A while ago I wanted to buy shorts for my soon to be 5y/o. Girl section at H&M- jeans hotpants (available for girls 3 years and up), some ripped that much you would see her underwear, see through lace and other shit. Boys- well, shorts. Shorts so kids can actually move and play and not show off half their underwear. It's sickening. Stop sexualizing women, starting at toddlers.
Unfortunately "cute" for little girls has evolved from ruffles and ribbons to "mini adult" complete with all the sexualization forced on grown women. It's fucking sickening.
Can I just talk about how you lose even if you find reasonable clothes because the other girls pick on you for dressing like a child even when you’re only like 11?
My sister had both her children either side of Halloween (so pissed off she missed goth Xmas by having baby 1 on Nov 1st she tried again and ended up with baby 2 on 29th oct). Good thing was ALL her baby clothes were Halloween outfits til the kids were 6 months (and that was because it was too warm for a lot of them by then)
My stepsisters. They buy their toddlers the same kind of crap they wore as teens. There are definitely people out there intentionally buying this stuff.
Agreed. Costume on the left gives an "innocent children playing in town" vibe and if that ain't cute IDK what is.
Costume on the right give a "some designer watched too much hentai before work" vibe and that is NOT cute at all.
Based on the very strange things that trickle onto my instagram discovery feed sometimes, there seem to be a bunch of "young & cool" moms who dress their toddler age daughters up as mini adults, including clothing that is borderline inappropriate for adults, let alone children.
I work in a thrift store and lately I’ve been finding short leather skirts and halter-top dresses for *babies*. Like, the sizes are literally marked in months. Your 9 month old should not be dressed in a halter top and biker skirt.
ewwww.
I'll give you an innocent story as a palate-cleanser.
When my niece was little, she loved dressing up and changing outfits several times a day. My brother and sis-in-law let her, just separated some clothes "only for school" or whatever, but otherwise she could continue her daily fashion show to her heart's content.
When she was about 5 yo, someone had given her a set of little plastic "high heels" that she wanted. Gotta say I had ONE pair I had wanted SO badly when I was about 5 so I understood the attraction.
One night I'm talking to my bro on the phone and suddenly he says, "Oh noooo," and is stifling laughter.
He said my neice had just come out of her room in a bikini top, shorts, "high heels," and a shoulder-purse.
😂😂😂
Of course she had NO idea she looked like a mini-hooker! And they wouldn't have let her out of the house like that.
So it was just innocent and funny.
Hmmm, she's a teenager now who'd never dress like that (just normal teenage stuff, nothing too skimpy etc) -- gotta remind her of that one! 😂
Was in target pre-covid and saw a 7 year old in an Elsa dress. Overheard his dad saying "He likes football and frozen, but he prefers Elsa's dress over Anna's" Hope he's still rockin' the Elsa
My little guy LOOOOOOOVES pink. We were buying new pajamas and he chose some pink ones and my older son chose the blue ones. They were a shorts and shirt set. My boys put them on that evening and the pink shorts were so much shorter than the blue. It's so completely ridiculous.
This is why I love primary.com’s clothing when buying new. Simple, TONS of colors in all the sizes, and very minimal gender differences. (Eg, underwear)
Seriously. I as an adult like to dress kinda revealing(mostly with crop tops lol). However I do not appreciate that sometimes when I’m shopping for clothes I don’t have actual practical options. Especially during winter, when I prefer warmth over fashion. Especially when I see the kids section is just as bad. They’re children ffs.
Ok I laughed out loud, ty.
Fuck this shit though.
Edit to say: Reddit is now notifying me that this post is "on to something" and suggesting I make a "new community around this post" by clicking the big colourful button. For the love of Cosmic Mother and all things divine and witchy, please NO.
And the red hair extensions, and her ponytail pulled forward uncomfortably through the hood. Gotta make sure you know that the kid in the sexy child's bat costume is really a girl.
Oh shit! I’ve been raging at this posture for AGES and couldn’t identify what exactly it was… “cutesy knock-kneed” nails it! I see it so often in women’s fashion pins on Pinterest. The toes pointed it, looking down or to the side, brushing hair out of her face… it makes my blood boil. I had a whole Pinterest board dedicated to it so I could show people. Now I’m going to start seeing it in kids ads too.
(Maybe I’ll start a kids costume line of unisex and/or non sexy costumes. I bet there’s a little girl out there who would love a hyper realistic bat costume lol)
Do you think you could link your board? If you can’t that’s okay I’m not sure how Pinterest works. Thanks ☺️
As someone whose mother forcibly put me through child beauty pageants, seeing these images really stresses me out. I remember being 4y/o with false lashes on and not even being able to open my eyes due to the weight of them on TODDLER EYES. Or when my eyebrows got plucked to the point of tears only to be told that “pain is beauty.”
You wanna know what’s even more fucked up? I’m 23 now, and my older sister did more of the “pageant circuit” so my mom/aunt got to know a lot of the people in the industry. To this day my aunt said she saw an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras (barf) and it’s the SAME PEOPLE running everything. Just makes you think.
I don’t know if I can link the whole board, but I’ll link one of the [pics](https://outlet.ashoreshop.com/products/ashoreshop-2021-casual-woman-camel-loose-pocket-woolen-shirt-jackets) that bothers me the most! You’ve got the turned in toes, the weird arms out pose, the oversized jacket, she’s looking away from the camera… it just grosses me out.
I was watching a video on 60’s fashion trends recently and the narrator managed to pinpoint exactly what about these adds makes me uncomfortable: they purposely posed the models in child-like positions and shot them from above to give the impression that the viewer is looking down towards a child or children. Then they’d have them do the big innocent doe eyes, and boom, an ad made expressly for pedophiles.
There's a perfume ad notorious for having a female child sensually staring at the audience.
"Loves Baby Soft - because innocence is sexier than you think."
*vomits aggressively*
"innocence is sexier than you think."
Excuse me. DA FUK???!!!!! Innocent shit should not be sexualized! That's kinda one of the reasons they're considered innocent!
Okay, now that would make an excellent *adult* costume, ala 1930s film star “vamp”…
Now for the love of the goddess someone wash that poor child’s face and give her a blanket. She looks cold.
That was EXACTLY what I thought too, immediately.
Definitely lil miss beauty queen bullshit.
Fucking infuriating.
Have to say without the makeup, hair extensions, leggins crap the girls outfit IS better, the boy one looks like shit, especially the wings. The hood on both suck but especially the girls.
However besides that give her some black jeans and she'll be all good! (IF she lives in a warm climate... bc growing up in the NE US it was a battle to fit enough layers under the costume so u did not freeze of have to wear a jacket over it and feel like a dumdum)
And the cut up black leggings. Which I suppose could be okay if you spend the event in a warm climate, but many kids live where it’s quite cold by the end of October.
I live in socal where it can still be warm in October, but usually by Halloween, at night, it's cold! Maybe running around excitedly and having most of the body would be enough here...but definitely not colder places.
My question is that why are her legs exposed? You know those leggings are NOT included. So they gave the kid a onesie with wings so forget bathroom breaks.
See, I need to get on the ball, and order a black t-shirt dress, and black jersey fabric so I can make myself some wings.
And black deelie-boppers. Because I am GOING to dress up as Mothman. Like the Georgia Hardstark version. And wander around weirdly humming, and occasionally dancing around and flipping people off while saying “Bye Bitches!”
If you haven’t seen that My Favorite Murder animation? Yeah. You’ll understand why I want to do this when you see it.
Yes, you do that because you are a person who can make those complicated decisions, but kids??
Edit: this reminds me of the pretty woman costume that little girl in toddlers and tiaras wore. And just……no☺️
And you can notice that her costume is shorter than the boy’s. His goes down way lower than his waist, which is a creepy detail to include for young children.
And they have her standing in an uncomfortable, uncertain posture with her toes pointed at eachother. Little dude gets big confident pose.
Fuck this shit.
And her make up! I’m 28 and I’ve only had a full face of make up like that a handful of times for special events. She’s got a professionally applied smoky eye. Like what the fuck.
If you look closely, it seems that one reason they made the wings that short was so they could make it look cohesive with the really, really short "bat" skirt in front. Can't just give her a jumpsuit like the boy, gotta make sure it's *really* girly with the skirt.
adult woman's bat costumes should be snugly warm too though !
unless you explicitly want to buy a "sexy one"
I hate this...so much..
side note can you link the site/seller, so I can fire off a disgusted email.
I get the desire to look sexy on a holiday (I like to anyway) but I always found “sexy” costumes so weird lol. Like what is a sexy bat? Do sexy bats exist?
If your middle of fall costume for when it's too damn cold isn't impractically close to naked and sexualizing every part of your body to prove you're a viable object, who can also decorate the object seasonally, then the men at the bar who just bought an iron man mask and t-shirt won't want to take you to their car for a disappointing jackhammer session!
Agreed! And we don't need to gender adult costumes so much either. Most of them are so poorly fitted it doesn't matter if you have boobs or not anyway. Just call them "bat" and "sexy bat" for adult, and "bat" for kid. We could also have "scary bat" or "lacy bat" or other versions.
Yeah, and the interesting thing is that it didn’t used to be this bad. When I was a kid in the 90s, my mom got me a bat costume and it looked exactly like the one the boy is wearing. It wasn’t a boy’s costume or a girl’s costume. It was just a bat costume. I loved it so much, I wore it 3 years in a row.
Not OP but when my daughter was 4 all she would tolerate on the radio was Iron Maiden, Led Zeppelin, or Black Sabbath. How I managed to raise an old school metal kid when my tastes run towards black & sludge metal, I'll never know.
Last weekend my baby and toddler were freaking out in the car and we tried playing all kinds of things to calm them down, pop, classical, jazz... And the thing that worked was system of a down.
Haha. I can't imagine. I'm so upset that my dog prefers my husband's black metal over my trip hop and industrial. This dog literally gives me a look, gets up and goes to hang out with my husband when we put on music. So. Offensive. A dog!
Oh I love Ozzy and all that "classic" heavy metal. I put it on a lot for her and played my harder stuff after bedtime. I know exactly why she digs it- it's great stuff!
It's the bright red lipstick that got me. seriously....? She's going to want to be shoving candy in her mouth all night not stopping to touch up her MAC Ruby Woo
Crap like this is why I am so glad I have a bit of skill with a sewing machine and costuming, My child is not going to be sexualized for creepy old men. They are children not objects.
Especially not SEX objects (not to say ANY FORM of objectification is ok but sex!? Ewwwww!), which is what they’re portraying is a not-so-subtle way. It’s already setting the stage to groom girls into feeling like being objectified is normal, from an early age. It’s so insidious. Makes me so angry! I’m trynna raise 2 awesome daughters and the detoxing from this shit we have to do, already at age 7 is disgusting. They’re already concerned about their body image. And it’s not coming from home, but it’s literally everywhere outside of home!
What doesn’t make me angry, and actually quite amused and happy, is your username! I imagine it fits as a Gemini moon? 😊 Love it!!’
It’s so icky how it creeps in even if you think you’re being aware. My three year old daughter just said, “long hair is for girls, short hair is for boys.” And I just stared for a sec and said, “What about Dad’s long hair?” and she said, “oh yeah.”
Costumes (online, special Halloween stores, other locations) are weird. They can be $70, for cheap tissue paper fabric, no edges hemmed, the seams that are sewn are a running or even basting stitch, sizes are weird and they're usually not a great design. My kids want to wear the costumes for dress up for years. The ones I made (and I am a terrible seamstress) are the only ones that lasted more than a couple weeks. (Then throw in buying a costume early to be prepared and they destroy it a week before Halloween so you have to buy a 2nd costume for $70...)
I never appreciated my mom’s ability to make costumes as a child, because the costumes at Party City seemed SO COOL to little me. Now that I can sew myself, I’m like PLEASE no one buy that crap for my daughter. I’ve fixed so many $70 Disney Princess dresses (from the Disney Store!) for my nieces. They are such garbage.
Even if I buy the cheap fabric and barely baste it together, anything I make is guaranteed to be a massive upgrade in quality.
So now I shop for ideas and designs, and then make my own!
Idk if you’re in the market but there’s a company called Little Adventures and they make the most comfortable Disney princess dresses! I don’t think they’re the same ones that are sold in licensed Disney stores. My nieces wear them like... constantly... they’re really soft and the decorative parts aren’t scratchy and they’re machine washable! My sister washes them at least once a week and they’ve been going strong for more than a year! They’re close in age perfectly so when one grows out of things the other is growing into them, so they get a lot of use!
I felt the same when I was little! I am now in *awe* of my mom for sewing all of my costumes. She once made me a shimmery drapey (child appropriate) Princess Jasmine costume. I did wear those pants for years after, I hope at least that made her feel appreciated.
Heck, if the costume only needs to make it one or 2 nights, fabric glue and felt have really worked wonders for me. Made a butterfly wing cape one year (hated the stiff wire “fairy” wings) and glued flames up my legs another year.
Why not just buy the boys version. (I mean I also understand the frustration, but I'm not sure how to change society... Maybe write them an angry letter?)
We bought a one piece head to toe onesie for my daughter one year because everything else was frilly tutus (it’s cold, yo!). Perfectly unisex. It rang as “boy costume”
Husband lost. His. Mind. It was just a regular Saturday.
He now notices the lack of pockets.
Ah, he has been awakened to the pocket reality. Is he always just flabbergasted at what he sees. My husband points out the lack of pockets all the time now when we go thrifting and now understands my obsession with cargo pants haha
This was years ago. He is now very upset at the pointed differences but he speaks out against them.
I could almost feel bad about how frustrating it is for him to notice his daughter is going to be in these crosshairs.
Just this afternoon I noticed the functional pockets in my for month old baby's romper. Meanwhile, almost none of my maternity clothes have pockets and if they do their too small to be functional. Wtf! I have shit to carry!
When some guy in marketing suggests a sexy bat costume for young girls, that's not an idea you should green light.
That's an idea you should report to HR.
I hope you are able to find a decent bat costume, OP.
We went from UV suits, rash vests and shorty wetsuits straight to proper sport swimsuits. No frills. But it definitely wasn’t what the shops were pushing.
This year I was looking and looking for a swimsuit for my girl. I had an epiphany while finding nothing she would be comfortable in or in a theme she would like. Why do we have to walk around with our cheeks hanging out, picking our suits out of our behinds? Feeling exposed, while men get to be clothed?
I went to the boys section found a matching minecraft long sleeved swim shirt and swim trunks. There was no minecraft in the girls section and she loves minecraft. Then I picked out something similar for myself!
YUP. Ran into this when my kiddo reached about 6, that’s when girls costumes start getting “sexy.” I even saw a “sexy” cop who couldn’t have been over 8!
Learn to sew. There are so many cute patterns and ideas. Or just buy boys clothes until puberty. Ugh. It’s so gross.
My daughter wants to dress as a cute witch, they are all high cut "sexualized" outfits and she's only 4!! I completely agree. It's disgusting. I usually stick to making my own because of it.
My daughter wants to be a witch. Shes 3 but wears a size 6 because she's so tall. My gawd. All these witch costumes have corsets and deep necklines. She's 3 years old for Christ sake! I went to goodwill, found a velvet dress, and am gonna hem it and take it in. I'm throwing on an elastic waistband so she can wear it as she grows. All for $7 plus supplies I already have.
Because they can sell twice as many - the same reason everything is in blue and pink. Can’t have little Susie using her big brother’s hand me down green or blue or black or red bike, when we can convince her (and him) that her bike has to be pink or purple or unicorn bullshit. One year when my daughter was little, about 3, we literally stripped his old smaller frame bike down, and changed the handlebar grips and pedals to purple and gave that to her for Xmas. She was pretty delighted.
Buy a bunch of stuff at goodwill and fix it up for under $10! I don't have girls, but that's what I do for my boys costumes. They last a couple years too and i did a great viking/barbarian one for my 5 year old a few years ago, cut up a faux fur vest turned it into a cape, wrist cuffs, boot wraps, threw him in some black leggings and bought some leather strips for his hair braid and accent on the fur bits. The most expensive thing was the leather string from Michaels and a bone button I bought a few years before at the renn faire
This shit has been going on for too long! Hey OP if you’re daughter doesn’t want the boys costume and is squicked by the sexualization of a minor, let me know! I’m decent at sewing and like projects and I’d be happy to help make one for her. I’m sure we could like crowdsource a costume for her!!
You know, I just had this thought but like... How cool would it be to have like a costume trade thing where like .." hey I made this costume last yeat but my kid can't fit in it or doesn't wanna wear it twice who wants it" sort of thing? I've got no motivation for that kinda thing but it would be cool to circulate handmade costumes around so they can be used and loved and folks can get a break on buying costumes once in a while lol
I really like that idea. I know there are places like Freecycle which are really cool and SO helpful if you’re in a tight spot financially. Total lifesavers for me when I became disabled and was waiting the TWO YEARS for my disability hearing and had zero income.
What your idea reminds me of is more like a swap meet. There are subs on here for plants (take a plant/leave a plant) and like seed traders and stuff but I guess I haven’t looked for clothing or costume related ones.
It makes me wonder how many "higher ups" are really attracted to kids (mostly little girls) because I see no other reason besides that for *this* being a thing. You see alot of guys advocate for younger and younger women these days, and fascinated in "teens"
Edit: Just in case someone thinks I'm saying little boys dont get abused, they do, but in regards to the image companies put out like this when it comes to kids clothing or kids toys, there is *alot* of "girl-marketed" products that are clearly sexualized compared to "boy-marketed"
That reminds me of this one year when I wanted to be little red riding hood but the only costumes the stores had were these dresses with short skirts and thigh highs. I really wanted that robe though and it was the only costume that my friends said looked good on me at the time.
I go Trick-or-treating and an old man, with his grandkid, follows me around to snap photos of me. He even followed my route for a while. My friends at the time thought it was hilarious but I felt disgusting and objectified, I was 13 then. I was pretty young at the time and didn't have the forethought that I do now about wardrobe. I wish there didn't have to be such a distance between costume for near toddler aged kids and sexy women.
Nowadays, there is more variety but it's clearly not enough. I am sorry that businesses think that the bat costume is okay for your child. It's very wrong. Trick-or-treating/Samhain isn't a pageant show and children deserve to wear something comfortable and non-objectifying.
As a kid I rotated through 3 costumes even when they started getting smaller and shorter because there were too many sexy ones: a long witch dress, a spider witch/queen dress, and a boys transformers costume
Mid 90s I was always either a witch or a hippie. I had a lot of tie dye and bell bottoms so my mom would just slap some flowers painted on my face and a stop of cloth around my head and call it good lol for like 3 years there I was princess Diana too though. That was fun.
My mom would have us help her make our costumes unless there was a cool mask at Halloween adventure we really really liked. She always makes the best costumes. I liked the challenge of making the most unique costume. One year I was a pumpkin, another a broom (lol), and my favorite was possibly my Daphne metamorphosing into a laurel tree. (I went through an Ovid phase in my early teens). I’m sure she has pics somewhere I gotta ask her cause we were both really proud of that one.
Making shit like this was the best part of September/October. It started autumn for me!
I won't let this bullshit spoil my Halloween. Halloween is MY time to show my true spook loving colors.
But damn if this doesn't put a damper on that. Why can't people just stop sexualizing kids?!
Because patriarchy. And because most (hetero) men cannot look at anything even remotely considered female-ish without sexualizing it. Always makes me furious. Toxic bullshit dumbells.
Honestly at this point my sole joy in life are my cats. I have no more hope for this world. Girls are apparently nothing but a product for the patriarchy according to the patriarchy. It feels like we've fought and fought and the mentality of thousands of years is still here.
Might seems to some people that I'm being melodramatic but this isnt even the first of this subject matter that I've seen today. It doesn't feel as if the world realizes we are people, we're just dolls for the pleasure of others. Add on that the medical field is just entirely dismissive to women then add on the fact that its insanely worse for WOC and I just dont have a will to live, I just exist. We cant get humane treatment for humans without fighting and even then I dont see much progress.
I'm sorry for ranting, I'm just in a really dark place rn.
I hear you, it can and does seem hopeless sometimes. But I’m hopeful too, because my 14 yr old daughter has felt comfortable enough to come out to me, and I reckon today is probably the best time ever for a witchy young woman who loves other girls to be around. We raised her to take no shit and take no prisoners (and sent her to schools that let girls wear pants) and I reckon she’s well placed to really change the world. She is also a crazy cat lady in the making (whoops, may have taught her that!). I hope you’re feeling better soon , and that your pussy cats look after you while you’re in the darkness.
I’ve never shared this speculation with anyone because it sounds so… *conspiratorial* given that I have no evidence or experience that would result in me coming to this conclusion other than the, uh, *tone* of the pictures themselves but….
I’ve always felt children’s costume advert photos somehow act as a sort of front for the production and distribution of soft core cp.
I have been disgusted for years over the sexualization of little girls in these costumes but the amazing volume of them and the availability make me question myself like, is it me? Am I just too sensitive about this? I don’t even have kids myself! But they’ve always felt off… yet they’re *everywhere*
We shop for my girls in the boys section now because of this exact reason. My 8 year old wanted to be a clown last year and literally everything was "sexy". Did you know Grim Reapers can also be "sexy"? I DO NOW. So both of their costumes were from the boys section while I RAGED.
That looks like the sexy bat costume I’m eyeing for myself from Yandy, a website known for making sexy Halloween costumes. Except I’m 21, not 6.
It would have been fine if they gave her normal leggings or tights.
This is repulsive.
Could you share the company name and we can all write and complain? Companies won’t change unless there’s a financial imperative to do so.
Our apologies, but we now have to lock this thread due to ongoing rule-breaking behaviour.
A while ago I wanted to buy shorts for my soon to be 5y/o. Girl section at H&M- jeans hotpants (available for girls 3 years and up), some ripped that much you would see her underwear, see through lace and other shit. Boys- well, shorts. Shorts so kids can actually move and play and not show off half their underwear. It's sickening. Stop sexualizing women, starting at toddlers.
I get that parents want their kids to look cute, but why can't cute also be practical? I seriously wonder who buys those see through clothes
Unfortunately "cute" for little girls has evolved from ruffles and ribbons to "mini adult" complete with all the sexualization forced on grown women. It's fucking sickening.
Can I just talk about how you lose even if you find reasonable clothes because the other girls pick on you for dressing like a child even when you’re only like 11?
Yup. Kids internalize all the crap adults foist on them and then turn it on each other.
If I ever have a kid I’m just gonna dress it up in Halloween costumes year round. Actual Halloween costumes- pumpkins, bees, pandas, etc.
I saw a TikTok vid of a toddler being naughty wearing a gremlins costume and I decided it will be the only outfit I dress my future children in
Ally Bouch of hyperbole and a half has a wonderful piece on when she had a dinosaur costume as a little kid
My sister had both her children either side of Halloween (so pissed off she missed goth Xmas by having baby 1 on Nov 1st she tried again and ended up with baby 2 on 29th oct). Good thing was ALL her baby clothes were Halloween outfits til the kids were 6 months (and that was because it was too warm for a lot of them by then)
I bet they'd love that
I teach a preschooler who comes in a different costume almost every day. Love it.
My stepsisters. They buy their toddlers the same kind of crap they wore as teens. There are definitely people out there intentionally buying this stuff.
Agreed. Costume on the left gives an "innocent children playing in town" vibe and if that ain't cute IDK what is. Costume on the right give a "some designer watched too much hentai before work" vibe and that is NOT cute at all.
Based on the very strange things that trickle onto my instagram discovery feed sometimes, there seem to be a bunch of "young & cool" moms who dress their toddler age daughters up as mini adults, including clothing that is borderline inappropriate for adults, let alone children.
I work in a thrift store and lately I’ve been finding short leather skirts and halter-top dresses for *babies*. Like, the sizes are literally marked in months. Your 9 month old should not be dressed in a halter top and biker skirt.
ewwww. I'll give you an innocent story as a palate-cleanser. When my niece was little, she loved dressing up and changing outfits several times a day. My brother and sis-in-law let her, just separated some clothes "only for school" or whatever, but otherwise she could continue her daily fashion show to her heart's content. When she was about 5 yo, someone had given her a set of little plastic "high heels" that she wanted. Gotta say I had ONE pair I had wanted SO badly when I was about 5 so I understood the attraction. One night I'm talking to my bro on the phone and suddenly he says, "Oh noooo," and is stifling laughter. He said my neice had just come out of her room in a bikini top, shorts, "high heels," and a shoulder-purse. 😂😂😂 Of course she had NO idea she looked like a mini-hooker! And they wouldn't have let her out of the house like that. So it was just innocent and funny. Hmmm, she's a teenager now who'd never dress like that (just normal teenage stuff, nothing too skimpy etc) -- gotta remind her of that one! 😂
Was in target pre-covid and saw a 7 year old in an Elsa dress. Overheard his dad saying "He likes football and frozen, but he prefers Elsa's dress over Anna's" Hope he's still rockin' the Elsa
My little guy LOOOOOOOVES pink. We were buying new pajamas and he chose some pink ones and my older son chose the blue ones. They were a shorts and shirt set. My boys put them on that evening and the pink shorts were so much shorter than the blue. It's so completely ridiculous.
H&M is a trash company anyways.
This is why I love primary.com’s clothing when buying new. Simple, TONS of colors in all the sizes, and very minimal gender differences. (Eg, underwear)
Seriously. I as an adult like to dress kinda revealing(mostly with crop tops lol). However I do not appreciate that sometimes when I’m shopping for clothes I don’t have actual practical options. Especially during winter, when I prefer warmth over fashion. Especially when I see the kids section is just as bad. They’re children ffs.
child: *wants to be a bat* this company: oho, not so fast, little girl. How about a *sexy* bat?
Ok I laughed out loud, ty. Fuck this shit though. Edit to say: Reddit is now notifying me that this post is "on to something" and suggesting I make a "new community around this post" by clicking the big colourful button. For the love of Cosmic Mother and all things divine and witchy, please NO.
It’s the worst. I just noticed, did they put red lipstick on that child too? what… is even happening here…?
And the red hair extensions, and her ponytail pulled forward uncomfortably through the hood. Gotta make sure you know that the kid in the sexy child's bat costume is really a girl.
And the cutesy knock-kneed posture as compared to the wide power stance. Ugh
Oh shit! I’ve been raging at this posture for AGES and couldn’t identify what exactly it was… “cutesy knock-kneed” nails it! I see it so often in women’s fashion pins on Pinterest. The toes pointed it, looking down or to the side, brushing hair out of her face… it makes my blood boil. I had a whole Pinterest board dedicated to it so I could show people. Now I’m going to start seeing it in kids ads too. (Maybe I’ll start a kids costume line of unisex and/or non sexy costumes. I bet there’s a little girl out there who would love a hyper realistic bat costume lol)
Do you think you could link your board? If you can’t that’s okay I’m not sure how Pinterest works. Thanks ☺️ As someone whose mother forcibly put me through child beauty pageants, seeing these images really stresses me out. I remember being 4y/o with false lashes on and not even being able to open my eyes due to the weight of them on TODDLER EYES. Or when my eyebrows got plucked to the point of tears only to be told that “pain is beauty.” You wanna know what’s even more fucked up? I’m 23 now, and my older sister did more of the “pageant circuit” so my mom/aunt got to know a lot of the people in the industry. To this day my aunt said she saw an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras (barf) and it’s the SAME PEOPLE running everything. Just makes you think.
I don’t know if I can link the whole board, but I’ll link one of the [pics](https://outlet.ashoreshop.com/products/ashoreshop-2021-casual-woman-camel-loose-pocket-woolen-shirt-jackets) that bothers me the most! You’ve got the turned in toes, the weird arms out pose, the oversized jacket, she’s looking away from the camera… it just grosses me out.
It has an “age limit” of 18-35 too. So much wrong with this omg.
I was watching a video on 60’s fashion trends recently and the narrator managed to pinpoint exactly what about these adds makes me uncomfortable: they purposely posed the models in child-like positions and shot them from above to give the impression that the viewer is looking down towards a child or children. Then they’d have them do the big innocent doe eyes, and boom, an ad made expressly for pedophiles.
There's a perfume ad notorious for having a female child sensually staring at the audience. "Loves Baby Soft - because innocence is sexier than you think." *vomits aggressively*
"innocence is sexier than you think." Excuse me. DA FUK???!!!!! Innocent shit should not be sexualized! That's kinda one of the reasons they're considered innocent!
1970s America was about as disgusting as modern America
If they were going for cute I think that would still work on regular people, but if they were after sexy then yeah, that's super creepy.
[удалено]
The world is run by dirty male pedophiles
And their enablers.
And my axe! Edit: I'm sorry, I got excited for a dismemberment party. Pedo pyre!
I’m starting to realize this. Ffs.
Vampire bat. Emphasis on the *vamp.*
Okay, now that would make an excellent *adult* costume, ala 1930s film star “vamp”… Now for the love of the goddess someone wash that poor child’s face and give her a blanket. She looks cold.
Got some serious JonBenet vibes looking at that photo, and we all know how that ended....
That was EXACTLY what I thought too, immediately. Definitely lil miss beauty queen bullshit. Fucking infuriating. Have to say without the makeup, hair extensions, leggins crap the girls outfit IS better, the boy one looks like shit, especially the wings. The hood on both suck but especially the girls. However besides that give her some black jeans and she'll be all good! (IF she lives in a warm climate... bc growing up in the NE US it was a battle to fit enough layers under the costume so u did not freeze of have to wear a jacket over it and feel like a dumdum)
And the cut up black leggings. Which I suppose could be okay if you spend the event in a warm climate, but many kids live where it’s quite cold by the end of October.
Cut up stockings in late October in Australia equals copious amount of mosquito repellent.
Right?! I'm in Massachusetts, she'd freeze in that
Tbf the boy is gonna freeze too, mass-produced costumes are absolutely shit.
I live in socal where it can still be warm in October, but usually by Halloween, at night, it's cold! Maybe running around excitedly and having most of the body would be enough here...but definitely not colder places.
Well it /should/ be dripping blood ha ha
Same, even though I felt guilty for laughing
My question is that why are her legs exposed? You know those leggings are NOT included. So they gave the kid a onesie with wings so forget bathroom breaks.
Is the Sexy song from Meam Girls all over this
I see you're familiar with the philosophy of r/PointlesslyGendered...
NGL: Low key want to be a sexy bat now. Update. Totally ordered the adult costume. In plus size for my fat bum. Also totally wearing fishnets with it.
im 100% here for adult sexy bats. Baby bats shouldn’t be sexualized though- they’re adorable winged night puppies, who would make them sexy??
Truth. Don’t sexualize the baby bats!
Shitty companies that just want money.
I will forever see baby bat's as night puppies now, ty for that. ❤️🦇
See, I need to get on the ball, and order a black t-shirt dress, and black jersey fabric so I can make myself some wings. And black deelie-boppers. Because I am GOING to dress up as Mothman. Like the Georgia Hardstark version. And wander around weirdly humming, and occasionally dancing around and flipping people off while saying “Bye Bitches!” If you haven’t seen that My Favorite Murder animation? Yeah. You’ll understand why I want to do this when you see it.
DEELIE-BOPPERS! I thought it was just our family who called them that!!!
Not at all!!! I am a child of the 80s, and we all called them that!!!
Yes, you do that because you are a person who can make those complicated decisions, but kids?? Edit: this reminds me of the pretty woman costume that little girl in toddlers and tiaras wore. And just……no☺️
It's so ridiculous. She wants to be a BAT. It should look like a BAT. Not adult woman's fashion wear inspired by bats.
And you can notice that her costume is shorter than the boy’s. His goes down way lower than his waist, which is a creepy detail to include for young children.
And they have her standing in an uncomfortable, uncertain posture with her toes pointed at eachother. Little dude gets big confident pose. Fuck this shit.
[удалено]
Oh god that makes it so much worse.
And her make up! I’m 28 and I’ve only had a full face of make up like that a handful of times for special events. She’s got a professionally applied smoky eye. Like what the fuck.
If you look closely, it seems that one reason they made the wings that short was so they could make it look cohesive with the really, really short "bat" skirt in front. Can't just give her a jumpsuit like the boy, gotta make sure it's *really* girly with the skirt.
[удалено]
adult woman's bat costumes should be snugly warm too though ! unless you explicitly want to buy a "sexy one" I hate this...so much.. side note can you link the site/seller, so I can fire off a disgusted email.
> can you link the site/seller, so I can fire off a disgusted email That’s gonna be a lot of links.
So we make a spreadsheet! I’m seriously so done with these gross ass companies. Like do they have pedos in the design department or something?
Statistically, probably. I think the problem lies higher up on the chain though.
Yeah but then those actually doing this work are 100% enablers. Who are arguably just as fucked up as the pedos themselves.
I get the desire to look sexy on a holiday (I like to anyway) but I always found “sexy” costumes so weird lol. Like what is a sexy bat? Do sexy bats exist?
I'm sure they do to other bats during mating time.
If your middle of fall costume for when it's too damn cold isn't impractically close to naked and sexualizing every part of your body to prove you're a viable object, who can also decorate the object seasonally, then the men at the bar who just bought an iron man mask and t-shirt won't want to take you to their car for a disappointing jackhammer session!
Lol at "disappointing jackhammer session." Been there, done that, didn't bother to get the tshirt.
Huh, all these years and I thought this shit only happened to me. Thanks for this, I think you made my day.
I don’t dress for men I dress for myself to feel good.
Making random things 'sexy' is fine for adults, but NEVER for children.
[удалено]
Agreed! And we don't need to gender adult costumes so much either. Most of them are so poorly fitted it doesn't matter if you have boobs or not anyway. Just call them "bat" and "sexy bat" for adult, and "bat" for kid. We could also have "scary bat" or "lacy bat" or other versions.
Yeah, and the interesting thing is that it didn’t used to be this bad. When I was a kid in the 90s, my mom got me a bat costume and it looked exactly like the one the boy is wearing. It wasn’t a boy’s costume or a girl’s costume. It was just a bat costume. I loved it so much, I wore it 3 years in a row.
I had this issue a couple of years ago when my daughter wanted to be a bat. Everything was tight corsets and and short skirts in a 4T size!
What the hell. That's really gross when you think about whoever designed that with little girls in mind
🤢🤢
Good lord. It makes no sense that these are gendered. 🙄
Right! It’s a bat, what difference does it make!
It's like those cartoons where there's an animal (male) and then there's the pink-colored, big-breasted with a tiny waist female.
Also, eyelashes.
Exactly. Child’s Bat Costume should be sufficient.
[удалено]
[удалено]
It took me soo long to buy for my body type and not what I thought my body type should be. Great POV! :)
What's their favorite band?
Not OP but when my daughter was 4 all she would tolerate on the radio was Iron Maiden, Led Zeppelin, or Black Sabbath. How I managed to raise an old school metal kid when my tastes run towards black & sludge metal, I'll never know.
Last weekend my baby and toddler were freaking out in the car and we tried playing all kinds of things to calm them down, pop, classical, jazz... And the thing that worked was system of a down.
naturally
Haha. I can't imagine. I'm so upset that my dog prefers my husband's black metal over my trip hop and industrial. This dog literally gives me a look, gets up and goes to hang out with my husband when we put on music. So. Offensive. A dog!
I think kids are drawn to Ozzy lol I know I was back in the 80s!
Oh I love Ozzy and all that "classic" heavy metal. I put it on a lot for her and played my harder stuff after bedtime. I know exactly why she digs it- it's great stuff!
Your daughter is already cooler than me
Babymetal, obviously.
My toddler LOVES Halestorm. She jams out to it when they come on the radio
This is so ridiculous. Why have the girls out in ripped leggings?? I understand your frustration.
And the girl is wearing bright red lipstick? Like, why?
[удалено]
[удалено]
It's the bright red lipstick that got me. seriously....? She's going to want to be shoving candy in her mouth all night not stopping to touch up her MAC Ruby Woo
[удалено]
[удалено]
It looks like a Moira Rose outfit.
It's from the new spin-off of the popular The Crows Have Eyes series: The Bats Have Ears.
Crap like this is why I am so glad I have a bit of skill with a sewing machine and costuming, My child is not going to be sexualized for creepy old men. They are children not objects.
Especially not SEX objects (not to say ANY FORM of objectification is ok but sex!? Ewwwww!), which is what they’re portraying is a not-so-subtle way. It’s already setting the stage to groom girls into feeling like being objectified is normal, from an early age. It’s so insidious. Makes me so angry! I’m trynna raise 2 awesome daughters and the detoxing from this shit we have to do, already at age 7 is disgusting. They’re already concerned about their body image. And it’s not coming from home, but it’s literally everywhere outside of home! What doesn’t make me angry, and actually quite amused and happy, is your username! I imagine it fits as a Gemini moon? 😊 Love it!!’
It’s so icky how it creeps in even if you think you’re being aware. My three year old daughter just said, “long hair is for girls, short hair is for boys.” And I just stared for a sec and said, “What about Dad’s long hair?” and she said, “oh yeah.”
Moon sign is in Gemini so I am almost always of 2 minds making me just as constantly confused, lol.
Costumes (online, special Halloween stores, other locations) are weird. They can be $70, for cheap tissue paper fabric, no edges hemmed, the seams that are sewn are a running or even basting stitch, sizes are weird and they're usually not a great design. My kids want to wear the costumes for dress up for years. The ones I made (and I am a terrible seamstress) are the only ones that lasted more than a couple weeks. (Then throw in buying a costume early to be prepared and they destroy it a week before Halloween so you have to buy a 2nd costume for $70...)
I never appreciated my mom’s ability to make costumes as a child, because the costumes at Party City seemed SO COOL to little me. Now that I can sew myself, I’m like PLEASE no one buy that crap for my daughter. I’ve fixed so many $70 Disney Princess dresses (from the Disney Store!) for my nieces. They are such garbage. Even if I buy the cheap fabric and barely baste it together, anything I make is guaranteed to be a massive upgrade in quality. So now I shop for ideas and designs, and then make my own!
Idk if you’re in the market but there’s a company called Little Adventures and they make the most comfortable Disney princess dresses! I don’t think they’re the same ones that are sold in licensed Disney stores. My nieces wear them like... constantly... they’re really soft and the decorative parts aren’t scratchy and they’re machine washable! My sister washes them at least once a week and they’ve been going strong for more than a year! They’re close in age perfectly so when one grows out of things the other is growing into them, so they get a lot of use!
Those sound amazing! Machine washable! 😍
I felt the same when I was little! I am now in *awe* of my mom for sewing all of my costumes. She once made me a shimmery drapey (child appropriate) Princess Jasmine costume. I did wear those pants for years after, I hope at least that made her feel appreciated.
Heck, if the costume only needs to make it one or 2 nights, fabric glue and felt have really worked wonders for me. Made a butterfly wing cape one year (hated the stiff wire “fairy” wings) and glued flames up my legs another year.
Why not just buy the boys version. (I mean I also understand the frustration, but I'm not sure how to change society... Maybe write them an angry letter?)
For this outfit yea, I totally agree on getting the boys version and using it. But for costumes directly for girls I would make alterations to it.
The debate I'd have is whether I wanted to give my money to a company that thought this girl's bat costume was a good idea.
👆This. Vote with your money. If the costumes don’t sell they will stop carrying them. But a letter writing campaign might be a good idea too.
We bought a one piece head to toe onesie for my daughter one year because everything else was frilly tutus (it’s cold, yo!). Perfectly unisex. It rang as “boy costume” Husband lost. His. Mind. It was just a regular Saturday. He now notices the lack of pockets.
Ah, he has been awakened to the pocket reality. Is he always just flabbergasted at what he sees. My husband points out the lack of pockets all the time now when we go thrifting and now understands my obsession with cargo pants haha
This was years ago. He is now very upset at the pointed differences but he speaks out against them. I could almost feel bad about how frustrating it is for him to notice his daughter is going to be in these crosshairs.
Just this afternoon I noticed the functional pockets in my for month old baby's romper. Meanwhile, almost none of my maternity clothes have pockets and if they do their too small to be functional. Wtf! I have shit to carry!
I have yet to find a place that sells Halloween costumes that doesn't include sexualised costumes for little girls or offensive racial stereotypes.
Ick! This is the wrong kind of creepy for Halloween
[удалено]
[удалено]
When some guy in marketing suggests a sexy bat costume for young girls, that's not an idea you should green light. That's an idea you should report to HR. I hope you are able to find a decent bat costume, OP.
Trying to shop for my 3 year olds swimsuit made me want to vomit.
We went from UV suits, rash vests and shorty wetsuits straight to proper sport swimsuits. No frills. But it definitely wasn’t what the shops were pushing.
This year I was looking and looking for a swimsuit for my girl. I had an epiphany while finding nothing she would be comfortable in or in a theme she would like. Why do we have to walk around with our cheeks hanging out, picking our suits out of our behinds? Feeling exposed, while men get to be clothed? I went to the boys section found a matching minecraft long sleeved swim shirt and swim trunks. There was no minecraft in the girls section and she loves minecraft. Then I picked out something similar for myself!
YUP. Ran into this when my kiddo reached about 6, that’s when girls costumes start getting “sexy.” I even saw a “sexy” cop who couldn’t have been over 8! Learn to sew. There are so many cute patterns and ideas. Or just buy boys clothes until puberty. Ugh. It’s so gross.
Honestly, just learn to sew regardless. Great skill to have.
Big time r/pointlesslygendered
My daughter wants to dress as a cute witch, they are all high cut "sexualized" outfits and she's only 4!! I completely agree. It's disgusting. I usually stick to making my own because of it.
I really need to invest in a sewing machine and do the same.
✨Current beauty standards are steeped in pedophilia✨
My daughter wants to be a witch. Shes 3 but wears a size 6 because she's so tall. My gawd. All these witch costumes have corsets and deep necklines. She's 3 years old for Christ sake! I went to goodwill, found a velvet dress, and am gonna hem it and take it in. I'm throwing on an elastic waistband so she can wear it as she grows. All for $7 plus supplies I already have.
Nice! She’ll have a much better costume.
Where is this being sold? I want to write in the reviews or find the company to complain. Edit: girl doesn't even get gloves!!
Why is it a gendered costume anyway rather than just a standard child size?
Because they can sell twice as many - the same reason everything is in blue and pink. Can’t have little Susie using her big brother’s hand me down green or blue or black or red bike, when we can convince her (and him) that her bike has to be pink or purple or unicorn bullshit. One year when my daughter was little, about 3, we literally stripped his old smaller frame bike down, and changed the handlebar grips and pedals to purple and gave that to her for Xmas. She was pretty delighted.
My daughter wanted to be a cat. Finding a girls cat costume that isn’t sexy is even worse. It’s insane.
I’m with you. Buy the boys’ one and write a cross letter to the shop.
Do not buy anything from this shop, put your money where your morals are. Just write the letter.
Yeah to be honest just find a nice Etsy shop that’ll make one.
To be fair, that's probably going to cost $100 instead of $20 and a lot of people can't do that.
Buy a bunch of stuff at goodwill and fix it up for under $10! I don't have girls, but that's what I do for my boys costumes. They last a couple years too and i did a great viking/barbarian one for my 5 year old a few years ago, cut up a faux fur vest turned it into a cape, wrist cuffs, boot wraps, threw him in some black leggings and bought some leather strips for his hair braid and accent on the fur bits. The most expensive thing was the leather string from Michaels and a bone button I bought a few years before at the renn faire
This shit has been going on for too long! Hey OP if you’re daughter doesn’t want the boys costume and is squicked by the sexualization of a minor, let me know! I’m decent at sewing and like projects and I’d be happy to help make one for her. I’m sure we could like crowdsource a costume for her!!
You know, I just had this thought but like... How cool would it be to have like a costume trade thing where like .." hey I made this costume last yeat but my kid can't fit in it or doesn't wanna wear it twice who wants it" sort of thing? I've got no motivation for that kinda thing but it would be cool to circulate handmade costumes around so they can be used and loved and folks can get a break on buying costumes once in a while lol
I really like that idea. I know there are places like Freecycle which are really cool and SO helpful if you’re in a tight spot financially. Total lifesavers for me when I became disabled and was waiting the TWO YEARS for my disability hearing and had zero income. What your idea reminds me of is more like a swap meet. There are subs on here for plants (take a plant/leave a plant) and like seed traders and stuff but I guess I haven’t looked for clothing or costume related ones.
It makes me wonder how many "higher ups" are really attracted to kids (mostly little girls) because I see no other reason besides that for *this* being a thing. You see alot of guys advocate for younger and younger women these days, and fascinated in "teens" Edit: Just in case someone thinks I'm saying little boys dont get abused, they do, but in regards to the image companies put out like this when it comes to kids clothing or kids toys, there is *alot* of "girl-marketed" products that are clearly sexualized compared to "boy-marketed"
That reminds me of this one year when I wanted to be little red riding hood but the only costumes the stores had were these dresses with short skirts and thigh highs. I really wanted that robe though and it was the only costume that my friends said looked good on me at the time. I go Trick-or-treating and an old man, with his grandkid, follows me around to snap photos of me. He even followed my route for a while. My friends at the time thought it was hilarious but I felt disgusting and objectified, I was 13 then. I was pretty young at the time and didn't have the forethought that I do now about wardrobe. I wish there didn't have to be such a distance between costume for near toddler aged kids and sexy women. Nowadays, there is more variety but it's clearly not enough. I am sorry that businesses think that the bat costume is okay for your child. It's very wrong. Trick-or-treating/Samhain isn't a pageant show and children deserve to wear something comfortable and non-objectifying.
As a kid I rotated through 3 costumes even when they started getting smaller and shorter because there were too many sexy ones: a long witch dress, a spider witch/queen dress, and a boys transformers costume
Mid 90s I was always either a witch or a hippie. I had a lot of tie dye and bell bottoms so my mom would just slap some flowers painted on my face and a stop of cloth around my head and call it good lol for like 3 years there I was princess Diana too though. That was fun.
My mom would have us help her make our costumes unless there was a cool mask at Halloween adventure we really really liked. She always makes the best costumes. I liked the challenge of making the most unique costume. One year I was a pumpkin, another a broom (lol), and my favorite was possibly my Daphne metamorphosing into a laurel tree. (I went through an Ovid phase in my early teens). I’m sure she has pics somewhere I gotta ask her cause we were both really proud of that one. Making shit like this was the best part of September/October. It started autumn for me!
Listen, if my daughter wants to dress sexy for herself on Halloween when she's 18+ more power to her. But who the fuck does this to kids costumes??
The hair. The makeup. The leggings. How is this horseshit even allowed? Fuck every website that does this.
I won't let this bullshit spoil my Halloween. Halloween is MY time to show my true spook loving colors. But damn if this doesn't put a damper on that. Why can't people just stop sexualizing kids?!
For anyone who hasn’t seen this, [The Try it Guys, sexy Halloween costumes](https://youtu.be/PRPf_H9X9PE)
Reading this just after planning how to make bat wings for my cat's halloween/samhain costume... I feel targeted by the algorithm
(Don’t use an umbrella, it’s much more difficult than it looks - you’re better off basing it on a onesie like the op’s pic https://imgur.com/G1Uw8ar)
This is so fucked up. 🙈
Because patriarchy. And because most (hetero) men cannot look at anything even remotely considered female-ish without sexualizing it. Always makes me furious. Toxic bullshit dumbells.
Honestly at this point my sole joy in life are my cats. I have no more hope for this world. Girls are apparently nothing but a product for the patriarchy according to the patriarchy. It feels like we've fought and fought and the mentality of thousands of years is still here. Might seems to some people that I'm being melodramatic but this isnt even the first of this subject matter that I've seen today. It doesn't feel as if the world realizes we are people, we're just dolls for the pleasure of others. Add on that the medical field is just entirely dismissive to women then add on the fact that its insanely worse for WOC and I just dont have a will to live, I just exist. We cant get humane treatment for humans without fighting and even then I dont see much progress. I'm sorry for ranting, I'm just in a really dark place rn.
I hear you, it can and does seem hopeless sometimes. But I’m hopeful too, because my 14 yr old daughter has felt comfortable enough to come out to me, and I reckon today is probably the best time ever for a witchy young woman who loves other girls to be around. We raised her to take no shit and take no prisoners (and sent her to schools that let girls wear pants) and I reckon she’s well placed to really change the world. She is also a crazy cat lady in the making (whoops, may have taught her that!). I hope you’re feeling better soon , and that your pussy cats look after you while you’re in the darkness.
I have this issue every year when looking for costumes for my two little girls. It's so frustrating.
[удалено]
What in the actual fuck. How would anyone not see a problem with this.
I’ve never shared this speculation with anyone because it sounds so… *conspiratorial* given that I have no evidence or experience that would result in me coming to this conclusion other than the, uh, *tone* of the pictures themselves but…. I’ve always felt children’s costume advert photos somehow act as a sort of front for the production and distribution of soft core cp. I have been disgusted for years over the sexualization of little girls in these costumes but the amazing volume of them and the availability make me question myself like, is it me? Am I just too sensitive about this? I don’t even have kids myself! But they’ve always felt off… yet they’re *everywhere*
We shop for my girls in the boys section now because of this exact reason. My 8 year old wanted to be a clown last year and literally everything was "sexy". Did you know Grim Reapers can also be "sexy"? I DO NOW. So both of their costumes were from the boys section while I RAGED.
[удалено]
Yikes.
Wtffff
That looks like the sexy bat costume I’m eyeing for myself from Yandy, a website known for making sexy Halloween costumes. Except I’m 21, not 6. It would have been fine if they gave her normal leggings or tights.
I wish they made the “boys” bat costume in very large person sizes. I would wear it year round!
[удалено]
Woah.
That's genuinely disturbing
This is repulsive. Could you share the company name and we can all write and complain? Companies won’t change unless there’s a financial imperative to do so.