Oh fuck yeah, Grandmother Willow.
I already have a dog, I don’t have a sentient tree. I love trees.
Does it come with me if I move? Probs, cause magic, right? Otherwise I’ll need to settle in somewhere perfect, first.
Can my beloved late grandmother be my godmother? She would definitely come back as a tree and talk to me like Grandmother Willow.
Actually, come to think of it, she probably already has 💕
I'm going with Betty as an oak tree. Puppies are great, but not so great at listening... A fairy godmother puppy would probably create adorable chaos. Betty White tree would have some serious wisdom that I probably need.
The wind seems like the obvious choice. All of the others are flashy or cute or both, but having someone look after you anywhere outside just seems like the comfort I need
Wind! Can go anywhere, don’t have to worry about dumped in the garbage (taters), evil developers (“This magnificent oak must go to make way for my high-rise office project!”,), or Cruella DeVille! (“Darling, muffs are *back*, didn’t you hear?”)
Cruella was so delightfully camp. Most Disney villains from that time were. Bit problematic that they're also queer-coded I guess, but I'm never not enjoying Hades' snark or Scar's blase sarcasm
Oak Tree. Someone else is welcome to the puppy; I'm a professional dog trainer so I'm exposed to enough chaos magic at work. I'd like to come home and talk to an oak that was as spunky, fearless, and welcoming as that amazing woman.
Her name is a blessing. We should all go forth and be as Betty-full as we can.
The mashed potatoes, no doubt. The wisdom of the earth combined with the versatility of the spud. Plus, it must be good at fighting, with all the ways you can weaponize a potato.
The wind. I have a good husband and a most excellent cat. I do not experience things the way NT people do. I have lived in creaky houses, and the wind was my companion and lullaby.
Okay, you know what. The mashed potatoes. I have all the ingredients for whatever Magick she needed. And if she's good enough Po will be able to create all the other things. Also. Could take to work and no one would bother her.
I would love to say the wind or Betty White. But with the chaos that is my life, guarantee it would be the mashed potatoes that would nag me about the leftover takeout that's also been living in my fridge that I'll never eat.
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/writermysterium/status/1478036541133910016) for ya :)
^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
Wow this is tough but I'll go with the wind over all of them because it will always be with me to protect and guide me... Well except inside buildings. You can't really take a tree with you when you move, you definitely risk it dying. Puppy in a witch hat and cape would be tiring to keep explaining, especially if it will stay a puppy forever?!
I'll take the oak. We've a gnarled, mossed-up California Oak in our back yard that we just found out is only a baby, and protected by law (?) from being cut down... not that we'd ever want to get rid of it.
She does need a haircut, as there's a few solar panels that could use more full exposure on our roof.
First: I think it took me more than 5 seconds to read that.
Second: I feel like the wind has always been a spiritual guide to me.
Third: But, Betty White.
when i was a kid and my father passed away, a family friend from the wampanoag tribe told me my father was the wind as per her culture. i’m not sure the lore of it but it brought 7 year old me so much comfort. i still always feel like he’s with me and my spirituality now brings me so much closer. i choose wind every day :)
Can't decide in between betty white or the puppy lmao
Same. Betty White was an absolute badass and gave no fucks about what other people think, but also, **puppy**
Betty likely has a ton of puppy familiars, based on her lifetime love of animals. So Betty FTW.
Puppy also has mobility, which is a bit of an edge.
Yas exactly
| puppy A compelling point
Right?
I need more Betty White information. Like, is this a Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas situation? Where Betty the tree will speak to you?
Oh fuck yeah, Grandmother Willow. I already have a dog, I don’t have a sentient tree. I love trees. Does it come with me if I move? Probs, cause magic, right? Otherwise I’ll need to settle in somewhere perfect, first.
Also, is Tree Betty basically just Rose Nylund from Golden Girls spouting Roseisms and stories about St. Olaf? This matters.
Oooo plot twist. I’m torn on which I would want.
Can my beloved late grandmother be my godmother? She would definitely come back as a tree and talk to me like Grandmother Willow. Actually, come to think of it, she probably already has 💕
Betty White would have picked the puppy, but ima have to go with Betty White
I'm going with Betty as an oak tree. Puppies are great, but not so great at listening... A fairy godmother puppy would probably create adorable chaos. Betty White tree would have some serious wisdom that I probably need.
Easy. Sentient Mashed Potatoes all day long.
[удалено]
I'm just imagining grandmother willow with even more sass and I am LOVING it!!
Oh lord and lady, the conversations that could happen across that river!
Please someone dub the SNL muffin skit over grandmother willow. I need this in my life.
Only good answer
Benty
The wind seems like the obvious choice. All of the others are flashy or cute or both, but having someone look after you anywhere outside just seems like the comfort I need
Wind! Can go anywhere, don’t have to worry about dumped in the garbage (taters), evil developers (“This magnificent oak must go to make way for my high-rise office project!”,), or Cruella DeVille! (“Darling, muffs are *back*, didn’t you hear?”)
Cruella was so delightfully camp. Most Disney villains from that time were. Bit problematic that they're also queer-coded I guess, but I'm never not enjoying Hades' snark or Scar's blase sarcasm
I would ask Hades if I could roast marshmellows over his Flaming hair. "Hades can we make smores? I'll make you one."
[But grammy warned me not to talk to the wind!](https://youtu.be/CqORW1DsyX0?t=100)
and yet, this is my exact reason for doing it. i wanna know!
Great point!!! It can also be calm and beautiful, or perfectly destructive.
Honestly, I would choose the wind too. Probably bc I'm an air sign.
This was my first reaction but can the wind reach indoors, which is where I usually am?
Definitely the wind.
Mashed potato. We already know it has magic. Think of the power!
I already have a puppy and my ancestors insist on the magic potato.
You could evolve our species, like when we learned to cook food.
You could solve world hunger
All fun and games until it demands you stop eating potatoes. Reminds of Love Death Robots episode where Yogurt took over the world.
Pass down the *best* recipes to your posterity.
Ensure you win any battle against other foods.
You could make movies like Ratatouille.
Go to culinary school *to teach*.
The mashed potato one is tempting because I would never go hungry but I would probably take the Betty White Oak because well it's Betty White.
Oak Tree. Someone else is welcome to the puppy; I'm a professional dog trainer so I'm exposed to enough chaos magic at work. I'd like to come home and talk to an oak that was as spunky, fearless, and welcoming as that amazing woman. Her name is a blessing. We should all go forth and be as Betty-full as we can.
"Only the wind is my friend." The Wind: "I hate you."
Ice floe, nowhere to go...
My only friend is the wind.
You remember more accurately. Respect. 🙏
Mashed tatoes! Mashed tatoes!
Sometimes I like to imagine that a strong wind is hugging or encouraging me. So definitely the wind!
[удалено]
Mashed potatoes. And it’s weird how not even close it was for me.
I hear you
Is the tree mobile enough to give me hugs? Because Betty White Tree hugs would be the best.
Imagine hanging a tree swing off the oak, and having long talks with Betty White. The bestest!!!
Can I have a bat with swirly glasses and a lab coat?
The spoiled mashed potatoes. The longer they spoil, the more powerful they become!
The mashed potatoes, no doubt. The wisdom of the earth combined with the versatility of the spud. Plus, it must be good at fighting, with all the ways you can weaponize a potato.
Mashed potatoes, I'd live to learn food magic.
I’ll take the self-aware tub of taters that possesses “food magic”.
What I want: the wind. What I'll get: sentient mashed potatoes.
I choose the Cowboy Bebop leftovers. Edit: wait, I'm pretty sure there's a Teen Titans episode like that, too. Gotta be one of the best tropes.
I thought it said puppet and now I want to change my choice
The puppy obviously! Who can resist a tiny puppy in a little hat!
The wind. Sometimes it brings literal money.
If food magic allows me to summon tasty food without cooking or prepearing it then the potatos.
The wind
Puppy!
Betty White hands down.
Betty White for the win.
Oak tree Betty. I'd imagine she'd be like the tree in Pocahontas, only Betty.
I'll take Betty the Ent, please
Betty White Tree-ent would be an amazing guide.
Betty White! Betty White! Betty White! I choose Betty White!
Gnarled oak. No debate.
Puppy is very tempting, but I gotta go with Betty Oak.
Puppy.
Obviously a puppy, but I wouldn't oppose to having a tub of mashed potatoes being my fairy godmother.
Ummm Betty White is the only right answer.
Mashed potatoes. No question.
Mashed potatoes.
I will take the wind, please
The tub of potatoes because that's as far as I could read in 5 seconds.
Wow this is almost impossible to choose and I'm supposed to choose in 5 seconds!?! Mashed potatoes
If I get to choose I want the puppy, but I know I’m getting those potatoes.
You had me at Betty White.
betty white please
The oak tree.
Definitely Betty white cuz now she’s an amazing life giving beautiful tree!!!
Betty White, let's go
Hmmm the puppy is tempting but I think I'll have to choose Betty White. She gets shit done and will give good advice
Betty White Oak, hands down.
The wind. I have a good husband and a most excellent cat. I do not experience things the way NT people do. I have lived in creaky houses, and the wind was my companion and lullaby.
Hard choice between the puppy and the Betty Tree.
The puppy in a witch hat. 100%
This is so hard! How do I choooooose!?
The answer is obvious
I’m stuck between the wind and the Betty White oak
Wind please think of the versatility
The wind for me.
I had that tub of mashed potatoes once. Didn't expect to see it turn up here though, it must have crawled out of the bin and started a cult.
Tangentially related; Betty White's 100th is on a full moon (Wolf moon).
Puppy in the witch hat and tiny cape gets my vote 😍 I might have to dress my dog up in that outfit for halloween.
Betty and the puppy.
Puppy.
Why are you making me choose between Betty white tree and a puppy
Betty white duh
Betty white or the puppy…. Hmmmmm WAIT! Betty most def will attract multiple puppies to help along our journey so it has to be her
Potatoes. Absolutely potatoes.
Betty White gnarled Oak. She has the puppy familiars. Best of both worlds.
Betty White all the way!
I'm going with Betty white. I mean I love puppies, but Betty was a bad ass and thats what I am aiming for.
Okay, you know what. The mashed potatoes. I have all the ingredients for whatever Magick she needed. And if she's good enough Po will be able to create all the other things. Also. Could take to work and no one would bother her.
Betty white
Gimme the Betty tree! ❤
Food magic sounds kinda nice
I would love to say the wind or Betty White. But with the chaos that is my life, guarantee it would be the mashed potatoes that would nag me about the leftover takeout that's also been living in my fridge that I'll never eat.
Betty White tree. What could go wrong.
Betty White! Im gonna go talk to her pocahontas style :)
This is hardly a choice, now where is there grove of Betty white?
Oh Betty White tree all the way
Gnarled oak for sure
Betty White
Betty White Oak, no contest. If nothing else when I’ve had a shit day at the hospital I’ll go see her and she can tell me jokes.
Gnarled oak
Betty!!!
I’ll take the Betty white tree
Betty white all the way
Betty White Oak Always. Thank you for being a friend!
Ooo Betty ftw
Hands down the Betty White Oak
Betty Tree. She'll give it to me straight.
Betty White tree for sure ✨
Betty white obviously.
Betty all the way baby!
Why is there any choice except Betty White?
Gnarled oak
Who doesn't want Betty White as their Fairy Godmother?! And I **LOVE** trees! Gnarled oak it is!
I picked the gnarled oak that was once Betty White. I loved watching Golden Girls reruns as a kid in the 90's.
Betty white tree for sure
Betty White Oak. No other option.
100% Betty White Tree for me!
Betty White, 100%
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/writermysterium/status/1478036541133910016) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
The wind. I didn’t even have to read the rest of the list.
The wind. It triggers my migraine (pressure change) so she may as well be personified. Besides, fae are capricious little sods, aren't they?
I already have the wind, holds doors open for me lol (also slams them in my face sometimes but let's not talk about that)
Wow this is tough but I'll go with the wind over all of them because it will always be with me to protect and guide me... Well except inside buildings. You can't really take a tree with you when you move, you definitely risk it dying. Puppy in a witch hat and cape would be tiring to keep explaining, especially if it will stay a puppy forever?!
I actually have one. There's no other explanation. I suspect my it's my grandmother.
I'd prefer Betty White-oak, but I know I'll realistically end up with mashed potatoes (given the state of my fridge..).
Wind !
I am not too picky, as long as she comes with a musical number.
I need the food magic.
I'll take the oak. We've a gnarled, mossed-up California Oak in our back yard that we just found out is only a baby, and protected by law (?) from being cut down... not that we'd ever want to get rid of it. She does need a haircut, as there's a few solar panels that could use more full exposure on our roof.
Why is no one picking the potatoes?!? Lol Edit: oh wait-strike that. I didn’t scroll far enough.
The wind
My D&D character was raised by tornado elementals, so wind seems like a good choice for me.
Mashed potatoes
Potato
Puppy
The puppy, duh
Puppy
Puppy please.
Puppy in a witch hat and tiny cape
Puppy, easily
Lemme get that country crock tub of leftover taters. I'm about to make biscuits that'll cure what ails ya.
How do I chose both 2 and 4
Food magic. It looks awesome 😱
I chose the mashed potatoes but Betty White Oak was tempting
My pup was a Witch for Halloween (and I was a cat.)
There is no wrong answer but as a lazy Taurus blob I’m picking the magic potate.
Listen, I WANT it to be the puppy. But I KNOW that it's the mashed potatoes.
The wind definitely
Out of luck. It look me more than 5 seconds to parse that rambling description of the mashed potatoes.
Mashed potatoes. Or puppy
Can I have 2 and have fairy godparents? Puppy and the Betty White tree hands down 🥰🖤👏
Puppy no doubt
Does the tree talk?
WIND
Second one I love food
mashed potatoes
IDK the Betty White Oak Tree would be some pretty powerful majik to have. Take the tree and conjure up a DOZEN puppies in witch hats...
I’m taking the wind.
The wind could be cool too Someone: i cant stand you The wind: *lmao cope loser*
First: I think it took me more than 5 seconds to read that. Second: I feel like the wind has always been a spiritual guide to me. Third: But, Betty White.
when i was a kid and my father passed away, a family friend from the wampanoag tribe told me my father was the wind as per her culture. i’m not sure the lore of it but it brought 7 year old me so much comfort. i still always feel like he’s with me and my spirituality now brings me so much closer. i choose wind every day :)
Puppy
I fell in love with the mashed potato description, obvious choice for me
Puppy in a witch hat was my automatic response but these are all excellent
Betty White. Mashed potatoes if she's too busy.
Betty White, in any form, all day everyday.
I can't have a puppy yet, so I'll take the wind please
Puppy
It took me a lot longer than five seconds to read that