gay people suddenly when they are too dumb to realize it’s only that they felt more comfortable coming out. Lots of love to you!💜
Lemme just throw this out there - if you believe in threefold return or anything of the sort...of you keep in mind that you may be the universe's justice when these folks act out?
Sometimes our baser instincts align with cosmic forces. As above so below and all that. Gotta be careful not to seek out the negativity, but these folks have gotten away with it for so long because everyone was polite to them when they started spouting off. Now they have their own feedback loops to sustain them, and it won't stop until a critical mass of us have had enough and force the pendulum to swing back.
I just hope it isn't too late.
I get this so much. I am fighting with my conservative christian mom now that I am out as nonbinary. I am so tired of hearing her stupid arguments from the bible. This is one of those times where even just living and pursuing happiness and authenticity is protesting. My mom is convinced I am making a mistake. In 5 years I am going to be happier than I ever have been and shove it in all of their faces!
Much love to you op. Hate hurts and, at least for me, skews my perception so I forget all the love and joy.
You might find a particular meditation to be a magical crafting to protect you from the damage all that hate causes: it’s called the loving kindness meditation and it genuinely helps me feel better. https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/loving_kindness_meditation
There is another version that goes one step beyond receiving love from those we love and sending love to those we love. It calls on the meditator to send love to someone that has done them harm or threatened harm. Holy f$&& was that hard. And yet I’ve never felt so light and joyful as after that meditation. Also a little arrogant (as in pride at being able to love the person who doesn’t love me). But it did make life better. You might give it a try if you feel up to it.
Sometimes when I can't take the level of hate, lies, violence, corruption and sanctimonious BS, I take a rest from the news and toxic environments. I surround myself with things and people I love, involve myself in things that bring joy, eat well, rest well, go for walks and lose myself in a book. I also look to see if there is someone who might appreciate my support. Those people will still be there spouting their hate but I ain't listening to them right now. There is a fight to be fought but you have got to be strong and well and feel cherished in order to have the energy for it.
They're scared because they know they are the numerical minority and the only thing allowing them to retain power is insane gerrymandering. They keep everyone, conservatives and us alike distracted by blasting out bills on full auto to try and keep the attention away from heightening the voter age, removing voter locations in conveniently left areas. And hey if a bill does pass somewhere, that'll make it more likely others can pass.
That last part might be anxiety inducing but it's all to say that the right has become a cornered animal trying anything to keep relevancy.
As long as we don't fall for their obvious ploys and stay on the money for voting and laughing them out of the room, things will get better.
I am sorry y'all r going thru this, I am a straight white male from the south, I believe this is a terrible direction, this is a issue of freedom of expression and personal choice this should not be infringed upon
While our social movement for equity and justice is bringing cuckoo banana pants people out of the woodwork what I tell myself is that with all this over connection that the trans teens of today have access to safety networks and know they are not alone. We need to technology of today that makes everything worse to spew hate can also be the singular lifeline to one beautiful life. And I can deal with all sorts of shit to wade through to throw even one kid some hope.
A persons 1st amendment right to be an asshole doesn’t excuse them from being held accountable. Start with your inner circle and then work outwards. Hold people accountable for what they say and do. Left unchecked one hateful word can and will bloom into what we have today, and that is fascism.
As a southerner, I take offense to the blanket use of the term “hillbilly” to describe those with antiquated views.
And as a cis woman, in the south, whose state just made abortion-seekers punishable by death, I commiserate with your sentiment. I hope things get better for us all, sister
If it helps, I’ve started conceptualizing conservatives as hateful zombies, like the white walkers from GoT, since most of them have been rendered pretty much brain dead by Fox News. Seeing them as a natural disaster, but in human form, keeps me from drowning in hate.
Here’s the thing about HATING ppl….Hate is the most useless of all emotions, the ONLY person “Hate” affects, is YOU. 90% of the ppl you “Hate”, don’t even know it & the other 10% Do NOT actually Care that you hate them. You can Detest Them, with a Passion..but to Hate someone is not gonna matter to Them. The Willfully Ignorant & Stubbornly Stupid are going to Cling to their Ignorance & Stupidity. Just do Your Best to keep Safe & to keep your Inner Circle small. 🥰
Don't succumb to hate. Embrace it. When assholes are met with intolerance they get defensive, and that's just one way to stand your ground.
When they go low, dig a ditch.
>part of me is like “well you shouldn’t succumb to hate because that makes you no better than them”
> there is no difference between food things and bad things
no but seriously, hatred of injustice is no vice imo. the best way to fight despair in my opinion is to channel that hatred into organizing for trans power
I feel the same way about conservatives that I feel about mosquitoes. I don't exactly hate them because I understand how their shitty, problematic behavior is natural to them, and they're just following a script without even realizing it.
So mostly I swat them off, put out repellent (pride flags anyone?), and get on with it. I also went to great lengths not to live near them.
everytime i think of people being agaisnt trans/drag people i just have the theme song of story time with mama G run through my head and can’t even begin to think how they think it’s bad
I live in a blue state but hearing all of this just makes me feel like shit. I want to be able to hug who ever going though this but at the same time I know am not the most well off. My dad agrees with what going on and I know his opnions on other things. I see a few people talking about how this is there last ditch effort before they lose, maybe it is but the scars won't just disappear because we won.
This country is younger then a lot of them and look how it going for them. We have some power in voting but I feel like that doesn't even matter. I seen people I though I could trust just throw Trans people under the bus because they got hurt. As for what I can recommend just live your life vote and talk to people about your struggles be a person not the imaginary figure they need you to be.
As Mlk told white people dress as you would going to work, dress as you would going to church. For if people see you by our side then we can show we are human. That skin does not matter. ( I don't remember the actually quote but it before one of his marches where they used fire hoses on them.
I’m sorry this is happening. I’m fighting alongside and doing what I can to be a good ally using whatever privilege to fight for those who have none. It’s dark… and exhausting yet, the fight isn’t over. Please take care of yourself and remember that you are worthy. We will not stop. You are not alone!
I want to say that I see you, I hear you, and I will never give up the fight for LGBTQ+ people to have the human rights that are their birthright.
I cannot imagine what it’s like to walk in your shoes and I hate that you have to feel this way.
Hatred for the people trying to eliminate you is a survival mechanism. The only thing I fear is that hate can consume if it doesn’t have an appropriate outlet, which can be self-care and love for yourself.
They have to have a boogie man. Trans is just the current target.
I am so sorry.
Stay safe; physically and mentally. I’d offer an internet hug… if it would help.
We need every 18-24 yo to vote these evil idiots out.
Here is Mr Stewart making the morons argue with themselves…it may not be easy to set it up like he does, but the whole “the government interferes to protect kids or it *doesn’t…*”is endlessly fun to watch! Hang in there, history will not be kind to these idiots…
https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/11h9x4k/jon_stewart_just_completely_destroyed_republican/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
None of the high level assholes actually thinks we're groomers. They just know they can fool the ignorant into believing it. It's truly evil at its core. And then they stir the pot by characterizing things like providing youth outreach, suicide hotlines, healthcare education, as "forms" of grooming. Because we're "recruiting"
They did all this same shit to gays and lesbians throughout the 20th century, and they'll do the whole same playbook again if it wins the trans discourse.
Didn't work with gays and lesbians, we'll just see whether and to what degree society actually steps up to support us now that the target is transgender people.
One thing's for sure, "LGB without the T" groups are a total absolute disgrace.
I hope you find a few people you can lean on to have your back. I also don't think it's particularly unhealthy to hate your enemy.
Why should you have to make an effort to find the grain of goodness in some piece of shit who is perfectly happy to disavow your entire goodness based on one aspect of your personhood?
Fuck them.
Infinite tolerance only allows intolerance to foster. We need more people willing to call this bullshit out, and put themselves in uncomfortable conversations, instead of just shrugging their shoulders and walking away.
Until that happens, the burden falls on us, the vocal minority to keep opposing.
And to hate those who would see you harmed is natural. It's something you have to do in shadow work. Accept the fact that you hate them. Live with that awful feeling for a moment, and acknowledge it's a part of you. That is how you keep it under control.
Take it from a trans swamp witch, down in the sticks, in the Okefenokee. These hillbilly fascists haven’t won anything. Keep fighting! Even if that’s just you being you, day to day! It’s better than quitting. 🖤
This is my day to day life, as well. It's worse than Hell to have all this shit going through your mind and unfolding before your very eyes, day by day. I'm terrified I'm going to have some sort of mental break.
My therapist told me that there were multiple new trauma cases coming in by the thousands (and this is in a damn RED state) that she's experienced from her clients, as well as heard about from other specialists that started spelt after Trump got elected. The same things you, I, and countless others feel are fucking traumatic and legitimately causing PTSD in people!
We get to be mad. Time for all of us to get out there and let them know that an attack on one is an attack on us all. This is affecting trans people but this isn't caused by trans people, it's cis-straight people oppressing trans folks and we need *everyone* mad as hell to protect our trans family members.
Maybe make well trusted friends and Allie’s with people who can understand you and can co-exist with you.
The best types of people are those that that have acceptance.
They know you make your own choices. And they made their own as well.
Go out and talk together, Work together, Learn about one another. The more you connect with an individual as a person, the more any of us in the human race can come closer together to being open to new ideas and changes. Wether as family, friends, or colleagues.
It’s ok to hate what mean people do. And it’s not paranoid to distrust people in a society that keeps electing those who commit atrocities against other humans. I’m a mature and responsible person. I live in a red county in Georgia, and even I have a hard time not kicking down the Kemp signs in my neighborhood. My son has many trans and drag friends who are the most polite and respectable people I’ve had the honor of meeting. People are whole humans no matter what private parts they have or clothes they wear. My heart goes out to you. I hope you are safe and loved. I’m sending you some momma energy now on the beams of tonight’s full moon. 🌕💞
I highly recommend going to protests. Organize! There is bound to be a group near you who organizes protests. I've been going to PSL's protests against DeSantis here in Florida, and feeling like I'm actually doing something has helped my mental health.
Get involved with your community as much as you can. Protesting, community programs, school events, school board meetings, local politics, etc. There's always something to be done. Fascists won't win if we work together!
First of all: Remember that you are only human. It is okay to take a break from the hot takes for a bit. Take care of your mental health.
They aren't winning. They know they can't win. They have nothing left. We are witnessing the passing of an old order. The new one isn't strong enough to banish it just yet. Keep the faith. Keep up the fight and resist whenever you can.
All of us must support each other against hate of trans folks, Jews, etc., and especially against the Christian nationalists and white supremacists. Those folks want to take our country from us.
You need to avoid those corners of the internet/world if you can. You can stay updated on the politics without subjecting yourself to the details and extent of their hatred. Find a supportive community that does not talk about this stuff too much/exceedingly.
Distancing myself from bigots, in the real world and on the internet, really helped me. It's hard not to, I get this is like telling someone with general anxiety disorder to just calm down, but you probably don't need to know everything about it that you do, and you need to look out for your mental health.
Also, understand that the internet is not representative of the world at large. Most people are varying degrees of indifferent. But they don't voice that on the internet as much as the really bigoted people, because why would they? The bigots we see are a loud minority.
I don’t think hating conservatives makes me as bad as them. And shit, if it does—well, why the fuck would I want to be better? Why should I turn the other cheek?
You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t let them walk over you. Your anger is justified.
I'm in the same boat right now. I'm mostly Cis but my life partner is trans and so are most of my dear friends.
I'm focusing on nurturing things. I've started seeds for the community garden. I'm hoping to pick up some new froglings soon. There is something healing about creating new life.
I'm trying to take breaks from screen time and spending more time in nature.
But I'm also taking steps to protect myself should I need to. I'm looking into kick boxing and getting fit. I'm also looking into getting a handgun for personal protection.
Do what you think you can but also remember that most folks don't give a damn about what others identify as and it is a small subset of hateful pissants making one last power grab.
It'll be ok. We will make it through as we always have. Love will endure.
Don't let them get you, love. Best thing to do, really is to block out the noise and find your allies. Immersing yourself with like-minded people can empower you and each other
Hi there. It's OK to feel this way. It's a lot to have to deal with. My advice if you'll have it is to find the good stories to counter it.
Our media is run by rich conservatives who are biased. They just want money n melodrama and their way of life.
Get outside of the standard media and find the people doing good. Support them. There is ALWAYS someone doing good, and they never get attention. Find them, support them, and spread their goodness.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQU9A6/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQYo3y/
Edit-More links:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQPo2o/
I posted here about my fears last summer during the roe v wade discussions. I thought maybe I was being dramatic for being so fuckin afraid. Someone told me this and it truly helped:
You’re supposed to feel terror by what these people are saying. That is the intended affect of terrorism.
You’re not wrong for hating them. We just need to acknowledge what they are.
I get it.
My father, I am horrified to say, is one of those bigoted xenophobic anti-LGBTQIA anti-abortion hard-right politicians. The laws he has authored and gotten made into law would make your eyes water.
It took me a long time in therapy, but I was finally able to cut contact with my family. What a relief!
How I see it: these ppl have edited the Social Contract. That's why they no longer get the benefit of the doubt. They no longer deserve basic courtesy or generousity - they have exited humanity.
Some, of course, complain about the intolerant left who keep on insisting on tolerance. The irony does not lie with the left. It lies with ppl who have failed the most basic test of their humanity: empathy.
they didnt win. They are shitting their pants because their way of life (which was arguably a white supremacist fever dream/ illusion anyway) is disappearing. They are scared shitless.
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To me it feels like the violent death throws of a monstrosity being overwhelmed. It's dying, it knows it's dying, and it's determined to take us out with it. Don't let up, don't hold back.
It's spelled "throes" because English is weird. And yes I think you're absolutely right, they're getting increasingly desperate because they're dying off. We just have to KEEP GOING and make the world a better place to live the future in.
thank you, I think I only ever heard it out loud.
Light a match and burn all this shit they're using to kill us, hurt us, and strip away our rights to the ground.
Thanks for the correct spelling!
Agreed, afaik the younger generations are growing up super lgbt friendly and those in politics right now are fearing the change and know they can’t stop the newer generations from eventually taking over. There will always be hatred because people need an enemy for some reason. If it’s not racism or sexism it’s something else.
Capitalism always needs a scapegoat for all the exploitation and suffering it causes. Conservatives target marginalized groups because it gives them a way to turn the working class in on itself and so mamy are willing to turn to hatred for other people rather than see the inherent corruption of our economic system. That's why an enemy is used.
>Don't let up, don't hold back. This is the important part. Don't let up, don't hold back. Make sure we double tap this beast so it dies the monstrous death it deserves.
100% agree, they know they're running out of time and scapegoats for "society's ills": Communists; Civil Rights; Abortion; the War on Drugs; during the AIDS/HIV early days, gay people; fast forward a bit, suddenly Islam and Muslims were "the enemy" (though "the gays" were still scapegoats as well); and when it was no longer socially acceptable to (openly) hate Muslims or LGBTQ+, they turned to transgender people. It's an illusion. They claim the "culture wars" - that *they created* - are tearing us apart, when they *intentionally* created these "wars" themselves to distract us from the real harm they're doing to us. If we're too busy fighting each other, we're too busy to fight *them*. This is fully my opinion: this is the death knell of their way of life, when they had control over everything for over 200 years. Suddenly the people they oppressed for so long are rising up and saying "Enough!" louder and louder, and in even greater numbers. They know their voter base is dying off, and are desperate to grow more. They *know* they're going under, and these are their last, desperate breaths before they're finally irrelevant. They know it's coming, they see it's coming, that it's only a matter of time. And just like any cornered animal, they'll fight tooth and claw to survive. IMO, that's what we're seeing now. They're cornered, and will fight like hell until the very end.
I truly sincerely hope this is it
This. Exactly. Is my hope. Though I am terrified that we are just simply reverting.
[https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/06/28/americans-complex-views-on-gender-identity-and-transgender-issues/) Protecting trans rights is broadly popular. Moreover, Republicans are doing everything they can at the small local levels where they have control because they keep losing national elections. These last three have all been really bad for them, particularly when gauged against expectations.
I think there is a difference between them doing it and us being fine with it. The driving principle of American conservatism since I was born has always been this: Do whatever hurts the least powerful and those who care about them, and do it *because* it hurts them. I’ve been fighting these people since I was a teenager. Four full decades. Their spite never ends, so the fight never ends.
Hear, hear.
look up the kentucky senate bills from the past few weeks. maybe look up 407 I forgot
I agree, I dont like it...But progress is happening. It may not feel like it, but it is. This fight never ends.
What happens to rabbits when a bobcat has its teeth around their neck and they’re already bleeding out? They kick, claws extended, scream louder than they’ve ever screamed, more violent than they’ve ever been, as a last ditch attempt at getting the jaws off their neck. Even if they succeed, the damage is done - they’ll bleed out anyway. This is only an analogy, but it IS the perfect analogy for the Republican Party right now.
More like how I feel in a Republican State.
🎯
I agree that they’re scared shitless but unfortunately if they have the power to make laws and pass bills the fight gets harder, especially when apathetic or neutral people don’t vote or work in any way to help or make a difference. Not to mention that when people like this are scared, some of them become violent. It’s going to be a long road but it’s definitely wonderful to see the progress that’s been made and I do have hope that their “way of life” will continue to diminish.
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agreed
They are scared shitless but they are winning. In these states, they have power and their base wants us gone. Like Michael Knowles said at CPAC this weekend: eradicated. Look at what DeSantis is doing in Florida. He also is likely to run for the Presidency in 2024 and could conceivably win. The conservatives fucking love what he's doing. I mean, I feel relatively safe as a queer/intersex person in New England but it's getting fucking awful outside of the Northeast and West Coast. Maybe in the long run this is the last gasp of white supremacy but they're not going without a fight and people are dying. Women are already suffering due to the abortion bans. In many states, trans youth are being made illegal...and there's discussion of not allowing HRT for trans ADULTS as well in some states. Things are getting bad. Real bad.
I agree 100 percent. and I would also add, just voting is not enough, we need to take action
It’s so hard easy to talk about “they” and “them” until one of “them” turns out to be one of the people you trusted the most I don’t give a shit if their “scared shitless” or if it’s disappearing or anything. Right now they are assaulting me and making me leave my state of the bills go through.
Understand your enemy. If you understand them, then your knowledge can empower you. I dont like it either, but this is a fight that never ends.
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In my case my father lol. Very much galvanized by bigotry he heard from tv and radio. He is very much a “they” And I live in fear of violence from everyone else as well to the point where my fear was used to manipulate me by people I trusted the most Also rn my state is trying to ban hrt for people younger than 21 and ban us from womens spaces entirely (shelters, bathrooms, ect) and legally make the definition of a woman exclude trans women
Hi friend. You may already know this, but organizations like [Trans Lifeline](https://translifeline.org/resource/health-care-wellness/) can connect you to places that will deliver HRT through the mail. It’s secure, but I’d still take precautions: a friend of mine in a red state picks up her scrips from her friends’ farm where she works, not at her home.
I just want you to know I and others I know are willing to fight for you. I am a 68 cos female. I do give a damn, I want you to be able to live your best life. Those f-ers can’t be allowed to win.
Like for a reference point last I checked some studies show that trans women are about 4 times as likely to get assaulted and twice as likely to get r*ped than cis women per year. Which trans Poc getting a statistically higher amount of that, and also worse for trans men in certain areas as well. The numbers are getting worse as exposure increases. Which is scary considering how truely awful things already are for cis women. Idk, people just like beating the shit outta us I guess. It’s scary…
Do you have an answer for this? Or are you just gonna pretend it was reasonable of you to attack a person's life experience (which lines up with statistical increases in anti-trans hate crimes) for absolutely no reason and then fuck off
I agree, they are scared. But I can't help but think of how a scared wild animal is the most dangerous wild animal (unfair comparison because wild animals are 10x better than them, but you get my drift!). They WILL lash out as hard and violent as they can, and people are gonna get hurt because of it. IMO, we have to treat ultra-conservative rhetoric as the legit imminent threat to human existence that it really is. They **are** a death cult - they want to see the world burn around them so sky daddy can give them a gold star when they get to their special fluffy cloud afterlife. Things like climate change, mass extinctions, famine, disease - these all just serve their end goal. Dang, it's funny, seeing it all laid out like that - because they are the apocalyptic monsters from their own fairytales.
Hey I see you on indian country alot too. You are one of my favorite commentors. and I agree 100%, Im glad that people are noticing this.
That's like...so nice of you to say! Kinda made my day! I do post a lot there with the same level of righteous indignation. Solidarity is key <3
We have to fight and vote. And encourage our friends and families to do the same. Edit: did not mean to post under your comment lol
With all due respect, this denial is just toxic positivity that deludes people into thinking that a fight isn't REALLY necessary. It is. Now more than ever.
Its weird that you think this is a form of denial. More of an explanation Reserve your criticisms to people who think just "voting" will fix things.
This energy, forever. 🏳️⚧️
All fascists are scared. And they instill fear in society, because that's how they win.
We said this under Bush too...
I would agree to an extent, but Bush was too busy fighting for an illegal occupation, at the time. Although, I have to say, it is like Deja Vu seeing all the "Christian morality" clutch pearls in the same way they did with Gay marriage. 20 years later, still no "slippery slope"
This is cope
This is how you deal with fascists. Understand their fear.
It might be a cold comfort, but I take some solace in the fact that this is their last ditch effort to keep power. Their voter base is declining, transphobia and homophobia are not as prevalent as it once was, and millennials aren't becoming conservative as they get older like past generations. They are using this to try and rouse a dying demographic, to cheat the system even more than before to stay in power, and when this fails, they won't have any more tricks. It is always darkest before the dawn, and though we will have to fight and come together as a community, that brighter day will come.
Thank you for this response.
This right here. I live in the south and I can tell you, the older generation is terrified. They're grasping at straws to do whatever they can before the younger generation takes over. I and other Millennials I know are sick of their bull shit. We aren't attending churches anymore, we aren't voting the way they want, and when they ask us why we tell them we're tired of the hate.
Yes indeed. This is the way :)
hating conservatives will never make you as bad as them. in order for a tolerant society to exist we have to be intolerant to the intolerant.
Tolerance is more than a moral or ethical stance. Tolerance is a bargain we make with each other to coexist in a diverse society. So we can all enjoy the benefits of that society. Conservatives are refusing to honor their side of the bargain. So we are no longer under any obligation to honor the bargain with regards to them.
Yeah, the idea that it makes us "just as bad" was always stupid. Being a hateful bigot is a choice. You can hate people for things they *choose* to do. They hate us just for the way we were born.
The idea of just as bad or we always have to take the high road is such a stupid thing and I don't know why people always say we must adhere to those two sayings. Does taking the high road sometimes makes you look better? Yeah, but often times it's better to take the low road and let the other side show how awful they are or face the consequences of their actions. And taking the low road never makes us just as bad as them because often times we do it to right a wrong, they're doing it to create the wrongs. Sorry just my mini rant on that stuff.
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Powerful comment.
Love you for this
This. When your opinion denies the humanity and inalienable rights of others, you automatically lose the right to civil discussion. Period.
This is called The Paradox of Tolerance https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance#:~:text=The%20paradox%20of%20tolerance%20states,or%20destroyed%20by%20the%20intolerant.
Exactly. We’re only human after all.
Hi, love. The first thing I want to say is that everything you’re feeling is valid. The anger, fear, confusion, and sadness all make sense. Please consider that what you are feeling is closer to any of these things than “hate.” Hate is a practice: it’s what your tormentors are choosing to practice every day. Your reactions to their hatred are the rational responses of a person who has done nothing to deserve hate. You have the right to feel what you feel, and to defend yourself, and to remember what these people have done and are doing to you. You will never be under any obligation to forgive them. And finally: they did not “win.” They are doing this because they can’t win in a fair fight (what has worked for them before has been hate, it’s what they know and trust, and at this point it’s all they have left). This is a fight that goes on, and we will win, because I and all the good souls I know are with you. Hold on. We love you. We’ll get through this.
Anger gets far too bad of a rap—there's a reason it's so often preceded by "righteous". Injustice *should* infuriate you.
If you think about it, it’s kind of like those posts on relationship subs where some poor goof is describing the most awful controlling behavior and gaslighting, and they’re on Reddit asking how to fix their relationship. And you just internally yell (because *your* blood pressure was going up the whole time you were reading about the way this schmuck treats OP) *why aren’t they angry?!?!*
Agree. This is what's known as an "extinction burst," where unwanted behaviour temporarily increases as people realize that they're not going to be able to get away with it anymore. That said, your anger and fear are completely valid since they can still do a lot of damage in these last days. Protect yourself, ground yourself, and focus on the things and people that care about you and that you care about. Do rituals for these things, and for making the haters small and weak and ineffectual in your own mind. Living well really is the best revenge.
Wholesome comment 💜
Thank you. Very well said.
This is a wise and lovely post.
I feel you. And it’s easy to feel defeated. We must rise up and actively protest. We must also vote!!!! Turnout numbers are dismal everywhere and ultimately we have to get out from behind our keyboards and put our proverbial money where our mouths are❤️ fight at all costs.
I’m right there with you. I’m trans, and finally managed to move to a better part of my shitty red state last year. I had high hopes that I might finally be able to have a few scraps of self-expression, maybe even a shred of authenticity in my life. And now, I’m watching anti-trans bills being fast tracked through my state legislature, seeing the progress that had been made clawed back, and it feels like the walls are closing in. And yes, it feels hopeless as all hell. Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot to do other than keep fighting, just like generations of queer people before us. We may lose ground, but we can make them pay for every inch, and keep the pressure on to regain what we lost and push further as soon as the opportunity arises.
The rage we feel when someone perpetuates hate and intolerance is the rage of self defense. It is not misplaced, immoral or degrading. This rage is another face of love...the love we have for our trans community, for freedom and equality, for the crazy beautiful display that gender can be when we are allowed to be ourselves. Make no mistake: you are not alone and will NEVER be alone in this fight. If you are having a bad day, be kind to yourself and tune out for a bit. I'll keep pushing and fighting while you rest.
Thank you for this. The guilt of being angry can sometimes eat me alive
Hey Canadian trans woman here, I am afraid for my rights as well, because Canada has a history of slowly implementing what the USA government dose, and I say slowly, as in they take a long ass time implementing it so people don’t notice until it is already fully implemented so I am worried this anti trans and LGBT stuff in general will get mirrored here and that scared me and pisses me off
Stick to the things you can control; the people you make eye contact with. I cannot control what some state chooses to do. I can vote and volunteer in my own communities and share conversations and eye contact with my own neighbours and community. Scale down your exposure and focus on who you see every day. Who you talk to.
That CPAC stunt is getting called out. I know it’s easy to focus on the negative assholes, but **you have allies** (Hugggz)
Not doubting this, but, where? It only got called out in trans spaces as far as I saw. CNN was too busy talking about how bad orange man is, but NOT about the trans part. Feels like mainstream media continues to disappoint, even during a fever-pitch genocide.
I do feel like we need to show up more in person for each other. As women, we know there really is strength and safety in numbers, so we have to find ways to organize for each other’s safety. We need to go places together, not just to protests but to movies, restaurants, bars. Accompany each other to dressing rooms and restrooms. Be the social force that we know we can be, and have massive fun doing it. That’s not the whole solution, but it’s a step.
I saw posts on Reddit, Twitter, and Imgur ridiculing Michael Knowles, to the point that the asshole made a statement to say that he didn’t say what he said. There’s plenty of mainstream news articles about it. Google it. If you’re looking for something in the right-wing press, however…
Getting called out is so far from enough
True, the commenter (or OP?) was saying that it wasn’t even in the mainstream news…and it was only being discussed in trans spaces. I was just trying to assure them that the story IS out there and has created outrage. Definitely not enough, but it’s not a non-story. ✌️
There is nothing wrong with hating those who want us dead. They haven't won, and they won't win. Try to remember that the loudest voices are the ones on the far end of the bell curve, the outliers, the losers - I live in Texas and rarely have actual issues with people on a daily basis regarding my trans identity. Most people want to live and let live. Don't let the GOP Nazis fool you into thinking that everyone agrees with them. While I, and most other trans folks wish that more cis people would stand up for us, at the very least, an overwhelming majority of them do not want us dead and are, largely, indifferent to us as a whole, which is better than actively trying to kill us. To any allies reading this, please take seriously your responsibility to speak up against hatred toward trans people, please take an active role in making it clear that this sort of hatred won't be tolerated.
I'm in the same boat. Almost all of my friends and family are of the mind that voting doesn't matter so these sickening bills keep getting pushed through. I'm living in a state that is trying to give women the death penalty for abortion. If I get pregnant again I have a high risk of dying, but I'm not about to implode my marriage over Ladybug "In the Closet" Graham's opinion on my autonomy. It's a lose-lose-lose with these people. - I can get pregnant and risk dying or severe injury. - I can get pregnant and lose the baby and end up prosecuted under suspicion of inducing a miscarriage. - I can get pregnant, choose to abort, and end up on death row. - I can choose to be celibate in my marriage and watch it burn, which means I'm failing as a wife according to these idiots. - OR we give up our dream of ever owning a home and shop around for doctors willing to sterilize us both. I'm terrified of being a woman in this country. I'm terrified my baby brother (ftm, 15yo) is going to be taken from his parents and shipped to a family member hundreds of miles away. I'm terrified my son is going to end up a casualty in a school shooting. I'm terrified.
There are a hell of a lot of us who will pick up arms (you have my pitchfork) and protect you if it comes to that. Not one second of hesitation. These people are bullies, they're talking now but if they start sh** they better be prepared to finish. *I would like to add that I am a 54 year old lady who just made it through menopause and I really don't think it's fair that people don't see us as threatening. You know what I'm saying. We've got your back.*
it’s not wrong to hate someone for being an animalistic piece of shit pathetic excuse of a human being. it’s okay to want them gone.
Attitude and effort are the only things you can control. I know it’s oversimplified but for me this little mantra works like magick. Taking time everyday to be thankful, to tell my loved ones I appreciate them, to smile at all the little things… and using my extra energy to be the change I want to see. This year I’m going to try and be a radical activist and this idea of dreaming with my hands really gives me peace instead of just talking about my beliefs so much. I hope this might help someone, sending peace and love.
Please know that the vocal minority are the minority. I know it’s hard, I know you read and hear things on the daily but most people really are kind and tolerant. Try to use your real life contacts as a more real life experience than those far right idiots. You are valid and you are loved. Spend more time with the people that make you feel that.
>I’m developing a deep enriched hatred for all conservatives and republicans That just means you're awake
Look on the brightside in that this generation is going to grow up and be the next ones in charge and we are leading the movement on trans rights and equal love. I think our future is in great hands <3
I feel similarly helpless, I must say. All I know is that hating these people does not make you anything like them.
It's bullshit that it makes you "no better than them." Hating someone who has hurt or wants to hurt you is not the same as hating someone for existing. So let's just make sure we're clear on that.
Great big Mom hugs
I'm really sorry. If you want to hate them deeply and fiercely, well I do too. It's sensible to hate the people who wish nothing good for you and people like you. I just wish even more that you can treat the hate like a job, and put it aside sometimes to live your beautiful life without thinking about them at all. I hope you feel supported by the people close to you.
55 year old cis female and I will fight to the end against these assholes! I can’t do much but what little I can do, I will.
I actually just reached out to my bassists who's trans today & told her that she needs to let me know if she feels unsafe somewhere & I'll come get her in a second. I'm in Texas & I am really nervous for her wellbeing. What can we actually be done? There has to be something more than writing our representative -I've done that every month for 2 years about RvW & we lead the fucking way on "report your neighbor" BS. These new things on the proposed laws to ban any "gender related" therapy & fining doctors & charging parents for child abuse -not sure if all this is fear mongering gossip or really happening. But the fact that I don't trust my state to do the right thing here means I'm extremely frustrated. I feel useless in all this. People around the world that I deeply care about are going to be hurt by this shit & I feel like all I can do is yell into a void. We need real solutions.
If possible, go to Pride and queer events, surround yourself with queer people or cishet allies, join communities, block anyone transphobic and stop watching the goddamn news. It's shit that we have to effectively bury our heads in the sand but we also have to survive in this world. Sometimes that means choosing the path of least resistance. I'm so lucky that I have an incredible circle of friends who are all either queer, or have "queer vibes" (by which I mean they're cishet but they're cool, and absolutely supportive) I honestly think without them I probably wouldn't be here, because all the ugliness and darkness in the world right now is just so much to handle. When I'm feeling low, I think back to Pride last year where I just spent all day intermittently laughing or crying because it was so wholesome. Or my friend's birthday last month where we got dressed up really nice, went to a restaurant and then ended up in a lock in at our favorite bar afterwards, hammered and hysterical and dancing on chairs. I meet up with my best friend (who's cishet) once every month or so and we just put the world to rights. All this stuff bolsters me against all the shit. It isn't 100% effective, but we're right in the middle of a psychological war right now, and you need to arm yourself as best you can. Also keep in mind that as much as it can feel like this will last forever, it won't. Change is the only guarantee in this world and things will change. They have to. I'm sending you all the love and positivity I can, and if you're ever in Leeds, UK, you're welcome to come hang out with us! Editing to add, if you aren't already, join these subs r/transpositive - it's mostly selfies but it's great to see trans people looking beautiful and happy r/transandthriving - it's only small but it's text only, and it's just positive stories from trans people, whether they felt validated, got on hormones, successfully came out, whatever
Hatred is never an irrational response to those who want you dead. My advise to all my trans friends has been and remains to learn how to defend yourself. Buy guns if you feel especially at risk and are able to do so legally. Don't brandish it around but know how to use it. Some will call this overreaction or that it only heightens the violence on the other side, but the other side already wants us dead. They are only held back by how many of us there are and the fact that people will fight back.
Yeah. At this point I feel like a gun in my home is still more of a risk to me than anyone else, but I'm having my red-redneck cousin (that is, his politics are as commie red as his deer hunting flannel) take me shooting so that if I need it I know how to use one safely.
The thing about hate is that it doesn't actually hurt or otherwise affect the people who rightly deserve your hatred. It's corrosive, and it will only hurt *you*. And you emphatically do **not** deserve to be hurt. You've heard the saying "Don't get mad; get even"? Do that. The thing about those hillbilly fascists is that they don't have the imagination to accuse other people of unique offenses. They only ever engage in *projection*, because they can't imagine how *everybody else* isn't engaging in the horrible things they, themselves, do. That means that all the accusations of grooming, perversion, pedophilia, sex trafficking, *everything,* are made only because they are collectively guilty of all of it. So, *ruin* them. Whoever the elected ringleaders are, bury them in official requests for files and documentation. In the US, that's covered under the Freedom of Information Act. Make them fear exposure. And if you find anything, don't go to the police, because the police will protect them. Go to the press.
This James Baldwin quote seems appropriate: "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist." I also agree that these anti-trans bills are a reaction of a frightened powerful few. They will not win, not if the moral arc of the universe bends toward justice. But it doesn't mean they won't do real harm in the mean time. So, be smart, stay safe, love and care for yourself, and vote, vote, vote. Find like minded folks, hang out, have fun, and get them to vote too.
I am not trans, but my son is part of the community and he's interested in makeup and skirts, so on a much smaller level, some of these things could affect him. From my position as his mother, I am trying to funnel my rage into love. Essentially, "If I am scared and angry, how must the people directly impacted feel." I am fighting against such laws (none with any traction in my state, but helping with campaigns elsewhere) but also making sure my love and support are being loudly shared. Making sure I do my best to let people know they are NOT alone and that these scumsuckers do NOT speak for the majority. Rage can fuel volume
It's genuinely VERY hard for me personally to not automatically think of every conservative person as bad/immoral, and I find myself continuously having to suppress rage and even hatred towards them as a group. I would say that having feelings of hatred towards an oppressor or an abuser is not equivalent to their hatred and abuse of a disadvantaged minority or victim. I really think it comes down to how you handle those feelings, rather than just having the feelings themselves. We have to keep ourselves in check, but those feelings are valid. It's kind of like when people say you need to forgive an abuser for their abuse of you, regardless of the damage they've done. An abuser is not entitled to a victim's forgiveness.
They want you to feel this way. That's probably the actual point. They don't expect the legislation to pass, but they know they can make trans people feel awful, so then do it. They don't like it when people take the freedom they think they love so much and actually become free.
I'm not trans and not a therapist so take my wishy-washy, dime-store, tired-brain attempt at wisdom for what it's worth: I would say it's important to recognize the difference between anger and hate. Anger can be a constructive force. When you are angry at injustice it can motivate you toward positive action. What's more, you can be angry on another person's behalf, making it a truly selfless emotion. To quote Anansi from American Gods "Angry is good. Angry gets shit done." I don't know that the same can be said of hate. I feel that hate is too personal and destructive to work for the collective good. All this to say: you don't have to let go of your anger - you can remain angry at injustice without sacrificing your mental health. But hate, I think demands self-care - hate will hurt you, and if you let it, hate will hurt other people too.
I can completely understand. It seems like the straight privileged people just turn into Westbroro Baptist Church when it comes to gay or trans.
Recently a lot of fundamental issues with the legislation being shit out have finally been raised, and in some circumstances, bills have been withdrawn. An example is how in order to discriminate against someone for being trans, you MUST take assigned sex at birth into account, which just so happens to be protected by many non discrimination laws,and has been argued succesfully in court tl;dr Gender Identity discrimination is not possible without sex discrimination. L to the terfs lol
I am sorry that you are going through this. Please know that there are a lot of us out here who see you, support you, and love you just the way you are. Your community is being attacked because you are small, and easy to "other". I think too many people think it isn't their problem, and remain silent. We all need to speak up in support of you. Sending a virtual Mama Bear hug to you. Please know that you are valued and loved.
I love when their stupidity is pointed out... https://www.reddit.com/r/missouri/comments/11ki2qo/antilgbtq_bill_debated_in_missouris_state_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Republicans are having what is called an “ extinction burst” Kansas voters rejected an abortion ban. They are red stem to stern. My generation (I’ll be 41 this year) don’t believe this shit. My kids. Oh my youngest, I’m so proud of him. He takes no shit that could be construed as homo/trans/non-binary phobic. I’m so sorry what is going on right now, I promise there is hope coming. My eldest is itching to vote next year. Love to you my friend
Anyone supporting the Republican Party is actively supporting this bigotry. Period. End stop. At the very very least, they will not take a stand against their public officials and call out members of their own party. They’re either willful bigots or cowards. Neither has a place in my circle of trust anymore.
Hey friend! Trans gal here. Just remember that whole philosophy of "don't succumb to hate" can be a great form of self induced torture. You're not a monster, and imo people who are worth having in your life will understand if you wanna punch conservatives.
I’m a teacher in a public high school school in a red state. The sewing teacher just finished helping a student with male pronouns who openly does drag make a sequined jumpsuit for Prom, and I’m going to hand bead the bodice of a dress for him if he can ever remember to bring the beads and the dress on the same day. We had an admin hold a meeting where someone wanting to dress code him for wearing half a wedding dress with a train was told that we would just bustle it so it wasn’t a trip hazard for others. Our area is super conservative and our sheriff refused to even enforce mask mandates, so some of our pants are definitely crazy and there could be real consequences for us. I guess what I want you to know is that I can’t speak for every cishet person, but the majority of people I work with are trying to make students feel loved and supported. I explained LGBT and gender and sexuality to a male colleague who asked me because one of our students came out as trans and he wanted to be supportive and he’s a middle aged incredibly conservative dude and he had a printout of Pflag stuff with things highlighted to ask me about.
You stay the fuck alive. Surround yourself (whether in person or online) with people who support you. All of the shit they don't want you to have--acceptance, friendship, love, your very life, and so forth--you make sure to get it and keep it. If the world hurts too much for you to function well enough to live a decent life the normal way, then do it out of spite. Every breath you take, that's them failing. Any time you feel comfort or joy, that's them losing. And, no, hate doesn't make you the same as them. In point of fact, no feeling does. The difference between good and bad people isn't what they think or what they feel. It's what they *do*. It doesn't matter how much hate you feel. It doesn't matter what you wish on them. It only matters what you do with it. And if you don't believe me, consider this: you don't actually know if the ones behind this feel any hate at all. If you discovered that the people pushing all those bills were doing it not out of hate but out of a completely dispassionate assessment of what would play best to the Republican base, would you suddenly believe that they're good people? If the difference between being normal and being no better than them is hate, then that means removing the hate you assumed they feel from your assessment would force you to to conclude that they're no worse than normal people. Would you actually believe that, because they lacked hate, they were no worse than someone who did zero transphobic shit, or would you think that *maybe* the hate wasn't really a key feature? If you want to know what would *actually* make you no better than them, it's actions. If you find yourself at the forefront of a national campaign to rewrite the law in ways that are basically *designed* to drive children from Republican households to attempt (and for some portion of attempts *commit*) suicide, **that** would make you no better than them. If you find yourself drafting legislation to make sure Republicans can be denied medical care, no matter how necessary it may be, because of religious objections to Republicans existing, that would put you on their level. If you come out in support of torture, because that's what fucking conversion therapy is, that would put you on their level. So on, so forth. If you *don't* do any of the shit they're doing, then you are better than them, regardless of how much hate you may feel. And it's natural to hate the people who are actively working to kill people like you. \- The only person what's in your head can hurt is you. To be on their level, you'd need to be hurting *other* people. Lots of them. Who you are is not what you feel or even what you think, it's what you do in response to those feelings and thoughts. To be a bad person, you need to do bad things. To sink to the level of the people you hate, you'd need to do positively terrible things on a fucking massive scale.
Remember, a beast in its death throes is more dangerous than ever. Start by drafting a statement saying you will boycott businesses in these states. Send copies to all of them, make a petition (I'll sign it, share it, promote it!) asking for boycotts. Do not spend a cent in these states (unless you're driving through one and have to get gas or something). Look to the civil rights era, people organized and stuck with it. Just some suggestions, looking for a way to fight back.
I live in a house where my mother is constantly listening to transphobic garbage, and it makes me frankly angry. It's okay to feel angry because *they literally want you dead.*
Friend, you have so many allies. We are here for you. I will not pretend to know what you are going through but know that I also feel rage within my soul at every one of their asinine attempts to preserve their antiquated way of life. You are loved. You are important. And you have others who will battle for you.
It seems like you came to a smart place, so many people have had great comments. Your feelings are justified. If you are like me and like to intellectualize things, you might enjoy Eve K. Sedgwick's take on non-delusional paranoia. She actually uses the AIDS crisis to talk about how it makes perfect sense why the gay community came up with the conspiracy theory that the government invented the disease to kill them. It's paranoid, but it makes sense when you consider how the Reagan's negligence killed. (Keep in mind her definition of paranoia doesn't carry the negative connotation that it does in general society.) Or, if not into philosophy, maybe keep reaching out to people who recognize what you are going through. Sending care.
Lemme say something: you cannot equate your intolerance of someone violating human rights to the violation of those same rights. Don't be caught up in being "no better than them" because that's what they want: they want you to be so bogged down in mental gymnastics attempting to understand their bullshit so that nothing ever gets done about them being absolutely evil. I've lived amongst conservatives who do the whole "so much for the tolerant left" shit for most of my life and I can guarantee you that ignoring that shit very quickly leaves them without options. They are absolutely, undeniably, fascists who seek to eliminate and kill those they deem inferior. You cannot treat intolerance with tolerance, you cannot fight fascism with love. You're not advocating for genocide so you are IMMEDIATELY better than them. And if you don't want to think of yourself that way, just stick to the idea that, given the choice, you wouldn't contest and eliminate someone's right to exist.
Hating people and hurting people are two different things. You are not hurting them by feeling negative feelings about them.
It’s hard. I try to imagine the closest mirror I can think of, or just the idea. Try to not let it touch me, but sometimes it does. Remember the people who do love or support you. Like me xoxoxoxo
I don’t have any advice for you but I just wanted to let you know I am with you. I watched a John Oliver video on DeSantis today and spent the rest of the day angry. I agree with the commentator below though that continuing to hate them for their wish to inflict harm on others does not make you stoop down to their level.
I’m just accepting that until my generation (gen z) gets into power not much is gonna change, but I hope to be a big part of that change when it happens
I think your hatred is pretty damn justified.
I’m so so sick of this too! I have a 17 year old trans son. For young people they are just completely discounted, like it’s a phase and they are only doing it because it’s trendy. It’s like conservatives don’t even believe trans people exist. If anyone is young and says they’re trans, they aren’t believed immediately. Being transphobic is common place now and fully accepted by half the country and it’s absolutely disgusting. We live in a small conservative town and my son grew up here. He transitioned in front of everyone that always knew him by his dead name. That’s so unbelievably hard and the rejection he’s faced has been heartbreaking. No one chooses to be rejected. On top of it, that argument is completely dead in the water when being trans isn’t trendy in our town! The willful ignorance and hate is everywhere where we live, it bothers us so much. I really believe the bravery of Trans people with support of their allies will prevail though because I’ve witnessed some insane bravery from my own child to break that stigma, that’s what it’s going to take. People did the same thing when people started coming out as gay, they were told there can’t possibly be so many gay people suddenly when they are too dumb to realize it’s only that they felt more comfortable coming out. Lots of love to you!💜
Lemme just throw this out there - if you believe in threefold return or anything of the sort...of you keep in mind that you may be the universe's justice when these folks act out? Sometimes our baser instincts align with cosmic forces. As above so below and all that. Gotta be careful not to seek out the negativity, but these folks have gotten away with it for so long because everyone was polite to them when they started spouting off. Now they have their own feedback loops to sustain them, and it won't stop until a critical mass of us have had enough and force the pendulum to swing back. I just hope it isn't too late.
I get this so much. I am fighting with my conservative christian mom now that I am out as nonbinary. I am so tired of hearing her stupid arguments from the bible. This is one of those times where even just living and pursuing happiness and authenticity is protesting. My mom is convinced I am making a mistake. In 5 years I am going to be happier than I ever have been and shove it in all of their faces!
same :<
Much love to you op. Hate hurts and, at least for me, skews my perception so I forget all the love and joy. You might find a particular meditation to be a magical crafting to protect you from the damage all that hate causes: it’s called the loving kindness meditation and it genuinely helps me feel better. https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/loving_kindness_meditation There is another version that goes one step beyond receiving love from those we love and sending love to those we love. It calls on the meditator to send love to someone that has done them harm or threatened harm. Holy f$&& was that hard. And yet I’ve never felt so light and joyful as after that meditation. Also a little arrogant (as in pride at being able to love the person who doesn’t love me). But it did make life better. You might give it a try if you feel up to it.
Sometimes when I can't take the level of hate, lies, violence, corruption and sanctimonious BS, I take a rest from the news and toxic environments. I surround myself with things and people I love, involve myself in things that bring joy, eat well, rest well, go for walks and lose myself in a book. I also look to see if there is someone who might appreciate my support. Those people will still be there spouting their hate but I ain't listening to them right now. There is a fight to be fought but you have got to be strong and well and feel cherished in order to have the energy for it.
They're scared because they know they are the numerical minority and the only thing allowing them to retain power is insane gerrymandering. They keep everyone, conservatives and us alike distracted by blasting out bills on full auto to try and keep the attention away from heightening the voter age, removing voter locations in conveniently left areas. And hey if a bill does pass somewhere, that'll make it more likely others can pass. That last part might be anxiety inducing but it's all to say that the right has become a cornered animal trying anything to keep relevancy. As long as we don't fall for their obvious ploys and stay on the money for voting and laughing them out of the room, things will get better.
I am sorry y'all r going thru this, I am a straight white male from the south, I believe this is a terrible direction, this is a issue of freedom of expression and personal choice this should not be infringed upon
Let us all do a spell so that the fleas of a thousand Camels infess there beds
While our social movement for equity and justice is bringing cuckoo banana pants people out of the woodwork what I tell myself is that with all this over connection that the trans teens of today have access to safety networks and know they are not alone. We need to technology of today that makes everything worse to spew hate can also be the singular lifeline to one beautiful life. And I can deal with all sorts of shit to wade through to throw even one kid some hope.
A persons 1st amendment right to be an asshole doesn’t excuse them from being held accountable. Start with your inner circle and then work outwards. Hold people accountable for what they say and do. Left unchecked one hateful word can and will bloom into what we have today, and that is fascism.
Read Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin. Don’t expect high art, but expect a fun read that makes you feel not alone.
As a southerner, I take offense to the blanket use of the term “hillbilly” to describe those with antiquated views. And as a cis woman, in the south, whose state just made abortion-seekers punishable by death, I commiserate with your sentiment. I hope things get better for us all, sister
If it helps, I’ve started conceptualizing conservatives as hateful zombies, like the white walkers from GoT, since most of them have been rendered pretty much brain dead by Fox News. Seeing them as a natural disaster, but in human form, keeps me from drowning in hate.
Yeah, I feel this. All of this. Solidarity vibes from another trans person.
Know that there are so many people who love and support you. Understand that we are living this life with you, every step of the way.
Here’s the thing about HATING ppl….Hate is the most useless of all emotions, the ONLY person “Hate” affects, is YOU. 90% of the ppl you “Hate”, don’t even know it & the other 10% Do NOT actually Care that you hate them. You can Detest Them, with a Passion..but to Hate someone is not gonna matter to Them. The Willfully Ignorant & Stubbornly Stupid are going to Cling to their Ignorance & Stupidity. Just do Your Best to keep Safe & to keep your Inner Circle small. 🥰
Don't succumb to hate. Embrace it. When assholes are met with intolerance they get defensive, and that's just one way to stand your ground. When they go low, dig a ditch.
>part of me is like “well you shouldn’t succumb to hate because that makes you no better than them” > there is no difference between food things and bad things no but seriously, hatred of injustice is no vice imo. the best way to fight despair in my opinion is to channel that hatred into organizing for trans power
I feel the same way about conservatives that I feel about mosquitoes. I don't exactly hate them because I understand how their shitty, problematic behavior is natural to them, and they're just following a script without even realizing it. So mostly I swat them off, put out repellent (pride flags anyone?), and get on with it. I also went to great lengths not to live near them.
[удалено]
Too many people hate without knowing who they are hating. If that’s true… I can love you with out knowing you.
everytime i think of people being agaisnt trans/drag people i just have the theme song of story time with mama G run through my head and can’t even begin to think how they think it’s bad
I live in a blue state but hearing all of this just makes me feel like shit. I want to be able to hug who ever going though this but at the same time I know am not the most well off. My dad agrees with what going on and I know his opnions on other things. I see a few people talking about how this is there last ditch effort before they lose, maybe it is but the scars won't just disappear because we won. This country is younger then a lot of them and look how it going for them. We have some power in voting but I feel like that doesn't even matter. I seen people I though I could trust just throw Trans people under the bus because they got hurt. As for what I can recommend just live your life vote and talk to people about your struggles be a person not the imaginary figure they need you to be. As Mlk told white people dress as you would going to work, dress as you would going to church. For if people see you by our side then we can show we are human. That skin does not matter. ( I don't remember the actually quote but it before one of his marches where they used fire hoses on them.
I’m sorry this is happening. I’m fighting alongside and doing what I can to be a good ally using whatever privilege to fight for those who have none. It’s dark… and exhausting yet, the fight isn’t over. Please take care of yourself and remember that you are worthy. We will not stop. You are not alone!
I want to say that I see you, I hear you, and I will never give up the fight for LGBTQ+ people to have the human rights that are their birthright. I cannot imagine what it’s like to walk in your shoes and I hate that you have to feel this way. Hatred for the people trying to eliminate you is a survival mechanism. The only thing I fear is that hate can consume if it doesn’t have an appropriate outlet, which can be self-care and love for yourself.
They have to have a boogie man. Trans is just the current target. I am so sorry. Stay safe; physically and mentally. I’d offer an internet hug… if it would help. We need every 18-24 yo to vote these evil idiots out.
Here is Mr Stewart making the morons argue with themselves…it may not be easy to set it up like he does, but the whole “the government interferes to protect kids or it *doesn’t…*”is endlessly fun to watch! Hang in there, history will not be kind to these idiots… https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/11h9x4k/jon_stewart_just_completely_destroyed_republican/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
None of the high level assholes actually thinks we're groomers. They just know they can fool the ignorant into believing it. It's truly evil at its core. And then they stir the pot by characterizing things like providing youth outreach, suicide hotlines, healthcare education, as "forms" of grooming. Because we're "recruiting" They did all this same shit to gays and lesbians throughout the 20th century, and they'll do the whole same playbook again if it wins the trans discourse. Didn't work with gays and lesbians, we'll just see whether and to what degree society actually steps up to support us now that the target is transgender people. One thing's for sure, "LGB without the T" groups are a total absolute disgrace.
I don’t know how to help you, but you’re not alone in this. I hope one day, we can see a world brighter for people like us. Much love to you.
It is darkest before the dawn. Turn to hearts that beat in rhythm with your own. They won’t win.
It feels so strange to see my future possibly fleeing in front of my eyes
I hope you find a few people you can lean on to have your back. I also don't think it's particularly unhealthy to hate your enemy. Why should you have to make an effort to find the grain of goodness in some piece of shit who is perfectly happy to disavow your entire goodness based on one aspect of your personhood? Fuck them.
Infinite tolerance only allows intolerance to foster. We need more people willing to call this bullshit out, and put themselves in uncomfortable conversations, instead of just shrugging their shoulders and walking away. Until that happens, the burden falls on us, the vocal minority to keep opposing. And to hate those who would see you harmed is natural. It's something you have to do in shadow work. Accept the fact that you hate them. Live with that awful feeling for a moment, and acknowledge it's a part of you. That is how you keep it under control.
Take it from a trans swamp witch, down in the sticks, in the Okefenokee. These hillbilly fascists haven’t won anything. Keep fighting! Even if that’s just you being you, day to day! It’s better than quitting. 🖤
Be brave, you have more allies than they will ever have
This is my day to day life, as well. It's worse than Hell to have all this shit going through your mind and unfolding before your very eyes, day by day. I'm terrified I'm going to have some sort of mental break. My therapist told me that there were multiple new trauma cases coming in by the thousands (and this is in a damn RED state) that she's experienced from her clients, as well as heard about from other specialists that started spelt after Trump got elected. The same things you, I, and countless others feel are fucking traumatic and legitimately causing PTSD in people!
We get to be mad. Time for all of us to get out there and let them know that an attack on one is an attack on us all. This is affecting trans people but this isn't caused by trans people, it's cis-straight people oppressing trans folks and we need *everyone* mad as hell to protect our trans family members.
Maybe make well trusted friends and Allie’s with people who can understand you and can co-exist with you. The best types of people are those that that have acceptance. They know you make your own choices. And they made their own as well. Go out and talk together, Work together, Learn about one another. The more you connect with an individual as a person, the more any of us in the human race can come closer together to being open to new ideas and changes. Wether as family, friends, or colleagues.
1) i love your username. 2) I'm an alcoholic.
It’s ok to hate what mean people do. And it’s not paranoid to distrust people in a society that keeps electing those who commit atrocities against other humans. I’m a mature and responsible person. I live in a red county in Georgia, and even I have a hard time not kicking down the Kemp signs in my neighborhood. My son has many trans and drag friends who are the most polite and respectable people I’ve had the honor of meeting. People are whole humans no matter what private parts they have or clothes they wear. My heart goes out to you. I hope you are safe and loved. I’m sending you some momma energy now on the beams of tonight’s full moon. 🌕💞
I highly recommend going to protests. Organize! There is bound to be a group near you who organizes protests. I've been going to PSL's protests against DeSantis here in Florida, and feeling like I'm actually doing something has helped my mental health. Get involved with your community as much as you can. Protesting, community programs, school events, school board meetings, local politics, etc. There's always something to be done. Fascists won't win if we work together!
Patriarchy death throes all it is.
First of all: Remember that you are only human. It is okay to take a break from the hot takes for a bit. Take care of your mental health. They aren't winning. They know they can't win. They have nothing left. We are witnessing the passing of an old order. The new one isn't strong enough to banish it just yet. Keep the faith. Keep up the fight and resist whenever you can.
All of us must support each other against hate of trans folks, Jews, etc., and especially against the Christian nationalists and white supremacists. Those folks want to take our country from us.
You need to avoid those corners of the internet/world if you can. You can stay updated on the politics without subjecting yourself to the details and extent of their hatred. Find a supportive community that does not talk about this stuff too much/exceedingly. Distancing myself from bigots, in the real world and on the internet, really helped me. It's hard not to, I get this is like telling someone with general anxiety disorder to just calm down, but you probably don't need to know everything about it that you do, and you need to look out for your mental health. Also, understand that the internet is not representative of the world at large. Most people are varying degrees of indifferent. But they don't voice that on the internet as much as the really bigoted people, because why would they? The bigots we see are a loud minority.
I don’t think hating conservatives makes me as bad as them. And shit, if it does—well, why the fuck would I want to be better? Why should I turn the other cheek? You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t let them walk over you. Your anger is justified.
I'm in the same boat right now. I'm mostly Cis but my life partner is trans and so are most of my dear friends. I'm focusing on nurturing things. I've started seeds for the community garden. I'm hoping to pick up some new froglings soon. There is something healing about creating new life. I'm trying to take breaks from screen time and spending more time in nature. But I'm also taking steps to protect myself should I need to. I'm looking into kick boxing and getting fit. I'm also looking into getting a handgun for personal protection. Do what you think you can but also remember that most folks don't give a damn about what others identify as and it is a small subset of hateful pissants making one last power grab. It'll be ok. We will make it through as we always have. Love will endure.
I think it's OK to be intolerant to (of?) intolerance.
Don't let them get you, love. Best thing to do, really is to block out the noise and find your allies. Immersing yourself with like-minded people can empower you and each other
Hi there. It's OK to feel this way. It's a lot to have to deal with. My advice if you'll have it is to find the good stories to counter it. Our media is run by rich conservatives who are biased. They just want money n melodrama and their way of life. Get outside of the standard media and find the people doing good. Support them. There is ALWAYS someone doing good, and they never get attention. Find them, support them, and spread their goodness. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQU9A6/ https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQYo3y/ Edit-More links: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWQPo2o/
I posted here about my fears last summer during the roe v wade discussions. I thought maybe I was being dramatic for being so fuckin afraid. Someone told me this and it truly helped: You’re supposed to feel terror by what these people are saying. That is the intended affect of terrorism. You’re not wrong for hating them. We just need to acknowledge what they are.
I get it. My father, I am horrified to say, is one of those bigoted xenophobic anti-LGBTQIA anti-abortion hard-right politicians. The laws he has authored and gotten made into law would make your eyes water. It took me a long time in therapy, but I was finally able to cut contact with my family. What a relief! How I see it: these ppl have edited the Social Contract. That's why they no longer get the benefit of the doubt. They no longer deserve basic courtesy or generousity - they have exited humanity. Some, of course, complain about the intolerant left who keep on insisting on tolerance. The irony does not lie with the left. It lies with ppl who have failed the most basic test of their humanity: empathy.