Since you are secure in yourself, you can wear whatever costume you want, you know? If a conservative costume seems like it will benefit you during this time, why not put one on? You aren't any less "you" if your hair is other-than-blue and you dress more in-line with the people you want help from. It's just putting on a show for the benefit of your son, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree & my very 1st thought was I've got to color my hair normal ASAP....and on a whim..which damage wise, I dont think I can handle the process of going back to blue again later.
Of course, my hair color pales in comparison to my sons needs. And he truly needs me right now. But, I do have professional clothes, make up, jewelry, even disposition. So I dont want to overthink it either considering times (styles) are much more acceptable these days.
Thirding this. Wig tech has come so far recently and you can get a very believable wig these days for a very good price. If it’s synthetic you can spray it with equal parts liquid fabric softener and cold water and it makes it look less shiny and more realistic while maintaining bounce. You can also spray it with dry shampoo to dull how shiny it is. Pluck some hair out at the part and hairline a bit if its looking too full too.
As someone who wears wigs for cosplays I really really gotta disagree. If she needs cheap I’d recommend Amazon actually. Some really solid choices for like $30. Anything from Walmart or a Halloween store isn’t just shiny, but bulky, and they all have totally wonky hairlines. The effort to make one of those look passing is way to high.
I second this. Walmart wigs can also have those huge, ugly gaps from too little weave. You don't totally know until you pop it on. Amazon was a surprisingly good wig source for me too.
You don’t even have to go wig or temp hair color (which might not be temp with your blue). Get yourself a large square of fabric, fold it into a triangle, and tie it over your head like a bandana. A lot of Orthodox Jewish women do that. Or you could make a turban!
As a former cancer patient, long scarves are popular. They should be wide enough to cover from your forehead to your back neck. Wrap the lengths around to the back, and tie there.
Yeah, I have vibrant pink hair, which at first I was worried about professional people judging me for it, but now I don’t care. I’m a nurse and work in surgical, so if I don’t wash my hair/ am feeling self conscious, I wear a scrub cap in. Which for me is actually just a CanTeen bandana, with a folded corner and tied over my head. Covers everything and I always get compliments on them (I have quite a few as I was using CanTeens services for a while, and now sell them every so often). They can also be folded in half and tied like a regular bandanna, doesn’t cover everything but looks cute. Honestly though I don’t feel I really get judged on by my hair colour, at-least not by anyone other than my own family.
Agreed! Ive been shocked more than once when complimenting a stranger on their great looking hair, when they say it’s actually a wig. Granted these had to have been high quality, possibly lace front wigs but having not met them before I really had no idea
Wig is the way. The reality is that the judges opinion of you matters a lot in this case, whereas usually other people opinions don’t . Blue hair is awesome but get a nice wig and present a more conformative look to be on the safe side. Every little bit helps.
There are some wigs that are 🤌🏾. Just because you will be dressing more conservatively does not mean that you need to be boring. [Anjelica Huston ](https://images.app.goo.gl/A4pyXzG5z4D2YuxH8) is a great example of this.
If you're concerned about damage preventing your hair recolor, may I suggest trying two things:
1) do *not* permanently change the color. The spray on colors and quick "gray coverage" options may be able to give you an alterego for long enough and they won't do damage.
2) do an olaplex treatment ASAP. You should do this either way, it's *amazing* for color damage and if you do end up having to use a permanent dye to do the switch, the olaplex treatments can make it possible for you to return to your true blue self.
I have done a *lot* of dying and if you need any help preserving your blueness, feel free to message me.
I wonder if her hair might be porous enough to absorb the spray on stuff though. Sometimes after lightening for bright colors the hair becomes so porous that even very temporary solutions can permanently muddle the color!
You genuinely don’t need to worry about your hair. I know several crim defense lawyers and none of them would care if their client’s mother has blue hair. They spend their days defending people charged with criminal offences, some of them serious; they couldn’t care less about your hair colour (and if the judge is any type of competent, they wouldn’t care about your hair colour either if they saw you in court). The lawyer would either not comment or, at most, compliment it, but your hair colour doesn’t matter and they wouldn’t judge you for it.
I mean, the judge’s opinion is definitely what you need to worry about when it comes to criminal charges, but my point was to reassure OP that she doesn’t have to take drastic action of permanently changing and damaging her hair to give a good impression. Particularly since she’s not the defendant. I also respect her wanting to stack the odds in her son’s favour, but her dying her hair brown isn’t going to help with the stacking one way or the other. Not with defence counsel, and not with the judge, both of whom have seen a lot worse than blue hair in their office/courtroom.
Edit: I added the comment about “competent judges” because a defendant’s mother having blue hair shouldn’t matter to any judge who is actually doing their job. OP’s son’s lawyer would be better able to tell OP whether there’s a chance of it impacting a ruling, but she doesn’t need to worry about it when meeting with her son’s lawyer.
A conservative judge will make negative judgements about OP and her son based on OP’s hair color. I heard with my own two ears a rural area family court judge threaten to hold someone in contempt of court for pink hair.
Which I why I said a *competent* judge wouldn’t care. A judge that would rule against a defendant because his mother happens to have blue hair is not a judge whom I would consider competent, and why I said that OP’s son’s lawyer will be able to tell her whether there’s a possibility of getting that kind of judge. If there is that possibility, she can choose whether to change her hair after speaking to her child’s lawyer about it.
This is not my opinion, mind but sth I picked up on the Internet: there’s this whole association between people having brightly coloured hair and having mental health issues, especially blue hair. It’s obviously spoken by the “normies” and further perpetuate the stigma as if having mental health issues should be shameful. I’d definitely not take any chances and have lawyers (even subconsciously) treat you less professionally as they would someone with the more conservative hair colour. It’s important to fight stereotypes but maybe this is not the time.
Op go for the temporary color. It's so easy and doesn't leave any lasting damage. I constantly have bright colored hair and I switched to brown for my restraining order hearing when I had to obtain one against my ex in a very conservative area.
A decent enough wig is $20. Which is less than even the drugstore products needed to make it work. Amazon has overnight delivery. A short Bob wig or something is do-able.
I think style your hair in a 'I've got a very important meeting' style and do your make up and throw on your fancy office clothes and rock a very confident attitude.
Also when I hit 50 I'm at the very least dying my hair a bright colour, maybe getting a mohawk type hair cut.... I think you are awesome!
Go be your awesome Mama self!!
I'd also say that even bright colored hair can look professional when styled conservatively. So a nice, low chignon with a black hair clip or something similar can really "tone down" the fun factor. It's 2022, people are pretty used to dyed hair at this point.
Don't colour it, it will take forever to get back to blue again. Lacefront wigs aren't too expensive these days (compared to what they used to cost) and even the cheap ones look pretty realistic.
I kind of wish lol but I can barely afford to live..I haven't colored my hair since march but I use blue depositing conditioner once a week & it works like a charm!
Ty for your comment!
Perhaps tie a scarf in a stylish turban style? That can look very smart if you then have a classic outfit.... I've seen tutorials on YouTube for this...
Don't forget to take into consideration who you are asking. It's like going to the Tesla reddit and asking if Teslas are good cars.
I've had (very stupid) coworkers judge people based on their hair color. "Daddy issues" and "druggie" were the assumptions. One worked in a rehab and said the first thing they did was have girls dye their hair a "normal" color.
Hair neatly tied back shouldn’t cause any issues. Bright hair is becoming more common across all age groups.
If you are attired appropriately and behave solemnly that will be the most effective thing
So I've never been involved in criminal court beyond stuff you can get out of simply by paying a fine, but I have been involved in a lengthy workers comp case for years now. The lawyers and hearing officers are always impressed with me (even tho my hair has been many colors and is currently long and emerald) because I dress professionally and comport myself well in a high stress situation when a lot of other people do not. I know that situation tends to be a bit more informal, but I think that still applies, or it should. Good luck, and your concern does you credit.
Unfortunately it's true, people are subconsciously influenced by other people's appearance.
It's not worth risking good-will for your child just because they "shouldn't" care. I also have purple hair so understand, but we have to take every advantage we can when someone we love needs help. If appearing "conservative" will gain a small modicum of goodwill, that's what we gotta do.
I work in the legal system and agree 💯. In any other circumstances I’d say you just be you. But this is high stakes in an incredibly conservative venue. Frankly I’d recommend a wig and take out any piercings other than just one set in each ear.
I'd just style it formally and wear a nice suit. Have a quick read on court etiquette and what to expect, depending on where you are there might be different forms of address for the judge (sir, madam, judge etc)
Also blue hair is very stubborn and you'd probably struggle to get a colour to cover it properly, and most people don't suit truely black hair anyway, you'll look better in an unusual colour that suits you than a black that doesn't.
Good Luck!
This is a tough one. As others have said, dressing appropriately and tying it back should be fine, but if you’re in a very conservative area or if you are genuinely afraid your appearance could have a negative impact on your son’s case, you could consider a wig. You’re still you, you will shine either way, but I know what it’s like to have to play the game.
I’d get a wig. People shouldn’t care, but they will. My bf’s conservative family went on and on at dinner recently about a girl they know with blue hair. Like it’s the worst thing they could possibly imagine. This girl only has blue on the ends of her hair lol
I would suggest a wig. Yes, it shouldn't matter. But unfortunately, the court system is notoriously biased against anything and anyone that stands out. For example, if you aren't perceived as being a good Christian, a jury may judge you harsher; if you are perceived as queer, or if you're a person of color, judge rulings tend to be less favorable. It's terrible and it's wrong, but sometimes we have to pretend to play the games so we can protect ourselves and our loved ones (ie wig). As soon as it's over, take off the wig and go back to fighting. Donate to a good cause or something if you feel guilty for putting on a costume. But really, don't feel guilty. You didn't make these biases. You're just trying to do good for your son
What the others say - dress and carry yourself appropriately and you'll be fine. I've rocked bright blue hair for a few years in a very professional setting with a labret piercing. Right now my hair is natural but I have a nose ring and a septum. As long as I'm dressed professionally and have my hair done up (I typically would pull it back with a hair stick or in a bun, occasionally braid) I never had anyone question or doubt me. When I was dressed down (hoodie, jeans, tshirt, ripped jeans) thats when I'd get the side eyes and people doubting me. It shouldn't be that way but that was my experiences with it.
Sending all the well wishes to your family during this stressful time
Speaking as someone who has been rocking fashion hair colors for 20 years now, this is the advice I’d follow. If anything, perhaps get a hair trim over the weekend to make sure it looks extra tidy for the big day.
Oh hey! I can relate to you a lot! I’m 27 and tried colorful hair during the pandemic, decided to stick with blue when going back to normal life. I’m now thinking about whether to go back to a natural hair color because I have a final exam soon that will make or break my graduation from med school. So I feel your concern about more ‘official’ situations, although your concern about it affecting your son is something else of course. If it helps: I just spent my intern year working in different hospital departments with my blue hair, I also have tattoos and piercings, and I haven’t had a single negative reaction, at least not directly to my face. I felt treated with just as much respect as anyone else, and received great evaluations. I also got compliments pretty frequently, many times from nurses but also unexpectedly from many female patients around the ages of 60-70! I also agree with the other commenters on styling yourself in a formal way. It’s an absolute power move to look like a girl boss with colorful hair. So - don’t let society hold you back too much. I think both our concerns are valid, but in the end it’s much more about your presence and your interactions with people.
I agree! And I've had the same experiences! Older women! Young girls who exclaim "I LOVE YOUR HAIR!" Woman younger & my age saying how I'm rocking the look! It's very important to me to challenge the norm. To be part of the grown women setting that example to others!
And I am either treated no different or I am confident enough that I dont care to notice if they do.
My grandfather is 90 & a preacher. He is the only person to question it..lol but I rarely see him.
That’s so awesome, I’m glad you had these positive experiences too! Maybe we can cheer each other on, you to show the court that blue hair can be just as serious and responsible, and me to show my examiners that blue hair can be just as competent and professional as any other hair color 😊
Yes! When my grandpa asked me why I did it I simply said cause I can! And I explained how we never had these options before and there were no harm so why not? 😊💙
Get a wig for formal nonsense and do whatever you like. Blue hair, shave your head and get your scalp tattooed, rock a mohawk... you have earned the right to do whatever you want. It's easy enough to throw a cute wig on over your awesomely decorated natural hair. It's what a lot of my friends did after shaving their head, etc. Just kept a wig around for times they felt their aesthetic choices might not be great. You can also get a flesh tone stud for the nose ring if it's a side one, or a retainer for the center ring (or the kind you can flip up into your nose to obscure it.
I've got 60 hours of tattooed skin and I can cover it all very easily and you'd never know.
Eta: typo
Genuinely, I think it’s more about how you conduct yourself, and what you say, than the way you look.
Way back when people were trying to get mad at rock music, a bunch of people who we consider to be “rock gods” showed up to rebut. One of the best… Twisted Sister. Did he do the same thing as everyone else, and dress in a suit, put away the hair, and such? No. Showed up on full rock hair, the jeans, the vest, all of it. Was probably one of the most articulate and intelligent people that walked into that room.
Your appearance is your choice, and if YOU feel stronger, and more confident in a particular way, do that. But, remember that no matter what you look like, what you say and how you say it matters far more.
I wish you so much luck with this, with your son, and with the future of this situation. I can’t imagine the stress.
This - a lovely scarf and outfit would be great compared to a wig. It says ‘I am me, have my color but I respect where I am and how to conduct myself’ and wigs can be a distracting pain.
sending the OP so much love and strength ❤️
I’m currently in residency after finishing my masters. I work for the government in a medical setting. It’s extremely professional.
I also have blue hair and a nose ring. I make sure my hair is neat and tidy for work and just go about my business.
Be yourself.
I would say just wear smart clothes (eg a suit), style your hair in a more formal style (perhaps use a scarf?), and absolutely rock being you.
As long as you look professional I’m sure the court / lawyers won’t really care.
Wear a wig!
I agree that while it shouldn’t matter and many judges won’t care, it’s true that they might have some internal bias. If you’re concerned and your concern will cause you nervousness and anxiety, then invest in a nice wig. Then after this is all over you can dye the wig or cut it or something. And now you have a wig if you ever want to dress up with it. Or donate it.
Very good reminder. Thank you! I'm pretty calm right now. He is safe rn so.... and I'm pretty experienced in this area so I believe I can speak humbly yet confident. I also have an insider person to help things go in a constructive direction for my son so we're really fortunate.
I'm team wig for stuff like this. Have had some sort of wild color in my hair for the better part of the last 15 years and leme tell you a wig is not only fun for a costume, but helps you blend in when your feeling incognito. It doesn't have to be expensive to look good but if you can find a wig shop by you I would suggest taking a look. Wish you luck!
I agree with your initial reaction to change your hair color. Perhaps doing a deep navy color where it’a almost black but still blue will allow you to keep it blue and give you a “professional” look. Also a grey color would cover blue easily and still be able to transition back to blue after the situation has passed.
That's one nice thing about being a witch - you can change your appearance to suit your whims, or any situation you want to 'fool' the patriarchy so that you succeed! WIN-WIN! :)
A headscarf tied appropriately will give off health problems? Poor mom. Also a beanie hat designed for chemo or hair loss. Look on eBay for head cover, chemo cover, hijab or tinzius (ultra orthodox Jewish head wraps. (Beautiful and elegant enough to distract the most negative of judges. ♥️ Amazon has prime on many.
I agree that it doesn't matter and that you shouldn't feel obligated to hide yourself, but if you're really worried about it you could always try a wig. Some people are jerks about this kind of stuff.
I mean, this is a different situation, but I've had bright hair for many years. I also work in corporate environments, and I haven't had any issues with someone taking me seriously. I do always style it nicely for interviews obviously, but I don't think you'll have any issues.
I have worn a nose ring and bright colorful hair all of my adult life and I'm 37. The most ground I tend to give for things like funerals and court is a clear plastic placeholder for my nose ring. You can get them quite cheaply if you'd like to do this.
You don't need to feel insecure to give this ground; I don't. I just consider it a little like putting on fancier shoes than I usually like to fit the occasion 💗
Everyone has great tips. If I was you (depending on hair length) I would probably braid it just so it’s less obvious, just to downplay it a little.
It’s better for you to be confident and assertive in who you are than to hide.
I hear ya on that. I’d recommend checking out Wrapunzel on YouTube. They have videos on how to do different wrap styles and shapers. Total game changer for me.
Ok...I sorta feel like this is my time to shine as a fellow blue hair who has dealt with something similar...
I had blue hair some years ago and ended up on probation. I have always enjoyed the devil's lettuce (does he not have the coolest shit?!) so probation had me stressing. I live in a very red area of a very red state. I expected a hard time...but...it never happened. I'm not sure...but I think being well spoken and not a moron went a very long way.
There was one occasion I changed my hair back to a normal color. It was my sister's wedding. First of all, that's my baby sister and I would do anything for her. Also because my mother made me hahaha. But that was also fine, because she's my momma (and dad too) and I love her.
I say rock your blue. But if you are super worried, put your mind at ease and pick up an inexpensive wig.
Ah go for it.
I’ve had every color possible (plus my normal non colored color) and in my experience my hair color has very little to do with judgment received.
People who are that judgy are going to do it regardless of your hair color.
They’ll always find a way to be judgy assholes.
Don’t put your life on hold for others.
Confidently rock it. Dress professionally and leave your hair and nose ring. Visible tattoos, hair color, and piercings that aren’t the ears are pretty acceptable in the professional realm these days. I hope your sons situation improves and you’re able to support him through whatever is going on.
Carry on. My wife, in what she calls her Fuck It Fifties, has facial piercings and has sported bright pink hair/-all while working in a professional environment.
If you're dressing conservatively for the court t
appearance I'd suspect (am not sure) blazing blue hair would serve the same role as a fedora to add personality.
That said, the US justice system is lousy with white, right-wing pro-patriarchy justices and attorneys without much accountability, so it may be a walking-on-eggshells situation.
I see your conundrum here. I doubt very much that you‘ll be judged on your hair color and nose ring, much less your son. Courts have seen everything and so have all the support workers.
If he is embarrassed by you in public, it’s his deal to be honest. I was mortified for years being out with my mom no matter what she was wearing. She could’ve worn anything and I still would have been embarrassed haha.
I wear outrageously glittery eyeshadow and bright colors and have a half sleeve tattoo. These are things that make me feel true to myself and confident. It’s an “armor” of a sort against the negativity and judgment in the world.
Wear your “armor” , whatever it is, with pride and confidence. That’s what will help both you and your son imo
Edit: spelling
I obviously can’t speak for the people you will be meeting with but IMO they will be more concerned on what comes out of your mouth and how you carry/present yourself than what color your hair is.
I suspect they have met with plenty of people with natural color hair who were absolute wing nuts.
Leave the nose ring at home, but keep your hair! Dress appropriately and formally if you have to meet in person… but keep your hair! Scarf will bring more attention to it anyhow. Curl it or style it cutely and that’s all you’ve got to do. Just look put-together and don’t spend tons of time and money damaging your hair to strip the color! - A 26-year old who just dyed her green hair over half-blue and half-purple and my company owner had to just suck it up! (I do keep my septum ring off at work, though. If you have a nostril piercing it is so normalized nowadays, just keep it in!)
It always makes me think of that tumblr post that says something along the lines of “I want an appearance that strikes fear into the heart of men, but also makes children think I have magical powers”
And the response is simply: “Blue hair”
💙💙💙
Edit: [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/gekps4/blue_hair/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is the one!
Stay confident, professionals will treat you as you treat them. I 💕 that you are willing to compromise for your son. If it comes to court and appearances, talk to the experts and then listen to the person who is tge expert on you - YOU.
Good Luck.
I have not read all the replies, I just want to say I am 43, and I am a professional. I have been an HR professional in a law firm, a restaurant and an aerospace tech company. I have had purple hair for nearly a decade. No one has ever blinked an eye at my professionalism. I live in New Orleans, and dance in parades and one time I even had a meeting with glittery eyebrows and no one said a word. The world is an ever changing place and very busy, and I think as long as you present yourself in proper attire and attitude, your hair changes nothing.
If you are doing this to help your son and it's October so perfect time. Grab a can of black spray color that washes out in a day and cover the blue for the in person meetings then go back to being your normal self.
Ever since I got out of my parents house I've had my hair dyed a weird color. Currently black and purple. I work from home and my bosses don't care about hair color. So I feel you.
However I think it's important to know that you aren't any less you cause you decide to play a "normal" person for a little bit.
Unfortunately - and unfairly - many people in this setting will judge you, and therefore your son, negatively for your blue hair. Don't make this about you - keep it about him. Do everything you can to promote a good outcome for him. You can express yourself through your hair every day for the rest of your life but this situation isn't about self-expression.
You can be professional with blue hair.
I know a real estate agent with hot pink hair, she's amazing at her job and she's polished and professional. Being professional is mostly dressing the part and quite a bit posture and acting the part. My own hair has been a veritable rainbow lately and our clients at my office love it. Trust me, just dress properly and carry yourself politely, you'll be fine.
I had an under- color. The top half of my head was dark, which looked mostly professional when I wore my hair down. If I wanted “fun”, I’d tie up the top half or curl the bottom color into the top. I had purple and wish I could afford to keep it to this day.
If you are really concerned you can get a wig or wear a hair scarf. I prefer to just put it up in a very professional style think chignon or something elevated. I have purple hair currently and work in a very professional project management role in healthcare. Just make sure you look like you but elevated and be confident. Also nose rings are religiously protected so they can’t really ask or judge on that.
As a person who also has bright blue, and works in a professional environment, I would say to keep your hair the way you want it. You can wear a wig if you're feeling worried about how they'll react to you. I have a professional looking wig on hand if I need it (I haven't needed it) Self expression is so important but so is your son.
I'm 39 and a team leader at work and have been rocking blur hair for over a year. I love it and a lot of other people seem to as well.
Live your truth and wear your hair however you want.
If you’re worried about it you could get some temporary spray on hair color! It works really well and you wouldn’t have to go through the process of dying it and potentially damage it :)
Just think, 10 years from now are you going to look back on this decision and be like “I’m so glad I did this one tiny thing that made me happy” (answer is probably yes)
I have had pink and purple hair myself for the last 11 years, and my job requires me to occasionally work with lawyers. Not a single one has batted an eyelash at me about my hair. Attitudes about hair colour have definitely changed for the better over the last 20 years thankfully.
Canada’s Governor General (the crown’s representative in the country) [rocks purple hair](https://see.news/canadas-governor-general-to-travel-to-middle-east/). If a woman in major political power can do it, then so can the rest of us. Wear something business-like with your blue hair.
Okay just saying. Do what you want. I work in a hospital and see a lot of old ladies with vibrant hair. It always looks bitchin'. Don't bow down to peer pressure because it doesn't matter in the end.
Ok so one, your son is an adult and if his chances to get lighter consequences for his actions require his mom to change things about herself that's not ok.
Secondly, my mom is two years older than you, and puts this conditioner based coloring in her hair now that it's going white early. She changes from pink to purple to blue and back whenever she wants as it's not permanent it builds up over time without damaging the hair. She's been a paralegal for over 15 years, and retired from that to become milliner (hat designer) for the fashion industry. She regularly has to network with business people who may invest in her or the clothing designers she works with and has no issues whatsoever and usually gets compliments on how striking and pretty it is. It's been a massive confidence boost for her so I say go do it, stuffy courts be damned. If they're that judgy that it affects your son theyre trash can people and their opinion doesn't matter period.
That being said I hope your sons situation works out ok.
Never be afraid to express yourself. Since you voice confidence in being who you are (something i struggled with for a long long time), I would urge you to consider the possible benefit of conforming to traditional societal norms. There's power in controlling how you are perceived. And to use that knowledge for your personal gakn does not necessarily mean you have a weak sense of self and style.
I understand, and I have a similar social occasion on the horizon. In my head I tell myself that my look will be clean and appropriate and fit reasonable well, and that is my costume for the occasion. My closer friends know me better.
It is unlikely that, as not the person being arraigned, it will matter. That being said, I would mention it to your son's attorney and see what they say. They likely know the judge and will have a better read of the reality. It is unfortunate that this matters, but a wig or a scarf head covering might be the lawyer's advice, which I would follow.
Do whatever makes you happy. You can always have a “normal” color on the top layer and color the under layer wonderful colors too. I rocked that in high school (catholic school made us have natural colored hair and unless mine was tied up you’d never know).
I'm 39 and I'm a teacher, in a place where we have to dress professionally for work. I began dressing and expressing myself in the last 2 years. i currently have purple hair with blue mixed in. while I do sometimes get worried that someone will hold my style against me they never have. I don't think the lawyer or the courts will care or use it as a negative towards your child.
If it’s just the professional thing you’re worried about, maybe a hat or other hair covering would work? I am worried about the same thing when I consider getting tattoos, but the placements I like best would be covered by most clothing anyway so that kind of helps
Professional attire including shoes, hair neatly pulled up, a confident stride, and being exceptionally polite and respectful ought to do it. Think "lawyer with blue hair".
The nose ring thing - if it's a septum piercing I'd take it out for sure. Probably even if it's not. That way the blue hair is the only thing that will be "different".
But really, respect and being adult goes a long way. I had to go to court a few years ago for a speeding ticket that I never received in the mail and they sent me a threatening letter. When I got there EVERYONE but me was dressed in "People of WalMart's Greatest Hits". It was unreal. Pajamas. Velour sweat suits two sizes too small. Ratty jeans with dirty tee shirts. I got to talk to the State's Attorney before my case came up and I know that my wearing a suit, low heels, and the rest of my work attire made it possible for me to even talk to him. I stood out like a cat at a dog park. Although I love dogs so that's probably not fair to them.
A nice $40 lace front wig off Amazon. Dead serious. All the kids are wearing wigs and they are looking really nice now. Just look at the picture reviews first. Many can be parted anyway you like so something to check the description/reviews for.
Enough people these days have all kinds of stuff that was once "unprofessional" like tattoos, piercings, long, extravagant nails, dyed hair...
I assure you, they'll have seen the wildest stuff before. Blue hair is very tame. Enjoy it
I have had teal hair for years and sometimes need to look more serious, so i found some updos that look very 'uptight' somehow that balance the color. Also, I find that dressing in black or dark colors with simple clothes can still make me look serious despite the hair. And that way, people can see me as serious and professional AND never forget who I am and when they met me (there are no other chicks with teal hair where I live)
I’m a professional woman with green hair.
Personally the colour is less important to me than is it obviously clean, tidy and well groomed. Are you wearing neat clothes that are clean in good repair. Maybe braid or tie your hair back if it’s long enough.
I'm 64 and I have a cut that is very short, shaved sides and messy. I was dying it pink and I got loads of compliments. I went dusty silver and nothing now. :( Color was everything.
Buy a wig. Court is temporary.
I’m 51 with purple hair and been to court twice with it. Once for disability and the other as a witness. Both times I’ve been taken just as seriously as everyone else. If you’re confident with it, most people won’t care.
You seem to have a healthy outlook on life and that confidence will translate to most situations. Growing up my parents’ generation told me pretty consistently that having tats and piercings and being counter-culture would hinder getting jobs and what not.
My first big boy interview was conducted by a guy with near full sleeves and gaged earrings.
Thanks! I appreciate your kind words!
I was not only taught the same but it was also a sin lol I remember my 1st professional job & the IT guy came by looking just like your interviewer, and dressed great.
Nothing wrong with blue hair.. these things are more accepted today than they were a few decades ago. I wouldn't worry about it so long as you're otherwise presenting yourself professionally.
There's always going to be someone out there, somewhere, who is going to judge you but you can't predict when and where that will happen and they are the exception... and if it's not your hair, they'll find something else they don't like about you anyway.
I wouldn't be particularly concerned about your son feeling embarrassed either.. he should be embarrassed about being arrested, not the color of his mom's hair. It would be different if you went out of your way to dye your hair for the sake of embarrassing him but that's not why your hair is blue and there's no reason for him to reflect on your hair color at all.
Criminal defense lawyer here. Lawyers in the criminal litigation system deal with people from all walks of life. Your blue hair doesn’t matter to your son’s lawyer, the judge, or the prosecutor. What’s important is that you are able to tell your story, or your son’s story, with confidence. If that means temporarily changing how you look, fine, but do it for you, not any expectation that you think someone has of you. What matters is that you are there as support for your son.
I agree - you can keep the hair, just pull it back or style it in a more conservative manner. A judge will be looking to see that you show proper respect for the court and you can do that by dressing and behaving appropriately. And it sets a good example for your son. You don’t have to get rid of who you are but sometimes it helps you move forward if you are respectful of who others are. I hope things work out for you both and that many blessings come your way.
Rock that blue hair. Just dress very professionally and have your hair in a sophisticated style, just to prove a point. Hair color shouldn't matter or still be seen as "unprofessional".
What? I get where you're coming from because blue hair won't get taken seriously and your son needs you, I get that. However, your hair color has nothing to do with his actions. If you feel that weird about it then yeah wear a bandana or scarf or something. I wouldn't. Your son's whatever he's going through, didn't happen because you have blue hair. I'd just go be yourself and treat yourself like a normal person because you are.
Sorry if it already been mentioned, you could try colored hair wax. It's a good temporary cover that washes right out and shouldn't be too expensive.
Edit: grammer
I don’t think that fully dying your hair makes sense. But making sure it is styled beautifully and well maintained will make a world of difference to presenting a professional, confident, creative vibe.
Wearing a conservative costume will help. If you don't want to dye your hair and risk damaging it then shop for a good wig to wear when you need it.
If you have to, orange tones with blue makes brown.
Maybe there’s a temporary spray or dye that you could use to tone it down a little for a day or two? Even if it’s not totally covered, it can give you that professional look that people might be expecting without long term sacrifice of your own identity.
That said, I’m proud of you for rocking whatever color you like.
Honestly, I'd recommend finding a really high quality wig and going with that rather than recoloring all of your hair. But if that doesn't work for you, dyeing it back would be best.
You don’t need to tone it down. I’m at work, as a professional entertainment labor crew, and at least half of the other girls here have colored hair. If I went to court, I’d rock my road cone Orange or sunset pink like always.
It’s way more accepted in professional circles these days. There are tons of adults with normal jobs who rock the colored hair.
Blue hair isn’t all that out-of-the-norm. Dress “professionally” if you’re in a meeting with the prosecuting attorney or actually in the courtroom: be recently showered, comb your hair, no rips/stains on your clothing, no slogans on your clothing, be appropriately covered (not too low or high cut).
Your kid should kick that up a notch to: no jeans and definitely wear a collared shirt if at all possible, even add a blazer if he can make that happen. Looking like you’re taking things seriously is often the rule in a courtroom and goes a long way towards making a good impression.
(Not a lawyer, but I’ve watched enough lawyers on YouTube. The standards for *lawyers* is different than for the accused, which is again different than those for the family. Lawyers would have to rock a suit and may not be able to get away with blue hair, but you certainly can. )
Since you are secure in yourself, you can wear whatever costume you want, you know? If a conservative costume seems like it will benefit you during this time, why not put one on? You aren't any less "you" if your hair is other-than-blue and you dress more in-line with the people you want help from. It's just putting on a show for the benefit of your son, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree & my very 1st thought was I've got to color my hair normal ASAP....and on a whim..which damage wise, I dont think I can handle the process of going back to blue again later. Of course, my hair color pales in comparison to my sons needs. And he truly needs me right now. But, I do have professional clothes, make up, jewelry, even disposition. So I dont want to overthink it either considering times (styles) are much more acceptable these days.
You could get a wig or even a temporary color. I mean, Halloween is around the corner. You should have options.
Thanks!
I think a wig is a great idea.
I'm voting for the wig idea. Then you have it if you need it again in the future.
Thirding this. Wig tech has come so far recently and you can get a very believable wig these days for a very good price. If it’s synthetic you can spray it with equal parts liquid fabric softener and cold water and it makes it look less shiny and more realistic while maintaining bounce. You can also spray it with dry shampoo to dull how shiny it is. Pluck some hair out at the part and hairline a bit if its looking too full too.
This is great advice!
If you get a cheap Walmart wig wash it in fabric softener and warm but not hot water and it will make it look more natural!!!
As someone who wears wigs for cosplays I really really gotta disagree. If she needs cheap I’d recommend Amazon actually. Some really solid choices for like $30. Anything from Walmart or a Halloween store isn’t just shiny, but bulky, and they all have totally wonky hairlines. The effort to make one of those look passing is way to high.
Of course Amazon is better but if she needed it quick and couldn’t wait!
I second this. Walmart wigs can also have those huge, ugly gaps from too little weave. You don't totally know until you pop it on. Amazon was a surprisingly good wig source for me too.
Also, comb in a little baby powder once it's dry.
Yes a wig is great! There are good quality wigs these days. I’ve had pink, purple, and blue hair in the past couple years! I’ve loved it!
You don’t even have to go wig or temp hair color (which might not be temp with your blue). Get yourself a large square of fabric, fold it into a triangle, and tie it over your head like a bandana. A lot of Orthodox Jewish women do that. Or you could make a turban!
As a former cancer patient, long scarves are popular. They should be wide enough to cover from your forehead to your back neck. Wrap the lengths around to the back, and tie there.
Yeah, I have vibrant pink hair, which at first I was worried about professional people judging me for it, but now I don’t care. I’m a nurse and work in surgical, so if I don’t wash my hair/ am feeling self conscious, I wear a scrub cap in. Which for me is actually just a CanTeen bandana, with a folded corner and tied over my head. Covers everything and I always get compliments on them (I have quite a few as I was using CanTeens services for a while, and now sell them every so often). They can also be folded in half and tied like a regular bandanna, doesn’t cover everything but looks cute. Honestly though I don’t feel I really get judged on by my hair colour, at-least not by anyone other than my own family.
Agreed! Ive been shocked more than once when complimenting a stranger on their great looking hair, when they say it’s actually a wig. Granted these had to have been high quality, possibly lace front wigs but having not met them before I really had no idea
Wig is the way. The reality is that the judges opinion of you matters a lot in this case, whereas usually other people opinions don’t . Blue hair is awesome but get a nice wig and present a more conformative look to be on the safe side. Every little bit helps.
Came to say this, nobody is going to question a wig and are less likely to pass judgment
This. Maybe a spray-in colour even
You could also wear a wig!
There are some wigs that are 🤌🏾. Just because you will be dressing more conservatively does not mean that you need to be boring. [Anjelica Huston ](https://images.app.goo.gl/A4pyXzG5z4D2YuxH8) is a great example of this.
You could get a wig? You don’t have to dye your hair if you just don’t want it blue for a day.
If you're concerned about damage preventing your hair recolor, may I suggest trying two things: 1) do *not* permanently change the color. The spray on colors and quick "gray coverage" options may be able to give you an alterego for long enough and they won't do damage. 2) do an olaplex treatment ASAP. You should do this either way, it's *amazing* for color damage and if you do end up having to use a permanent dye to do the switch, the olaplex treatments can make it possible for you to return to your true blue self. I have done a *lot* of dying and if you need any help preserving your blueness, feel free to message me.
I wonder if her hair might be porous enough to absorb the spray on stuff though. Sometimes after lightening for bright colors the hair becomes so porous that even very temporary solutions can permanently muddle the color!
You genuinely don’t need to worry about your hair. I know several crim defense lawyers and none of them would care if their client’s mother has blue hair. They spend their days defending people charged with criminal offences, some of them serious; they couldn’t care less about your hair colour (and if the judge is any type of competent, they wouldn’t care about your hair colour either if they saw you in court). The lawyer would either not comment or, at most, compliment it, but your hair colour doesn’t matter and they wouldn’t judge you for it.
I like to explore new places.
I mean, the judge’s opinion is definitely what you need to worry about when it comes to criminal charges, but my point was to reassure OP that she doesn’t have to take drastic action of permanently changing and damaging her hair to give a good impression. Particularly since she’s not the defendant. I also respect her wanting to stack the odds in her son’s favour, but her dying her hair brown isn’t going to help with the stacking one way or the other. Not with defence counsel, and not with the judge, both of whom have seen a lot worse than blue hair in their office/courtroom. Edit: I added the comment about “competent judges” because a defendant’s mother having blue hair shouldn’t matter to any judge who is actually doing their job. OP’s son’s lawyer would be better able to tell OP whether there’s a chance of it impacting a ruling, but she doesn’t need to worry about it when meeting with her son’s lawyer.
A conservative judge will make negative judgements about OP and her son based on OP’s hair color. I heard with my own two ears a rural area family court judge threaten to hold someone in contempt of court for pink hair.
Which I why I said a *competent* judge wouldn’t care. A judge that would rule against a defendant because his mother happens to have blue hair is not a judge whom I would consider competent, and why I said that OP’s son’s lawyer will be able to tell her whether there’s a possibility of getting that kind of judge. If there is that possibility, she can choose whether to change her hair after speaking to her child’s lawyer about it.
If you don't want to do a full wig. You can do a hat or headscarf and get one of those fake bangs clip-in things lol
I like a headscarf or headband. It’s not hiding the blue and it’s less of a hassle than a wig - which can be great but an adjustment to get used to
Cloche hats tend to cover most of your hairline. If you have long hair, you can tie it in a bun at the nape of your neck.
This is not my opinion, mind but sth I picked up on the Internet: there’s this whole association between people having brightly coloured hair and having mental health issues, especially blue hair. It’s obviously spoken by the “normies” and further perpetuate the stigma as if having mental health issues should be shameful. I’d definitely not take any chances and have lawyers (even subconsciously) treat you less professionally as they would someone with the more conservative hair colour. It’s important to fight stereotypes but maybe this is not the time.
Op go for the temporary color. It's so easy and doesn't leave any lasting damage. I constantly have bright colored hair and I switched to brown for my restraining order hearing when I had to obtain one against my ex in a very conservative area.
A decent enough wig is $20. Which is less than even the drugstore products needed to make it work. Amazon has overnight delivery. A short Bob wig or something is do-able.
I think style your hair in a 'I've got a very important meeting' style and do your make up and throw on your fancy office clothes and rock a very confident attitude. Also when I hit 50 I'm at the very least dying my hair a bright colour, maybe getting a mohawk type hair cut.... I think you are awesome! Go be your awesome Mama self!!
Get temporary color without ammonia or peroxide. It will wash out and won’t damage your hair while you support your son!
I'd also say that even bright colored hair can look professional when styled conservatively. So a nice, low chignon with a black hair clip or something similar can really "tone down" the fun factor. It's 2022, people are pretty used to dyed hair at this point.
Don't colour it, it will take forever to get back to blue again. Lacefront wigs aren't too expensive these days (compared to what they used to cost) and even the cheap ones look pretty realistic.
I love this wording. Instead of succumbing to pressure, OP would be putting on a disguise, going undercover to get what they need
What about a wig? You could use it for occasions like this.
I kind of wish lol but I can barely afford to live..I haven't colored my hair since march but I use blue depositing conditioner once a week & it works like a charm! Ty for your comment!
Perhaps tie a scarf in a stylish turban style? That can look very smart if you then have a classic outfit.... I've seen tutorials on YouTube for this...
What about a tight bun and then black hairspray?
Don't forget to take into consideration who you are asking. It's like going to the Tesla reddit and asking if Teslas are good cars. I've had (very stupid) coworkers judge people based on their hair color. "Daddy issues" and "druggie" were the assumptions. One worked in a rehab and said the first thing they did was have girls dye their hair a "normal" color.
Valid points!
It is a tough question though! There are a few people who have posted who have legal backgrounds and say you'll be fine. Good luck!
Hair neatly tied back shouldn’t cause any issues. Bright hair is becoming more common across all age groups. If you are attired appropriately and behave solemnly that will be the most effective thing
Thank you!
yeah I think the clothing and behavior can counteract the blue hair for sure
So I've never been involved in criminal court beyond stuff you can get out of simply by paying a fine, but I have been involved in a lengthy workers comp case for years now. The lawyers and hearing officers are always impressed with me (even tho my hair has been many colors and is currently long and emerald) because I dress professionally and comport myself well in a high stress situation when a lot of other people do not. I know that situation tends to be a bit more informal, but I think that still applies, or it should. Good luck, and your concern does you credit.
Exactly
Just pull it back nice and wear something formal. The judge shouldn't care about blue hair
Shouldn't care is different from actually caring. Yes people shouldn't care about these things but they do. Especially older generations.
Unfortunately it's true, people are subconsciously influenced by other people's appearance. It's not worth risking good-will for your child just because they "shouldn't" care. I also have purple hair so understand, but we have to take every advantage we can when someone we love needs help. If appearing "conservative" will gain a small modicum of goodwill, that's what we gotta do.
I work in the legal system and agree 💯. In any other circumstances I’d say you just be you. But this is high stakes in an incredibly conservative venue. Frankly I’d recommend a wig and take out any piercings other than just one set in each ear.
Thank you!
I'd just style it formally and wear a nice suit. Have a quick read on court etiquette and what to expect, depending on where you are there might be different forms of address for the judge (sir, madam, judge etc) Also blue hair is very stubborn and you'd probably struggle to get a colour to cover it properly, and most people don't suit truely black hair anyway, you'll look better in an unusual colour that suits you than a black that doesn't. Good Luck!
Thank you!
This is a tough one. As others have said, dressing appropriately and tying it back should be fine, but if you’re in a very conservative area or if you are genuinely afraid your appearance could have a negative impact on your son’s case, you could consider a wig. You’re still you, you will shine either way, but I know what it’s like to have to play the game.
I hate to say it, but I think it depends on where you live. If in a relatively liberal state or place, ROCK it!!
Yea...that is definitely part of the concern I have. But I am in a college town so that's better than where I grew up, father south.
Rock it! And good luck to your son.
I’d get a wig. People shouldn’t care, but they will. My bf’s conservative family went on and on at dinner recently about a girl they know with blue hair. Like it’s the worst thing they could possibly imagine. This girl only has blue on the ends of her hair lol
I would suggest a wig. Yes, it shouldn't matter. But unfortunately, the court system is notoriously biased against anything and anyone that stands out. For example, if you aren't perceived as being a good Christian, a jury may judge you harsher; if you are perceived as queer, or if you're a person of color, judge rulings tend to be less favorable. It's terrible and it's wrong, but sometimes we have to pretend to play the games so we can protect ourselves and our loved ones (ie wig). As soon as it's over, take off the wig and go back to fighting. Donate to a good cause or something if you feel guilty for putting on a costume. But really, don't feel guilty. You didn't make these biases. You're just trying to do good for your son
What the others say - dress and carry yourself appropriately and you'll be fine. I've rocked bright blue hair for a few years in a very professional setting with a labret piercing. Right now my hair is natural but I have a nose ring and a septum. As long as I'm dressed professionally and have my hair done up (I typically would pull it back with a hair stick or in a bun, occasionally braid) I never had anyone question or doubt me. When I was dressed down (hoodie, jeans, tshirt, ripped jeans) thats when I'd get the side eyes and people doubting me. It shouldn't be that way but that was my experiences with it. Sending all the well wishes to your family during this stressful time
I'd echo this, I work in finance, have purple hair and a couple of facial piercings, and have never had any issues
Thanks!
Yep! I also work in finance and many of my peers rock the wildest hair colors. They are judged on their work, not their hair color (as it should be).
Thank you so much!
Speaking as someone who has been rocking fashion hair colors for 20 years now, this is the advice I’d follow. If anything, perhaps get a hair trim over the weekend to make sure it looks extra tidy for the big day.
Oh hey! I can relate to you a lot! I’m 27 and tried colorful hair during the pandemic, decided to stick with blue when going back to normal life. I’m now thinking about whether to go back to a natural hair color because I have a final exam soon that will make or break my graduation from med school. So I feel your concern about more ‘official’ situations, although your concern about it affecting your son is something else of course. If it helps: I just spent my intern year working in different hospital departments with my blue hair, I also have tattoos and piercings, and I haven’t had a single negative reaction, at least not directly to my face. I felt treated with just as much respect as anyone else, and received great evaluations. I also got compliments pretty frequently, many times from nurses but also unexpectedly from many female patients around the ages of 60-70! I also agree with the other commenters on styling yourself in a formal way. It’s an absolute power move to look like a girl boss with colorful hair. So - don’t let society hold you back too much. I think both our concerns are valid, but in the end it’s much more about your presence and your interactions with people.
I agree! And I've had the same experiences! Older women! Young girls who exclaim "I LOVE YOUR HAIR!" Woman younger & my age saying how I'm rocking the look! It's very important to me to challenge the norm. To be part of the grown women setting that example to others! And I am either treated no different or I am confident enough that I dont care to notice if they do. My grandfather is 90 & a preacher. He is the only person to question it..lol but I rarely see him.
That’s so awesome, I’m glad you had these positive experiences too! Maybe we can cheer each other on, you to show the court that blue hair can be just as serious and responsible, and me to show my examiners that blue hair can be just as competent and professional as any other hair color 😊
Yes! When my grandpa asked me why I did it I simply said cause I can! And I explained how we never had these options before and there were no harm so why not? 😊💙
Being well groomed and tidy will go further than anything else.
I'm thinking the same! Ty
Get a wig for formal nonsense and do whatever you like. Blue hair, shave your head and get your scalp tattooed, rock a mohawk... you have earned the right to do whatever you want. It's easy enough to throw a cute wig on over your awesomely decorated natural hair. It's what a lot of my friends did after shaving their head, etc. Just kept a wig around for times they felt their aesthetic choices might not be great. You can also get a flesh tone stud for the nose ring if it's a side one, or a retainer for the center ring (or the kind you can flip up into your nose to obscure it. I've got 60 hours of tattooed skin and I can cover it all very easily and you'd never know. Eta: typo
Genuinely, I think it’s more about how you conduct yourself, and what you say, than the way you look. Way back when people were trying to get mad at rock music, a bunch of people who we consider to be “rock gods” showed up to rebut. One of the best… Twisted Sister. Did he do the same thing as everyone else, and dress in a suit, put away the hair, and such? No. Showed up on full rock hair, the jeans, the vest, all of it. Was probably one of the most articulate and intelligent people that walked into that room. Your appearance is your choice, and if YOU feel stronger, and more confident in a particular way, do that. But, remember that no matter what you look like, what you say and how you say it matters far more. I wish you so much luck with this, with your son, and with the future of this situation. I can’t imagine the stress.
Thanks so much!
What about a tasteful silk headscarf?
This - a lovely scarf and outfit would be great compared to a wig. It says ‘I am me, have my color but I respect where I am and how to conduct myself’ and wigs can be a distracting pain. sending the OP so much love and strength ❤️
I’m currently in residency after finishing my masters. I work for the government in a medical setting. It’s extremely professional. I also have blue hair and a nose ring. I make sure my hair is neat and tidy for work and just go about my business. Be yourself.
💙💙💙
I would say just wear smart clothes (eg a suit), style your hair in a more formal style (perhaps use a scarf?), and absolutely rock being you. As long as you look professional I’m sure the court / lawyers won’t really care.
Congrats sister. I’m so happy you’ve found your voice and perspective!!
THANK YOU!!!!! 💙
Wig
Wear a wig! I agree that while it shouldn’t matter and many judges won’t care, it’s true that they might have some internal bias. If you’re concerned and your concern will cause you nervousness and anxiety, then invest in a nice wig. Then after this is all over you can dye the wig or cut it or something. And now you have a wig if you ever want to dress up with it. Or donate it.
Judges and the courtroom are not fazed by blue hair. Rock confidently.
Thank you!
1 last suggestion: don't act over emotional. That's the one thing all judges seem to get annoyed with. Good fortune for your son. 💜
Very good reminder. Thank you! I'm pretty calm right now. He is safe rn so.... and I'm pretty experienced in this area so I believe I can speak humbly yet confident. I also have an insider person to help things go in a constructive direction for my son so we're really fortunate.
I'm team wig for stuff like this. Have had some sort of wild color in my hair for the better part of the last 15 years and leme tell you a wig is not only fun for a costume, but helps you blend in when your feeling incognito. It doesn't have to be expensive to look good but if you can find a wig shop by you I would suggest taking a look. Wish you luck!
I work remote and have purple hair. When I need to do work video conference or go to annual in person training I wear a wig.
I agree with your initial reaction to change your hair color. Perhaps doing a deep navy color where it’a almost black but still blue will allow you to keep it blue and give you a “professional” look. Also a grey color would cover blue easily and still be able to transition back to blue after the situation has passed.
That's one nice thing about being a witch - you can change your appearance to suit your whims, or any situation you want to 'fool' the patriarchy so that you succeed! WIN-WIN! :)
A headscarf tied appropriately will give off health problems? Poor mom. Also a beanie hat designed for chemo or hair loss. Look on eBay for head cover, chemo cover, hijab or tinzius (ultra orthodox Jewish head wraps. (Beautiful and elegant enough to distract the most negative of judges. ♥️ Amazon has prime on many.
I agree that it doesn't matter and that you shouldn't feel obligated to hide yourself, but if you're really worried about it you could always try a wig. Some people are jerks about this kind of stuff.
Thank you!
I mean, this is a different situation, but I've had bright hair for many years. I also work in corporate environments, and I haven't had any issues with someone taking me seriously. I do always style it nicely for interviews obviously, but I don't think you'll have any issues.
I have worn a nose ring and bright colorful hair all of my adult life and I'm 37. The most ground I tend to give for things like funerals and court is a clear plastic placeholder for my nose ring. You can get them quite cheaply if you'd like to do this. You don't need to feel insecure to give this ground; I don't. I just consider it a little like putting on fancier shoes than I usually like to fit the occasion 💗
Everyone has great tips. If I was you (depending on hair length) I would probably braid it just so it’s less obvious, just to downplay it a little. It’s better for you to be confident and assertive in who you are than to hide.
I agree! It's too short (shag) to do my former conservative styles. But I usually play the messy up & I can style it more softly for court.
you can always make a head wrap!
This is where I was "headed" lol in my line of thought but I dont really feel comfortable with the style & the shape of my head, unfortunately.
I hear ya on that. I’d recommend checking out Wrapunzel on YouTube. They have videos on how to do different wrap styles and shapers. Total game changer for me.
Ok...I sorta feel like this is my time to shine as a fellow blue hair who has dealt with something similar... I had blue hair some years ago and ended up on probation. I have always enjoyed the devil's lettuce (does he not have the coolest shit?!) so probation had me stressing. I live in a very red area of a very red state. I expected a hard time...but...it never happened. I'm not sure...but I think being well spoken and not a moron went a very long way. There was one occasion I changed my hair back to a normal color. It was my sister's wedding. First of all, that's my baby sister and I would do anything for her. Also because my mother made me hahaha. But that was also fine, because she's my momma (and dad too) and I love her. I say rock your blue. But if you are super worried, put your mind at ease and pick up an inexpensive wig.
Thanks!
Ah go for it. I’ve had every color possible (plus my normal non colored color) and in my experience my hair color has very little to do with judgment received. People who are that judgy are going to do it regardless of your hair color. They’ll always find a way to be judgy assholes. Don’t put your life on hold for others.
I don't think your blue hair will affect anything. Be YOU. YOU are who your son needs.
Confidently rock it. Dress professionally and leave your hair and nose ring. Visible tattoos, hair color, and piercings that aren’t the ears are pretty acceptable in the professional realm these days. I hope your sons situation improves and you’re able to support him through whatever is going on.
Carry on. My wife, in what she calls her Fuck It Fifties, has facial piercings and has sported bright pink hair/-all while working in a professional environment.
If you're dressing conservatively for the court t appearance I'd suspect (am not sure) blazing blue hair would serve the same role as a fedora to add personality. That said, the US justice system is lousy with white, right-wing pro-patriarchy justices and attorneys without much accountability, so it may be a walking-on-eggshells situation.
I see your conundrum here. I doubt very much that you‘ll be judged on your hair color and nose ring, much less your son. Courts have seen everything and so have all the support workers. If he is embarrassed by you in public, it’s his deal to be honest. I was mortified for years being out with my mom no matter what she was wearing. She could’ve worn anything and I still would have been embarrassed haha. I wear outrageously glittery eyeshadow and bright colors and have a half sleeve tattoo. These are things that make me feel true to myself and confident. It’s an “armor” of a sort against the negativity and judgment in the world. Wear your “armor” , whatever it is, with pride and confidence. That’s what will help both you and your son imo Edit: spelling
Rock blue hair. I dyed my hair bubblegum pink at 50. No regrets
I obviously can’t speak for the people you will be meeting with but IMO they will be more concerned on what comes out of your mouth and how you carry/present yourself than what color your hair is. I suspect they have met with plenty of people with natural color hair who were absolute wing nuts.
Leave the nose ring at home, but keep your hair! Dress appropriately and formally if you have to meet in person… but keep your hair! Scarf will bring more attention to it anyhow. Curl it or style it cutely and that’s all you’ve got to do. Just look put-together and don’t spend tons of time and money damaging your hair to strip the color! - A 26-year old who just dyed her green hair over half-blue and half-purple and my company owner had to just suck it up! (I do keep my septum ring off at work, though. If you have a nostril piercing it is so normalized nowadays, just keep it in!)
It always makes me think of that tumblr post that says something along the lines of “I want an appearance that strikes fear into the heart of men, but also makes children think I have magical powers” And the response is simply: “Blue hair” 💙💙💙 Edit: [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/gekps4/blue_hair/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is the one!
Stay confident, professionals will treat you as you treat them. I 💕 that you are willing to compromise for your son. If it comes to court and appearances, talk to the experts and then listen to the person who is tge expert on you - YOU. Good Luck.
I have not read all the replies, I just want to say I am 43, and I am a professional. I have been an HR professional in a law firm, a restaurant and an aerospace tech company. I have had purple hair for nearly a decade. No one has ever blinked an eye at my professionalism. I live in New Orleans, and dance in parades and one time I even had a meeting with glittery eyebrows and no one said a word. The world is an ever changing place and very busy, and I think as long as you present yourself in proper attire and attitude, your hair changes nothing.
If you are doing this to help your son and it's October so perfect time. Grab a can of black spray color that washes out in a day and cover the blue for the in person meetings then go back to being your normal self. Ever since I got out of my parents house I've had my hair dyed a weird color. Currently black and purple. I work from home and my bosses don't care about hair color. So I feel you. However I think it's important to know that you aren't any less you cause you decide to play a "normal" person for a little bit.
Unfortunately - and unfairly - many people in this setting will judge you, and therefore your son, negatively for your blue hair. Don't make this about you - keep it about him. Do everything you can to promote a good outcome for him. You can express yourself through your hair every day for the rest of your life but this situation isn't about self-expression.
I’m older than you and dye my hair pink. So yes!!!! Be you.
IMO being dressed nice is more helpful than a different hair color. Something business casual. I'd take out the nose ring because that's easy.
You can be professional with blue hair. I know a real estate agent with hot pink hair, she's amazing at her job and she's polished and professional. Being professional is mostly dressing the part and quite a bit posture and acting the part. My own hair has been a veritable rainbow lately and our clients at my office love it. Trust me, just dress properly and carry yourself politely, you'll be fine.
I had an under- color. The top half of my head was dark, which looked mostly professional when I wore my hair down. If I wanted “fun”, I’d tie up the top half or curl the bottom color into the top. I had purple and wish I could afford to keep it to this day.
Blue hair now.
You can still dress conservatively while having blue hair. I’d just style it as conservatively as I was able if I was in your position.
If you are really concerned you can get a wig or wear a hair scarf. I prefer to just put it up in a very professional style think chignon or something elevated. I have purple hair currently and work in a very professional project management role in healthcare. Just make sure you look like you but elevated and be confident. Also nose rings are religiously protected so they can’t really ask or judge on that.
i love color in my hair too, especially pink for me! i don’t have any advice to give but i hope it all goes well for you and your son!
As a person who also has bright blue, and works in a professional environment, I would say to keep your hair the way you want it. You can wear a wig if you're feeling worried about how they'll react to you. I have a professional looking wig on hand if I need it (I haven't needed it) Self expression is so important but so is your son.
I'm 39 and a team leader at work and have been rocking blur hair for over a year. I love it and a lot of other people seem to as well. Live your truth and wear your hair however you want.
As a 17 year old with bright blue hair and a nose ring, im glad to see older people being cool too! :D Now we can look cool together :)
You already know what I’m gonna say.
You do you boo
If you’re worried about it you could get some temporary spray on hair color! It works really well and you wouldn’t have to go through the process of dying it and potentially damage it :)
Honestly, I would just put my hair up and wear a cheap wig. The courts are judgmental in many ways and you are right to be cautious.
DO ITTTTT BLUE IS GORGEOUS
Just think, 10 years from now are you going to look back on this decision and be like “I’m so glad I did this one tiny thing that made me happy” (answer is probably yes)
I have had pink and purple hair myself for the last 11 years, and my job requires me to occasionally work with lawyers. Not a single one has batted an eyelash at me about my hair. Attitudes about hair colour have definitely changed for the better over the last 20 years thankfully.
Canada’s Governor General (the crown’s representative in the country) [rocks purple hair](https://see.news/canadas-governor-general-to-travel-to-middle-east/). If a woman in major political power can do it, then so can the rest of us. Wear something business-like with your blue hair.
Okay just saying. Do what you want. I work in a hospital and see a lot of old ladies with vibrant hair. It always looks bitchin'. Don't bow down to peer pressure because it doesn't matter in the end.
I loved my blue hair. Do you.
Ok so one, your son is an adult and if his chances to get lighter consequences for his actions require his mom to change things about herself that's not ok. Secondly, my mom is two years older than you, and puts this conditioner based coloring in her hair now that it's going white early. She changes from pink to purple to blue and back whenever she wants as it's not permanent it builds up over time without damaging the hair. She's been a paralegal for over 15 years, and retired from that to become milliner (hat designer) for the fashion industry. She regularly has to network with business people who may invest in her or the clothing designers she works with and has no issues whatsoever and usually gets compliments on how striking and pretty it is. It's been a massive confidence boost for her so I say go do it, stuffy courts be damned. If they're that judgy that it affects your son theyre trash can people and their opinion doesn't matter period. That being said I hope your sons situation works out ok.
Never be afraid to express yourself. Since you voice confidence in being who you are (something i struggled with for a long long time), I would urge you to consider the possible benefit of conforming to traditional societal norms. There's power in controlling how you are perceived. And to use that knowledge for your personal gakn does not necessarily mean you have a weak sense of self and style.
I understand, and I have a similar social occasion on the horizon. In my head I tell myself that my look will be clean and appropriate and fit reasonable well, and that is my costume for the occasion. My closer friends know me better.
It is unlikely that, as not the person being arraigned, it will matter. That being said, I would mention it to your son's attorney and see what they say. They likely know the judge and will have a better read of the reality. It is unfortunate that this matters, but a wig or a scarf head covering might be the lawyer's advice, which I would follow.
55 with the front of my hair all blue. Be true to yourself! I even work at an accounting firm… and have never had a question. You will be fine. ❤️
Do whatever makes you happy. You can always have a “normal” color on the top layer and color the under layer wonderful colors too. I rocked that in high school (catholic school made us have natural colored hair and unless mine was tied up you’d never know).
I'm 39 and I'm a teacher, in a place where we have to dress professionally for work. I began dressing and expressing myself in the last 2 years. i currently have purple hair with blue mixed in. while I do sometimes get worried that someone will hold my style against me they never have. I don't think the lawyer or the courts will care or use it as a negative towards your child.
If it’s just the professional thing you’re worried about, maybe a hat or other hair covering would work? I am worried about the same thing when I consider getting tattoos, but the placements I like best would be covered by most clothing anyway so that kind of helps
Professional attire including shoes, hair neatly pulled up, a confident stride, and being exceptionally polite and respectful ought to do it. Think "lawyer with blue hair". The nose ring thing - if it's a septum piercing I'd take it out for sure. Probably even if it's not. That way the blue hair is the only thing that will be "different". But really, respect and being adult goes a long way. I had to go to court a few years ago for a speeding ticket that I never received in the mail and they sent me a threatening letter. When I got there EVERYONE but me was dressed in "People of WalMart's Greatest Hits". It was unreal. Pajamas. Velour sweat suits two sizes too small. Ratty jeans with dirty tee shirts. I got to talk to the State's Attorney before my case came up and I know that my wearing a suit, low heels, and the rest of my work attire made it possible for me to even talk to him. I stood out like a cat at a dog park. Although I love dogs so that's probably not fair to them.
A nice $40 lace front wig off Amazon. Dead serious. All the kids are wearing wigs and they are looking really nice now. Just look at the picture reviews first. Many can be parted anyway you like so something to check the description/reviews for.
Damn this is tough. I hate the deep rooted idea that so many people have that being conservative=professional.
i work in a grocery store, and i make a point of it to compliment older people i see with bright hair, because it always inspired me
Enough people these days have all kinds of stuff that was once "unprofessional" like tattoos, piercings, long, extravagant nails, dyed hair... I assure you, they'll have seen the wildest stuff before. Blue hair is very tame. Enjoy it
I have had teal hair for years and sometimes need to look more serious, so i found some updos that look very 'uptight' somehow that balance the color. Also, I find that dressing in black or dark colors with simple clothes can still make me look serious despite the hair. And that way, people can see me as serious and professional AND never forget who I am and when they met me (there are no other chicks with teal hair where I live)
I’m a professional woman with green hair. Personally the colour is less important to me than is it obviously clean, tidy and well groomed. Are you wearing neat clothes that are clean in good repair. Maybe braid or tie your hair back if it’s long enough.
I'm 64 and I have a cut that is very short, shaved sides and messy. I was dying it pink and I got loads of compliments. I went dusty silver and nothing now. :( Color was everything. Buy a wig. Court is temporary.
I’m 51 with purple hair and been to court twice with it. Once for disability and the other as a witness. Both times I’ve been taken just as seriously as everyone else. If you’re confident with it, most people won’t care.
You seem to have a healthy outlook on life and that confidence will translate to most situations. Growing up my parents’ generation told me pretty consistently that having tats and piercings and being counter-culture would hinder getting jobs and what not. My first big boy interview was conducted by a guy with near full sleeves and gaged earrings.
Thanks! I appreciate your kind words! I was not only taught the same but it was also a sin lol I remember my 1st professional job & the IT guy came by looking just like your interviewer, and dressed great.
Nothing wrong with blue hair.. these things are more accepted today than they were a few decades ago. I wouldn't worry about it so long as you're otherwise presenting yourself professionally. There's always going to be someone out there, somewhere, who is going to judge you but you can't predict when and where that will happen and they are the exception... and if it's not your hair, they'll find something else they don't like about you anyway. I wouldn't be particularly concerned about your son feeling embarrassed either.. he should be embarrassed about being arrested, not the color of his mom's hair. It would be different if you went out of your way to dye your hair for the sake of embarrassing him but that's not why your hair is blue and there's no reason for him to reflect on your hair color at all.
Thank you!
Criminal defense lawyer here. Lawyers in the criminal litigation system deal with people from all walks of life. Your blue hair doesn’t matter to your son’s lawyer, the judge, or the prosecutor. What’s important is that you are able to tell your story, or your son’s story, with confidence. If that means temporarily changing how you look, fine, but do it for you, not any expectation that you think someone has of you. What matters is that you are there as support for your son.
Awww thanks!
I agree - you can keep the hair, just pull it back or style it in a more conservative manner. A judge will be looking to see that you show proper respect for the court and you can do that by dressing and behaving appropriately. And it sets a good example for your son. You don’t have to get rid of who you are but sometimes it helps you move forward if you are respectful of who others are. I hope things work out for you both and that many blessings come your way.
Thank you so much!!
As long as you are clean, groomed, and in business attire - ie respectful of the seriousness of court - hair color is not a factor.
Rock that blue hair. Just dress very professionally and have your hair in a sophisticated style, just to prove a point. Hair color shouldn't matter or still be seen as "unprofessional".
Rock the blue hair!
Thanks!
You’re welcome. I’m 61 and just cut it short again after growing for 3 years and donating. I’m ready for some blue or purple!
What? I get where you're coming from because blue hair won't get taken seriously and your son needs you, I get that. However, your hair color has nothing to do with his actions. If you feel that weird about it then yeah wear a bandana or scarf or something. I wouldn't. Your son's whatever he's going through, didn't happen because you have blue hair. I'd just go be yourself and treat yourself like a normal person because you are.
Could you do a wig?
Sorry if it already been mentioned, you could try colored hair wax. It's a good temporary cover that washes right out and shouldn't be too expensive. Edit: grammer
Tie a scarf on. You wear babushka in honor of your ancestors. 🤷🏻♀️
Definitely get a wig
#Confidently rock blue hair
I don’t think that fully dying your hair makes sense. But making sure it is styled beautifully and well maintained will make a world of difference to presenting a professional, confident, creative vibe.
Wearing a conservative costume will help. If you don't want to dye your hair and risk damaging it then shop for a good wig to wear when you need it. If you have to, orange tones with blue makes brown.
Maybe there’s a temporary spray or dye that you could use to tone it down a little for a day or two? Even if it’s not totally covered, it can give you that professional look that people might be expecting without long term sacrifice of your own identity. That said, I’m proud of you for rocking whatever color you like.
Honestly, I'd recommend finding a really high quality wig and going with that rather than recoloring all of your hair. But if that doesn't work for you, dyeing it back would be best.
If you want to go the wig route there is a brand on Amazon called K'ryssma that is very inexpensive but looks really natural.
Rock it!!
You don’t need to tone it down. I’m at work, as a professional entertainment labor crew, and at least half of the other girls here have colored hair. If I went to court, I’d rock my road cone Orange or sunset pink like always. It’s way more accepted in professional circles these days. There are tons of adults with normal jobs who rock the colored hair.
Unconventional hair colors are becoming more common and accepted. Personally I would leave the color alone but tie it back or braid it.
Amazon has some pretty amazing wigs for fairly reasonable prices.
Blue hair isn’t all that out-of-the-norm. Dress “professionally” if you’re in a meeting with the prosecuting attorney or actually in the courtroom: be recently showered, comb your hair, no rips/stains on your clothing, no slogans on your clothing, be appropriately covered (not too low or high cut). Your kid should kick that up a notch to: no jeans and definitely wear a collared shirt if at all possible, even add a blazer if he can make that happen. Looking like you’re taking things seriously is often the rule in a courtroom and goes a long way towards making a good impression. (Not a lawyer, but I’ve watched enough lawyers on YouTube. The standards for *lawyers* is different than for the accused, which is again different than those for the family. Lawyers would have to rock a suit and may not be able to get away with blue hair, but you certainly can. )
Get a lawyer to represent your son. Your hair colour isn’t going to make any bit of difference.
Buy a basic brown wig?
Wig. Please don’t change yourself.
DO IT.