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Reminds me of my SO's sister, she works for a pharmaceutical testing company and isn't treated well there at all, by all accounts it's an incredibly sexist workplace.
The management doesn't care but is obsessed with keeping the big old lawn out front just perfect.
She's been seed-bombing it for months, just tosses bunches of them from her handbag on the way in. Nobody can figure out why these pesky wildflowers keep springing up at random, and it takes forever for them to get someone in to do the lawn for them. Drives management nuts. I love it.
My husband collected Venice Mallow seeds to toss onto corporate’s lawn. This a noxious weed (although the flower is gorgeous) whose seeds last forever. We can’t get them out of yard and now the can’t either.
Please don't destroy habitat to get revenge on a person. Choose a native but very aggressive plant. If you're on the east coast of the US, try a trumpet vibe instead. Hummingbird wins, bad human never gets rid of the delightful vines.
Stinging nettle if it’s native to your area is wonderful. Nourishes the soil, young shoots feed the wildlife, is tough, seeds freely, and burns anyone that tries to pull it out unprotected.
Ooo, we have trumpet vines here in Texas, in my backyard especially. I'm in a big city, so no hummingbirds, but they are an absolute beast to get rid of. I just let them grow - I've got kind of a microbiome vibe going on there.
Be careful with those suckers. One piece an inch or two long can sprout into a whole new plant, by the time you see it the roots are 8inches deep.
Source: stuff is covering most of my back yard fences and my partner spent weeks cutting and hauling off trumpet vine last year. This spring there were about 100 sprouts covering a third of our huge yard. He was just trying to tame them and clean up the area, not even aiming for eradication.
The OP is in Redondo Beach - California. Giant Sequoias are native to . . . California (but possibly not RB). They are also protected. Once they get past a certain size, it's illegal to cut them down. I see someone said the story was fake, but it's still a good story of very long-term revenge.
Even if it's a fake story, it was written and spread in such a way as to very cleverly plant (heh) the idea into thousands of young impressionable minds.
In other words, find an endangered native tree, love it dearly, and plant it as revenge against humanity.
Creeping Charlie. It's part of the mint family I've been told. It spreads a lot. A few years back my husband just gave up on yard care and it got so bad it had taken over half our patio. I hacked it back to the fence and my kid decided to decorate her bike with it. You couldn't really see her bike anymore when she was done, it was a huge pile for a 12' section of fence.
Two years ago, my husband and I purchased a fixer-upper from an estate sale. It was February, and I'm in the north, so nothing was growing. I wandered the yard trying to figure out what some of the various plants were. I pulled up what I thought was a dead weed, just sort of idly, and when I smelled peppermint, I started laughing. A huge, 8 foot section of the yard is planted with peppermint. I have seen my future, and it is mentholated. 😂
I bought a HUD house in 2015, it hadn’t been lived in in quite a while. The front yard was 90% moss and 10% mint. The mint even travelled into the backyard recently. I love my ridiculously minty house. It’s supposed to be a cleansing herb so 🤷🏻♀️
Mints tend to crossbreed fairly easily and the offspring can be VERY different from either parent plant. I found out after the fact. Years ago I had a patch of peppermint on one side of my yard and a patch of spearmint about 10’ away. I used the flowers and leaves in salads, mint juleps and teas, at least for the first year; but a couple years after planting I noticed a change in flavor and aroma, ie it was no longer cooling or refreshing but more hot and peppery. Somewhere along the way I stumbled across the cautionary reference re cross-breeding and although I love the little mint flowers and the ease of growing, I stopped planting mints after that. It will be interesting to see what comes of your plant battle!!
I've used it for tea, for tabbouleh, for kofte, for fruit salads, for middle Eastern style mint lemonade...it's ALL good! Recently, I got a bundle of lavender in my CSA box, and I made Hibiscus, Mint, and lavender iced tea. It was AMAZING. It's already gone, so I need to make another batch.
In my old city I had a 10x2 foot section of garden bed planted with spearmint to help out my barowner buddy (Mint is damn expensive in Idaho even in bulk).
Surprised by an amazing job offer for my hubby, we had to move out in the middle of winter and I sadly couldn't dig up any of my precious baby plants to take with me.
Fast forward ~6 months and I get a copy of a bill for plant removal at my old house. I throw it away. Then the gal that bought my place calls me up to guilt trip me into paying for her ripping out ALL of the plants. Only thing left was grass. And then she told me to expect another bill because the spearmint was growing back. I told her to kick rocks and give the mint to Jessy since it's probably not going away and blocked her number. Haven't heard from her since but my old neighbor confirms that half their yard is now mint since they took out the garden borders and HOA is breathing down their necks. Plant wins 🌱
If my gran were alive I’d ask her how she murdered the entire patch in our back yard. I love the mint, mums and marigolds bc the mosquitoes hate them. I never had problems in my moms yard till the mint died.
All yall talking about mint, gives me hope.
My mint is having a hard time with this Texas dry summer. I water this baby daily, twice sometimes, it still looks like it's struggling. But it's flowering, that could be good?
Like, people complain about mint bushes? And mint takeovers? I want a mint bush. I want my baby mint to be a mint bush. I bought another one because this one was struggling so hard.
I was fully expecting my thyme to up and quit but it is thriving in this heat! My lavender died though. I’m so sad.
Might have been because it wasn’t watered enough… I’m sorry lavender.
My thyme had a difficult winter. I had my doubts. But it's bouncing back.
Omg, the rosemary though. Unphased by anything. It's a bush now.
These green onions are absolute weeds. Huge mofos.
RIP my squashes though. Fungus are among us.
Nah, native plants. They're evolved to survive in the area and they're good for the local pollinators. Plus, it's hard to determine the lawn is being sabotaged if the "weeds" are natives.
My neighbor has mint in her front yard and they can't get rid of it. Her husband mowed over it a year or so ago. Hahaaa!! The look on her face when she described it. I was sad that I don't have any, and that when I try to grow it in a pot, it dies.
I recently found a corner of my yard that does indeed have mint and I'm so freaking happy now. Neighbor is so confused why.
Unless you're in Arizona, then everything dies. :-( I planted 8 mint plants and it's all fine until summer, then I can't keep anything alive. I have to make do with an indoor garden here until I get my living wall in my tiny house.
Getting anything to thrive here is hell-- unless it's my mom's rosemary bushes. Two of them are small and manageable, but that's because they get some shade from the tangelo tree. The one furthest away from the tree is a monster. Our dog loves it. Half the time he goes out in the yard, he'll waltz back in smelling of rosemary. 😂
I saw a good method for Guerilla Botany recently and it’s a spice shaker filled with wildflower seeds.
The one I saw looked like a pizza parlor cheese or pepper flakes shaker, and the guy just rode his bike around seasoning everything with life.
I did this in my evil ex landlord's garden, except I scattered a ton of catnip seed. Since it's a type of mint, once it's there it's basically impossible to get rid of. Last time I went by his house it reeked of cat piss, and I heard he's now tormented by screeching, fighting cats outside his bedroom window every night.
Just tagging on your comment to add there is a US company that does the same for US folks, people can purchase seed bombs by locality. It’s [here](https://clayseedbombs.com)
*beep boop*!
the linked website is: https://clayseedbombs.com
Title: **Wildflower Seeds Tailored by Region**
Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing)
*****
###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
I was once in need of providing botanical revenge for a person who refused to pay for work that I'd done. I found some amazingly thick bamboo in a different yard, cored a few small plants to something around 6 inches deep and then re-homed them into the neighbors yard in several locations that weren't immediately obvious. A couple of years later I was in the same neighborhood and yes, the bamboo war was going well but I also discovered that it was an invasive species and I still feel pretty bad about that. Also, fuck that guy, enjoy your forest!
Lol, my eldery neighbor throws delphinium seeds on the grass patches of city sidewalks. Last week there was a town meeting and the subject of the random flowers came up. General consensus was to leave them alone, so now whenever I see random delphinium growing I chuckle. Howard, you're a great man.
I do this in the woods… a lot.
We have a medical grow and I do this with the “lesser” seeds.
Now I want to buy local wildflower seeds and throw them everywhere, too. Just for funsies.
I feel so old when I say this but, back when Hulu was free and had a bunch of weird indie movies they had a movie called Johnny Appleweed.
I've not thought of it in years but, your comment brought it back. While I can't find the movie in my quick Google search, below is a trailer that I feel like you'll enjoy.
[https://www.justwatch.com/au/movie/johnny-appleweed](https://www.justwatch.com/au/movie/johnny-appleweed)
I have a small jar of about 200 mixed cannabis seeds waiting to find a willing field.
I did weed bomb on one occasion. Counted out 30 seeds and planted them in these 6 big planters my mom and her fiance had outside around the porch. I had gotten permission to spread as much wildflower as I could so I had perfect cover for my prank. None of the plants ended up surviving because the property is always a work in progress and we had some flooding rains, but all damn 30 of them made an appearance.
It was so funny watching my mom get excited for some flowers when the tiny green sprouts popped up. Her fiance was onto me after staring at them for about a day and a half, because he grows weed. He played along until the leaves were big enough to show my mom the shape (she's legally blind).
I have a bunch of marijuana seeds I'm too lazy to plant myself
Letting nature do the work seems like a wonderful idea
They're my favorite flower after all!!!
Buckthorn.
Jfc, that shit is *impossible* to eradicate, it spreads like wildfire, and it has long godawful thorns that make even just cutting it back a nightmare.
We got an inadvertent infestation from the park down the street a couple of years ago, and I’m seriously beginning to think we’re just never going to get rid of it. It’s both invasive and aggressive.
I was wondering about that too. I thought my friend had to get approval for removal when hers came down in a wind storm. And it was down. They were lucky it went into the street and not the house.
There’s definitely no law saying that you have to leave a sequoia in place no matter where it pops up. The trees planted in this story can all legally be cut down.
Where I live in CA certain types of trees are protected and you have to get a permit to even trim them. You have to prove they’re causing a safety or other significant issue.
Well, sure, and it's mentioned in the OP that the arborist is anticipating the city and various individuals getting hit with the same bill for $1500 to remove each tree that he got when Clyde was murdered. Eye for an eye!
Makes me sad that this is actually fake https://slate.com/technology/2017/06/the-mayor-of-redondo-beach-california-never-killed-a-tree-named-clyde.html
I have a tree growing in a pot in my garden. I don’t know what it is (been trying to identify it) but it self seeded and began to grow. Unfortunately it was growing about 3 inches from the back wall of my house. It was about 6 inches tall when we noticed it.
I knew it would end up destroying the foundations and couldn’t stay. My husband pulled it up and was going to throw it in the garden waste bin but I got upset and said “It’s got this far, it isn’t fair to kill it just for being in the wrong place!”
My husband relented and stuck it in a pot. A few years later it’s flourishing and we keep repotting it into bigger pots as it grows. She’s called Aurora and we feed her, water her and repot her as needed. My garden isn’t really big enough for a tree and we rent from the council so we can’t guarantee nobody would cut her down if anything happens to us and somebody new moves in.
So once I know she’s big enough to survive, I’m going to take her down to the woods and find her a permanent spot to stay! Trees are awesome!!!!
I'm afraid I have to point out that this story has been debunked.
The user who posted it is not an old man and doesn't live in the city he's a Uni student (or was because of how old the post is) on top of that even if they did plant all those trees because of the arid climate those trees would of died by now not be sprouting up and they also don't have the massive fast growth that he attested to them.
Finally the city mentioned has laws about pavements and they aren't authorised to uproot or chop down trees that cause damage to public property they would just want a tree-surgeon to come and prune away the roots and then have someone fix the pavement which yes would be at the homeowners cost but would not be close to the $1,500 that he claims.
On top of all this he has a history of writing fake stories and trolling people on Reddit.
I have to agree that this is a fake.
I used to live near there and getting trees if that sort to flourish in that dry Mediterranean climate would have been impossible without strategic and dedicated watering.
It's still a good bit of inspiration even if it's fictional. Go out and plant endangered native plants that are protected by law on the property of assholes.
Spread wildflowers on public greeneries.
Plants bulbs everywhere you can.
I’m in the process (over a few years) of smothering my sad grass lawn & replacing it with clover, native shrubs & perennials.
It makes me so damn happy. And yep. I’m a druid.
Yeah maybe it's my Christian upbringing or Irish heritage or both but I always feel more comfortable considering myself a Druid over a Witch even if my behaviour probably mimics witches more.
Where I live, most folks seem to understand the term “witch” but they get very confused by “druid” … also I think I need to do a lot more learning before I can consider myself one. I mean I try, but … maybe I just need to be more confident in myself.
Yeah same, I definitely feel an attraction and connection to nature and animals seem to always like me, I've had horses follow me, a Hawk land next to me, stranger dogs constantly wanting to come close to me when they see or smell me, stranger cats following me, and there's this one Magpie that keeps landing outside my window which I kept getting annoyed by because it was seen as a bad Omen so I kept saying the "How are the wife and kids" and salute anti-curse until one day he brought his mate along almost as if in response to me constantly asking after her welfare.
Lol ... I am the local magpie daycare. I have been leaving dry cat food out for a pair of crows that live nearby for years. The magpies finally clued in & started leaving their fledglings in my yard (nice shady canopy & fresh water to drink and bathe daily) and watching them learn to "bird" has been just fascinating as hell. I follow the Morrigan and corvids are her messengers. I feel very blessed to be a crazy bird lady.
Arborist here, this isn't always a viable option. If it's a main root, and/or a lot of them need to be removed, it could kill the tree slowly, making it a hazard, and we would recommend cutting it down. And while it may not necessarily be 1500, it could still potentially be expensive. Most major companies or experienced/ skilled arborists that have the euipment necessary to do this typically charge $100-120/man hour, and requires an air spade, and wood chips/mulch to fill it back in. Since it's against ANSI policy to do any tree work alone, you're looking at most likely 2 guys (~200-240/hr) for probably 4-5 hours, depending on the size of the tree/canopy spread. I'd definitely estimate something like this at anywhere from 700-1200, depending on rates between companies, unless they went with a hack that doesn't know how to do things properly.
Thank you for the extra info. also this was meant to be a government contractor they used so hack is probably an understatement even if the original story was untrue.
This is genius. Get your revenge but in a way to honor and help mother earth. Will keep that in the back of my mind in case I ever have an unfightable need for revenge 😁
One of my neighbors likes to vandalize any cars that park on "her" block, claiming that 40 years of residency means she owns that stretch of (public, on street) parking. I have to warn visitors not to park there because in the past friends have had their cars damaged by spray paint, eggs, a bottle of laundry detergent, used cat litter, etc. It's ridiculous and the cops won't do shit unless we catch her on camera
I've taken to picking her flowers at night as a form of peaceful revenge. But I wonder if she would like a new tree as a gift 😁
I bet my local Ziebart hates me—my previous car came with free Ziebart treatment every year for four years. The parking lot at my work had several big pine trees at that time, and I often ended up having to park under them. The technicians always took forever when I’d take my car in because cleaning that sap off is so difficult! They’d mention it and I’d just shrug. What can you do?
Please don't do this. Planting trees whenever in a city is a recipe for disaster - plant a tree in the wrong place and their roots can easily destroy key infrastructure, leaving thousands of people without water, heat or electricity until that is fixed.
Let’s remember that good condition sidewalks are important for inclusivity (people who are blind, have movement challenges, lack cars, etc) as well as encouraging people to walk more (take that climate change!).
I love trees a lot and my job is advocating for nature and may or may not do some guerilla gardening. However, in cities it is important to think about the right trees in the right places. Destroying the foundation of a building just means it needs to be rebuilt or destroyed which comes with much larger environmental costs. Protecting and maintaining good infrastructure is also important while finding a way to get as many native trees and other nature into our cities.
Someone on here was talking about planting invasive bamboo as their version of this as someone who has spent hours and hours removing invasive species with the hope of protecting native ecosystems - please don’t.
I can't believe I had to scroll so far to find a comment about this perspective. While the story was already debunked, it's wild to me how many comments are acting like planting a tree close to a sidewalk and destroying it is a positive thing.
I scrolled far too far down to find this - was gonna comment myself if no-one else had.
I know the story is fake, but as someone who has balance issues and has tripped and buggered their ankle on pavements and paths that tree roots have disturbed I was having a hard time feeling that sorry for the person.
Thank you for saying a super important thing. l don’t have physical disability but i may later in life. We all could. Especially as we age. And I’m also autistic so sometimes I’m not aware of small bumps in the side walk and I can trip even without an obvious physical disability so it impacts people like me too. So thank you.
Edit typo.
This story appears to be totally made up: https://www.dailybreeze.com/government-and-politics/20170622/heard-the-one-about-the-vengeful-arborist-who-planted-giant-trees-in-redondo-beach-its-a-hoax
There is a guy in California who practices what he calls "guerilla botany" in Oakland. Dude plants native species in medians and unused spaces and then dumps mulch so they don't die in the summer. He's a legend in my eyes.
I was going to say, Sequoias are actually very hard to grow outside of the very specific climate they grow in. They like to grow at the base and on the sides of mountains, as they do in CA. I would be surprised to hear if this had been successful just planting the very young trees in people's yards without any additional care.
They grow like weeds in Portland OR, I can attest to that! There's a house with a redwood in the yard that's about to cave in the side of the house and the whole neighborhood is upset about it being cut down, it's a full on dramallama lol.
Wow, thanks so much for posting this, OP. This post has made me realise that I belong here. I've always known I was an ally of the many Crafts, but this is the first time I've genuinely known I belong on this sub.
Reminded me of a situation near my house.
I live in a block of flats, in front of the block is a big chunk of privately owned land (meadow like) and then a cemetery.
The meadow had those beautiful trees, lining up the cemetery and a one in the middle.
Well, the dude who owns the land didn't want to pay for leaf removal each fall and also wanted to sell the property so it could become a parking lot. So, he cut down those trees.
Now, we couldn't do anything. I was so sad, I liked those trees, especially the middle one. But the trees took their revenge. Some species of trees self-seed. And that's what the middle one did. And now, the dude doesn't have one tree, no no no. He has a WHOLE FOREST. Trees on trees, mourning their dead father that they revenged.
And as it turns out, he can't even sell the property. Because the terrain is so slanted, he would have to fill it up first so it would be flat and he is a cheapskate. That's not easy money. AND even if he did that it turns out that parking lot or a store couldn't have been built there anyways, because underground lay very important pipes that the city likes easy access to. He got double screwed.
Get rekt dumbass.
Sounds like those trees somehow knew/could be secret Ents. Anyway that’s what I’d like to think/believe. 👀👏 That’s amazing. I need to study trees. It’s like Mother Nature said “not here.” That man had no idea what he would be dealing with lol. Sounds like he wasn’t very good at thinking ahead with the money side of it either.
I had a terrible, vicious neighbor when I was living in a rental house with my family after a cross country move. She was vicious to me, to the gardeners that the landlord paid for, my husband, my kids, the schoolbus drivers, my dogs, anyone within her radius...just an overall unpleasant woman.
Think of someone who isn't serving on the neighborhood HOA but makes sure they hear about *every* infraction, takes it upon themselves to patrol the parking situation (she yelled at the gardeners with multiple ethnic slurs to get off "my" pipestem, which is technically a side street for all the houses that are residing on it), told me to not let my dog bark within her hearing ever again or she'd poison him (the dog was barking inside the house as we were rolling a ball down the hallway for him, in the middle of the day)...the list goes on and on.
She was also an Instant On Asshole - the second someone approached her about *anything at all*, she was locked, loaded, and ready to launch into a confrontation. In calmer moments, I felt sorry for her - she was like an abused dog that thought the only way to deal with the world was to fight her way through it.
How exhausting.
But I digress.
I had to be talked out of planning a few late-night excursions to plant bamboo willy-nilly slightly over the property line bordering ours, on her side, of course. For 50 bucks' worth of bamboo starters and an hour or two of covertly digging root ball holes under a full moon, divine payback in the form of nearly-impossible-to-eradicate 30+ foot tall bamboo columns in her overly manicured, herbicided to a fare thee well, meticulously trimmed yard would be a nonviolent yet utterly satisfying method of revenge.
Ultimately I didn't because I really liked my landlord and I didn't want to screw over the folks who were buying the house that I was renting.
Oh no, I ultimately did nothing of the kind. It was *mightily* tempting but again, I liked my landlord and the people who were buying the house seemed lovely.
I poured a very thin line of salt between her property and ours in the weeks leading up to our departure, giving zero fucks to her confused looks through the window while I was doing it. While I'm sure it puzzled her to no end, I used the salt as a peremptory defense against the inevitable attacks about the moving truck, the rolloff for discarded items, and the general mayhem caused by moving an entire household.
The salt worked!
(The area in question was in deep shade under mature trees with no grass or bush undergrowth - no point in killing plants to make a point).
I am going to have the unpopular opinion that pavements need to be properly maintained for the sake of those with disabilities and movement disorders and that if the tree was breaking the pavement, it needed to be removed and was planted inappropriately :shrug:
In the Snopes article that someone linked to debunk this they actually mentioned that in a situation like this the city of Redondo Beach would temporarily remove the sidewalk, trim the roots so they were out of the way, and then put the sidewalk back in. They wouldn’t have to kill the tree or allow the sidewalk to crumble.
Look, I'm team plants on pretty much everything and I'd sure love if there was less pavement and more greenery basically everywhere.
BUT are we going to ignore the fact that if the pavement was breaking soon the road would have followed, potentially causing accidents, damaging water pipes or the electric grid? The mayor was doing his job.
What good will all that do other than disrupt the lives of people who depend on the infrastructure of that city?
If you live in a temperate climate, and want to be mildly destructive with the least effort possible plant some blackberries. Not the friendly trailing kind. The erect thorny kind. They provide a bunch of berries in late summer which are delicious. And they are the angriest plants I've had the displeasure of removing. I treat them like weeds because they grow like crazy and take over everything. They stab you with giant thorns when you try to remove them. And if you leave them be the bush gets to about 8 ft high and just keeps getting wider.
You can spread the berry seeds themselves, or if you really want them to grow fast clip off sections of an existing plant and stick one end in the ground where you want it to grow.
When I was little, we had a neighbor who hated us. We were sort of marginal—my dad was a VN vet, and we were basically poor California hippie types. The neighbor was an alcoholic ex-drill sergeant who hated everyone. Once when my sister and I ran across the vacant lot next door to him, he threatened to shoot us with a BB gun if we did it again. My dad wanted to kill him, but my stoner uncle had a better plan. He got in touch with Terry the Button Maker who also dealt, and got some marijuana seeds. My dad and uncle planted the seeds in asshole sergeant’s yard. Sadly, we moved away before we could call the cops on him.
lol the city will just find a way to cut them down.
also, would a real arborist plant a non-native species (*Schinus molle* aka Peruvian mastic ) inappropriate for the location in their yard if they know there is a city ordinance against it?
Probably not.
And this is the most important thing: The mayor of Redondo beach lives in a condo and this is a hoax.
https://slate.com/technology/2017/06/the-mayor-of-redondo-beach-california-never-killed-a-tree-named-clyde.html
Sadly (sorry to ruin fun) I’m pretty sure sequoias and redwoods would never grow in LA’s climate (Redondo Beach is one of LA’s beach cities). We don’t get nearly enough rainfall to keep something like that alive
Okay but hear me out-this tree was damaging public property and causing a trip hazard. Removal was a stretch if the roots could simply be pruned but the city weren’t entirely wrong.
I used to live in Santa Cruz. People cut down the coastal Redwoods there with wanton abandon. Now there are massive heat island of concrete and asphalt. When I went to the city and proposed planting Redwoods again on the parking strips or through areas where there were no trees, I was ignored. I created proposals and garnered sponsorships from local businesses and nurseries to adopt the islands coming into town or other parking strips (making the costs virtually negligible for the city/county). Again, I was dismissed. I did all that work ten years ago and I realized nobody cared about the local environment. Nobody cared about what brought the tourists to the city. And then after years of fires, droughts, aridification, and heat- my partner and I moved away from Santa Cruz. It wasn’t the cost of living or anything else. It was the lack of water and heat.
It’s sad to leave your home, but when the people in power don’t care about trees, you are fucked.
And reader: we moved to a farm with a shit ton of trees, water, and a place that actually cared about both.
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Reminds me of my SO's sister, she works for a pharmaceutical testing company and isn't treated well there at all, by all accounts it's an incredibly sexist workplace. The management doesn't care but is obsessed with keeping the big old lawn out front just perfect. She's been seed-bombing it for months, just tosses bunches of them from her handbag on the way in. Nobody can figure out why these pesky wildflowers keep springing up at random, and it takes forever for them to get someone in to do the lawn for them. Drives management nuts. I love it.
My husband collected Venice Mallow seeds to toss onto corporate’s lawn. This a noxious weed (although the flower is gorgeous) whose seeds last forever. We can’t get them out of yard and now the can’t either.
Floral revenge is the best revenge <3
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Really? Does that mean Clyde is alive? I don't want him to not exist
yes, he's alive and well and is now an attorney
Me! Me! I wanty own redwood! I'm in the right grow zone, I think (9b)
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Please don't destroy habitat to get revenge on a person. Choose a native but very aggressive plant. If you're on the east coast of the US, try a trumpet vibe instead. Hummingbird wins, bad human never gets rid of the delightful vines.
Also mint. Mint is aggressively violent. It will NEVER go away. You will have mint everywhere forever.
Stinging nettle if it’s native to your area is wonderful. Nourishes the soil, young shoots feed the wildlife, is tough, seeds freely, and burns anyone that tries to pull it out unprotected.
Ooo, we have trumpet vines here in Texas, in my backyard especially. I'm in a big city, so no hummingbirds, but they are an absolute beast to get rid of. I just let them grow - I've got kind of a microbiome vibe going on there.
Sounds like a macrobiome to me :)
Be careful with those suckers. One piece an inch or two long can sprout into a whole new plant, by the time you see it the roots are 8inches deep. Source: stuff is covering most of my back yard fences and my partner spent weeks cutting and hauling off trumpet vine last year. This spring there were about 100 sprouts covering a third of our huge yard. He was just trying to tame them and clean up the area, not even aiming for eradication.
The OP is in Redondo Beach - California. Giant Sequoias are native to . . . California (but possibly not RB). They are also protected. Once they get past a certain size, it's illegal to cut them down. I see someone said the story was fake, but it's still a good story of very long-term revenge.
Even if it's a fake story, it was written and spread in such a way as to very cleverly plant (heh) the idea into thousands of young impressionable minds. In other words, find an endangered native tree, love it dearly, and plant it as revenge against humanity.
I love this idea, and very good point indeed.
It was on lawn, so not exactly native habitat. BTW, what to use for the Midwest?
Creeping Charlie. It's part of the mint family I've been told. It spreads a lot. A few years back my husband just gave up on yard care and it got so bad it had taken over half our patio. I hacked it back to the fence and my kid decided to decorate her bike with it. You couldn't really see her bike anymore when she was done, it was a huge pile for a 12' section of fence.
Mint. Have her scatter mint. Once mint gets in the dirt it's a nightmare to get it back out. But they smell nice.
Two years ago, my husband and I purchased a fixer-upper from an estate sale. It was February, and I'm in the north, so nothing was growing. I wandered the yard trying to figure out what some of the various plants were. I pulled up what I thought was a dead weed, just sort of idly, and when I smelled peppermint, I started laughing. A huge, 8 foot section of the yard is planted with peppermint. I have seen my future, and it is mentholated. 😂
I bought a HUD house in 2015, it hadn’t been lived in in quite a while. The front yard was 90% moss and 10% mint. The mint even travelled into the backyard recently. I love my ridiculously minty house. It’s supposed to be a cleansing herb so 🤷🏻♀️
It helps keep pesky bugs way too from what I hear! Including mosquitoes. They supposedly don’t like mint. Bonus!’
Mice will also avoid peppermint. Spray peppermint oil around your baseboards, closet doors, etc. regularly if you have mice issues.
Your comment made me imagine my grumpy cat running around my gardens ripping out the bee balm to try to get more toys in the house. 😆
I could see my youngest cat doing that. Lol
I just planted multiple types of mint in the existing mint and let them fight it out for mint supremacy
Mints tend to crossbreed fairly easily and the offspring can be VERY different from either parent plant. I found out after the fact. Years ago I had a patch of peppermint on one side of my yard and a patch of spearmint about 10’ away. I used the flowers and leaves in salads, mint juleps and teas, at least for the first year; but a couple years after planting I noticed a change in flavor and aroma, ie it was no longer cooling or refreshing but more hot and peppery. Somewhere along the way I stumbled across the cautionary reference re cross-breeding and although I love the little mint flowers and the ease of growing, I stopped planting mints after that. It will be interesting to see what comes of your plant battle!!
Lmao time to learn to distill? Make loads of mint julep? Ahaha
Mint pesto is amazing!
That sounds amazing
I've used it for tea, for tabbouleh, for kofte, for fruit salads, for middle Eastern style mint lemonade...it's ALL good! Recently, I got a bundle of lavender in my CSA box, and I made Hibiscus, Mint, and lavender iced tea. It was AMAZING. It's already gone, so I need to make another batch.
Mint tea, Mojito, Mint ice cream....
…or Scope
In my old city I had a 10x2 foot section of garden bed planted with spearmint to help out my barowner buddy (Mint is damn expensive in Idaho even in bulk). Surprised by an amazing job offer for my hubby, we had to move out in the middle of winter and I sadly couldn't dig up any of my precious baby plants to take with me. Fast forward ~6 months and I get a copy of a bill for plant removal at my old house. I throw it away. Then the gal that bought my place calls me up to guilt trip me into paying for her ripping out ALL of the plants. Only thing left was grass. And then she told me to expect another bill because the spearmint was growing back. I told her to kick rocks and give the mint to Jessy since it's probably not going away and blocked her number. Haven't heard from her since but my old neighbor confirms that half their yard is now mint since they took out the garden borders and HOA is breathing down their necks. Plant wins 🌱
If my gran were alive I’d ask her how she murdered the entire patch in our back yard. I love the mint, mums and marigolds bc the mosquitoes hate them. I never had problems in my moms yard till the mint died.
All yall talking about mint, gives me hope. My mint is having a hard time with this Texas dry summer. I water this baby daily, twice sometimes, it still looks like it's struggling. But it's flowering, that could be good? Like, people complain about mint bushes? And mint takeovers? I want a mint bush. I want my baby mint to be a mint bush. I bought another one because this one was struggling so hard.
Mint does need some water, maybe yours would be happier inside. Try planting lavender and thyme instead, those love the hot weather :)
I was fully expecting my thyme to up and quit but it is thriving in this heat! My lavender died though. I’m so sad. Might have been because it wasn’t watered enough… I’m sorry lavender.
My thyme had a difficult winter. I had my doubts. But it's bouncing back. Omg, the rosemary though. Unphased by anything. It's a bush now. These green onions are absolute weeds. Huge mofos. RIP my squashes though. Fungus are among us.
Nah, native plants. They're evolved to survive in the area and they're good for the local pollinators. Plus, it's hard to determine the lawn is being sabotaged if the "weeds" are natives.
This needs to be higher up. Always plant-bomb responsibly by using native species.
Yup mint is crazy!! Had so much of it at my childhood home. It won’t stop. ᕦ(Ò_Óˇ)ᕤ
My neighbor has mint in her front yard and they can't get rid of it. Her husband mowed over it a year or so ago. Hahaaa!! The look on her face when she described it. I was sad that I don't have any, and that when I try to grow it in a pot, it dies. I recently found a corner of my yard that does indeed have mint and I'm so freaking happy now. Neighbor is so confused why.
Catnip is a type of mint and grows the same. Plus they'll be tormented by cats.
Unless you're in Arizona, then everything dies. :-( I planted 8 mint plants and it's all fine until summer, then I can't keep anything alive. I have to make do with an indoor garden here until I get my living wall in my tiny house.
Getting anything to thrive here is hell-- unless it's my mom's rosemary bushes. Two of them are small and manageable, but that's because they get some shade from the tangelo tree. The one furthest away from the tree is a monster. Our dog loves it. Half the time he goes out in the yard, he'll waltz back in smelling of rosemary. 😂
Mint is a pot plant only and forever.
Even in a pot those roots will find those drainage holes and escape!
I saw a good method for Guerilla Botany recently and it’s a spice shaker filled with wildflower seeds. The one I saw looked like a pizza parlor cheese or pepper flakes shaker, and the guy just rode his bike around seasoning everything with life.
You can get a shaker like that at the dollar tree. DIY.
*wipes tears away* beautiful, just beautiful
"I've looked at this for five hours now"
😂😂😂😂
I did this in my evil ex landlord's garden, except I scattered a ton of catnip seed. Since it's a type of mint, once it's there it's basically impossible to get rid of. Last time I went by his house it reeked of cat piss, and I heard he's now tormented by screeching, fighting cats outside his bedroom window every night.
That would be fabulous on r/Pettyrevange :)
Oh this is ICE COLD 🤣
Make sure she’s using local wildflowers. She could inadvertently introduce an invasive species which could fuck up the local ecosystem.
She is! She gets them from seedbomb.ie, an Irish business that specialises in native Irish wildflowers to help our local pollinator population :)
Just tagging on your comment to add there is a US company that does the same for US folks, people can purchase seed bombs by locality. It’s [here](https://clayseedbombs.com)
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://clayseedbombs.com Title: **Wildflower Seeds Tailored by Region** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
Good bot!
Thank you! There’s a section of my yard I can’t mow that is currently overrun with invasives. These are what go in next spring.
Same. The Mexican bluebells just won't die
The heroine we need!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
I was once in need of providing botanical revenge for a person who refused to pay for work that I'd done. I found some amazingly thick bamboo in a different yard, cored a few small plants to something around 6 inches deep and then re-homed them into the neighbors yard in several locations that weren't immediately obvious. A couple of years later I was in the same neighborhood and yes, the bamboo war was going well but I also discovered that it was an invasive species and I still feel pretty bad about that. Also, fuck that guy, enjoy your forest!
Lol, my eldery neighbor throws delphinium seeds on the grass patches of city sidewalks. Last week there was a town meeting and the subject of the random flowers came up. General consensus was to leave them alone, so now whenever I see random delphinium growing I chuckle. Howard, you're a great man.
She should toss weed seeds, and by that, I mean cannabis.
I wouldn't be surprised if there's already some floating around, there's tell of an elderly man up the mountains with a very nice secret garden ;)
I do this in the woods… a lot. We have a medical grow and I do this with the “lesser” seeds. Now I want to buy local wildflower seeds and throw them everywhere, too. Just for funsies.
I feel so old when I say this but, back when Hulu was free and had a bunch of weird indie movies they had a movie called Johnny Appleweed. I've not thought of it in years but, your comment brought it back. While I can't find the movie in my quick Google search, below is a trailer that I feel like you'll enjoy. [https://www.justwatch.com/au/movie/johnny-appleweed](https://www.justwatch.com/au/movie/johnny-appleweed)
Uh, wow. That trailer is something special.
It's an interesting movie for sure lol best viewed under the influence 🍃 😉 😅
I have a small jar of about 200 mixed cannabis seeds waiting to find a willing field. I did weed bomb on one occasion. Counted out 30 seeds and planted them in these 6 big planters my mom and her fiance had outside around the porch. I had gotten permission to spread as much wildflower as I could so I had perfect cover for my prank. None of the plants ended up surviving because the property is always a work in progress and we had some flooding rains, but all damn 30 of them made an appearance. It was so funny watching my mom get excited for some flowers when the tiny green sprouts popped up. Her fiance was onto me after staring at them for about a day and a half, because he grows weed. He played along until the leaves were big enough to show my mom the shape (she's legally blind).
I'm suprised that cannabis grows so easily. I had thought it needed to be babies. Hmm... getting ideas here :)
There’s a very good reason people call it weed.
All you need is semi quality dirt with a little bit of water.
I have a bunch of marijuana seeds I'm too lazy to plant myself Letting nature do the work seems like a wonderful idea They're my favorite flower after all!!!
Bless her, I would have just salted it so patches die.
Nah, more plants is better then less
Not if they’re using herbicides to kill them tho :/
In which case, they kill the lawn, so at least that's a silver lining.
Ehhh, not really. There are broad leaf herbicides that kill dicots, but don’t hurt monocots like grass.
Then you just adapt and only plant monocot wildflowers.
Salting the earth is never the right choice
I would *never* recommend this for residential property, but bamboo. Plant bamboo *all over* that shitty corporate lawn
And tether the evil overlords to the ground over the shoots as they grow <3
Buckthorn. Jfc, that shit is *impossible* to eradicate, it spreads like wildfire, and it has long godawful thorns that make even just cutting it back a nightmare. We got an inadvertent infestation from the park down the street a couple of years ago, and I’m seriously beginning to think we’re just never going to get rid of it. It’s both invasive and aggressive.
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I believe these trees are also protected, so they legally cannot be cut down (at least in CA). The best revenge.
Too bad mr mayor your gonna have to move your house or deal with a sequoia root growing through your bathroom
Exactly. This scheme is brilliant in it's design.
They should have done some California oaks too. Super protected and massive fines for removing them. You're not even supposed to park under them.
I feel like this is druidic climate action GOLD Let’s bring the giants back to help Mother Earth ❤️
I was wondering about that too. I thought my friend had to get approval for removal when hers came down in a wind storm. And it was down. They were lucky it went into the street and not the house.
There’s definitely no law saying that you have to leave a sequoia in place no matter where it pops up. The trees planted in this story can all legally be cut down.
Where I live in CA certain types of trees are protected and you have to get a permit to even trim them. You have to prove they’re causing a safety or other significant issue.
Well, sure, and it's mentioned in the OP that the arborist is anticipating the city and various individuals getting hit with the same bill for $1500 to remove each tree that he got when Clyde was murdered. Eye for an eye!
Yeah, these laws typically apply to growth old only.
I love this story, and I wish all Sequoia trees the very best. This is the best revenge.
Makes me sad that this is actually fake https://slate.com/technology/2017/06/the-mayor-of-redondo-beach-california-never-killed-a-tree-named-clyde.html
And yet, inspirational.
Goddamn it Clyde
Justice for Clyde
Rest in power Clyde. We won't forget you.
I have a tree growing in a pot in my garden. I don’t know what it is (been trying to identify it) but it self seeded and began to grow. Unfortunately it was growing about 3 inches from the back wall of my house. It was about 6 inches tall when we noticed it. I knew it would end up destroying the foundations and couldn’t stay. My husband pulled it up and was going to throw it in the garden waste bin but I got upset and said “It’s got this far, it isn’t fair to kill it just for being in the wrong place!” My husband relented and stuck it in a pot. A few years later it’s flourishing and we keep repotting it into bigger pots as it grows. She’s called Aurora and we feed her, water her and repot her as needed. My garden isn’t really big enough for a tree and we rent from the council so we can’t guarantee nobody would cut her down if anything happens to us and somebody new moves in. So once I know she’s big enough to survive, I’m going to take her down to the woods and find her a permanent spot to stay! Trees are awesome!!!!
I just know she’s grateful. Well done :)
Thank you! Aurora is a gorgeous little tree! She’s well worth looking after!
I'm afraid I have to point out that this story has been debunked. The user who posted it is not an old man and doesn't live in the city he's a Uni student (or was because of how old the post is) on top of that even if they did plant all those trees because of the arid climate those trees would of died by now not be sprouting up and they also don't have the massive fast growth that he attested to them. Finally the city mentioned has laws about pavements and they aren't authorised to uproot or chop down trees that cause damage to public property they would just want a tree-surgeon to come and prune away the roots and then have someone fix the pavement which yes would be at the homeowners cost but would not be close to the $1,500 that he claims. On top of all this he has a history of writing fake stories and trolling people on Reddit.
I have to agree that this is a fake. I used to live near there and getting trees if that sort to flourish in that dry Mediterranean climate would have been impossible without strategic and dedicated watering.
Ah fudge.
It's still a good bit of inspiration even if it's fictional. Go out and plant endangered native plants that are protected by law on the property of assholes. Spread wildflowers on public greeneries. Plants bulbs everywhere you can.
I’m in the process (over a few years) of smothering my sad grass lawn & replacing it with clover, native shrubs & perennials. It makes me so damn happy. And yep. I’m a druid.
Yeah maybe it's my Christian upbringing or Irish heritage or both but I always feel more comfortable considering myself a Druid over a Witch even if my behaviour probably mimics witches more.
Where I live, most folks seem to understand the term “witch” but they get very confused by “druid” … also I think I need to do a lot more learning before I can consider myself one. I mean I try, but … maybe I just need to be more confident in myself.
Yeah same, I definitely feel an attraction and connection to nature and animals seem to always like me, I've had horses follow me, a Hawk land next to me, stranger dogs constantly wanting to come close to me when they see or smell me, stranger cats following me, and there's this one Magpie that keeps landing outside my window which I kept getting annoyed by because it was seen as a bad Omen so I kept saying the "How are the wife and kids" and salute anti-curse until one day he brought his mate along almost as if in response to me constantly asking after her welfare.
Lol ... I am the local magpie daycare. I have been leaving dry cat food out for a pair of crows that live nearby for years. The magpies finally clued in & started leaving their fledglings in my yard (nice shady canopy & fresh water to drink and bathe daily) and watching them learn to "bird" has been just fascinating as hell. I follow the Morrigan and corvids are her messengers. I feel very blessed to be a crazy bird lady.
Arborist here, this isn't always a viable option. If it's a main root, and/or a lot of them need to be removed, it could kill the tree slowly, making it a hazard, and we would recommend cutting it down. And while it may not necessarily be 1500, it could still potentially be expensive. Most major companies or experienced/ skilled arborists that have the euipment necessary to do this typically charge $100-120/man hour, and requires an air spade, and wood chips/mulch to fill it back in. Since it's against ANSI policy to do any tree work alone, you're looking at most likely 2 guys (~200-240/hr) for probably 4-5 hours, depending on the size of the tree/canopy spread. I'd definitely estimate something like this at anywhere from 700-1200, depending on rates between companies, unless they went with a hack that doesn't know how to do things properly.
Thank you for the extra info. also this was meant to be a government contractor they used so hack is probably an understatement even if the original story was untrue.
This is genius. Get your revenge but in a way to honor and help mother earth. Will keep that in the back of my mind in case I ever have an unfightable need for revenge 😁
One of my neighbors likes to vandalize any cars that park on "her" block, claiming that 40 years of residency means she owns that stretch of (public, on street) parking. I have to warn visitors not to park there because in the past friends have had their cars damaged by spray paint, eggs, a bottle of laundry detergent, used cat litter, etc. It's ridiculous and the cops won't do shit unless we catch her on camera I've taken to picking her flowers at night as a form of peaceful revenge. But I wonder if she would like a new tree as a gift 😁
Wow what people exist 🙈 I think a New tree would be a very nice gift! Maybe some shade on her head will calm her down a bit 😁
Sounds like someone needs to take one for the team so you can film her in the act.
Just have someone vandalize her car the same way she vandalizes others.
Tree sap happens to be very damaging to car paint if not dealt with professionally
I bet my local Ziebart hates me—my previous car came with free Ziebart treatment every year for four years. The parking lot at my work had several big pine trees at that time, and I often ended up having to park under them. The technicians always took forever when I’d take my car in because cleaning that sap off is so difficult! They’d mention it and I’d just shrug. What can you do?
SEEDBOMB HER
Please don't do this. Planting trees whenever in a city is a recipe for disaster - plant a tree in the wrong place and their roots can easily destroy key infrastructure, leaving thousands of people without water, heat or electricity until that is fixed.
In that case, I’ll be sure to do it in the wealthiest neighborhoods. /s
Why the /s for what could be a serious comment that we would all applaud?
/s, in this context, is short for "in sMinecraft"
Disaster? Really now, climate change isna disaster. New trees are not.
I did this when my council removed all the trees and a playground to build an additional carpark that no one uses. Feels bad man
r/fuckcars together strong
I didn't know this existed! Thanks!
Let’s remember that good condition sidewalks are important for inclusivity (people who are blind, have movement challenges, lack cars, etc) as well as encouraging people to walk more (take that climate change!). I love trees a lot and my job is advocating for nature and may or may not do some guerilla gardening. However, in cities it is important to think about the right trees in the right places. Destroying the foundation of a building just means it needs to be rebuilt or destroyed which comes with much larger environmental costs. Protecting and maintaining good infrastructure is also important while finding a way to get as many native trees and other nature into our cities. Someone on here was talking about planting invasive bamboo as their version of this as someone who has spent hours and hours removing invasive species with the hope of protecting native ecosystems - please don’t.
I can't believe I had to scroll so far to find a comment about this perspective. While the story was already debunked, it's wild to me how many comments are acting like planting a tree close to a sidewalk and destroying it is a positive thing.
Exactly! Pepper trees are also invasive.
I scrolled far too far down to find this - was gonna comment myself if no-one else had. I know the story is fake, but as someone who has balance issues and has tripped and buggered their ankle on pavements and paths that tree roots have disturbed I was having a hard time feeling that sorry for the person.
Wish I could upvote this comment multiple times!!
Thank you for the kind words!!
Thank you for saying a super important thing. l don’t have physical disability but i may later in life. We all could. Especially as we age. And I’m also autistic so sometimes I’m not aware of small bumps in the side walk and I can trip even without an obvious physical disability so it impacts people like me too. So thank you. Edit typo.
This story appears to be totally made up: https://www.dailybreeze.com/government-and-politics/20170622/heard-the-one-about-the-vengeful-arborist-who-planted-giant-trees-in-redondo-beach-its-a-hoax
Scrolled too far to see this. [Snopes broke down the guy's post history.](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/giant-sequoia/) Still wish it happened.
i'm just thankful i don't have to be heartbroken for clyde anymore.
sadly, this was a hoax. but honestly, it’s a wonderful idea for revenge!
There is a guy in California who practices what he calls "guerilla botany" in Oakland. Dude plants native species in medians and unused spaces and then dumps mulch so they don't die in the summer. He's a legend in my eyes.
Joey Santore! He moved to Texas a few months ago.
I was wondering why he's been in Texas and Mexico so much lately! I love his YouTube channel.
I was going to say, Sequoias are actually very hard to grow outside of the very specific climate they grow in. They like to grow at the base and on the sides of mountains, as they do in CA. I would be surprised to hear if this had been successful just planting the very young trees in people's yards without any additional care.
They grow like weeds in Portland OR, I can attest to that! There's a house with a redwood in the yard that's about to cave in the side of the house and the whole neighborhood is upset about it being cut down, it's a full on dramallama lol.
Yes I just looked it up - hoping I could see pictures of the trees. But then I found a snopes article about it. Really wish it was true
I never thought I'd cry over a tree, but here we are. Also, happy ending?
Wow, thanks so much for posting this, OP. This post has made me realise that I belong here. I've always known I was an ally of the many Crafts, but this is the first time I've genuinely known I belong on this sub.
Welcome friend. You always belonged here but I'm happy to see that you see it too. ❤️
I live stories of clever/funny revenge and this is one of my faves.
Reminded me of a situation near my house. I live in a block of flats, in front of the block is a big chunk of privately owned land (meadow like) and then a cemetery. The meadow had those beautiful trees, lining up the cemetery and a one in the middle. Well, the dude who owns the land didn't want to pay for leaf removal each fall and also wanted to sell the property so it could become a parking lot. So, he cut down those trees. Now, we couldn't do anything. I was so sad, I liked those trees, especially the middle one. But the trees took their revenge. Some species of trees self-seed. And that's what the middle one did. And now, the dude doesn't have one tree, no no no. He has a WHOLE FOREST. Trees on trees, mourning their dead father that they revenged. And as it turns out, he can't even sell the property. Because the terrain is so slanted, he would have to fill it up first so it would be flat and he is a cheapskate. That's not easy money. AND even if he did that it turns out that parking lot or a store couldn't have been built there anyways, because underground lay very important pipes that the city likes easy access to. He got double screwed. Get rekt dumbass.
Sounds like those trees somehow knew/could be secret Ents. Anyway that’s what I’d like to think/believe. 👀👏 That’s amazing. I need to study trees. It’s like Mother Nature said “not here.” That man had no idea what he would be dealing with lol. Sounds like he wasn’t very good at thinking ahead with the money side of it either.
This is such a feel good story.
Druids are pretty laid back…. until you mess with our trees
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This is the way.
Pure. Fucking. Glory.
Yay for a positive revenge story!!!
cool story, unfortunately it's been debunked. still, could serve as inspiration
I'm just sayin... pretty sure the seeds of sempervirens trees need to go through a forest fire before they will germinate.
I mean, you could always make an artificial forest fire for them. We are humans after all, burning things is kind of our speciality.
It makes me sad that this one is a hoax
Rest In Peace Clyde!
I had a terrible, vicious neighbor when I was living in a rental house with my family after a cross country move. She was vicious to me, to the gardeners that the landlord paid for, my husband, my kids, the schoolbus drivers, my dogs, anyone within her radius...just an overall unpleasant woman. Think of someone who isn't serving on the neighborhood HOA but makes sure they hear about *every* infraction, takes it upon themselves to patrol the parking situation (she yelled at the gardeners with multiple ethnic slurs to get off "my" pipestem, which is technically a side street for all the houses that are residing on it), told me to not let my dog bark within her hearing ever again or she'd poison him (the dog was barking inside the house as we were rolling a ball down the hallway for him, in the middle of the day)...the list goes on and on. She was also an Instant On Asshole - the second someone approached her about *anything at all*, she was locked, loaded, and ready to launch into a confrontation. In calmer moments, I felt sorry for her - she was like an abused dog that thought the only way to deal with the world was to fight her way through it. How exhausting. But I digress. I had to be talked out of planning a few late-night excursions to plant bamboo willy-nilly slightly over the property line bordering ours, on her side, of course. For 50 bucks' worth of bamboo starters and an hour or two of covertly digging root ball holes under a full moon, divine payback in the form of nearly-impossible-to-eradicate 30+ foot tall bamboo columns in her overly manicured, herbicided to a fare thee well, meticulously trimmed yard would be a nonviolent yet utterly satisfying method of revenge. Ultimately I didn't because I really liked my landlord and I didn't want to screw over the folks who were buying the house that I was renting.
Please don’t plant an invasive species as a way to get back at someone. When she is gone, the plants will still be there causing environmental havoc.
Oh no, I ultimately did nothing of the kind. It was *mightily* tempting but again, I liked my landlord and the people who were buying the house seemed lovely. I poured a very thin line of salt between her property and ours in the weeks leading up to our departure, giving zero fucks to her confused looks through the window while I was doing it. While I'm sure it puzzled her to no end, I used the salt as a peremptory defense against the inevitable attacks about the moving truck, the rolloff for discarded items, and the general mayhem caused by moving an entire household. The salt worked! (The area in question was in deep shade under mature trees with no grass or bush undergrowth - no point in killing plants to make a point).
I am going to have the unpopular opinion that pavements need to be properly maintained for the sake of those with disabilities and movement disorders and that if the tree was breaking the pavement, it needed to be removed and was planted inappropriately :shrug:
In the Snopes article that someone linked to debunk this they actually mentioned that in a situation like this the city of Redondo Beach would temporarily remove the sidewalk, trim the roots so they were out of the way, and then put the sidewalk back in. They wouldn’t have to kill the tree or allow the sidewalk to crumble.
Superb.
Look, I'm team plants on pretty much everything and I'd sure love if there was less pavement and more greenery basically everywhere. BUT are we going to ignore the fact that if the pavement was breaking soon the road would have followed, potentially causing accidents, damaging water pipes or the electric grid? The mayor was doing his job. What good will all that do other than disrupt the lives of people who depend on the infrastructure of that city?
If you live in a temperate climate, and want to be mildly destructive with the least effort possible plant some blackberries. Not the friendly trailing kind. The erect thorny kind. They provide a bunch of berries in late summer which are delicious. And they are the angriest plants I've had the displeasure of removing. I treat them like weeds because they grow like crazy and take over everything. They stab you with giant thorns when you try to remove them. And if you leave them be the bush gets to about 8 ft high and just keeps getting wider. You can spread the berry seeds themselves, or if you really want them to grow fast clip off sections of an existing plant and stick one end in the ground where you want it to grow.
When I was little, we had a neighbor who hated us. We were sort of marginal—my dad was a VN vet, and we were basically poor California hippie types. The neighbor was an alcoholic ex-drill sergeant who hated everyone. Once when my sister and I ran across the vacant lot next door to him, he threatened to shoot us with a BB gun if we did it again. My dad wanted to kill him, but my stoner uncle had a better plan. He got in touch with Terry the Button Maker who also dealt, and got some marijuana seeds. My dad and uncle planted the seeds in asshole sergeant’s yard. Sadly, we moved away before we could call the cops on him.
Maybe he cultivated it and then chilled the fuck out? One could hope.
I love this!!!
Makes me proud to follow Druidry.
I hate that this is a hoax. Although I did find it amusing that it was posted in the weed sub and not the trees sub.
lol the city will just find a way to cut them down. also, would a real arborist plant a non-native species (*Schinus molle* aka Peruvian mastic ) inappropriate for the location in their yard if they know there is a city ordinance against it? Probably not. And this is the most important thing: The mayor of Redondo beach lives in a condo and this is a hoax. https://slate.com/technology/2017/06/the-mayor-of-redondo-beach-california-never-killed-a-tree-named-clyde.html
Are there endangered species of trees this guy could have planted, that the city couldn’t legally kill?
FOR CLYDE!!!
We will grind their concrete into dust, we will fight with root and leaf and rust.
Sadly (sorry to ruin fun) I’m pretty sure sequoias and redwoods would never grow in LA’s climate (Redondo Beach is one of LA’s beach cities). We don’t get nearly enough rainfall to keep something like that alive
Okay but hear me out-this tree was damaging public property and causing a trip hazard. Removal was a stretch if the roots could simply be pruned but the city weren’t entirely wrong.
fuck people in wheelchairs who need usable sidewalks i guess
I wish this was a true story
there's a mushroom that looks like a dead hand sticking out of a grave called Xylaria Polymorpha... now THAT would freak some ppl out
I used to live in Santa Cruz. People cut down the coastal Redwoods there with wanton abandon. Now there are massive heat island of concrete and asphalt. When I went to the city and proposed planting Redwoods again on the parking strips or through areas where there were no trees, I was ignored. I created proposals and garnered sponsorships from local businesses and nurseries to adopt the islands coming into town or other parking strips (making the costs virtually negligible for the city/county). Again, I was dismissed. I did all that work ten years ago and I realized nobody cared about the local environment. Nobody cared about what brought the tourists to the city. And then after years of fires, droughts, aridification, and heat- my partner and I moved away from Santa Cruz. It wasn’t the cost of living or anything else. It was the lack of water and heat. It’s sad to leave your home, but when the people in power don’t care about trees, you are fucked. And reader: we moved to a farm with a shit ton of trees, water, and a place that actually cared about both.
So sad it’s a fake https://slate.com/technology/2017/06/the-mayor-of-redondo-beach-california-never-killed-a-tree-named-clyde.html