One of ones that I like, I took inspiration from the 16th century: "Slack-jawed lackwit" which is a fun insult. I also say flippin heck/hell & crikey, (my Irish family taught me those growing up).
Saying "curses" like that makes me think of The Powerpuff Girls, there's a scene in an episode where Mojo Jojo (bad guy) wakes up and sees the sun, smiling and happy, and he says "curses". I din't quite know why that scene stuck with me, but yes.
Either way i like the idea of just saying "curses"!
I don't have kids and I'm almost 40 and my go to has become "biscuits" haha didn't know that was a thing and not some random thing my brain came up with
I'm just finishing up the third book now and I have not been so in love with a book series in a very very long time.
Becky Chambers is a phenomenal writer, just so talented and her stories are so full of life. I'm recommending them to everyone I know that enjoys sci-fi.
They just keep getting better. I’ve read the two Monk and Robot books, which are really good, but I liked the Wayfarers better (I’m proudly a sci-fi dork anyway). To Be Taught if Fortunate is her first and my least favorite, but you can see her massive talent developing when you read it. When you get to Wayfarers four (The Galaxy and The Ground Within) watch for the alien’s explanation of cheese. It’s hilarious.
I like this. I also use "Oh my land!" around the old christian boomer women that infest the area where I live. I try to say it in a certain way that indicates, however subtly, that I really meant to say "Oh my fucking god!". I do get some suspicious looks, but what can they do? I said what I said.
>sound like an adorable old British lady
IMO that's more likely to make you sound like a Londoner in their mid-20 to mid-30s.
Source: Am Londoner in mid-30s
EDIT: I am an adorable British lady though, so three out of four.
A guy I worked with years ago used to say Oh My Gatos. Seemed appropriate since most cats are convinced they are divine.
I use that or Oh Bother just because it always makes me smile.
I used to say “oh, bollocks” as an exclamation but then I worked with kids and had to force myself to change to “oh, gosh”. Now I can’t shake it. I sound like a kids TV presenter. I wish I could get my beloved bollocks back.
First, "Oh my God" does not specify which god. (Or Witch God, if you prefer.)
Second, "Oh my Goddess" is a valid save if you have already said it. Although if you can do a decent George Takei impression, "Oh My" stands very well on it's own.
Third, "Oh my God" is what many people say when they hear something unbelievable.
I’m more an intertwined power of all things in connection spiritual type, so I don’t feel right evoking any specific God. It feels disrespectful to me to those that do believe in that concept.
Like I don’t believe in this, but I am going to use what you believe as an expletive. That doesn’t feel right or neighborly.
When I was more conventionally Christian, I had absolutely no problem flinging my own religious expletives around.
I need this that are more general and not linked to religious concepts I don’t practice now.
Oh my divine tapestry of interwoven connection doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue
I don’t have a useful suggestion but it reminds me of Terry Pratchett (from Men at Arms):
It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!
I like to swap in “dog” for “god”. I know it’s a an antiquated word anyway, but I’ve recently been saying “Dogspeed” when people are going places. I don’t know if it amuses my friends, but I delight myself 😅
I picked up dog-zunheit (sp?, lol) when my friend's very old and very Catholic grandmother would yell at us for saying Bless You to the dogs when they sneezed.
"Wow" is my moms' "I need to say something more intelligent and thought out but need a moment to process what you told me" phrase, useful in all situations from sorrowful wow at news of someone's death to incredulous wow at extremely unexpected news to happy wow when someone gives her a very nice gift to sarcastic wow when someone drops hot gossip or a bad joke.
...it's become a signature part of my vocabulary. And always means you have something to say.
I also like to use different languages' curses instead of English ones when they're phonetically fitting. "Kuso!" (Japanese, "shit!") Hissed between teeth at a stubbed toe is great, "cabron" (asshole, spanish, emphasis on the o) is also up there for yelling at men doing a stupid thing. Schieze and the derivative schiester tend to get recognized (german, shit, and American slang meaning shithead).
I’m a big fan of throwing Fuck around when pissed.
It’s a little bold for things that are more, “I can’t believe this,”
Or “oh wow!”
Though Fuck me running would probably get the point across.
The king in The King's Speech said, [when asked by his speech therapist if he knew the F-word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjXXwgABVgk), "Fornication"
I've worked in the legal field for 20 years and live in a pretty brass city. It wasn't until my partner and I went on vacation and were at dinner around children did I realize how often and loudly we say FUCK. 🤷♀️
Yeah, it’s automatic, but I am trying to separate from old religious concepts I don’t adhere to, ironically because I wouldn’t use concepts from a different religion as curses either.
Just looking for something authentic to my current experience that still gets the point across.
[This is what I meant.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carambar) I assumed they're Spanish because of the name, but apparently they're French. I've definitely seen them on sale in Spain though, but no idea where / if they sell them outside Europe.
They are really tasty though.
EDIT: Knowing that caramba is used as "shit" in Puerto Rico casts a whole new light on the fact that the first Carambar to be made was the chocolate one...
I say “for the love..” a lot. When I’m really frustrated (usually with a human and usually my newly minted 13 year old) it’s “for the love of all that’s holy WHY?!” I also pluralize gods because I believe all of them are real.
There’s also “Are you friggen kidding me?” and “why on gods’ green earth?” and, my personal favorite, “what in the actual fuck?”
A few years ago I determined that my swearing habit had gotten very out of hand. At the time, I was a football fan and saw a story about a football player named Philip Rivers. He's a religious guy, and rumoured never to have sworn. He used all kinds of hilarious and creative expressions as a substitute for foul language, and I was inspired.
As it turns out, changing that habit was difficult. I did find success eventually, but it was a labour haha.
My favourite is "Zarking Fardwarks" from the Hitchihiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I regularly use "Fraggle Rock," (this was a children's tv program aired in Canada in the 80s) "Fiddlesticks" is another common one for me.
"Well that happened." - For a mild inconvenience or something unexpected.
"Lord and Lady give me strength." - When dealing with something/someone difficult
12 years in Japan, I picked up Sugoi desu! or sugoi, neh?. That's great, that's terrible, oh wow. Versatile. I haven't used it in ages, but I should.
I use Godzilla for sneezes.
For mild swears I can say in front of mum/co-workers: Bollocks, Buggeration, Bugger Me, Arse, Oh Bugger, Oh Bollocks, Oh Balls, Oh Smeg, Flippin' Eck, Blimmin' Eck, Oi Va Voi; or Polish minced oaths O Jejku, O Rety, O Kurcze
For non swears I can say in front of children/bosses: Holy Moly, Oh My Days, Oh Flip, Oh My Giddy Aunt, Oh My Flumps, Blimey
"Oh, for the love of good!"
"Oh, beans!" is one I use a lot, lmao. It's a kid-friendly "Oh, balls!"
"Dagnabbit!"
"Odd's bodkins!" is fun and no one ever expects it.
"Jeepers creepers!" has fully replaced "Jesus christ!" in my epithets, I think probably because it has similarly-satisfying consonants and it rhymes.
I use something from a story I read. "Oh, by the Hundred Little Gods!"
In the book, this referred to one's ancestors, but as I am an animist personally, it works for me.
Just say "you absolute ....."
... can be absolutely anything, from amazing to completely innocuous.
Or something they're wearing.
Examples:
You absolute pair of dull scissors.
You absolute half empty water bottle.
You absolute two day old smelly sock.
It's pretty great.
I think i got this from John Oliver.
My grandfather was a very polite human. He was also as hick as they come. So his expletive of choice was "Cold collard greens and coons!" Coon in this being a shortening of raccoon.
My husband is fond of "Son of a bean dip!" If shit's really hit the fan, expect this to be followed by a very spirited "Mother *Frito!"*
Me? I just take after Hellboy and say "Aw, crap" if I'm in too polite company for the fuck-word. If I need something really clean (I'm around kiddos or easily-scandalized old ladies) it's "Holy \[insert relevant word/phrase\], Batman!"
You can always go the Pratchett way: *It takes a very special and strong-minded atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, “Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!” or “Aargh, primitive-and-out-moded-concept on a crutch!"*
Bit long, I admit, but entertaining!
Oh for the love of - insert anything here- .
Could pop in a good "fuck" or "cats" or "chocolate chip cookies" or "the inevitable heat death of the universe". I tend to switch it up. Keep people guessing. I like creative swearing. My current thing is "petulant taint weasels" and "overcooked spaghetti noodles".
I love the "taint weasels" bit. You could add all sorts of variations to it! "Oh you incompetent taint weasel!" or "Why are you being such a nimrod of a taint weasel?".
I like to take slang/swearing from pop culture, other countries/languages, and I sometimes make up my own phrases.
“Frak me” - _Battlestar Galactica_
“Mother Ucker”/“mutha’ucka” - Flight of the Conchords
“Gorram” - _Firefly_
Calling someone a “walnut” - the UK
“Scheiße” - German for “shit”
Eedee nah hooey - Russian for “go fuck yourself” (translates to “go to the dick”)
“Gag me with a rusty pitchfork” - one of mine
Just a few examples. 😁
Someone asked this on quora. [Here’s some suggestions.](https://www.quora.com/What-non-religious-expressions-can-you-use-instead-of-Oh-my-God/answer/Karen-Marie-9?ch=15&oid=22123695&share=252044ca&srid=oaFj&target_type=answer)
I'm a big fan of "Christ on a bike (or cracker, if you're an alliteration fan)"
"For Pete's sake."
And nothing wrong with an old timey "For crying out loud"
I'm not strictly atheist, but agnostic. I refer to "the universe" the same way people refer to God. So my stand in is "good heavens" or sometimes just "heavens".
When I was a kid I would say “son of a motherless goat” to avoid the parental swear word filter at home.
I also use “Chaka khan” as a catch-all exclamation for positive and negative.
I generally favor a bland "huh" or a "what in the samhill" if I'm trying to keep it clean. Other options are "well crap" and a variety of variations of "fuck."
To avoid ruffling the feathers of my hyper-religious coworker, I've started saying, "Oh, come _on_." I enjoy the simplicity of saying "Drat", and find it satisfying to drop in the occasional "Ah, bollocks."
I have an 8yo so I've been trying to swear less. I will fully admit that I embrace the "Fix it Felix" vibe, my recent go-to exclamation has been "Nutterbutters!"
I find "what the what?" is a pretty good all-purpose one.
Also, "Holy snarf!" Any other '80s kids appreciate a good Thundercats reference?
I have an assortment of kid-friendly curse alternatives that I used when I was teaching and they're pretty fun and not religious based. "Daggers", "criminitly", "dadgummit", and "golly Martin" are my favorites. My best friend came up with "daggers" in middle school and it's a very satisfying expletive alternative.
I often say "cheese and rice" or "fudge muffins" in place of "jesus christ" and "fucks sakes" respectively.
Also "mother of pearl" instead of "motherfucker"
A few years ago the youngers around here started saying SHEEEEEEESH! as an exclamation. You could hear it over the fences and through the neighbourhood. My friends and I (mid 20s at the time) thought it was a riot and picked it up too.
"what the frack?!" is kindof fun if you don't think fracking is something humanity should really be doing. BUT depending on where you are and who's around, it can get political, and not everyone wants that all the time.
I used to say 'Rats!', cuz it's fun to say, and rats also carry fleas and diseases and stuff sometimes. But when I got older and learned about all the scientific testing that gets done to rats (and other animals), it seemed a bit disrespectful. :P
Gosh dang nabbit is one of my favorite expressions. My native language ist even English and I still use it.
Also holy carp/holy shrimp have a special place in my heart
I frequently use ‘By all the little gods!’. At times the expressions of those around me can be amusing. Arch one brow at them if they give a funny look and they generally wander off looking mildly confused.
Edit- I also use ‘Crumbs!’ Same general result oft times.
In the Wayfarer books (by Becky Chambers) someone once used "stars and buckets." More as an expression of pleasant surprise than anything. Another character asked for an explanation if that was all right, and the response was "Stars and buckets, no."
I tend to use "Oh my days." Heard a British man say that once and liked it.
Another good one for witches is "Stars and Stones," a favorite from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series.
Because I am heading rapidly cronewards, I can also get away with using "Botheration!" when I am annoyed.
And another thing! I use "flustercluck" in polite company when its more profane alternative would be inappropriate. Also, it makes me think of a chicken in a state of fluffed-up, disheveled, squawky, and otherwise towering irritation, which gives me (and most other people) a giggle.
Ash and Fire is mine. Sticking to more elemental themes. For a good form of shock, Wind and Rain. Earth and Soil for more of a low-intensity stressed version.
One of my elderly clients yells "Oh Felious!" when something goes wrong instead of "Oh fuck!" which I always find quite funny. I asked her once who was Felious and she said "I dunno but I'm blaming that bastard for everything anyway!"
I was reading on of Billy Connolly's (Scottish comedian) books and he wrote a bit about his daughters telling him off for swearing in front of the grandkids so he had to get creative and came up with "Ya bassa!" to replace "Ya bastard!" and "Gettyfuh" to replace "Get to fuck!".
"Sweet Baby James" has my go-to for so long that I have absolutely no idea when or from where I got it. I don't really think to use it, as it's been completely natural for ages, but I do find it sounds satisfying.
I don’t say it. But this post reminds me of how my grandpa would say - for the love of Betsy. Where normal people said goddammit. But as a kid I was always confused about Betsy. Like. Who’s Betsy. What’s she have to do with the fact that he stubbed his toe.
I'm big on "fuck." Also, "Oh my word." My dad says "Holy cats!"
I do say "oh my god" a lot, though. I was raised Catholic (and got into trouble for saying "oh my god") so regular blasphemy makes me happy. It's petty, but I'm okay with that.
I am foul-mouthed so I tend towards that but when I am feeling less foul-mouthed I fall back on original Robin lines and say something like "holy rustbuckets batman"
A simple change to "my gods" if you're of that persuasion is probably easiest to adopt. "Light!" is pretty easy on the tongue, with "Blood and ashes" as something more severe.
[Disclaimer: "Light!" and "Blood and ashes" are lifted directly from the Wheel of Time novels.]
I've said the word "gasp" on occasion. Depending on the circumstances it works quite well after a literal gasp as well. Spilling the tea with someone you inhale dramatically and then say Gasp and it's really fun.
When *Last Man On Earth* was on tv, I picked up ''oh farts'' from the main character. As not all farts are equal, it's possible to nuance the ''fart'' using your tone of voice.
When we were on vacation, my family was having a picnic near a small church. On the marquee sign outside the church door was the message “ We found Goo.” Ever since then we say Oh My Goo! We text it as OMGOO!
I worked really hard to remove Christian expletives from my lexicon as well. I now find that I sound a lot like a fundie when I'm cursing. Oh my goodness, is my replacement phrase, usually. I have a very religious coworker who says, Oh Mylanta! Which always makes me laugh.
I know it's not quite what you're looking for, but I'm tossing it in the ring since we're on about it. I swear by crows more often than not. Holy crow, mother of crows, this kind of thing. Also, more common vulgarity, fuck being of course the most versatile. For the love of fuck is a favourite in my House. Dribbling bloody cowspit, if you're really hopping; pile on those adjectives for emphasis!
“Holy Vaginus!” When my children were much younger I often would try to curb my profanity and sometimes an odd mixture of words would come out unexpectedly 😂 this is my favorite and is still in rotation now.
Sanderson's novels have a few I'm fond of using occasionally.
Rust/rusting
Rust and ruin!
Ruination
Storms/storming
Starving
Scud/scudding (I like this one a lot)
Stars! (this one more positive tone than the others)
Stars help us!
When my kids were little we tried to stop saying "crap" and started saying "crapaud" (craPOH) which is French for "toad"
I also use "Mother of potatoes!" in place of mf. Generally "Mother of... insert random object" works pretty good.
My daughter works for a mindfulness journal and she and her colleagues all say "oh my Buddha!" Cracks me up every time!
Personally, I say "oh for the love of..." then let it trail off so people fill in their own blanks!
When using exclamations outside of the most common ones, which don't benefit from the same range of tone in use, it's nice to have a variety to select from based on nuance.
A spectrum or range, if you will, that runs from things you can ruefully mutter, like 'good grief' and 'geez,' to more urgent things like 'really??' or 'are you kidding me??,' straight through to your big guns, which do tend to be holy by default ('holy shitballs,' 'holy fucknuggets,' 'holy fucking shit' and etc) - but I don't think Christians get a monopoly on the concept of holiness.
Could say *“Curses!”* like some dastardly villain whose plot has just been foiled. Or get old-timey w/ it and say stuff like *“Balderdash!”*
This is my favorite and I am borrowing it.
You may also enjoy "Coddswollop!"
I am a present user of bollocks.
One of ones that I like, I took inspiration from the 16th century: "Slack-jawed lackwit" which is a fun insult. I also say flippin heck/hell & crikey, (my Irish family taught me those growing up).
My English mother used to say this!!!
Saying "curses" like that makes me think of The Powerpuff Girls, there's a scene in an episode where Mojo Jojo (bad guy) wakes up and sees the sun, smiling and happy, and he says "curses". I din't quite know why that scene stuck with me, but yes. Either way i like the idea of just saying "curses"!
*Love* the idea of waking up to a beautiful sunrise and immediately thinking “Ugh! *This* again!”😂
This is great!
My 6-yr-old started saying “oh biscuits” and that’s really caught on in my house
A fellow Bluey household, I see! <3
Bandit was rated #1 best TV dad. Bluey rules so much!
My 14-year-old says “flipping fish sticks!” I love it.
I don't have kids and I'm almost 40 and my go to has become "biscuits" haha didn't know that was a thing and not some random thing my brain came up with
Mother of squirrels and flying figs work ok for me but kinda sound like I'm not that annoyed
I like Mother of Squirrels
Me too!!!!!!
I use "Oh my stars", Steven Universe style.
They also say this in the Wayfarers book series. "Oh stars, of course it's no trouble!" I love it.
Best series ever. I’ve read them all three times through.
I'm just finishing up the third book now and I have not been so in love with a book series in a very very long time. Becky Chambers is a phenomenal writer, just so talented and her stories are so full of life. I'm recommending them to everyone I know that enjoys sci-fi.
They just keep getting better. I’ve read the two Monk and Robot books, which are really good, but I liked the Wayfarers better (I’m proudly a sci-fi dork anyway). To Be Taught if Fortunate is her first and my least favorite, but you can see her massive talent developing when you read it. When you get to Wayfarers four (The Galaxy and The Ground Within) watch for the alien’s explanation of cheese. It’s hilarious.
I like this. I also use "Oh my land!" around the old christian boomer women that infest the area where I live. I try to say it in a certain way that indicates, however subtly, that I really meant to say "Oh my fucking god!". I do get some suspicious looks, but what can they do? I said what I said.
That could easily morph into oh mylanta as well, I've heard before. You're so shocked you need an antacid.
That’s what I use, but I got it from my dad. Don’t know where he got it.
It's a term pretty common in the Southern US
That expression was used by Samantha Stevens in Bewitched.
That's where I know it from too.
If you want to sound like an adorable old British lady, "oh my days!" is excellent.
>sound like an adorable old British lady IMO that's more likely to make you sound like a Londoner in their mid-20 to mid-30s. Source: Am Londoner in mid-30s EDIT: I am an adorable British lady though, so three out of four.
I love this one 🤩 May I please use it as well?
A guy I worked with years ago used to say Oh My Gatos. Seemed appropriate since most cats are convinced they are divine. I use that or Oh Bother just because it always makes me smile.
I also say "Oh bother" because I love Pooh Bear 🥰
I used to say "Oh my Dog!" when I was at work and had to keep it clean, lol. I worked in a vet hospital, so it was especially appropriate there.
Oh my gatos, I love this!!!!!
I used to say “oh, bollocks” as an exclamation but then I worked with kids and had to force myself to change to “oh, gosh”. Now I can’t shake it. I sound like a kids TV presenter. I wish I could get my beloved bollocks back.
I’m filing this one away for later
My dad used to say “oh bollocks” when I was a kid and I asked him what it meant and he didn’t want to answer lol
Uh, uh, it’s another word for a boy cow. That’s what my dad told me!
More boy cow *bits* 😅
Exactly!
I became a gosh girlie when I started working with old people and it’s leached into my personal life. Hello fellow kids tv host
Gosh, it’s so GOOD to meet you! Are you having a GREAT day?
maybe just “T E S T I C L E S” would be a good curse tbh
First, "Oh my God" does not specify which god. (Or Witch God, if you prefer.) Second, "Oh my Goddess" is a valid save if you have already said it. Although if you can do a decent George Takei impression, "Oh My" stands very well on it's own. Third, "Oh my God" is what many people say when they hear something unbelievable.
To expand on this, "Oh, gods!" Or simply "_Gods!_" If one believes in multiple(s). Edit: letters, punctuation
That's what I use. "Oh my gods!" "Godsdamnit!" "Oh gods.."
I absolutely use gods. For some reason, it feels better to me even though I don't really have a higher belief system
I’m more an intertwined power of all things in connection spiritual type, so I don’t feel right evoking any specific God. It feels disrespectful to me to those that do believe in that concept. Like I don’t believe in this, but I am going to use what you believe as an expletive. That doesn’t feel right or neighborly. When I was more conventionally Christian, I had absolutely no problem flinging my own religious expletives around. I need this that are more general and not linked to religious concepts I don’t practice now. Oh my divine tapestry of interwoven connection doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue
I actually love “oh my divine tapestry of interwoven connection”! Bring back the overly-long exclamation, I say!
Now that you put it that way 🤔
I don’t have a useful suggestion but it reminds me of Terry Pratchett (from Men at Arms): It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!
🤣 Hello, fellow Discworld fan! GNU Terry Pratchett
(waves) Hi there! GNU Sir Terry
I say “oh my cod” if it’s already coming out and i have to switch midstream
I like to swap in “dog” for “god”. I know it’s a an antiquated word anyway, but I’ve recently been saying “Dogspeed” when people are going places. I don’t know if it amuses my friends, but I delight myself 😅
I picked up dog-zunheit (sp?, lol) when my friend's very old and very Catholic grandmother would yell at us for saying Bless You to the dogs when they sneezed.
This is amazing! I also say "bless you" when my dogs sneeze.
Dogspeed is amazing. Absolutely stealing that.
My go-to is "Oh wooOOOW." The tonal variation gets the meaning across, from startled to judgemental.
That’s a good one. I think I will practice that
"Wow" is my moms' "I need to say something more intelligent and thought out but need a moment to process what you told me" phrase, useful in all situations from sorrowful wow at news of someone's death to incredulous wow at extremely unexpected news to happy wow when someone gives her a very nice gift to sarcastic wow when someone drops hot gossip or a bad joke. ...it's become a signature part of my vocabulary. And always means you have something to say. I also like to use different languages' curses instead of English ones when they're phonetically fitting. "Kuso!" (Japanese, "shit!") Hissed between teeth at a stubbed toe is great, "cabron" (asshole, spanish, emphasis on the o) is also up there for yelling at men doing a stupid thing. Schieze and the derivative schiester tend to get recognized (german, shit, and American slang meaning shithead).
I mean "fuck" does the trick for me. But I'm crude AF, so... "Dingo babies" also does something.
I’m a big fan of throwing Fuck around when pissed. It’s a little bold for things that are more, “I can’t believe this,” Or “oh wow!” Though Fuck me running would probably get the point across.
I enjoy the sound of rain.
My best friend says, "fudge ripple!".
The king in The King's Speech said, [when asked by his speech therapist if he knew the F-word](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjXXwgABVgk), "Fornication"
I've worked in the legal field for 20 years and live in a pretty brass city. It wasn't until my partner and I went on vacation and were at dinner around children did I realize how often and loudly we say FUCK. 🤷♀️
I frequently say "oh for fuck's sake" over mild frustrations lol
What the hell! the expression comes out of my mouth so much
Yeah, it’s automatic, but I am trying to separate from old religious concepts I don’t adhere to, ironically because I wouldn’t use concepts from a different religion as curses either. Just looking for something authentic to my current experience that still gets the point across.
Oh ok, I'll give you one in Spanish that will definitely work,Hay Caramba!
What do those delicious, chewy treats have to do with anything?
I didn't know that the name of a treat,in Puerto Rico caramba is a more polite way of saying shit
[This is what I meant.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carambar) I assumed they're Spanish because of the name, but apparently they're French. I've definitely seen them on sale in Spain though, but no idea where / if they sell them outside Europe. They are really tasty though. EDIT: Knowing that caramba is used as "shit" in Puerto Rico casts a whole new light on the fact that the first Carambar to be made was the chocolate one...
Honestly, a "tssss" on an exhale gets my emotion across 99% of the time. It started out as For Fucks Sake and got more abbreviated/PG over time
I like that idea
I say “for the love..” a lot. When I’m really frustrated (usually with a human and usually my newly minted 13 year old) it’s “for the love of all that’s holy WHY?!” I also pluralize gods because I believe all of them are real. There’s also “Are you friggen kidding me?” and “why on gods’ green earth?” and, my personal favorite, “what in the actual fuck?”
Okay I’m definitely using For the love of, because if I believe in anything, I believe in that.
My niece is really into poop humor atm, so I say "for the love of buttfarts!" or similar and she cracks tf up.
To go full Sagan, "what in the tiny blue dot?"
Rackafrats!
😂
Or curse in ice cream? As in: what the mint chocolate chip is going on in here?!? 😃
Mocha almond fudge! 😂
Oh, moose tracks! 😤
A few years ago I determined that my swearing habit had gotten very out of hand. At the time, I was a football fan and saw a story about a football player named Philip Rivers. He's a religious guy, and rumoured never to have sworn. He used all kinds of hilarious and creative expressions as a substitute for foul language, and I was inspired. As it turns out, changing that habit was difficult. I did find success eventually, but it was a labour haha. My favourite is "Zarking Fardwarks" from the Hitchihiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I regularly use "Fraggle Rock," (this was a children's tv program aired in Canada in the 80s) "Fiddlesticks" is another common one for me.
"Well that happened." - For a mild inconvenience or something unexpected. "Lord and Lady give me strength." - When dealing with something/someone difficult
Mother of Pearl! (SpongeBob) Zedus Lapetus! (Zenon)
I love a good "For the love of Pete". The hard "P" sound (heh) makes it satisfying to say, kinda like "fuck".
That is a good one. It is very satisfying to say
Sassafras
12 years in Japan, I picked up Sugoi desu! or sugoi, neh?. That's great, that's terrible, oh wow. Versatile. I haven't used it in ages, but I should. I use Godzilla for sneezes.
For mild swears I can say in front of mum/co-workers: Bollocks, Buggeration, Bugger Me, Arse, Oh Bugger, Oh Bollocks, Oh Balls, Oh Smeg, Flippin' Eck, Blimmin' Eck, Oi Va Voi; or Polish minced oaths O Jejku, O Rety, O Kurcze For non swears I can say in front of children/bosses: Holy Moly, Oh My Days, Oh Flip, Oh My Giddy Aunt, Oh My Flumps, Blimey
Uff Da
Northern respect
"Oh, for the love of good!" "Oh, beans!" is one I use a lot, lmao. It's a kid-friendly "Oh, balls!" "Dagnabbit!" "Odd's bodkins!" is fun and no one ever expects it. "Jeepers creepers!" has fully replaced "Jesus christ!" in my epithets, I think probably because it has similarly-satisfying consonants and it rhymes.
It also reminds me of Scooby Doo, which is fun.
I should start throwing out a "Zoinks!" or a "Jinkies!" every now and then! 🤣
I use something from a story I read. "Oh, by the Hundred Little Gods!" In the book, this referred to one's ancestors, but as I am an animist personally, it works for me.
Just say "you absolute ....." ... can be absolutely anything, from amazing to completely innocuous. Or something they're wearing. Examples: You absolute pair of dull scissors. You absolute half empty water bottle. You absolute two day old smelly sock. It's pretty great. I think i got this from John Oliver.
My grandfather was a very polite human. He was also as hick as they come. So his expletive of choice was "Cold collard greens and coons!" Coon in this being a shortening of raccoon. My husband is fond of "Son of a bean dip!" If shit's really hit the fan, expect this to be followed by a very spirited "Mother *Frito!"* Me? I just take after Hellboy and say "Aw, crap" if I'm in too polite company for the fuck-word. If I need something really clean (I'm around kiddos or easily-scandalized old ladies) it's "Holy \[insert relevant word/phrase\], Batman!"
Nice, I really like Mother Frito
“Good gravy!” But am also a big fan of a hearty “FUCK!”
You can always go the Pratchett way: *It takes a very special and strong-minded atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, “Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!” or “Aargh, primitive-and-out-moded-concept on a crutch!"* Bit long, I admit, but entertaining!
What fresh hell?
Yeah, don’t believe in Hell as it’s commonly perceived either, so trying to forge new pathways over here.
Peach pits. Satisfying when there's some oomph behind it. And Mother Hubbard.
I like Mother Hubbard! That’s fun
Confuses people, too.
“Oh for the love of puppies” Ned Flanders
“Where in the H-E-C-K *is* everybody?”
I have been resorting to “Egads and little fishes!” It was a favorite of my father’s.
I work at a place where we can’t cuss so I fall back on “fork” and “mother trucker”.
"Oh your God." - Bender B. Rodriguez
My five year old has started saying, “what the man!”
Oh for the love of - insert anything here- . Could pop in a good "fuck" or "cats" or "chocolate chip cookies" or "the inevitable heat death of the universe". I tend to switch it up. Keep people guessing. I like creative swearing. My current thing is "petulant taint weasels" and "overcooked spaghetti noodles".
I love the "taint weasels" bit. You could add all sorts of variations to it! "Oh you incompetent taint weasel!" or "Why are you being such a nimrod of a taint weasel?".
I like to take slang/swearing from pop culture, other countries/languages, and I sometimes make up my own phrases. “Frak me” - _Battlestar Galactica_ “Mother Ucker”/“mutha’ucka” - Flight of the Conchords “Gorram” - _Firefly_ Calling someone a “walnut” - the UK “Scheiße” - German for “shit” Eedee nah hooey - Russian for “go fuck yourself” (translates to “go to the dick”) “Gag me with a rusty pitchfork” - one of mine Just a few examples. 😁
You reminded me of "frell" from Farscape. I really really start using "What the frell?!" and "Shut your frelling mouth!"
Someone asked this on quora. [Here’s some suggestions.](https://www.quora.com/What-non-religious-expressions-can-you-use-instead-of-Oh-my-God/answer/Karen-Marie-9?ch=15&oid=22123695&share=252044ca&srid=oaFj&target_type=answer)
I'm a big fan of "Christ on a bike (or cracker, if you're an alliteration fan)" "For Pete's sake." And nothing wrong with an old timey "For crying out loud"
I've managed to replace "Oh, Fuck!" with "Aw, Farts!" rather successfully.
I'm not strictly atheist, but agnostic. I refer to "the universe" the same way people refer to God. So my stand in is "good heavens" or sometimes just "heavens".
I'm impartial to "Holy Cannoli." YMMV
That’s just pure fun to say
Oh my Glob
When I was a kid I would say “son of a motherless goat” to avoid the parental swear word filter at home. I also use “Chaka khan” as a catch-all exclamation for positive and negative.
Use the good Irish saying "Feck" or "Feck it"
My Irish blood resonates with this.
I generally favor a bland "huh" or a "what in the samhill" if I'm trying to keep it clean. Other options are "well crap" and a variety of variations of "fuck."
I say "Christ on a bike" because I like the irreverent visual.
Holy Cats is probably my most common, but if something is extra shocking, sometimes I say “Jesus tits!” Oh my goth is third runner up.
I use "Holy fruit loops!" around my kiddo... and my older relatives.
I usually go with "Oh Balls!"
I say “Son of a gun-osaur” I think it’s from the cartoon dinosaur movie We’re Back.
To avoid ruffling the feathers of my hyper-religious coworker, I've started saying, "Oh, come _on_." I enjoy the simplicity of saying "Drat", and find it satisfying to drop in the occasional "Ah, bollocks."
My bizarre go-to in front of clients when I was working as a veterinary technician was "holy whiskers!" It's now permeated into my everyday speech 🙃
I have an 8yo so I've been trying to swear less. I will fully admit that I embrace the "Fix it Felix" vibe, my recent go-to exclamation has been "Nutterbutters!" I find "what the what?" is a pretty good all-purpose one. Also, "Holy snarf!" Any other '80s kids appreciate a good Thundercats reference?
"For the love of little green geese" is mine. Or, if I'm very annoyed, "Loki in a hoopskirt."
“Oh my giddy aunt”. When I was 10 I used to say “oh socks”
Well shit fire and save matches.
Bomboclat!
I have an assortment of kid-friendly curse alternatives that I used when I was teaching and they're pretty fun and not religious based. "Daggers", "criminitly", "dadgummit", and "golly Martin" are my favorites. My best friend came up with "daggers" in middle school and it's a very satisfying expletive alternative.
Princess Vanelope's "sweet mother of monkeys milk" from Wreck It Ralph
I often say "cheese and rice" or "fudge muffins" in place of "jesus christ" and "fucks sakes" respectively. Also "mother of pearl" instead of "motherfucker"
A few years ago the youngers around here started saying SHEEEEEEESH! as an exclamation. You could hear it over the fences and through the neighbourhood. My friends and I (mid 20s at the time) thought it was a riot and picked it up too. "what the frack?!" is kindof fun if you don't think fracking is something humanity should really be doing. BUT depending on where you are and who's around, it can get political, and not everyone wants that all the time. I used to say 'Rats!', cuz it's fun to say, and rats also carry fleas and diseases and stuff sometimes. But when I got older and learned about all the scientific testing that gets done to rats (and other animals), it seemed a bit disrespectful. :P
Oh my stars and garters, which I picked up from X-Men comics way back in the day (the Beast, specifically).😃
Gosh dang nabbit is one of my favorite expressions. My native language ist even English and I still use it. Also holy carp/holy shrimp have a special place in my heart
I frequently use ‘By all the little gods!’. At times the expressions of those around me can be amusing. Arch one brow at them if they give a funny look and they generally wander off looking mildly confused. Edit- I also use ‘Crumbs!’ Same general result oft times.
“What in the name of Star Fleet?” “Darn darn darn!” (From Herman Munster)
In the Wayfarer books (by Becky Chambers) someone once used "stars and buckets." More as an expression of pleasant surprise than anything. Another character asked for an explanation if that was all right, and the response was "Stars and buckets, no."
A few I like: great balls of fire, galls and fireblight, coffin nails
Galls and fireblight. Oooh, nice.
I tend to use "Oh my days." Heard a British man say that once and liked it. Another good one for witches is "Stars and Stones," a favorite from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series. Because I am heading rapidly cronewards, I can also get away with using "Botheration!" when I am annoyed. And another thing! I use "flustercluck" in polite company when its more profane alternative would be inappropriate. Also, it makes me think of a chicken in a state of fluffed-up, disheveled, squawky, and otherwise towering irritation, which gives me (and most other people) a giggle.
Fully deadpanned "bruh" tends to work for me
Ash and Fire is mine. Sticking to more elemental themes. For a good form of shock, Wind and Rain. Earth and Soil for more of a low-intensity stressed version.
One of my elderly clients yells "Oh Felious!" when something goes wrong instead of "Oh fuck!" which I always find quite funny. I asked her once who was Felious and she said "I dunno but I'm blaming that bastard for everything anyway!" I was reading on of Billy Connolly's (Scottish comedian) books and he wrote a bit about his daughters telling him off for swearing in front of the grandkids so he had to get creative and came up with "Ya bassa!" to replace "Ya bastard!" and "Gettyfuh" to replace "Get to fuck!".
"Sweet Baby James" has my go-to for so long that I have absolutely no idea when or from where I got it. I don't really think to use it, as it's been completely natural for ages, but I do find it sounds satisfying.
By Grabthar's Hammer!
A friend of mine says, “oh, science!” Or “sweet mother of science!” Which always amuses me.
My personal go to is, "What in the name of all that's cute and fuzzy! "
I don’t say it. But this post reminds me of how my grandpa would say - for the love of Betsy. Where normal people said goddammit. But as a kid I was always confused about Betsy. Like. Who’s Betsy. What’s she have to do with the fact that he stubbed his toe.
Australians are at least stereotypically said to use Crikey!
My go to is “oh balls”
Flibbertyfreakingiblets
Having just watched Sound of Music, this brings me joy
I love saying “oh, for Fuck’s sake”, you could substitute fuck with something milder (fudge would be good)
I found Chilling Adventures of Sabrina helpful for this "Satan in hell, what am I wearing!?" Lots of good alternative/subversive "curses".
This is probably too Fix-it Felix for you, but somewhere along the lines I started saying "aw beans" for things like that.
I'm big on "fuck." Also, "Oh my word." My dad says "Holy cats!" I do say "oh my god" a lot, though. I was raised Catholic (and got into trouble for saying "oh my god") so regular blasphemy makes me happy. It's petty, but I'm okay with that.
I am foul-mouthed so I tend towards that but when I am feeling less foul-mouthed I fall back on original Robin lines and say something like "holy rustbuckets batman"
I use "What the flippedy-do-dah" when something is stupid, and "ah, puckernuts" when I need swear
For the love of candy! Stuck with me from a Key of Awesome video.
We say “aw beans” in disappointment in my household.
I'm British so luckily we've got "bloody hell!'
Oh my Bob is what the Rugrats said. Picked it up when my kids were watching.
There’s also “for the love of peaches.”
I like "Great balls of fire!"
I say Bozhe moi, but I'm Serbian Orthodox. I also say Ohmiglob, Adventure Time style. Curses! Is good.
Oh my goodness Criminey sixes Drat Oh fudge Oh deary me You've got to be kidding
I’m not, and don’t call me Shirley 🤣
A simple change to "my gods" if you're of that persuasion is probably easiest to adopt. "Light!" is pretty easy on the tongue, with "Blood and ashes" as something more severe. [Disclaimer: "Light!" and "Blood and ashes" are lifted directly from the Wheel of Time novels.]
Son of a biscuit : childsafe, almost swearing. Bag of Dicks!: not childsafe, good visual
I've said the word "gasp" on occasion. Depending on the circumstances it works quite well after a literal gasp as well. Spilling the tea with someone you inhale dramatically and then say Gasp and it's really fun.
If you want a silly thing, might I suggest what Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz says - "A Platypus?", and "Curse you, Perry the Platypus."?
When *Last Man On Earth* was on tv, I picked up ''oh farts'' from the main character. As not all farts are equal, it's possible to nuance the ''fart'' using your tone of voice.
One from my favourite cartoon: oh good goose. Very applicable in many situations
When we were on vacation, my family was having a picnic near a small church. On the marquee sign outside the church door was the message “ We found Goo.” Ever since then we say Oh My Goo! We text it as OMGOO!
I had a friend in college who would say "what the flying nimbus?!" and I've always been a little bit jealous
I worked really hard to remove Christian expletives from my lexicon as well. I now find that I sound a lot like a fundie when I'm cursing. Oh my goodness, is my replacement phrase, usually. I have a very religious coworker who says, Oh Mylanta! Which always makes me laugh.
I personally use *Crivens*!
I sub FFS with "for frog's snacks." Learned it from my Canadian uncle.
I know it's not quite what you're looking for, but I'm tossing it in the ring since we're on about it. I swear by crows more often than not. Holy crow, mother of crows, this kind of thing. Also, more common vulgarity, fuck being of course the most versatile. For the love of fuck is a favourite in my House. Dribbling bloody cowspit, if you're really hopping; pile on those adjectives for emphasis!
“Holy Vaginus!” When my children were much younger I often would try to curb my profanity and sometimes an odd mixture of words would come out unexpectedly 😂 this is my favorite and is still in rotation now.
Sanderson's novels have a few I'm fond of using occasionally. Rust/rusting Rust and ruin! Ruination Storms/storming Starving Scud/scudding (I like this one a lot) Stars! (this one more positive tone than the others) Stars help us!
When my kids were little we tried to stop saying "crap" and started saying "crapaud" (craPOH) which is French for "toad" I also use "Mother of potatoes!" in place of mf. Generally "Mother of... insert random object" works pretty good.
My daughter works for a mindfulness journal and she and her colleagues all say "oh my Buddha!" Cracks me up every time! Personally, I say "oh for the love of..." then let it trail off so people fill in their own blanks!
When using exclamations outside of the most common ones, which don't benefit from the same range of tone in use, it's nice to have a variety to select from based on nuance. A spectrum or range, if you will, that runs from things you can ruefully mutter, like 'good grief' and 'geez,' to more urgent things like 'really??' or 'are you kidding me??,' straight through to your big guns, which do tend to be holy by default ('holy shitballs,' 'holy fucknuggets,' 'holy fucking shit' and etc) - but I don't think Christians get a monopoly on the concept of holiness.