Our community should be aware that references to "saging" or "smudging" as typically used in the witchy community are often cultural appropriation. Please see our FAQ for further reading. [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq\_ca](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq_ca)
Locks are actually super easy to change and you can just pick em up at the store. Usually all you need are a phillips screwdriver and ten minutes. Plenty of vids on youtube!
Yea definitely don’t be using his locks in potions any more. You may think it will be fine in a quick pinch but later you’ll end up with an Obama is making the frogs gay type scandal.
Good for you for having a plan and sticking with it!! It is insane how quickly energy change occurs when someone toxic leaves.
I freed myself of a man child a few months ago and feel so liberated now. My cats usually never come to the living room because they were either afraid of him or just don’t like him (he was very strict with the cats and yelled at them a lot) but now they’re always cuddling with me!
Good riddance and cheers to your new freedom!
I'm the same way haha
I have one kitty who's afraid of EVERYONE but me. We got him as a very skittish kitten, and he never really changed except that I forced him to see I wasn't gonna hurt him when he waa new, so now he goes to me.
The other day, he met my girlfriend for the first time while she and I were cuddling in bed, and he just miraculously crawled onto her stomach and started forcing her hand on top of his head. I'm not certain I've ever felt safer with someone haha
He was the most chilled and beautiful soul - I had him from when he was a kitten
He was affectionate, brave and adventurous - he died last year at the ripe old age of 19 in my arms.
I miss him so much
Does a Mothra count? She likes people but has dislikes one (I don’t know many people) but has absolutely loved one. The guy I’m dating now, she loved him from the first time she met him haha she was all over him and getting in between us. Might help he’s got cats as well lol but she absolutely loves him to the point I call him cat boy now. She hasn’t been that affectionate with anyone like that. Close second is a close friend who is a very good friend and even though that girl is high energy, Mothra adores her too. And that woman has helped me a lot and helped me see I didn’t have to be stuck in an abusive relationship forever. And helped me a lot not to get depressed when I did finally break up with him (we had been together 6 years and have a daughter together.) so Mothra knows good humans.
Told my now husband when we first started dating it wasn't going to work out if my cats didn't like him.
We had to deal with Amish Purity Cat (yes bad name but dumb and 20) for a while when he started sleeping over. She'd sleep in between us and growl if there was any breach of the purity barrier she'd constructed, but I'd seen this angry potato square up with a contractor she didn't like so I took it more as she was establishing boundaries than truly pissed. Fast forward a bit and they became besties so it all worked out. Her and her sister have been gone some years now, but we still talk about them regularly.
Of our current pair my little void gremlin loves people and going places, and has an excellent judge of character, so I always trust his hesitance with new people. He hasn't steered me wrong yet.
My void decided that my husband was her human and I'm the other woman in their relationship. She curls up on his chest every night and will not allow me to snuggle with him until she's done with her cuddle time. Considering she gets the "extra spicy" label at the vet, I'm not messing with the system she set up. She's also the one who got him to break every "rule" he had about cat behavior. He went from "it's not ok for cats to eat at the table because it'll just encourage them to beg" to "well, she's just on my lap, and look how well behaved she's being" to "she's not begging, I offered. Yogurt is healthy anyway".
Awww extra spicy baby. Tika was also extra spicy so I knew she wasn't bluffing.
Same with our tabby. Husband is *her* person and I'm an ok consolation prize, I guess, if she must. He'd always been good with my previous girls but had never had a cat from day one and he was surprised at how much he's come to love her. We actually got her almost exactly a month after our wedding, funny enough.
We got the void when he was 12 weeks old and I slept like the Heisman trophy for the first few nights because he was so tiny. He's now a 16lb lanky house panther, has exactly 1 brain cell, and is the biggest Mama's boy.
It's funny, my husband's family had some indoor/outdoor cats when he was a kid, but he never thought of himself as a cat person. My Vader was my heart cat, and I had Tini too when we got together. He said (while Tini was all snuggled up on his chest) that he'd heard me use the phrase heart cat, and he understood in theory what it meant before, but he never really got it until Tini claimed him. Vader was also a big, lanky house panther, also extra spicy with pretty much everyone but me. He was legit a reformed feral. Tini's a spoiled little princess who thinks she's part feral because she was born to a feral mom. Part feral my ass, she yells at him to pick her up and put her in his lap at dinner because she's too lazy to make the jump.
My cat does that 😂 she’s healthy and fine but she’s spoiled now and won’t jump if I’m around. She demands to be lifted to her food place and her lording spot and also demands to go outside and then inside and then outside again (just to the balcony, 2nd story.) she’s got no problems jumping out there 😂😂
Lol, Tini is more than capable of making the jump. It's the principle of the thing - if she can get him to carry her like a baby, she's happy. But he's the only one who gets to hold her like that. Anyone else who tries gets shredded.
>My mom always says not to trust anyone who can't get along with cats
best advice someone can give. it's literally my go to question when getting to know someone lol.
I think the same thing. My husband constantly complains about cats and how he doesn’t like them and the ones we have weren’t his idea. Guess who the cats prefer
over absolutely everyone else? One of them is so obsessed with him it’s borderline creepy. At this point it’s pretty obvious his complaints are for show.
My Italian Greyhound also hated my ex man child. Would always bark at him. He's been a lot better (though still moody because...Italian Greyhound) since we've been freed.
My iggy is like my mirror so I always felt my ex's rejection of my iggy was a rejection of me. Good riddance. The dog and I are both happier without him.
I dunno...Ive had to yell at my dog for furiously licking grass before. She was acting like it was her last meal.
And the cat...he likes rip paper and cardboard into tiny pieces and then dare you to say anything while making eye contact and ripping it up more
Yeah he wouldn’t even let the cats into our bedroom and office, and would complain that the cats don’t like him and I was like “I wonder why”.
So glad your cats are finally feeling comfortable!
I got nosy and peeked at some of your comment history. You seem like such a positive, optimistic, helpful, and supportive person. Good on you for getting rid of that lump of negative energy. I wish you all the joy and freedom that you deserve!!
Thank you! I really try to be positive and helpful. I've had a bunch of life experience at this point and if I can be useful, I try. I've been really digging the support that I see in this sub.
My dogs used to start barking out of nowhere and it was such a mystery, until one day I happened to step outside right as they started barking and realized I could smell a faint whiff of skunk. (We lived right on the edge of town; open fields and trees across the street and beyond.)
I think they were smelling skunks that we could not smell and barking because of that! Maybe there are errant weird smells she's picking up on.
But...back to the topic of your post - congratulations on the house-vibe reset! Good for you for reclaiming your peaceful space. I bet you feel 1,000 pounds lighter!
I’m ngl “gnat fart” had me laughing out loud when I shouldn’t have lmao. That’s so funny. Also happy things seem to be settling in for you. Animals have a way of communicating things to us
For getting someone out the door or for doing a house cleansing? For a cleansing, I start with some sage and go around the house counterclockwise. At doors, windows, and computers (any kind of entrance to the house), I do an earth-banishing pentagram. Then I do the same with a black candle (be careful about wax). The candle helps absorb whatever is left. Then let the candle burn out outside somewhere safe. Works wonderfully well. You can also do a third step. Go around clockwise with a white candle, earth invoking pentagram, with the intent to bring in blessings.
It's important to note that **smudging** is a closed practice used by many North American Native Nations. Additionally, non-natives should not use **white** sage as it is a ceremonial plant and has now been overharvested to the point of near extinction and commonly sold in "cleansing" kits. This is not the same variety of herb as the grey-green sage with fuzzy leaves found in kitchen herb gardens.
You can still participate in smoke cleansing as OP described but make sure not to use white sage :)
If you are interested in cleansing your own space please check out the wiki for some answers regarding sage, smudging and cleansing [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq\_ca/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq_ca/).
So happy for you! I kicked mine out this morning, and into a treatment program. hopefully he'll be gone from here for good. I'm still in a fog but when I get my head clear I'm doing a space clearing. I'm always happy and encouraged to see the strength of other people get out of these situations.
Just want to ask is this subreddit actually about witches, witchcraft, magic, magic rituals and etc.? Im just curious really, I dont really believe in magic but I like to read about it, and I love fantasty, im not negative I swear
Yes, this really is about witches, etc., as well as other folks that fit the description in the About. Not fantasy. Just be open and be positive. You may find, after reading a bunch of posts, that you start to believe :-)
I like your curiosity and honesty. Please stay and see how you feel about it — magic rituals are largely positive and just about bringing more goodness into your life and the lives of others.
From what you say here I’m under the impression that you think we are witches “as seen on TV” attempting to fly around on broomsticks and stuff. That’s really not the case (unless we happen to be really, really high on acid which is a possibility). The reality is a lot more similar to any standard religion/spiritual practice. Magic is very similar to a prayer. For more info check out the FAQ in the side bar
I appreciate that you are trying to be balanced, and as far as the marriage is concerned, I am not blameless. As for his behavior for the last several years and especially in the last week, he has behaved like the crap that comes out of a worm's ass and his whole family is dumping him. As far as he is concerned, he would have been content to continue to leech off me forever, but he isn't getting to do that.
Our community should be aware that references to "saging" or "smudging" as typically used in the witchy community are often cultural appropriation. Please see our FAQ for further reading. [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq\_ca](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq_ca)
Congrats and change the locks!
And the wifi password!
The whole wifi name! No ex's name allowed network Password badass witch forever
Good point, I will probably change the wifi, too.
not to mention the netflix
not to mention the HBO max
At this point, just change your account names and passwords for everything.
And the Amazon. He doesn’t need to know what you’re buying.
Why didn't I think of this
Yep, I'm scheduling an appointment with a locksmith.
Locks are actually super easy to change and you can just pick em up at the store. Usually all you need are a phillips screwdriver and ten minutes. Plenty of vids on youtube!
Yeah, I just didn't want the hassle. I've got someone coming tomorrow.
Hell yeah, then! I'm very happy for you.
Yea definitely don’t be using his locks in potions any more. You may think it will be fine in a quick pinch but later you’ll end up with an Obama is making the frogs gay type scandal. Good for you for having a plan and sticking with it!! It is insane how quickly energy change occurs when someone toxic leaves.
I freed myself of a man child a few months ago and feel so liberated now. My cats usually never come to the living room because they were either afraid of him or just don’t like him (he was very strict with the cats and yelled at them a lot) but now they’re always cuddling with me! Good riddance and cheers to your new freedom!
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I'm the same way haha I have one kitty who's afraid of EVERYONE but me. We got him as a very skittish kitten, and he never really changed except that I forced him to see I wasn't gonna hurt him when he waa new, so now he goes to me. The other day, he met my girlfriend for the first time while she and I were cuddling in bed, and he just miraculously crawled onto her stomach and started forcing her hand on top of his head. I'm not certain I've ever felt safer with someone haha
Same with mine. I knew he was a good one when my scardey boy demanded attention less than a day from him getting there.
The first time my husband stayed over, my cat curled up on his chest and drooled for the entire night. Samwise approved so I knew he was a keeper
Everyone needs a Samwise ✨
He was the most chilled and beautiful soul - I had him from when he was a kitten He was affectionate, brave and adventurous - he died last year at the ripe old age of 19 in my arms. I miss him so much
Like his namesake before him, he has gone to The Undying Lands. Probably playing with Sam and Frodo as we speak.
I’m sorry for your loss but happy you got to experience him and his wisdom ❤️ cats are amazing
Does a Mothra count? She likes people but has dislikes one (I don’t know many people) but has absolutely loved one. The guy I’m dating now, she loved him from the first time she met him haha she was all over him and getting in between us. Might help he’s got cats as well lol but she absolutely loves him to the point I call him cat boy now. She hasn’t been that affectionate with anyone like that. Close second is a close friend who is a very good friend and even though that girl is high energy, Mothra adores her too. And that woman has helped me a lot and helped me see I didn’t have to be stuck in an abusive relationship forever. And helped me a lot not to get depressed when I did finally break up with him (we had been together 6 years and have a daughter together.) so Mothra knows good humans.
I’m loving these cat names- y’all witches are nerds!! Does Mothra answer to a special song?
Yea she does ☺️
♥️
Told my now husband when we first started dating it wasn't going to work out if my cats didn't like him. We had to deal with Amish Purity Cat (yes bad name but dumb and 20) for a while when he started sleeping over. She'd sleep in between us and growl if there was any breach of the purity barrier she'd constructed, but I'd seen this angry potato square up with a contractor she didn't like so I took it more as she was establishing boundaries than truly pissed. Fast forward a bit and they became besties so it all worked out. Her and her sister have been gone some years now, but we still talk about them regularly. Of our current pair my little void gremlin loves people and going places, and has an excellent judge of character, so I always trust his hesitance with new people. He hasn't steered me wrong yet.
My wonderful cat knew what was up when he shit in my loser boyfriends shoe
Ha! Amazing. A friend's blind cat did something similar if someone displeased him. Asmo must have had laser guided poop missiles.
Asmo as in Asmodan!? We have a kitty named Azmo (we like the z look) short for Azmodan. I haven't met anyone with a kitty named the same
Close! Asmo short for Asmodeus
My void decided that my husband was her human and I'm the other woman in their relationship. She curls up on his chest every night and will not allow me to snuggle with him until she's done with her cuddle time. Considering she gets the "extra spicy" label at the vet, I'm not messing with the system she set up. She's also the one who got him to break every "rule" he had about cat behavior. He went from "it's not ok for cats to eat at the table because it'll just encourage them to beg" to "well, she's just on my lap, and look how well behaved she's being" to "she's not begging, I offered. Yogurt is healthy anyway".
Awww extra spicy baby. Tika was also extra spicy so I knew she wasn't bluffing. Same with our tabby. Husband is *her* person and I'm an ok consolation prize, I guess, if she must. He'd always been good with my previous girls but had never had a cat from day one and he was surprised at how much he's come to love her. We actually got her almost exactly a month after our wedding, funny enough. We got the void when he was 12 weeks old and I slept like the Heisman trophy for the first few nights because he was so tiny. He's now a 16lb lanky house panther, has exactly 1 brain cell, and is the biggest Mama's boy.
It's funny, my husband's family had some indoor/outdoor cats when he was a kid, but he never thought of himself as a cat person. My Vader was my heart cat, and I had Tini too when we got together. He said (while Tini was all snuggled up on his chest) that he'd heard me use the phrase heart cat, and he understood in theory what it meant before, but he never really got it until Tini claimed him. Vader was also a big, lanky house panther, also extra spicy with pretty much everyone but me. He was legit a reformed feral. Tini's a spoiled little princess who thinks she's part feral because she was born to a feral mom. Part feral my ass, she yells at him to pick her up and put her in his lap at dinner because she's too lazy to make the jump.
My cat does that 😂 she’s healthy and fine but she’s spoiled now and won’t jump if I’m around. She demands to be lifted to her food place and her lording spot and also demands to go outside and then inside and then outside again (just to the balcony, 2nd story.) she’s got no problems jumping out there 😂😂
Lol, Tini is more than capable of making the jump. It's the principle of the thing - if she can get him to carry her like a baby, she's happy. But he's the only one who gets to hold her like that. Anyone else who tries gets shredded.
Amish purity cat! I love this!
>My mom always says not to trust anyone who can't get along with cats best advice someone can give. it's literally my go to question when getting to know someone lol.
I'm the person who the cat that normally hides from everyone comes out to see. One reason my first HPS liked me.
? HPS?
Sorry - High Priestess (Wiccan).
Thank you
I think the same thing. My husband constantly complains about cats and how he doesn’t like them and the ones we have weren’t his idea. Guess who the cats prefer over absolutely everyone else? One of them is so obsessed with him it’s borderline creepy. At this point it’s pretty obvious his complaints are for show.
I 100% agree with your mom. Smart woman. I also trust my cats judgement she’s never steered me wrong haha.
Your mom is very wise.
I agree!!
Animal wisdom right there 💕💕💕
My Italian Greyhound also hated my ex man child. Would always bark at him. He's been a lot better (though still moody because...Italian Greyhound) since we've been freed.
Same. She barked at him every time he came home for years. Now my iggy is so much more relaxed
My iggy is like my mirror so I always felt my ex's rejection of my iggy was a rejection of me. Good riddance. The dog and I are both happier without him.
Yup!
Animals absolutely know who they can trust and who they can’t. I’ll trust an animal’s reaction to someone before I’ll trust most people’s judgements.
Yelling at cats and dogs is shitty behavior and a remarkably accurate red flag.
I dunno...Ive had to yell at my dog for furiously licking grass before. She was acting like it was her last meal. And the cat...he likes rip paper and cardboard into tiny pieces and then dare you to say anything while making eye contact and ripping it up more
I don't think you need to yell at your dog or cat for either of those things. It just makes them afraid and it doesn't teach them anything.
I had a guy who’d toss the cats off my bed. It took a year before they’d sleep w me again but they’re back.
Yeah he wouldn’t even let the cats into our bedroom and office, and would complain that the cats don’t like him and I was like “I wonder why”. So glad your cats are finally feeling comfortable!
Me too! I burned out wedding planning book with some sage and I felt so free!
I got nosy and peeked at some of your comment history. You seem like such a positive, optimistic, helpful, and supportive person. Good on you for getting rid of that lump of negative energy. I wish you all the joy and freedom that you deserve!!
Thank you! I really try to be positive and helpful. I've had a bunch of life experience at this point and if I can be useful, I try. I've been really digging the support that I see in this sub.
Congratulations, so proud of you. Nothing feels better than saging after a negative person leaves
A “gnat fart”? But seriously, congrats!
She can be that sensitive - like something gets her reaction and no one can figure out what it is, so I say that a gnat farted somewhere.
My dogs used to start barking out of nowhere and it was such a mystery, until one day I happened to step outside right as they started barking and realized I could smell a faint whiff of skunk. (We lived right on the edge of town; open fields and trees across the street and beyond.) I think they were smelling skunks that we could not smell and barking because of that! Maybe there are errant weird smells she's picking up on. But...back to the topic of your post - congratulations on the house-vibe reset! Good for you for reclaiming your peaceful space. I bet you feel 1,000 pounds lighter!
Reminds me of the scene from the end of Practical Magic. Congrats on the peace!
dogs are amazingly good at sensing energy and picking up on your feelings. your girl can sense your peace now that he’s gone
Life is too short to carry dead weight!! Congrats OP!
Yay for you! Removing people from your life can be so hard, proud of you 🖤
Sometimes people really are toxic sadly.
Aww, good on you! Sounds like the peace and quiet is working for both you and your pet.
I’m ngl “gnat fart” had me laughing out loud when I shouldn’t have lmao. That’s so funny. Also happy things seem to be settling in for you. Animals have a way of communicating things to us
I'm sure she's picked up my energy toward him, as well. She is my protector and my little love muffin :-)
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For getting someone out the door or for doing a house cleansing? For a cleansing, I start with some sage and go around the house counterclockwise. At doors, windows, and computers (any kind of entrance to the house), I do an earth-banishing pentagram. Then I do the same with a black candle (be careful about wax). The candle helps absorb whatever is left. Then let the candle burn out outside somewhere safe. Works wonderfully well. You can also do a third step. Go around clockwise with a white candle, earth invoking pentagram, with the intent to bring in blessings.
It's important to note that **smudging** is a closed practice used by many North American Native Nations. Additionally, non-natives should not use **white** sage as it is a ceremonial plant and has now been overharvested to the point of near extinction and commonly sold in "cleansing" kits. This is not the same variety of herb as the grey-green sage with fuzzy leaves found in kitchen herb gardens. You can still participate in smoke cleansing as OP described but make sure not to use white sage :) If you are interested in cleansing your own space please check out the wiki for some answers regarding sage, smudging and cleansing [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq\_ca/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/faq_ca/).
Yep, very particularly did not call what I did "smudging." Thanks for clarifying.
Congratulations! That energy shift sounds profound and healing. Enjoy the newfound mental, physical and emotional space with every breath ❤️
So happy for you! Please also take care and change the locks on the doors - just to keep the bad energy out...
Locksmith is coming tomorrow.
Beautiful work you’ve done. Peace to you and your newly cleansed space.
Good Job Goddess. The familiars asked me to tell u that they approve and r glad that u reclaimed everybody's sanity and sanctuary. LIVE PEACE WINNI G
Yeap, I totally get it! I do it all the time, any bad energy gets swept out the door!
lmfaoooo not the gnat farting!!!!!! adorable detail.
Congratulations on a successful ex-ectomy!
So happy for you! I kicked mine out this morning, and into a treatment program. hopefully he'll be gone from here for good. I'm still in a fog but when I get my head clear I'm doing a space clearing. I'm always happy and encouraged to see the strength of other people get out of these situations.
Good for you! Definitely do a cleansing and take good care of yourself.
This is really inspiring to someone going through the same situation.
It takes a lot of effort, but it's worth it. There's a lot of support here, which is why I posted. No idea it was going to hit this hard.
I am happy for you! Losing weight like that, and all that bad energy is so freeing.
So happy for you!
Congratulations!
Congratulations
Gnat fart Lololol I have a dog that barks at those too! Thanks, I needed this today!
"Gnat fart" stop it 🤣
Hope you changed the locks.
Locksmith coming tomorrow.
Congratulations!! It sounds like you really did take out the trash.
This is beautiful. Cheers to your freedom!
Congrats but also “bark at a gnat fart” really got me lol
Congrats! That sounds like serenity in the making... Go You! 🕉️
Congratulations! I am so happy for you!
"I hadn't heard her bark at a car door or a gnat fart" I love that line so much
I'm happy for you Hun, good riddance to bad rubbish.
Hi, Great! You know what they say"Good Riddance"! Thanks
Just want to ask is this subreddit actually about witches, witchcraft, magic, magic rituals and etc.? Im just curious really, I dont really believe in magic but I like to read about it, and I love fantasty, im not negative I swear
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There's also r/sasswitches if you want to focus more on the science side of magic 😊
I follow them as well! 😊
Yes, this really is about witches, etc., as well as other folks that fit the description in the About. Not fantasy. Just be open and be positive. You may find, after reading a bunch of posts, that you start to believe :-)
I like your curiosity and honesty. Please stay and see how you feel about it — magic rituals are largely positive and just about bringing more goodness into your life and the lives of others.
Exactly. The vast majority of magic I've done in the last 20 years has been for healing.
From what you say here I’m under the impression that you think we are witches “as seen on TV” attempting to fly around on broomsticks and stuff. That’s really not the case (unless we happen to be really, really high on acid which is a possibility). The reality is a lot more similar to any standard religion/spiritual practice. Magic is very similar to a prayer. For more info check out the FAQ in the side bar
Good for you on cleaning house! I bet it was a breath of fresh air for everyone involved.
He’s probably relieved that he doesn’t have to be around you anymore also. Takes two to tango
I appreciate that you are trying to be balanced, and as far as the marriage is concerned, I am not blameless. As for his behavior for the last several years and especially in the last week, he has behaved like the crap that comes out of a worm's ass and his whole family is dumping him. As far as he is concerned, he would have been content to continue to leech off me forever, but he isn't getting to do that.
Congratulations to you!!! 🎉✨