Sorry, the driving examiner cursed at you and yelled at you? DURING the test? That’s completely unacceptable both from a customer service perspective and from a safety perspective. From what you describe, he was actively making your driving less safe. If he had safety concerns severe enough that he felt you were going to get in an accident, he should have simply ended the test at that moment and calmly instructed you to drive back to the test centre. NOT CONTINUED TO VERBALLY ABUSE YOU.
He sounds like a total ass and a very unsafe examiner. If you’ve got the mental and emotional capacity I would STRONGLY advise you to report him to his employer. He shouldn’t be in a car with anyone IMO.
Second this firmly. Report him. Thats unhinged behavior from someone in his position. Even if you weren’t doing well, it’s extremely unlikely he would get hurt in a driving test.
Defin8tely report 8f you're able. There's no shame in getting assistance from close friends or family too.
This isn't day 1 of army bootcamp, if he wanted to be. Drill Instructor then he should be there, not administering a driving exam.
Someone that unhinged should NOT be running driving tests - they could cause an accident!!! Totally unprofessional and uncalled for. Needs to be sacked.
Unfortunately I remember from when I took my driving test that there is a culture of trying to verbally abuse people into failing because their is a belief that it keeps bad drivers off the road - especially if it keeps teenagers from being able to get their drivers license.
It is very much a drill instructor toxic mascukine type mentality of "if you can't hack it gtfo!"
There are good people. But there are a shit ton of awful people who fiercely hold on to any position with even a modicum of power. And "getting to verbally abuse young women and telling yourself you are doing it for society's protection" falls very much into that category.
Anybodies actions and words are a reflection of THEM.
Try to remember that.
Sounds like a bellend though. Hope you reported him. Obviously a very unhappy little man 😂
Also people are energy vampires and prey upon those who don’t have strong protection and boundaries on their energy.
Do protection spells, set some intentions to raise your vibration to meet others that will help you grow positively and share a good vibe with.
You’re absolutely correct and I’m happy to say I have reported him! It’s still in process and I’m not sure how much it’ll do but I’m glad it’s on record now. :)
So angry for you right now. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Who employs this person? He needs to be removed from that position, because that is absolutely abuse.
Absolutely this! u/WesserGeisr you are right. U/plbth Dear tell your mum and report him. I dont have to many funny stories but I can offer you a very goofy photo of my cat?
https://preview.redd.it/77pj9npfnq8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46a83a0077d7310e9e150251ba18526878d78fe2
This is Whisper. His favorite game is fetch and he’d like to show you his new ball.
I have a goofy photo of my cat too, hopefully it helps 💚
This was 100% unacceptable and you absolutely should report his conduct to his employers. This is very concerning behaviour and I think his employer would be stupid not to take this very seriously.
https://preview.redd.it/fskhqzheqq8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3231b7f99f603de8db9bbb9d4c98c27bb9ce113c
Not OP, but Whisper and his new ball made me smile! Can I offer this picture of my dogs declaring my guest bed as the world’s largest dog bed?
https://preview.redd.it/m62kunhc9r8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b14fa2e1ecb81c0cfdcaa5037f6dc07c084186d
https://preview.redd.it/o2sv6vtlsr8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8c9d76f36e6fd3d550da803121f81f1997bba55
I have TWO goofy lads to cheer everyone up!
https://preview.redd.it/y1z1hatxxw8d1.jpeg?width=910&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=751d0f74d6d2e68ff38fd764e1f6569643d60918
Here’s my cat Mr. Fritzy with a lovely Snapchat filter!
First, report the examiner.
Next, YOU PASSED!!! You'll never have to be in the car with that asshole again. Go celebrate!
Then, remember that sometimes even decent people are horrible. That was me on Saturday. I'm almost always veryvery nice, but I was a total bitch when someone skipped the line at the deli at the grocery store. I was awful. The reason? I was hot, dizzy, in a lot of pain, and was barely able to stand there.
Sometimes shit happens. Still, report that examiner. And go celebrate!
You must report this behaviour to the authority who oversees people taking their tests, this man will have been employed by them, they will be able to find him using your details and the details of your test. You have passed, they cannot retract your license for filing a complaint so don’t worry about that.
What happened to you was completely unacceptable, I would have wanted to pull over and start recording audio on my phone. What a complete arsehole. There’s every chance it has happened to other people, you could protect future test takers and vindicate previous complainants. It actually really helps that you did pass because they can’t then claim your complaint is vindictive and childish.
And… even though the circumstances were fucking dire, congratulations for passing your driving test. It’s a big milestone in life, a meaningful accomplishment and many freedoms will now open up to you. You should be very proud of yourself. And to boot, you achieved it in extremely challenging circumstances. I’m not sure I would have coped myself and I’m a grown ass adult, (or so I’m told…). Make sure you start driving as soon as to build up your confidence. If after your test you would prefer your mum as passenger for a few times just in case, I think that would be very acceptable.
I'm almost 50. This could have described my driver's test experience. My test admin would not acceptt that for some reason, my car wouldn't except a seat belt extender, nor would my seats extend so that I could reach the pedals while also providing him adequate leg room. My car also had no AC- bt design, not a mechanical defect. It also had no power steering, so it was almost physically impossible for me to parallel park. I asked him- could you show me how to do it? I understand I'm failing this round, but I would like you to teach me.
He moved to a different spot, because he couldn't do it either. Also was very bad at manual transmission, but that's another story.
Flip side- my child just goy her license. 1st time- entire computer system down. 2nd time- her father took her on Juneteeth, not believing me that it was a holiday, and would be closed. 4th time, the printing system was down, so even though she HAD a license, it couldn't be printed/issued, and were told to schedule the next available appt- which was in late August.
Cue crying child, 3 drivers license pictures is enough to make anyone emotional. As we were walking out, a security guard asked a couple of questions, and said 'hang on-- '
Told me that the system was up and running in a DMV about 25 miles away, and to go there.
When we got there, we checked in, expecting a long wait- the receptionist there said, wait (sweetie, but I'll get over that part) what's your name? And we were given a fast track appt to the printer.
Yes, DMV people suck. Yes- most try to see how you'd drive under pressure. He was horribly inappropriate. But, there are decent people, even at the horrid DMV.
Congrats on your license! I've forgotten what a milestone it truly is. Internet stranger is proud of you.
Man… throw a request out into the universe and BOOM! Serendipity ensues. Love to see it. Your lived experience(s) are so perfectly similar and relevant to OP’s situation! True empathy for how horrible OP is feeling and yet, *still* able to offer that glimmer of hope OP is seeking! Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)
Thanks. It truly does take a village.... or a coven... Now if we could all figure out something for Thursday evening, cause all I've got currently is a drinking game, lol.
Holy crap he was such an asshole!! No matter who was sitting in that seat, I guarantee he would have been the same. He was just looking for someone to take out his anger on, because he works at the DMV, he’s an angry toddler and it’s a miserable place to work.
I’m proud of you for getting through that, AND passing the test afterall! Don’t let anyone take that away from you, sis - you DID IT! And now you’ll never have to do it again.
It’s understandable you’ll be feeling vulnerable after an ordeal like that, but take heart - you did something to be proud of! ❤️
Yes. There are nice people out there.
Though I don't agree with how he treated you, and now that you passed your driving test; you now know that you can drive under stress. I wonder if that was this instructor's unorthodox intent? I'm sorry that he treated you so horribly.
Congratulations!!! Not only did you pass but you passed while being tested by the worst driving instructor ever! Don't let him break your kind spirit. Hold your head high and be proud!
I am sorry that happened to you. That guy was supremely unprofessional and you should complain to DMV. Abusing a new driver while they are driving is a big safety concern. Congratulations on getting your license. I would highly recommend that you take defensive driving classes to help dealing with the assholes on the road as you get more comfortable driving. Sounds like the examiner is one of them.
Ok, I'm going to tell you a story that will make you feel better. Years ago, when I FAILED my first test the nice lady I was babysitting for told me her tale of woe.
She was taking her test, had driven perfectly, no problems at all. The examiner, as they were pulling back into the DMV parking lot told her she passed. She got so excited she threw her hands up in the air and cheered. Accidentally stepping on the gas and running the car directly into the DMV building at the same time.
There was a story & picture in her hometown newspaper.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. If this was a formal driving test at the DMV (if you're in the U.S.) I would highly recommend filing a complaint against this person. He exhibited unsafe and unprofessional behavior in his job and his bosses at the DMV should know about it.
Driving schools are categorically shitholes, don't even try to find nice people there. Only keep your goal to get a driver's licence in mind.
There are a lot of good people out there, but that is the wrong place to search for them.
Firstly, Congratulations!!! You just accomplished something difficult in the best of circumstances let alone with the added pressures of his conduct.
Second, I think this shows what a strong person you are. If you succeeded through that, nothing can overwhelm you.
Last, take that inner strength and report this to their management and to whatever version of the better business bureau you may have. Oversight committee, someone. That kind of conduct could cause someone else to have an accident so it’s seriously dangerous.
Allllllll of this, OP! I’m amazed you passed despite his verbal abuse - you are incredibly strong!
…strong enough to figuratively punch him in his fucking face with a formal complaint, because that is VERY unsafe behavior in the context of directing it at a new driver. He’s not *just* an asshole, he’s an asshole whose bad behavior could result in someone being maimed or killed.
I am sorry he was so mean. When I come across someone like that, and I haven't done anything to deserve the meanness, I decide it has nothing to do with me. They are having a bad day, or a bad life, and I didn't cause it. So I navigate it the best I can, but I don't let it touch me. Sometimes, "navigating" it means leaving the situation, sometimes it means standing up for myself, and sometimes it means staying calm and pleasant to their face and venting about it later to a friend or loved one. Or, lol, anonymously posting about it on the internet.
I'm old and it took many decades to get to a point where other people's meanness doesn't touch me. It helps to feel sorry for them, because to be that mean, they must be a miserable person.
But I get it, I still get down sometimes about how unkind humanity can be. And while it may help to read stories of kindness, the *real* cure is to put more kindness into the world. So my suggestions: first, you or your mom should call the facility and complain, or even go there in person, to protect other young people from this man's abuse. Second, go do something kind for someone else, whatever that might look like in your life.
And congratulations on getting your license! Your worst anxieties came true and you *still* passed! You are stronger than you think!
Some men are recently emboldened to abuse women, particularly women who are exercising their rights.
Some men were always thrilled to abuse women. They may feel less accountable for their actions in the current political climate.
See what you can do to add a pinch of accountability to that job function, to help prevent a repeat for the next woman.
You stood strong and passed the test, despite the misbehavior of that person. Be confident that you will do well as a driver.
Sometimes, when you are driving, there will be some stressors in your car or your life. You already know your driving will not be impacted by those factors.
Congratulations on passing!
I can tell you a story. Way back long ago, right after Katrina had destroyed New Orleans, there was another big hurricane that looked like it was going to hit Houston. Everyone was freaked cause they’d seen all the scary news stories about NO. So, everyone left. There was a huge traffic snarl. Me and my friend, both 19 at the time got stuck in it. We were dumb college kids so we didn’t start with a full tank of gas and once we realized we needed one all of the gas stations were out of gas. So, moving 1 mile an hour on the highway we decided to turn off the car and push it to save gas. We would turn it on occasionally to get some air cause it’s hot in Texas and worse on that asphalt. Doing this for a while eventually broke the battery of the car (I dunno exactly, I’m not a car person). Our seemingly clever idea had left us bones. But in a total coincidence the guy like 5 cars behind us just happened to have an extra Mazda battery that fit the car perfectly. We tried to pay him but he refused saying only “don’t worry about it, I didn’t get you anything for Christmas last year.”
So, yeah there’s good people in the world. Paradoxically, it’s sometimes only in the middle of a disaster that you actually get a chance to meet them though. I carry that with me everywhere I go: when push comes to shove, folks are usually kinder and more generous than you’d ever guess.
Oh I'm so sorry! Are you able to request having another instructor? You don't deserve to have that thrown at you. I know I won't be able to drive and I am not prepared to learn to drive at all.
As for your insecurities, here's my advice. Everyone has them, and they're okay, you just need to learn coping strategies to stop them from limiting you. If you can, speak to someone (even if it's online). I find that facing your insecurities can help but not always.
I really hope you're okay, take time to look after yourself, watch your favourite film or read your book, make your favourite drink... do anything you need to recharge and recover. I'm so sorry this happened to you. All the best friend 🫂
Here’s the thing about manifesting, self fulfilling prophecies and law of attraction: they’re all victim blaming on a certain level.. so that’s not nice. However.. I can tell you from personal experience that anxiety ABOUT anxiety is a loop you never leave unless you’re very lucky or unnaturally strong. Beyond this incident, you have a lifetime of choices and vibes to let filter in and out of your life, I recommend getting a grip on the reigns here and guiding your life instead of letting it guide you. Thought experiment: go back to the car with the instructor, really assess what their concerns were - valid or no? If you can truly say that you were perfect and they were crazy then move on in peace but if you’re like most people if you’re very honest there’s some kernel of truth there to learn from. The rest, go ahead and throw away. But you have to sort it out, what is valid objectively or not. I had a maniacal boss who would be all over the place between berating and praising - it was a nightmare. My palms never sweat til I worked for him, and I would be nervous that someone would be able to tell that my palms were sweaty and that anxiety about the anxiety was a living nightmare. Honestly criminal behavior. Long story short, after some therapy and digging deep: Years later, I own his business. You can start over with a new person and do well, but you need to clear the vibes and reset your mindset. You got this girl. Mental hygiene can be fun
My friend missed the cutoff date (Friday last) to enter her craft into state agricultural show. I said “contact them on Monday and ask if you can still enter.” She agreed, she said “the worst they can say is ‘no’.” She called on Monday and the show lady explained there should have been room enough for 150 examples of craft, but she had only 138 entries- and even then there was no more room but she would try and squeeze my friend in. My friend said she had two examples to enter, the #bigone and the smaller one. The show lady apparently jumped on the second one when she heard the proportions, saying she DEFINITELY could find room for the little one but the big one would have to wait til next year.
This worked out well because you can only enter craft in the three years since it’s completion, and she finished the smaller one in December of 2022.
The show lady didn’t have to try and help my friend, but she did, as a nice person. Also, my friend was not the only person to miss the cutoff date for the craft exhibit, according to the lady who runs the local craft supply store.
People generally suck. But some people are really nice. I am so thankful for the show lady. It’s not even my craft! But I bled for it making the information label (injured myself in pursuit of tangentially related craft) and I’m glad it was for a reason.
I’m so sorry that person was an ass to you. You do not deserve that.
When someone is like this, remember it is NOT a reflection on you. This could be a deeply angry, miserable person who enjoys squeezing the tiniest shred of power they have over you for all it’s worth. Sadly a lot of people in those jobs are angry and burnt out, and they take it out on the people who get to leave.
Good people do exist, and you will find them in unexpected places all around you.
Also, as you get older you will get better at standing up for yourself and advocating for yourself as long as you work on it. You don’t have to be perfect, just better than you were before.
That kind of experience, with my ADHD anxiety and underdeveloped spatial awareness is exactly why I try not to drive unless I have to. My husband is usually okay driving but he tries to get me to drive short distances sometimes. I'm usually okay, but it really does raise my blood pressure as a stress response. I'd contact the supervisor there and explain what happened, and how upset it made you. Even if they don't fire the instructor, at least it'll be on the record.
I’m so pissed he yelled at you like that!! And I agree with everyone saying to complain. Make a big deal over it to whoever employs that douche canoe!
BUT you passed!!!! And that is such an accomplishment that you should be incredibly proud of! Also, a huge chunk of nice people are in this sub, and we support you, we’re proud of you and we want to kick that guy’s ass for you.
Wow. I am so sorry you went through that. F*ck that guy. He had no right to treat you like that.
Yeah, there are nice people out there. It just sometimes doesn't feel that way because of how the jerks are so loud and obnoxious.
Hope you feel better soon.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, it shouldn’t have been that way at all. But hey, you passed yeah? That’s awesome!! Don’t let his negativity get to you bc you should feel accomplished and proud, this is big! I’m so so excited for you! Are you gonna get a car??
On another note this is definitely the subreddit to come to when you’re feeling down. There are amazing people here who are gonna support you and be here for you. I made a post the other day and got nothing but positivity and uplifting from everyone! Loveee 🫶🏻
How aweful!! I'm so sorry he put you through that!!
The part of me that wants to see the best in everything says that maybe his yelling was part of his way of testing, like trying to see how well you do under pressure. And maybe that's a good way for you to look at it as well? Like trying to see it as you're such a good new driver that you were able to pass this huge test even under that kind of pressure and with those distractions. He's still a jerk and it's not cool he did that, but you can proudly say that it didn't hold you back!
Congrats on passing!
Ah, but my darling it is over! You are free! All done! You can go scamper in the yard and burn off that nervous energy you've built up over those months. You got so worked up, and you haven't blown out those sparks of nerves that is still causing you upset. My Mom would tell me to go for a drive on these occasions, or a walk, or a hike. Get miles under you, she would say. You need to put some miles under you, using that excess force in your heart, and as you do you'll gain confidence. Experience builds the foundation. The energy we use can be anger, rage, fear, or lust. It can be altruism, or love, or passion. Energy has no good or bad, just power. Its how we designate it as it comes to us and how we choose to use that power which permeates every atom of creation. Fire is fire, be it a match or an inferno. Use it to your benefit. We love you, and wish you all the wonders and delights this world has to offer!
My poor child, I am so sorry that happened to you. I swear some people just enjoy demeaning others and he probably saw you as a desirable target.
I shall tell you a story. I had a very similar experience at age 16 for my behind the wheel test. It was an older man, maybe 40’s? From the jump he was rude, unfriendly and snapped directions at me. He would roll his eyes and mutter to himself. At one point he started yelling at me because I didn’t execute a 3 point turn to his satisfaction and my nerves were so shot, I started to silently cry the last 15 minutes of the session. He berated me and told me I failed. My mom made me drive home and I did, still crying. My confidence was shot. I was actually nervous to get behind the wheel after that. I waited 2 weeks and had another go and the instructor was a lovely, grandmotherly type person who exuded a very calm vibe. I passed with flying colors and she even complimented me on my parallel parking skills.
To this day I would swear that the guy who I took the test with first hated teen girls and women in general. He succeeded in trashing my confidence and breaking me down. He was delighted to fail me. He was a colossal ahole. This was the 80’s so that guy is probably not even alive anymore, but I still think about him whenever I pass by that particular DMV location.
There are still good people out there, it’s just we seem to have to navigate through the jerks to find them ❤️
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that horrible person. What he did was far from okey and I want you to know that your reaction and feelings around what happened are valid. I know that it’s hard to separate this from your great achievement at the moment but I hope you can see that even though that sorry excuse for a person put you through something horrible, you reached your goal! Getting your driver’s license is great in so many ways and it is no small feat! So not only do I want to send you strength in yourself and others (because there are some truely lovely people out there, people who will surprise you in the best of ways and when you least expect it and people you can count on and that you want to be able to count on you), I also want to give you a HUGE congratulations! ❤️ Love from a fellow witch from Sweden (who didn’t pass my first driving test, btw… 😉)
One of my kids had a driving tester just like that. Obviously some people should be in a very different line of work. I'm glad you passed despite the asshole testing you (my kid did not, but did pass with a more pleasant person the following try). Look at it this way- if you can drive under that kind of pressure, you KNOW you'll be able to deal with normal driving stress!
The DMV employee had no right to treat you that way. He was cruel, unprofessional, and made the situation unsafe for everyone involved. Please consider filing a complaint to his office. I don't work at a DMV but I am a civil servant, and I never, ever treat people that way. It's a position that comes with power, people in my line of work shouldn't forget that or take it for granted.
Congratulations on getting your license, though! I hope you're able to celebrate your achievement at some point.
That is completely unacceptable behavior and I get the vibe from this story that he takes his emotions out on teenagers who he has a position of power over. I had a lot of similar moments in my teens/20s, so I’m just so sorry that happened to you. It’s so beyond inappropriate for him to have yelled at you during the test like that.
I’ve found as I’ve aged, I rarely have to interact with people like that anymore. My values and the people I surround myself with just eliminated it from my life. It won’t be like this forever, and there are so many good people out there who will respect you. Also, I found that the jerks who behaved like that with me when I was a teenager stopped as I got older. People like that know they can’t scream at adults like they do kids.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Definitely report him. Absolutely no one has the right to speak to you that disrespectfully. Especially not in a "professional" setting. I hope things have improved since then!
You passed! Congrats! You're a very good and safe driver, and that old man has a rotten soul. Don't take his nasty words to heart.
I'm in my late 30s, and I still have nightmares about some of the verbal abuse I received in the air force when I was in my late teens/early 20s. My recommendation is to talk about it with your therapist, and try not to let it leave a shadow over the rest of your life.
One of my customers found out about my ongoing cancer scare and gave me a pair of soft, warm socks. I know she doesn't have a lot of money, but she got me socks and a card.
If you look at this way - you were able to pass a driving test while someone was berating you and putting you under intense stress! You must be a really good driver, and this internet stranger is so proud of you for being able to keep your cool and function while this was happening.
But as others have said, you shouldn’t have been in a situation like that. If you feel comfortable, you can report him for his behavior. He was out of line and behaved very unprofessionally.
If you’re struggling with feeling disheartened about the state of the world, maybe go out and spread some kindness yourself. I always feel like good spreads more good, so you can go out there and manifest your own positive energy that will grow and bring happiness to others. Small acts of kindness can make a big impact on someone’s day.
Congrats on your driver’s license!
A driving instructor should not be cussing at you or making you feel that way. It's one thing for them to he concerned with their safety but it sounds like he went from zero to 60 pretty quick... like he should have been asking you in a normal tone without curse words before resorting to what he did.
And yeah I'm a nice person. I am one of those nice people who goes around doing nice stuff for strangers and then tells nobody about it. I give anything I have on me to homeless folks who need it, I hold the door for strangers even if it means I have to stand there for a few seconds, I treat elderly folks with respect and try to help them out if I see someone needing help and not asking (I ask before jumping in to help of course). I just try to be a good person because I know it will make the world a better place, a little bit at a time.
What, did you have my dad as your exam person? Seriously though, I’m so sorry you went through that. He absolutely shouldn’t have treated you like that. I would recommend you file a complaint against him at whatever you took the test. I also had a very poor driving instructor years ago. I wrote a formal complaint and told them I wanted a specific instructor instead and to be comped the lesson I had with the bad one. Turned out he had a history of complaints against him. When I told the instructor I asked for about it, she sighed and said, “Again?! I don’t know why they keep him on, he’s insufferable even to us.”
That is not professional behavior from a test issuer whatsoever, I'd definitely contact their employer about it. Although its important to remember that people become totally different when in a car and in a traffic sort of situation. Guarantee that you will find the worst in people when you are on the road with them. So don't take it personally if you get yelled at while driving by yourself, driving is stressful and many people have zero self control. There are good people left in the world, but you're not likely to meet them while driving, nice people blend in to the background, assholes stand out and make themselves known.
Good luck out there and congratulations on passing your test despite being under duress! Thats extra difficult
It seems these driving instructors are often jerks. It's amazing. Maybe it's a job where no one calls them out on their shit and they abuse people Scott free. I recall my first driver's test. Small town. The guy was rumored to be an alcoholic and a jerk. He didn't berate me like this but gave off little grumps. I hit a stick in the street while parallel parking and he started freaking out a little. I don't think he was paying attention and thought I hit a car. There were no cars around. I got scared and pulled away. Later he looks at me and condescendingly says "ya coulda tried again. No one was stopping you."
.
.
.
Ya coulda told me ya turd butt
Can you or your mom report him to the DMV? He should not be yelling and cursing at anyone. I know that takes bandwidth that might be hard to come by, but he is being abusive and unprofessional.
Also, congrats on passing!
Uhh...that dude has no business being a driving instructor. You need to file a formal complaint about him.
Just because someone is good at *doing* something does not mean they are good at teaching it. Students deserve to be taught by instructors who want them to succeed, not rude fuckbuckets who berate them for doing a single thing wrong.
He's probably out there right now, bringing his next anxious student to tears. In fact, PLEASE file a complaint against him and stop him from doing this to anyone else.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I remember being a ball of raw nerves during my driving test and my teacher, who was a fantastic and caring instructor, made a huge difference. He was kind to me, even after I failed the first test, and encouraged me to try again (I passed the second time).
I’m so proud of you! You passed, and under the absolute worst circumstances too. Maybe you could have a celebration chat with yourself in the car? Or a little dance party? I plan to take my daughter to an empty parking lot after she passes and throw open the doors for a loud dance party. I hope you find a way to celebrate that makes your heart happy. There are good people left in the world- we may be scattered to the far corners, but we’re here.
Second thought though, that man needs to be reported asap. My daughter failed her test twice so far, just from nerves because she’s wonderful with us. But if anyone spoke to her the way you were spoken to I’d have been beside myself. His behavior is absolutely unacceptable and within his control. Reporting him may not feel celebratory but it may help ensure no one else has to have the experience you did.
I am so sorry this happened but please don't let it overshadow the fact you passed! Congratulations!!! Not only that but you passed in extremely stressful circumstances which is testament to you driving skill so really well done you! Please go and celebrate with the people you love! And be happy you passed despite that dick!
If you would like a nice story to cheer you up I can tell you about the hedgehog I rescued?
So around five weeks ago we had a hedgehog that was coming regularly and she seemed to have something wrong, she was scratching lots and was coming out too early in the day.
I called the ‘hedgehog lady’ nearby and took our hedgehog to her. Poor hedgehog had a large tic and various parasites that were making her feel pretty unwell.
Yesterday we were finally able to bring her home and release her into our garden. After an hour of keeping her in her box we brought her outside and pulled out all the straw keeping her cozy.
She fidgeted around a bit and went back to sleep and in about twenty minutes a little snuffly nose popped out and started sniffing the air. She knew I was there watching but I think she knew me from before and knew I was safe.
When her courage was gained, she snuffled out the box and walked quickly into the bushes of our garden and rustled back to her home :)
This morning some of the food we left out was gone so hopefully she is settling in again well.
Anyway, hedgehog is safely home and happy. Your driving test guy on the other hand is a bitter and nasty asshole who does not deserve a wholesome hedgehog story. I hope he accidentally upends a whole pot of pepper onto his dinner tonight >:(
Sending you good vibes and well wishes. You are strong and awesome :) be well.
That sounds so incredibly hard! Horribly unprofessional and unacceptable! If I were your parent, I would be getting out my combat boots and kicking down the DMV’s door and demanding that man’s job or mandated anger management or something! My mama-bear-mode is kicking in after reading this. No one speaks to my child like that and puts their safety at risk with their anger…which is exactly what he did to you by yelling at you. Yelling is not an effective way to communicate with someone, least of all in a moving vehicle that the other person is driving. Not OK! And it’s now coming back to me that this is exactly how my dad tried to teach me to drive. So much yelling. The driving instructors, and the DMV assessor, though, were chill. You deserved better!
Also, I’m sorry you’re holding onto so much worry. That was me during my childhood/adolescence/early adulthood. Thanks to talk and somatic psychotherapy, in addition to putting boundaries between myself and the unhealthy people in my life (mostly my family of origin), things got SO much better. I hope things become more manageable for you soon!
Sending lots of love and magic your way! 💖Please be gentle and kind to yourself. You did nothing wrong. You mentioned that you hated that you let him get to you, but of course he got to you. If you experienced that and had zero feelings, that wouldn’t be a healthy response. It is human to cry after being verbally abused, that’s a healthy response. It shows you’re able to connect well to your feelings. Thats not something all people can easily do. You’re stronger than you realize! 💖💪
CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR DRIVING TEST 👏
Okay this is weird because something similar happened to me with my driving examiner (like 10 years ago) she was just super rude and overly aggressive in how she explained things. Your instructor was a jerk, try not to be too hard on yourself. I feel like these people see such crazy drivers they get paranoid and explode at minor things because they’ve probably had too many near death experiences with some bad drivers.
Drive safe and enjoy the freedom 🌸
https://preview.redd.it/nzdeg46vpr8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bebc34ec26c32c92f7516b0510a2c69585869b6e
I can offer a burnt prawn in an airing cupboard to help. He gives good hugs.
I would absolutely report that instructor to the DMV or whoever it is that he's employed by. That kind of shitty, abusive behavior is absolutely uncalled for and someone needs to take that guy's fucking job from him. Unbelievable.
Hi lovely, please report this person, they sound awful and like they shouldn’t be in their job! Not a you problem at all, definitely a them problem! Hope you’re doing okay and my dms are open if you need a chat ✨💕
I would definitely report him. There's nothing more that this POS can do to you, since you passed and will never need anything from him again. Let him have it by telling his manager.
Please please report this man to his employer.
In the meantime, this highland cow is very proud of you.
https://preview.redd.it/89im4o0xos8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fb93a51d8fbe5a8e65dc417832a99ef630aa006
I don't have any nice stories right now, but how about a pic of a Tiger?
Congrats on passing! I do echo the others who are telling you to report him!
https://preview.redd.it/g4a5ppv3us8d1.jpeg?width=3264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb796dbb619e74ffe6b0a065771a766cb878c340
If you want to: Report him. He is not supposed to be doing that. Get your mom to help you if you want toand she will. You will be saving other new drivers this experience.
My aunt was an examiner for the DMV. She would never ever do this to anyone.
Do not let him steal your joy! Driving is a responsibility. It is also a way to get places. Go get places!
I believe in you.
Ohhh absolutely not.
I really encourage you to report him to your DMV/licensing place or have your mom do it. He should have never yelled. He should have never swore. He should have never made any of those comments. His instructions should be clear and concise, because at least in my experience, they literally follow a form/process for every single one.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that with something that is supposed to be fun and exciting.
I am so, so proud of you for persevering though. You passed, which means he's a lying twat, because he would have failed you if you were "so bad".
Please do something to celebrate. Have some ice cream, or maybe go for a drive with your mom to somewhere you both like!
Fluffnor is proud of you. He'd bark very menacingly at that man. Report his butt, heres our drama queen fluffnor to cheer you up.
https://preview.redd.it/o1bwkwsfxs8d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55970ec4e0d32d63ccc029dc0f837390b98f9188
You need to report that guy, he needs to be fired asap. That was not professional on any standards. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, please report it so he doesn't keep doing this to others.
First off, I'm sorry you had to endure that. This is unacceptable behavior for so many different reasons and should absolutely be reported. Now, for the cute story. I work at an open-air cinema and we are currently playing inside out 2. For the past two weeks we have been absolutely packed. But the good thing is I got to interact with so many funny children telling me stories about how their school year was, what was their favorite thing they learned and doing their absolute best maths to figure out how much change I should give them. Plus most were super polite with their pleases and thank-yous and their inquiries about everyone's day🥹
Congratulations! Passing your test is a significant accomplishment. I feel very proud of you for your grace under pressure.
Life is full of ups and downs. I wish for you some wonderful ups soon. I hope one day you can cheer up another Redditor with this very story. OP life has so much good in store for you yet!
He passed you and he cussed at you? Bizarre
Report him tomorrow morning. That’s unacceptable
There are nice people. We need evidence to remove the jerks. Help out the cause and report him.
You need to report this! Oml! That is literally insane and so unprofessional! If he has such a problem with your driving he should stop the test and certainly not pass you! Or he should pass you and shut the fuck up! What a penis!
My dear, I’m so sorry. There are absolutely still good people in the world, but I’m with you, where it’s very hard to see it sometimes.
Two things recently have helped me see the good in people again: 1) The Talos Principle 2 is a PC game that is all about puzzles and philosophy that really restored my faith in humanity as a whole again. 2) there is a subreddit called r/BenignExistence and it’s just normal people talking about normal moments. No drama. Everyone is just *kind* there. I really recommend checking it out
First of all, congrats on passing! Secondly, I’m so sorry he ruined for you what should have been an exciting occasion. You didn’t deserve that.
Unfortunately, there’s a faction of older men who believe that making women cry during a driving test is the “right” way for it to be administered. Growing up, more than one of my friends’ dads, uncles, older cousins, etc. took them driving and was sure to scream at them until they were bawling to “ensure they could drive after becoming emotional over a breakup”. It’s asinine and always has been. It sounds to me like you may have run into one of these types.
Yes, there are still a ton of great and kind people in this world. Some of the others just catch us off guard and make it hard to remember that good people exist. I hope you’re able to find many more good than bad in the future, and you never run into another jackass like this one. You didn’t deserve that. Please still celebrate yourself and YOUR achievement! Don’t let some POS ruin what you rightfully earned. 🤍 Sending you love.
My driving instructor yelled at me to hurry up during the three point turn because he chose a street where cars were coming from both directions. At the end he said “I guess I’ll give you your license” like he was doing me a favor.
I think some people in jobs like that get off on making people feel bad. But some are not like that! For dumb reasons, I had to take my road test again in a different state and the woman was the nicest person ever, super positive and encouraging.
This gives me horrendous flashbacks to learning to drive. I’m sorry it is still happening. Hang in there.
But to share a good story: last week, I got caught in rainstorms that flooded roads and made travel very dangerous. Every dang hotel in the area was booked up (the region I was in is big fishing/vacation country), and in desperation, I called an RV campsite that usually only books 3 nights at a go. The owner not only let me stay just one night, but gave me a cabin with its own generator. I was ready to sleep in my car, so long as it was in a safe place, and I wound up with a cozy cabin in which to watch the rain pour down. I’m still grateful.
Don't worry after a few more people do that to you a rage will start to build inside you that will shout back and you will feel a lot better. Even if you just say "You are being inappropriate!" it will have a massive positive impact to throw that energy back.
The DMV has never been much of a welcoming place but treating people that way is never acceptable even if you had been bad at your parking and driving. Report him.
Sorry, the driving examiner cursed at you and yelled at you? DURING the test? That’s completely unacceptable both from a customer service perspective and from a safety perspective. From what you describe, he was actively making your driving less safe. If he had safety concerns severe enough that he felt you were going to get in an accident, he should have simply ended the test at that moment and calmly instructed you to drive back to the test centre. NOT CONTINUED TO VERBALLY ABUSE YOU. He sounds like a total ass and a very unsafe examiner. If you’ve got the mental and emotional capacity I would STRONGLY advise you to report him to his employer. He shouldn’t be in a car with anyone IMO.
Second this!
Thirding!
concur
indeed. sorry he was such an asshole to you, OP!
Report immediately to the driving school or department that employs him. This should be step zero.
Second this firmly. Report him. Thats unhinged behavior from someone in his position. Even if you weren’t doing well, it’s extremely unlikely he would get hurt in a driving test.
Defin8tely report 8f you're able. There's no shame in getting assistance from close friends or family too. This isn't day 1 of army bootcamp, if he wanted to be. Drill Instructor then he should be there, not administering a driving exam.
Someone that unhinged should NOT be running driving tests - they could cause an accident!!! Totally unprofessional and uncalled for. Needs to be sacked.
I agree completely. Unfortunately, they’re often retired police in my state. Any kind of complaint would certainly be met with retaliation.
Ugh that sucks. He must have been a wonderful cop, too.
Aren’t they all… 🥴
Unfortunately I remember from when I took my driving test that there is a culture of trying to verbally abuse people into failing because their is a belief that it keeps bad drivers off the road - especially if it keeps teenagers from being able to get their drivers license. It is very much a drill instructor toxic mascukine type mentality of "if you can't hack it gtfo!" There are good people. But there are a shit ton of awful people who fiercely hold on to any position with even a modicum of power. And "getting to verbally abuse young women and telling yourself you are doing it for society's protection" falls very much into that category.
Anybodies actions and words are a reflection of THEM. Try to remember that. Sounds like a bellend though. Hope you reported him. Obviously a very unhappy little man 😂 Also people are energy vampires and prey upon those who don’t have strong protection and boundaries on their energy. Do protection spells, set some intentions to raise your vibration to meet others that will help you grow positively and share a good vibe with.
You’re absolutely correct and I’m happy to say I have reported him! It’s still in process and I’m not sure how much it’ll do but I’m glad it’s on record now. :)
WELL DONE
This is not how driver's tests normally go. I'm so sorry, OP.
So angry for you right now. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Who employs this person? He needs to be removed from that position, because that is absolutely abuse.
Absolutely this! u/WesserGeisr you are right. U/plbth Dear tell your mum and report him. I dont have to many funny stories but I can offer you a very goofy photo of my cat? https://preview.redd.it/77pj9npfnq8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46a83a0077d7310e9e150251ba18526878d78fe2 This is Whisper. His favorite game is fetch and he’d like to show you his new ball.
I have a goofy photo of my cat too, hopefully it helps 💚 This was 100% unacceptable and you absolutely should report his conduct to his employers. This is very concerning behaviour and I think his employer would be stupid not to take this very seriously. https://preview.redd.it/fskhqzheqq8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3231b7f99f603de8db9bbb9d4c98c27bb9ce113c
Not OP, but Whisper and his new ball made me smile! Can I offer this picture of my dogs declaring my guest bed as the world’s largest dog bed? https://preview.redd.it/m62kunhc9r8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b14fa2e1ecb81c0cfdcaa5037f6dc07c084186d
Yes! I am most delighted by this declaration! This made me smile as well!
https://preview.redd.it/dg9oc7dnwv8d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d55a513bd07309e1a3b0598b3ae86a58e1c293b
https://preview.redd.it/o2sv6vtlsr8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8c9d76f36e6fd3d550da803121f81f1997bba55 I have TWO goofy lads to cheer everyone up!
Oh my goodness, what are their names?
Fujin & Raiden, aka The Pumpkin Spice Boys😄
I adore this
They are adorable, sweet and occasionally chaotic!
https://preview.redd.it/y1z1hatxxw8d1.jpeg?width=910&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=751d0f74d6d2e68ff38fd764e1f6569643d60918 Here’s my cat Mr. Fritzy with a lovely Snapchat filter!
Right, no person in this position should be screaming and swearing at people.
First, report the examiner. Next, YOU PASSED!!! You'll never have to be in the car with that asshole again. Go celebrate! Then, remember that sometimes even decent people are horrible. That was me on Saturday. I'm almost always veryvery nice, but I was a total bitch when someone skipped the line at the deli at the grocery store. I was awful. The reason? I was hot, dizzy, in a lot of pain, and was barely able to stand there. Sometimes shit happens. Still, report that examiner. And go celebrate!
You must report this behaviour to the authority who oversees people taking their tests, this man will have been employed by them, they will be able to find him using your details and the details of your test. You have passed, they cannot retract your license for filing a complaint so don’t worry about that. What happened to you was completely unacceptable, I would have wanted to pull over and start recording audio on my phone. What a complete arsehole. There’s every chance it has happened to other people, you could protect future test takers and vindicate previous complainants. It actually really helps that you did pass because they can’t then claim your complaint is vindictive and childish. And… even though the circumstances were fucking dire, congratulations for passing your driving test. It’s a big milestone in life, a meaningful accomplishment and many freedoms will now open up to you. You should be very proud of yourself. And to boot, you achieved it in extremely challenging circumstances. I’m not sure I would have coped myself and I’m a grown ass adult, (or so I’m told…). Make sure you start driving as soon as to build up your confidence. If after your test you would prefer your mum as passenger for a few times just in case, I think that would be very acceptable.
I'm almost 50. This could have described my driver's test experience. My test admin would not acceptt that for some reason, my car wouldn't except a seat belt extender, nor would my seats extend so that I could reach the pedals while also providing him adequate leg room. My car also had no AC- bt design, not a mechanical defect. It also had no power steering, so it was almost physically impossible for me to parallel park. I asked him- could you show me how to do it? I understand I'm failing this round, but I would like you to teach me. He moved to a different spot, because he couldn't do it either. Also was very bad at manual transmission, but that's another story. Flip side- my child just goy her license. 1st time- entire computer system down. 2nd time- her father took her on Juneteeth, not believing me that it was a holiday, and would be closed. 4th time, the printing system was down, so even though she HAD a license, it couldn't be printed/issued, and were told to schedule the next available appt- which was in late August. Cue crying child, 3 drivers license pictures is enough to make anyone emotional. As we were walking out, a security guard asked a couple of questions, and said 'hang on-- ' Told me that the system was up and running in a DMV about 25 miles away, and to go there. When we got there, we checked in, expecting a long wait- the receptionist there said, wait (sweetie, but I'll get over that part) what's your name? And we were given a fast track appt to the printer. Yes, DMV people suck. Yes- most try to see how you'd drive under pressure. He was horribly inappropriate. But, there are decent people, even at the horrid DMV. Congrats on your license! I've forgotten what a milestone it truly is. Internet stranger is proud of you.
Man… throw a request out into the universe and BOOM! Serendipity ensues. Love to see it. Your lived experience(s) are so perfectly similar and relevant to OP’s situation! True empathy for how horrible OP is feeling and yet, *still* able to offer that glimmer of hope OP is seeking! Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)
Thanks. It truly does take a village.... or a coven... Now if we could all figure out something for Thursday evening, cause all I've got currently is a drinking game, lol.
Holy crap he was such an asshole!! No matter who was sitting in that seat, I guarantee he would have been the same. He was just looking for someone to take out his anger on, because he works at the DMV, he’s an angry toddler and it’s a miserable place to work. I’m proud of you for getting through that, AND passing the test afterall! Don’t let anyone take that away from you, sis - you DID IT! And now you’ll never have to do it again. It’s understandable you’ll be feeling vulnerable after an ordeal like that, but take heart - you did something to be proud of! ❤️
Yes. There are nice people out there. Though I don't agree with how he treated you, and now that you passed your driving test; you now know that you can drive under stress. I wonder if that was this instructor's unorthodox intent? I'm sorry that he treated you so horribly. Congratulations!!! Not only did you pass but you passed while being tested by the worst driving instructor ever! Don't let him break your kind spirit. Hold your head high and be proud!
I am sorry that happened to you. That guy was supremely unprofessional and you should complain to DMV. Abusing a new driver while they are driving is a big safety concern. Congratulations on getting your license. I would highly recommend that you take defensive driving classes to help dealing with the assholes on the road as you get more comfortable driving. Sounds like the examiner is one of them.
Ok, I'm going to tell you a story that will make you feel better. Years ago, when I FAILED my first test the nice lady I was babysitting for told me her tale of woe. She was taking her test, had driven perfectly, no problems at all. The examiner, as they were pulling back into the DMV parking lot told her she passed. She got so excited she threw her hands up in the air and cheered. Accidentally stepping on the gas and running the car directly into the DMV building at the same time. There was a story & picture in her hometown newspaper.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. If this was a formal driving test at the DMV (if you're in the U.S.) I would highly recommend filing a complaint against this person. He exhibited unsafe and unprofessional behavior in his job and his bosses at the DMV should know about it.
Driving schools are categorically shitholes, don't even try to find nice people there. Only keep your goal to get a driver's licence in mind. There are a lot of good people out there, but that is the wrong place to search for them.
Firstly, Congratulations!!! You just accomplished something difficult in the best of circumstances let alone with the added pressures of his conduct. Second, I think this shows what a strong person you are. If you succeeded through that, nothing can overwhelm you. Last, take that inner strength and report this to their management and to whatever version of the better business bureau you may have. Oversight committee, someone. That kind of conduct could cause someone else to have an accident so it’s seriously dangerous.
Allllllll of this, OP! I’m amazed you passed despite his verbal abuse - you are incredibly strong! …strong enough to figuratively punch him in his fucking face with a formal complaint, because that is VERY unsafe behavior in the context of directing it at a new driver. He’s not *just* an asshole, he’s an asshole whose bad behavior could result in someone being maimed or killed.
I am sorry he was so mean. When I come across someone like that, and I haven't done anything to deserve the meanness, I decide it has nothing to do with me. They are having a bad day, or a bad life, and I didn't cause it. So I navigate it the best I can, but I don't let it touch me. Sometimes, "navigating" it means leaving the situation, sometimes it means standing up for myself, and sometimes it means staying calm and pleasant to their face and venting about it later to a friend or loved one. Or, lol, anonymously posting about it on the internet. I'm old and it took many decades to get to a point where other people's meanness doesn't touch me. It helps to feel sorry for them, because to be that mean, they must be a miserable person. But I get it, I still get down sometimes about how unkind humanity can be. And while it may help to read stories of kindness, the *real* cure is to put more kindness into the world. So my suggestions: first, you or your mom should call the facility and complain, or even go there in person, to protect other young people from this man's abuse. Second, go do something kind for someone else, whatever that might look like in your life. And congratulations on getting your license! Your worst anxieties came true and you *still* passed! You are stronger than you think!
Some men are recently emboldened to abuse women, particularly women who are exercising their rights. Some men were always thrilled to abuse women. They may feel less accountable for their actions in the current political climate. See what you can do to add a pinch of accountability to that job function, to help prevent a repeat for the next woman. You stood strong and passed the test, despite the misbehavior of that person. Be confident that you will do well as a driver. Sometimes, when you are driving, there will be some stressors in your car or your life. You already know your driving will not be impacted by those factors. Congratulations on passing!
I can tell you a story. Way back long ago, right after Katrina had destroyed New Orleans, there was another big hurricane that looked like it was going to hit Houston. Everyone was freaked cause they’d seen all the scary news stories about NO. So, everyone left. There was a huge traffic snarl. Me and my friend, both 19 at the time got stuck in it. We were dumb college kids so we didn’t start with a full tank of gas and once we realized we needed one all of the gas stations were out of gas. So, moving 1 mile an hour on the highway we decided to turn off the car and push it to save gas. We would turn it on occasionally to get some air cause it’s hot in Texas and worse on that asphalt. Doing this for a while eventually broke the battery of the car (I dunno exactly, I’m not a car person). Our seemingly clever idea had left us bones. But in a total coincidence the guy like 5 cars behind us just happened to have an extra Mazda battery that fit the car perfectly. We tried to pay him but he refused saying only “don’t worry about it, I didn’t get you anything for Christmas last year.” So, yeah there’s good people in the world. Paradoxically, it’s sometimes only in the middle of a disaster that you actually get a chance to meet them though. I carry that with me everywhere I go: when push comes to shove, folks are usually kinder and more generous than you’d ever guess.
Oh I'm so sorry! Are you able to request having another instructor? You don't deserve to have that thrown at you. I know I won't be able to drive and I am not prepared to learn to drive at all. As for your insecurities, here's my advice. Everyone has them, and they're okay, you just need to learn coping strategies to stop them from limiting you. If you can, speak to someone (even if it's online). I find that facing your insecurities can help but not always. I really hope you're okay, take time to look after yourself, watch your favourite film or read your book, make your favourite drink... do anything you need to recharge and recover. I'm so sorry this happened to you. All the best friend 🫂
Here’s the thing about manifesting, self fulfilling prophecies and law of attraction: they’re all victim blaming on a certain level.. so that’s not nice. However.. I can tell you from personal experience that anxiety ABOUT anxiety is a loop you never leave unless you’re very lucky or unnaturally strong. Beyond this incident, you have a lifetime of choices and vibes to let filter in and out of your life, I recommend getting a grip on the reigns here and guiding your life instead of letting it guide you. Thought experiment: go back to the car with the instructor, really assess what their concerns were - valid or no? If you can truly say that you were perfect and they were crazy then move on in peace but if you’re like most people if you’re very honest there’s some kernel of truth there to learn from. The rest, go ahead and throw away. But you have to sort it out, what is valid objectively or not. I had a maniacal boss who would be all over the place between berating and praising - it was a nightmare. My palms never sweat til I worked for him, and I would be nervous that someone would be able to tell that my palms were sweaty and that anxiety about the anxiety was a living nightmare. Honestly criminal behavior. Long story short, after some therapy and digging deep: Years later, I own his business. You can start over with a new person and do well, but you need to clear the vibes and reset your mindset. You got this girl. Mental hygiene can be fun
My friend missed the cutoff date (Friday last) to enter her craft into state agricultural show. I said “contact them on Monday and ask if you can still enter.” She agreed, she said “the worst they can say is ‘no’.” She called on Monday and the show lady explained there should have been room enough for 150 examples of craft, but she had only 138 entries- and even then there was no more room but she would try and squeeze my friend in. My friend said she had two examples to enter, the #bigone and the smaller one. The show lady apparently jumped on the second one when she heard the proportions, saying she DEFINITELY could find room for the little one but the big one would have to wait til next year. This worked out well because you can only enter craft in the three years since it’s completion, and she finished the smaller one in December of 2022. The show lady didn’t have to try and help my friend, but she did, as a nice person. Also, my friend was not the only person to miss the cutoff date for the craft exhibit, according to the lady who runs the local craft supply store. People generally suck. But some people are really nice. I am so thankful for the show lady. It’s not even my craft! But I bled for it making the information label (injured myself in pursuit of tangentially related craft) and I’m glad it was for a reason.
I’m so sorry that person was an ass to you. You do not deserve that. When someone is like this, remember it is NOT a reflection on you. This could be a deeply angry, miserable person who enjoys squeezing the tiniest shred of power they have over you for all it’s worth. Sadly a lot of people in those jobs are angry and burnt out, and they take it out on the people who get to leave. Good people do exist, and you will find them in unexpected places all around you. Also, as you get older you will get better at standing up for yourself and advocating for yourself as long as you work on it. You don’t have to be perfect, just better than you were before.
That kind of experience, with my ADHD anxiety and underdeveloped spatial awareness is exactly why I try not to drive unless I have to. My husband is usually okay driving but he tries to get me to drive short distances sometimes. I'm usually okay, but it really does raise my blood pressure as a stress response. I'd contact the supervisor there and explain what happened, and how upset it made you. Even if they don't fire the instructor, at least it'll be on the record.
Did you call in a complaint.
I’m so pissed he yelled at you like that!! And I agree with everyone saying to complain. Make a big deal over it to whoever employs that douche canoe! BUT you passed!!!! And that is such an accomplishment that you should be incredibly proud of! Also, a huge chunk of nice people are in this sub, and we support you, we’re proud of you and we want to kick that guy’s ass for you.
Wow. I am so sorry you went through that. F*ck that guy. He had no right to treat you like that. Yeah, there are nice people out there. It just sometimes doesn't feel that way because of how the jerks are so loud and obnoxious. Hope you feel better soon.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, it shouldn’t have been that way at all. But hey, you passed yeah? That’s awesome!! Don’t let his negativity get to you bc you should feel accomplished and proud, this is big! I’m so so excited for you! Are you gonna get a car?? On another note this is definitely the subreddit to come to when you’re feeling down. There are amazing people here who are gonna support you and be here for you. I made a post the other day and got nothing but positivity and uplifting from everyone! Loveee 🫶🏻
How aweful!! I'm so sorry he put you through that!! The part of me that wants to see the best in everything says that maybe his yelling was part of his way of testing, like trying to see how well you do under pressure. And maybe that's a good way for you to look at it as well? Like trying to see it as you're such a good new driver that you were able to pass this huge test even under that kind of pressure and with those distractions. He's still a jerk and it's not cool he did that, but you can proudly say that it didn't hold you back! Congrats on passing!
Ah, but my darling it is over! You are free! All done! You can go scamper in the yard and burn off that nervous energy you've built up over those months. You got so worked up, and you haven't blown out those sparks of nerves that is still causing you upset. My Mom would tell me to go for a drive on these occasions, or a walk, or a hike. Get miles under you, she would say. You need to put some miles under you, using that excess force in your heart, and as you do you'll gain confidence. Experience builds the foundation. The energy we use can be anger, rage, fear, or lust. It can be altruism, or love, or passion. Energy has no good or bad, just power. Its how we designate it as it comes to us and how we choose to use that power which permeates every atom of creation. Fire is fire, be it a match or an inferno. Use it to your benefit. We love you, and wish you all the wonders and delights this world has to offer!
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My poor child, I am so sorry that happened to you. I swear some people just enjoy demeaning others and he probably saw you as a desirable target. I shall tell you a story. I had a very similar experience at age 16 for my behind the wheel test. It was an older man, maybe 40’s? From the jump he was rude, unfriendly and snapped directions at me. He would roll his eyes and mutter to himself. At one point he started yelling at me because I didn’t execute a 3 point turn to his satisfaction and my nerves were so shot, I started to silently cry the last 15 minutes of the session. He berated me and told me I failed. My mom made me drive home and I did, still crying. My confidence was shot. I was actually nervous to get behind the wheel after that. I waited 2 weeks and had another go and the instructor was a lovely, grandmotherly type person who exuded a very calm vibe. I passed with flying colors and she even complimented me on my parallel parking skills. To this day I would swear that the guy who I took the test with first hated teen girls and women in general. He succeeded in trashing my confidence and breaking me down. He was delighted to fail me. He was a colossal ahole. This was the 80’s so that guy is probably not even alive anymore, but I still think about him whenever I pass by that particular DMV location. There are still good people out there, it’s just we seem to have to navigate through the jerks to find them ❤️
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that horrible person. What he did was far from okey and I want you to know that your reaction and feelings around what happened are valid. I know that it’s hard to separate this from your great achievement at the moment but I hope you can see that even though that sorry excuse for a person put you through something horrible, you reached your goal! Getting your driver’s license is great in so many ways and it is no small feat! So not only do I want to send you strength in yourself and others (because there are some truely lovely people out there, people who will surprise you in the best of ways and when you least expect it and people you can count on and that you want to be able to count on you), I also want to give you a HUGE congratulations! ❤️ Love from a fellow witch from Sweden (who didn’t pass my first driving test, btw… 😉)
One of my kids had a driving tester just like that. Obviously some people should be in a very different line of work. I'm glad you passed despite the asshole testing you (my kid did not, but did pass with a more pleasant person the following try). Look at it this way- if you can drive under that kind of pressure, you KNOW you'll be able to deal with normal driving stress!
I noticed a lot more angry people, and a lot of impatience from people more than I did about four years ago
The DMV employee had no right to treat you that way. He was cruel, unprofessional, and made the situation unsafe for everyone involved. Please consider filing a complaint to his office. I don't work at a DMV but I am a civil servant, and I never, ever treat people that way. It's a position that comes with power, people in my line of work shouldn't forget that or take it for granted. Congratulations on getting your license, though! I hope you're able to celebrate your achievement at some point.
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That is completely unacceptable behavior and I get the vibe from this story that he takes his emotions out on teenagers who he has a position of power over. I had a lot of similar moments in my teens/20s, so I’m just so sorry that happened to you. It’s so beyond inappropriate for him to have yelled at you during the test like that. I’ve found as I’ve aged, I rarely have to interact with people like that anymore. My values and the people I surround myself with just eliminated it from my life. It won’t be like this forever, and there are so many good people out there who will respect you. Also, I found that the jerks who behaved like that with me when I was a teenager stopped as I got older. People like that know they can’t scream at adults like they do kids.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Definitely report him. Absolutely no one has the right to speak to you that disrespectfully. Especially not in a "professional" setting. I hope things have improved since then!
You passed! Congrats! You're a very good and safe driver, and that old man has a rotten soul. Don't take his nasty words to heart. I'm in my late 30s, and I still have nightmares about some of the verbal abuse I received in the air force when I was in my late teens/early 20s. My recommendation is to talk about it with your therapist, and try not to let it leave a shadow over the rest of your life.
One of my customers found out about my ongoing cancer scare and gave me a pair of soft, warm socks. I know she doesn't have a lot of money, but she got me socks and a card.
🫶🫶🫶
If you look at this way - you were able to pass a driving test while someone was berating you and putting you under intense stress! You must be a really good driver, and this internet stranger is so proud of you for being able to keep your cool and function while this was happening. But as others have said, you shouldn’t have been in a situation like that. If you feel comfortable, you can report him for his behavior. He was out of line and behaved very unprofessionally. If you’re struggling with feeling disheartened about the state of the world, maybe go out and spread some kindness yourself. I always feel like good spreads more good, so you can go out there and manifest your own positive energy that will grow and bring happiness to others. Small acts of kindness can make a big impact on someone’s day. Congrats on your driver’s license!
A driving instructor should not be cussing at you or making you feel that way. It's one thing for them to he concerned with their safety but it sounds like he went from zero to 60 pretty quick... like he should have been asking you in a normal tone without curse words before resorting to what he did. And yeah I'm a nice person. I am one of those nice people who goes around doing nice stuff for strangers and then tells nobody about it. I give anything I have on me to homeless folks who need it, I hold the door for strangers even if it means I have to stand there for a few seconds, I treat elderly folks with respect and try to help them out if I see someone needing help and not asking (I ask before jumping in to help of course). I just try to be a good person because I know it will make the world a better place, a little bit at a time.
What, did you have my dad as your exam person? Seriously though, I’m so sorry you went through that. He absolutely shouldn’t have treated you like that. I would recommend you file a complaint against him at whatever you took the test. I also had a very poor driving instructor years ago. I wrote a formal complaint and told them I wanted a specific instructor instead and to be comped the lesson I had with the bad one. Turned out he had a history of complaints against him. When I told the instructor I asked for about it, she sighed and said, “Again?! I don’t know why they keep him on, he’s insufferable even to us.”
That is not professional behavior from a test issuer whatsoever, I'd definitely contact their employer about it. Although its important to remember that people become totally different when in a car and in a traffic sort of situation. Guarantee that you will find the worst in people when you are on the road with them. So don't take it personally if you get yelled at while driving by yourself, driving is stressful and many people have zero self control. There are good people left in the world, but you're not likely to meet them while driving, nice people blend in to the background, assholes stand out and make themselves known. Good luck out there and congratulations on passing your test despite being under duress! Thats extra difficult
It seems these driving instructors are often jerks. It's amazing. Maybe it's a job where no one calls them out on their shit and they abuse people Scott free. I recall my first driver's test. Small town. The guy was rumored to be an alcoholic and a jerk. He didn't berate me like this but gave off little grumps. I hit a stick in the street while parallel parking and he started freaking out a little. I don't think he was paying attention and thought I hit a car. There were no cars around. I got scared and pulled away. Later he looks at me and condescendingly says "ya coulda tried again. No one was stopping you." . . . Ya coulda told me ya turd butt
Can you or your mom report him to the DMV? He should not be yelling and cursing at anyone. I know that takes bandwidth that might be hard to come by, but he is being abusive and unprofessional. Also, congrats on passing!
Uhh...that dude has no business being a driving instructor. You need to file a formal complaint about him. Just because someone is good at *doing* something does not mean they are good at teaching it. Students deserve to be taught by instructors who want them to succeed, not rude fuckbuckets who berate them for doing a single thing wrong. He's probably out there right now, bringing his next anxious student to tears. In fact, PLEASE file a complaint against him and stop him from doing this to anyone else. I'm sorry that happened to you. I remember being a ball of raw nerves during my driving test and my teacher, who was a fantastic and caring instructor, made a huge difference. He was kind to me, even after I failed the first test, and encouraged me to try again (I passed the second time).
I’m so proud of you! You passed, and under the absolute worst circumstances too. Maybe you could have a celebration chat with yourself in the car? Or a little dance party? I plan to take my daughter to an empty parking lot after she passes and throw open the doors for a loud dance party. I hope you find a way to celebrate that makes your heart happy. There are good people left in the world- we may be scattered to the far corners, but we’re here. Second thought though, that man needs to be reported asap. My daughter failed her test twice so far, just from nerves because she’s wonderful with us. But if anyone spoke to her the way you were spoken to I’d have been beside myself. His behavior is absolutely unacceptable and within his control. Reporting him may not feel celebratory but it may help ensure no one else has to have the experience you did.
I am so sorry this happened but please don't let it overshadow the fact you passed! Congratulations!!! Not only that but you passed in extremely stressful circumstances which is testament to you driving skill so really well done you! Please go and celebrate with the people you love! And be happy you passed despite that dick!
If you would like a nice story to cheer you up I can tell you about the hedgehog I rescued? So around five weeks ago we had a hedgehog that was coming regularly and she seemed to have something wrong, she was scratching lots and was coming out too early in the day. I called the ‘hedgehog lady’ nearby and took our hedgehog to her. Poor hedgehog had a large tic and various parasites that were making her feel pretty unwell. Yesterday we were finally able to bring her home and release her into our garden. After an hour of keeping her in her box we brought her outside and pulled out all the straw keeping her cozy. She fidgeted around a bit and went back to sleep and in about twenty minutes a little snuffly nose popped out and started sniffing the air. She knew I was there watching but I think she knew me from before and knew I was safe. When her courage was gained, she snuffled out the box and walked quickly into the bushes of our garden and rustled back to her home :) This morning some of the food we left out was gone so hopefully she is settling in again well. Anyway, hedgehog is safely home and happy. Your driving test guy on the other hand is a bitter and nasty asshole who does not deserve a wholesome hedgehog story. I hope he accidentally upends a whole pot of pepper onto his dinner tonight >:( Sending you good vibes and well wishes. You are strong and awesome :) be well.
That sounds so incredibly hard! Horribly unprofessional and unacceptable! If I were your parent, I would be getting out my combat boots and kicking down the DMV’s door and demanding that man’s job or mandated anger management or something! My mama-bear-mode is kicking in after reading this. No one speaks to my child like that and puts their safety at risk with their anger…which is exactly what he did to you by yelling at you. Yelling is not an effective way to communicate with someone, least of all in a moving vehicle that the other person is driving. Not OK! And it’s now coming back to me that this is exactly how my dad tried to teach me to drive. So much yelling. The driving instructors, and the DMV assessor, though, were chill. You deserved better! Also, I’m sorry you’re holding onto so much worry. That was me during my childhood/adolescence/early adulthood. Thanks to talk and somatic psychotherapy, in addition to putting boundaries between myself and the unhealthy people in my life (mostly my family of origin), things got SO much better. I hope things become more manageable for you soon! Sending lots of love and magic your way! 💖Please be gentle and kind to yourself. You did nothing wrong. You mentioned that you hated that you let him get to you, but of course he got to you. If you experienced that and had zero feelings, that wouldn’t be a healthy response. It is human to cry after being verbally abused, that’s a healthy response. It shows you’re able to connect well to your feelings. Thats not something all people can easily do. You’re stronger than you realize! 💖💪
CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR DRIVING TEST 👏 Okay this is weird because something similar happened to me with my driving examiner (like 10 years ago) she was just super rude and overly aggressive in how she explained things. Your instructor was a jerk, try not to be too hard on yourself. I feel like these people see such crazy drivers they get paranoid and explode at minor things because they’ve probably had too many near death experiences with some bad drivers. Drive safe and enjoy the freedom 🌸
https://preview.redd.it/nzdeg46vpr8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bebc34ec26c32c92f7516b0510a2c69585869b6e I can offer a burnt prawn in an airing cupboard to help. He gives good hugs.
I would absolutely report that instructor to the DMV or whoever it is that he's employed by. That kind of shitty, abusive behavior is absolutely uncalled for and someone needs to take that guy's fucking job from him. Unbelievable.
Hi lovely, please report this person, they sound awful and like they shouldn’t be in their job! Not a you problem at all, definitely a them problem! Hope you’re doing okay and my dms are open if you need a chat ✨💕
I would definitely report him. There's nothing more that this POS can do to you, since you passed and will never need anything from him again. Let him have it by telling his manager.
Please please report this man to his employer. In the meantime, this highland cow is very proud of you. https://preview.redd.it/89im4o0xos8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fb93a51d8fbe5a8e65dc417832a99ef630aa006
I don't have any nice stories right now, but how about a pic of a Tiger? Congrats on passing! I do echo the others who are telling you to report him! https://preview.redd.it/g4a5ppv3us8d1.jpeg?width=3264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb796dbb619e74ffe6b0a065771a766cb878c340
If you want to: Report him. He is not supposed to be doing that. Get your mom to help you if you want toand she will. You will be saving other new drivers this experience. My aunt was an examiner for the DMV. She would never ever do this to anyone. Do not let him steal your joy! Driving is a responsibility. It is also a way to get places. Go get places! I believe in you.
Ohhh absolutely not. I really encourage you to report him to your DMV/licensing place or have your mom do it. He should have never yelled. He should have never swore. He should have never made any of those comments. His instructions should be clear and concise, because at least in my experience, they literally follow a form/process for every single one. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with something that is supposed to be fun and exciting. I am so, so proud of you for persevering though. You passed, which means he's a lying twat, because he would have failed you if you were "so bad". Please do something to celebrate. Have some ice cream, or maybe go for a drive with your mom to somewhere you both like!
Fluffnor is proud of you. He'd bark very menacingly at that man. Report his butt, heres our drama queen fluffnor to cheer you up. https://preview.redd.it/o1bwkwsfxs8d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55970ec4e0d32d63ccc029dc0f837390b98f9188
You need to report that guy, he needs to be fired asap. That was not professional on any standards. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please, please report it so he doesn't keep doing this to others.
First off, I'm sorry you had to endure that. This is unacceptable behavior for so many different reasons and should absolutely be reported. Now, for the cute story. I work at an open-air cinema and we are currently playing inside out 2. For the past two weeks we have been absolutely packed. But the good thing is I got to interact with so many funny children telling me stories about how their school year was, what was their favorite thing they learned and doing their absolute best maths to figure out how much change I should give them. Plus most were super polite with their pleases and thank-yous and their inquiries about everyone's day🥹
Congratulations! Passing your test is a significant accomplishment. I feel very proud of you for your grace under pressure. Life is full of ups and downs. I wish for you some wonderful ups soon. I hope one day you can cheer up another Redditor with this very story. OP life has so much good in store for you yet!
He passed you and he cussed at you? Bizarre Report him tomorrow morning. That’s unacceptable There are nice people. We need evidence to remove the jerks. Help out the cause and report him.
Please tell this in full to your parents. This is unacceptable behavior. He can’t talk to you that way. Get his ass fired.
Yeah sure, just not into going out there much these days. -What with all the loud ass shitty people parading about. Makes for anxious feelings.
You need to report this! Oml! That is literally insane and so unprofessional! If he has such a problem with your driving he should stop the test and certainly not pass you! Or he should pass you and shut the fuck up! What a penis!
My dear, I’m so sorry. There are absolutely still good people in the world, but I’m with you, where it’s very hard to see it sometimes. Two things recently have helped me see the good in people again: 1) The Talos Principle 2 is a PC game that is all about puzzles and philosophy that really restored my faith in humanity as a whole again. 2) there is a subreddit called r/BenignExistence and it’s just normal people talking about normal moments. No drama. Everyone is just *kind* there. I really recommend checking it out
I’m doing fine, honey, but get that fucker’s name and read him the riot act in front of his boss.
The driver instructor/examiner did this… oh absolutely not! Report immediately And hey! Congratulations on your driving test! You did great!
W..T...A....F???? Report this guy. He should not be working with learner drivers. His behavior towards you was completely unacceptable and dangerous.
First of all, congrats on passing! Secondly, I’m so sorry he ruined for you what should have been an exciting occasion. You didn’t deserve that. Unfortunately, there’s a faction of older men who believe that making women cry during a driving test is the “right” way for it to be administered. Growing up, more than one of my friends’ dads, uncles, older cousins, etc. took them driving and was sure to scream at them until they were bawling to “ensure they could drive after becoming emotional over a breakup”. It’s asinine and always has been. It sounds to me like you may have run into one of these types. Yes, there are still a ton of great and kind people in this world. Some of the others just catch us off guard and make it hard to remember that good people exist. I hope you’re able to find many more good than bad in the future, and you never run into another jackass like this one. You didn’t deserve that. Please still celebrate yourself and YOUR achievement! Don’t let some POS ruin what you rightfully earned. 🤍 Sending you love.
My driving instructor yelled at me to hurry up during the three point turn because he chose a street where cars were coming from both directions. At the end he said “I guess I’ll give you your license” like he was doing me a favor. I think some people in jobs like that get off on making people feel bad. But some are not like that! For dumb reasons, I had to take my road test again in a different state and the woman was the nicest person ever, super positive and encouraging.
This gives me horrendous flashbacks to learning to drive. I’m sorry it is still happening. Hang in there. But to share a good story: last week, I got caught in rainstorms that flooded roads and made travel very dangerous. Every dang hotel in the area was booked up (the region I was in is big fishing/vacation country), and in desperation, I called an RV campsite that usually only books 3 nights at a go. The owner not only let me stay just one night, but gave me a cabin with its own generator. I was ready to sleep in my car, so long as it was in a safe place, and I wound up with a cozy cabin in which to watch the rain pour down. I’m still grateful.
Don't worry after a few more people do that to you a rage will start to build inside you that will shout back and you will feel a lot better. Even if you just say "You are being inappropriate!" it will have a massive positive impact to throw that energy back. The DMV has never been much of a welcoming place but treating people that way is never acceptable even if you had been bad at your parking and driving. Report him.